As a Mexican man, I hereby allow all White people to wear the Sombrero for any occasion, as to any Mexican, it symbolizes respect and favor toward our culture.
Tyler Hanning No this is clearly what we get for letting people know that the world is nothing but rainbows and sunshines. These are the people who fell of a bike and had no scratches or any dirt and their parents babied them by taking them inside and giving them ice cream and toys.
We Support The Red Cross Message Board Latest Stories Latest Responses Archived Stories Worst Gift Stories Jokes Dr. Apter Advice Frequent Fry Her MIL Mall Story Entry Awards Poll Results Word Search Celeb IL Quiz Chat Room HELP Site Search Home Books, by Dr. Terri Apter What Do You Want From Me? Learning To Get Along With In-Laws You Don't Really Know Me Why Mothers and Daughters Fight and How Both Can Win Mother-In-Law Mall A place to find great gifts! and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members. "Survey says!" Click here - take the MIL Stories Site Survey - your opinion is important to us! Mother-In-Law Stories MIL Jokes Page For keeping up with necessary relations with your MIL at a safe distance, I recommend researching some good conference call services. Posted: 22-JUN-14 Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better. - Korean Proverb Posted: 10-AUG-13 I really DO have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage. Posted: 07-JUL-12 An old Les Dawson joke. I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for two years. We haven't quarreled. I just don't like to interrupt her. Posted: 28-JAN-09 Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL? A: Sir, we were able to save her! Posted: 7-NOV-08 Q: What is the ideal weight for a MIL? A: About 2.3lbs, including the urn. Posted: 14-MAY-08 The clock fell off the wall. If it was a minute sooner, it would have hit my MIL. That clock was always slow! Posted: 22-JUL-06 My MIL is banned internationally from playing poker, as she keeps all the chips on her shoulder! Posted: 13-JUL-06 Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my MIL." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?" Posted: 27-JAN-06 I was out shopping the other day after a conference, when I saw six women beating my MIL up. As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough". Posted: 19-JUL-05 Q: What do you do if you miss your MIL?? A: RELOAD, AND TRY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 24-MAR-05 Two men were in a pub. One says to his mate, "My MIL is an angel." His friend replies, "You're lucky. Mine is still alive." Posted: 11-FEB-05 Q: What do you have when your MIL is covered in concrete up to her shoulders? A: Too little concrete! Posted: 21-OCT-04 My FIL was driving down the road and was pulled over by a policeman. Walking up to my FIL's car, the policeman said, "Your wife fell out of the car five miles back." My FIL replied, "Thank God for that, I thought I'd gone deaf!" Posted: 12-OCT-04 I wouldn't say that my MIL was ugly, but every time she puts on lipstick, it tries to crawl back into the tube. Posted: 7-MAR-04 Q: How do you stop your MIL from drowning? A: Take your foot off her head. Posted: 1-NOV-03 Q: What should you do if you see your Mother-In-Law rolling around in pain on the ground? A: Shoot her again. Posted: 21-OCT-03 Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a MIL? A: One's a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other one is a fish! Posted: 4-JUN-03 A guy brings his dog into the vet and says, "Could you please cut my dog's tail off?" The vet examines the tail and says, "There is nothing wrong. Why would you want this done?" The man replies, "My MIL is coming to visit, and I don't want anything in the house to make her think that she is welcome!" Posted: 29-DEC-02 I bought my MIL a chair for Christmas, but she wouldn't plug it in. Posted: 5-OCT-02 A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my MIL, and I wanted to say, "Could you please pass the butter?" "But instead I said, "You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life." Posted: 4-OCT-02 Mother Knows Best: At a senior citizen's meeting, a couple were celebrating their 50th Anniversary. The husband stood up and was telling story of his dating habits in his youth. It seemed that every time he brought home a girl to meet his mother, his mother didn't like her. So, finally, he started searching until he found a girl who not only looked like his mother and acted like his mother, she even sounded like his mother. So he brought her home one night to have dinner, and his father didn't like her. Posted: 20-SEP-02 George went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation, and while they were visiting Jerusalem, George's mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper burial. The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law, told George, "My friend, the sending of a body back to the States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000 dollars." The Consul continued, "In most of these cases, the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150 dollars". George thinks for some time, and answers the Consul, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back. That's what I want to do." The Consul, after hearing this says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much, considering the difference in price between $5,000 and $150 dollars." "No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case many, many years ago of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem, and on the third day he was resurrected. Consequently, I do not want to take that chance!" Posted: 4-AUG-02 A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered. "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed. "This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained. "Love dress? But you're naked!" " My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me." The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked. "This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually. "Needs ironing," he said. Posted:2-JUL-02 I picked my MIL up at the airport last night. Yeah, those airport lounges are so dark! Posted: 3-JUN-02 A "rag and bone man" came to my MIL's house and said, "Excuse me missus, have you got any old beer bottles you can let me have?" At this, she indignantly replied, "Do I look as if I drink beer?" At this he said, "Sorry love, I suppose not. But, perhaps you have got some old vinegar bottles then?" Posted: 6-MAY-02 Cartoon copyrighted by Mark Parisi, reprinted with permission. To see related Mark Parisi products, please visit www.cafepress.com/motherinlaw Posted: 2-MAY-02 Q: Why do they bury mothers-in-law 18 feet down, when everyone else is buried 6 feet down? A: Because, deep down, they really are very nice people. Posted: 20-MAR-02 Two lifeguards are working together on a beach when one of them notices sharks circling a woman who has drifted out a little too far. He begins to get up to race to her rescue when the other lifeguard grabs his arm and holds him back. The first lifeguard says,"Why are you holding me back? We have to go save that woman!" To which the other replies, "Don't worry. That woman is my mother-in-law." "Are you trying to kill her?" "Although the idea may be tempting, that is not my intent. Just watch." With that, the sharks organize themselves beneath the woman, and ride her on their backs all the way to shore, safely depositing her. "What in the world gave you the notion that would happen," asked the first lifeguard. "Professional courtesy." Posted: 19-MAR-02 Q: Why would you rather deal with a vicious dog than your mother-in-law? A: A vicious dog eventually lets go! Posted: 18-MAR-02 Q: What's the difference between a dead mother-in-law lying in the middle of the road, and a dead snake lying in the middle of the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the snake! Posted: 16-MAR-02 Doctor: I'm sorry to say that your MIL had a heart attack. SIL/DIL: That's impossible! Doctor: What do mean that's impossible? SIL/DIL: She can't have a heart attack! She doesn't have a heart! Posted: 1-MAR-02 Q: Why did my mother-in-law cross the road? A: I don't know, but it was an ugly site. Posted: 12-JAN-02 I'm trying to get my MIL to go ice fishing before the ice gets too thick. Posted: 24-JUL-01 Q: What does a mil call her broom? A: Basic transportation. Posted: 24-JUL-01 A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried downstairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee. "How'd you get down here so fast?" he asked. "We were just making love!" "Oh my God," his wife gasped, "That's my mother up there! She came over early and had complained of having a headache. I told her to lie down for a while." Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom. "Mother, I can't believe this happened. Why didn't you say something?" The mother-in-law huffed, "I haven't spoken to that jerk for fifteen years, and I wasn't about to start now!" Posted: 9-JUN-01 My Mother-in-law's other car is a Broom! Posted: 16-Apr-01 My MIL asked, "If you don't like me, why do you take me on holidays with you?" I told her, "So I don't have to kiss you good-bye." Posted: 16-APR-01 My MIL asked me, "If you hate me so much, why is my photo on the mantelpiece (the shelf above the open fireplace)?" I told her, "So as to keep the kids away from the fire." I don't say my MIL's ugly ... but around our way, the peeping toms are giving themselves up to the police. My MIL said to me, "I'll dance on your grave." I said, "I hope you do. I'm being buried at sea." I don't say my MIL's mean ... but she turns off the gas when she's turning the bacon over. Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law. Adam and Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law. Sometimes you cannot tell if a man is trying so hard to be a success to please his wife or to spite his mother-in-law. Does it really surprise anyone that Mother-in-law's Day occurs less than one week before Halloween? "My Mother-In-Law was bitten by a dog yesterday." "How is she now?" "She's fine, but the dog died." My mother-in-law is a well balanced person. She's got a chip on BOTH shoulders. There aren't too many TV shows that dare to tackle the topic of The Mother-In-Law. So, here are a few suggestions for new story lines for some of the current hit TV shows. 1. Oprah: Dr. Phil discusses the phenomenon of "Reverse Claustrophobia" (the uncontrollable desire to lock yourself in a room or closet when your MIL visits.) 2. House of Fashion: Today's topic - This Old Bag 3. Daughters-in-law and Order - Special Victims Unit: Investigators probe horrid offenses committed by MILs that have left the victims devastated, and destroyed lives. 4. Survivor: Stay at home and vote to keep the MILs on the island forever. 5. Home Shopping Club: DIL SURVIVAL KIT - Items for sale include a new lock and key for your front door, duct tape, caller ID boxes, and ear plugs. 6. MIL Family Feud: Most of us have been playing this game since we got engaged. Whenever you say something, your MIL tries to top it. 7. WWF: See the champ in the ring with your MIL. Can she go the distance? Dirty looks and snide comments won't knock out these tough opponents. 8. MIL Hunter : Go Down Under and watch as one man gets close to nature and risks getting his head bitten off by one of mankind's oldest and fiercest enemies. 9. Olympic Track and Field: Watch as ordinary men and women set new world records for speed while running away from their MILs. 10. Martha Stewart Holiday Special: Learn to set a beautiful holiday table, without a place for your MIL. It's a good thing. 11. Family Law: In this episode, a woman fights to divorce her MIL while remaining married to her dear husband. 12. Judging MIL: Why not? She judges you. 13. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire: The MIL who asks the most irritating question in the shortest time wins big bucks. 14. Frasier: Will Daphne marry Niles this season? If she does, at least she won't have to contend with a MIL. 15. Unsolved Mysteries - Missing MILs: MILs are disappearing all over the city. Does it surprise you that no one is looking for them? A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought THREE women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law. She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead." "How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired. She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand HER." A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a very mean looking dog on a leash. Behind that were 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral procession like this. Whose funeral is it?" The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband." "What happened to him?" The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him." She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?" The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women. "Can I borrow the dog?" "Get in line." Overheard in a restaurant: SHE: This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste. HE: Are you describing the wine or your mother? My mother-in- law is so cross-eyed, that when she cries the tears roll down her back! Q: How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her. I never forget a face, But in my MIL's case I'm willing to make an exception. I have never made a fool of my MIL. I just leave her to display her natural talents herself. My MIL and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met each other. Last night the local peeping Tom knocked on my MIL's door, and asked her to shut her blinds. Marriage Anon is a club for bachelors. If any is tempted to marry, they send my MIL over in curlers and dressing gown. Two cannibals were sitting down eating lunch. One says to the other, "You know, I just can't stand my mother-in-law." The other one replies, "Forget about her! Just put her to the side and eat the mashed potatoes." A man finds a lamp, rubs it, and sure enough a genie appears. The genie tells the man he may have 2 wishes. He will get whatever 2 things he wishes, BUT whatever he gets, his MIL will get double. The man thinks for a while & then proclaims "1. I'd like a million dollars. 2. Beat me half to death". The Argument: A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws." Q: What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and your MIL? A: Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, your MIL doesn't know the difference. Q: What are the two worst things about your MIL? A: Her faces. My MIL is so big, we had to stop buying her Malcolm X tee shirts, because helicopters kept trying to land on her. A man was on trial for bigamy, and after the judge passed sentence he asked the defendant if he'd learned what made having more than one wife a bad thing. "Yes, your honor, I have," he replied. "What is the reason?" the judge asked. "Having two wives means having two mothers-in-law, and that, in itself, should be grounds enough to support assisted suicide." My mother-in-law is so stupid she actually asked me for money. The thing is, is that, according to her I'm a bum !!!!! How dumb is she? I always know when it's the mother-in-law knocking at the door - the mice throw themselves in the traps. My mother-in-law is a big woman. She got run over last week. The driver said he had enough room to get around her, but he didn't know if he had enough petrol (gas). The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door, there was my mother-in-law on the front step. She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?" I said, "Sure you can." And shut the door in her face. A GIFT FOR HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW Two guys were talking at work. "I've got a problem," said the first one. "What is it?" "My wife has done it to me again. I'm supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of us. And, I am fresh out of ideas. I mean, it's HER mother, why can't she buy it?" "What did you buy her last year?" the other one asked. "Last year I bought her a VERY EXPENSIVE cemetery plot." "Hmmmm, hard to top that one," said the other. The two guys couldn't come up with anything. So the son-in-law didn't buy his mother-in-law anything for her birthday. When the big day arrived the next weekend, she was a bit upset. At the family gathering for her birthday, she announced out loud to everyone, "Thank you all for the wonderful gifts. Too bad my daughter and son-in-law weren't so thoughtful!" Thinking quickly, the son-in-law responded, "Well, you haven't used the gift I gave you last year!" Q: How many mothers-in-law does it take to ruin a marriage? A: Just one ... mine! Q: How many mothers-in-law does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None ... she always gets the son-in-law to do it. Q: What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a vulture? A: The vulture waits till you are dead before it eats your heart out. A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So, the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." "My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek." Last week my wife and I went car shopping, and the salesman asked if I wanted a car with an Airbag. I said, "No thanks. I already have a Mother-in-law." Q: How are shotguns and mothers-in-law alike? A: If there is one around, you just want to shoot it! I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "mother-in-law" you get the words "woman Hitler". Q: What's the definition of happiness? A: Getting up in the morning and seeing your mother-in-law's picture on a milk carton! "It was really cold outside today." "HOW COLD WAS IT?" "It was colder than a mother-in-law's kiss!" "Hello. Your Mother-In-Law fell into my pool filled with crocodiles." "The crocodiles are yours, so you save them." A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife said, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it." Q: The difference between outlaws and in-laws? A: Outlaws are Wanted!!
+James Films Safe Space: anywhere one is protected from incoming small-arms fire, shrapnel or RPGs -- like a boulder, sand dune, thick stone wall, for example.
I got a safe space for these people it's called a safe room, they give you a cool padded room were you can scream in the sky all day long because trump got elected. Our grandparents had real problems like shit I hope I don't have to get drafted into war and fight off an entire continent of Nazis!
You make a GREAT point. I almost forgot about this saying. This was playground gospel back in the day. But now, you're not aloud to defend yourself with violence OR with words. So what in the f*ck are you supposed to do? Ya know. That's why all these kids are weak and sensitive. They were made to shut themselves off and take all the abuse. So now, when they finally grow a set, and start sticking up for themselves, it's for all this pansy ass nonsense!
10 years ago: Conservatives ate plants. 2022: Plants are stupid!! blah!! Yeah when you misrepresent someone's position entirely it sounds incredibly stupid. Very big brain
Daniel T OMG I don't think I could live there. It would be fun triggering them for a while. But I couldn't be surrounded by that much stupidity every day and not lose my shit. My hats off to you, buddy. You're more patient than I am.
Here in Seattle you'd think it would be as terrible, but you find like a good 30-40% of people that have brains. I think it's just that here, we really don't care about anyone around us, just ourselves, with the sun not naturally giving these ppl spice in life. But the SJW's you do meet though will kill you
"No racist jokes? Those are out of the question?" "No, it can depend on the context." Context, meaning who is making the joke. White person = racist. Not white = it's fine. (Note: Asians can be either white or non-white, depending on the joke)
To be honest, I'm cool with sombrero costumes and incest under certain circumstances. There are circumstances where an incestious relationship should be permitted, that is if it is between two consenting adults and it can be verified beyond a reasonable doubt that nobody's being hurt or abused.
Jonathan Willis But that's something entirely different. We were talking about sex, not having a child. You can argue against two relatives having a child, you can't really argue against two, adult, consenting relatives having sex, as they're not hurting anyone. But it's interesting that you would bring up reproduction, because there are quite a few people out there with hereditary diseases that will almost guarantee their offspring a far worse handicap than those of an incestious relationship (keep in mind that most former royals managed to rule entire empires after decades of inbreeding.) Do you propose forbidding these people from having children as well? Or as we do in regards of incest, forbid them from having sex all together? I'm not taking any sides on the child issue, just wanting to know what you think about it.
Making a sexist joke doesn't mean you're sexist Making a racist joke doesn't mean you're racist There's a difference between having a laugh and purposely putting someone down
A new idea for Mark Dice is asking young people what they are doing to decrease their carbon foot print. Its a definitely thing with the young people now..
@@horsesense6173liberals do Not do it all of the time-most liberals I know are very peaceful and empathetic. I've experienced it thousands of times from neocons; I've gotten death threats, threats of violence, slander/character defamation from conservatives. And usually they interrupt and talk over me, shout, point, and make their fists at me before I can even finish my sentences.
If are country was going down it isn't because the thing's you mentioned. we cant even find some middle ground with all these extremest running around(ON BOTH SIDE'S) P.S can i come over and shoot my SLR-95 LOL. i saw the shooting vid, NICE!.
@@stomptheshitoutofaconserva2714 Man, that was already lame, and then you added all of that goofy laughing and that just made it cheesy. But to address your points, yes, cronyism is bad as well as starting wars for profit. What's not bad is trying to suport small businesses that employ millions of people.
jason bourne Beautifully put. It sucks that I feel that I'm one of the few people that still feel patriotic towards my country and want to join the military. It's just sad, no one cares about others. It's all so selfish, ya know?
WWIIMed18 I completely understand. I applaud your desire to serve. I joined and have been in for 5 years and I plan on re-upping for more. Go for it. You won't regret it. I don't.
@@classmst89 jokes were born with patriarchy. Feminists would never find that funny, they'll will be offended when men make jokes. Men wouldn't laugh at women's jokes either. When that time comes, we're all fucked
marks reply: "you're making this far too complicated". so mark, regarding context is making it "far too complicated" for you? that just means you are fucking stupid
yes. It does depend. I've been offended by racist and sexist jokes for sure, but it's only when I get the feeling that they're serious about it (in other words, it's NOT a joke in the first place)
gorbulas No. We should invade, and take all the liberal pusscakes to a concentration camp where they will learn how to be productive members of society.
logan lanphier actually you're the one who's being transphobic, zir, as you are not accepting one of the many genders that exist. You're saying that the feline gender does not exist thus being transphobic. Good day, zir.
Dana Bana I lived in Carlsbad CA. The same area they are ...I believe Oceanside Beach...and have to say ,coming from the northeast coast, I didn't ever feel like I could assimilate into the California mindset. It was completely foreign thinking that I couldn't bring myself to believe. Beautiful land....but the people were very one dimensional. California sucks. Glad I'm back in the NYC area.
"I am going to tear down your safe space, brick by brick I shall smash it with glee, no one can stop me from getting inside, I am cold and I am hard and my name.............is Reality"
Self defense lesson for men... If being attacked by a woman with a knife throw bread meat and mayo At her... Her instincts should kick in and she'll make you a sandwich
These have to be fake. Nobody in their right mind would say that, much less actually have something called a safe space. So dumb. Plus this guy is just a douche.
I am so glad.I am a 58 year old guy, who has enjoyed years of sexist, racist and inappropriate jokes. NO harm is meant, but it is such a shame that people are so offended about so little. As long as it"s not malicious to an individual who can't defend themselves. Get over it
I can no longer tolerate liberalism. It has gotten to the point where their political correctness and being overly tolerant has led to them being okay with downright disgusting and destructive behaviors. This narcissism and self-indulgence needs to stop. We need to learn to be disciplined beings, because when everyone is so self-indulgent, that's when the things that keep our society together start to fall apart - things such as education, health, a strong workforce, and strong family structures. All of those things require hard work, dedication, and discipline - which are traits that the self-indulgent person lacks. Also, this "microaggression" and "safe-space" culture has resulted in millions of people who cannot accept when their candidate loses an election, and just like children, they are acting-out in violent and unreasonable ways.
Well, I do know that none of us who support and voted for Trump cry and whine about being offended and run away seeking 'safe spaces' to escape reality. It is us conservative Trump people who are the ones chasing these weak pansies off to their imaginary safe spaces. And racist jokes are funny, people need to lighten up. These butthurt people have no sense of humor and must be such a drag to hang out with.
" It is us conservative Trump people who are the ones chasing these weak pansies off to their imaginary safe spaces". Laura Ward. Yup just about every trump vid is full of you wack job's threatening violence stomping you're feet and huffing and puffing, almost like you do not care about anyone but yourself's, hhmm seems to be the trend here. well feel free to chase me and then face the barrel of my SLR-95(AK 47 ) maybe people are not a as binary as you think. P.s both candidates sucked. Hillary ,old and jaded. Trump, just another Ronald Reagan. but a bit better.
+someone1tohold We don't have to huff and puff and stomp our feet.Cuz we are too busy basking in the glory of our victory. And you're getting the ones threatening violence mixed up.You're complaining about Trump supporters being violent, then threaten violence with your oh so scary AK-47.The hypocrisy is so rampid and absurd that it's become fucking laughable.
If sexist jokes are taboo then how about we stop treating men, and depicting them like they are idiots!! I see how my Son's are treated and it makes me mad!
I was waiting for him to tell a joke that was derogatory to males and ask if that was acceptable. You and I both know those girls would have had a big laugh and would say that kind of sexist joke is just fine. Same thing with racist jokes against white people, those kind of jokes are what safe spaces are meant for.
Yes I know. I said it was a nice way to say you disagree. It was nice to use humor to reply. Too many times people reply saying mean things. I just got a kick out of your humor that you disagree. I wish more people would be funny or kind when disagreeing. PS I'm glad you agree. 🌞
He said, 'racist' jokes. That covers all colors dumbshit! Have you ever seen a black comedian, that didn't tell racist jokes about white or Chinese people?
Reynold riper Wow... Talk about being an imbecile.You brought up racism, as if only whites tell racists jokes. I was pointing out that you were wrong and most likely a complete dumbshit
Why is it that the people talking about safe space always look the same horrible way. And by "horrible" I don't mean ugly, I mean they literally don't look like anything at all...which is terrifying to me.
The recommended "safe space" for all women is known as the kitchen. These problems only arise when women stray outside their proper place, which is the kitchen.
Because if we gave women *only* jobs they were good at, they'd just *sit on the couch* all day. Nobody said they were good at cooking, but it at least keeps them from screwing everything else up.
@psychotronik13 "When we stopped believing in god we didnt start believing in nothing but rather in anything." - G.K. Chesterton EVERYONE has a religion ... you just have to identify yours: feminism/social justice, capitalism, vegetarianism/veganism, yoga, ...
srgnt0sprinkles jokes are fine but dont offend for the sake of offending. it just ain't cool. if the other person gets offended that's their problem but life is too important to waste by offending others.
srgnt0sprinkles yea i see what u mean as well. wearing a sombrero like that feminist chick said is not offensive. being too sensitive is as bad as being too offensive. gotta have a balance.
Dei Yeah honestly that's just fucking ridiculous, I just don't know how someone can say with a straight face that Halloween costumes make her feel unsafe. Just feminists wanting everything to be how they like it and wanting everywhere to be a safe space. So glad the feminist movement isn't in my college in Ireland (yet)
It is a big issue today albeit there seems to be lots of confusion and no set rules,standards and principles as to clearly define, accept and enforce a safe space. We can try to understand people but people have to let us know also that they are not comfortable with an issue. What do you think?
The Beast same here. I also never heard of “no whites on campus” day when I was at college. I guarantee I would have broken that rule. I’ll be damned if a bunch of crybaby blacks tell me I can’t be on a campus THAT I PAID TO BE AT.
dt05 let me tell you few thins about black American "intellectuals." There are almost NONE joining hubs/groups for STEM, maths, engineering, etc. I am an admin for one open-source 3D software that is used for 3D modelling, animation, psychics simulations, VFX, etc. I have seen *NO* black Americans joining our hub. Absolutely *NONE.* Of black members from around the world, I have only Africans with high IQ, good many of them. Many Africans know advanced maths like matrix, as they write maths in node compositing inside software. They showcase their talents, and prove themselves to be many times better educated and smarter than black American intellectuals. They have wider vocabulary and speak better English than black Americans. Another difference, they are more socially advanced as well. They are the new whites of Africa.
The Beast don't leave us here, the safe space is gonna get so big that Ima have to jump on board with Elon to mars and get stoned asf from the second hand smoke. This comment was originally intended to make a serious statement but I trailed off Also a month late
If you wake up tomorrow and discover that everybody in the US is suddenly speaking German, don't be surprised. It only means that somebody has invented a time machine and has sent footage of this to the allied soldiers (and, hell, I wouldn't even blame him for doing so).
YES, we ARE the most dangerous generation. Prepare to have your asses kicked, you trump-sucking losers. :-) Mark Dice can go to hell and you all can follow him. And no, assholes, don't bother to respond. You're site is set to DISAPPEAR now. FU
When I think about 18 and 19 year olds landing at Normandy, being mowed down by machine guns and giving up their lives for freedom, and then see these crybabies who fall apart if they hear something offensive, I literally want to vomit.
"Joke can't be offensive towards people anymore" Unless of course... it's someone you don't like.. let's say... President Trump. Then you guys are totally cool with it.
peter wurst what are you talking about mexicans for? There's more hispanics in the u.s other than mexicans, its always ignorant people blaming mexicans like if that's the only country that has hispanics. 🤔🙄
As a Mexican man, I hereby allow all White people to wear the Sombrero for any occasion, as to any Mexican, it symbolizes respect and favor toward our culture.
His Dudeness Im a stereotypical Mexican that mows lawns.
***** That's Daddy El Chapo to peasents.
Ray of Sunshine His Dudeness allows this
Jed the Jew Im a middle class white Mexican who lives in Mexico and has no intentions of migrating into the Sjw paradise called the US, stfu
Thanks Brother. Love me a Sombrero.
This is the result of handing out participation trophies.
Sam Clark ...that were handed out by the parent generation.
MrWeirdguy99 In an attempt to make their kids happy... which failed. Obviously they regret that
Sam Clark lol this is the result of never receiving a trophy at all.
Tyler Hanning lol truuuu
Tyler Hanning No this is clearly what we get for letting people know that the world is nothing but rainbows and sunshines. These are the people who fell of a bike and had no scratches or any dirt and their parents babied them by taking them inside and giving them ice cream and toys.
Today's millennials would find mother in law jokes offensive.
Russell Nielsen hahaha im dying to hear some now... whatchya got??
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For keeping up with necessary relations with your MIL at a safe distance, I recommend researching some good conference call services.
Posted: 22-JUN-14
Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.
- Korean Proverb
Posted: 10-AUG-13
I really DO have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.
Posted: 07-JUL-12
An old Les Dawson joke.
I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for two years. We haven't quarreled. I just don't like to interrupt her.
Posted: 28-JAN-09
Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL?
A: Sir, we were able to save her!
Posted: 7-NOV-08
Q: What is the ideal weight for a MIL?
A: About 2.3lbs, including the urn.
Posted: 14-MAY-08
The clock fell off the wall. If it was a minute sooner, it would have hit my MIL. That clock was always slow!
Posted: 22-JUL-06
My MIL is banned internationally from playing poker, as she keeps all the chips on her shoulder!
Posted: 13-JUL-06
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my MIL." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"
Posted: 27-JAN-06
I was out shopping the other day after a conference, when I saw six women beating my MIL up. As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough".
Posted: 19-JUL-05
Q: What do you do if you miss your MIL??
A: RELOAD, AND TRY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 24-MAR-05
Two men were in a pub. One says to his mate, "My MIL is an angel." His friend replies, "You're lucky. Mine is still alive."
Posted: 11-FEB-05
Q: What do you have when your MIL is covered in concrete up to her shoulders?
A: Too little concrete!
Posted: 21-OCT-04
My FIL was driving down the road and was pulled over by a policeman. Walking up to my FIL's car, the policeman said, "Your wife fell out of the car five miles back." My FIL replied, "Thank God for that, I thought I'd gone deaf!"
Posted: 12-OCT-04
I wouldn't say that my MIL was ugly, but every time she puts on lipstick, it tries to crawl back into the tube.
Posted: 7-MAR-04
Q: How do you stop your MIL from drowning?
A: Take your foot off her head.
Posted: 1-NOV-03
Q: What should you do if you see your Mother-In-Law rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot her again.
Posted: 21-OCT-03
Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a MIL?
A: One's a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other one is a fish!
Posted: 4-JUN-03
A guy brings his dog into the vet and says, "Could you please cut my dog's tail off?" The vet examines the tail and says, "There is nothing wrong. Why would you want this done?" The man replies, "My MIL is coming to visit, and I don't want anything in the house to make her think that she is welcome!"
Posted: 29-DEC-02
I bought my MIL a chair for Christmas, but she wouldn't plug it in.
Posted: 5-OCT-02
A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my MIL, and I wanted to say, "Could you please pass the butter?" "But instead I said, "You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."
Posted: 4-OCT-02
Mother Knows Best: At a senior citizen's meeting, a couple were celebrating their 50th Anniversary. The husband stood up and was telling story of his dating habits in his youth. It seemed that every time he brought home a girl to meet his mother, his mother didn't like her. So, finally, he started searching until he found a girl who not only looked like his mother and acted like his mother, she even sounded like his mother. So he brought her home one night to have dinner, and his father didn't like her.
Posted: 20-SEP-02
George went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation, and while they were visiting Jerusalem, George's mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper burial. The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law, told George, "My friend, the sending of a body back to the States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000 dollars." The Consul continued, "In most of these cases, the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150 dollars". George thinks for some time, and answers the Consul, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back. That's what I want to do." The Consul, after hearing this says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much, considering the difference in price between $5,000 and $150 dollars." "No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case many, many years ago of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem, and on the third day he was resurrected. Consequently, I do not want to take that chance!"
Posted: 4-AUG-02
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered. "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed. "This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained. "Love dress? But you're naked!" " My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me." The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked. "This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually. "Needs ironing," he said.
Posted:2-JUL-02
I picked my MIL up at the airport last night. Yeah, those airport lounges are so dark!
Posted: 3-JUN-02
A "rag and bone man" came to my MIL's house and said, "Excuse me missus, have you got any old beer bottles you can let me have?" At this, she indignantly replied, "Do I look as if I drink beer?" At this he said, "Sorry love, I suppose not. But, perhaps you have got some old vinegar bottles then?"
Posted: 6-MAY-02
Cartoon copyrighted by Mark Parisi, reprinted with permission.
To see related Mark Parisi products, please visit
www.cafepress.com/motherinlaw
Posted: 2-MAY-02
Q: Why do they bury mothers-in-law 18 feet down, when everyone else is buried 6 feet down?
A: Because, deep down, they really are very nice people.
Posted: 20-MAR-02
Two lifeguards are working together on a beach when one of them notices sharks circling a woman who has drifted out a little too far. He begins to get up to race to her rescue when the other lifeguard grabs his arm and holds him back.
The first lifeguard says,"Why are you holding me back? We have to go save that woman!"
To which the other replies, "Don't worry. That woman is my mother-in-law."
"Are you trying to kill her?"
"Although the idea may be tempting, that is not my intent. Just watch."
With that, the sharks organize themselves beneath the woman, and ride her on their backs all the way to shore, safely depositing her.
"What in the world gave you the notion that would happen," asked the first lifeguard.
"Professional courtesy."
Posted: 19-MAR-02
Q: Why would you rather deal with a vicious dog than your mother-in-law?
A: A vicious dog eventually lets go!
Posted: 18-MAR-02
Q: What's the difference between a dead mother-in-law lying in the middle of the road, and a dead snake lying in the middle of the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the snake!
Posted: 16-MAR-02
Doctor: I'm sorry to say that your MIL had a heart attack.
SIL/DIL: That's impossible!
Doctor: What do mean that's impossible?
SIL/DIL: She can't have a heart attack! She doesn't have a heart!
Posted: 1-MAR-02
Q: Why did my mother-in-law cross the road?
A: I don't know, but it was an ugly site.
Posted: 12-JAN-02
I'm trying to get my MIL to go ice fishing before the ice gets too thick.
Posted: 24-JUL-01
Q: What does a mil call her broom?
A: Basic transportation.
Posted: 24-JUL-01
A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried downstairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee. "How'd you get down here so fast?" he asked. "We were just making love!" "Oh my God," his wife gasped, "That's my mother up there! She came over early and had complained of having a headache. I told her to lie down for a while." Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom. "Mother, I can't believe this happened. Why didn't you say something?" The mother-in-law huffed, "I haven't spoken to that jerk for fifteen years, and I wasn't about to start now!"
Posted: 9-JUN-01
My Mother-in-law's other car is a Broom!
Posted: 16-Apr-01
My MIL asked, "If you don't like me, why do you take me on holidays with you?" I told her, "So I don't have to kiss you good-bye."
Posted: 16-APR-01
My MIL asked me, "If you hate me so much, why is my photo on the mantelpiece (the shelf above the open fireplace)?" I told her, "So as to keep the kids away from the fire."
I don't say my MIL's ugly ... but around our way, the peeping toms are giving themselves up to the police.
My MIL said to me, "I'll dance on your grave." I said, "I hope you do. I'm being buried at sea."
I don't say my MIL's mean ... but she turns off the gas when she's turning the bacon over.
Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
Adam and Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.
Sometimes you cannot tell if a man is trying so hard to be a success to please his wife or to spite his mother-in-law.
Does it really surprise anyone that Mother-in-law's Day occurs less than one week before Halloween?
"My Mother-In-Law was bitten by a dog yesterday."
"How is she now?"
"She's fine, but the dog died."
My mother-in-law is a well balanced person. She's got a chip on BOTH shoulders.
There aren't too many TV shows that dare to tackle the topic of The Mother-In-Law. So, here are a few suggestions for new story lines for some of the current hit TV shows.
1. Oprah: Dr. Phil discusses the phenomenon of "Reverse Claustrophobia" (the uncontrollable desire to lock yourself in a room or closet when your MIL visits.)
2. House of Fashion: Today's topic - This Old Bag
3. Daughters-in-law and Order - Special Victims Unit: Investigators probe horrid offenses committed by MILs that have left the victims devastated, and destroyed lives.
4. Survivor: Stay at home and vote to keep the MILs on the island forever.
5. Home Shopping Club: DIL SURVIVAL KIT - Items for sale include a new lock and key for your front door, duct tape, caller ID boxes, and ear plugs.
6. MIL Family Feud: Most of us have been playing this game since we got engaged. Whenever you say something, your MIL tries to top it.
7. WWF: See the champ in the ring with your MIL. Can she go the distance? Dirty looks and snide comments won't knock out these tough opponents.
8. MIL Hunter : Go Down Under and watch as one man gets close to nature and risks getting his head bitten off by one of mankind's oldest and fiercest enemies.
9. Olympic Track and Field: Watch as ordinary men and women set new world records for speed while running away from their MILs.
10. Martha Stewart Holiday Special: Learn to set a beautiful holiday table, without a place for your MIL. It's a good thing.
11. Family Law: In this episode, a woman fights to divorce her MIL while remaining married to her dear husband.
12. Judging MIL: Why not? She judges you.
13. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire: The MIL who asks the most irritating question in the shortest time wins big bucks.
14. Frasier: Will Daphne marry Niles this season? If she does, at least she won't have to contend with a MIL.
15. Unsolved Mysteries - Missing MILs: MILs are disappearing all over the city. Does it surprise you that no one is looking for them?
A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought THREE women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law. She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead." "How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired. She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand HER."
A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a very mean looking dog on a leash. Behind that were 200 women walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand her curiosity.
She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral procession like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband."
"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
Overheard in a restaurant:
SHE: This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste.
HE: Are you describing the wine or your mother?
My mother-in- law is so cross-eyed, that when she cries the tears roll down her back!
Q: How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.
I never forget a face,
But in my MIL's case I'm willing to make an exception.
I have never made a fool of my MIL.
I just leave her to display her natural talents herself.
My MIL and I were happy for 20 years.
Then we met each other.
Last night the local peeping Tom knocked on my MIL's door, and asked her to shut her blinds.
Marriage Anon is a club for bachelors.
If any is tempted to marry, they send my MIL over in curlers and dressing gown.
Two cannibals were sitting down eating lunch.
One says to the other, "You know, I just can't stand my mother-in-law."
The other one replies, "Forget about her! Just put her to the side and eat the mashed potatoes."
A man finds a lamp, rubs it, and sure enough a genie appears. The genie tells the man he may have 2 wishes. He will get whatever 2 things he wishes, BUT whatever he gets, his MIL will get double. The man thinks for a while & then proclaims "1. I'd like a million dollars. 2. Beat me half to death".
The Argument:
A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."
Q: What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, and your MIL?
A: Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, your MIL doesn't know the difference.
Q: What are the two worst things about your MIL?
A: Her faces.
My MIL is so big, we had to stop buying her Malcolm X tee shirts, because helicopters kept trying to land on her.
A man was on trial for bigamy, and after the judge passed sentence he asked the defendant if he'd learned what made having more than one wife a bad thing. "Yes, your honor, I have," he replied. "What is the reason?" the judge asked. "Having two wives means having two mothers-in-law, and that, in itself, should be grounds enough to support assisted suicide."
My mother-in-law is so stupid she actually asked me for money. The thing is, is that, according to her I'm a bum !!!!! How dumb is she?
I always know when it's the mother-in-law knocking at the door - the mice throw themselves in the traps.
My mother-in-law is a big woman. She got run over last week. The driver said he had enough room to get around her, but he didn't know if he had enough petrol (gas).
The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door, there was my mother-in-law on the front step.
She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?"
I said, "Sure you can." And shut the door in her face.
A GIFT FOR HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW
Two guys were talking at work.
"I've got a problem," said the first one.
"What is it?"
"My wife has done it to me again. I'm supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of us. And, I am fresh out of ideas. I mean, it's HER mother, why can't she buy it?"
"What did you buy her last year?" the other one asked.
"Last year I bought her a VERY EXPENSIVE cemetery plot."
"Hmmmm, hard to top that one," said the other.
The two guys couldn't come up with anything. So the son-in-law didn't buy his mother-in-law anything for her birthday.
When the big day arrived the next weekend, she was a bit upset. At the family gathering for her birthday, she announced out loud to everyone, "Thank you all for the wonderful gifts. Too bad my daughter and son-in-law weren't so thoughtful!"
Thinking quickly, the son-in-law responded, "Well, you haven't used the gift I gave you last year!"
Q: How many mothers-in-law does it take to ruin a marriage?
A: Just one ... mine!
Q: How many mothers-in-law does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None ... she always gets the son-in-law to do it.
Q: What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a vulture?
A: The vulture waits till you are dead before it eats your heart out.
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So, the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
Last week my wife and I went car shopping, and the salesman asked if I wanted a car with an Airbag. I said, "No thanks. I already have a Mother-in-law."
Q: How are shotguns and mothers-in-law alike?
A: If there is one around, you just want to shoot it!
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "mother-in-law" you get the words "woman Hitler".
Q: What's the definition of happiness?
A: Getting up in the morning and seeing your mother-in-law's picture on a milk carton!
"It was really cold outside today."
"HOW COLD WAS IT?"
"It was colder than a mother-in-law's kiss!"
"Hello. Your Mother-In-Law fell into my pool filled with crocodiles."
"The crocodiles are yours, so you save them."
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
Q: The difference between outlaws and in-laws?
A: Outlaws are Wanted!!
I'm a 32 year old male and I sexually identify as a mother-in-law.
Russell Nielsen how FUCKING dare you ???
I'm a 22 year old man and I identify as a joke
I don't feel safe around that woman when she's not wearing a bra.
Good chance you could be taken out by those giant rat bashers
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m dead 💀💀💀💀😂😂😂
she’s a “caricature” of a whiny jerk
😂😭😂
We're doomed..
+James Films Safe Space: anywhere one is protected from incoming small-arms fire, shrapnel or RPGs -- like a boulder, sand dune, thick stone wall, for example.
Yep most likely...
James Films just Cali is
Diablo 2 Elite pvp guides no,no,no,no *everyone* is doomed
I got a safe space for these people it's called a safe room, they give you a cool padded room were you can scream in the sky all day long because trump got elected. Our grandparents had real problems like shit I hope I don't have to get drafted into war and fight off an entire continent of Nazis!
i like the fact that they call themselves "warriors" and yet need "safe spaces"
Ikr? Pathetic.
What do you think entrenchments were? Or forts?
@@kidfox3971 Those were to protect you from being freaking brutally murdered, not offended by something.
Are u talking about conservative subs where u can only post if u are conservative?
@@TheFoxFromSplashMountain Are u talking about conservative subs where u can only post if u are conservative?
I painted my computer black hoping it would run faster.
Always Triggered But instead, it just refused to work.
You know why black people don't take cruises? They arent falling for that one again.
Did it??
Seen it but it is funny so hears a like ^
@@darncat422 haha what the fuck. A bit triggered I see. And just to let ya know I'm black buddy.
10 years ago: Sticks and stones may break my bones...
2021: words are literally violence!!!
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but incorrect words will get me sued for hate speech by prancing leftist twats."
You make a GREAT point.
I almost forgot about this saying. This was playground gospel back in the day. But now, you're not aloud to defend yourself with violence OR with words. So what in the f*ck are you supposed to do? Ya know.
That's why all these kids are weak and sensitive. They were made to shut themselves off and take all the abuse. So now, when they finally grow a set, and start sticking up for themselves, it's for all this pansy ass nonsense!
Words are violence, but actial violence (such as burning down a car dealership or looting and burning a Walmart) is not violence.
10 years ago: Conservatives ate plants.
2022: Plants are stupid!! blah!!
Yeah when you misrepresent someone's position entirely it sounds incredibly stupid. Very big brain
@@myflipnotes What's eating plants got to do with name calling?
As a Mexican, I don’t care if you use a sombrero. You have my blessing. Have a taco while you’re at it
Mike Wilhelmson You’re welcome señor, anytime 👌🏼
I don’t like hats but a taco sounds great thank you
It's like me saying as an American I don't care if you wear baseball cap
i bought my chihuahua/beagle mix a mariachi outfit, glad to know you approve =]
Are you a mexican or a mexicant?
“And you’re not joking are you”
“No”
“Oh my god”
Elias manriquez Gosh**
I cried 😂😂😂
I threw up at her rack. that shit is disgusting.
I was your thousandth like.
I love when he rolls his eyes too.
I live in Cali and yeah these people are real. It's fun to mess with them like this guy.
Daniel T OMG I don't think I could live there. It would be fun triggering them for a while. But I couldn't be surrounded by that much stupidity every day and not lose my shit. My hats off to you, buddy. You're more patient than I am.
I moved from San Diego last year. Spent a lot of time in PB. Can confirm hahaha
Living on a college campus is almost the same, but I haven't seen it this bad.
Here in Seattle you'd think it would be as terrible, but you find like a good 30-40% of people that have brains. I think it's just that here, we really don't care about anyone around us, just ourselves, with the sun not naturally giving these ppl spice in life. But the SJW's you do meet though will kill you
Bless your heart I really don't think I'd be able to deal with the toxic collective mentality that permeates that place.
"It's okay for father and daughter to have sex in a safe space..." My brain hurts...
,,[..]In my savespace"*
"Jokes can't be disrespectful anymore?"
"Not towards humans"
....
A pig, a horse and a cow walked into an abattoir....
But then once you give them that battle. They turn around and then say you can’t make jokes about animals either 😂
They all cried and left in pieces
Can't do that because then a Vegan Warrior will come an talk about the love for animals lol
By 2050: A table, a chair and a pencil walked into a classroom ....
Vegans are deplatforming you right now
The girl with the yellow hair has nothing to worry about nobody’s gonna go in her safe space 🤮
Yeah cuz she took the whole space
Don’t violate her
Why?
@@Blazer0 😂😭😂😭
@BlueBerryPepe I just use it as a logo
that girls swim suit makes that beach a non safe space.
Lmao right hahaha
Yeah, does she need a safe space? No, but Mental Institution, for sure.
Um...yea.
LOL agreed
"No racist jokes? Those are out of the question?"
"No, it can depend on the context."
Context, meaning who is making the joke. White person = racist. Not white = it's fine. (Note: Asians can be either white or non-white, depending on the joke)
asians rnt white
Kamala Harris is white, so is Obama.
So this is what science in action looks like. These are raw facts.
@@pulakification obama is mixed.
My safe space is behind my concealed carry S&W 9mm or home defense weapon.
good one lol
*My safe space is uploading videos of my friend drinking toilet water and laughing at people thinking he is disgusting*
Catnium tell that to the next Marine you see.
Catnium only pussies liberals say dumb shit like that.need a safe space candyass
Gregory Everson I got Superman on speed dial. Rekt, son.
.....oh jeeez.
Incest okay, Sombrero unsafe.
Got it.
Post of the day!
Vault Tec Well they were raised on internet porn on their smartphones and taught that they should be as androgynous as possible, so go figure.
To be honest, I'm cool with sombrero costumes and incest under certain circumstances. There are circumstances where an incestious relationship should be permitted, that is if it is between two consenting adults and it can be verified beyond a reasonable doubt that nobody's being hurt or abused.
Jonathan Willis But that's something entirely different. We were talking about sex, not having a child.
You can argue against two relatives having a child, you can't really argue against two, adult, consenting relatives having sex, as they're not hurting anyone.
But it's interesting that you would bring up reproduction, because there are quite a few people out there with hereditary diseases that will almost guarantee their offspring a far worse handicap than those of an incestious relationship (keep in mind that most former royals managed to rule entire empires after decades of inbreeding.)
Do you propose forbidding these people from having children as well? Or as we do in regards of incest, forbid them from having sex all together?
I'm not taking any sides on the child issue, just wanting to know what you think about it.
Julian Nikolay Krogh-Fredriksen hick
Shouldve asked them "how many genders exist?".
Oh nah lmaooo
please don‘t
I don't think he has all day for them to explain them all lol
365 genders. 1 for each day of the year. Sometimes, an extra gender on leap years.
Why is your profile picture black?
What led you down that path?
I'm in a relationship with a conservative woman. From my experience, I have seen that conservative women are the best period
@@franminky7763 You are a women of respect lady. Although you should make your workspace work best for you. Strive for equality
Lucky
Making a sexist joke doesn't mean you're sexist
Making a racist joke doesn't mean you're racist
There's a difference between having a laugh and purposely putting someone down
Shhh dude... they can't take common sense
Mads SC StOp YoUr InVaDiNg My SaFe SpAcE
Mads SC except.. it DOES make you a sexist and a racist :)
Nome nome No it does not, it's comedy....get over yourself....
Nome nome how many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None because they'd beat the room because its black. I'm racist now aren't I?
The world isn't a safe place. How do they expect to survive?
Noah Snyder working for Google
this is mostly america
Exactly
Noah Snyder that’s what makes this shit all so funny lolol
Dice Doom yeah one of Many reasons why the world views America as a nut job country
Filmed 3 years ago, and they snowflakes have only gotten worse.....
dalast mag Sooooo much worse! All these damn soy boys, and butch feminists! 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
A new idea for Mark Dice is asking young people what they are doing to decrease their carbon foot print. Its a definitely thing with the young people now..
G S how DAAAARE you!
jk ... actually yes! perhaps create or increase awareness and adjust lifestyles
perhaps
Significantly worse!
dalast mag WORSE than the Alt- Rights!
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?
A: They couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.
Blow me ,TH-cam.
I need a safe space which has no SJW freaks in it
What the fuck is, a safe space? Also, I can tell Louis CK and Bill Burr should stay far away from this place.
me too LMAO, I fucking hate my whack ass generation... very passionately!
Mojo .... under the blankets with the light on and mommy listening on the baby monitor, according to SJW's
xwinglover if a SJW attacks me I'm gonna go, "IM IN MY SAFE SPACE YOU CANT TOUCH ME" then throw my shirt off and run down the street
a rainbow Fishy Make sure you dye your hair bright red and get fat first
0:15 my eyes aren't in a safe space all of a sudden.
Why was the second girl upset about people dressing up when she was obviously dressed like Shrek? Very odd...
Moondog Johansson thought it was a whale.... Fuck I'm blind
She wasn't dressed up as Shrek, that WAS Shrek!
You're making such offensive comments!! I need to retire in my safe space
Sorry? That was a woman?
Are you sure she wasn't dressed as Chris Farley?
I love when he asks if incest is okay and you can tell they don’t wanna say yes but they do anyway🤣
Incest is just plain wrong. Unless, of course, you keep it in the family.
@@ernsttrekiew198 lol 😂
Scared of the real world.
As an 18 year old, I request a safe space from snowflakes
Good for you. At least I now know there's at least ONE sane 18 yr old. Thank God. Stay healthy because the world needs you! Seriously.
I want them to go to their safe spaces so that the real world can be there for real people
Do not ever visit the campus of NYU!!!
Yoda your 1000 years old
@@whiterunguard6202 lol
According to a liberal, "hate speech" happens whenever a conservative tells a truth to a liberal.
That's better than when I tell a "conservative" the truth and they fly into a rage, threaten me and make petty personal attacks on me.
J Shirls - That's an exception. With Liberals, it's the norm.
@@horsesense6173liberals do Not do it all of the time-most liberals I know are very peaceful and empathetic. I've experienced it thousands of times from neocons; I've gotten death threats, threats of violence, slander/character defamation from conservatives. And usually they interrupt and talk over me, shout, point, and make their fists at me before I can even finish my sentences.
J Shirls - Maybe it's you ?
@@horsesense6173 No its not. I dont need you telling me about my experience-i dont judge you as a person cause I dont know you. Shalom
If dueling was brought back, there would be a lot less offended people around.
we need a war. a good war always cuts the bad eggs.
and pussy's prey on their own species.
what planet are you from,just be first to sign up okay.
so stop being offended,
If are country was going down it isn't because the thing's you mentioned. we cant even find some middle ground with all these extremest running around(ON BOTH SIDE'S)
P.S can i come over and shoot my SLR-95 LOL. i saw the shooting vid, NICE!.
I’m Gen Z and don’t censor everything I don’t agree with.
I know, I’m a rare find.
WHAT NO WAY BRO
Woah same
Most gen z don’t give a shit were just depressed anyone agree?
Dude same
I saw a Muslim, Mexican and black guy ice fishing once. They weren't talking to each other. So I thought I'd go over and break the ice.
How was it? I really have no clue what you trie to say
So....you wanted to make conversation? Or drown them?...either way....love the word play!
Time To Its just a clever joke. :P
Derek Fuqua I got that lol...was just having some fun with it!
I don't get it
Here's a joke:
A feminist was working one day...
Pffft, *work*
😚😚😚
@@stomptheshitoutofaconserva2714 Man, that was already lame, and then you added all of that goofy laughing and that just made it cheesy.
But to address your points, yes, cronyism is bad as well as starting wars for profit. What's not bad is trying to suport small businesses that employ millions of people.
😂 Ayyyy!
😂😂😂😂😂
In 1943, a safe space for an 18-25 year old was a foxhole.
jason bourne
nowa days, it SHOULD be an army compound in the middle east, surrounded by high walls and him/her armament. Merica.
jason bourne WELL SAID!!!!
jason bourne Beautifully put. It sucks that I feel that I'm one of the few people that still feel patriotic towards my country and want to join the military. It's just sad, no one cares about others. It's all so selfish, ya know?
WWIIMed18 I completely understand. I applaud your desire to serve. I joined and have been in for 5 years and I plan on re-upping for more. Go for it. You won't regret it. I don't.
Anyone who is easily offended by everything is a gay SJW
I would have walked straight up to her and said: "What's up flapjack?"
Fun bags
Hey! She's proud of those hooters!
Her outfit is unsafe
It needs a safe space from her.
Dixon Cider lol...barf
I identify as a tree, my pronouns are cat, piano and lamp.
Areum Park You're appropriating plants!!
You as well??
Which of the 360 genders do you identify with?
tree lives matter
Areum Park lol
Someday joking is gonna be illegal...
LT.Goldfish 1.0 yeah right down the crapper with free speech and self respect
I hope not. You need to be able to laugh and joke.
Yup coz the worlds full off delicate softies haha
@@classmst89
jokes were born with patriarchy.
Feminists would never find that funny, they'll will be offended when men make jokes.
Men wouldn't laugh at women's jokes either.
When that time comes, we're all fucked
it pretty much already is
0:15 my safe space was invaded when these grotesque things came in to view... I feel violated
I just love how he’s so visibly pissed off at these people
I don't blame him
I know I love it I just subscribed I just found him on TH-cam
I wouldn't say pissed, more like incredulous that anyone could be so dense.
I like his channel but he looks drunk on this one for some reason.
@@dicerosautismambient4894 How could you sit there and listen to their shit without being completely hammered?
One of the best things I did was subscribe to this guy
Well obviously :D
Munky Bidness 👋🏻👋🏻
or is it Bigly? *Illuminati theme music*
*My safe space is uploading videos of my friend drinking toilet water and laughing at people thinking he is disgusting*
Sarah marks the man.
Love the asian dude at 4 mins. IT ALL DEPENDS ON CONTEXT AND INTENT.
marks reply: "you're making this far too complicated". so mark, regarding context is making it "far too complicated" for you? that just means you are fucking stupid
Badicus Vibesimus the asian guy was a little too smart to fall for mark trap lol
It's kinda true tho. I'm fine with sexist and racist jokes but if it's in poor taste and handled badly then it's no longer funny.
He'd make an excellent politician
yes. It does depend. I've been offended by racist and sexist jokes for sure, but it's only when I get the feeling that they're serious about it (in other words, it's NOT a joke in the first place)
Wow, it's Jan 1, 2024 and I had no idea that the brainwashing of these miserable people was so pervasive seven years ago.
Trump needs to put a wall around that, and by that I mean california, land of the deranged.
gorbulas No. We should invade, and take all the liberal pusscakes to a concentration camp where they will learn how to be productive members of society.
gorbulas its spreading faster than herpes in a brothel unfortunately
FFS I live in this place mate, don't doom me to hell on earth.
I love my state. I hate the sjws, but I love my state. And I want to stay in America.
They still have to pay their share of the national debt
starting by reducing 55 electoral seats wouldnt be a bad idea
I identify as a cat, why hasn't there been a public washroom made with a litter box in it for me to do my business.
AngelOfDeath what..
I identify as Asshole who makes transphobic jokes in the comment section of a bull shit video
logan lanphier actually you're the one who's being transphobic, zir, as you are not accepting one of the many genders that exist. You're saying that the feline gender does not exist thus being transphobic. Good day, zir.
Wow my comment is quite redundant.
I identify as an Apache Attack Helicopter. No one wants to respect my gender privilige which is getting a free helicopter pad :'(
"I can't stand half the people around here"
"Me neither"
Hahahaha
Dana Bana
I lived in Carlsbad CA. The same area they are ...I believe Oceanside Beach...and have to say ,coming from the northeast coast, I didn't ever feel like I could assimilate into the California mindset. It was completely foreign thinking that I couldn't bring myself to believe.
Beautiful land....but the people were very one dimensional.
California sucks. Glad I'm back in the NYC area.
0:13- my eyes need a safe space now
I’ve lost so many brain cells listening to their answers.
And you didn't have many to start with.
We have us an npc
can't lose what you don't have hey
I've lost so many braincells looking at everyone arguing over nothing that I needed to be hospitalized in a vegetative state
"I am going to tear down your safe space, brick by brick I shall smash it with glee, no one can stop me from getting inside, I am cold and I am hard and my name.............is Reality"
Some Random Person
Reality is sooooo erfffensssssive. Like, I am sooooo trrriggggerrrred.
Poetic.
Ahhh, classic sp
Some Random Person sounds like a good start to a Pink Floyd song
Hard times create strong men
Strong men create good times
Good times create weak men *< we are here*
Weak men create hard times
and the cycle continues
you sound consevative
@@mikecarter4061
Hard times create real niggas
Real niggas create good times
Good times create weak-ass niggas
Weak-ass niggas create hard times
Degradation over time...
no keep it real....real dumb.
Take the word ..LIKE.. out of their conversation and they have nothing to say.
Funny thing is I always shoot this place up on GTA V..
Same.
Where is it?
Veccpuci Beach?
@@worldsmostretardedperson Yeah, pretty sure it is.
Yes vespucci beach, minigun crowds of the npcs
Self defense lesson for men...
If being attacked by a woman with a knife throw bread meat and mayo At her... Her instincts should kick in and she'll make you a sandwich
I have confirmed that this does indeed work. Thanks brother
O O F
Good one
@Beatriz García Simón yeah, IT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS
😆😆😆😆😆
Safe space is called home, public is not safe get used to it
jlarrymore louder for the people in the back
look at those hangers
The space between their ears are a safe space because there's nothing there.
Lol
Dave run to your safe space !
Dave’s trying to be offensive which violates safe spaces, what a hypocrite.
gogeta69z 😂
Dave you need help I’m not certified to give . 👋🏻
Oh my god that incest one!! I can't believe she said that
KAC3 scary, isn't it? I hate to see how low the age of consent will drop if people continue on these planes of thought
KAC3 probably born out of incest
If you people don't think that that shit already goes on, get your head out of the gutter. Incest happens in every country, especially America.
Zibei Reign my ex-uncle had three kids w/ his cousin, my other cousin screwed his cousin and had a kid. Theres a source for u
These have to be fake. Nobody in their right mind would say that, much less actually have something called a safe space. So dumb. Plus this guy is just a douche.
I'll tell you what isn't safe is her walking around in daylight with that top. Whether i'ts Halloween or not.
That lady could turn Hugh Heffner gay.
That top violated my safe space.
I am so glad.I am a 58 year old guy, who has enjoyed years of sexist, racist and inappropriate jokes. NO harm is meant, but it is such a shame that people are so offended about so little.
As long as it"s not malicious to an individual who can't defend themselves. Get over it
I can no longer tolerate liberalism. It has gotten to the point where their political correctness and being overly tolerant has led to them being okay with downright disgusting and destructive behaviors. This narcissism and self-indulgence needs to stop. We need to learn to be disciplined beings, because when everyone is so self-indulgent, that's when the things that keep our society together start to fall apart - things such as education, health, a strong workforce, and strong family structures. All of those things require hard work, dedication, and discipline - which are traits that the self-indulgent person lacks. Also, this "microaggression" and "safe-space" culture has resulted in millions of people who cannot accept when their candidate loses an election, and just like children, they are acting-out in violent and unreasonable ways.
I guess he need's a safe space. HA!
Well, I do know that none of us who support and voted for Trump cry and whine about being offended and run away seeking 'safe spaces' to escape reality. It is us conservative Trump people who are the ones chasing these weak pansies off to their imaginary safe spaces.
And racist jokes are funny, people need to lighten up. These butthurt people have no sense of humor and must be such a drag to hang out with.
" It is us conservative Trump people who are the ones chasing these weak pansies off to their imaginary safe spaces". Laura Ward.
Yup just about every trump vid is full of you wack job's threatening violence stomping you're feet and huffing and puffing, almost like you do not care about anyone but yourself's, hhmm seems to be the trend here. well feel free to chase me and then face the barrel of my SLR-95(AK 47 ) maybe people are not a as binary as you think.
P.s both candidates sucked.
Hillary ,old and jaded.
Trump, just another Ronald Reagan. but a bit better.
+someone1tohold We don't have to huff and puff and stomp our feet.Cuz we are too busy basking in the glory of our victory. And you're getting the ones threatening violence mixed up.You're complaining about Trump supporters being violent, then threaten violence with your oh so scary AK-47.The hypocrisy is so rampid and absurd that it's become fucking laughable.
they are so liberal and tolerant that they have turned into the most close minded and intolerant people out there.
My friend dressed as hitler in his jewish church party for halloween
Ella Sansolis I'll welcome him in my safe space
Connor lol ok
Ella Sansolis wait don't Jews not go to church
palmtrees bananapants lol ur funny
Ella Sansolis I'm gay too
If sexist jokes are taboo then how about we stop treating men, and depicting them like they are idiots!! I see how my Son's are treated and it makes me mad!
Alright mom, enough computer time for u, lets put away the pc now.
LOL!! A cute and funny way to say you disagree. Its ok to disagree. You made me laugh.😀
I was waiting for him to tell a joke that was derogatory to males and ask if that was acceptable. You and I both know those girls would have had a big laugh and would say that kind of sexist joke is just fine. Same thing with racist jokes against white people, those kind of jokes are what safe spaces are meant for.
Mary Catherine i never said i disagree or agree lol
Yes I know. I said it was a nice way to say you disagree. It was nice to use humor to reply. Too many times people reply saying mean things. I just got a kick out of your humor that you disagree. I wish more people would be funny or kind when disagreeing. PS I'm glad you agree. 🌞
its like toddlers trapped in an adult body
i weep for the future
Which is precisely why they SHOULDN'T have any "right" to VOTE.
@@johnharrison6745 E X A C T L Y
I always thought a "safe space" was somewhere in a public area where kids could go when they got separated from their parents....
You` re too innocent for this world.
Antonio wanna bet?
Eeeeeeh...Define innocent?...
Antonio oblivious to the problems facing modern society. Having been sheltered from anything that may hurt my feelings
Good thing you ain` t innocent then. Especially because of the last part.
I weep for this nation. I WEEP.
Avery Haughwout Why? they do not want whitey to tell his racist jokes,poor baby
He said, 'racist' jokes. That covers all colors dumbshit! Have you ever seen a black comedian, that didn't tell racist jokes about white or Chinese people?
Clinton Satriani The dramaqueen who is weeping for the nation is white and who I was addressing imbecile
Reynold riper
Wow... Talk about being an imbecile.You brought up racism, as if only whites tell racists jokes. I was pointing out that you were wrong and most likely a complete dumbshit
Clinton Satriani No your dumbass I was reacting to the overdramatic idiot above who acts like political correctness is something to weep about
Q: Are you a male? A: depends ummm on context.
gagan hk LMAO
@DOOM KING What's wrong with saying "National"?
😂😂😂😂
Why have biology or facts when you can just have your imagination and context. (Sarcasm)
That question makes me want to kms
Why is it that the people talking about safe space always look the same horrible way. And by "horrible" I don't mean ugly, I mean they literally don't look like anything at all...which is terrifying to me.
that corn fed Idaho dude told it like it is.
Rats tests have shown that large populations in small enclosures increase the occurrence of mental illnesses. Plenty of room in Idaho I bet.
Haha Eastern Washington and Idaho are the realest places in the states
Tom Iac, run to your safe space if you can't handle science.
And that's the thing, 90% of people are like him, it's just that 10% that are sjw and what not that are heard mostly, sadly.
EVERY JOKE IS OKAY. LIKE .. *EVERY* BECAUSE IT IS A *JOKE*
MuffinZ & ToastZ True
MuffinZ & ToastZ some jokes aren't okay tho
+Honey Mew let me guess, the ones that offend you? ;)
Taqiyya is dark and full of taharrush no. The ones that can offend people who have PTSD and have been through awful things
***** Well that's true.
The recommended "safe space" for all women is known as the kitchen. These problems only arise when women stray outside their proper place, which is the kitchen.
Then why are the most noted chefs in the world men?
Because he made a joke smartass
Because if we gave women *only* jobs they were good at, they'd just *sit on the couch* all day.
Nobody said they were good at cooking, but it at least keeps them from screwing everything else up.
mcpeake69 .... Nobody said that women's cooking is the best. Especially these days....
Larry Wolf.... Jinx!!!
0:12 - I don't need a safe space, but, after seeing that outfit, I could use some Visine.
That guy from Idaho spot on. Blonde at end too
The blonde was spot on And Attractive...The other women are Dumb and FUCKING UGLY 👍🇦🇺
My safe space is america, so feminists get out of my safespace.
Nice
*Mexicans
Owlhyzo the world is your safe space!
Pope Francis wow, pope
That blonde gives off a really weird stoner vibe
I noticed that with every woman in this video, they were completely clueless.
She looks really "smart" with her mouth open all the time
I'm pretty sure that's just how they talk, there.
Richard sydnor that's because she's stoned.....
She is absolutely BAKED dude.
6 years ago, and its oh so relevant today.
There is no safe space
The Universe is not a safe space.
The Universe is not a safe space.
Orange Julius Space is pretty dangerous. There's radiation and asteroids and shit.
@RushyG : And it's totally devoid of sound.
@psychotronik13 "When we stopped believing in god we didnt start believing in nothing but rather in anything." - G.K. Chesterton
EVERYONE has a religion ... you just have to identify yours: feminism/social justice, capitalism, vegetarianism/veganism, yoga, ...
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light-bulb? A: Patriarchy!
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light-bulb? A: One. She holds the light bulb in place, and the entire world revolves around her.
We're not allowed to laugh at humans? What, so, we're only allowed to joke about inanimate objects, and maybe animals?..... I hate this world.
you're allowed to but whats the point man.
Dei I mean like why not? Gotta lighten up and have a sense of humour and enjoy life. Life's too short to get hung up over some jokes
srgnt0sprinkles jokes are fine but dont offend for the sake of offending. it just ain't cool. if the other person gets offended that's their problem but life is too important to waste by offending others.
srgnt0sprinkles yea i see what u mean as well. wearing a sombrero like that feminist chick said is not offensive. being too sensitive is as bad as being too offensive. gotta have a balance.
Dei Yeah honestly that's just fucking ridiculous, I just don't know how someone can say with a straight face that Halloween costumes make her feel unsafe. Just feminists wanting everything to be how they like it and wanting everywhere to be a safe space. So glad the feminist movement isn't in my college in Ireland (yet)
My man said "You're still not joking are you? Oh my god." Hes great.
I was at university 10 years ago and I never heard the term _safe space_ whilst there. I cannot express how grateful I am for that fact.
It is a big issue today albeit there seems to be lots of confusion and no set rules,standards and principles as to clearly define, accept and enforce a safe space. We can try to understand people but people have to let us know also that they are not comfortable with an issue. What do you think?
The Beast same here. I also never heard of “no whites on campus” day when I was at college. I guarantee I would have broken that rule. I’ll be damned if a bunch of crybaby blacks tell me I can’t be on a campus THAT I PAID TO BE AT.
dt05 let me tell you few thins about black American "intellectuals." There are almost NONE joining hubs/groups for STEM, maths, engineering, etc. I am an admin for one open-source 3D software that is used for 3D modelling, animation, psychics simulations, VFX, etc. I have seen *NO* black Americans joining our hub. Absolutely *NONE.* Of black members from around the world, I have only Africans with high IQ, good many of them. Many Africans know advanced maths like matrix, as they write maths in node compositing inside software. They showcase their talents, and prove themselves to be many times better educated and smarter than black American intellectuals. They have wider vocabulary and speak better English than black Americans. Another difference, they are more socially advanced as well. They are the new whites of Africa.
The Beast don't leave us here, the safe space is gonna get so big that Ima have to jump on board with Elon to mars and get stoned asf from the second hand smoke. This comment was originally intended to make a serious statement but I trailed off
Also a month late
What is so hideously awful or downright hilarious is that they are totally clueless as how stupid they look and sound. A couple of clowns.
Racist jokes are not funny at all! I had a black guy in my family tree....we had to cut him down.
Ryan Williams lolllll
now that's what I call an Alabama windchime!
Ryan Williams LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
Ryan Williams I bet if you were hit by a bus tomorrow nobody would miss you
youtube commenters = the only place scared white guys can say something without getting killed.
Men fought and died in the first and second world war....for the safe space generation?!
the sad truth
+Sith'ari Azithoth I think fascism won ww2
Mcderple Berry no, freedom did.
+MrZombay All wars have been funded by Busty_Tit69 to make money and sacrifice people to the spaghetti horn
If you wake up tomorrow and discover that everybody in the US is suddenly speaking German, don't be surprised. It only means that somebody has invented a time machine and has sent footage of this to the allied soldiers (and, hell, I wouldn't even blame him for doing so).
For the second person, a safe space is a place is where she doesn't exist. I mean, look at "that", that violates my safe space.
The most deranged generation yet
what about babyboomers? 100 times worse
J H Aye
@@JH-fk8ow I don't know about that.
YES, we ARE the most dangerous generation. Prepare to have your asses kicked, you trump-sucking losers. :-) Mark Dice can go to hell and you all can follow him. And no, assholes, don't bother to respond. You're site is set to DISAPPEAR now. FU
@Mitchell Hart ok boomer
I feel ashamed to be apart of this generation
scott wood your shitty country is so fucked up
Federico Rivarola I know
Federico Rivarola me too
*cough* snowflake *cough*
Why? Some millennial are idiots, you're (presumably) not. Why does shame have to enter the equation?
When I think about 18 and 19 year olds landing at Normandy, being mowed down by machine guns and giving up their lives for freedom, and then see these crybabies who fall apart if they hear something offensive, I literally want to vomit.
Hard times create strong men.
Strong men create good times.
Good times create weak men.
Weak men create hard times.
No Way i love this quote did u come with it or who said that
@@glucoseguardian5744 no clue. Not mine
@@glucoseguardian5744 it's the circle of poo.
Well, most of them didn’t give their lives for freedom really. They got courtmartialed and shot if they didn’t ...
Why do leftists *ALWAYS* look like the thumbnail of this video? 🤔
they truly are walking, talking caricatures.
Im a white latino, can i still wear a sombrero?
negativo, that girl said is wrong! sombreros are evil!
@lanoodin hahaha, beans in a sombrero? that is a new one haha. Saludos desde México rana Rene!
Ianoodin Its not artisitic, just an instagram photo...
Hank Scorpio Latino means from latin america, and white means european ancestry. And so im both
Unknown troll lol
"Joke can't be offensive towards people anymore"
Unless of course... it's someone you don't like.. let's say... President Trump. Then you guys are totally cool with it.
Thank you EXACTLY!!!
Making fun of people of priveleged folks who are assholes is fine yeah. generalising about a whole gender or race. not fine. not rocket science
No we arent joking. We are serious when we say he is a dickhead
If it is a funny joke, but normally Trump is cracking the jokes and the snowflakes cry real tears.
@ki kus yeah and???
All of these people would die first in an apocalypse because they'd commit suicide when a zombie called them the wrong pronoun
i wanna eat his braaiiiinnnns
SJW: "Did you just ASSUME my gender !!!!???"
Jean'nette Nations lmfao
I’m dying
Jean'nette yo lol amazing
the zombies would die first because these people don't have any brains.
We need to shut the collages down. They are going nuts.
These people would not survive MW lobby's, they would cry LMAO.
XD XD
The boys in the mw lobbies be like "please excuse me while I have repeated intercourse with thou mother"
@Haysus Crist lmao
Funny thing actually, this was the generation of "squeakers" in MW2 lobbies lmao
They wouldn’t survive a fucking Fortnite lobby fucking fortnite
There's only one safe space and that's my house.
not at all with those trespasser :c
peter wurst what are you talking about mexicans for? There's more hispanics in the u.s other than mexicans, its always ignorant people blaming mexicans like if that's the only country that has hispanics. 🤔🙄
people have taken their sensitivity to such a high level they literally cannot take a joke.
Danny Kyle dude did you just assume my gender
The Macaroni Chronicles excuse me, but 'dude' is not one of my pronouns.
Danny Kyle Oh my god I am so sorry!
Danny Kyle My pronouns are Macaroni, Cheese, and brrrrrrrrrrrrrrt. just FYI
I sexually identify as a lightsaber, cause those are badass
Mark Dice to the last girl: "You're not from California, are you?" 😂😂
Sexist jokes and/or racist jokes are out, but incest is acceptable??? WTF???
debbie stevens Welcome to the new world run by cry babies and pussies 😕
You heard it right out of the horses mouth itself. Wow. I'm stuck on stun mode. lmfao!!!!!
They are only one more brainfart away from promoting pedos.
The right might have the deplorables but the left is where the fucking degenerates are.
WHAT SOUGHT OF WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN ? ARE SUCH RETARDS ONLY IN CALIFORNIA OR IN NY TOO ?? EXCESSIVE LIBERALISM HAS DESTROYED OUR SOCIETY
everything is acceptable as long as it doesn't violate anyone's rights.
The lady with the pink hair, on the right, is sitting there thinking, "omg shut up" the whole time. lol
Earthling1984 doubt it.
But is it a lady?
axcareka
That's the real question lmao
axcareka exactly. tits not found buddy
It's because he's a man. She's trying not to throw up...
Let me guess, this is California
Yakf15h Correct
Yep that's Pacific Beach
You’re so smart.
Remember that BB song "California Girls"? Yea, I don't either.
no shit