Ex-Inmates, What Was The Stupidest Thing You've Seen A New Inmate Do First Day In Prison?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ต.ค. 2024
- Ex-Inmates, What Was The Stupidest Thing You've Seen A New Inmate Do First Day In Prison?
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Brother was a CO. He said the loudmouths that think they're tough are always the softest and get put in their place. He said it was the quiet squirrely ones that needed to be watched out for. He told me there was this short, 150 lb dorky dude with glasses that kept to himself and was cool and complied with the other COs doing a few months for a DUI and property damage. Anyway, two inmates tried to jump him for supposedly being a snitch or whatever when he was in his cell. Dorky dude had those two other inmates laid out with multiple fractures to where they had to be admitted to the hospital. Come to find out, dorky dude was heavily trained in martial arts and boxing and just made a stupid decision that ended up with him crashing his car. Moral of the story, you're gonna meet someone badder than you are. Stay humble.
Damn even in prison you gotta watch out for the quiet kid🤣
Some of the best advice I ever got as a young man was _"you dont actually know who anyone is, respect everyone first, until they give you a reason not to"_
- foreman i had after i was being mouthy. He then told me about dragging a man in his door jam when a road rager opened his door in traffic, just to teach him a lesson for thinking he has the right to bully my foreman. I have NEVER forgotten that.
He had a lot of good advice actually, here's another he told me when I didnt lock up my belt at the end of the day, i just hung it up because it was wet, and someone stole my titanium hammer after we all left, or in the morning before I got there, pretty sure i know who stole it too, _"if your stuff is in plain view, consider it already stolen and not actually a theft, you lost it for being foolish. Once your stuff is stowed away or locked up, is when it becomes theft."_
I dont quite agree with this one, but he's not wrong either, it's just life experience to know better. The next time I was at my parents' place, I moved all my Dad's tools and junk that's worth a lot from being visible, to not being visible, and even locked the ladders up, because it was easy to do so.
I go by this rule. You're loud and need attention. Unintelligent person probably, but the quiet person who says nothing, just watches and listens. It's the person who you don't mess with.
Never been to jail/prison, but I'd hardly speak to anyone if I did. Would only speak if asked a question, responding to someone greeting me/saying goodbye, apologizing for something, or trying to get medical help for myself or a fellow inmate. I'd also be the inmate that you shouldn't fight with, because I'll do what it takes to defend myself. Would stay away from drugs, gangs, and fights.
Can confirm this. Worked as a CO for about 10 years. The quiet ones were always the ones you kept an eye on. We had a guy in for murder (strangled his wife), and he was loud, and tried to run the dorm. He continually picked on smaller guys (he was about 6’-4” 250lbs). One of the smaller guys went up to him and without saying a word proceeded to beat him unmercifully. He was a former amateur boxer and the resulting beating left the big mouth guy looking like Quasimodo. It was the fastest thing I’ve ever seen, just a few seconds and flurry of unrelenting punches.
Andrew on his way to play the worst games of rocket league imaginable
Glad I'm not the only one that pays attention to the games!
So I wasn't imagining that he sucked at rocket league don't play so it was hard to tell
Made it hard to enjoy the video
@@ryzukumagawa7143 ngl though he plays like Leonardo DaVinci paints compared to me
Yes
I love how a Canadian prison is still more wholesome than society in any other country.
As a Canadian even I was surprised.
By wholesome you mean letting child rapists and murderers free while imprisoning people who defend their children
It's a crime to rape another inmate in Colorado prison.
@@samuelshin593 You're mixing up the shit legal system with the inside of the prisons there
@CITRUS that shit dosent even count as a prison at that point
I spent three weeks in a county jail and absolutely agree that the best advice is to just mind your own business and not act like you're someone you're not. Once the other inmates learned I was in there on a gun charge and nothing sexual, no one had a problem with me and it was a pretty laid back experience. No one cared about my race and I can't say there were any inmates I had a genuine problem with.
I've only stayed a few days in jail but I learned some people will test you. This guy asked if I was gonna give him my food and I said I'd give him anything I didn't care to eat. He basically told me good answer and never asked for my food whenever I got it. I did give him the stuff I didn't care about though out of mutual respect.
Same with me, but after i gave them the stuff i didnt like th5et swapped it for stuff they didnt want cuz of religious of vegetarian reasons. Same with tobacco its like gold in jail, inwas allowed to bring in my tobacco and few things from my personal belongings, and that made life pretty sweet. Plus in Netherlands we were allowed to smoke in our cell. You give the boss guys something to smoke and you get all the coffee and toiletpaper and stuff you need! Just be normal we all need someone too talk to and even bad ass mofos need a friend or a smoke....
@@LordEhademographics are different in the u.s.. it is nothing like the penal system in skandinavia
Did you really just call the Netherlands Scandinavia
@@Pablo-yd6gc ah of course my mistake, how dare I confuse the coastal germans for the swamp germans instead of the valley germans 🙄
Uhm.... Now you are really messing things up...... Dont become a history or geography teacher please!
I've seen that faking a disorder to go to a mental institution is the worst idea as if you got nothing, it's gonna be even worse than prison
Read an article about how our country uses the police to handle mental illness and the consequences of that. One father had his son arrested because he had checked himself out after a 72 hour hold and wanted to get him help. Said it was the worst decision he ever made. The son broke in to the fathers home and took a chef boyardee ravioli can and he was arrested for that as he was ranting about nanotechnology under his skin. He was held by the judge after he was ruled to be incompetent to stand trial and was to be remanded for psychiatric care.
Of course, that didn’t happen. He was put in solitary as most of the people with severe mental illness usually are because they don’t follow stupid rules. But he decompensated to the point the guard told his father that it was pointless to visit because he wouldn’t recognize him. He spent over 600 days like this “waiting for a bed” in a facility, but once a story ran they magically found a bed the next day. His father said it was the biggest regret of his life.
They do most medical testing on mental patients since they are state property. It is done more nowadays since the government stopped medical testing as much on the soldiers. The u.s. military accounted for 85% of human testing at one point.
If you aren't crazy going in you probably will be by the time you get out
They say that so you will not seek the coddling you will get at the psych shop!
See "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" for details.
Young Native American kid's first day at Max security prison. His cellmate, a big older black dude, starts talking about how pretty the kid is and how that night he's going to "R" him, etc etc...
Door unlocks, older dude lays down for a nap. Kid goes to another cell, and uses a borrowed crock pot to *boil a full bottle of baby oil.*
Calmly walks back to his cell, and pours the entire pot of boiling oil on his sleeping would be R'ist's head.
...they had to life-flight the dude out of prison in a helicopter.
Seen him come back a couple years later. ... nothing like a melted head to teach you not to threaten and underestimate people like that.
😂
The kid:🗿
@@DJmistic7Natives are stoic asf
@@Dreosaurus it doesn’t, so get that chip off your shoulder and move on
using diddys own weapon against him :)
Most prisoners, including the hardest ones don't give a damn what you did or who you did it to, the only thing they care about is if you're weak or you fight, kill, or smuggle, if you can't do one of these three things you have no friends and if you're weak (which child rapists tend to be) with no friends you wont last.
unless its to do with children, i think its a universal thing around all prisons worldwide
that is mostly hollywood . They just don't care unlessif you are a kid diddler or woman rap3r
also women. prisoners have been murdered for targeting women
Most prisoners *hate* child rapist or rapist or SA’s however sometimes if it’s like a fight with a woman I don’t think they’ll care
@@RaspberryHugs nobody cares about women anymore. Its just children.
My Grandpa was a C.O. and he had a prisoner set fire to his matress in order to get all the guys on that block to have their doors open to evacuate. Anywho my Grandpa walks right up to the cell and the guy said "hey you got to evacuate me!" And my Grandpa replied "you're smart enough to start a fire, I'm sure you're smart enough to put it out." And carried on with his day.
Fuckin savage.
😂😂😂
Do they have sinks in prison cells?
@@arianebolt1575some do, on top of the toilet
Yeah but they suck and definitely dont give enough water to put out a fire @arianebolt1575
I love all of the prison professors offering their expertise and "the rules" I did a couple years minded my business didn't disrespect anyone zero problems
You must have been in a minimum security prison. Because I started in max, then I got shipped to medium, where they call it gladiator school.
I tried my best to do my time, go to school, participate in anger management classes, and I was still forced into fights that I didn't ask for.
I won several, and lost several. It's difficult to defend yourself against two people in a tiny cell. But never was I sexually assaulted. Nor was anyone else sexually assaulted. As it's a serious crime to rape another inmate in Colorado state prison.
@@shawntilton9170 it's horrible to rpe anyone period
@@aliliz7204 I don't know personally but crimes aren't viewed the same in prison homie. Laws outside aren't laws inside
@@10thletter40
The laws are the same, but the rules are different. There are rules by the prison, and rules by the inmates.
If you stab someone, regardless if you kill them, you will be taken to solitary confinement, and either be sent directly to maximum security, or the local jail in the county of the prison, where you will be formally charged, and likely wait to be convicted. And if they can't take you to the local county jail, you'll be kept in solitary confinement, until your sentenced or found innocent.
I do know, because I've seen it happen.
@@aliliz7204 do you think they cared? The only reason they didnt do it was because the risk:reward where risk outweighs the reward
I spent a week in county jail for a driving offense
Doing chores, the door wouldn’t close correctly
The jailer comes to the window saying the door isn’t closed
I replied ‘’Don’t tell me we’re stuck in here!’’
Long pause, laughter from everyone else,and a mild glare 😂😂😂
You're the kind of guy that makes the pen bearable, or any situation for that matter, cheers m8 🤣
@@MSP_ yup, they need them
Would you say that was worthit to pay off the ticket? Like im being so fr rn i got no money lol
Lol, that's pretty great
Imagine getting punished for laughing at a fart, I mean, come on.
Please, as if you can handle, even a fraction of my power. 🗿 *BRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPP*
Rules of prison you need to know to survive: if you did anything illegal to a child, you are dead.
includes drug deals right?
Lmao yeah sure. Thats why we can all google the sor and see hundreds of them around us huh? Lmao tough guy delusion.
@@jayblack9871 What?
@@LemoneVRyou can search for sex offenders in US and see literally where they live.
@@LemoneVR How do SOs get out of prison if they're all dead?
Didn't see the incident but saw the consequences.
Guy I knew thought the old fairy tale about "you find the biggest meanest man on the yard and knock his ass out" was true
I saw the photos that were taken at hospital, turns out swinging on a convict twice your size is pretty bad for your health 🤕🤒
There’s a reason why their the biggest and meanest guy in jail😂
Don't forget that big huge mean looking guys are also often in a gang.
💀
Now that I think about who ever said that probably never got locked up 🤣
Basically, don't even consider rocking the boat before you know the boat, or you'll end up swimming with sharks.
Let’s be honest the best thing to do when sent to prison is just keep your mouth shut,follow the rules and keep to yourself.
It's like life everywhere, really: zip your mouth shut, prop your eyes and ears open, and do your damndest to stay away from trouble, coz if you want it, you're for sure gonna find it with free second servings.
That stupid guy ironman remix absolutely killed me from laughter, I wasn't expecting that, it just killed him not from laughter.
fr that shit was funny, i'm not gonna lie when it said ' until some guy tripped him' i burst out laughing.
I may be 25 but I’ll always have the sense of humor of a 9 year old
@@stupid4867
“When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” ― C.S. Lewis
"In Canada we don't rape people in prison. It was my first day and I didn't know this golden rule" Thought that one was going somewhere dark
canada is india today so dont expect that rule to hold up even cows arent safe in india
In my 5 year visit to Colorado Department of Corrections, I learned that there are separate laws and rules. Laws and rules from the correctional facility, and laws and rules amongst inmates.
Colorado prisons have a severe punishment for the rape of another inmate. You are not allowed to touch a rapist or child molester.
Most chomos spend their time in PC.
If another inmate has their food or drink in the gen pop microwave, you don't fucking touch it, and you don't fucking walk away from it. Both outcomes will be an automatic fighting challenge. And you have to respond to the disrespect you have just received.
I saw a new booty get stabbed to death, because he removed a burrito of a 2x killer, who had just been approved for parole and mandatory release. This guy was at home in prison and didn't want to go.
So this new booty gave him the excuse to pick up another murder charge.
I've never seen something so violent in my life. He was slinging that dude's blood everywhere. I was one table away, and had blood all over me, that the guards thought I had also been stabbed.
Everyone was ordered to the ground, and a rubber ball explosion went off next to them, peppering a bunch of us.
I got out on Jan 4 2004, and I still have one of the rubber balls that I grabbed off the floor.
I've sense never gotten in trouble for anything. Not even a speeding ticket. And I have several fulltime law enforcement friends who know that I did time, but I have fought to make a good name for myself.
For those of you who are active criminals, it's not worth the loss of time, friends, family or everything you have built for yourself.
I find this incredibly sad; what a waste of two lives 😕
i was making a delivery to a tractor store.The guy i was delivering to used to be a guard at a federal prison but lost his job when he was beaten so badly that his kidneys quit functioning.He complained about his fellow guards abandoning him when he called for help.Shift change and his replacement told me dont have any sympathy for the guy.He brought it on himself.He used his position as a guard to cause trouble between inmates then he would call for help.After months of this his coworkers told him"one more time and were not coming to your aid"obviously they meant it
😂👍
My dad was in prison when he got a new cell mate, dude was telling my dad something about my dad going to bashed next (my dad was in for sleeping with a minor he picked up from a bar and the other guy was there for sleeping with over 100 kids since he was a babysitter)
My dad beat the absolute sh!t outta him, guards got there after a while. My dad walked out asking the guards if he was in trouble and they basically said he wasn’t cause they wanted to that themselves
Why does your dad hate pedophiles when HE himself slept with a child?
@@thedesensitizedsympathizer5307 because the one he picked up was 1. At the bar at the time when he picked her up (since your a kid I’ll explain that to be in the bar you must be 18 years old) so she lied about her age
2. She slept with 4 other guys and put them into jail all for a 20K pay out each time (my dads the 5th guy she’s done this to)
3. She tells everyone she’s 18 on all her socials and says she’ll sleep with any one for some green (she done this during the court case between my dad and her which is being used as evidence against her)
So in other words my dads the victim here and she’s the one purposely sleeping with older guys lying to them about her age
@@thedesensitizedsympathizer5307 there’s a big difference between ped0’s purposely sleeping with children and guys that got tricked into sleeping with a teenager
@@Tyreker well tell your dad that I'm calling him a hypocrite and would love to give him a piece of my mind
@@thedesensitizedsympathizer5307 you don’t see the flaw in your thinking do you?
So if you goto the bar/club one day and pick up a 17 year old chick telling everyone that she’s 18 and sleep with her. Does that make you a hypocrite even tho you were the one that was lied to?
Lesson 1 in prison, watch what shoes people are wearing. If flops are on it’s going to be chill but if boots are on then we’ll get ready
Mexican got on boots
@@prisonmike8214 lmao
Now I'm going to have the Iron Man parody stuck in my head all day, thanks.
lol I know right. Today at work I literally had to stop myself several times from singing that shit out loud. Especially near one of my black coworkers.
“We don’t know or agree with him”
Me: please don’t take away our commissary, I just got it 😅
Even in county jail rapist or anyone who victimizes a child get's hurt. I had ninety days in Maricopa County and it was a great. Literally the best time of my life. You have to chose your gang on day one and its by race. You have no choice and will have to be jumped out of your race if you wanted to join another. I became the head of the woods (white gang) after 30 days because I was respectful and helped out. I was also given the title of honorary Paisa (Mexicans from Mexico gang) after 14 days so I got the greatest hooch for free every day. Being head Wood meant that I had "torpedo's" which is big ass-kickers who settle issues of violence on behalf of your race. Never used them. I have never been in a fight or been violent. On my 50th day, a new terrifying-looking white guy came in and called me a bitch. Big no-no and being head of the woods I had to deal with it. Went into the bathroom and thought to myself "I had better fight like my life depended on it". My arm length make it so easy and I regretfully put him in medical. Anther wood who was looking at ten years took the fall for me out of respect! From that moment on my nickname was karate kid. Jail shouldn't be fun and I am sure it's not for most. I consider myself very lucky because I don't look tough at all.
Respect for Anther Wood
🙄
R/that happened
You are full of it. I did two rounds in Maricopa County and it's nothing. It's jail. You stay in Pods and there is no recreation outside or mess hall. Everyone stays in their pods and pods hold about 30 cells. People separate by race in the pods when it comes to playing cards, chatting, or eating but that's about it. There's very little violence because you're so closely supervised. That's why people say that prison is better than jail, you have more freedom in prison. You have a yard, sports, rec, classes, jobs, etc. in prison but in jail you just sit in your cell or go out to your pod to watch tv or play cards. You're trying make jail into some sort of tough prison that you saw in movies. You're full of it. You're not going to be an 'honorary Mexican' and beat up white guys enough to put them in the hospital and have someone else take a fall for it. You've been watching too many movies. The guards are right there in front of you all the time, they see what is going on. It's jail, not prison. You're exactly the kind of punk who would get his ass beat when you arrive at prison. All talk, all BS, but you can't back it up, punk.
Uh huh huh 'wood'
Telling a new guy to put his name down for the swimming, a new guy saying he couldn't be locked behind his door because he had claustrophobia, he wanted the door left open and he promised he wouldn't leave the cell. A new guy saying to screws he worked in kitchens outside and was going to get his certificates sent in to prove it because he wanted to serve the food out on the hotplate. Probably many more I could remember but that's what springs to mind.
OK the Ironman one was 😂. Can't even imagine the complete disbelief on everyone's faces
"While your sexuality may not be an issue outside of prison" is a wild way to start a sentence
A guy was “jokingly” calling guys chomo in the brig who were there for minor offenses and he was dealt with roughly
That was just asking for it.
Why do prisoners hate pedophiles while actual devils not care. Is there ANY place on earth where you could talk about pedophilic stuff and people wouldn't mind?
@@thedesensitizedsympathizer5307 name checks out.
@@sphereyahya ong
@@thedesensitizedsympathizer5307hell
Poor Gentle Giant :( I hope his legs are better now
He beat up Big Hug Bill!
@@Burningflame97 GET HIM
6:06 Steel toed boots?! I was a CO and _we_ weren’t even allowed steel toes because it was considered a deadly weapon. I was thinking, “if I’m in a position to be putting these to someone’s head it’s going to be a life or death situation anyways.”
“I am n***** man, running through the hood from the ku klux klan.”😂
I was laughing so hard woke up the guys in the room next to me
8:37 rage quiter 😂
0:16 once someone in my family *I forgot who it's an old story* was 12 years old he was walking down the sidewalk and the hells angels were driving by. But he forgot THAT HE HAD HIS HITCH-HIKING SIGN OUT so there he was with the leader saying wanna ride sonny boi and he tried to say no but they kind of forced him. Anyways the leader said ever used a motorcycle? and he said no but I've used a scooter and the leader said it's a bit different. Then they took him to where he had to go. He said they were pretty nice to him though. This story is like at least 40 years old.
Honestly biker gangs are mostly pretty great people. They have A LITTLE BIT of a violent side, but if you act reasonably and treat people well they're very unlikely to target you. Also, to clarify: they don't actually have to kill someone to earn their jacket, they just have to take an oath that they are willing to and be believed.
Stupid thing I saw in prison of a new inmate was asking where the hairdresser was. Young girl, who was a mummies girl.
Do u remember what she was in for?
The prison where I worked was a women's unit. We actually had hairdressers! Women who were certified hairdressers before and generally behaved cut the ladies' hair. The state required that it not be longer than shoulder length.
Guys first time ever locked up for anything. Good guy kept to himself barely spoke much English but no problem. He went to take a shower and slipped out of his shower shoes because he “didn’t want to get them wet” we had to break it down to him that that is what they are for lol. Another guy from awhile back was mentally off and plugged the shower drain so he could take a bath. With the tile entrance there’s a step that basically keeps about a little less or more than a foot. He took his bath and got out. About a day later he starts scratching his legs and balls nonstop. He ended up getting some form of athletes foot all over his balls and upper legs. You could walk by his cell and he would be putting layer after layer of lotion on trying to calm it down. That’s why you need shower shoes because of all the bacteria and viruses you can catch. Probably catch an STD from it as well.
It's very depressing how disgusting our prisons are in every sense of the word
That is nasty shit
@@hanast.claire2546 well here’s the thing dude. You have hundreds of thousands of people coming in and out and a lot of them were in some absolutely atrocious living conditions that basically led them to getting busted. You have all these guys using all the appliances and showers and trays and cleaning supplies and sharing everything. You can only use so many of the top shelf chemicals to kill that Bacteria before it eventually grows immune to those said chemicals. And they don’t wash those trays cups and sporks all that great either and they get traded out to a different person sometimes several times a day every day at every meal.
@@hanast.claire2546 you are not supposed to have this many guys living together in a crowded space for long periods of time it’s just begging for problems to happen. How the system thinks it works and operates is alright is beyond me. It’s just a racket protected by the state and government
@@killeanmcchesney5138 Is your alternative to not have prisons at all?
I a corrections officer at the time was listening in to a private conversation between two inmates ,who where involved in a loan shark operation. The older boss of the arrangement was ridiculing the younger ,a rather robust looking individual about letting the client,a rather smaller individual,saverly kick his assets.
It's not always the toughest looking of the bunch that carry the weaght.
This girl thought she was this bad ass because she had been charged with battery on a Leo among other things and she tried acting like she was happy to be back and tried getting other inmates to hand over their commissary. Basically just being a bully. Well the COs weren't happy to see her already foraging relationships with inmates strictly to manipulate them so right after classification she was put into solitary for her own safety. When they were asking her to get her stuff we could hear her screaming a bunch and we all had a collective laugh....
You look tough 😎
@@NAT-turners-Revenge yes, very tough indeed. My nickname in the joint was the bricklayer. It was on account of my culinary skills. I could do some amazing things with a cup soup and some cheese sauce😆
Okay. That Iron-Man parody one was pretty good.
At least some prisoners have morals
1:05 Idk where this Reddit lore about prisons came from, but there are tons of violent offenders that will beat a woman or child and nobody is batting an eye about it in prison.
It’s a cope ex prisoners use to make out like they are halfway decent human beings instead of dysfunctional weak mediocre
I love how even for prison inmates, there are some lines that are not meant to be crossed. Now don't get me wrong, people who entered prison for violence, murder, heists, and stuff like that are evil, and I don't dispute that, but I feel like I can rest easy knowing that even they won't stoop down to the realms of child predators, and if there's one that was caught, the predator would be crippled or dead the minute they entered the general prison complex.
the inmates are monsters when they hurt child predators
It only happens if they don't shut up about it though.
Only time you should fight while your locked up is if someone try’s to test you if you let them beat you up your a target for your food ,commissary ect, you atleast try to fight and pass (even if you get your ass beat ,take it) then they won’t really bother you.
It's like any predator attack to be honest. Prove that you will at least make it slightly difficult for them and it's probably not worth their effort and you'll likely be left alone for the most part, unless you have something they really want.
Few things are a bigger head fuck than massive, other side of planet, "it's a small world" type stuff. I remember when I was a kid with my parents in Spain we ran into our next door neighbor on the street in Barcelona. Used to seeing her all the time so when we first walked by each other my mom and dad are like, "Hey Susan. Having a nice day?" Took us a second to realize we weren't seeing her outside our homes but on the other side of the planet. Neither of us even knew the other was going to be in Spain. It was a trip.
I Know i shouldn't of laughed at 5:02 but the way it was sang by andrew just broke me.
I can't stop laughing because I'm trying to imagine everyone's disbelief and because I can't understand why he thought it would be a good idea to do that. xD
"shouldn't have", not "shouldn't of". Only stupid people make this stupid mistake.
I'm impressed that the reader knows how the Houston gang pronounces their name. Most people would naturally assume it is pronounced the same way as the city
Ah, you answered the one question I had, which was, "wtf is he saying it like that". 😂
Well and in Texas they say "Youston". The H is basically silent.
These stories illustrate why the prison system needs to be reformed.
Or not. Maybe we need societal reform so people can have some self control and stop themselves from going to prison. Not committing felonies is actually really easy, believe it or not.
@@grantwiler7898 Innocent people go to prison and jail all the time.
If you’re arrested by a crooked cop and can’t afford bail, you’re stuck in jail until your hearing (which can take years).
If you are told to confess to a crime you didn’t commit for a lighter sentence, you go to prison.
Cops are scum.
@@matthewbergman6803 in an innocent until proven guilty system this doesn't happen near as often as you think. Fact of the matter is, prison is a punishment, not a vacation. No one cares what happens to you in prison.
@@grantwiler7898 We don’t live in that system, contrary to popular belief.
We live in a system where if you have money, you can afford a good lawyer, not one who will tell you to take a plea deal to avoid trial.
Idrk about that. It's incredibly easy to avoid going to prison and getting felonies, so the people who do these things are just horrible people and I don't see why they should have it easy. Like the other person said, prison is a punishment not a vacation. People don't need to have an easier time in prison, it is used as a way to deter people from doing anything to get imprisoned in the first place. Obviously it isn't bad enough if people are still stupid enough to commit the worst crimes known to man. It seems bad enough for ME to stay out, but others see it as almost a rite of passage for whatever reason.
Real narrator and not a bot. Good Channel
It's disturbing how some descriptions of these prisoners make them sound more like beasts than men. Then again, there's a reason they are in prison...
Being locked up tends to do that to anyone.
13:17 this reminds me so much of cyanide and happiness big hug bill
Ok, the Iron Man thing did make me laugh. That's like GenX humor, right der. You gotta wonder if that dude had Tourette's or was schizophrenic or bipolar.
did you mean *"Gen Z humor?"*
I figured someone talked him into it
The guy that went to solitary sounds like a genius. Scariest thing about going to prison is over prisoners.
The HAs duct taping a guy has to have been the most harmless thing they've done to a person.
Ignoring the real monsters in jail, it super scares me how many of these stories are openly about killing or nearly killing someone in our prisons, and next to nothing about programs to help them become better people..
look up 'penal labour in the united states'. there's a lot of money tied up in the prison "industry" that relies on keeping the prisons full. that's why.
@@Shiruvi I’m aware, but to fix that the prisons need taxpayer money, and people are stingy, even when the investment will literally save them money on the long run and improve the town. When Covid first started my local prison asked for extra money so they could prepare and were told no. Everyone in the prison became sick and they needed to let people out to bring down the prison’s population density, then people complained that they hadn’t been prepared for Covid. (I don’t like that taxpayers have this amount of power and ignorance..)
@@FurryEskimo then take the power away from the taxpayer and give it to the worker.
@@vixen878 How would that fix anything about the prisons? Regardless of who’s paying or in charge, people generally don’t like programs that benefit criminals, especially in America.. The workers in prisons are reported to beat the prisoners they don’t like, they would also have biased opinions and policies on how the work/money should be handled. Imagine if they decided to cut funding for heat/air conditioning for the prisoners they dislike? (Oh, wait, no, they already do that. Dang, we have a legit problem..)
@@FurryEskimo by workers i mean collectively. Only those who work in a job may decide, not the ones on pension or college etc. Political power to the only people who matter.
As for the prisons, they should be turned into those we see in Norway or sweeden forcobly amd private prisons (and all private property) should be abolished and taken over by the state. No one can say or do anything about this with a fully unionised workforce.
I did 10 years. LOTS of funny memories of new or just dumb convicts doing ridiculous shit. We once told a newbie to let the C.O. know he wanted to sign-up for the pool if he wanted to swim during rec. We explained that the pool was on the roof of our dorm. Some people are just unbelievably gullible, lol. The funniest part was the C.O.'s reaction when the newbie actually went over and asked for the sign-up sheet for Pool Rec. That's by no means the funniest or most absurd memory I have, but it's a quick one to write out here.
story 7 got me cracking up like crazy around 5am PST on a saturday morning (i'm an ADHD autistic early bird. go ahead and judge me) with that iron man parody.
12:28 I haven't been to prison but I can agree from experience, how messed up it is to be stuck in a mental hospital, especially the two acute bridge units.
It is a very violent place to be.
Isn't prison supposed to be about rehabilitation at least according to State myth? Seems to me if you survive you have shut down emotionally become hardened if not insane more of a danger.
I've never seen anything wild while I was locked up, but that was because being chill was a universal rule known to the area I was in when dealing with the jails and prisons.
Guys will absolutely fk with you sometimes but it took something extra to get taught your place. Everyone generally just wants peace, a good laugh, and any food you don't want to finish.
I really hate it when they put ones in there that just drone on and on. The two british guys in bankok could have been about 2 minutes shorter
🎵"Two guys in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble....Bangkok, the oriental city but the city doesnt know what the city is getting..." 😂
Sorry, that song completely went through my head during the entire story
Welcoming sausage from guards!!!!!! 😂😂😂 guards wasnt happy! Solitary he went
No matter who you are if you go to prison and your asked to translate… be sure your in for a great time. 😂
I was a sergeant in florida state for 8 years. You really do see some crazy shit, these stories were pretty tame.
Can you share one?
@DJShire When I get home from work I'll copy/paste a reddit post I made a few months ago about the sickest thing I ever seen.
@@DJShire_ATL Back in 2018 my prison had an elderly inmate in an SHOS (Self harm observation) cell because he had scabies and it was bad. He was elderly, if I remember correctly he was about 75 years old and what made his case of scabies so bad was him having a weakened immune system. I don't know how or why this happened but he sat in that SHOS cell for over a month and of course no one ever did anything about his condition. I didn't even know he was back there until my first interaction with him.
He was conscious but not really mentally present. All he could do was moan in pain.
His skin was brittle and was textured like corn flakes. His whole body. Anywhere on his body where his skin was supposed to have any flexibility, there were deep red fissures separating the two plates of corn flakish skin. His eyebrows, his lips, his fingers, his knees, the palms of his hands, his toes, all brittle with deep red lines that were bleeding and leaking a strange fluid. Parts of him would break off as we moved him around trying to place him on the stretcher. One of the EMT's that showed up commented that he was leaving a trail of bread crumbs everywhere he went. Literally if you were to drag the palm of your hand over any part of this inmates body, you would see particulate floating trough the air because just a light touch like that would create a cloud of it.
He obviously had to go out to a hospital and I drew the short stick on my shift ending up being one of the two officers that had to go with him. I rode in the ambulance. After doing whatever an EMT does, the guy in the back of the ambulance with me decided he needed an IV to get hydration, so he tried finding a way to put the IV in. His skin was too dry to hold a needle, it would just slip out of him as soon as the EMT let go, I'll never forget the EMT looking at me and saying " Watch this! " with a silly smile on his face. He reached down into one of the compartments in the back of the ambulance and pulls out a power drill. Places the drill up against the inmates shin and literally drills a hole into this guys leg, then hooks the IV up that way. The inmate let out a pretty audible cry of pain but otherwise did not seem aware of his surroundings.
We get to the first hospital and sit there with the inmate for a while, nurses come in and do their thing. I noticed that none of them were wearing gloves so I would try to warn them that he had scabies but they disregarded anything I had to say. One of them actually looked at me and said that there is 'no way' this is scabies. I just shrugged. Nothing I could say would convince them otherwise. Funny story, one of these nurses was the wife of one of my coworkers. He actually got pretty pissed at me, because his wife ended up with scabies after this and he blamed me for not saying something.. which I did. The medical staff at this hospital also tried putting an IV in this inmate but nothing would work because their needles would literally just droop and fall out of him the second they let go. They ended up cutting into his neck, I guess to get to an artery. That worked. Some time passes and I guess they realized they were not equipped at this hospital to deal with this problem, so off we go to the second hospital.
I've already given you guys a small book to read about this experience so I'll wrap it up. We get to the second hospital, they put this guy into quarantine. Anyone that comes through is wearing fully protective hazmat like clothes. They took his temperature with a rectal thermometer and it was something like 84 degrees. His skin was in such bad shape it was not holding his body heat in. They hooked him up to some kind of incubator blanket with a hose blowing hot air into it, then a few moments later.. he died.
If you want an idea of what his skin looked like, search for Norwegian scabies. You will see images of a hand, or a foot, some of them pretty bad. This inmate? Worse than anything google will show you. And it was his whole body, not just a foot or hand.
@@Megaman8880 you never did sir
@Asterite I must have foforgotten. Here you go.
Back in 2018 my prison had an elderly inmate in an SHOS cell because he had scabies and it was bad. He was elderly, if I remember correctly he was about 75 years old and what made his case of scabies so bad was him having a weakened immune system. I don't know how or why this happened but he sat in that SHOS cell for over a month and of course no one ever did anything about his condition. I didn't even know he was back there until my first interaction with him.
He was conscious but not really mentally present. All he could do was moan in pain.
His skin was brittle and was textured like corn flakes. His whole body. Anywhere on his body where his skin was supposed to have any flexibility, there were deep red fissures separating the two plates of corn flakish skin. His eyebrows, his lips, his fingers, his knees, the palms of his hands, his toes, all brittle with deep red lines that were bleeding and leaking a strange fluid. Parts of him would break off as we moved him around trying to place him on the stretcher. One of the EMT's that showed up commented that he was leaving a trail of bread crumbs everywhere he went. Literally if you were to drag the palm of your hand over any part of this inmates body, you would see particulate floating trough the air because just a light touch like that would create a cloud of it.
He obviously had to go out to a hospital and I drew the short stick on my shift ending up being one of the two officers that had to go with him. I rode in the ambulance. After doing whatever an EMT does, the guy in the back of the ambulance with me decided he needed an IV to get hydration, so he tried finding a way to put the IV in. His skin was too dry to hold a needle, it would just slip out of him as soon as the EMT let go, I'll never forget the EMT looking at me and saying " Watch this! " with a silly smile on his face. He reached down into one of the compartments in the back of the ambulance and pulls out a power drill. Places the drill up against the inmates shin and literally drills a hole into this guys leg, then hooks the IV up that way. The inmate let out a pretty audible cry of pain but otherwise did not seem aware of his surroundings.
We get to the first hospital and sit there with the inmate for a while, nurses come in and do their thing. I noticed that none of them were wearing gloves so I would try to warn them that he had scabies but they disregarded anything I had to say. One of them actually looked at me and said that there is 'no way' this is scabies. I just shrugged. Nothing I could say would convince them otherwise. Funny story, one of these nurses was the wife of one of my coworkers. He actually got pretty pissed at me, because his wife ended up with scabies after this and he blamed me for not saying something.. which I did. The medical staff at this hospital also tried putting an IV in this inmate but nothing would work because their needles would literally just droop and fall out of him the second they let go. They ended up cutting into his neck, I guess to get to an artery. That worked. Some time passes and I guess they realized they were not equipped at this hospital to deal with this problem, so off we go to the second hospital.
I've already given you guys a small book to read about this experience so I'll wrap it up. We get to the second hospital, they put this guy into quarantine. Anyone that comes through is wearing fully protective hazmat like clothes. They took his temperature with a rectal thermometer and it was something like 84 degrees. His skin was in such bad shape it was not holding his body heat in. They hooked him up to some kind of incubator blanket with a hose blowing hot air into it, then a few moments later.. he died.
If you want an idea of what his skin looked like, search for Norwegian scabies. You will see images of a hand, or a foot, some of them pretty bad. This inmate? Worse than anything google will show you. And it was his whole body, not just a foot or hand.
13 was the most Canadian Prison story ever.
Time out Cuhz was singing What ??? 🤧🤣 IK THEY BEAT HIS AHH 🤣🤣🤣
As a Black man 5:28 got me rolling on the floor 🤣🤣🤣
Apparently if a rapist goes to jail the other inmates will do what they did to other people
Most people who get locked up just want to do their time and get out. Run your program and you be okay. If you get into the gang stuff and start gambling and doing drugs, expect your own people to dole out the punishment. Respect is the name of the game in there. Respect is earned by showing it, and not given. Follow the written and unwritten rules, you be okay.
Lmao I was detoxing pretty hard from being a dumbass and really out of it but other inmates were tryna get me to eat cause I hadn’t in like a week and my cellmate told a guard my situation and he gave me two soups and I was so grateful though I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat it yet lol…. An uhhh yea…..
I asked the guard if there was a microwave 😆 which he just laughed his ass off
Lying, guy comes in lying off the bat. Lied about being a CO and being in the military. Got called out by a CO who actually was in the military and got called out from people who knew him from the outside about not working as a CO. Goes to his arraignment the next day and lies about a CO letting him smoke a cigarette.
Not only this, but tells everyone his business. Has the audacity to shit in the shower too. Just overall a weird guy. The amount of times this guy almost got his ass whopped or put on the door was insane.
There was another dude who put KKK on his jumpsuit. He wasn’t in the dorm I was in, but when I went to court, people were talking about it when we were all in the holding cell with him.
great video keep it up man❤
honestly that last story was beyond satisfying. if you do something people will commonly beat ur ass for never tell them a weakness easily used against you ☺️
I would hate to be the guy in story number 11, imagine taking survival advice only to get more time served!
Hilarious 😂
US prisions sound so cozy and inviting!
the voice sound like it giving a middle school presentation but was the person who didn't do anything and showed up late for it and has to go off the notes because they're not sure what tf they're doing
15:09 and then the prison clapped.
I asked this to my husband who has been to prison, he said "Someone actually went and asked for their F-15-H form. We felt kinda bad for him after"
I was so confused and had to ask him to explain it to me.
WTF is the F15H ?!
@@1yoan3 Fish. Fresh meat.
A little prank on the harmless side to go tell the guards hi Im the fresh meat pretty much
@@lalaonsixthh1809 hahah got it
A test question a gang gave, you and another member are in the yard it's raining only you have an umbrella what do you do, the only acceptable answer was drop the umbrella and stand with him in the rain. Sharing the umbrella was weakness, using alone was disloyal. If the gang didn't take you in at that point ur labeled no good, not necessarily w snitch but not a good con.
5:26 bro what lmao I was just listening to that song
not me paying attention to the backround
frrr game play been pissing me off missing all those easy shots
@@dumbbiiihh1204 exactly
IKR
In Fishkill Correctional Facility, NY, cat came in and said he was running the dorm from now on. Found out in seconds he wasn't lol, that was one of the craziest beatings I ever seen haha
:0 first also love your videos man
12:52 reminds me of the quote from saw "once you're in hell, only the devil can help you"
When I do that robbery, I'll make sure not to do these things
"You are violating my human rights!"
My man, this is prison. In THAILAND.
19:00
big mistake, if theres a white guy in a group of black guys, you know hes tough shit. That guy had to do some crazy shit to get the respect of the others.
that was a good bit by Dave Chappelle
"...he is the most dangerous motherf**cker in the group!"--Dave Chappelle talking about a white dude in a group of black crips/bloods
You know what, this was one reddit-rip video that I enjoyed listening to since it wasn't an uglly text-to-speech. My only other wish would be for the original text to be on screen instead of what I assume was auto-captions, but overall great job. Your voice had good inflection and a consistent sense of tone.
The first wrong thing they’ve done is go to jail in the first place ?
Bro shut up
nah you got way to go
We somehow convinced this poor kid that we get to go fishing on Sunday's. He made a sign up sheet and gave it to the guards. We about died, he did not live that one down.
I saw a guy who came in running his mouth all day long get punched his first week in.. 1 hit KO and he literally hit his butt and slid like 10ft across the floor and had an Apple sized cheek for the next ~10 days.
That version of the Black Sabbath song caused me to break a rib from laughter.
I would’ve been impressed by Canada’s prison system if their new M.A.I.D program didn’t drive me to tears with its inhumanity. Ever since learning more about it, I can’t look at that country the same. It’s so much worse than “just” an Assisted Suicide service.
Genuinely curious, but why is it inhumane?
I dont know a whole lot about the program, other than that its an assisted suicide program for older people or whatever, whats so bad about it?
@@hezhuoyuan3574 If it were just an assisted suicide program, I wouldn’t say it would be. But people who just don’t want to be alive due to mental or physical disability are “euthanized”. There was a woman who WANTED to live, but was in constant pain and kept getting rebuffed at every opportunity, medically, so she did it, hoping to spark debate and get medical reformation out there. All they did was make an advertisement about her “right to die”, when she’s quoted saying she didn’t want to. Homeless people who are afraid of death, but more afraid of the reality of being homeless, are also eligible to die. There’s a waiting list, and it’s so systemically organized that it reminds me of Nazi Eugenics Programs. This year it’s supposed to be opening up to minors.
@@woods2424 Well, it’s not just for older people - this year it opens up for minors, too. It’s awful because there are people signing up who want to live, but can’t handle the pain they’re in so they sign up, instead of receiving the healthcare they’re supposed to have access to. Homeless people are also “eligible” to die, so they’ll take any reason to “euthanize” you. A famous case of a woman who appeared in a commercial advertising her “right to die” was that of a deceased woman who didn’t even want to die, but kept getting piss poor healthcare that she “slipped through the cracks”.
@@HavianEla
Considering the Prime Minister and the government's relations to the British, are you surprised this pot of zionism has an eugenics fetish?
That dude saying "do as your told", "accept your fate", "you don't have a choice", seems way too inclined to accept things, I would have had to explain to him "I could do what your are saying but I will need a written copy of the signed and dated agreement by the people taking me, where they assure me I will not face any situations, conditions, environments, or lack of choices that cause me any form of boredom, discomfort, or feeling of restriction/loss of freedom/infringement on liberty (by MY DEFINITIONS of these terms), under penalty of "set for life" fees/lawsuit before I'm comfortable in any way going along with ANYTHING someone who isn't me wants to impose on me.
keep up the good work! (here before famous)
Fumbling that Rocket League tho
2:43 has got me doing a triple take
my head hurts
16:47 I am a Canadian who shamefully went to prison for a few months after many mistakes that I made I can tell you that Canadian prisons are luxury resorts compared to the USA. Literally you can get anything and everything you need including specialists and advanced medical Care and the most important thing is that your security is guaranteed. Every inmate is screened extensively and is observed for their behaviors before they're even considered to be placed with another individual. Mad respect for the Canadian prison system ❤
#6 wasn't even a story, it just sounded like someone who has seen prison in movies and just threw out all the generic stuff he could think of. "King Shit of Turd Mountain" is not something anyone says in real life.
Hill not mountain lol
I got a "last day in jail" story. Young kid in a florida county jail getting ready to go up for ten on some robberies. Kid tried to snatch cookies off an irishmans plate at dinner. Irish man (Red) pulls out his false teeth and the blade above them and cut boy ear to ear. Kid straight up didnt make it. Our pod was on lockdown for 2 full days while they cleaned it up.
When you go inside it's the Law of the Jungle. Period.
The 3 words Everybody Needs To Remember are, Please, Thank you, and Excuse me.