This was so powerfully healing to watch. It also saddened me to see the way Karen beats herself up. She is beautiful on the outside and doesn’t see it. She is also beautiful on the inside. She has a beautiful, kind voice and a lovely personality. She laughs easily. How generous she is to let us all see this very personal moment. Prayers and blessings to her. May she see and realize what a gift she is.
This is the one I kept revisiting in the audiobook version of 'Loving What Is.' Such a miserable story and such a joyous reality. Karen is just so beautiful. Aaagh, aching with joy.
Jazy Xin - I, too, listened to this session many times years ago on CD. It's nice to put a face to the voice AND see what was edited out from the CD version!
Frank Zappa wrote in one of his songs: "What's the ugliest part of your body? Some say your nose. Some say your toes. I think it's your mind." So what have we got here. A beautiful big woman torturing herself or being tortured by her thoughts, her mind. Thank God for Byron Katie! Forget about your weight, dear. YOU ARE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE!
Wow! I've watched this video several times over the years. I felt unconditional love today. The lady was crying because she has believed the 'story' which is a lie for her entire life. But you can now see the freedom/release in her face when she gets it. NO MISTAKE!
This session is so truly transformative. Karen shared her pain with us in the most vulnerable way and what a gift she gave us!! Sending Karen love every time I watch it!! ❤️❤️❤️
This is one of my all time favourite Katie videos, I return to it time and again. Cry all over again, love and accept reality all over again. Wow. Just love this. Thank you so much for uploading.
Karen is gorgeous, big warm smile and sparkle in her eyes, what a intense journey so glad your on your healing path luvly lady . thank you for your relating your experience x
She may be "fat" but she certainly is not "ugly". She is a pretty lady with a beautiful smile. She also has a beautiful angelic voice. Most people would not be as well adjusted as she seems to be, considering all the betrayal, shock, and trauma she experienced in the death of her husband. I hope she has come to love herself since this work. She's so cute. Karen is her name? She is really good at Katie's process.
Yes and l liked Katie pointed that if Karen got thin she still would not be at peace if she didn’t love herself. There are as many large bodied people like Karen who are more at peace with themselves within that thin people who are depressed inside and full of self hate and rage. Katie pointed out that our toxic culture “ fat shames”
@@BrianCormackCarr Yes. Really yes. The woman is so trusting, so innocent, so ready to hear and to live the truth, and Katie is so loving. Just a briliant one!
Just wow! I so loved watching the beautiful Karen be set free from her self imposed prison. We all can learn immense wisdom from this. Thank you for sharing! 🙏 No mistake ❤️
Lets turn the story around to make ourselves feel better. How can you believe a perspective that is just there to avoid feeling the truth of how you feel? Karen has a right to feel distraught, her heart was destroyed. The truth isn't that this is to be looked at with perspective, the truth is that she had her heart rip out of her chest. Instead of trying to make sense of it all, the reality is, this stuff happens, and it hurts, but is told to look at reality although not the heart. Realizing this occurs through self pity is insecurity and having their heart broken, one who feels like the victim, which they are, but without self worth, then you will always be the victim, thereby possibly closing off your heart, and feeling possessive and depressed as a side effect/compensatory behavior. Karen needs to be able to cry, vent, and develop a healthy sense of self. With this development, she will realize what she does is right by her without feeling rejected or rejecting. Easier said then done, but with proper counseling, which this session is not, she can develop a healthier version of herself instead of manipulating perspective which is not in tune with her heart. Karen is told she is speaking myths and lies, what the hell. Matt shouldn't have cheated but he did, we trust to enable trust and avoid being hurt. Katie never wanted the money, but "only did" because she felt betrayed and further abandoned by Matt and rejected as having any self worth, as if she's not good enough. Karen trusted Matt, this is what happens when you trust someone, you don't think they'd cheat, lie, and love others more. You put your heart out there and this can be crushed. This is what love is, you allow yourself to be fully vulnerable. Matt still loved his ex-wife, thus never being able to truly get her name off as beneficiary, his way of still hanging onto her. It is possible that if Matt was here, that she'd get the baby, and is told to avoid this myth in order to feel more free. Karen is basically told that her feelings are wrong and a way to make them feel better is to change your perspective. None of this is teaching is how to live more abundantly from improving how one feels about themselves, not one comment about how to improve self worth, or even what self worth even means; which at the root of most of our issues is this. Katie teaches as if we should look at reality and create a perspective that serves us. Drop the story, can you see a reason to drop the story, what a joke, none of this is a story, this is how she feels. But then Katie says, "I'm not telling you to drop the story," of course Katie is, just using reverse psychology. So, don't really drop the story because we know you care, but common, look at reality, this is the premise. Katie keeps putting words into Karen's mouth, literally, because she has Karen repeat what the mental self talk towards self improvement is supposed to do, a true counselor/therapist/friend/someone that actually authentically cares, truly listens, and allows another to solve their own problem rather then telling them how to think or follow a guided questioning. True and authentic satisfaction of ego identification starts at the seed and the roots, not at the surface. Not sure why Katie brings God into this, I'm guessing because Katie blamed God for things in her life, projecting as if Karen feels this way. Even at the end Katie brings God back into this by pretty much saying life happens for a reason otherwise God is torturing us, Katie is coming from her own perspective, how she trusted God, ect, no one is bringing up God in any of this except Katie. So basically, 41:05, Katie teaches the belief that you are spared from something worse occurring when something bad happens, but Katie teaches contradictory to this to stay in reality. Good advice, but this is more of a belief than reality. You need a man, you need good sex, this is what is said by Katie. Good advice, but everyone needs that. Then Katie tells Karen her later, to turn this around, admitting the opposite. What does Karen truly feel? Then Katie says that all we have to do is work with the mind, when in fact we have to work with the heart. The word love was mentioned once in 52 min. Karen asks just how to feel whole after filing a law suit and not feel anger 39:31. So 40 minutes into this session, the only time this woman genuinely asks a question, her ego is allowed actually be real, and Katie cuts her off and says it's simple, and answers by pretty much telling this woman what's the big deal, just tell the truth and questions this woman what more can you do. Katie tells her when you tell the truth you win either way, and this woman agrees. While good advice, how about, allowing yourself to feel angry that you got screwed over, addressing the anger, allowing the anger, accepting the anger, and lets look at anger. Then would be good to possibly ask Karen to continue saying what she was going to say before she was cut off. 44:39, one of the few authentic comments given was by an audience member, just being real. This comment could probably help Karen in a more realistic way, because it's actually true, and authentic, instead of how to think, but Karen doesn't believe she has a beautiful soul, and that's the root. Thus, having this entire conversation, which wasn't a conversation, it was more like let me tell you what to think and say, but it should have been about why Karen feels the way she does about herself, and helping Karen to find how she could dive deeper into herself more in order to understand herself. Katie gives advice to this audience member at 44:39 to seek understanding, but provides Karen no understanding or ways to understand the self. 47:26, another audience member with more guidance and an authentic comment, to find ones heart, instead of being the victim, but no comment from Katie except thank you. Karen's ego just keeps adapting to Katie's ego, instead of finding itself, being helped to find it self in order to know itself. True growth doesn't occur because we can convince the mind to think differently, it occurs when the heart learns self acceptance and self love. The mind is only a reflection of the heart.
I think you've missed what's happening here, and you're projecting your own story onto what Karen and/or Katie are saying. BK hasn't asked Karen to deny any of those the things you think she has - exactly the opposite, in fact. She's just helping her to step out of the unhelpful story that keeps repeating and keeping her 'stuck'. "Karen's ego just keep adapting to Katie's ego". No, that would be YOUR ego talking. To get a better understanding of The Work, it's worth checking out Byron Katie's website or looking at other videos here on TH-cam.
@@made4mystery930 No offense, but have you decided to reply to me to condemn me or help? Either way, please let me know, no judgement here, honestly, I'm not here to judge, I truly just want to understand, please let me know how does helping someone step out of the unhelpful story by having them change their perspective?
@@alwaysbeeurself All I can say is you could be right, and I do agree with some of your points about giving feelings a voice. But without knowing Karen ourselves and all the tears and feelings of heartbreak and deep depression she's already gone through, we have no basis to think what is best for her and her path. Maybe she's already been angry and thrown a thousand tantrums. It's also possible to get stuck in our feelings because we haven't had the awareness of what gives life to those feelings--belief systems that run us from the recesses of our mind. Sometimes it's not so obvious what kind of beliefs we hold, because beliefs can form pre-verbally. In those cases, we do our best to give these beliefs a name. Addressing your point about when Katie says "You need a man, you need good sex", she was setting Karen up for the eventual "Is that true?" question before she was interrupted by Karen and the audience laughing. If you listen to other Katie tapes, you'll find that she often makes statements like that in that tone, catching the person off guard, before asking "Is that true?" The goal of The Work is not to convince the mind to believe differently, but to equalize our belief systems that fill up the space of awareness so that we are no longer blind to reality. When a belief stretches our attention too far away from ourselves, The Work dislodges the belief, allowing our attention to snap back into its source. The turnarounds are just there to support the further "loosening" of a belief, just in case the first four questions don't do the trick. Anyway, that's just my experience of The Work and my perception. You have your own perception and I respect that. Edit: To add, Question 3 of The Work "how do I react when I believe that thought" is, I find, often overlooked (or at least for me). That is where we allow the fullest expression of our feelings to take place.
@@helioschan7705 Hey........ thank you for your response! I appreciate your insights and perception, it def helps me to see this a little more clearer. I just know how much of a struggle life is, and in my experiences, if the causality of perception isn't met, then the interpretation is played upon in order to maintain a sense of well being. And of course, whatever works, this approach may help people and give them a better life. All we can really do is learn from experience and do the best we can. I'd be happy to hear how you help yourself in your life, with the mind/emotional struggles, even how Byron Katie has helped or anything else for that matter. Either way, take care, and thank you for your response, it was nice to be able to dialogue and share.
@@alwaysbeeurself The Work is one of many modalities that I use to navigate my experience of life. It's helped me get more in touch with my true feelings, let go of old beliefs and therefore feelings that no longer serve, and free my mind up to receive myself and the world more fully. That is not to say that The Work is without its downsides--for me, namely, the questions can become an obsession for the mind to run around in circles with. It can also be difficult to penetrate through deep issues when I don't spend enough time identifying my thoughts/contemplating each question. In such cases, I have other modalities to fall back on before returning to The Work with a fresh pair of eyes. With all that said, I am certainly a work in progress. By no means am I free of everyday struggles that life may seem to bring--far from it. But by going through this inner work, I am no longer exponentially compounding my existing struggles with more struggles. I so love and appreciate your open mind and your dedication to authenticity. I have learned from our interaction and your sharing, so thank you for that. You take good care too!
FATE? This is a Katieism that I cannot wrap my head around. 13:40-14:00 " *You have been spared. In my life this is the way it is. Every time I lose something I have been spared. Either that or God is a masochist.* " And, 41:05-41:42 " *....How do I know I don't need the money? It's gone. . . .I've been spared. What I would have done with that money would have been much more painful than losing it.* " Doesn't that denote Fate? I wonder what Katie's stance is on Fate vs. Free Will.
Mirror Image Good questions, I have wondered about this too. I think, though, this is sort of metaphorical on Katie’s part. As I understand her perspective, there is only “what is”, and “what is” is always good. Everything else is imagination. So it’s like she’s saying, ‘anything you can imagine is inferior to reality, simply because it didn’t happen’. In her interview with Josh Blau, called Catching Up With Reality, she has a conversation with him along those lines. He asks her about something that “could” have happened, and she says something like “Well it couldn’t. Because it didn’t.” By the way, there’s a video on TH-cam where Katie specially discusses free will: th-cam.com/video/FKvfSMQOWJw/w-d-xo.html
@@BrianCormackCarr You display such clarity, Mr. Carr. Thank you. You mentioned the Josh Blau interview; years ago I had the DVD of that interview. Unfortunately, I no longer have it but will keep an eye out for it to watch again. I did watch your link of Katie discussing free will several times but still left it scratching my head in confusion. I don't think I will ever have peace with the Fate vs. Free Will issue. My mind is arguing "Isn't even deciding to do The Work on a concept Free Will?" and "If there is such a thing as Law of Attraction....choosing to co-create with it; isn't that Free Will?" and on and on and on. Ugh.
I take it that Katie always sees the world as kind. That is without the story we each place upon it. We don’t really know what we need or not but think we do. The questions expose that reality without our story of what we think should and shouldn’t happen is free and fine. Whenever she asks who would you be without that thought, the answer is always good.
@@kristinadechandt3915 i don't think so..if your husband shags your neighbour behind your back...are you saying you won't be hurt because ---you don't believe they shouldn't do it ? lol
At 21:26, Katie talks about how a very famous producer turned her down for her to have her own show because she was fat and old. *Does anyone know who that producer was?* Yes, I know it's a petty question but I can't help myself.
11:28 - Can someone explain it to me i don't understand. Why say "matt should have lied"? Of course he *should have not* lied Of course he *should have not* made an adultery, of course he *should have not* hurt her by calling her fat and ugly. I see his sudden death as a punishment from God, because life is a gift and he misused it and hurt people so badly. And also I see his death as a gift for her from God who knew that after a mourning time she could have a new story with someone how deserves to be her husband. A trustworthy and loving man. I understand that attaching to the thought "matt should not have lied" create suffering because it make her feel worthless and wanting to die, and it makes her angry on matt because he should not have done all this horrible things and he did, but its the truth- husbands and wifes should not lie and should not betry one another, and he acted like an ass hole. This is the truth. The truth is no one wants this kind of spouse and he did an awful job as a human being. Does this work means you need to lie to yourself in order to feel peace?
The Work is about becoming aware that when we argue with what has actually happened, we feel stress and discomfort, and it does absolutely nothing to change the situation. What has happened, has happened. Matt DID lie. He DID commit adultery. He DID drop dead. This isn't about condoning his actions - it's just about accepting them - because there's no other choice that isn't stressful. She can't go back in time and change things. You're right - attaching to the thought "Matt should not have lied" creates suffering, and The Work is about ending suffering. Nothing more. Also - notice that she's not being asked to lie to herself. That's the point of the questions before moving to the turnaround. The questions help her to see that the statement that "Matt shouldn't have lied" causes stress, and isn't true - because it's not what happened in reality; accepting that he "should" have lied simply because he DID (and that she can't change that) enables her to release the stress, as she clearly does throughout this session. Also, it doesn't mean that she would put up with someone like Matt in the future. Maybe she'd be clearer about what she would accept in a spouse. Who knows? As to the idea that his death was a punishment from God? This doesn't really make sense, does it? If that's what's going on, then God is screwing up left, right and centre - because lots of people lie and commit adultery and don't drop dead. Lots of good people who are kind to others DO drop dead. Clearly, God isn't punishing them, but they're just as dead as Matt. The idea "God is punishing someone for being bad" is just another concept to be questioned.
'Can you see one reason not to drop the story' Yes, the truth shall set us free. Her husband was cruel and , knowing this, she can more forward and take care of herself
I'm not understanding what Katie is trying to get across here. 27:00-27:16 " *If it took a doing to be happy the world would be in trouble. That's why we have disease and old age; it's what is.* "
Mirror Image What I get from this is simply that if we depend upon being able to change outside conditions - in other words, “doing” things to apparently change our circumstances - in order to be happy, at some point it’s going to fail. We’ll get sick, lose our jobs, lose a loved one etc. There are some circumstances we just can’t out-“do”. But if we inquire (do The Work), we can make peace with “what is”, in whatever form it shows up. And all the apparently “bad” things - old age, disease, pain, death - are going to eventually push us to a point where self-inquiry is our only valid option, because these are circumstances we may eventually have no control over.
I just read many comments below and I'm going to be the exception. Would Katie be saying to a drug addict or smoking cigarettes or watching too much TV, that it's okay to be on drugs, it's okay to be more prone to lung disease, it's okay to be a couch potato?! I don't agree with everything she says, and I don't get everything she says. Karen is definitely a sweetheart, but she is fat, and that is not healthy. Of course, It is her decision to be fat or skinny, it's not so much about her being beautiful, it's about being healthy. Learning to love yourself in any state we are in, is critical. Being overweight is another addiction, and it is at epidemic proportion in our country. Overeating is not good for humans, emotionally or physically, but definitely Karen's decision, and hopefully, she doesn't have health complications from being over-weight. The bottom line is, if she continues to be overweight, then that is her decision, and she hopefully, can love and accept herself. If she loses weight, then she loves and accepts herself in a whole and non-egotistical way. We consume so much in this country, in many different ways, eating, alcohol, drugs, shopping, technology, gambling, etc. I think part of evolving means we get a grip on our over-consumption, for the betterment of our lives, community, and the world.
I think what Katie meant was to drop the thought that she is too fat because it is a stressful thought to have constantly and also a thought of self hatred. She looks how she looks now and she can change that if she wants but that it is not helpful to hang on to this thought because then it is easy to think she will be happy when she is thinner and so on. So to just accept the reality that her body is as it is right now (which can have many reasons - alone the situation she was in in the last months could lead many people to cope with eating). But I also understand what you mean but I do just think Katie wanted her to wake up to reality. And I personally don’t think she would be against the decision of her to loose weight if she wanted and to dismiss the reality that overweight people are higher of risk to develop some diseases etc. or that drug addicts like in your example may die from an overdose but you also can not be sure about that
What if god is a masochist? I don't really think god has a personality and I don't believe it plays the role of masochist, or sadist rather. But, what if god simply does not care one way or the other. That I do believe this is a possibility.
Also, the turnaround for Matt lying to her, "Matt should have lied"....No, he shouldn't have lied, but he did. The reality is, he did lie, and that just sounds more acceptable, than "he should have lied". It is good to inquire within and say, yes, he did lie to Karen, and that is the hard, cold reality, and to get on with life, one needs to accept that. But I would never agree with, "Matt should have lied". I can see some good in Katie's approach, but I don't agree with it 100%.
If there is a god, 'He" doesn't make us fat or skinny or young or old or anything. Our parents, our genes, our lifestyles, our time of birth, our luck to live as long as we do, all play a part but to say that god makes us any of these superficial things is silly. However, I do love Katie and her work and for the most part, find healing and love and forgiveness and truth in all of it except for an occasional statement that makes no sense at all to me.
im just finding her , like just a few days ago and im so grateful she popped up in my suggestions or whatever but yes i will have some AHA moments and then i will have NO idea what shes talking about. Im just being honest but im probably so early on the work , its gonna take some time
"This is kind of complicated.."
"We don't care"
😂😂 I love her
This was so powerfully healing to watch. It also saddened me to see the way Karen beats herself up. She is beautiful on the outside and doesn’t see it. She is also beautiful on the inside. She has a beautiful, kind voice and a lovely personality. She laughs easily. How generous she is to let us all see this very personal moment. Prayers and blessings to her. May she see and realize what a gift she is.
"Let's start at the top, sentence by sentence. I just don't see anything here that can't walk through together." So beautiful and moving!
Your such a beautiful soul to feel that.🙏🏼💜Namaste💚
"reality is always kinder than the story"
This is not always true thougb
@@captainman2clever351you are correct if that’s the story you choose to tell yourself ❤
This is one of my favourites. At the beginning, you think, how on earth this can be reconciled..? The the magic starts. ❤️
This is the one I kept revisiting in the audiobook version of 'Loving What Is.' Such a miserable story and such a joyous reality. Karen is just so beautiful. Aaagh, aching with joy.
PS I love that I am able to see her face. Thank you Brian for uploading these and thankfull that you are able to. Xx
Jazy Xin And what a beautiful face it is! 😊🙏❤️
Jazy Xin - I, too, listened to this session many times years ago on CD. It's nice to put a face to the voice AND see what was edited out from the CD version!
I did and do that too!!!❤️
OH My God, I finally get, what Byron Katie does. I could never see it in the other you tube videos.
Frank Zappa wrote in one of his songs: "What's the ugliest part of your body? Some say your nose. Some say your toes. I think it's your mind." So what have we got here. A beautiful big woman torturing herself or being tortured by her thoughts, her mind. Thank God for Byron Katie! Forget about your weight, dear. YOU ARE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE!
Reality is never this cruel. She is such pure energy.
One of my favorites too! ETolle “Thoughts & how they form an “Ego Identity”
Wow! I've watched this video several times over the years. I felt unconditional love today. The lady was crying because she has believed the 'story' which is a lie for her entire life. But you can now see the freedom/release in her face when she gets it. NO MISTAKE!
Yes
This session is so truly transformative. Karen shared her pain with us in the most vulnerable way and what a gift she gave us!! Sending Karen love every time I watch it!! ❤️❤️❤️
Can you imagine how many years of therapy this woman skipped with this worksheet. Katie is a world's treasure.
Now this one was powerful.
It's one of the first videos of Byron Katie I ever saw, and it certainly made an impression!
@@BrianCormackCarr I agree. It's the essence of The Work for me and one of the best thing I've ever seen from Katie. Thank you for sharing.
Whitedragon Flame one of my favorites.
This is one of my all time favourite Katie videos, I return to it time and again. Cry all over again, love and accept reality all over again. Wow. Just love this. Thank you so much for uploading.
Katie is pure love.
21:25 - The Byron Katie Show?!?! That producer was short sighted. These in-depth sessions are riveting! Thank you Brian Cormack Carr for uploading!
Mirror Image Wouldn’t that have been amazing?? 😁
@@BrianCormackCarr It would have changed the world! But, as Katie would say "Nothing before it's time." : -)
That would heal our nation. Some powerful people prefer us asleep
She's got such a beautiful voice ❤️🙏🏼 hope she is doing well 😊
Same thought. Beautiful voice of surrender
KAREN: How do you find the pieces to put you back together? BYRON: Sweetheart without OUR story we are together. ME: lose the story.
Karen is such a sweetheart. Such a honey. Wish her all the best💗💗💗
true. she's adorable
"Namaste"
"What are you doing? You're not from India....?"
So glad to hear someone say this 😁 this woman is fantastic.
Two stunningly gorgeous women!
The woman is sweet... 💞
Karen is gorgeous, big warm smile and sparkle in her eyes, what a intense journey so glad your on your healing path luvly lady . thank you for your relating your experience x
"Letting go is a concept that's outdated. It never worked." 🙌
Absolutely beautiful! Thank you! When you first think the topic has surely nothing to do with you...Then. 😊🙌🏻
Andrea Stofa Yes! 🙏
This lady is so dear.
She may be "fat" but she certainly is not "ugly". She is a pretty lady with a beautiful smile. She also has a beautiful angelic voice. Most people would not be as well adjusted as she seems to be, considering all the betrayal, shock, and trauma she experienced in the death of her husband. I hope she has come to love herself since this work. She's so cute. Karen is her name? She is really good at Katie's process.
Yes and l liked Katie pointed that if Karen got thin she still would not be at peace if she didn’t love herself. There are as many large bodied people like Karen who are more at peace with themselves within that thin people who are depressed inside and full of self hate and rage. Katie pointed out that our toxic culture “ fat shames”
Byron is dropping a lot of gems in this video! 🙏🏻💕
So grateful for this!
Looks like we either
live in a world of illusions
Or see the truth!
There is no middle ground
Thank you so much for uploading this!!! A wonderful session
It’s really brilliant, isn’t it? One of the most powerful examples of The Work in action.
@@BrianCormackCarr Yes. Really yes. The woman is so trusting, so innocent, so ready to hear and to live the truth, and Katie is so loving. Just a briliant one!
It really, really is. ❤️
Just brilliant xx Why didnt I find this lady years ago - amazing ....
"You should have found this lady years ago": is it true ? ;-)
Without our story we are together. That's all many of us have. That's the Work.
Just wow! I so loved watching the beautiful Karen be set free from her self imposed prison. We all can learn immense wisdom from this. Thank you for sharing! 🙏 No mistake ❤️
thank god for byron katie
Thank you for uploading these beautiful old tapes.
How is Karen now? I envision her so happy. She is so beautiful. xoxoxo
I was wondering and envisioned the same. 🙏🏽♥️
I was wondering about that too and picturing her so happy and joyous.
What does it matter that she is beautiful to you?
And that's why@@CirrowProductions boys and girls don't want to play with you!🧐
So amazing! Thank me for being guided here🙏
This is just beautiful, what a gift.
"without our story, we are together"
beautiful
Thank you Byron for sharing your knowledge. Thank you Karen you are so beautiful, I love your voice so beautiful
Can't thank you enough for posting this. Absolutely stunning! You're my hero Karen!! Hugz
Isn't this an amazing piece of Work? Beautiful to watch.
What a wonderful transformational start to her true and blessed life!
At 39:10, Katie says "We have a lot of assistance". Would anyone share what they think she means by this statement? 💐
Good question. Immediately after she said that she said . . . But ultimately you're the one. So, Who or Where is this assistance coming from?
Our I Am, our Beloved Soul.
Oh this person is so sweet 😊
In Japan,thousand years ago,
fat women were seen as”beautiful”.
Thin women were seen as”poor”.
The definition of beauty was very different.
Thanks for sharing this.
Wonderful truth. I am living simular story
Me too, how are you? if you see this.
@@bemagikal2048 I see this
One minute in my heart breaks for this woman... it's been a few years. I so hope she's okay... 😢
Love this one they work well together .
Wow, this woman has been through a lot! When I listen to hear and watch her I see a cute and innocent little girl.
No mistake....i love it!!!!
32:30 began the biggest belly laugh i've had all month.
This is so powerful
Amazing!!! 👍🏼👌😊💛☀️❤️ “Tell the truth & stay in reality”
This woman was so sweet.
I'd love to add a HUNGARIAN translation, is it possible here? Thx, :)
Beautiful ❤️
How can she think she's ugly?!
just profound and true til it hurts
Fantastic
"Save me a lot of time... what a friend!"
Por favor subtitulos en español. Gracias 🙏
Sally Struthers?
Karen is so beautiful and courageous.
She‘s adorable 💞
You have the most beautiful voice and is so sweet and so lovely.
Lets turn the story around to make ourselves feel better. How can you believe a perspective that is just there to avoid feeling the truth of how you feel?
Karen has a right to feel distraught, her heart was destroyed. The truth isn't that this is to be looked at with perspective, the truth is that she had her heart rip out of her chest.
Instead of trying to make sense of it all, the reality is, this stuff happens, and it hurts, but is told to look at reality although not the heart. Realizing this occurs through self pity is insecurity and having their heart broken, one who feels like the victim, which they are, but without self worth, then you will always be the victim, thereby possibly closing off your heart, and feeling possessive and depressed as a side effect/compensatory behavior.
Karen needs to be able to cry, vent, and develop a healthy sense of self. With this development, she will realize what she does is right by her without feeling rejected or rejecting. Easier said then done, but with proper counseling, which this session is not, she can develop a healthier version of herself instead of manipulating perspective which is not in tune with her heart.
Karen is told she is speaking myths and lies, what the hell. Matt shouldn't have cheated but he did, we trust to enable trust and avoid being hurt.
Katie never wanted the money, but "only did" because she felt betrayed and further abandoned by Matt and rejected as having any self worth, as if she's not good enough. Karen trusted Matt, this is what happens when you trust someone, you don't think they'd cheat, lie, and love others more. You put your heart out there and this can be crushed. This is what love is, you allow yourself to be fully vulnerable.
Matt still loved his ex-wife, thus never being able to truly get her name off as beneficiary, his way of still hanging onto her. It is possible that if Matt was here, that she'd get the baby, and is told to avoid this myth in order to feel more free. Karen is basically told that her feelings are wrong and a way to make them feel better is to change your perspective.
None of this is teaching is how to live more abundantly from improving how one feels about themselves, not one comment about how to improve self worth, or even what self worth even means; which at the root of most of our issues is this. Katie teaches as if we should look at reality and create a perspective that serves us.
Drop the story, can you see a reason to drop the story, what a joke, none of this is a story, this is how she feels. But then Katie says, "I'm not telling you to drop the story," of course Katie is, just using reverse psychology. So, don't really drop the story because we know you care, but common, look at reality, this is the premise.
Katie keeps putting words into Karen's mouth, literally, because she has Karen repeat what the mental self talk towards self improvement is supposed to do, a true counselor/therapist/friend/someone that actually authentically cares, truly listens, and allows another to solve their own problem rather then telling them how to think or follow a guided questioning. True and authentic satisfaction of ego identification starts at the seed and the roots, not at the surface.
Not sure why Katie brings God into this, I'm guessing because Katie blamed God for things in her life, projecting as if Karen feels this way. Even at the end Katie brings God back into this by pretty much saying life happens for a reason otherwise God is torturing us, Katie is coming from her own perspective, how she trusted God, ect, no one is bringing up God in any of this except Katie. So basically, 41:05, Katie teaches the belief that you are spared from something worse occurring when something bad happens, but Katie teaches contradictory to this to stay in reality. Good advice, but this is more of a belief than reality.
You need a man, you need good sex, this is what is said by Katie. Good advice, but everyone needs that. Then Katie tells Karen her later, to turn this around, admitting the opposite. What does Karen truly feel? Then Katie says that all we have to do is work with the mind, when in fact we have to work with the heart. The word love was mentioned once in 52 min.
Karen asks just how to feel whole after filing a law suit and not feel anger 39:31. So 40 minutes into this session, the only time this woman genuinely asks a question, her ego is allowed actually be real, and Katie cuts her off and says it's simple, and answers by pretty much telling this woman what's the big deal, just tell the truth and questions this woman what more can you do. Katie tells her when you tell the truth you win either way, and this woman agrees. While good advice, how about, allowing yourself to feel angry that you got screwed over, addressing the anger, allowing the anger, accepting the anger, and lets look at anger. Then would be good to possibly ask Karen to continue saying what she was going to say before she was cut off.
44:39, one of the few authentic comments given was by an audience member, just being real. This comment could probably help Karen in a more realistic way, because it's actually true, and authentic, instead of how to think, but Karen doesn't believe she has a beautiful soul, and that's the root.
Thus, having this entire conversation, which wasn't a conversation, it was more like let me tell you what to think and say, but it should have been about why Karen feels the way she does about herself, and helping Karen to find how she could dive deeper into herself more in order to understand herself. Katie gives advice to this audience member at 44:39 to seek understanding, but provides Karen no understanding or ways to understand the self.
47:26, another audience member with more guidance and an authentic comment, to find ones heart, instead of being the victim, but no comment from Katie except thank you.
Karen's ego just keeps adapting to Katie's ego, instead of finding itself, being helped to find it self in order to know itself.
True growth doesn't occur because we can convince the mind to think differently, it occurs when the heart learns self acceptance and self love. The mind is only a reflection of the heart.
I think you've missed what's happening here, and you're projecting your own story onto what Karen and/or Katie are saying. BK hasn't asked Karen to deny any of those the things you think she has - exactly the opposite, in fact. She's just helping her to step out of the unhelpful story that keeps repeating and keeping her 'stuck'.
"Karen's ego just keep adapting to Katie's ego". No, that would be YOUR ego talking.
To get a better understanding of The Work, it's worth checking out Byron Katie's website or looking at other videos here on TH-cam.
@@made4mystery930 No offense, but have you decided to reply to me to condemn me or help?
Either way, please let me know, no judgement here, honestly, I'm not here to judge, I truly just want to understand, please let me know how does helping someone step out of the unhelpful story by having them change their perspective?
@@alwaysbeeurself All I can say is you could be right, and I do agree with some of your points about giving feelings a voice. But without knowing Karen ourselves and all the tears and feelings of heartbreak and deep depression she's already gone through, we have no basis to think what is best for her and her path. Maybe she's already been angry and thrown a thousand tantrums. It's also possible to get stuck in our feelings because we haven't had the awareness of what gives life to those feelings--belief systems that run us from the recesses of our mind. Sometimes it's not so obvious what kind of beliefs we hold, because beliefs can form pre-verbally. In those cases, we do our best to give these beliefs a name.
Addressing your point about when Katie says "You need a man, you need good sex", she was setting Karen up for the eventual "Is that true?" question before she was interrupted by Karen and the audience laughing. If you listen to other Katie tapes, you'll find that she often makes statements like that in that tone, catching the person off guard, before asking "Is that true?"
The goal of The Work is not to convince the mind to believe differently, but to equalize our belief systems that fill up the space of awareness so that we are no longer blind to reality. When a belief stretches our attention too far away from ourselves, The Work dislodges the belief, allowing our attention to snap back into its source. The turnarounds are just there to support the further "loosening" of a belief, just in case the first four questions don't do the trick.
Anyway, that's just my experience of The Work and my perception. You have your own perception and I respect that.
Edit: To add, Question 3 of The Work "how do I react when I believe that thought" is, I find, often overlooked (or at least for me). That is where we allow the fullest expression of our feelings to take place.
@@helioschan7705 Hey........ thank you for your response! I appreciate your insights and perception, it def helps me to see this a little more clearer.
I just know how much of a struggle life is, and in my experiences, if the causality of perception isn't met, then the interpretation is played upon in order to maintain a sense of well being. And of course, whatever works, this approach may help people and give them a better life.
All we can really do is learn from experience and do the best we can.
I'd be happy to hear how you help yourself in your life, with the mind/emotional struggles, even how Byron Katie has helped or anything else for that matter.
Either way, take care, and thank you for your response, it was nice to be able to dialogue and share.
@@alwaysbeeurself The Work is one of many modalities that I use to navigate my experience of life. It's helped me get more in touch with my true feelings, let go of old beliefs and therefore feelings that no longer serve, and free my mind up to receive myself and the world more fully. That is not to say that The Work is without its downsides--for me, namely, the questions can become an obsession for the mind to run around in circles with. It can also be difficult to penetrate through deep issues when I don't spend enough time identifying my thoughts/contemplating each question. In such cases, I have other modalities to fall back on before returning to The Work with a fresh pair of eyes.
With all that said, I am certainly a work in progress. By no means am I free of everyday struggles that life may seem to bring--far from it. But by going through this inner work, I am no longer exponentially compounding my existing struggles with more struggles.
I so love and appreciate your open mind and your dedication to authenticity. I have learned from our interaction and your sharing, so thank you for that. You take good care too!
FATE? This is a Katieism that I cannot wrap my head around. 13:40-14:00 " *You have been spared. In my life this is the way it is. Every time I lose something I have been spared. Either that or God is a masochist.* " And, 41:05-41:42 " *....How do I know I don't need the money? It's gone. . . .I've been spared. What I would have done with that money would have been much more painful than losing it.* " Doesn't that denote Fate? I wonder what Katie's stance is on Fate vs. Free Will.
Mirror Image Good questions, I have wondered about this too. I think, though, this is sort of metaphorical on Katie’s part. As I understand her perspective, there is only “what is”, and “what is” is always good. Everything else is imagination. So it’s like she’s saying, ‘anything you can imagine is inferior to reality, simply because it didn’t happen’. In her interview with Josh Blau, called Catching Up With Reality, she has a conversation with him along those lines. He asks her about something that “could” have happened, and she says something like “Well it couldn’t. Because it didn’t.”
By the way, there’s a video on TH-cam where Katie specially discusses free will: th-cam.com/video/FKvfSMQOWJw/w-d-xo.html
@@BrianCormackCarr You display such clarity, Mr. Carr. Thank you.
You mentioned the Josh Blau interview; years ago I had the DVD of that interview. Unfortunately, I no longer have it but will keep an eye out for it to watch again. I did watch your link of Katie discussing free will several times but still left it scratching my head in confusion.
I don't think I will ever have peace with the Fate vs. Free Will issue. My mind is arguing "Isn't even deciding to do The Work on a concept Free Will?" and "If there is such a thing as Law of Attraction....choosing to co-create with it; isn't that Free Will?" and on and on and on. Ugh.
Well, if it's any consolation - the Fate vs. Free Will debate is one that philosophers have been having for centuries! So we're in good company! 😃
@@BrianCormackCarr LOL! Yes! That makes me feel better! LOL!
I take it that Katie always sees the world as kind. That is without the story we each place upon it. We don’t really know what we need or not but think we do. The questions expose that reality without our story of what we think should and shouldn’t happen is free and fine. Whenever she asks who would you be without that thought, the answer is always good.
wow - really cool!!! - I want this card ! ;-).. and that's really true ;-)
husbands and wives lie- but it's still hurtful when they do.
Only if you believe they shouldn't
@@kristinadechandt3915 i don't think so..if your husband shags your neighbour behind your back...are you saying you won't be hurt because ---you don't believe they shouldn't do it ? lol
@@peterbrennan393 if you really believe husband should have done it because obviously he did it then it can be let go
At 21:26, Katie talks about how a very famous producer turned her down for her to have her own show because she was fat and old. *Does anyone know who that producer was?* Yes, I know it's a petty question but I can't help myself.
I just love this woman. Wondered how she’s doing today🧡
11:28 - Can someone explain it to me i don't understand. Why say "matt should have lied"? Of course he *should have not* lied Of course he *should have not* made an adultery, of course he *should have not* hurt her by calling her fat and ugly. I see his sudden death as a punishment from God, because life is a gift and he misused it and hurt people so badly. And also I see his death as a gift for her from God who knew that after a mourning time she could have a new story with someone how deserves to be her husband. A trustworthy and loving man.
I understand that attaching to the thought "matt should not have lied" create suffering because it make her feel worthless and wanting to die, and it makes her angry on matt because he should not have done all this horrible things and he did, but its the truth- husbands and wifes should not lie and should not betry one another, and he acted like an ass hole. This is the truth. The truth is no one wants this kind of spouse and he did an awful job as a human being.
Does this work means you need to lie to yourself in order to feel peace?
The Work is about becoming aware that when we argue with what has actually happened, we feel stress and discomfort, and it does absolutely nothing to change the situation. What has happened, has happened. Matt DID lie. He DID commit adultery. He DID drop dead.
This isn't about condoning his actions - it's just about accepting them - because there's no other choice that isn't stressful. She can't go back in time and change things. You're right - attaching to the thought "Matt should not have lied" creates suffering, and The Work is about ending suffering. Nothing more.
Also - notice that she's not being asked to lie to herself. That's the point of the questions before moving to the turnaround. The questions help her to see that the statement that "Matt shouldn't have lied" causes stress, and isn't true - because it's not what happened in reality; accepting that he "should" have lied simply because he DID (and that she can't change that) enables her to release the stress, as she clearly does throughout this session.
Also, it doesn't mean that she would put up with someone like Matt in the future. Maybe she'd be clearer about what she would accept in a spouse. Who knows?
As to the idea that his death was a punishment from God? This doesn't really make sense, does it? If that's what's going on, then God is screwing up left, right and centre - because lots of people lie and commit adultery and don't drop dead. Lots of good people who are kind to others DO drop dead. Clearly, God isn't punishing them, but they're just as dead as Matt.
The idea "God is punishing someone for being bad" is just another concept to be questioned.
thank you Katie Namaste [ nomistake smile
Investigation 49:50
'Can you see one reason not to drop the story'
Yes, the truth shall set us free.
Her husband was cruel and , knowing this, she can more forward and take care of herself
Wow, amazing. Thanks for sharing. It must take a lot of courage to speak that honestly. You are very cool, Karin. How are you doing today?
"no mistake"
I'm not understanding what Katie is trying to get across here. 27:00-27:16 " *If it took a doing to be happy the world would be in trouble. That's why we have disease and old age; it's what is.* "
Mirror Image What I get from this is simply that if we depend upon being able to change outside conditions - in other words, “doing” things to apparently change our circumstances - in order to be happy, at some point it’s going to fail. We’ll get sick, lose our jobs, lose a loved one etc. There are some circumstances we just can’t out-“do”. But if we inquire (do The Work), we can make peace with “what is”, in whatever form it shows up. And all the apparently “bad” things - old age, disease, pain, death - are going to eventually push us to a point where self-inquiry is our only valid option, because these are circumstances we may eventually have no control over.
@@BrianCormackCarr Thank you for your insight. Your explanation rings true to me.
🙏🙏🙏
But not suppose to!
I am a mother but terribly struggle with the fact that someone in the audience thought they should bring their baby to this type of workshop???
@Lauren rapozo xD xD
I just read many comments below and I'm going to be the exception. Would Katie be saying to a drug addict or smoking cigarettes or watching too much TV, that it's okay to be on drugs, it's okay to be more prone to lung disease, it's okay to be a couch potato?! I don't agree with everything she says, and I don't get everything she says. Karen is definitely a sweetheart, but she is fat, and that is not healthy. Of course, It is her decision to be fat or skinny, it's not so much about her being beautiful, it's about being healthy. Learning to love yourself in any state we are in, is critical. Being overweight is another addiction, and it is at epidemic proportion in our country. Overeating is not good for humans, emotionally or physically, but definitely Karen's decision, and hopefully, she doesn't have health complications from being over-weight. The bottom line is, if she continues to be overweight, then that is her decision, and she hopefully, can love and accept herself. If she loses weight, then she loves and accepts herself in a whole and non-egotistical way. We consume so much in this country, in many different ways, eating, alcohol, drugs, shopping, technology, gambling, etc. I think part of evolving means we get a grip on our over-consumption, for the betterment of our lives, community, and the world.
I think what Katie meant was to drop the thought that she is too fat because it is a stressful thought to have constantly and also a thought of self hatred. She looks how she looks now and she can change that if she wants but that it is not helpful to hang on to this thought because then it is easy to think she will be happy when she is thinner and so on. So to just accept the reality that her body is as it is right now (which can have many reasons - alone the situation she was in in the last months could lead many people to cope with eating). But I also understand what you mean but I do just think Katie wanted her to wake up to reality. And I personally don’t think she would be against the decision of her to loose weight if she wanted and to dismiss the reality that overweight people are higher of risk to develop some diseases etc. or that drug addicts like in your example may die from an overdose but you also can not be sure about that
She actually reminds me of Meg Ryan
yes, same! i was just thinking her face and her expressions are very similar to Meg Ryan’s
What if god is a masochist? I don't really think god has a personality and I don't believe it plays the role of masochist, or sadist rather. But, what if god simply does not care one way or the other. That I do believe this is a possibility.
Karen is so brave.
💙
Also, the turnaround for Matt lying to her, "Matt should have lied"....No, he shouldn't have lied, but he did. The reality is, he did lie, and that just sounds more acceptable, than "he should have lied". It is good to inquire within and say, yes, he did lie to Karen, and that is the hard, cold reality, and to get on with life, one needs to accept that. But I would never agree with, "Matt should have lied". I can see some good in Katie's approach, but I don't agree with it 100%.
This woman looks like Melanie Griffith! Beautiful!
If there is a god, 'He" doesn't make us fat or skinny or young or old or anything. Our parents, our genes, our lifestyles, our time of birth, our luck to live as long as we do, all play a part but to say that god makes us any of these superficial things is silly. However, I do love Katie and her work and for the most part, find healing and love and forgiveness and truth in all of it except for an occasional statement that makes no sense at all to me.
im just finding her , like just a few days ago and im so grateful she popped up in my suggestions or whatever but yes i will have some AHA moments and then i will have NO idea what shes talking about. Im just being honest but im probably so early on the work , its gonna take some time
Jajajajajjaajja😂😂
I think when BK says God’s a masochist She means to say Gods a sadist
Karen is so pretty, I hope she knows
I can only see Melanie Griffith on Working girl, They are identicall!!!!!
The only true love and real lover is God. We delude ourselves by investing in other human beings.
He died and lied