Hi. I can't help but mention my MIL. She has been brought up in village and got married in a small town. She was tortured by her In Laws.But when it comes to being a MIL, she is an angel sent from heaven. We recently shifted to my husband's hometown as I recently gave birth to a baby boy and I had to rejoin in January. We both are doctors, so we needed family support. Though our in laws have a very big house, but I insisted to stay separately in an apartment near my hospital to which my in laws gladly agreed. Kudos to my husband for always supporting my decisions. I just wanted our privacy and wanted to protect this b'ful relationship I share with my in laws. Nowadays, both my MIL and FIL come to our house ( which is around 5kms away) in the morning when I need to leave for work, almost 4 times a week, and stay, play with my baby,and sometimes cook for me, to lessen my burden. My husband is a 100% hands on Dad, because he was raised right by his mother. During my duty hours, when I video call and see my baby playing happily with his grand parents, i feel blessed. I wish to be the same for my DIL someday, all because my MIL was brave to break the chain of trauma. I hope someone unmarried reads this and find some positivity about marriages and family.😊
A women who never had her identity or never did something for her self then she will be always dependent on her husband or son /daughter but here we are talking son that is because that was her life project imagine you left your home, job and social life for a men then she will always expect that men which is maybe her husband or son to do the same but when she see's her son to enjoy her life she will feel proud but always feel like Oo he is successful good but what i am doing in my life what i achieved and when she see's her son happy with another women she wlil start feeling. That wait he never listened to me then why he is listening to her wife and that come from the fact most of us under estimates our mom thinking ki theekhe mummy ko manalenge but at the other hand they are scared of their father that is because they know he is the bread winner and head of the family so when she see's that she will be like wait i never spoke for myself or said anything to my husband then why she is doing that to my son and if i did that then she should also but the only problem is that those women also had dreams but their dreams were crushed by the society so now they feel that why now a day's women have this much freedom and feeling jealous about that
Grammar aside, you are absolutely correct! Unfortunately, these toxic mother-in-laws are also just products of patriarchy. I’m not trying to justify their actions by any means, but I can sympathize with them. After all, every villain has their origin story. Then you hear some people claim that patriarchy was “working” for creating good families and strong societies when all it created are toxic and insecure people with broken dreams. The only people it worked for are men who actually just wanted to work and be the dominant of the family and women who just wanted to be housewives and submissive to their husbands and in-laws. They claim that it’s best for women to sacrifice their careers to raise children only as it’s their “most important duty as a woman to be a wife and mother.” They claim it’s most ideal and healthy for children to be raised by mothers when in reality, unfulfilled mothers only pass on their traumas and insecurities onto their children and either knowingly or unknowingly make their children’s lives worse. They start forming unhealthy and toxic relationships with their children just like the situations stated in the video above. If a woman is unfulfilled in their own lives it’s impossible for them to raise children properly and not mess up their lives because of her own trauma and the cycle just continues. Trauma is recycled from generation to generation and these unhealthy and toxic relationships persist. But patriarchs won’t see that. They only look at things from a surface level and think it’s working for family when in reality it’s only causing a ton more harm than actual good.
28:55 I don't understand this part of convo. Usually it is said that a woman is behind a successful man but if he's successful then she'll also enjoy the benefits of his success. Aur kya chahiye fir? Ofcourse thr guy will say that his wife managed house and kids very well. He's giving her appreciation in that sense na.
Also men engage in weaponized incompetence because wives nag too much. I mean in India we have maids so even with the help of maid wives keeps nagging instead of managing it themselves. Ofcourse when wife is sick it makes sense for husband to care about her but for other occasions she just nags
Hi. I can't help but mention my MIL. She has been brought up in village and got married in a small town. She was tortured by her In Laws.But when it comes to being a MIL, she is an angel sent from heaven. We recently shifted to my husband's hometown as I recently gave birth to a baby boy and I had to rejoin in January. We both are doctors, so we needed family support. Though our in laws have a very big house, but I insisted to stay separately in an apartment near my hospital to which my in laws gladly agreed. Kudos to my husband for always supporting my decisions. I just wanted our privacy and wanted to protect this b'ful relationship I share with my in laws. Nowadays, both my MIL and FIL come to our house ( which is around 5kms away) in the morning when I need to leave for work, almost 4 times a week, and stay, play with my baby,and sometimes cook for me, to lessen my burden. My husband is a 100% hands on Dad, because he was raised right by his mother. During my duty hours, when I video call and see my baby playing happily with his grand parents, i feel blessed. I wish to be the same for my DIL someday, all because my MIL was brave to break the chain of trauma.
I hope someone unmarried reads this and find some positivity about marriages and family.😊
We love this. This it what ‘it ends with us’ means when it comes to generational trauma.
So so happy to hear this. 💛
A women who never had her identity or never did something for her self then she will be always dependent on her husband or son /daughter but here we are talking son that is because that was her life project imagine you left your home, job and social life for a men then she will always expect that men which is maybe her husband or son to do the same but when she see's her son to enjoy her life she will feel proud but always feel like Oo he is successful good but what i am doing in my life what i achieved and when she see's her son happy with another women she wlil start feeling. That wait he never listened to me then why he is listening to her wife and that come from the fact most of us under estimates our mom thinking ki theekhe mummy ko manalenge but at the other hand they are scared of their father that is because they know he is the bread winner and head of the family so when she see's that she will be like wait i never spoke for myself or said anything to my husband then why she is doing that to my son and if i did that then she should also but the only problem is that those women also had dreams but their dreams were crushed by the society so now they feel that why now a day's women have this much freedom and feeling jealous about that
Grammar aside, you are absolutely correct! Unfortunately, these toxic mother-in-laws are also just products of patriarchy. I’m not trying to justify their actions by any means, but I can sympathize with them. After all, every villain has their origin story. Then you hear some people claim that patriarchy was “working” for creating good families and strong societies when all it created are toxic and insecure people with broken dreams. The only people it worked for are men who actually just wanted to work and be the dominant of the family and women who just wanted to be housewives and submissive to their husbands and in-laws. They claim that it’s best for women to sacrifice their careers to raise children only as it’s their “most important duty as a woman to be a wife and mother.” They claim it’s most ideal and healthy for children to be raised by mothers when in reality, unfulfilled mothers only pass on their traumas and insecurities onto their children and either knowingly or unknowingly make their children’s lives worse. They start forming unhealthy and toxic relationships with their children just like the situations stated in the video above. If a woman is unfulfilled in their own lives it’s impossible for them to raise children properly and not mess up their lives because of her own trauma and the cycle just continues. Trauma is recycled from generation to generation and these unhealthy and toxic relationships persist. But patriarchs won’t see that. They only look at things from a surface level and think it’s working for family when in reality it’s only causing a ton more harm than actual good.
@@amandadarkwood535 This is my second channel / account and i am 16 yr old so sorry for the grammer
@@amandadarkwood535soory for my grammer I am 16 yr old so my grammar is pretty bad specially when I am angry 😂
Also this is my second account
09:10 wow
28:55 I don't understand this part of convo. Usually it is said that a woman is behind a successful man but if he's successful then she'll also enjoy the benefits of his success. Aur kya chahiye fir? Ofcourse thr guy will say that his wife managed house and kids very well. He's giving her appreciation in that sense na.
You can marry your mom and live your life ??
@Msomale maybe you're interested in incest but people aren't interested in that. Shaadi ke baad biwi hi sambhalegi na.
Also men engage in weaponized incompetence because wives nag too much. I mean in India we have maids so even with the help of maid wives keeps nagging instead of managing it themselves. Ofcourse when wife is sick it makes sense for husband to care about her but for other occasions she just nags
Nagging karne mein wives ko kitna sukoon milta hoga na?