Asian Parents Broke Me.

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 1.1K

  • @official_awei
    @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +368

    If you've enjoyed the video and scrolled down to the comments, please like, subscribe, and leave a comment if possible... It only takes a few seconds and genuinely helps me out a ton, thanks!
    Also, if you'd like to support the channel and get in touch with me one-on-one for any reason, feel free to join me over on patreon.com/AlexWei

    • @Danilio.
      @Danilio. 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      👑

    • @tedlovejesus
      @tedlovejesus 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I feel you have gift in doing “smart” things
      If you know what i mean..

    • @tonnentonie2767
      @tonnentonie2767 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Good video, but let me suggest an improvement. Don't use AI generated images, just use free stock footage. It looks so goofy it undermines the very serious topics you talk about.

    • @geniusly_normal
      @geniusly_normal 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@tonnentonie2767true

    • @PiyanistMC
      @PiyanistMC 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Studying isn't suffering, especially before high school. There is an exam to get into "good high schools" here in Turkey, just like ones in Korea or China, and you have to study for it for at least 12 months before (if you want to be successful), and during that period you do nothing but study, but you get used to it in, like, a month. The piano and art stories were really sad, though. 🐺(Turkish nationalist symbol)

  • @jamiefitzsimons2000
    @jamiefitzsimons2000 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1384

    The Asian parent stereotype is always joked about online but it’s a serious physical and mental struggle for a lot of kids

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +124

      Yeah it really is, I'm definitely not the only one

    • @Dreadvr0711
      @Dreadvr0711 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      Fr.

    • @obiwancannoli1920
      @obiwancannoli1920 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +47

      Yeah and it's really annoying how people brush it off as "normal", and people with those parents feel they have bragging rights, like no dude you were abused. I'm really glad my parents are different.

    • @TheBritishmonkeys
      @TheBritishmonkeys 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      tell me about it im still a kid and have an asian mom she always takes my brothers side and never mine so I am forced to work harder and harder the only thing stopping more cruel things happening is my dad he's british and is always on both sides so my brother and me are still in a good relationship but it is the sterotype which breaks me I am called ching chong everyday or they sing racial songs about asian peole and One day I got headlocked for that and nearly lost concious or potentially my life. stop it now you people doing this to others and not only asians

    • @letmeshowspeed
      @letmeshowspeed 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      You needed cps from birth bro

  • @omarazami7377
    @omarazami7377 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1658

    “No human being was meant to live the way I was raised” ….me and you both brother. I’m sorry for your suffering.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +97

      U as well. Hope things are well in ur life!

    • @cjplx
      @cjplx 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

      I hope you guys find healing

    • @Diddy_biggestfan09
      @Diddy_biggestfan09 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Just don't be Asian 🤷🏼

    • @LeoxfromSG
      @LeoxfromSG 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's not something you can choose​@@Diddy_biggestfan09

    • @bengaminng1.
      @bengaminng1. 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      ​​@@Diddy_biggestfan09 "oh yeah let me pick where i wanna be born. Hmm.. oh yeah europe, perfect place to be born. Thankfully i can pick exactly where i wanna be born!"
      Do you think we're god?

  • @MT-xu7dh
    @MT-xu7dh 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1319

    Talent is like a seedling, water it too little and it will shrivel up water it too much and will drown.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +132

      Wow that's a great quote...

    • @Luke-f1e
      @Luke-f1e 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      ​@@official_aweiwhat do you mean by the thumbnail no A+ no dinner?

    • @ArmE853
      @ArmE853 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      @@Luke-f1emeans that if you get anything less than a A+, you’ll get punished with no dinner

    • @小縷縷
      @小縷縷 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      average
      below average
      something like that, I forget the rest.

    • @Luke-f1e
      @Luke-f1e 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@ArmE853 how do I get A+

  • @DomozoveoGZ
    @DomozoveoGZ 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +999

    My Mom used to try to tutor me in math.. She was from Vietnam, so being bad at math was a BIG problem to her. She was extremely impatient, unclear, and our study sessions would often end in fights. Study sessions would go on for hours on end, on vacations, weekends, and would prevent me from doing any actual homework. Edit: It was the main priority in our relationship, and she discouraged me from pursuing other interests because she was so obsessed with school - I didn't even have a job until I turned 18. She wouldn't even allow me to do homework the way I wanted to do it (listening to music while studying, only doing it for 2 hours). I had a lot of anger and mental issues growing up because of it, which only stopped when she realized what she was doing was wrong.
    I hate school now, and won't marry an Asian woman because I don't want my children to go through what I went through. I feel you man. Culture or no, no child should have to go through that.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +118

      Sorry to hear about what u went through. I actually feel the same way when it comes to not marrying an Asian woman lmao

    • @sleepy4205
      @sleepy4205 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

      Are you implying that all asian women are like this?

    • @user-dw4qz5kk7p
      @user-dw4qz5kk7p 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +60

      ​@@Diddy_biggestfan09 "Drakes Biggest Fan" with an anime profile picture. This one screams "Mom's Basement"

    • @savage8927
      @savage8927 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@Diddy_biggestfan09 seen this @Drakesbiggestfan39 guy before lmaoooo. Known troll, probably smells like musk and doesn't have a girlfriend

    • @RobloxNoobwastaken
      @RobloxNoobwastaken 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      Same happened to me

  • @dees2621
    @dees2621 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +759

    My parents are the polar opposite of this, they never really taught me how to step out of my comfort zone or work on something difficult. They let me just play video games all the time as a kid and didn't try to make me do something else. The only thing they slightly pressured me to do is get good grades, not even brainwashing or getting angry at me. They just said it was important and I felt a little bit guilty for not doing it, and it worked, I've been a good student with just that little nudge.
    I was naturally interested in science as a kid and now I'm passionate about that, but I cannot seem to put in the hard work to study/practice it despite loving it. It is so weird.
    My brain simply cannot just do something even slightly uncomfortable, like doing a few pages of easy homework, working out, playing a sport, or talking to people that I am not familiar with. I only do things when I am threatened by something like a deadline or anger/social expectation from someone else. I'm working on it but that upbringing really fucks you up like the way yours did, even if its the opposite treatment

    • @oreo_6206
      @oreo_6206 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +52

      Real I have severe adhd and function similarly to that

    • @jhonatanjhonatan2962
      @jhonatanjhonatan2962 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      Relatable

    • @dees2621
      @dees2621 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@oreo_6206 I've never been diagnosed or tested for anything.. I wonder if I get tested I can get the help I need instead of trying to do everything myself.
      When I do get to doing work via pressure I do it incredibly well and don't get distracted. I can easily pay attention to conversations and pay attention to my professors. So I don't know if its ADHD, but I might be wrong. Anything else I could have is just as valid though

    • @Noname-ok4tf
      @Noname-ok4tf 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

      Similar background to yours. It makes it hard to develop healthy habits. At least we know our passion is our own and any success belongs to us alone.

    • @mig3228
      @mig3228 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Me too

  • @primaveraspringsteen
    @primaveraspringsteen 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +164

    this is extremely relatable. the wechat groupchats, lying to CPS, and blaming yourself as a child for abuse. i always thought if i was smarter, better, or what they wanted, they wouldnt beat me. my asian friends went thru the same stuff. thank u for simply speaking out about it because it does so much good.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      Of course, and sorry to hear what your friends had to go thru

    • @lolguydabozz
      @lolguydabozz หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Damn, I pray to y'all that experience this that it will be better and no those of comparing and forcing your child to get good grades 🙏

    • @LBNBall
      @LBNBall หลายเดือนก่อน

      Ayo what do you mean by Cp’s??

  • @nont18411
    @nont18411 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +419

    15:10 “But if you make money, and you enjoy it, then who gives a fuck?”
    Words to live by

    • @Th3nox13
      @Th3nox13 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Good high paying job with good friends is peak life

    • @Pizzatuber
      @Pizzatuber หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Actually, nevermind. A good life *is* peak.

    • @mylarodeo1986
      @mylarodeo1986 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      "But if you make money, and you enjoy it-". This is what I really don't like about this. Imagine you're a Christian, you're living your life (if u know, u know), and you suddenly get money, and you enjoy it, and you slowly drift away from God, eventually doing the desires of man, and not God. That's the problem with your holy, Christian life. If you already had begun your life with God, you should avoid the desires of man. That is what I recommend you to do.

    • @Th3nox13
      @Th3nox13 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @mylarodeo1986 i do agree, but how eat? Pick berries in a forest? And where to sleep and stay?

    • @scctheYotub3r
      @scctheYotub3r หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@mylarodeo1986 then stop being christian lol.

  • @shannonmoore2795
    @shannonmoore2795 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I am a counselor for young Asian males who feel a lot of pressure to live their parents dream instead of finding their own way, and this video is invaluable. I' am sorry that it came at the great cost of your suffering but, sincerely, thank you for being willing to do this.

  • @cocobunitacobuni8738
    @cocobunitacobuni8738 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +96

    Thanks for sharing your story. I know a Chinese mother who moved her child to Germany because she doesn't want him to grow up in this culture of fierce academic competition and an overload of school work.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      Might have been a smart move

  • @RnR382
    @RnR382 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +191

    I can relate to this part where you said, "all the other kids playing and having fun during their childhoods and developing socially, those kids will end up homeless". That is exactly what my dad told me.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

      We got gaslighted by out parents lmao

    • @AldRyX1
      @AldRyX1 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

      Most bullshit thing I've ever heard💀

    • @JiriZeGenie
      @JiriZeGenie หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I wanna enjoy my life instead of being controlled by a school which is designed to squeeze kids out of their souls and humanity.

    • @sphereplays
      @sphereplays หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      I feel you bro. The angriest my dad ever was, which I very clearly remember was on November 12, 2022. 2 days after my birthday. Why did he get angry? for one of the stupidest things you will ever hear. "I didn't eat my chicken wings with a fork." I told him, "why would I do that? it would be so hard to eat with that." After that while I continued to eat, For the remainder of the dinner, My dad was criticizing and making fun of me and ranting how I didn't eat with it with my mom. When I started crying because of how harsh he was being over something so stupid, he shouted at me so loudly and dragged my upstairs. When I went to confront him, I was so angry that when I talked, he thought I was talking nonsense. He then accused me that I can't speak, Im dumb and a bad boy, and said I had to say sorry to him?? WHAT??? My dad was so aggressive that my mom was begging him to stop, but he overpowered her. after that, I made sure to tell everyone in my school and almost anyone I knew about what he had done. When he eventually found out I was telling people about this horrible behavior, he punished me even more. threatening to remove me from my current school if I didn't do (I forgot cause this was 2 years ago). Yeah, my experience.

    • @RnR382
      @RnR382 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@sphereplays Woah damn bro. sorry to hear that.

  • @OliverPrime-j7c
    @OliverPrime-j7c หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    THIS IS SOOOOOO RELATABLE AS A CHINESE GUY FROM CANADA!!
    I am so glad that someone posted this online, it helps a lot!
    Lucky me, we are a family of 6, so my parents are getting tired of parenting so they loosen up the "work harder or you are worthless" method of parenting, and because they realize the cons of parenting like this.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Good to hear that at least your parents are different in that sense

    • @turtlefeesh
      @turtlefeesh 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I'm a Chinese girl from Canada and this is also so relatable! My parents did all of that tiger parent bs to me, but once they found out I was borderline s**cidal a few years ago due to not being able to meet their sky-high expectations 100% of the time (I literally believed their life would be a lot better without me, that was how bad the abuse got at its peak). They've since made a lot of adjustments to their parenting methods so the same doesn't happen to my younger sister, and while it's still not nearly as good as I'd like it to be, I do appreciate their effort in admitting their shortcomings and trying to improve.

  • @Noob3P1C
    @Noob3P1C 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    dude you werent yapping, you were pouring your heart out into this one video, good job

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Glad you think that!

  • @Andyli-fk9sz
    @Andyli-fk9sz 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +96

    Even if my parents are both chinese, I was never really pushed as hard as you say. One of the reasons my dad moved to Canada was because he disliked the educational system back in China and how strict many parents were.

  • @Ebba-767
    @Ebba-767 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +63

    It's not you brother, it's your family
    You're still young you still have time to change
    It's not over

    • @mitchsarusad3999
      @mitchsarusad3999 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Im just trying to diversify my portfolio to move out of my emotionally abusive parents

    • @mitchsarusad3999
      @mitchsarusad3999 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Hope your parents never retire and work till they collapse man

    • @mitchsarusad3999
      @mitchsarusad3999 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Hope you are doing good now man

  • @abdurazizsautos7178
    @abdurazizsautos7178 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +252

    I can relate to this. I'm Asian myself and during my high school summers, I used to take every summer course possible to get ahead of others just to feel good of being ahead. It didn't make much of a difference at the end of the day because when school started, I was half-way burnt out already.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

      Yeah lmao those summer courses are wild. I didn't know u had a similar story, and nice to hear from u as always.

    • @AVfr33b33studios
      @AVfr33b33studios หลายเดือนก่อน

      ⁠@@official_awei I had a similar story with you too, but when I have enough money, i would marry a non-Asian women.

  • @retrozip
    @retrozip 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +123

    "All play and no work, makes Johnny a dull boy. All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy"

    • @ictoan79
      @ictoan79 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Balance is key.

    • @RealRatification
      @RealRatification 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @ictoan79 fact 🔥

  • @edwardchang2210
    @edwardchang2210 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +289

    had the same childhood. I'm glad we survived brother.

    • @slendermanlgc8245
      @slendermanlgc8245 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Must of been hard. Props to you for living in this childhood

    • @dggetyy2056
      @dggetyy2056 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I never thought of caring for other people but now i care about people that have pressure

    • @McsKlee._7
      @McsKlee._7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Bro, I don't think I'd survive😢

    • @edwardchang2210
      @edwardchang2210 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @ you’ll have a personality disorder but you’ll survive

  • @trwn87
    @trwn87 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +191

    I’m not even Asian but I lived through the same nonetheless. Beware or traditional Spanish-speaking families, many of them are literally just like that! And I know it from experience! The parallels are just ridiculous… My parents too bubble themselves into social circles of immigrants.
    But speaking of myself, I am 17 now and I have several traumas. It reached the point of becoming suicidal and having to move out of my parents’ home just so I could start healing again. I relate with so much: The piano classes which I dropped from really quick, supposedly having to live up to an image of perfection and so much more. And my parents also told me not to be like other children who “waste their time having friends”, as they used to say. So to this day, I struggle with any kind of social interaction. And the fact that I was bullied before by people who were jealous at me for being “so perfect” makes all of this so much worse.
    And contrarily to my parent’s expectations, they made it harder for me to achieve these things on purpose just so they had a reason to punish me because it literally made them happy. Yes, that’s right, it literally makes them happy to hurt their own children!
    Unfortunately, my mind has become more and more like my parents and my siblings literally copied my parents’ terrible behavior. It was only when I was 15 that I discovered philosophy, read a dystopian book in English class and came freshly back from the Covid pandemic that I realized I was just following my parents’ steps naïvely and blindly. I am very happy to be out of this now, but I have to admit, the consequences are severe!
    This video essentially encapsulates my life so far, despite coming from an entirely different cultural and geographical background. You might be saving lives with this video, and saying that isn’t even exaggerated! I mean it, you are a life-saver for some people for sure!
    Greetings from Germany. And to anyone who reads this, please don’t kill yourself!

    • @meriambenabdallah9495
      @meriambenabdallah9495 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I'm glad you've gotten better and are breaking the cycle.

    • @trwn87
      @trwn87 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@meriambenabdallah9495 Thank you! Though to be honest, I feel like I didn‘t just yet. I need to do more.

    • @Kreshura-tm5rb
      @Kreshura-tm5rb หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      ​@@trwn87 well,you may have broke the cycle, because the first step is to realize that you're acting the way your parents are, and so you successfully did it, hopefully you can continue it and heal completely from your trauma!

    • @vladislovasjurgutis
      @vladislovasjurgutis 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      I'm glad you are better now . "" Punish me because it literally made them happy '' that is messed up .

    • @meriambenabdallah9495
      @meriambenabdallah9495 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @vladislovasjurgutis I know it's sick 🤢

  • @sussybakkah
    @sussybakkah 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +59

    My Asian parents are not nearly as strict as other Asian parents, which i'm rlly thankful for

    • @toamatanui1348
      @toamatanui1348 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Same

    • @Flipaca
      @Flipaca หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Yeah same

    • @arandomperson3757
      @arandomperson3757 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      same here

    • @haixed1
      @haixed1 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Same

    • @reginaldgatchalian9365
      @reginaldgatchalian9365 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Same for me here, am 12 turning 13 in 2 days, well my parents aren't that strict, so am lucky.

  • @Ur_nepali_gurl-adi
    @Ur_nepali_gurl-adi 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +241

    I’m kinda lucky I have Asian parents that don’t get mad if I have bad grades unless i get like a 0 on a test which I wouldn’t get,but I get to pick activities I want to do

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

      Haha sounds pretty reasonable

    • @xXBlossomBearXx
      @xXBlossomBearXx 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Well im not even asian but im West Indian but i get 80s and 90s sometimes but rarely hundreds and i have like a 75% in 7th grade math 😃💀
      At least my parents are a little proud 😅😅😅

    • @notsochill10
      @notsochill10 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Dude I am so jealous they lecture me for getting a question wrong

    • @notsochill10
      @notsochill10 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      My parents are Filipino

    • @pvzgamerlegisniana6492
      @pvzgamerlegisniana6492 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      ​@@xXBlossomBearXx india is in asia

  • @cjplx
    @cjplx 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +83

    Sorry to hear this bro. Your video about physics spoke to me. It is very brave to speak about how you were wronged by your parents, and I hope you can find healing and discover your true sense of self.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Really appreciate the message!

  • @mankisito
    @mankisito 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +81

    Very good narration. I went through something similar. I am old now. I was never able to recover and have lived alone in the countryside with my dog for the past 22 years. I regret spending the time and effort attempting to become somewhat normal and fit in society and trying find a partner.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Wow that sounds rough. It is tough to fit into society after going through this kind of stuff, I've experienced it as well. I hope u are finding some peace out in nature tho

    • @mankisito
      @mankisito 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @official_awei Yes I love my place. Ones a week I go to town but after 2 or 3 hours I can't wait for the bus to arrive and take me back to my place.

    • @ENOURMOUSSCALE
      @ENOURMOUSSCALE หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@official_awei but sometimes what make the parenting etc worse are the asshole kid who thinks they are better than u

  • @91722854
    @91722854 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +100

    1:59, a huge problem is people keep buiying into the mindset of that "oh there is a course, send them to that course", isntead of just letting the child play and develop and try out their own cocktail to really appreciate their abilty to create and not just copy and paste, this is how you turn a potential Mozart to a regular normie

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

      Exactly. Better to let people develop based on their own unique strengths and interests than trying to manufacture "success" in a copy and paste kind of way.

    • @91722854
      @91722854 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      @@official_awei I'm Chinese too bro, from HK, piano was also forced upon me and my mum kept gaslighting me that it was me who asked to take piano lessons but I had no memory of it, she did it just to guilt trip me for not playing a certain amount of hours each day and passing those exams, even though engineering has always been my passion, they at the point of application to uni, tried to just fit me into the norm of civil engineering that is the norm in HK for stable government job with good pay, which wasn't my interest at all and I'm glad I did for once discard their shadow on me and changed it to mechanical engineering, despite I think I would enjoy physics more, among my many other interests, I had to fight the people whom are supposed to provide support instead of shoving me into the manufacture line

    • @NetarAlt
      @NetarAlt 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I used to have an ambition for becoming an architect, but since my father decided to be dumb and hit me for no reason. I decided to revenge myself by becoming a political leader in the future.

    • @FacelessBillions
      @FacelessBillions 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@NetarAlt so you will send him to jail or sum? thats the greatest revenge ever

  • @rampampamparamparam2288
    @rampampamparamparam2288 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +139

    I'm eastern european and my mother was high demanding. Children here mostly start learning reading at 7 years old and obviously sometimes it takes a year to perfect those abilities. My mother was beating the shit out of me for not being able to read when i was 4. I was at kindergarden that time and just started to learn letters and after school she was beating me and pushing me to praktice, sometimes for bad answer she would lock me in the dark living room for like 30 minutes up to hour. All vacationes i had to read childrens books. Therefore i started to read very fluently when I was 4. During school she was beating me for being bad at math but she herself didn't know how to teach me so she was unsuccessful. I had to be the best student in the class and one of the best in my primary school where there were 1000 students. Through beating, mental violence and giving tons of punishment i was at the top of my primary school, middle school, even highschool. I developed depression when I was 17. I didn't have friends during highand middle school bcs nobody wanted to befriend ugly nerd girl who couldn't go to the club/party/cinema bcs she had to study. Bcs of my mother's high standards i passed not good enough my highschool exams (bcs I had to be the best at EVERY class i was unable to focus only on subjects i wanted to pass during exams). I obviously didn't go to study medicine but medical biotechnology so she was complaining all the time even if again i was the best at course. She was laughing and punishing me so much for my low passed chemistry highschool exam. Fast forward i am now 24 and doing phD in chemistry (which i started to love), i moved to another city and life's much better but sometimes i wish i could cut contact with my controlling mother for at least few months bcs i can't stand her when she's calling or visiting

    • @MATEITHEBOY
      @MATEITHEBOY 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      Well, if you can live autonomously(dunno how to write that word) you can just block her and not let her in

    • @lightnightray3580
      @lightnightray3580 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I feel bad about you girl...

    • @D8OfficialMusic
      @D8OfficialMusic 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      She really isn’t your mother. A mother teaches, nourishes, unconditionally loves and appreciates their kid and disciplines appropriately. She should be behind bars.

    • @princessmarlena1359
      @princessmarlena1359 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      My sympathies. I wouldn’t have blamed you for doing an impression of the Menendez brothers on her.

    • @azurevlogslegit
      @azurevlogslegit 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      can't you keep her out of your house?

  • @Bananasmz
    @Bananasmz 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +89

    My dad’s friend died because of the pressure like this forced on him that’s why now my parents know not to treat me like this. And want to give me the fullest of life. My parents put only a slight bit of pressure on me to get good grades but if I get bad grades they just help me review it and understand it

    • @Insanearc
      @Insanearc 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Seriously??? I tried searching up articles of similar sorts but I couldn't find anything even remotely similar to someone dying from pressure like that. That must have been some EXTREME stress dude.
      Edit: I think I understand what "died from pressure" means now.

    • @happyyt266
      @happyyt266 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@Insanearc I think he means self deletion.

    • @Felix-lo4wl
      @Felix-lo4wl 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@happyyt266 suicide should be the word

    • @HATE-ALL-HUMANS
      @HATE-ALL-HUMANS 18 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ​@@happyyt266 exactly

    • @FacelessBillions
      @FacelessBillions 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@Insanearc yeah, he hit the "reset character" button

  • @derscalsnihongojanai
    @derscalsnihongojanai 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +51

    just wow I am also asian and I can relate to most of what you said to a certain extent. Where I live, everyone wants their child to be the best and my biggest misfortune was that I realized this toxicity late because everyone was Asian and everyone worked hard like I did (There were almost no children in the playgrounds because they were attending the weekend courses you mentioned.) so I didn't have to look at other kids and compare myself. After learning English, I discovered the other side of TH-cam and everyone was talking about Asian parenting and it was really shocking because I had never thought of it like that before. Now I am a senior in high school and this time i can truly feel my parent support It wasn't easy to get to this point. There were a lot of fights and disappointments, but it's better than nothing.

    • @scienceandartclub
      @scienceandartclub 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I am Asain but not really Asian. Like my parents were supportive of me getting a B sometimes. Now they remove letter grades. Like I have a hard time in school. I grew up only with only 1 parrent. Like when I do a DNA test I am 10% Eroupean.
      Also people say you don't look Asain your eyes are big. Like my parents didn't force me to do anything just what I could do. I grew up very religious though.

    • @FacelessBillions
      @FacelessBillions 12 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      learning english when you come from a non english country just opens up your mind so damn much lol

  • @Charles-sg9zu
    @Charles-sg9zu 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +94

    If I have a kid in the future, I will try to find ways to make revisions as fun as playing games. I hope I can find ways to release dopamine while studying.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      That's a great approach

    • @NetarAlt
      @NetarAlt 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Me too

    • @TheDragonfriday
      @TheDragonfriday 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Remembered take control the internet necer let them go lose... never know what they do there

    • @NetarAlt
      @NetarAlt 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@TheDragonfriday agreed, because i have seen a community where minors commit crimes

    • @lolguydabozz
      @lolguydabozz หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@TheDragonfriday Mhm

  • @georgejburnett129
    @georgejburnett129 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

    Just signed up for your Patreon. You went through hell and are stronger because of it. You are helping and will help a lot of young people. You’re an inspiration, brother.
    Left this comment on the last video, but it got buried (a good sign-a lot of people are watching your vids!).

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Thanks so much man, I actually messaged u on there!

  • @notsochill10
    @notsochill10 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    I’m sorry how you didn’t get to do these things as I was heavily pushed on grades. I would get 1 question wrong and I would get a lecture. My mom preferred me to be perfect, but she is still a good mom and we still have fun! Thanks for telling me this so now every kid that doesn’t want to talk I try to help them because I know something bad happened.

  • @karlangas000
    @karlangas000 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

    You are so brave for sharing your story❤I have been in a similar journey of detaching my self-worth from academic performance, it is tough. Sending love from the DR🇩🇴

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Love the DR! Best to you on your journey

  • @Tulxo
    @Tulxo หลายเดือนก่อน +30

    I have to admit, some pressure on you to succeed isn't much of a big deal. Everyone can handle some pressure which is OK, but sometimes parents really want to take it to a new level and give you a LOT more pressure which can just ruin you and your health. I'm sorry that you went through that, hope you are doing well now :D

    • @FacelessBillions
      @FacelessBillions 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      its like Asian parents dont realize that the chances of their child being intellectually gifted are not 98%

    • @Tulxo
      @Tulxo 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@FacelessBillions fr

  • @user-js2sv
    @user-js2sv หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Your life is short and time is limited, don't waste it living someone else's life. It's truly saddening to see how many people nowadays are being ruined by harsh and bad parenting. Raising a child should be genuinely caring for their well-being and desires, not training them to be the perfect trophy that you can show off to others. I'm so glad you managed to break free of the restraints your parents put on you and rediscover what truly means to you in life. Wish you the best in life and hope you can find peace and comfort, you deserve it.❤

  • @minimoog1600
    @minimoog1600 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +209

    the ai pictures r killing me

    • @Bananasmz
      @Bananasmz 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      Fr

    • @DreamyyArt
      @DreamyyArt 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      The sick one 😭

    • @frxsteddd
      @frxsteddd 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      i mean he said he was forced to and quit art so thats not suprising 😭😭

    • @glitchbro4846
      @glitchbro4846 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You pfp is killing me😂

    • @XavierSpoiledFrog4053
      @XavierSpoiledFrog4053 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      The ai pictures is not the point

  • @reviathan3524
    @reviathan3524 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    I'm 30 now, and I'm still feeling the effects of their parenting.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I hope things get better for u

  • @Slasla1610
    @Slasla1610 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +50

    I think the AI photos look so artificial but the video is so heart breaking.

    • @Bananasmz
      @Bananasmz 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      That’s the thing ai photos are artificial

    • @Byte179
      @Byte179 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      No it isn't

    • @gamingongames2
      @gamingongames2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Bananasmz almost like AI means artificial intelligence!

  • @hli3385
    @hli3385 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +56

    My Asian parents support what I do, if I want to do something for fun, then they’ll let me

    • @fire_haven_wubbox
      @fire_haven_wubbox 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      probably the same

    • @Bananasmz
      @Bananasmz 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Same

    • @atsuucore
      @atsuucore 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Same

    • @Dreadvr0711
      @Dreadvr0711 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same.

    • @QuestionableGuyThatQuestions
      @QuestionableGuyThatQuestions 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same but they do put a bit of pressure on me before the exams for me to study

  • @ANDREAMELOCUNHA
    @ANDREAMELOCUNHA 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    as a 10 year old i couldn't even think of such horrible parenting, I get 9's and 10's and 8's but I'm terribly sorry for your childhood, imagine having to 100% every test or else you think you are an idiot, I'm so sorry, like really

    • @ictoan79
      @ictoan79 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Your parents are raising you great.

  • @rolandkarimdesucatan5118
    @rolandkarimdesucatan5118 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    I grew up in philippines, technically an asian but not as competitive as the others.
    Still, i found some of my classmates crying that they really need grades despite seeming like the average filipino.
    I myself never felt forced to do anything except chores and family events, and i never had friends to encourage or help me, so i pretty much laid back in school getting average grades that wouldnt give you a good job, at least until the final year of high school where i finally felt determined.

  • @LARADEKA
    @LARADEKA 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +87

    It ended with me hating my own family.
    And I won't sugarcoat it. I have SEVERE hatred to every single Asian species... Doesn't matter what country, this hatred I feel was the result of the upbringing I experienced... and then the cycle of denial and anger... made me question if my family did love me... genuinely.
    A word about them, and I try to be as polite and kind as possible. I don't wish any ill-will on any Asian who suffered like this too, but... this has to be called out, and as an African quote once said:
    "A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth."
    I know this falls into the category of abuse. No, this practice falls into abusive parenting. This is not culture. It's a breeding ground for abusive people.
    Look at the economy now. It's collapsing. What's this success gonna do, when we CAN'T EVEN FIND A GOOD PAYING JOB, IN A HORRIBLE DEN OF LIARS?
    7:36 - This is catching on to me. Fast. I lose these "proper soft skills" needed to talk to people, because all my comfort zone was inside my brain. It was an escape from EVERYTHING, not responsibility and facing maturity, but from family and the rest of the world. It was almost overwhelming, to the point I rather want everyone to just disappear... and have me live.
    The greatest irony is the Asian parents asking "Why I can't talk to people properly?" Well, who do you think locked me up inside and forced me to keep studying, when I am OLD enough to crave for social interaction myself?

    • @Influence417
      @Influence417 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      Being bigoted is bad and all, but at least you have an understandable and sympathetic reason to be racist.

    • @princessmarlena1359
      @princessmarlena1359 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      Understandable. Academics don’t teach anything but how to memorize useless facts such as “The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” long enough to pass a test, or to hate writing term papers. Nothing useful to learn for the most part. Grades just reflect your ability to memorize information and how obedient you can be.

    • @LARADEKA
      @LARADEKA 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      @princessmarlena1359 That's a dark turn.
      Funny how we were taught not to worry about mere numbers, but then Asia is NOTORIOUS for worrying about social status and literally everything.

    • @luisshorts.
      @luisshorts. 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      I feel it’s a cycle really, because I know those parents growing up got the same treatment from their parents, so now they do the same parenting to their children, and also since they are talking to other parents like them, they don’t realize that this parenting is not good

    • @LARADEKA
      @LARADEKA 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@luisshorts. It gets dark pretty fast, I can tell. Just feeding the trauma until what? Until society collapses?
      No one has even brought actual parenting education to the continent, and if they do, it's gonna be shrugged off as some "Western propaganda" or something.

  • @SonicthehedgehogChildawgs
    @SonicthehedgehogChildawgs หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    And then they all just say “I spent so much money on all this education and you’re not even appreciating it”

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Top tier gaslighting right there

    • @TheLoafboi
      @TheLoafboi หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      “I didn’t ask to be here”

    • @thaeling8212
      @thaeling8212 24 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I can totally relate to that.

  • @seanshong2048
    @seanshong2048 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +75

    As a Korean American raised under near identical circumstances. It’s worse when both of your sisters got accepted into Harvard and your parents are expressing disappointment at thanksgiving dinner requesting you apply for bachelors degree so they can complete the set of 3 Harvard educated children. Despite being 28years old, an officer in the army reserves and having a PharmD.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

      I mean congrats to ur sisters but wow those Thanksgivings must be rough

    • @princessmarlena1359
      @princessmarlena1359 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I wouldn’t blame you for rebelling and dropping out altogether, “living in a van down by the river”.

    • @IDK-no7od
      @IDK-no7od หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      i think you're very educated and successful, and thank you for doing important work (i assume as a pharmacist with the military? idk, i'm curious about that). i wonder why some parents obsess so much over specific universities when the world is so big.

  • @Manicthecreator
    @Manicthecreator 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    My Asian parents are the kind who care very much about my grades but they acctually help me in a good way they acctually help me get good grades unlike other Asian parents am thankful to them

    • @FacelessBillions
      @FacelessBillions 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      if a parent is gonna put a lot of pressure on their kids for them to get good grades, they (the parents) should at least be able to help their kids understand the subjects and stuff too

    • @Manicthecreator
      @Manicthecreator 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @ they do

  • @name-ok2cp
    @name-ok2cp 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    I think what it is is the immigrant mentality honestly, like alot of chinese parents immigrated to America with little money and had to fight hard to survive, and that they want to secure their kids a stable and/or secure future. My parents have given up on me honestly, they just tell me that "I can't blame them in the future for not pushing me hard enough". This has made it pretty clear that they want the best for me, as I've made it clear that I wouldn't put any blame on them and they haven't really cared much.
    I think your parents are definitely very on the extremist side of things though, as I never ended up calling the cops on them or anything like that.
    Good video- it really inspires me to do something I'm passionate about and not just something held to a high regard by society- though I haven't found thing that yet.

  • @paolaanimator
    @paolaanimator 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    I’m so sorry that happened to you. I hope now you get to take care of yourself and you get to do the things you love with no pressure. I was always an A+ student and got through University, but I was very hard on myself. I wanted to prove to others I’m smart, creative and can be successful. I make sure to spend time with friends or family now. I’d say my career got off to a rocky start due to the crappy job market but at least I am working multiple jobs. I am planning to study a STEM subject and hoping it will lead to better opportunities. Of course, I will make sure to take breaks and not pressure myself too much.

  • @3linesinthemiddle495
    @3linesinthemiddle495 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    When I was in 5th grade, I had a natural talent for playing the trumpet. My band director requested I get extra lessons beside school. It was EXACTLY the same thing you described for your piano lessons only it was for trumpet, it killed my ability to play with confidence. all it managed to do was make me the slightest bit better and give me anxiety about talking one on one with another teacher. I still play the trumpet, but it's just not as fun as it used to be. I'm waiting till something fun happens.

  • @RichardDong68
    @RichardDong68 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

    The only time you should ever be FORCED to do art is if you're doing commissions, and even then, you always have the choice to deny the client if you're not comfortable drawing what they want.

  • @Friends-k18
    @Friends-k18 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I’m 12 and Vietnamese right now, I used to love playing piano when I was 5, but after my parents took me to classes and trying to get me into recitals for piano, I didn’t want to do the recitals. My parents would compare me to any other kid that was smart. And told me, to study all the time and hated grades that are under 90% or 80 something percent. They stopped for a while by now but like Alex Wei, I put so much pressure on myself on a assignment, test, project or anything. I always feel like if I dont do well I will fail in life and will end up like a failure in life. I try to study stuff my teacher haven’t even talked about or from a different grade, I try to get it out of my mind but I can’t. I can’t explain how I’m feeling at all.
    If u feel pressured to do something in life you are not even interested in, why do it? Don’t wait until u pressure urself to do something even if it doesn’t matter at all. (Sorry if my grammar is not good, English is my second language) I hope everyone has a good day.❤

  • @indospinus3747
    @indospinus3747 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Thanks for speaking!!
    Even if I didn't pass through this (being Italian), it makes me not sad and neither horrified, but hopeless that this problem wouldn't be talked too much.
    Hearing you, I feel like this will open the eyes of people.
    I hope you now live a happy and plenty life and mostly you can now focus on yourself and your new passions.
    I am sorry for what was happened to you.
    Your sincerely
    Indospinus

  • @bjorna.147
    @bjorna.147 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    My mom is fully Chinese/Asian but she is very nice, I get full score on my test. But i don’ feel stressed at all. And my mom is very nice and cares about me and wants to make me happy.

  • @Purpleblackviolet
    @Purpleblackviolet 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Not asian, but ive also gone thru some terrible shit because of my parents. World's crazy man

  • @airfishistastyyumyum
    @airfishistastyyumyum หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I am so sorry to hear that you had to go thru all of that. The fact that the way your parents treated you was so severe that it left a mark on you and gave you the belief to just continue pushing yourself over your limits. And for people who are concerned for the kids of Asian households, you don't have to worry because I grew up with a normal childhood without getting pushed to excel academically, only having to do up to my best to make me and my parents proud. I could imagine the trauma left on the children treated like that, Asian or not. Parents like that are shitty parents, making children do things for their own satisfaction. I'm glad that there's lot's of help for badly treated kids in my area. I hope you were able to recover from that, and everyone should be pursuing their passions and dreams. Cheers from Singapore !!

  • @knw-seeker6836
    @knw-seeker6836 16 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    “The children playing on the playground will end up homeless in the future”
    This is brutal
    Society interestingly never tells or shows you how to be successful or a winner in life rather than good grades, good job and all the nice material stuff

  • @jroseme
    @jroseme 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

    You’re on a good path now man. Playing catch-up with social skills is brutal but just keep at it. I’m happy to hear that you woke up now instead of years into a career that was draining your soul so there’s at least that…though I’m sure you feel like you’ve lost a lot of time. All the societal pressure to perform at a high-level is so stupid when you really look into it. Like then, what? We all just collectively get better and work harder to outcompete each other and see who can be the most miserable? Line must go up?! 😂 humans need to evolve past this. There’s gotta be more to life. Anyways, just a rant of a comment for the algo.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Very well said, and much appreciated.

  • @kyor1806
    @kyor1806 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Dude I feel like I’m looking at a male older East Asian version of my life because our lives are literally the same; I’m just lucky that my parents calmed down earlier. I am so sorry that shit happened to you, I know it’s crushing to be bombarded with bullshit expectation to the next. Even the whole parents thing, I know that too. I hope you’re doing better now :)

  • @alessandromoselt6485
    @alessandromoselt6485 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Going through the same thing, all I can say is thank you. I feel a bit less lonely going through this

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      You are not alone!

  • @lilifernyc
    @lilifernyc 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +50

    Dear all Asian kids going thru this - Tell your parents this. My unemployed 57 year old Chinese sibling is an Ivy Phd with an MBA to boot. Sibling put their family on the back burner and prioritized academics. Sibling parented their children the same way they were parented - like the poor guy in the video. Sibling's spouse divorced them and the kids refuse to be in contact with them. Alas, their inability to socialize and be a team player eroded career prospects. That fancy PhD cost so much and I am not talking dollars.

    • @pringlestick2620
      @pringlestick2620 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      That’s horrible, I hope their doing okay right now, sending lots of love and recovery to them and all the things they lost 🫂

    • @princessmarlena1359
      @princessmarlena1359 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I’ve heard of this happening even to non Asians. So sick of parents who expect the world of their kids just to satisfy their own egos or because they went through this abuse and think it’s okay to do it to their own kids.

    • @123asap6
      @123asap6 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@princessmarlena1359 It is even worse than you think because many of these parents are terminally insecure about their own failures and project it on to their own kids. In the case of asians it is even worse as there is this stigma against getting professional mental health counseling because to them it translates as "You are one step closer to going to a mental ward and locked up in a cell" when in reality it is just talking to someone who will give you suggestions to change your lifestyle for the better.
      Insecurity is one of the leading mental health problems not in just asian kids but also in their parents to the point that it is a genuine health crisis, but no one knows because all of those afflicted are just keeping it bottled up due to the stigma, until one of them finally snaps. This is how you get these "revenge against society" attacks and people who let the intrusive thoughts win. You know it is bad when a kid literally tied their mother to a chair as revenge for all the stuff they went through because of their parents pushing them to the brink. And the worst part? The kid just up and left her bound in that chair to expire two weeks later because thats how little their parents mean to them after all that was done to them by the parents.

    • @SandraMehmet
      @SandraMehmet 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      So what's the PhD doing now? Tell us more.

    • @nonelikekarl
      @nonelikekarl 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

      my parents gona tell me that its just a minority and if im smart enough im not gonna ended up like that... I feel it man not everyone can be better just by studyin

  • @omari2306
    @omari2306 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +36

    Bro you got my support, keep going, i belive that ibetween the age of 20 and 25 it's our time to discover ourselves, it's a whole process but it's worth it in the end. God bless you man, stay strong.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      So true... early 20s is definitely the time for that. Hope u are figuring things out as well!

    • @omari2306
      @omari2306 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @official_awei Indeed!

  • @tipi4816
    @tipi4816 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Schools also elsewhere do not promote creativity. But as adult you have a choice.

  • @Klisnir
    @Klisnir หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    my parents were somewhat like this (i'm from vietnam). Pressuring about studies, long piano lessons, etc. But they all did this because they loved me wholeheartedly. They wanted me to try new things, be more proactive, make more friends. Asides from studying alot, they would also encourage me to go outside and talk to people, socalize. And i love them for it. All in all, my asian parents are on the fine line of strict asian and healthy supportive parents

  • @minaphuon
    @minaphuon หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I'm an Asian, and yes. Asian's parents are very strict. I lose my confident and dream since i was 6. I'm now just 12. I'm like being the class' 1st quiet kid and I don't like that. I always try to be confident and outgoing so I can have more friends, *but i can't,* I lose myself.

  • @peterdingle5128
    @peterdingle5128 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Wow this is just sad. to any one who had Asian parents I am incredibly sorry for all the stuff you enjoyed as a child being ruined.

  • @queefisafunnyword
    @queefisafunnyword 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I broke down in tears just hearing this video. It was on autoplay too. Yeah, its silly but honestly, people need to hear this, as we all have shitty experiences with families and some form of hardship but, to be able to relate point blank, of course its gonna hit.
    Thanks for this video.

  • @YiTianJanonSim
    @YiTianJanonSim 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I am literally Asian and my dad said the exact same thing "people who are playing around will never succeed in life " that was what my dad constantly says he also compared to me to other kids

    • @thunderchief7256
      @thunderchief7256 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He does have a point, though.

    • @autovip1239
      @autovip1239 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@thunderchief7256i really hope this is a joke

    • @thunderchief7256
      @thunderchief7256 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@autovip1239 The quote I agree with, the methods, however, aren’t ok.

  • @luxithegoose4682
    @luxithegoose4682 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I love your video so much teaching a valuable lesson. The lesson I have learned is to challenge ourselves a little outside comfort zone with the right mindset without taking unnecessary risks. I have two Chinese parents who are software engineers, but I want to grow up and become an anesthesiologist and choreographer because I am not really competitive with what I love to do. Instead, I believe in collaboration of expressing our best self. My parents now support what I love doing as my majors.

  • @Patriot_Plays
    @Patriot_Plays 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    inspiring. good luck bro, you'll make it

  • @ZAND4TSU
    @ZAND4TSU 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +57

    You're smart, but you were never given the validation.

  • @TheFedora-on8dc
    @TheFedora-on8dc 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I'm so grateful for my parents.

  • @hyperman5300
    @hyperman5300 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I also had the same childhood too, but my mental issue makes it like 1000x worse. So glad we all survived together
    Btw sometimes teachers and parents will suck the joy out of things you love

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Facts, and glad you also made it out

  • @newyarmotheracc
    @newyarmotheracc 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    im asian, and my parents dont do that, but i am SO sorry for what you were going thru. with art it was kinda my elementary schools fault because the school forced us to do art to fill up one period. because my parents werent strict in middle school (right now) i got student of the month this week. this should be an example of what asian parents should be like. not the immigrant mentality of "if you arent perfect you are out". thank you for this video, this really humbled me as an asian person.

    • @newyarmotheracc
      @newyarmotheracc 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      TYPO i meant to add a comma between strict and in.

  • @EmilioGameair
    @EmilioGameair หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I'm hispanic, specifically from Mexico and my parents specially my mom used to be a bit too much strict but then realised how bad that can be and relaxed! And yes i can kinda relate to your story but not to that extreme, my parents sometimes without knowing kinda put a bit more pressure than necessary but not to that extreme thank God i had good chill Hispanic parents that aren't abusive like others

  • @MohiniPatel-t3m
    @MohiniPatel-t3m หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I am an Asian I feel your pain and may you have a life with peace

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hope you find peace as well

  • @DummyTofu_k01
    @DummyTofu_k01 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Im an Asian, I’m so grateful I have parents who actually support my efforts instead of overpressuring me. It’s crazy on how these parents are, heck! They DON’T deserve to be parents!

  • @leaffallclover
    @leaffallclover 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I am a South Korean and I was not raised like this, probably the opposite but I know few people around me who are raised such ways. Two of them, both are females, they always seem so tired all the time. I cannot imagine living without creating something I want to create and yet some of the people have literally nothing in their life but forced studies the entire day, it is saddening to watch that such parents still exist these days

  • @laziecatus7233
    @laziecatus7233 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    I think it also ties to the personality of us being genuinely competitive or not
    Tiger parents only works when a kid is competitive in literally everything.
    Most of us will be competitive in one or two things and laid back on many others
    Parents suppose to observe that and apply appropriate type of support, most importantly better ask their little half self whether or not we like to be competitive (tutor route) or laid back (stress reliever hobby route)
    So many parents failed to do that incuding mine.
    This video spoken the perfect example of that. Thanks for the vid man

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      That's a great point, it really depends on the individual

  • @Linda_skyler
    @Linda_skyler หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You just talked about my whole life in one video, I feel you buddy.... some asains are terrible 😢

  • @shinymew1213
    @shinymew1213 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    this video was very insightful. thankyou for sharing your experience, I often get jealous of people who seem to have it all together but someone being honest about how they feel has made me realize some of the things you were internalizing I have also been internalizing though I wasn't experiencing the level of side effects you were. I hope your future is bright and that you are able to find things that inspire you and make you enjoy working hard and that you don't peruse them out of insecurity.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Thanks for the well wishes, and same to you. Very few of us truly have it all figured out, we're all just trying out best. So you're not alone!

  • @lingcassiel6462
    @lingcassiel6462 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    My father always told me It’s all for your own good you struggle now you become the best in the future.
    Most of the smart kids in my school has suffered the same thing Like me it’s horrible

  • @SlaDaBlade
    @SlaDaBlade 11 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Now im feeling lucky because i didnt get strict as a asian

    • @Official_IamProGamer
      @Official_IamProGamer 11 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I’m also Asian and my parents aren’t that strict

  • @bbowjazz
    @bbowjazz หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Dude, I totally applaud your vulnerability and willingness to share so transparently here. However, I think there are millions of young people around the world who would love to be in your situation. Regardless of the regrets you might have about your childhood and adolescence, and late teens in terms of so much academic focus, you possess in your brain a tremendous repository of mathematical and rigorous scientific problem-solving skills. Although you technically might not be a genius, you have a background that sets you up for basically any future you want.

    • @bbowjazz
      @bbowjazz หลายเดือนก่อน

      … And if it matters I spent 40 years in tech, retiring as a Distinguished Engineer. However, I had to struggle from a very humble, sub-optimal education background, some physical challenges and a family situation that did not provide needed structure and discipline like yours did. It sounds like your parents were extreme and that’s not good. Mine split when I was 13 and the drama surrounding that negatively impacted my ability to have the disciplined and consistent study that would’ve made me a much better student ad opened up much better college opportunities.

  • @xector5055
    @xector5055 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    ''Its always a competition, its always about how well you do, not how much you enjoy doing it''. That is life bro.

  • @joe_z
    @joe_z 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I think my parents held the same ideals for me when I was younger like yours did, but they never pushed me nearly as hard and I'm grateful for that. (The parents who succeed at pushing their kids that hard expect that they'll be grateful 10 or 20 years down the line for that success when they're adults, not realizing that they're setting themselves up for the exact opposite about 99% of the time.)
    They did also nag me about school and constantly showed me examples of students who made the local Chinese community news they thought should be my role models, doing things like getting 99% or 100% averages on their high-school transcripts - but luckily I was strong-minded enough to not take that nagging seriously, especially because I had my own pursuits to focus on.
    I think it was partially because my parents never _pushed_ me to go to my art classes but rather held them open for my interest that I picked up art for its own sake again around the age of 12 to 13, and am still doing it to this day. Similarly, their pushing me to pass a full course of piano exams was more about getting me to finish what I'd started, to commit to what I'd already set out to do. And so when I got bored of that, there was no traumatic resentment around the subject that would make me never want to do it again.
    I started developing my core interests around the age of 15, which slowly shaped into what I do today. I also started to develop an anti-competitive attitude because I saw how destructive competition had been to so many people's lives, plus I just plain didn't like how antagonistic it was. Even in my current work I don't aspire to compete with anyone to reach the highest title of anything - instead, I want to connect my individual passions to the people who will value that individuality, doing things that nobody's done before. And I know those people exist, if only because so many of my projects have _already_ introduced ideas and made connections that most people would never have thought of, even if I haven't been able to make use of them for something "legitimate" (i.e. marketable) yet. I'm just starting that stage now.

  • @Successfulnation.
    @Successfulnation. 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    From loving it to trauma that's me.

  • @meme_senc
    @meme_senc หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I remember when I was very little, my parents would tell me "if I did something wrong or say something wrong, God would strike me down and put me in hell when I died" this scared the life out of me when I was a kid. This just made me go to church because I didnt want God to be mad at me, I was scared that God will punish me if I would do something "bad".

  • @Ego_bruh
    @Ego_bruh 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    as a asian my mom was from Thailand and my mom is like ok as long as you try your best and don't get a F - I'm good. my parents gave me so much freedom bro.

  • @jhors7777
    @jhors7777 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thank you for posting this video and your honesty. Best wishes to you in everything in life.

  • @KendricPhua
    @KendricPhua หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I'm asian. My mother was always bragging, nagging, compare me to others who are better than me in my class. I was annoyed, I didn't had good grades throughout my life yet. But in the present, I feel like when they said " You will be successful by studying hard " seems like a attempt to push me, But little did they know. I was a heavy rock, unmovable, unpushable. yes, I do have a live and I do what i mostly like to and have good social skills but the way how she tries to brainwash me into thinking " Studying is success " seems unreliable. She believes that she is great just because she got straight As throughout her life, She might be academically smart but not in real life action. She had been scammed for a whole bunch of money, She was so naive and stupid, both my father and me were pissed off at her for believing such thing. Sometimes.. " Parents aren't always right about you, you could be more than meets the eye or not. " She pushed me to every english exams, thinking I was good, AND yes, I was good at English. Was always the top in english in both elementary and High. I believe that doing what you think that can make you WHO you really are is the REAL you in your life.

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well said, and thanks for sharing your story

  • @cakeplayz1476
    @cakeplayz1476 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Honestly, my parents are quite 'chill' compared to what you and others in the comments have said. But that piano part at the started just resonated. I remember going to listen to like this expert pianist when I was around 3-6 (can't remember), and after the concert, I told my parents that I 'wanted to be cool like him' too. Then, I started doing classes and piano exams. I did g3 and 5, getting merit and pass respectively. At that point, I was around 11 and I really disliked playing the piano. It felt more like a chore than something I could enjoy. Then, not even half a year later, I nearly full marked lv5 music theory with no prior exams (1-4). After another year, I passed grade 8. Sure, the result made me happy, but I've barely touched the piano since.

  • @selcukalpdai5962
    @selcukalpdai5962 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    First of all, I can relate myself to this situation at 2:35. Whenever I like something to do, my family just forces me to do it more and just start hating it so bad even though they aren't Asian entirely. Secondly, I used to love math in elementary school, but over the years, when I started seeing calculus math olympiad questions, very hard geometry questions that I could no longer solve it anymore etc. I just lost my appetite to interest and curiousity. I guess, I'm quite failure not being able to adapt what I used to like. Anyway, thank you for your video. I really appreciate it.

  • @NootNootMenguin
    @NootNootMenguin หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Same here school was everything to me and my parents were nothing to me they would get mad at me when I was a little boy and do unimaginable things to me and get away with it. I was just a little kid and it breaks me thinking what did I do wrong as a little kid? They treated me terribly like I was nothing to them and even say things like “I wish you were never born” and other mean things. They ruined an important part of my life.
    I’m sorry you had to go through that I understand that pain.

  • @turtleboy2150
    @turtleboy2150 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    only through the first minute; just commenting for your sake and mine. Thanks for the video!

    • @Danilio.
      @Danilio. 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      💞

    • @official_awei
      @official_awei  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Ur a legend

  • @CalebD107
    @CalebD107 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Hey I’m Korean and my parents are really nice to me. They don’t care much about grades and school and they mostly focus on family and love to one another. But to my perspective, when I get a C or B on any exam I get, I feel very disappointed and upset but my parents think that it’s okay. My parents also want me to take an easy job in the future, but to what I want to be, I wanted to be a doctor or be an engineer. Even when my family and parents are so loving and kind, I, for some reason always discipline myself and force myself that I can do better in the future.

  • @BlueSkyCountry
    @BlueSkyCountry 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    There comes a day when most of us realize that we are nothing but bags of carbon compounds and water with a shelf life of roughly 70 years. No matter how high your math scores are or how skilled you are at playing piano, the Reaper comes for all.

    • @princessmarlena1359
      @princessmarlena1359 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Right on. 👍

    • @lorddumb21
      @lorddumb21 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's deep, 6 feet deep

  • @envixous_402
    @envixous_402 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is exactly what I'm facing right now. I've been pushed by my parents a lot to the point where this video is like a mirror to my soul. It's also at that mark where do my best not to show interest for anything to try to avoid the constant pressure and if I do have interests, I keep it to myself and pursue it through other means rather than asking my parents to help me pursue it, cause I'd get stuck in the same loop that Alex here faced

  • @alkadoessomething
    @alkadoessomething หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Honestly speaking, this video kind of brought me a little comfort

  • @Knightmare919
    @Knightmare919 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    What i hate about something i love doing is it becoming a chore it just kills the fun out of it.

  • @astrea4231
    @astrea4231 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    As an asian kid who grew up from a middle class family with family problems, I really want to live a life where parents would spent a huge amount of money for my interest and academic. I'd have lived a really good life if my parents can support this much. I guess different experience for different people. To me, money was the main problem in my life. My parents can't support much to my interests and academic. I have to worry about the uncertain future. I like programming and I learned coding since like 6th grade. I seriously start learning on programming in 16. One of my friends got interest into programming and started learning. Normally, you need to get a degree and go aboard. He got a degree and went aboard easily becuz his parents can support that much. I didn't cuz I have to support my family. Getting a degree takes a lot of money. I could have done so much things I wanted to if I had enough money. I'd perfer living your life instead of having to be careful of how much money I can use for eating.

    • @nonelikekarl
      @nonelikekarl 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

      ur the kind of kid that would be happy with academic learning but well most of us aren't like other ppl from other races we're not smarter just some exceptions only

  • @ScarScar_127A
    @ScarScar_127A 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    The piano one was truly relatable, when I was three, I joked around about having a piano at home and I would be so happy, eventually my parents heard that and gave me a piano as well, but also sent my to the lessons, thinking that once I have interest, I can succeed, but I started to fail, the teacher became harsh, and I gave up. But guess what, later on or maybe a few weeks later my mum noticed that a lot of my classmates are at least learning one kind of instruments, so she pushed me again to learn harp, I went to grade 5 eventually, but the thing is, I CANT read notes, why? Because they never taught me how to. And why can I pass the tests? Because they made me memorise four music pieces, I’m still having lessons now though, I hope I learn how to read notes some time later or maybe I’ll just stick like this

  • @Gurey7777
    @Gurey7777 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This is Literally Sooo True!

  • @starrush1818
    @starrush1818 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm praying for you, remember no matter how you do in school or grades or work or whatever that does not determine your worth, you have so much worth, more than you'll ever know, and I'm rooting for you!! ❤