Table News: Too Much Butter

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ต.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 639

  • @orionstickguard790
    @orionstickguard790 ปีที่แล้ว +1346

    I love New York's response to the Governments saying murder is still illegal.

    • @eldorados_lost_searcher
      @eldorados_lost_searcher ปีที่แล้ว +63

      I mean, what are you gonna do? Outlaw gardening?

    • @auroraofclanborealis
      @auroraofclanborealis ปีที่แล้ว +24

      He sounds like a mafioso

    • @orionstickguard790
      @orionstickguard790 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@eldorados_lost_searcher Don't go giving the government ideas!

    • @curiousKuro16
      @curiousKuro16 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      In NYs defense, he never said anything about murder! At worst he was disposing of a body.

    • @LeadTrumpet1
      @LeadTrumpet1 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      @@curiousKuro16 That just happened to be dead.
      We never specified how it died

  • @Iammothere-CH
    @Iammothere-CH ปีที่แล้ว +780

    “Quick, Texas, grab your toast!”
    My favorite line ever

    • @DaDragon555
      @DaDragon555 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I ould not breathe for a solid minute after hearing that

    • @CarbonatedCondensation
      @CarbonatedCondensation ปีที่แล้ว +6

      My God that took me way too long to figure out 😭 I’m tired, and it’s been a long few weeks…

    • @Iammothere-CH
      @Iammothere-CH ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@CarbonatedCondensation this week is going by so slow & I’m so tired as well

    • @CarbonatedCondensation
      @CarbonatedCondensation ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Iammothere-CH absolutely… Monday felt like Friday, and it’s only now Thursday

    • @SunshineRey
      @SunshineRey ปีที่แล้ว +8

      A good second best is
      “The butter is gone”
      “Divorce!”

  • @DarkestElemental616
    @DarkestElemental616 ปีที่แล้ว +454

    My dad overheard the line about rats flying if you kick 'em hard enough and started wheezing because that's exactly what he'd say. You got a new fan today lol.

    • @cleverusernamenexttime2779
      @cleverusernamenexttime2779 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I laughed way to hard at that one. It was also the first thing I thought of.

  • @sparkydoggo8691
    @sparkydoggo8691 ปีที่แล้ว +156

    “you couldnt even take a rat, b. deadass.” is the most new york sentence new york has ever new yorked

    • @geddon436
      @geddon436 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      New York speaking truth, usually.

    • @PaigeDWinter
      @PaigeDWinter วันที่ผ่านมา

      The only way to make it more New York is to sprinkle in a few 'bet's.

  • @mysticgem547
    @mysticgem547 ปีที่แล้ว +751

    The lack of confidence they have in Florida hurts me.

    • @dr.floridamanphd
      @dr.floridamanphd ปีที่แล้ว

      The entire Florida Man meme wasn’t even a thing until the late 90s when a bunch of damn Yankees flooded our state and began acting the fool.
      Before them we had the swamp people down in the Everglades. Let’s just say those folks didn’t make the news very often.
      Why? Because they were fucking weirdos. Nobody wanted to be around them.
      Then we started draining the swamps to build McMansions and next thing you know “Florida Man” stories began popping up everywhere.
      Coincidence?

    • @taylorh.3484
      @taylorh.3484 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Are you a Floridian?

    • @WHATTHEHELL666
      @WHATTHEHELL666 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Why the fuck would they have confidence in Florida?/genq

    • @Brainship.
      @Brainship. ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Dude bears are no joke. Barehanded non of them can win and they know it. It's not down talking it's reality-checking.

    • @Broadpaw_Fox
      @Broadpaw_Fox ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Especially considering Florida's experience in dealing with gators, among other things. ;)

  • @KylarKrane
    @KylarKrane ปีที่แล้ว +372

    "Murder is illegal"
    "Gardening aint"

    • @Larsen_illustrations
      @Larsen_illustrations ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Finders keepers, and i found the body

    • @redrudy07
      @redrudy07 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Minnesota mood.

    • @ultimatecontagion
      @ultimatecontagion 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@Larsen_illustrationsI like how you motherfucking think 🤪🤣

    • @cardinalhamneggs5253
      @cardinalhamneggs5253 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      th-cam.com/video/vVfRf24LXcg/w-d-xo.htmlsi=MMAUgDV6y7Iv3tEg

  • @Tadicuslegion78
    @Tadicuslegion78 ปีที่แล้ว +466

    Government: *Rings Cowbell* ROUND 15! GIVE IT UP FOR ROUND 15!
    Unpaid interns: We've been here for 4 days, I haven't slept in 3 days, nor eaten in 2, can we take a break?
    Government: I'm sorry interns, but we can't move on until Kevin wins the game. He's like the 2020 New York Jets, he won't take the hint.
    Unpaid intern: *Shoves face in hands and screams*

    • @edgar1344
      @edgar1344 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Slave, it's pronounced slave

    • @hannahheartsedward
      @hannahheartsedward ปีที่แล้ว +7

      This is definitely what happened.

    • @Yours-Truly
      @Yours-Truly ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@edgar1344 I saw your reply and started dying of laughter! Lol 🤣

    • @llmkursk8254
      @llmkursk8254 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      We’re doing it like the colonists! WE DON’T LEAVE UNTIL THIS IS RESOLVED.

  • @kriskay5020
    @kriskay5020 ปีที่แล้ว +341

    Time for my weekly update on how the USA is going

  • @ashleyscott3501
    @ashleyscott3501 ปีที่แล้ว +319

    These little skits always make me happy until I realize that they were reflecting real life

    • @blackdemonknight
      @blackdemonknight ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I like how now he gives a little opening skit before the title card now

    • @Pluveus
      @Pluveus ปีที่แล้ว +19

      The fact that they read like surrealist performance art, but are in fact only light satire is a truly horrifying thing.

  • @TheGreatKing072
    @TheGreatKing072 ปีที่แล้ว +182

    "There is no such thing as too much butter"- Any Midwestern

    • @NAcHO-wx5vg
      @NAcHO-wx5vg ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Unless it’s margarine in Wisconsin, then it’s illegal to sell it at retail unless it’s been graded, I don’t know I don’t make our laws.

    • @Larsen_illustrations
      @Larsen_illustrations ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And that's why we're all going to die at 40!

    • @Not_actually_a_commie
      @Not_actually_a_commie ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@NAcHO-wx5vg I mean, we _are_ the dairy state. Gotta have high standards

    • @Annie_Annie__
      @Annie_Annie__ ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I joke that Texas is sometimes a southern state, sometimes a midwestern state, sometimes a southwestern state, and sometimes it’s own thing.
      In this case it’s a midwestern state.

    • @B2WM
      @B2WM ปีที่แล้ว +2

      To be fair, this philosophy is also fully embraced by every traditional Southern cook.

  • @krankarvolund7771
    @krankarvolund7771 ปีที่แล้ว +367

    As a french, I just want to state a fact: there's no such thing as too much butter.

    • @mizixy9624
      @mizixy9624 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      That sounds like some a French would say.

    • @dannyleyamato1309
      @dannyleyamato1309 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Depends on the context
      Too much butter in cookin , no you could just eat the jug and be fine, the love just might hurt ya when it leaves.
      In the rivers and on the streets..., May-be just depends on how contaminated you're willin to have your butter.

    • @icarusbinns3156
      @icarusbinns3156 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I agree with danny. I don’t want my butter touching the street. That’s gross

    • @KAT-bt5qg
      @KAT-bt5qg ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Too much butter is the right amount of butter

    • @MichielGroenewegen
      @MichielGroenewegen ปีที่แล้ว

      Come to the Netherlands than.

  • @flyingfortress15
    @flyingfortress15 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    For those wondering about the river fire thing the Cuyahoga in Ohio caught in fire on at least 13 separate occasions from 1868-1969 and maybe a reason why EPA is a thing

    • @B2WM
      @B2WM ปีที่แล้ว +11

      There's something so chaotically wholesome about my birth state LA and the state that I was raised in teaming up to give Florida a run for its money when it comes to firewater...

    • @danielbickford3458
      @danielbickford3458 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      There's a song about that River.

    • @DonRavioli92
      @DonRavioli92 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Goddammit Cleveland, making us look bad again.

    • @SuprSBG
      @SuprSBG ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@DonRavioli92 yep

    • @dyeandcloth1920
      @dyeandcloth1920 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Hey, look, Cleveland is also the best thing going for Ohio rn 🤣

  • @rubiconprime1429
    @rubiconprime1429 ปีที่แล้ว +143

    Ben’s really been improving at getting the states to say things at the exact same time.

  • @lobster_sax6969
    @lobster_sax6969 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    i love how the bigger regions (south, midwest, bigger as in state size) team up and screw around with eachother, all of the insults directed at eachother are usually in good fun.

  • @killerofdisco1482
    @killerofdisco1482 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    As an Iowan. That marriage proposal better have a ring. Made of butter with fat corn kernel for a rock.

  • @Lizbethduchi
    @Lizbethduchi ปีที่แล้ว +153

    Caitlin from Ask a motition moves to the east coast. New York legalizes human composting. Coincidence? I think not!

  • @KenKopin
    @KenKopin ปีที่แล้ว +18

    It's been over fifty years since the Cuyahoga River caught fire, come on. :D

  • @bobolobocus333
    @bobolobocus333 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    So 2011 had Norway have not enough butter, and now we've got America with too much butter. Butter Crisis Part 2: Butterlanche.

  • @juliaastarina8763
    @juliaastarina8763 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Why do I feel like NJ will be somehow on the same page with NY regarding composting and murder 😂

    • @roberta1092
      @roberta1092 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Well, they are the garden state

    • @LeadTrumpet1
      @LeadTrumpet1 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      And also previous run by the Mob.

    • @mackenziecoleman8103
      @mackenziecoleman8103 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @CallMeAvocadoNY and NJ are siblings. we both come from the Dutch colony of New Amsterdam, after all.

  • @madhattergodess
    @madhattergodess ปีที่แล้ว +47

    Florida could take grizzly, then take it to Disney so he could meet Baloo and Winnie the Pooh.

  • @tommiegirl2441
    @tommiegirl2441 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    The Gov can finally speak, the corn has got the juice and they're gardening in January in New York. Damn but I love the Table. Good show Ben!

  • @lb34mwr
    @lb34mwr ปีที่แล้ว +17

    That Texas Toast joke was a good one. I do not know how I did not see it coming

  • @localmenace3043
    @localmenace3043 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    There really ain’t such thing as too much butter… or at least that’s what my mom would say. Meat, butter, and potatoes.

    • @hopelessromantic3786
      @hopelessromantic3786 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You're missing dessert.

    • @TheKd8lvt
      @TheKd8lvt ปีที่แล้ว

      @@hopelessromantic3786 Potatoes are dual purpose - both the dessert and the main course.

  • @christianavance9124
    @christianavance9124 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is the only source for "news" that doesn't activate my anxiety disorder. Thanks for that.

  • @TennoWolf
    @TennoWolf ปีที่แล้ว +82

    Hands up if you saw the "snese" in the subtitles.

  • @emerald6130
    @emerald6130 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    As someone from Chicago, please don’t ever compare us to some cheesehead’s

    • @kellygrenquist7911
      @kellygrenquist7911 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Aw geeze, we got a fibber talking smack again. You're just jealous our state has topography.

    • @victoriaderfus4751
      @victoriaderfus4751 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Even the most depressed Wisconsinite can wake up in the morning remembering that even though we have won the Super Bowl several times, non of them led to a song and dance number called The Super Bowl Shuffle

    • @Sylvea-gn3sb
      @Sylvea-gn3sb ปีที่แล้ว +2

      * cheesehead/ cheeseheads

    • @movingforwardLDTH
      @movingforwardLDTH ปีที่แล้ว

      @@victoriaderfus4751, watching Sweetness shuffle & sing = ! (2nd only to watching him run & score!)

    • @Galaar
      @Galaar ปีที่แล้ว +1

      As someone from Milwaukee, the feeling's mutual buddy.

  • @JustA-Person
    @JustA-Person ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you for reminding me I’ll be turning 18 this year Ben I was trying to forget

    • @kellylundy5115
      @kellylundy5115 ปีที่แล้ว

      Really? Why?

    • @egrettacaerulea
      @egrettacaerulea ปีที่แล้ว

      Probably a good time to know Finnish college is free to anyone pursuing a major they view as beneficial, regardless of nationality.

  • @bthsr7113
    @bthsr7113 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Yeah um, I was about to say, "How could an self-respecting dairy state of the midwest have too much butter?" Butter on thee ground because of a flaming factory would do it.

    • @shawnlylebond8873
      @shawnlylebond8873 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yup Iowan here, we got fried butter on a stick.

    • @bthsr7113
      @bthsr7113 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@shawnlylebond8873 Have you tried our cheese curds though? Breaded and fried nuggets of cheese.

    • @shawnlylebond8873
      @shawnlylebond8873 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@bthsr7113 you had me at cheese.

    • @bthsr7113
      @bthsr7113 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@shawnlylebond8873 Culvers is a good baseline, though there is better. A&W has some good ones sometimes, but there's been some high variation in my experience.
      Some of the best I had were at a quiet sports bar in the off season. Right next to the Green Bay Packers' stadium.

    • @shawnlylebond8873
      @shawnlylebond8873 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@bthsr7113 but that would require me going to Wisconsin.

  • @TrailRat2000
    @TrailRat2000 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    So, it seems finding "corn" in the woods seems to be an international trend. Here, in the UK, it seemed almost easy to stumble upon someone's stash during the 90s!!

    • @arche2460
      @arche2460 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I’m so confused by this. Who was leaving all these p🌽rn mags in the woods?? Why?? How was this an international phenomenon?? I don’t understand-

    • @DeadBore
      @DeadBore ปีที่แล้ว

      @@arche2460 it’s a stash, dude, it’s so they weren’t in your house, no one knew they were yours, and you could pick them up at a later date

    • @insanityplea5502
      @insanityplea5502 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@arche2460 Kids like making tree houses when they are 8-Dead. As one grows older, what one finds interesting and worth hiding in said tree house(s) also changes.
      I also submit hollowed out tree stumps, weather-proof (tarp covered) lockbox (broken lock ofc) covered in foliage (season pending), and good old cardboard box under a tarp on a piece of wood covered in tree branches.
      These tips and tricks that one can pick up while growing up can also help hide the bodies when/if required. I also submit Lyme as a good tool if the wildlife in your neck of the woods isnt as staunch a supporter of recycling as it is in mine.
      And considering there was a time when you could buy cheapo rubber/silicon gloves without anyone batting an eye, I do not doubt the psychopaths are having a field day.

  • @Stray_Cloudz
    @Stray_Cloudz ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Iowa's line with the butter is what I would say amazing along with Illinois and Wisconsin not liking to be compared with each other, perfection

  • @finnleytheaceandanxious
    @finnleytheaceandanxious ปีที่แล้ว +46

    "Why would you have a law to protect kids from corn?"
    This is why I can't sleep at night. I think things like this

    • @lauraknight5973
      @lauraknight5973 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      this is so pure. all i could think was "california, no kid's giving identifying information on corn websites. they're just subtracting 18 from the current date"

    • @LucasBenitez2
      @LucasBenitez2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@lauraknight5973 they make you put in your lousiana id

    • @lauraknight5973
      @lauraknight5973 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Lucas Benitez louisiana is like that parent who successfully stops their kids from sneaking around because they did the same shit as a kid and knows all the tricks

  • @meander112
    @meander112 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Shout out to Caitlin Doughty (Ask A Mortician here on YT) for already having a video on human composting!

  • @denab.3414
    @denab.3414 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    You're still making the days worth getting through, Ben. Thank you.

  • @meeshybee1654
    @meeshybee1654 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thanks, Ben. I can always count on you for things I suddenly have to Google right now.

  • @alexcentury4566
    @alexcentury4566 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    with the mentions of bears and dropping things out of planes, i was almost anticipating a cocaine bear reference since the movies coming out soon

  • @itwasagoodideaatthetime7980
    @itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 ปีที่แล้ว +124

    I'm honestly surprised no one has asked what human composting is.
    *EDIT*
    Ok this is to stave off any more comments to go & check out Caitlin Doughty's channel Ask A Mortician.
    A: I am *fully* aware of what human decomposition it is, & how it works.
    B: I'm a member of the Order of the Good Death. & I have been following Caitlin Doughty's Ask A Mortician channel for years now.
    C: I've been following the concept of human composting ever since it was first submitted in Washington. & I was over joyed that it has passed legislation. In Washington, California & now in New York. & I hope that it will be legal here in Australia before I die.
    My original comment was about my surprise that no one had asked what it was? Not everyone is aware of the concept of human composting & what it entails. So I was surprised that there weren't more questions about it.

    • @chibiprussia5574
      @chibiprussia5574 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      It's legal in Washington too lol

    • @riverstein7251
      @riverstein7251 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      I know what a human is. I know what composting is. I can put two and two together

    • @syndigriner-owens4351
      @syndigriner-owens4351 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Watch Ask a Mortician on here, she will teach ya

    • @badpiggies988
      @badpiggies988 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@chibiprussia5574 Good, when I die I can have my grandkids make me part of their gardens

    • @larissac9598
      @larissac9598 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@syndigriner-owens4351 Seconded, Caitlin is a great source for most anything death- & funeral-related!

  • @curiousKuro16
    @curiousKuro16 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I think this might be the best scripted skit yet! Of course it's hilarious, but the timing on this one is so tight and well edited! And all the references! I particularly love the butter marriage! The perfect mid-week pick me up!

  • @Yours-Truly
    @Yours-Truly ปีที่แล้ว +10

    "Yeah, but gardening ain't."
    I love that so much. Next time someone tells me murder is illegal, I'm responding with this. (It's all jokes!)

  • @jilliandarr412
    @jilliandarr412 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Love when get the Wisconsin accent going. Takes me back to my childhood there! Thanks for including the outtakes too!

  • @teresakirkland995
    @teresakirkland995 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I live for these!!!

  • @ryzenwilliams2244
    @ryzenwilliams2244 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "The butter is gone"
    "Divorce."

  • @JCVidZ0912
    @JCVidZ0912 ปีที่แล้ว

    “I’ll watch it”
    Got me wheezing XD

  • @druid_zephyrus
    @druid_zephyrus ปีที่แล้ว +3

    As a New Yorker that know exactly how long it takes to dig a 6'x3'x6' hole by hand in the dark...
    I approve of our new law.

  • @SimpleGunner
    @SimpleGunner ปีที่แล้ว +2

    gov "ive been busy" that gave me a good laugh

  • @UNION_JACK_THE_RIPPER
    @UNION_JACK_THE_RIPPER ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Reminds me of the 2011 Norwegian butter crisis. (Look it up its crazy and has changed butter production and storage for last 10 years in Norway.)

    • @krankarvolund7771
      @krankarvolund7771 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So I look it up, and yeah it's crazy. Especially the reaction of the neighbours, free butter in frontier towns of Sweden to entice norwegian consumers, butter smugglers and a danish emergency appeal to give butter to Norwegians. Wtf? XD

    • @UNION_JACK_THE_RIPPER
      @UNION_JACK_THE_RIPPER ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@krankarvolund7771 " YOU THERE WHATS IN THE TRUCK!?"
      "Not butter"

  • @imaginaryfriend4512
    @imaginaryfriend4512 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "I say we just go back to the days of mysteriously air-dropping magazines into the woods behind residential areas." Never did figure out *why* that was a thing... but young me got so many magazines that way...

  • @amusingintonations
    @amusingintonations ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I think New York was my favorite in this one. Next time I wanna see him gardening.

  • @WolfRose1Studios
    @WolfRose1Studios ปีที่แล้ว

    0:35 Time for round 2. 😂 That speaker of the house got kicked to the curb.

  • @theminnesotan592
    @theminnesotan592 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    2:20 I mean if the magazines are made out of the right paper it wouldn't be that bad. Though it brings new meaning to "dirty magazines".

  • @gigaus0
    @gigaus0 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love how you nail NY every time.

  • @Rmstar01
    @Rmstar01 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Ok. But does no one remember Utah's phone "corn" filter??? Why didn't he enter the conversation with Louisiana?!

  • @courtneywoodbury5198
    @courtneywoodbury5198 ปีที่แล้ว

    My favorite part is FL's hand motions during 'do you require an assistant?'

    • @Drknsl0
      @Drknsl0 ปีที่แล้ว

      me and Florida said that simultaneously

  • @voidedparts
    @voidedparts ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Love to see Iowa popping in from time to time! :D

  • @rayganrambles
    @rayganrambles ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm enjoying these new cold opens!

  • @SarcasticasKel
    @SarcasticasKel ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Just your typical northeast gardening😂😂

  • @redratmaster
    @redratmaster ปีที่แล้ว

    "That's a weird way to purpose, but I do" that honestly made my fucking day hearing that, and it made my uncle look up what happened, so that was fun too

  • @bugzygeek125
    @bugzygeek125 ปีที่แล้ว

    Been on your channel since last night and if I ever visit your country am checking out Florida. He's been just great. Love the Table News.

  • @torav8343
    @torav8343 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Always good to see michigan

  • @carynmueller2935
    @carynmueller2935 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I was half expecting Indiana to chime in talking about the lady driving on the canal downtown a few weeks ago

  • @cassierobertson5778
    @cassierobertson5778 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    NY legalized human composting??? Huzzah!!!!! Best news all week.

  • @Mamda07
    @Mamda07 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    These keep getting better and better! Very few things make me actually laugh but these always do. Thank you for always putting out great content!

  • @Glacial7
    @Glacial7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love that they all somehow rallied together about getting toast to use all the butter for

  • @adammerchant2133
    @adammerchant2133 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love that you mentioned limewire

  • @waspwrap1235
    @waspwrap1235 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    You’re telling me Utah and Washington aren’t in this sketch?

    • @darthmaul216
      @darthmaul216 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Too busy celebrating getting into the playoffs

    • @badpiggies988
      @badpiggies988 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@darthmaul216 And we and Michigan didn’t make fun of WI for still using a packers mug

  • @azulpaloma
    @azulpaloma ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This reminded me that I haven't had dinner yet, so now I'm going to go eat toast on butter before it's too late! Great video as always!! :D

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  • @VoidZeroNothing
    @VoidZeroNothing ปีที่แล้ว +3

    As someone born in 2005, I can confirm I will be 18 in July.
    What the hell are taxes, how do I pay them, and, alternatively, how do I avoid paying them?

    • @vxicepickxv
      @vxicepickxv ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Taxes are a bit of money set aside for a theoretically functioning government. To pay them, provide information about your Social Security Number to your employer, and they will withdraw some income for your taxes. To avoid paying them, donate about 2 billion dollars worth of shares to a charity run in your name, spend 95% of the money on investments and spend the remaining 5% on what your charity is designated for, as long as it improves the value of your investments of the 95% from your charity.
      For example, if you want to invest in lowering homelessness, you invest the 95% in stocks for residential manufacturing and then spend the 5% building them. You can even ask for free community labor. The increased revenue from buying products from companies you have stock in will raise your net wealth tax free.

    • @EmmaBonn96
      @EmmaBonn96 ปีที่แล้ว

      The government knows how much money they want from you. They won’t tell you because companies corrupted politicians so they wouldn’t tell you. You can go to one of those companies and have them ask you questions based on your lifestyle and they’ll let you know how much you owe.

    • @bethclark4702
      @bethclark4702 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ah, I see schools have stopped teaching economics, too... pxicepickxv gave a bit of info about taxes, but it's a bit mistaken. It's easier to figure between state and federal taxes, @30% of your income goes to them.

    • @SSGranor
      @SSGranor ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's probably worth noting that those companies are required by law to have a free version of their software that you can use if your financial situation is sufficiently simple. (Though, you may still have to pay to also generate and file your state tax return.)
      That said, sufficiently simple is very narrowly defined. Like, if you get paid for jury duty, you have to report it on a form that none of the companies include in the free version.

  • @patdevhill3456
    @patdevhill3456 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "They can if you kick em hard enough" sent me to the moon 😂 like those rats

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  • @EdelweissConfederacy
    @EdelweissConfederacy ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for my weekly news! Time to go back into my library

  • @GENERALx5H4DY
    @GENERALx5H4DY ปีที่แล้ว +3

    As a Newyorker i would appreciate an Upstate Ny sorta like how there is Texas and Austin, but the other way around

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  • @themadwriter
    @themadwriter ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Congratulations New York! New green burial options ftw!!!

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  • @systhecat
    @systhecat ปีที่แล้ว

    I love the idea of Ben just talking to himself while switching outfits in-between persona's

  • @DanteGrey
    @DanteGrey ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I got to say I'm happy for the table news to return but I hope you enjoy doing your shows that got some much-needed rest

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  • @satakrionkryptomortis
    @satakrionkryptomortis ปีที่แล้ว +1

    that ganster times vibes created by "gardenin"

  • @emmasigns363
    @emmasigns363 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I can confirm that people born in 2005 are turning 18 this year. I am one of those people.

  • @miner1226
    @miner1226 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Iowa finally getting some love

  • @alyshadeshae
    @alyshadeshae ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hold up... So if I kick it in New York, they can just compost my body instead of me having to get cremated?! YAAASSSS!!!

  • @bobbysworld281995
    @bobbysworld281995 ปีที่แล้ว

    "Just light the canal on fire"
    OOF

  • @jamesdickison8991
    @jamesdickison8991 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Your content just keeps getting funnier

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  • @chanticleer0714
    @chanticleer0714 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Michigan being totally fine with the National championships dig from Ohio is spot on, especially since the Coyahoga River has caught fire ***13*** times.
    Plus the Vernors ❤️ love it.

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  • @jaysom3504
    @jaysom3504 ปีที่แล้ว

    "that's not a real number" made my morning

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  • @Liberty0522
    @Liberty0522 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The West Coast wanted to make it, but all the roads are flooded.

  • @annbuccieri1267
    @annbuccieri1267 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Why does NY call Florida, “B?”

  • @nathanmyers5527
    @nathanmyers5527 ปีที่แล้ว

    Once again, you impress. As a Floridian, I must say I love your depiction of us as a state. Spot on. Thanks for the entertainment Ben.

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  • @braidygal
    @braidygal ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I like the haircut. Also, can confirm the age math. My child born in 06 is so close to getting her license (must be 16.5 to get) which means 17 isn’t too far away either…

  • @sariekitchen
    @sariekitchen ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Ohio is painfully on point
    Down to the exact Buckeye necklace that every rural Ohioan child has had at some point in their life.

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  • @meepswag35
    @meepswag35 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    He misspelled the title in the video 😂

  • @PikachuMC99
    @PikachuMC99 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hell yeah, love to see IL with it's split second appearances.

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  • @TheStackeddeck77
    @TheStackeddeck77 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love how for years now this channel has been the personification of 'you cant make this up' i love your humor.

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  • @alexanderbell6391
    @alexanderbell6391 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Georgia is drinking like there’s no tomorrow

  • @opheliatrahan4185
    @opheliatrahan4185 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    One of the most New York statements ever at the end there

  • @bemasaberwyn55
    @bemasaberwyn55 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The cold opens have me ☠☠

  • @isyaboyegg
    @isyaboyegg ปีที่แล้ว

    the bare(bear) hands thing gave me flashbacks to “you have bear fists?”

  • @RutabegaNG
    @RutabegaNG ปีที่แล้ว

    Those river fires were up north, the river with the same name as our state is at the southern end and has never been on fire.*
    *Probably.

  • @maxrichards3881
    @maxrichards3881 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    On the Patreon page, you mentioned New England Gardening, but not a single New England state was here.
    New York is not in New England, it’s in the mid-Atlantic, alongside West and East Philly, anyone from either region will tell you the same.

  • @eacalvert
    @eacalvert ปีที่แล้ว

    Perfect as always

    • @eacalvert
      @eacalvert ปีที่แล้ว

      @@KnowingBetter1 Wait ppl actually fall for this

  • @andrewjustice210
    @andrewjustice210 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    its CRAZY how we ALL grew up with the gift of forest porn

    • @cassierobertson5778
      @cassierobertson5778 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      We... did? That was a real thing?

    • @JonesNate
      @JonesNate ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Eh?

    • @redbeardsteelskin6723
      @redbeardsteelskin6723 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So....I don't know if that was actually a thing, but it would explain a small part of the woods I lived next to growing up..

    • @susane5480
      @susane5480 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Never happened in my neck of the woods.

  • @GirlWithTheIpod
    @GirlWithTheIpod ปีที่แล้ว

    New York passed Human Composting? Awesome! I'm from Scotland and am not always up-to-date on news from the states, but this is grand! Here's hoping for another Ask A Mortician video on it soon ✨

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  • @LuckyJ111
    @LuckyJ111 ปีที่แล้ว

    Ben (as Gov): "i would like to remind you that kids born in 2005 are turning 18 this year."
    me: * is turning 18 in (checks time) five minutes ago *
    me: O.O

  • @greergrapple2227
    @greergrapple2227 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    As a 2005 baby myself I can’t wait to turn 18

  • @JanineStoryteller
    @JanineStoryteller ปีที่แล้ว

    🤣🤣 I spit out coffee with Ohio rivers burning! True dat! This episode was brilliant (as always).

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