Can self-care save your marriage? - (The Empowered Wife - part 2)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.ย. 2024
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Be a happy wife - at first it seems odd that the first intimacy skill is self-care, is about yourself, but it's all part of taking responsibility for yourself. Start with yourself, not with what other people are doing or saying.
Many unhappy wives and homemakers think martyrdom is holiness, that sacrificial love means never thinking about yourself at all - but there is no guilt for taking showers, for enjoying beautifying yourself, for resting with a magazine and a hot cup of coffee, for doing an exercise class or taking music lessons.
How can we help our families become flourishing people without also taking the time to flourish ourselves and show them how it's done? I think a lot of the examples of self-care in Empowered Wife are examples of how not to make your contentment and happiness dependent on other people, but just enjoy life as your own person.
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My husband definitely tries to make me laugh. Sometimes I roll my eyes… but he loves it when I laugh
I thought Stefani's theory was so fascinating! :)
I used to think more along the martyr line of self sacrifice at all costs. But since I realized that the command to love my neighbor as myself, denotes an underlying, preexisting, healthy, normal love of self, it’s been easier for me to let myself enjoy things and rest as needed. If I’m to love my neighbor as myself, but I treat myself with neglect, then that command just wouldn’t even make sense because then it would mean to neglect others. 🤔 Being able to truly care for others *necessitates* we take care of ourselves… without taking it too far, of course. (Humanity loves a good pendulum swing) lol. 💛
"Humanity loves a good pendulum swing" - so true!!
This is such a great discussion! I've been waiting for an opportunity to discuss this book with like-minded, Christian women. Thank you!
It would make a good pick for a book club!
I decided to take a moment enjoying snuggling my kitty cat while I listen to this. Makes me happy
Nice! Being grateful for the little blessings God sends and noticing them is a huge part of enjoying life and being happy. :)
I have found that my false martyrdom mindset alway came back to bitterness and discontentment in what God had given me.
I am still wrestling with this idea of needing something more than God as a source to enjoy life and be cheerfully serving. Has anyone else gone through this? I think I am needing a more specifically biblical backing for the concept of self care that isn’t eisegetical.
Thinking of basic human care and enjoying the good things of life as "more than God" is the problem. We ARE enjoying God when we enjoy what He has given us (hot water, bunnies, good food, sunshine, etc) in gratitude - not INSTEAD of Him, but BECAUSE of Him as the Creator and Source. God didn't make us as pure souls whose only need is an ethereal experience of His presence. He made us with bodies that He called good. Joe Rigney's book Things of Earth is a great treatment of this topic.
Also, I have a couple other articles on self-care:
simplyconvivial.com/2017/self-control-self-care/
simplyconvivial.com/2018/self-care-spiritual/
@@simplyconvivial that is true! I also started that book a while ago but have yet to finish it. I did appreciate his thorough discussion on the tension between Christ call to deny ourselves as well as the call to thankful enjoyment of material blessings. Will have to finish it this year!
I think I am recognizing now though that I call quickly fall into the ditch of idolizing my needs where there is a call to deny myself. Which then in turn ruins my attitude to rightly enjoy God given pleasures in life 😅 I think James 4:1-3 comes to mind with regard to that.
I will check out your article too. Thanks for the reply!
@@sabrinaj826 Yes, and our human tendency is also to swing out of one ditch into the other ditch rather than into rightly ordered loves. :)
Music was a bit loud in the beginning. Trying to concentrate on you words….