Exploitative Caregivers of TikTok
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ก.ย. 2024
- "Spreading awareness" on the caregiver TikTok niche
These videos are really just the tip of the iceberg unfortunately
It's awful watching a loved one battle dementia but that doesn't make this okay
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tasiamelodyy@gmail.com
#commentary #tiktok #caregiver
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just started watching but i hope we also criticize the "wholesome" or "sweet" accounts who use dementia for clout. Like that one guy who does everything for his tiny grandma. Everyone is like "Well he's so sweet to her!!" Thats great but he's DIRECTLY profiting from her, and her VULNERABILITY, and she's literally not able to consent to those videos being posted.
YOUR. RELATIVES. ARE. NOT. PROPS.
its the same thing as children in youtube videos. I DO NOT CARE how "happy" or "healthy" or "good" they are. I SHOULD NOT be able to have access to footage of a child that is not mine. I should not have access to footage of a person with dementia that I am not related to.
The fact that these things even exist is creepy. makes me feel gross just knowing this stuff is free and legal to consume
Oh for sure!! None of it is okay, these are just some extreme examples I found.
💯 💯 💯
If you’re talking about who I think you are, unfortunately she passed a few months ago :(. I could never watch his videos all the way through because she was so vulnerable and he was taking advantage of that.
I think its chris punsalan right? she passed and he's still profiting off of merch that he made he made a grandma pen with a halo I believe that's who your talking about
And infantilizing these people while showing off their struggle to millions online.. they cannot consent to being filmed in their state and its disgusting what they're doing
As a person who’s mother died from Dementia this is absolutely disgusting.
I’m so sorry about your Mom ❤❤❤
I took care of my grandparents during my teen and 20’s- these videos made me see red.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine that.
I’m very sorry about your mom ❤️😔
I’m so sorry
This is elder abuse. These people have rights and they are being violated. This is illegal.
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Absolutely!!!
It already seems criminal just morally. It crosses so far over the line that you can’t even SEE the line anymore. I’m not surprised it’s criminal legally as well
As a former CNA in a memory care facility. People like this are the reason for HIPAA and elderly abuse laws. This is literally like putting a trauma survivor through their trauma again and recording it then calling them crazy. This is wild to me that people think this is ok just because it’s her mom, if someone other than the family was doing this to the mom I gaurentee the daughter would have a field day
*HIPAA there is no such thing as HIPPA lol
If they want to share the bad moments, they could TALK about them, not exploiting their family member in front of the camera.
The best dementia awareness channel I saw was a lady who just films herself playing both the dementia patient and the caregiver and giving tips to the caregiver on how to manage certain situations. That seems educational and helpful. These vlogs... They are just exploitative.
Yes!! I know who you're talking about and I have learned so much on how to deal with my grandparents who are unfortunately getting to that age. Love her
You can tell they are overwhelmed and overstimulated. They aren’t angry for no reason
Imagine how these people would feel if they became lucid again and found out you were taking videos of them at their most vulnerable points. It's wild that someone thinks this is okay or funny.
This is so bad! I started crying when she told her, her sister died and just talked as if she was planning a dinner with family.
No emotional response, no time for the old lady to process this information. I would be sobbing when someone told me one of my brothers died.
I am working with elderly people with dementia and parkinson. They need time. They need patients and validation of their feelings. NOT this.
I would react aggressive too, when someone would record me iny most vulnerable moments.
This videos are teaching how NOT to react.
That part made me die inside. I’m a dementia caregiver in a facility, and we NEVER remind or confirm to our residents this sort of thing. Ridiculous. Cruel.
Not only are they recording them but they’re antagonizing and mocking them. This is the opposite of how you’re supposed to treat dementia victims, you don’t respond with arguments and escalate them. It only makes this horrific disease even more stressful for them. Disgusting.
Someone local to this family should turn them in to authorities. This is abuse. She does not want you in her face. When you become the care giver there should be rules against filming and uploading of this content. She is not in a frame of mind to give you her consent to your filming.
From someone who survived abuse in childhood: the authorities don’t care. And they especially don’t care when it comes to elders. Look at all the cases of abuse and neglect in the official nursing homes. It’s horrible. Not only are the laws in this country way too lax about that stuff, if the persons family doesn’t want to press charges (or they have no family) they have little to no way to actually fight these issues.
I took 24/7 care of my grandfather after a stroke left him paralyzed on one side. I changed his diapers, bathed him and fed him. He gradually struggled with dementia. He had lucid moments. I couldn’t imagine exploiting him for money and strangers see his most vulnerable moments. It’s gross. They literally make money off their vulnerability
It's the constant patronising tone for me. You can tell they hate being talked to like little kids but they continue because that's what's getting them views. "Say I'm sorry, come on, say it" she literally says she doesn't want to cause she just isn't sorry. Maybe there's a reason she's been aggressive and isn't sorry... 🤦♀️ even with blurred faces this video is hard to watch.
This is so sad... The way they are provoking the folks w dementia speaks volumes about the poor quality of care theyre giving them.. its the opposite of what you should do to someone w dementia who is confused and agitated
Exploiting vulnerable and confused people for viral videos is abhorrent behavior. It is inhumane.
This is heartbreaking. Dementia and Alzheimer's are the most devastating things I can imagine seeing someone you love going through. These people are vulnerable and they are taking advantage of them. It's so sad.
one word for care certificate: dignity, the one thing most carers don’t seem to give a shit about and it’s actually vile.
these people treat thier reletives like babies and it upsets them bc nobody wants to be treated/talked to like a baby and then they go and post a tiktok framing it as if their relative is upset for no reason
So I worked in hospice for two years as a CNA. I had to ask families more than once to please not take pictures of me showering and toileting their loved ones, not because I didn’t want to be photographed, but because they certainly wouldn’t like being photographed in such positions themselves and it’s not respectful to do that to others. This is so abusive and exploitative. It’s honestly hard to watch this without crying because I feel so bad for these people. I’m such a stickler on privacy being a nurse, and it makes me so upset that these people’s cognitive issues are taken advantage of like this.
Dementia is HARD to deal with, but I've been a respite worker for almost 5 years and never thought of antagonising anyone with emotional dysregulation... whether their actions/words are warranted or not, the way they are feeling is REAL. You either need to respect it and work with it or walk away and let someone else take over for a while.
100% agreed! It's surprising how many people find posting this kind of "content" acceptable. It's very exploitive & inappropriate.
Makes you wonder if they had a bad relationship when the parent was of sound mind and this is their way of getting back at them or something messed up like that.
Yeah maybe 🤔 I hope my father is treated terribly in his old age because of how he treated us when we were children.
I took care of my grandmother full time in her end of life, in her hospice stage. I could never of imagined filming any of it, ever.... yes, she was comical at times, yes she was scary at times, yes she was mean at times, but I was proud to do that job, with all the nasty parts involved!!, and she was 100% bedbound, so I took care of every aspect of her day to day regular living... I still did it proudly, without complaint and I certainly never did anything to make her feel less than the super woman she was to me!!, at least not intentionally.... my beautiful lady died in my arms and I cherished her, and every last second...💔
I do in home care with disabled residents. This is disgusting.
I know that dementia does come with random rage episodes sometimes and people with can be more aggressive and angry but a part of me wonders how much of these outbursts is actually the dementia. I would not put it past an “influencer” to egg on their nana on order to get some good content. Like yeah I’m sure the dementia and stuff does make them more agitated, but as you pointed out, anyone would react angrily to this. I’d smack the camera too.
I was a caregiver to BOTH of my grandparents.
My grandma was bedbound for years. I cleaned her wiped her changed her clothes.
This is gross behavior. This isn’t caregiving this is using them as a means to get social media points.
Put the damn phone down and HELP!!!
I can't imagine degrading my own MOM like this. Do her friends see these videos? I can't imagine my friends seeing me post videos like this of my mom, or of anyone. I would feel like such a POS. How can people be like this and live with themselves
Ick, I’d call adult protective services and make a report then never speak to her again if I knew these people.
As someone whose grandma is struggling with dementia and is facing the possibility of never returning to her home (she’s in rehab rn), these videos are so gross. I could never do this to my grandma. I understand wanting to bring awareness to dementia but there are better and less exploitive ways to do that
She is a sicko. Can this be reported? I’m nauseous after watching.
I've thought abt trying vlogging as a caregiver for my 92yo grandma bc I'm unemployed atm, but the thing is, she would not be the focus if I did. I would focus on what I'M doing, which is mostly just homemaking bc she's actually very independent. I wouldn't wanna put my grandma online without her permission bc I respect her as a person (she is completely lucid btw practically no dementia) so if I did I'd ask her first and I would NEVER post bathroom accidents/ wardrobe malfunctions/anything embarrassing bc that's just so disrespectful. That's what it really boils down to though is that these caregivers do not respect their privacy or modesty. They aren't seeing them as people through that camera, they're seeing them as content.
I think that’s a lovely idea. You’re giving grandma her pivecy and dignity but the informative videos sound super interesting. I’ll watch 😊
as a person with abusive grandparents, becoming their caregiver is a nightmare. but i could never imagine doing these sort of things to them. under no circumstances is any of this okay. honestly some of this is downright sadistic
They actively show that they don't consent to being filmed in these videos. I can't think of a much more direct way to say "No don't film me" then hitting the phone pointed at me and trying to physically prevent them from recording me. Assuming they are capable of consent(Which is a stretch) they actively deny it.
Sometimes I think its about aggravation of having to parent a parent. It's "look what I have to put up with or look what I have to do alone." When folks get older and frail, suddenly everyone ghosts. I don't watch any of these people but yes, it could be about views but I think it's more attention seeking.
As someone who is currently taking care of their grandmother who has dementia, it is heartbreaking to see people exploit it. I could never imagine doing that to her. All these people (dementia patients)need are for their caregivers and the people around them to be understanding.
This seems to be someone who needs assistance with dressing. Why are we filming this instead of helping her? If she’s putting on clothes that don’t fit… maybe get those clothing out of her closet. If she’s not putting on clothes appropriately, then help her put clothes on appropriately. If she’s overwhelmed because she has too many choices - lay out two choices before bed. Check with her in the morning.
This granddaughter should be reported to APS.
Yeah I can’t watch any more of this. It just feels wrong.
I understand that being a care giver is hard, but humiliation is not the way to release your tension. There is plenty of support out there.
I've been a CNA for 15 years in Nursing Homes, I've helped my Grandmother as well and even performed Post Mortem Care for my Grandmotther.
Those Tiktok so SO disrespectful and many of them ARE Elder Abuse and Mental Abuse.
I am outraged and those aren't even my family members.
These people DESERVED dignity and respect and those are a smack in the face to any of those elderly people in those videos.
I cared for both of my grandparents when they were at the end of their lives. I did everything for them as if they were infants, but I always spoke to them like they were adults and my elders. I still kept the same respect for them I always had for them. This is disgusting!!! I am appalled that people think this is ok!!!
I helped take care of my grandma with severe dementia and bipolar disorder when she lived with us. It was hard but I would never talk down to her like she’s a child or record her and post it. That is so degrading and disgusting. Thank you for talking about this but I couldn’t finish it, those women disgust me. Your own damn family.
Thank you for blurring their faces and respecting the fact that they can’t consent. If they where really spreading awareness, they would not show their faces and explain how to properly deal when these type of situations arise. You could even explain the situation and then show how to deal with them.
You don’t show how you are antagonizing them! This is maddening
I've been an STNA/HHA for 22 yrs. I also lived with my dad for the last 16 yrs of his life, til he passed at 90, to care for him. There is a way to share this stuff without this type of nasty exploitation. It's gross. If you care about someone you should not be profiting off their worst moments.
Omg thank you so much for covering this. It disturbed me but I didn’t know how to articulate it. Some of this is just straight up deliberate humiliation
There is a woman on here on TH-cam who does actual dementia help she uses herself as the example.i wish I could remember her username, her videos have helped with de-escalation and redirection
ah, ive seen her pop up in my shorts before! i know who youre talking about but i dont have the name either
edit: the channel is called Dementia Success Path! www.youtube.com/@dementiasuccesspath2239
These peple are sick. My graddmother passed away from Dementia and its hard enough to see our loved ones lose themselves but they are losing memroies, they don't know who they are or where they are and then to film them and post it on the itnernet? Sick.
I hit like because of your magical kitty cat that just pops up randomly.
Thank you for bringing awareness to this problem.
Caregiving requires patience and conscience. Never, ever would I speak to anyone like this, especially someone with dementia. Making her apologize - it makes me so mad.
These caregivers are NOT funny. How dare they.
I’ve taken portraits of my residents to have when I’ve moved. No one sees them but me; they were my friends, not entertainment.
Now it’s my turn to have a Grammy who needs that patience and respect. I am so grateful no one treats her like these people treat their folks.
And don’t remind them people are dead!!!
Thanks for letting me vent/rant. ✌🏼
I’m a care aide… and I could never imagine filming ppl I’m taking care of, let alone filming and then posting to strangers online. Wtf
this is so sick. I can't possibly imagine treating my mom/grandmother like that even if they did have dementia
this is borderline cause enough to report to APS, lots of verbal abuse and taunting happening here
It’s sad. I know somebody with dementia that I have cared for before and my family is still caring for him and when I get back to visit, I will help care for him. Yes they get mad. They get upset for nothing but there’s no use to video it. Especially when they’re not even giving no tips on how to deal. 🤦♀️
The kitty was the true star of the video
I hate this type of content so much. It’s so gross. Thank you for covering it
I’m a dementia caregiver in a facility and seeing these videos drives me absolutely fucking insane. It’s heart breaking to me.
If she wanted to get across dementia can cause problems with getting dressed, she could have just SAID. She really didn't need to SHOW it.
There's this helpful educational creator, she does example sketches and plays the people with dementia herself and gives advice that's sympathetic. Never saw anyone on her vids but her
Im so so happy you have challenged these people and looked at this from the RIGHT perspective. I cant watch it all, because it drives me wild - its literally abuse.
If its not mentioned please mention dsalnorcal the way these men speak to their dad is disgusting
I was my nana's caretaker for the last month of her life before dementia took her
My heart hurts for these poor people. Not once did I think of recording my grandmother like that. She's still a human being. We watched animal movies together and I cooked us fried chicken whenever she would eat because I knew she liked it
This is enraging and heartbreaking
Thank you for exposing this
This and the accounts of just disabled child content are just so infuriating to me, how can you just use your family as a way to get clout? When they can't even give consent?
Bet these are the same folks who got pushback from exploiting their kids online so they decided to monetize their helpless parents instead
I get the feeling that these type of ‘caregivers’ are actually very resentful of having to do the caretaking and kind of delight in shaming the person with dementia, not to mention making money off of them. Absolutely disgusting.
I've seen one or two accounts on IG that does a nice job on showing how to care for someone with dementia. One account the woman and her son run together, the son is in the place of the person with dementia so the mom can show an example of what to do in certain scenarios. The other, the woman uses herself as an example by playing both the role of the caregiver and the patient. Does that make sense? Neither of them show someone who actually has dementia who is just going about their day---these videos you showed aren't raising awareness or how to deal with certain situations. They're just being mean.
Oh yes I’ve probably seen them! Great examples of actual education without compromising privacy and dignity
Man this is just wrong on so many levels.
I took care of my mom for 6 years until she passed away from Colon Cancer,now taking care of my pops since 2011.He recently got a kidney transplant that luckily went well so that means no dyalisis for now.
Parents only had me so yeah its up to me to take care of them....things like this just piss me off,how can people do this?
It's so disgusting how people have been incentivized to monetize every single negative thing about themselves. There's no thought for privacy or dignity anymore it seems. Sickening. Absolutely sickening.
Theyre acting like family channel content creators and how they treat their children
How can people watch this without feeling disgusted? I hate these people. The elderly in the video clearly don't like it. The amount of disrespect they have towards their family members is mindboggling.
As a former caregiver of my mother who had end stage dementia this makes me sick. You don't treat people this way and you don't speak to a dementia patient the way these people do. You redirect you don't attack them or force them to say or do anything and you sure as heck do t sit there and exploit them on social media. ..this honestly made me cry...
If this was the only inappropriate thing a "creator" decided to share with the internet I might be surprised. Parents, children, pets and total strangers are fodder for content.
Wtf, this is completely illegal and messed up! I'm a caregiver and this isn't cool.
This is so deeply evil.
I feel so sad for that grandma 😢
These people need to be reported for elder abuse
All these "content creators" need to listen to that 6 or so hour long music album straight about dementia then maybe they'd learn some empathy
Giving a like and comment to boost algorithm but I’ve seen these people and they upset me deeply for personal reasons so abstaining from the watch but thank you for bringing attention to this exploitative, virtue signaling, dignity reducing, privacy breaching, abhorrent practice
I would never do this to my mother! These people deserve better!!
They treat her like a toddler but she i still an adult. Dementia or not she is a grown woman and she is gonna need to be treated like ine with the addition of care, to treat someone like a child when they have dementia is a definite way to anger them. I know from experience, my grandma HATED when people did that.
Oh. This is absolutely heartbreaking. I could never do this to my mother.
As a care/support worker, this is disgusting
My dad's mom, when she had dementia was so fragile and vulnerable. When her oldest son died (my dad was the youngest), they did not tell her. My dad is now in the beginning stages of it. His other brother died this year and we didn't tell him (his sister's family didnt tell her either as she also is not doing well mentally). You can keep this stuff from them .... for their mental well being.
Side note: hours before my grandma passed, we were at her side and she was speaking to her oldest son (the one who died) who apparently was sitting in the chair in the corner and asking why he had not visited her in so long .... she was carrying on a full blown conversation with him and it was the most normal conversation she had had in YEARS .. and she even was asking him where he was taking her. A couple hours later, she was gone. My paternal grandmother was my world and i was only in jr high when she passed. Even now, typing this, i have tears streaming down my face, i miss her so much. I hope she is the one who is sent to collect me in my final hours. ❤
regardless of what these old
people are suffering through they’re abusing these caregivers and a lot of people want proof and validation that what they’re being told is not right and i don’t blame them
You lost me at “they’re abusing these caregivers”
And even if that was the case…in what world does it need to be on TikTok
@@TasiaMelody you do have a lot of good points and like, in a perfect world none of this would exists im not justifying them putting it online but what these people are going through on both ends is abuse or borderline abuse.
I'm so glad I got addicted to TH-cam and never moved onto tiktok
I used to work in a care facility for people with dementia and other diseases that affect memory. One of the FIRST things you learn is to not infantilize the patients, and to adapt to what they call different things. If Res can't properly dress herself you don't say "you did a great job but your tushie is hanging out we gotta fix that" because that's the manner you'd talk to a child in. You can, of course, say "Hey I don't want to be mean but it looks like you had trouble getting dressed. Is it okay if I help you?" or otherwise word it to sound like a concerned person, not a parent giving their child the opportunity to learn how to get dressed. Dementia isn't linear; they don't go from feeling 60 to feeling 30 to feeling 6, they can feel like they're all three at the same time and also only be aware of a moment in their life. They WILL know when you're talking down to them. They're not elderly babies, they're elders who are dealing with a very serious disease
It is also important to remember that irritability is a symptom of dementia. Patients aren't acting out because they want to, they're acting out because that's what the disease is doing to them. It's really frustrating watching these videos and seeing the people caring for these people assuming that the irritability is because of who they are as a person and not because of the disease that is ravaging their brain.
Oof this is disgusting and soooo exploitative! Thank you for calling it out
I also don’t like how the people who film their dementia, patients or family members that have dementia. they always yell at them in a strict not so positive tone, which that’s OK when you’ve asked many times but it gets a little bit like are they always yelling like this? They’re not being very supportive to that person. Also, I wish people days would help the patient first without filming them and having to post. it’s kind of sad how people do that now.
I really wonder if the one mother is somewhat lucid when threatening her daughter
Her sentences were clear and direct, even if they were a bit agressive/nonsensical
Either way, she feels genuinely threatened in those videos, and it makes me wonder what the daughter is doing off screen to provoke such a reaction.
I live in assisted living and I have moments where trying to keep a cool demeanor is more important than trying to reason with them. Let them be and take care of them. Don't film everything be there for them
It’s exploitation plain and simple
i mean to my knowledge a lot of ailments are hereditary and what go around comes around
That's disgusting:/
I'll hopefully start nursing school in a year, and this kind of behaviour is absolutly awfull. It hurts me to see how explotative disabled/sick people are treated online.
This made me so sad. I cared for my Mother 24/7 with severe dementia, never once did I even think about filming her. Total virtue signaling and disgusting.
this made it on my suggested!
Damentia runs in families, they'll get their come uppance when their kids treat them even worse.
Mom treats grandma like this because grandma probably had /similar/ parenting behaviors, its partially sadistic and reeks of getting revenge on your parent that you're bitter at for having to take care of. Now grandkids are gunna treat their parents the same way ir worse.
These adults with dementia are very clear minded when theyre saying "youre mean" and "i dont like you" and "you arent helping."
You are 100% capable of understanding how people are treating you even if you are suffering from damentia.
None of this is damentia advocacy because everything shown here is abuse and exploitation.
Im with other commentors, i really hope someone who knows these elderly folk can contact family protective services. They NEED help
That’s awful omg the last video broke me.
I'm currently in a class to be a CNA and the idea of using the elderly as a prop for tiktoks just sickens me. There are ways to spread awareness of Alzheimer's and Dementia without treating people with those conditions like a circus animal
It’s her room if she wants to not wear anything let her
I've been the sole carer for my mum for quite a few years, she's bed-bound & incontinent. Fortunately she's only slightly affected by dementia & I've not had to deal with agression or other issues like some displayed in the video. It can be challenging at times, & quite tiring but I will continue to care for her as long as I can. As long as she's safe & cared for she will remain in her own home! I realise every person's situation is different, & I try not to judge, but BLOODY HELL 😳 The last thing on my mind has been picking up my phone, filming & uploading our daily lives whether it be positive or negative. My focus is Mum & what she needs, simple🤷 I'm sure there's are some carers whose posts ARE informative without being exploitative. We need more of them, & less of what we all just watched ☹️
This is so disrespectful...Honor thy mother and father that your days be long. Somehow I don't see long lives ahead
The first one is terrible even if she was out of view not everything should be shared online
I’m sorry my glasses are annoying
Nah they aren’t annoying, didn’t even notice them till I read this. But they really suit your face 😊
It drives me crazy when I see it in my videos too but I don’t think most people notice. Being a content creator that uses ring lights is one of the biggest reasons I got contacts though
i agree with the other replies. i didn’t even notice the reflection til this comment and even so it isn’t distracting ☺️
They could share awareness by simply talking about it, and not filming the people. You don’t have to show the people to talk about your experiences