Good one. Nice here is the content of the speech I came here to share with you some of my expertise in lying. For those of you who don’t know me, I am a certified CL, a competent liar. LYING IS VERY BAD, if you don’t have the skills. Don’t worry, I will teach you all the skills that you need. But before I proceed, I would like to evaluate the skills that you already have. Those of you who don’t lie, I want them please to stand up and stay up until I tell them to sit down. If you don’t lie, please stand up and stay up. Stay up please. Those of you who didn’t stand up, if you ever, ever feel reluctant to lie, those are the people to consult. And those of you who didn’t stand up, thank you very much for making me feel home. I apologize to you all, I really underestimated your skills. Maybe I don’t need to teach you skills. But I need to teach you the benefits of lying. LYING is very useful! LYING can save you from dying. Have you ever told your wife that you love another woman. And still eat everything? Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not edging you to lie... I’m BEGGING YOU to do. With ethics please, The first ethic of lying is, Lying frankly. Somebody next the door wanting to see you and you don’t want to see him, what do you do? You send your kid and ask him to open the door and tell this gentleman you are not here. And then your kid will look at you saying, “Daddy, but you are here? You want me to lie?” You just simply say, “Son, by the time you open the door, I’ll be there” Another ethic of lying is lie politely. Instead of telling somebody, “You are the most stupid man on earth.” You could also say, you are much smarter, like many other people who haven’t existed yet. Another ethic of lying is lie kindly. Never lie to people who are weaker than you. Only lie to people who are stronger than you. Shall you lie to your kids? *Wait for response* NEVER Shall you lie to your bosses? *Wait for response* AND FOREVER Shall you lie to your wives? *Hands up* It depends. But if you are equally strong, exchange lies. Another ethic of lying is lie reasonably. Anytime you lie don’t exaggerate. You see when you exaggerate, we liars are going to lose our credibility. For liars credibility matters. BELIEVE ME, do you still believe me? Liars trust each other. Another ethic of lying is lie persistently. Anytime after you lie, continue to lie. Never be shy. The most important thing is that your next lie, should be consistent with the previous lie. Don’t confuse yourself One day, I was teaching my kid about how bad lying is. Of course, before I was certified. Then we heard his mother shouting out of another room, “Who spilled the coffee here? My son was about to jump and tell his mother that it was I who spilt the coffee. I told him, “Son, please don’t” He said, “Daddy, are you asking me to lie?” I said, “No son, all I am asking you to do, is to delay the truth.” Two minutes later, the truth was discovered And I had to make another..... *Wait for someone to say - “lie” You see you are learning... I am really proud of you. I just told him, “You see son, I deliberately lied to teach you a lesson, that the truth will be discovered, sooner or later.” As I finished my sentence, my daughter came running down the stairs to her mother saying, “Sorry mummy for spilling the coffee.” Then I said, “You see son, even if you lie, and confess the things that you didn’t do, to protect your own daughter, then the truth will be still discovered. Then my daughter said, “Daddy! This has nothing to do with the one you spilled here, there is another cup of coffee. Then I felt dizzy and I was about to fall. If you have those symptoms, stop lying immediately. They call it lying overdose. Another very important ethic of lying, is that you should never, ever, lie to me. Because I’m your teacher. The most important thing to remember is lying, with all these ethics, is very unethical. Thank you.
I wish you had also shared the content here. Trying really hard to understand :)
Very Funny. Great job Mr. Issa.
One of the few instances where a recording made me laugh out loud. Brilliant speech, enthralling man.
wonderful performance Mr. Mohammad .really nice
Excellent talk, this was brilliant
Awesome video. Thanks a bunch for revealing it.
That's the best humorous speech I've ever heard :D
من أروع ما شاهدت لك .. الأبتسامة تخرج عفوية كصانعها ... جميل جميل
Excellent one.
Good one. Nice here is the content of the speech
I came here to share with you some of my expertise in lying.
For those of you who don’t know me, I am a certified CL, a competent liar.
LYING IS VERY BAD, if you don’t have the skills.
Don’t worry, I will teach you all the skills that you need.
But before I proceed, I would like to evaluate the skills that you already have.
Those of you who don’t lie, I want them please to stand up and stay up until I tell them to sit down.
If you don’t lie, please stand up and stay up.
Stay up please.
Those of you who didn’t stand up, if you ever, ever feel reluctant to lie, those are the people to consult.
And those of you who didn’t stand up, thank you very much for making me feel home.
I apologize to you all, I really underestimated your skills.
Maybe I don’t need to teach you skills.
But I need to teach you the benefits of lying.
LYING is very useful!
LYING can save you from dying.
Have you ever told your wife that you love another woman.
And still eat everything?
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not edging you to lie...
I’m BEGGING YOU to do.
With ethics please,
The first ethic of lying is, Lying frankly.
Somebody next the door wanting to see you and you don’t want to see him, what do you do?
You send your kid and ask him to open the door and tell this gentleman you are not here.
And then your kid will look at you saying, “Daddy, but you are here? You want me to lie?”
You just simply say, “Son, by the time you open the door, I’ll be there”
Another ethic of lying is lie politely.
Instead of telling somebody, “You are the most stupid man on earth.”
You could also say, you are much smarter, like many other people who haven’t existed yet.
Another ethic of lying is lie kindly.
Never lie to people who are weaker than you.
Only lie to people who are stronger than you.
Shall you lie to your kids?
*Wait for response*
NEVER
Shall you lie to your bosses?
*Wait for response*
AND FOREVER
Shall you lie to your wives?
*Hands up*
It depends.
But if you are equally strong, exchange lies.
Another ethic of lying is lie reasonably.
Anytime you lie don’t exaggerate.
You see when you exaggerate, we liars are going to lose our credibility.
For liars credibility matters.
BELIEVE ME, do you still believe me?
Liars trust each other.
Another ethic of lying is lie persistently.
Anytime after you lie, continue to lie.
Never be shy.
The most important thing is that your next lie, should be consistent with the previous lie.
Don’t confuse yourself
One day, I was teaching my kid about how bad lying is.
Of course, before I was certified.
Then we heard his mother shouting out of another room, “Who spilled the coffee here?
My son was about to jump and tell his mother that it was I who spilt the coffee.
I told him, “Son, please don’t”
He said, “Daddy, are you asking me to lie?”
I said, “No son, all I am asking you to do, is to delay the truth.”
Two minutes later, the truth was discovered
And I had to make another.....
*Wait for someone to say - “lie”
You see you are learning...
I am really proud of you.
I just told him, “You see son, I deliberately lied to teach you a lesson, that the truth will be discovered, sooner or later.”
As I finished my sentence, my daughter came running down the stairs to her mother saying, “Sorry mummy for spilling the coffee.”
Then I said, “You see son, even if you lie, and confess the things that you didn’t do, to protect your own daughter, then the truth will be still discovered.
Then my daughter said, “Daddy! This has nothing to do with the one you spilled here, there is another cup of coffee.
Then I felt dizzy and I was about to fall.
If you have those symptoms, stop lying immediately.
They call it lying overdose.
Another very important ethic of lying, is that you should never, ever, lie to me.
Because I’m your teacher.
The most important thing to remember is lying, with all these ethics, is very unethical.
Thank you.
+Firdaus Sayed Good Day. Would it be possible if I delivered your speech in an event? I would appreciate it very much. Thank you.
Thanks a lot, for the content! :)
Cool one man #DR7 😎
Does anyone have the copy of this speech? Thank you.
Awesome.. superb one
I really enjoyed it.
Awesome.. superb one.. :)
Simply GRATE
guys? do you have a copy of this speech ?
i loved it !..
can i have a copy the speech?
What can I say? :-) It is one of your masterpieces
Hilarious!
Very funny! :)
HAHAHAHA NICE