Black Cherry I didn’t “come down” on women at all. These are basic life skills. Women who don’t want respect are not my audience. Women who date men they can’t respect need these videos.
@Black Cherry most of my videos are about not letting men do exactly that. I have a few different audiences though. Mature women with experience. Young women with inexperience. And misguided young women without direction. Some of my videos are for the less aware. they aren't all for the same audience. None of my videos teach taking shit from men. Only deal with quality men. When the young misguided meet a quality man she needs to know what quality responds to. It's about perfection for a man. It's about getting the quality out of life and love that you desire.
@@KevHick Hi @Kev Hick Talks I want to know how do you know when a man is not interested in dating you after he as put it out there when you first met that he was interested? And why did he change his mind?
You nailed it !!! It is a whole lot of garden variety narcissists out there as in today . America is full of the narcissist “man” that feels like he is GOD and has control issues .
I think that is the point of possessing these traits: you get to distinguish the Narcissus, weak and stupid from the noble, good and high quality person that you want.
1. Exhibit healthy boundaries (don’t be too easy). 2. Have good self control (don’t get too drunk/high, don’t give in to peer pressure). 3. Emotional independence (don’t let one person’s feelings/actions ruin your day) 4. Self-preservation (be able to protect yourself, don’t throw caution to the wind). 5. Self prioritization (don’t prioritize a guy over yourself).
@@iridescentraindrop You can do it, Amber! Once you develop true respect for yourself everything else will naturally fall into place. In every experience you have, learn from it and most importantly - implement lasting change. Good luck, girl! You got this!
Rules in any order. I prefer 4 3..(2) isn't applicable too me ( I don't drink & or follow other suggestions hell nah 1 & 5 I consider the same..Rules..
@@emeraldeyes8688 Truth!! Esp. need to have boundaries and self control, cuz they don't, lol. 😂 Love your name, btw. I love that song, and have emerald eyes as well. Lol. 😉 😚
I agree men come and go like buses if you miss one you'll catch another one but the most important thing is not to catch an std,s in between time........ for the ladies
When I do this, it pisses some men off. Then I know immediately they had bad intentions. I get accused of being full of myself when I set boundaries. It's crazy
The guy I’m dating told me one of the reasons he was attracted to me was because he saw me as smart and self-sufficient. I appreciated that so much because my last relationship, the ex saw me as competition instead of his partner. One of the reasons the relationship broke down was due to his insecurities.
Girl same! He always made it a point to compare himself to me. No support in tough times, just bragging about how he isn't in the same situation. It's my fault because I didn't give us more time to get know each other. I'm no longer doing red flags and giving excuses, it's a deal breaker. I know I deserve better and so do you 😘
So basically SELF LOVE! Have morals, standards, be and continue building yourself, self sufficient & sustaining. AND STICK TO THEM no matter who comes!! No matter how fine. These things should be done just in general. Keep that. Dont lose who u are already.
I remember I was talking to this guy and I dont think we were even 2 days into talking and he asked me for a naked picture. I blocked his behind so quick. When I saw him again he asked me why and i said you crossed my boundary and I don't appreciate it. Try that on somebody else because it gets none here!
Meditation is the best ladies. I have been meditating for 35 days.. I came out of depression, anxiety and fears. I am peaceful and very happy in my life.
Nobody cares what men want. 🙄 they don’t even hold themselves to the same standards . I’m gonna be myself and if he doesn’t like it ... that’s too bad .
Well what he was saying is true for anybody. . Like when it comes to me respecting anybody, as a friend or whatever, I look at the things he was talking about. .Its strange though because I hadn't looked at what I was doing or what impression I was giving off. So if u just care about being respected in general I would consider what he was saying. Kev is really wise forreal.
How to earn respect from *anyone* Never look down on yourself but stay humble, admit your mistakes and forgive what can be forgiven, never make fun of others and stand your ground. Be strong❤️
You'll find freedom and clarity when you respect yourself. Start today!!! - Make a list of all of your flaws (these start with mental, emotional and spiritual flaws... then your physical if it has to do with your health opposed to anything unnecessarily superficial) - Identify ways you can improve those flaws. - Set boundaries for yourself. - Learn the word "No" and start using it on a daily basis. - Find words of affirmation to reassure yourself on a daily basis. - Start reading self-help and theological books to gain perspective and clarity outside of your current thinking. - Set some goals for yourself that you want to accomplish within the next 3-5 years that don't involve anyone else - Set a plan for those goals and put into place actual actions (applying to dream jobs/starting that business you wanted, getting fit/being more active, meeting new people, etc.) - Create a list of what you want in a man (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) and how he MUST treat you. - Do not falter from that list. It's a long list but a necessary one. I promise you'll benefit from it! Good luck!
Yes!! Exactly doesn’t happen overnight. As women we are programmed either through religion or social mores to put ourselves last or not to think highly of ourselves. We must first learn to think first act second.
The most problem with dating is that most women will project an image onto the guy which they believe it will be satisfying for the guy . The only problem is that you can’t play a role forever
Travel Channel men do it for different reasons. They don’t do it to impress us and make us stay or prove themselves to us, they do it to get in our pants.
After watching this. I can confirm!...that I was a DAMN GOOD WOMAN and that it was HIS LOSS. Like for real. I did everything on this list and he broke my heart anyway. SMH. Clearly he wasn’t the one...CLEARLY 😤😒
I love and appreciate how you focus more on building women as individuals and I think we should put the work on ourselves and focus only on being the best of ourselves and not trying to hook a guy because when you become the best you,you will ultimately attract as such!!
Thank you so much for this. I’ve been practicing all of these after leaving a long relationship where I was heavily dependent. Now I’m focused on my career, getting my masters, and having my own vehicle. Hopefully I’ll be traveling alone more soon too. I barely recognize the woman I was and I never want to return. Thanks for touching in this. I definitely respect my time and peace more.🙏🏾🙏🏾
True but also you realized that you don’t need any man whatsoever!!!! If I am having a carrier and my place why do I need to have a guy ???? I don’t.... I am choosing to stay single and have guy friends 😂.
I’ve listened to about 10-15 of these videos so far in the last 2 days and I’ve come to the conclusion that I am not as off track as I thought. I’m almost there in fact. It’s like I’m putting the finishing touches on my masterpiece called “Self Worth”. I’m glad I found this channel. ❤️
Kev VERY often talks about the type of men we shouldn't waste our time on. He is not only telling women that they need to be respectful to themselves he is also warning them against tricks that guys play on women and manipulation they use. None of his information is biassed. He is literally in every video telling everyone to stand up for themselves and to not let go their boundaries for a dude if anything he IS pro women. He's not perfect but he is being genuine. When that stops I won't hear anything else he has to say but so far hes given some very sound, unbiased and psychologically correct advice. In all honesty men have their own women Bible to. Unfortunately there just learning from a lot of players rather than real grown men that don't play great games. Don't think men are reading up on us but there not reading up on us to do right by us. There reading up on us to take what they want and give nothing back.🥴 Ladies Please don't get mad information. Information is our best defence! If you pay attention a lot of what hes saying is a lot of what we want as women. Men are not that different from women and what they want out of relationships. There just not as bold as us to admit sometimes.🤨
Agreed 100%. I think we as woman have to stop just wanting someone so that we don't feel lonely. Instead, we should love ourselves the way we would want others to love us and demand nothing less than what we deserve as queens. We should not be dating men who are not mentally, emotionally, or spiritually unfit. Instead we should want those who are either equally yoked - as in those who are on the same level as us mentally, emotionally, or spiritually - or who is willing and able to mature us in places that are lacking. Vice versa for men. We have a tendency to look at a man's potential opposed to where he is or HOPING we can change a man into who we want them to be.
Blew my mind! Guy I dated, blocked me after seeing me socializing and hugging a group of male friends from my upbringing. I was confused, #4 made sense.
True, but emotional maturity would indicate he speak to you about this, what has upset him and what he was thinking and give you the opportunity to express yourself as well and collectively decide whether you wanted to continue seeing each other or not. Blocking someone without discussion and communication is very triggered behaviour
You’re absolutely right. I never thought about it that way before. From the mans point of view, if he got you so easy what assurance does he have another man won’t be able to do the same with you in his absence. Totally makes sense. Thanks for that Kev.
There isn't necessarily any correlation btw being easy & being able to be snatched. Sometimes ppl appear 'easy' cos they like you. The girl who you feel is being'easy' is prolly making 5 other men pass through hoops for her attention simply cos she don't like them
No.... this type of guy is totally insecure about himself!!!! Because he can’t be trusted and he knows it , then he will project that onto you !!!! Wise up women !
@@giftedvoices533 Exactly!!! I really resent that notion, it just makes it look like guys are too stupid to be able to tell the difference...so while they're being sleazy and trying to pick up girls at bars to take home, then I guess they're just ho's that do that all the time, right!?!? Funny how their own advice just ends up making them look bad. Just another double standard.
YES! You have to be willing to walk away! Some guys are worth the correction...and some need it. Some guys are used to getting what they want out of women with little to no pushback. Sometimes you have to be that one...to use the incident as a teaching moment. You will know which guys are worth it and which ones you simply need to walk away from.
1: Healthy boundaries 2: Self-control 3: 4: Self-perseveration 5: Self-prioritization Ya know when I think back to middle and high school, I was often told I was mean or hard on the boys. 🤷🏽♀️ I wouldn’t give them any attention
Date 101 Enjoy yourself be respectful smile not hard. If he just cheap want to go out for drinks wasting your time. Go out with a man that can afford to take you out...go from there see if he's what you're looking for
I L.O.V.E. Kev's messages. The amount of confidence, security, and assurance in his masculinity is a breath of fresh air. Too many videos on youtube with men giving other men toxic advice. I appreciate Kev and his clear and un-jaded advice. Keep it up, Kev! Us strong women appreciate you!!!!
I've had to handle men who thought they could hug me in my husband's face or not! My husband & I have decided we won't allow the opposite sex hug us unless they're family! Some men I had to just about break glass bottles over their heads! I was raised to be nice, but life taught me to run ppl away who don't understand boundaries! Ppl see me as small! They don't know I'm a bodybuilder & exmilitary! I have no trouble ridding my life of any enemy!!!
Sounds like men are really insecure & have too many trust issues if a woman has to behave this way. He should never think, "She's this way with every man she likes". This is so not true. I've liked guys where the chemistry came later on, where it wasn't instant. Not every man gets treated the same.
Meanwhile he’s the one who is leading her into thinking it’s ok to engage in certain behaviors while she’s with him, he’s low key pressuring her into sex and all the while he is judging her harshly and after he gets what he wants he ghosts her or tells her she’s not good enough. Men are crazy.
Unfortunately men always think women will do it for every man they have talk to. I didn't date for 3 years no sex, I just focused on myself and kept working. I always blocked men who just didn't have my best interest. I am a person who likes to be alone so if my time is wasted I turn ghost . I gave a guy a chance and lost interest because of his hot and cold actions testing me .He thought I was too nice ( until I wasn't) and thought I was taken advantage of by men. I am not a last minute option and he won't get a response from me because I refuse to chase or play games.
This is the best talk so far! You are so correct! Thank You. I have been married for thirty eight years and thought i was a strong woman until i heard these words.
@@tkluvtravel So what. At the end of the day I learned something new. Keep scrolling. No one asked for your opinion. He shared facts that definitely opened a new door for me. I'm feeling that. Regardless of how it was put or how it was said.
Kev, you’re amazing: the best on the internet for advice: So many others tell women how to play the game back. But you- nahhh you build us up. We are empresses and deserve respect when we hold ourselves in high regard. Blessing . Xx
I wish I had access to your videos when I was in my 20's. This is good life advice for all relationships, especially yourself. It took me 40 years to finally love myself and realize my worth. Thank you for teaching our young women what healthy relationships and good men are. You are an awesome human ❤
Really. I have plenty guys tell me that they think that I don't need help and therefore they don't feel needed. Also, I notice that men have issues with seeing a respectable women as sexual.
Yeah in a way. If a man feels secure around you, his instinct will be to be protective of you. And men see sex as a bad deal for women because your market value depends on it. So he will try to protect you from that harm until he believes that you like him. Then the man won't stop even if you ask because he's sure that you like him. Unless you start crying of course.
Thank you. I'm talking to this man 18yrs older than me, and I'm happy to know that I've been doing everything right, at my own pace. I think he thought becus I'm young and he has 💲 that I was gonna be easy... He's so confused and turned on by me... I don't give a damn about his "status," because I demand the same RESPECT.💕 Self-respect and Confidence are Major Keys ladies!!!
What pisses me off when men who demand my digits in the first day of talking or asking me personal details about my personal life .... put them in their place go bother someone else I don't need to answer to no man like that .....
Well it must be a lot of dudes cant handle strong independent weman that knowns who she is and what she want. Cuzz I all ways got told I'm to much and stuck up , I even had a dude tell me he going to or some body going knock me off that high ladder I'm on. It's crazy being a respectful get told I'm be lone with that attitude.
Yep! I feel the same way about all this respect stuff. I EXPECT THE SAME THING out of a man as he expects for me. If I don't get it I move on! And feel bad for what?🙄😒😎
@6:50 You’re hitting on Attachment Styles big time too! I highly recommend people look into that too while we learning and healing and growing. We learn very early how to feel about ourselves and our connections and relationships to others (romantic and otherwise), from the way it’s mirrored to us by our caretakers and earliest experiences. Kev Hick Thank you for speaking this in such a practical way. Been in TH-cam university since start of quarantine- you one of my fave teachers 👩🏾🏫. “Alright-I’ll get withchyall later. “✌🏾
Loved it Kev! Love your neighbor as yourself. If you don’t love you, your neighbor (boyfriend)is going to come up short. You won’t have anything to give.
It literally all goes back to the woman loving, caring, respecting, and holding HERSELF to a higher standard, for a man to love/respect her... that’s what I’m getting..... it’s like once you find your own self love, confidence, strength etc.... that’s what you’ll get in return from a love aspect.... which is truly beautiful. ❤️ it really is!! It’s realizing that self love is the most important kind of love( aside from your love of God. Of COURSE!) From another perspective.... it’s so easy to say these things, but once IN a relationship and your emotions really get to flowing.. the mind will mess with you...A LOT/heavy... I’m dealing with it.. From this video though, I dead ass, in my head, made a home base to come back to if I start overthinking (cause is women do that, TRUST) But it’s me going back to the advice and wisdom I took from this video that’ll help A ton. Y’all men stay patient we out here trying. 🤣 “it’s the different hormones for me.!” Also, why tf is love and relationships such a damn science🙄 I’m 100% here for it, hence why I am watching this video but it’s just crazy to think about the the biological differences of the female and male brain.. shits craaaazzzy. ❤️ I love LOVE though. So that’s cool 😎👌🏻❤️
The topics you spoke off put things in a new light for me; and put a sharper focus on if people who've chronically struggled with mental health should abstain from relationships.
Between this channel and what I’ve learned from Female Dating Strategy (if you don’t know what that is please do yourself a favour and scroll through the handbook) I’m saved lol this saved me from the bob the builder, Pick me, I’ll do anything to keep a guys attention type bitch I once was. I feel so in control of my dating life. I’ve never felt this confident about being single, I could even go as far to say powerful ! I’m 25 now and at this rate I’ll have a ring in my finger by 35 😂 I completely understand now, Why my relationships weren’t getting off the ground, why I was attracting such shitty people into my life, and how to stop. I’m confident I can build not only happy relationships but healthy ones too. Leaning the best ways to conduct myself never stops, but I’m just so freaking grateful for how far I’ve come so far.
I like that thought choose ya ENERGY for the day. Awesome I love u black king.Thanks for these words .them some beautiful jewels u dropping. I appreciate them keep them coming.
So true! I used to lack self control when it came to alcohol and he started losing respect for me. And I also had zero emotional control.. Wish I would've seen sooner
Don’t forget that a lot of men that claim to want this in a woman gets around her and calls and plays games, disrespects her, calls her masculine, intimidating, strict, and too serious. Find a guy that compliments these same standards in himself because otherwise the guy Wants you to water yourself down for them and lower your standards while complaining at the same time. A guy can like you but never care to work on himself and think he deserves to have you. Nahhh
This works for everyone. Family, friends, workplaces, etc....it's never about what you bring to the table you already know. It's about what ppl are bring into your life. Are they bring life or death to you?
I recently made all 5 of these mistakes...ended up having sex with him way too soon and he disappeared the next day....he is a pastor of a church, so I lowered my standards and placed him on a pedestal....he tested me and I failed....he love bombed me and I started fantasizing about the stuff he said...I wish I knew what I know now....so, thank you young man....I'm 60 and still learning...btw...this pastor is 60 and well..keep making your videos 💜
Kev Hicks.... You dropping another video today? (Just finished watching your last one earlier today..... Loved it) I am so lit..... I haven't even started watching this one and based on the subject title..... I'm thanking you in advance. 😊
Listening to you has made me realize how many assumptions people truly make,and how easily they screw themselves out of happiness without proper communication
These things are just simply things that make you feel more confident and disciplined IF you want that. I wish this wasn't related to a man and what he wants. lol. You're gonna attract someone wherever you're at. It helps when you align yourself through your OWN lens.
Best advice, ever. Balanced, concise and to the point. It should be a mandatory video for all women who want a meaningful relationship with a quality man.
It's very hard too meet a normal man these days most men out there have eccentricities. Dating meeting men is not easy no matter how you look or act or care about yourself today.
@Kevin I'm concerned about 'stopping a guy going too far' and sexual abuse and violence. Surely this opens the door for the victim to getting blamed, ashamed and guilt tripped.
Tell us about your story,"How did you meet your wife?,"Your standards are very high,base on what you are saying here"Therefore,"I know that your wife have the same compatiable traits if you two are together and getting along very well. She has to be just like you. However Though,"I understand what you are saying one hundred percent!,"Your personna is very strong,"That makes people think that high personna persons are always ok.
TY, Emotional independence is a must for everyone. Self soothe. Self prioritization is definitely a great self care tip. If you don't practicing prioritizing yourself, it will be difficult to maintain your energy and happiness. You will quickly grow resentful at others because you chose to overextend yourself instead of setting healthy boundaries and learning when to say NO. Namaste 🕊️Peace🤸 Shalom 🐵
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For one one one coaching go to www.girltalkwithguys.com/book-and-appointment-with-kev-hick/
Black Cherry I didn’t “come down” on women at all. These are basic life skills. Women who don’t want respect are not my audience. Women who date men they can’t respect need these videos.
@Black Cherry most of my videos are about not letting men do exactly that. I have a few different audiences though. Mature women with experience. Young women with inexperience. And misguided young women without direction. Some of my videos are for the less aware. they aren't all for the same audience. None of my videos teach taking shit from men. Only deal with quality men. When the young misguided meet a quality man she needs to know what quality responds to. It's about perfection for a man. It's about getting the quality out of life and love that you desire.
Black Cherry i understand. Fatigue eludes to a pattern in choice. I’m trying to break that pattern so that women don’t grow tired 😁
@@KevHick Hi @Kev Hick Talks I want to know how do you know when a man is not interested in dating you after he as put it out there when you first met that he was interested? And why did he change his mind?
Kaiva when communication slows or comes to a halt he has lost interest
for these traits to be respected , the man also has to be emotionally healthy ..it doesn't work with narcissists or insecure men
Was just thinking this! Very true
This the one!!
Yea I was just thinking I was all of this and my ex loved it ... but he was a covert narcissist
You nailed it !!! It is a whole lot of garden variety narcissists out there as in today . America is full of the narcissist “man” that feels like he is GOD and has control issues .
I think that is the point of possessing these traits: you get to distinguish the Narcissus, weak and stupid from the noble, good and high quality person that you want.
1. Exhibit healthy boundaries (don’t be too easy).
2. Have good self control (don’t get too drunk/high, don’t give in to peer pressure).
3. Emotional independence (don’t let one person’s feelings/actions ruin your day)
4. Self-preservation (be able to protect yourself, don’t throw caution to the wind).
5. Self prioritization (don’t prioritize a guy over yourself).
Damn, I have to work on all of these things. 😔
@@iridescentraindrop You can do it, Amber! Once you develop true respect for yourself everything else will naturally fall into place. In every experience you have, learn from it and most importantly - implement lasting change. Good luck, girl! You got this!
Rules in any order.
I prefer 4 3..(2) isn't applicable too me ( I don't drink & or follow other suggestions hell nah
1 & 5 I consider the same..Rules..
I'v got all these traits, now i don't need a guy.
Thanks 😊
1. Boundaries
2. Self-Control
3. Emotional Independence
4. Self Preservation
5. Prioritize Yourself
= single. lol 😔
☺😎Amen!
Right. We need to be all that but he can be trash and still expect a woman like this. Ha!!
@@emeraldeyes8688 Truth!! Esp. need to have boundaries and self control, cuz they don't, lol. 😂
Love your name, btw. I love that song, and have emerald eyes as well. Lol. 😉 😚
@@angelataylor7799 😂
Do all these things for yourself, not for a man! Men come and go. He's speaking the truth though
💖
✊🏾✊🏾
I agree men come and go like buses if you miss one you'll catch another one but the most important thing is not to catch an std,s in between time........
for the ladies
Exactly
When I do this, it pisses some men off. Then I know immediately they had bad intentions. I get accused of being full of myself when I set boundaries. It's crazy
That means he is not the one.A real man will be honored to have a woman that respects herself
It's manipulation
@@anointedtheoryofgospel6012 exactly boom
Exactly. We still gotta be smart and not give in
@@anointedtheoryofgospel6012 exactly
The guy I’m dating told me one of the reasons he was attracted to me was because he saw me as smart and self-sufficient. I appreciated that so much because my last relationship, the ex saw me as competition instead of his partner. One of the reasons the relationship broke down was due to his insecurities.
@anil vaid you got it mixed up, its the other way around
Ugh my ex tried to compete with my parenting. He seriously wanted to try to be mum instead of dad.
@anil vaid Anal! Are you the x by chance? 🤣
Girl same! He always made it a point to compare himself to me. No support in tough times, just bragging about how he isn't in the same situation. It's my fault because I didn't give us more time to get know each other. I'm no longer doing red flags and giving excuses, it's a deal breaker. I know I deserve better and so do you 😘
So basically SELF LOVE!
Have morals, standards, be and continue building yourself, self sufficient & sustaining. AND STICK TO THEM no matter who comes!! No matter how fine.
These things should be done just in general. Keep that. Dont lose who u are already.
The fun Thing is....you have to learn to do this Either you're in a relationship or not
Yes, I need to learn this
Factsssss!
Deanna Troi Said, “respect is earned, not bestowed”
True! Very important to have boundaries it shows a lot of character
yes, at the workplace this shit men 20 plus years older than me try to pull is wack
I remember I was talking to this guy and I dont think we were even 2 days into talking and he asked me for a naked picture. I blocked his behind so quick. When I saw him again he asked me why and i said you crossed my boundary and I don't appreciate it. Try that on somebody else because it gets none here!
Luvs it!!❤️
Good😎
@@Siquomb1 hahahahahaha
GIRL RIGHT!
Carter's mom Right on girl! Bravo for you!
Meditation is the best ladies. I have been meditating for 35 days..
I came out of depression, anxiety and fears. I am peaceful and very happy in my life.
Nobody cares what men want. 🙄 they don’t even hold themselves to the same standards . I’m gonna be myself and if he doesn’t like it ... that’s too bad .
That’s what’s up
Most men dont even know what THEY want!
Facts! 🗣🗣
Exactly
Well what he was saying is true for anybody. . Like when it comes to me respecting anybody, as a friend or whatever, I look at the things he was talking about. .Its strange though because I hadn't looked at what I was doing or what impression I was giving off. So if u just care about being respected in general I would consider what he was saying. Kev is really wise forreal.
How to earn respect from *anyone*
Never look down on yourself but stay humble, admit your mistakes and forgive what can be forgiven, never make fun of others and stand your ground. Be strong❤️
Amen, Right on point
💯
I did some of this and was called weak
@@NoRevengeNeeded And I assure you that the people who called you weak are already below you, they are the weak ones.
So in a nutshell, I need to start working on respecting myself before I can expect a man to do so. Ugh, this is some tough love, Kev.
This is what I have to learn to do - respecting myself
You are with yourself 24/7 why not love and respect yourself first before you expect someone else to respect you.
You'll find freedom and clarity when you respect yourself.
Start today!!!
- Make a list of all of your flaws (these start with mental, emotional and spiritual flaws... then your physical if it has to do with your health opposed to anything unnecessarily superficial)
- Identify ways you can improve those flaws.
- Set boundaries for yourself.
- Learn the word "No" and start using it on a daily basis.
- Find words of affirmation to reassure yourself on a daily basis.
- Start reading self-help and theological books to gain perspective and clarity outside of your current thinking.
- Set some goals for yourself that you want to accomplish within the next 3-5 years that don't involve anyone else
- Set a plan for those goals and put into place actual actions (applying to dream jobs/starting that business you wanted, getting fit/being more active, meeting new people, etc.)
- Create a list of what you want in a man (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) and how he MUST treat you.
- Do not falter from that list.
It's a long list but a necessary one. I promise you'll benefit from it!
Good luck!
Yeah, it's about treating yourself the way you want to be treated. These guys won't honor you if you don't honor yourself first.
Yes!! Exactly doesn’t happen overnight. As women we are programmed either through religion or social mores to put ourselves last or not to think highly of ourselves. We must first learn to think first act second.
The most problem with dating is that most women will project an image onto the guy which they believe it will be satisfying for the guy . The only problem is that you can’t play a role forever
Lol guys do it real well. LOL Tony Gaskins calls it "sending his representative". Lol
Thats some Deep Shit..
Travel Channel Which he got from Steve Harvey. Ever since Steve Harvey used the term, every one else started using it.....
Travel Channel men do it for different reasons. They don’t do it to impress us and make us stay or prove themselves to us, they do it to get in our pants.
True.....this is why you have to level up before you even consider dating/starting a relationship!
Healthy boundaries are often confused with having a wall up!
That's exactly what narcissists make you think you are, they say you are being dishonest and building a wall up!
Agree narcissists and narcissistic behaviors totally!!!
Basically- self love is key and if you’re putting a man first 😒you’re out here losing
Thatsss facts !
We're learning lessons that we're codependent and have love addiction. Then we heal it xx
After watching this. I can confirm!...that I was a DAMN GOOD WOMAN and that it was HIS LOSS. Like for real. I did everything on this list and he broke my heart anyway. SMH. Clearly he wasn’t the one...CLEARLY 😤😒
Men say they want the perfect female that crosses everything off on their list, then they get one & treat her like trash🤦🏻♀️ I’m done dating🙄
I GET GUT INSTINCTS & I DONT IGNORE I LISTEN & RUN🏃 🏃
@@miaallen6012 yes, or they'll cheat anyway w/one of those 'no standards' ones they're telling us not to be!!! Smh. 🤦
No, he wasn't the one bcus he didnt see those good qualities only a grown man can see.
So sorry that happened to you! You deserve better.
I love and appreciate how you focus more on building women as individuals and I think we should put the work on ourselves and focus only on being the best of ourselves and not trying to hook a guy because when you become the best you,you will ultimately attract as such!!
Well said, and agreed, Nokuthaba!
Thank you for recognizing that😁
Well said. Love it.
I wish I would have had this advice when I was young. Very important for girls/women. Thanks for sharing.
"We want you to handle yo damn self" 🤣💀
Lol
Truth!
Amen
😂😂😂😂😂
Thank you so much for this. I’ve been practicing all of these after leaving a long relationship where I was heavily dependent. Now I’m focused on my career, getting my masters, and having my own vehicle. Hopefully I’ll be traveling alone more soon too. I barely recognize the woman I was and I never want to return. Thanks for touching in this. I definitely respect my time and peace more.🙏🏾🙏🏾
True but also you realized that you don’t need any man whatsoever!!!! If I am having a carrier and my place why do I need to have a guy ???? I don’t.... I am choosing to stay single and have guy friends 😂.
@@maryt7959 Ikr!? Like if we're the 'independent women' he's telling us to be...then what do we need/ want them for!?!? Lol. 😂
@@angelataylor7799 ... yes ... I said the same thing !!! 👏👍🌈... but they still hate us because we don’t want to play their GAMES !!!
@@maryt7959 right!! or more importantly, bc we don't cower to them!!! 🙅
We're on the same path. ✨✨So proud of the new version of myself which is blooming 🌸
I’ve listened to about 10-15 of these videos so far in the last 2 days and I’ve come to the conclusion that I am not as off track as I thought. I’m almost there in fact. It’s like I’m putting the finishing touches on my masterpiece called “Self Worth”. I’m glad I found this channel. ❤️
Message me on WhatsApp.
If you dont "Stand" for something you will fall for anything.......
Kev VERY often talks about the type of men we shouldn't waste our time on. He is not only telling women that they need to be respectful to themselves he is also warning them against tricks that guys play on women and manipulation they use. None of his information is biassed. He is literally in every video telling everyone to stand up for themselves and to not let go their boundaries for a dude if anything he IS pro women. He's not perfect but he is being genuine. When that stops I won't hear anything else he has to say but so far hes given some very sound, unbiased and psychologically correct advice.
In all honesty men have their own women Bible to.
Unfortunately there just learning from a lot of players rather than real grown men that don't play great games.
Don't think men are reading up on us but there not reading up on us to do right by us.
There reading up on us to take what they want and give nothing back.🥴
Ladies Please don't get mad information. Information is our best defence! If you pay attention a lot of what hes saying is a lot of what we want as women. Men are not that different from women and what they want out of relationships. There just not as bold as us to admit sometimes.🤨
I sometimes talked to ppl I shouldn’t waste time on..:( guilty of this..
Well articulated 😍
Agreed 100%.
I think we as woman have to stop just wanting someone so that we don't feel lonely. Instead, we should love ourselves the way we would want others to love us and demand nothing less than what we deserve as queens.
We should not be dating men who are not mentally, emotionally, or spiritually unfit. Instead we should want those who are either equally yoked - as in those who are on the same level as us mentally, emotionally, or spiritually - or who is willing and able to mature us in places that are lacking. Vice versa for men.
We have a tendency to look at a man's potential opposed to where he is or HOPING we can change a man into who we want them to be.
Exactly Facts 💯
OMG; I found you on Spotify today and I have been listening all afternoon, just want to say thank you for the content. I am so enjoying it
I ALWAYS HAVE TO REALLY GET TO KNOW A GUY FIRST. TO SEE IF WE CAN EVEN BE FRIENDS AND HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON.
Exactly
You not only give relationship advice, you give life advice.
Hey big brother you're loved in appreciated
Blew my mind! Guy I dated, blocked me after seeing me socializing and hugging a group of male friends from my upbringing. I was confused, #4 made sense.
True, but emotional maturity would indicate he speak to you about this, what has upset him and what he was thinking and give you the opportunity to express yourself as well and collectively decide whether you wanted to continue seeing each other or not.
Blocking someone without discussion and communication is very triggered behaviour
You’re absolutely right. I never thought about it that way before. From the mans point of view, if he got you so easy what assurance does he have another man won’t be able to do the same with you in his absence. Totally makes sense. Thanks for that Kev.
There isn't necessarily any correlation btw being easy & being able to be snatched. Sometimes ppl appear 'easy' cos they like you. The girl who you feel is being'easy' is prolly making 5 other men pass through hoops for her attention simply cos she don't like them
No.... this type of guy is totally insecure about himself!!!! Because he can’t be trusted and he knows it , then he will project that onto you !!!! Wise up women !
@@maryt7959 they're needy too.
@@giftedvoices533 Exactly!!! I really resent that notion, it just makes it look like guys are too stupid to be able to tell the difference...so while they're being sleazy and trying to pick up girls at bars to take home, then I guess they're just ho's that do that all the time, right!?!? Funny how their own advice just ends up making them look bad. Just another double standard.
@@giftedvoices533 I definitely see your point here. Maybe she lets down her guard because she really likes him and wouldn’t do that with anybody else
I love this video it feels so good to know there's still men out there like this. 👍💕💕💕
Sure dose 👍😄
Thank you for this! I have corrected a man 3 times and he is now more into me then anything. I was willing to loose him and he sensed this.
YES! You have to be willing to walk away! Some guys are worth the correction...and some need it. Some guys are used to getting what they want out of women with little to no pushback. Sometimes you have to be that one...to use the incident as a teaching moment. You will know which guys are worth it and which ones you simply need to walk away from.
Doesn't mean he's the one for you though, so be careful.
@@jamaicanflavor3737 you are my voice of reason :)
@@nailpolishinhale lol
Know your worth ladies! Don't settle for anyone less than you deserve!
1: Healthy boundaries
2: Self-control
3:
4: Self-perseveration
5: Self-prioritization
Ya know when I think back to middle and high school, I was often told I was mean or hard on the boys. 🤷🏽♀️ I wouldn’t give them any attention
👌👌
I had the same problem🤣
Date 101 Enjoy yourself be respectful smile not hard. If he just cheap want to go out for drinks wasting your time. Go out with a man that can afford to take you out...go from there see if he's what you're looking for
So does that mean you're after his money?
@@bookmice5323 no, his efforts
@@audreyc1091 Boom!
I L.O.V.E. Kev's messages. The amount of confidence, security, and assurance in his masculinity is a breath of fresh air. Too many videos on youtube with men giving other men toxic advice. I appreciate Kev and his clear and un-jaded advice. Keep it up, Kev! Us strong women appreciate you!!!!
I've had to handle men who thought they could hug me in my husband's face or not! My husband & I have decided we won't allow the opposite sex hug us unless they're family! Some men I had to just about break glass bottles over their heads! I was raised to be nice, but life taught me to run ppl away who don't understand boundaries! Ppl see me as small! They don't know I'm a bodybuilder & exmilitary! I have no trouble ridding my life of any enemy!!!
My Boyfriend and I do that too... No hugging if they ain't close family ND this goes for both of us
Sounds like men are really insecure & have too many trust issues if a woman has to behave this way. He should never think, "She's this way with every man she likes". This is so not true. I've liked guys where the chemistry came later on, where it wasn't instant. Not every man gets treated the same.
Meanwhile he’s the one who is leading her into thinking it’s ok to engage in certain behaviors while she’s with him, he’s low key pressuring her into sex and all the while he is judging her harshly and after he gets what he wants he ghosts her or tells her she’s not good enough. Men are crazy.
Oh boy .... you said it !!! Their insecurities goes as far as sexual performance ....
@@umrilifenChrist .... this is a behavior of a narcissist that doesn’t have empathy or respect for anybody !!!!
Unfortunately men always think women will do it for every man they have talk to. I didn't date for 3 years no sex, I just focused on myself and kept working. I always blocked men who just didn't have my best interest. I am a person who likes to be alone so if my time is wasted I turn ghost . I gave a guy a chance and lost interest because of his hot and cold actions testing me .He thought I was too nice ( until I wasn't) and thought I was taken advantage of by men. I am not a last minute option and he won't get a response from me because I refuse to chase or play games.
Agree
You're the big brother we need. Thanks for the solid advice, always!
It’s always tricky finding a balance with all of these points. It’s easier say than done
I found that my nonchalance to a mans bad behavior went against me. I just did it to keep from snapping. Smh..you live and you learn
Ladies, don’t be afraid to lose them even if you set your boundaries and they don’t like it. Don’t be afraid!
These are basic life lessons some of us just need to hear. Thanks!
This is the best talk so far! You are so correct! Thank You. I have been married for thirty eight years and thought i was a strong woman until i heard these words.
Emotional independence 🤔🤔🤔🤔 I like that! I've never heard of it before. It makes sense. I feel like that's what I'm definitely lacking.
Emotional intelligence
I think he said both emotional independence and emotional independence.
@@fluffypinkglitterwingz8082 actually what he's describing is emotional intelligence...(so he's not saying anything new but saying in a different way)
@@tkluvtravel So what. At the end of the day I learned something new. Keep scrolling. No one asked for your opinion. He shared facts that definitely opened a new door for me. I'm feeling that. Regardless of how it was put or how it was said.
@@fluffypinkglitterwingz8082 okay 😊👌
KEY WORDS: A STRONG Man!
Yea the broken toxic men feed off the opposite of this
"we want you to handle your damn self" daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang preach. New subbie 😉
Kev, you’re amazing: the best on the internet for advice: So many others tell women how to play the game back. But you- nahhh you build us up. We are empresses and deserve respect when we hold ourselves in high regard. Blessing . Xx
I wish I had access to your videos when I was in my 20's. This is good life advice for all relationships, especially yourself. It took me 40 years to finally love myself and realize my worth. Thank you for teaching our young women what healthy relationships and good men are. You are an awesome human ❤
Really. I have plenty guys tell me that they think that I don't need help and therefore they don't feel needed. Also, I notice that men have issues with seeing a respectable women as sexual.
Yeah in a way. If a man feels secure around you, his instinct will be to be protective of you. And men see sex as a bad deal for women because your market value depends on it. So he will try to protect you from that harm until he believes that you like him. Then the man won't stop even if you ask because he's sure that you like him. Unless you start crying of course.
Thank you. I'm talking to this man 18yrs older than me, and I'm happy to know that I've been doing everything right, at my own pace. I think he thought becus I'm young and he has 💲 that I was gonna be easy... He's so confused and turned on by me... I don't give a damn about his "status," because I demand the same RESPECT.💕 Self-respect and Confidence are Major Keys ladies!!!
It all return to " SELF " , and that is the goal ! 🖤🌙🦴
What pisses me off when men who demand my digits in the first day of talking or asking me personal details about my personal life .... put them in their place go bother someone else I don't need to answer to no man like that .....
My boss does that to me , ima plan on quiting soon. He’s Indian so it’s not surprising that they look down on women.
Missy E Men will always test your boundaries, that's what men do! They wanna know how far they can push you.
Missy E thanks i will , he thinks he can boss any woman around because of his religion
Not to mention they start talking about body parts in sentence three. Good Bye.
Well it must be a lot of dudes cant handle strong independent weman that knowns who she is and what she want. Cuzz I all ways got told I'm to much and stuck up , I even had a dude tell me he going to or some body going knock me off that high ladder I'm on. It's crazy being a respectful get told I'm be lone with that attitude.
I hope women really listen to this. This is awesome❤
Do tell, where does a lady find these "needle in a haystack" men!
Yep! I feel the same way about all this respect stuff. I EXPECT THE SAME THING out of a man as he expects for me. If I don't get it I move on!
And feel bad for what?🙄😒😎
I choose my intention for the day...I love that!
@6:50 You’re hitting on Attachment Styles big time too! I highly recommend people look into that too while we learning and healing and growing. We learn very early how to feel about ourselves and our connections and relationships to others (romantic and otherwise), from the way it’s mirrored to us by our caretakers and earliest experiences. Kev Hick Thank you for speaking this in such a practical way. Been in TH-cam university since start of quarantine- you one of my fave teachers 👩🏾🏫. “Alright-I’ll get withchyall later. “✌🏾
Also, look into codependency anonymous and limerence and love and sex addictions
Kev I love the fact that you have reduced the words you put on the side. Now it makes us concentrate more on what you are saying. 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Thank you for this information. Truth hurts sometimes, but Ladies we need and must hear these things.😔💕
Love your straightforward and easy manner in giving tips. Like a big brother helping a little sis out with dating!
Emotional Independence - needed to hear this today 🙌🏾
1. Healthy Boundaries
2. Self Control
3. Emotional Independence
4. Self Protection
5. Self Prioritization
Yo such an inspiration to the young female generation
OF ALL AGES
This guy is so calm and clear when he speaks.
Loved it Kev! Love your neighbor as yourself. If you don’t love you, your neighbor (boyfriend)is going to come up short. You won’t have anything to give.
It literally all goes back to the woman loving, caring, respecting, and holding HERSELF to a higher standard, for a man to love/respect her... that’s what I’m getting..... it’s like once you find your own self love, confidence, strength etc.... that’s what you’ll get in return from a love aspect.... which is truly beautiful. ❤️ it really is!! It’s realizing that self love is the most important kind of love( aside from your love of God. Of COURSE!)
From another perspective.... it’s so easy to say these things, but once IN a relationship and your emotions really get to flowing.. the mind will mess with you...A LOT/heavy... I’m dealing with it.. From this video though, I dead ass, in my head, made a home base to come back to if I start overthinking (cause is women do that, TRUST) But it’s me going back to the advice and wisdom I took from this video that’ll help A ton.
Y’all men stay patient we out here trying. 🤣 “it’s the different hormones for me.!”
Also, why tf is love and relationships such a damn science🙄 I’m 100% here for it, hence why I am watching this video but it’s just crazy to think about the the biological differences of the female and male brain.. shits craaaazzzy. ❤️ I love LOVE though. So that’s cool 😎👌🏻❤️
With all due respect but men wants us to be a robot with no feelings or emotions ..... something is wrong with that picture .....
The topics you spoke off put things in a new light for me; and put a sharper focus on if people who've chronically struggled with mental health should abstain from relationships.
Meditation is where it's at when it comes to mood regulation.
Between this channel and what I’ve learned from Female Dating Strategy (if you don’t know what that is please do yourself a favour and scroll through the handbook) I’m saved lol this saved me from the bob the builder, Pick me, I’ll do anything to keep a guys attention type bitch I once was. I feel so in control of my dating life. I’ve never felt this confident about being single, I could even go as far to say powerful ! I’m 25 now and at this rate I’ll have a ring in my finger by 35 😂 I completely understand now, Why my relationships weren’t getting off the ground, why I was attracting such shitty people into my life, and how to stop. I’m confident I can build not only happy relationships but healthy ones too. Leaning the best ways to conduct myself never stops, but I’m just so freaking grateful for how far I’ve come so far.
go you!!
Im a Goddess and expect my counter part to equal me. No questions asked.
I like that thought choose ya ENERGY for the day. Awesome I love u black king.Thanks for these words .them some beautiful jewels u dropping. I appreciate them keep them coming.
So true! I used to lack self control when it came to alcohol and he started losing respect for me. And I also had zero emotional control.. Wish I would've seen sooner
Kev I really appreciate your videos. I have followed you for a while and your sticking with your own personal values has been a great example!
Don’t forget that a lot of men that claim to want this in a woman gets around her and calls and plays games, disrespects her, calls her masculine, intimidating, strict, and too serious. Find a guy that compliments these same standards in himself because otherwise the guy Wants you to water yourself down for them and lower your standards while complaining at the same time. A guy can like you but never care to work on himself and think he deserves to have you. Nahhh
"He's looking for an employee and a servant." Wow that's good! 👀
Kevin hick this information is very important to be in a healthy relationship I always appreciate your knowledge for my daily life.
Self care is extremely important! I’m all about that mental health! Have people around you that love and support you!
This works for everyone. Family, friends, workplaces, etc....it's never about what you bring to the table you already know. It's about what ppl are bring into your life. Are they bring life or death to you?
My Biggest boundary in an exclusive or committed relationship is a man engaging with other women.
This stuff should be teached at school, really! Thank you for sharing 💖❣️
I am a pretty strong person but no one is perfect..it sounds like men are perfection. When they are not perfect at all.
I get excited everytime you upload a video!! 😂
I recently made all 5 of these mistakes...ended up having sex with him way too soon and he disappeared the next day....he is a pastor of a church, so I lowered my standards and placed him on a pedestal....he tested me and I failed....he love bombed me and I started fantasizing about the stuff he said...I wish I knew what I know now....so, thank you young man....I'm 60 and still learning...btw...this pastor is 60 and well..keep making your videos 💜
Kev Hicks....
You dropping another video today?
(Just finished watching your last one earlier today..... Loved it)
I am so lit.....
I haven't even started watching this one and based on the subject title.....
I'm thanking you in advance. 😊
You are a fantastic speaker, clear and highly intelligent in your delivery, thank you for all your support and wisdom :)
Man this is good stuff Kev! Thanks so much for that perspective.
Listening to you has made me realize how many assumptions people truly make,and how easily they screw themselves out of happiness without proper communication
So well spoken & True 👍 👏 🙌 thanks Kev, enjoy your day
The fun thing is I have all these traits. I'm respected. But I'm way more single than something else for these same respected traits.
It's amazing.
These things are just simply things that make you feel more confident and disciplined IF you want that. I wish this wasn't related to a man and what he wants. lol. You're gonna attract someone wherever you're at. It helps when you align yourself through your OWN lens.
Best advice, ever. Balanced, concise and to the point. It should be a mandatory video for all women who want a meaningful relationship with a quality man.
Why does the woman have to always do the job to get /keep a man? Men don't even put the least effort nowadays smh!
That’s right , all they have to offer is their ding dong or cheap ass Netflix and chill 🤣😂
It's very hard too meet a normal man these days most men out there have eccentricities. Dating meeting men is not easy no matter how you look or act or care about yourself today.
Powerful stuff! Good advice. No. Great advice.
@Kevin I'm concerned about 'stopping a guy going too far' and sexual abuse and violence. Surely this opens the door for the victim to getting blamed, ashamed and guilt tripped.
Tell us about your story,"How did you meet your wife?,"Your standards are very high,base on what you are saying here"Therefore,"I know that your wife have the same compatiable traits if you two are together and getting along very well. She has to be just like you. However Though,"I understand what you are saying one hundred percent!,"Your personna is very strong,"That makes people think that high personna persons are always ok.
TY,
Emotional independence is a must for everyone. Self soothe.
Self prioritization is definitely a great self care tip. If you don't practicing prioritizing yourself, it will be difficult to maintain your energy and happiness. You will quickly grow resentful at others because you chose to overextend yourself instead of setting healthy boundaries and learning when to say NO.
Namaste
🕊️Peace🤸 Shalom 🐵