r/Storiesaboutkevin Idiot Thief Gets Himself Arrested

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 454

  • @kammieceleek5113
    @kammieceleek5113 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +662

    That one Kevina mom seems like the epitome of the phrase "she's a little confused, but she's got the spirit", at least when it comes to her child's gluten intolerance.

    • @trumediamix1
      @trumediamix1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +43

      "Gluten-free means that it doesn't have wheat in it, tho..."
      "Well, are these wheat?"
      "..."
      "No, no - she's got a good point there..."

    • @mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072
      @mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I’ve heard that the feminine version from Kevin is like Kiva or something. I could be remembering wrong but it remembers me of that

    • @scruffylookingNerfherder5742
      @scruffylookingNerfherder5742 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      The Kevin from the first story really did sound like a bit of a lost cause but let's be fair, after seeing what his mother was like the poor kid never really stood a chance.

    • @adrianne7882
      @adrianne7882 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I think we should all start using Kevina for a female Kevin. Love it!!!

    • @scruffylookingNerfherder5742
      @scruffylookingNerfherder5742 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@adrianne7882 I'll buy that for a dollar!

  • @suspendedresolution
    @suspendedresolution 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +400

    As someone in IT, it never ceases to amaze how we're in 2024 and people still can't check if something is plugged in/powered on.

    • @shannonp1656
      @shannonp1656 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      It happens in our office every time the power goes out. Most PCs are on battery backup, but IT has to remind people it doesn't long and plugging in a lamp reduces computer time. (Edit to correct does to doesn't. Big difference.)

    • @QuietChaos1996
      @QuietChaos1996 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      I tend to do it all the time. I know its bad for the battery to ALWAYS keep it plugged in, but... I have bad anxiety. X'D

    • @KingIsulgard
      @KingIsulgard 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It doesn't matter for the battery. Who told you that?@@QuietChaos1996

    • @trumediamix1
      @trumediamix1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I remember one of my PCs (a laptop) wouldn't be able to charge itself unless I "found its sweet spot" due to internal damages that had arisen over the years. Once we got me a new PC, I just threw out the old one.
      I don't miss those headaches of trying to get that damn thing to charge.

    • @bigjalapeno7061
      @bigjalapeno7061 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      That's pretty insane

  • @ninagee4511
    @ninagee4511 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +310

    The first story reminds me "is this the Krusty Krab?"
    "No, this is Kevin"

    • @trumediamix1
      @trumediamix1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      Patrick is a Kevin metaphor, after all

    • @bigjalapeno7061
      @bigjalapeno7061 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yea that's great lol

    • @A_Rose_From_Concrete
      @A_Rose_From_Concrete 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I was really expecting that. What he said still felt very close to it 😂😂😂

    • @Sorchia56
      @Sorchia56 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      😂😂😂 I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one!!! 😂😂😂

    • @0XBlondie96X0
      @0XBlondie96X0 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's what I was gonna say!

  • @kimhohlmayer7018
    @kimhohlmayer7018 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +261

    I think you need to keep Kevin videos as a regular thing. Not only do we all enjoy them but they act as a palate cleanser for you. It’s nice for you to read something silly versus all the tragic and traumatic stories.

    • @DSoSJohnH
      @DSoSJohnH 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      This is why I pretty much quit listening to DarkFluff. It's like 99% EntitledPeople and I Don't work here. It got to depressive that it was no longer fun to listen to DarkFluff. I check once every two weekes to see if there's a MaliciousCompliance, and it's because of that he's lost a fan that checks in everyday. I know that one listener going away for like two weeks isn't going to do any harm, and I don't want it to either.
      It got so bad that I don't even listen to RSlash's EntitledPeople or Choosing Beggars because of just the overall amount of depression, and hate, that comes out of those videos.
      We need more variety than just the same two things.

    • @maggpiprime954
      @maggpiprime954 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      ​@@DSoSJohnH
      Same.
      And he also rarely reads new stories; it's all recycled, angry stories from the start of the pandemic where the OP is easily as objectionable as the karen they're calling b*tch, land whale, and other misogynistic language.
      All while Dark Fluff is going "wow! That's so crazy," like he hasn't read the same story three times in three years.
      It's disappointing for sure, coz he otherwise seems like a decent guy, and I like to support my favourite creators.

    • @sabersz
      @sabersz 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I think the issue is the subreddit largely fell off and doesn't have as many quality posts as it used to, say, four or three years ago

    • @yu-sama
      @yu-sama 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      He hasn't been uploading those for a while now no? ​@@DSoSJohnH

    • @Chuuyas_FancyHat
      @Chuuyas_FancyHat 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      And infuriating stories

  • @UchuKejiMovan
    @UchuKejiMovan 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +197

    Kevin was suppose to have been told his services are no longer required after he asked to take home a client's daughter's picture

    • @ricardomonteiro870
      @ricardomonteiro870 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +59

      The real Kevin in that story is the boss who kept him on after that incident. Opening yourself to giant lawsuits over a funny is a bold choice

    • @cmlemmus494
      @cmlemmus494 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      I think the fact that he's that age range himself is what saved the situation. It's a stupid ask, but "high school boy sees cute girl and says something stupid" isn't exactly news.

    • @UchuKejiMovan
      @UchuKejiMovan 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @cmlemmus494 nah that's well beyond a stupid high school kid ask that's how stalking begins

    • @yazajag
      @yazajag 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Exactly. He needed to be fired the day before he started that job.

  • @danielbrant6740
    @danielbrant6740 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +180

    *5th Story:* It wouldn't surprise me that a large number of the engineers who built the first atomic bombs were socially inept but technologically brilliant Kevins like this one.

    • @trumediamix1
      @trumediamix1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      Oppenheimer: "Do you realize what we just built?!"
      Engineer: "Bomb go BOOM, yes?"

    • @JamesDavy2009
      @JamesDavy2009 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      @@trumediamix1 _(in the voice of Jamie Hyneman)_ "Kevin wants big boom."

    • @TheKillerqueen40
      @TheKillerqueen40 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@JamesDavy2009 yesssss!!!

    • @simpleviewer1334
      @simpleviewer1334 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      that feels...
      Oddly relatable in school

  • @femalepapyrus
    @femalepapyrus 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +237

    Female kevin: i bought gluten-free veggies and fruits
    Other person: gluten comes from wheat
    Female Kevin: well I'm not wrong
    Me: 😂😂 well she isn't

    • @trumediamix1
      @trumediamix1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Tfw you drop a wisecrack w/o needing to be wise: 😂

    • @bigjalapeno7061
      @bigjalapeno7061 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Lol

    • @Silverserri
      @Silverserri 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I once saw a Gluten Free sticker on a baseball bat.
      1) it's wood and varnish; where would wheat even apply?
      2) was this because some allergies only require skin contact? Because I do NOT see anyone trying to eat that thing
      3) or was it because the whole gluten-free craze was so prevalent that they figured slapping a sticker on non-food items was a good marketing ploy for the gullible/stupid?

    • @ReigoVassal
      @ReigoVassal 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      r/technicallycorrect

    • @novacommander4297
      @novacommander4297 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      She's a little confused, but she's got the spirit

  • @Dog_in_tree
    @Dog_in_tree 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +50

    "I understood everything she said! 😃"
    "I guess the translation chip we implanted in your brain does work."

    • @trumediamix1
      @trumediamix1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      "Why do I see subtitles over your head?"
      "これらはリアルタイムで翻訳されている私の文章です."
      ("Those are my sentences being translated in real-time.")
      "Whoa..." 😮
      ▪︎ Cyberpunk 2077 worldbuilding joke, btw

  • @silverflight01
    @silverflight01 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +66

    Story 5: I'm no computer expert, but holy moly that's a crap ton of energy. Like, this one dude took up so much bandwith of a *university campus* that IT had to come knocking to put a stop to it.
    Geez Kevin, why do you need so much?

    • @Wendy_O._Koopa
      @Wendy_O._Koopa 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      There's a lot of porn piling up on the internet, and it's not gonna download itself.

    • @jasonwethy8360
      @jasonwethy8360 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@Wendy_O._Koopa that's what I was going to say if the previous reply wasn't already that

    • @JamesDavy2009
      @JamesDavy2009 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@Wendy_O._Koopa Around half a petabyte (~512 TB) worth. The only other scenario that would warrant a mainframe-like monstrosity guzzling energy in my experience is crypto mining.

    • @Wendy_O._Koopa
      @Wendy_O._Koopa 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@JamesDavy2009 Is _that_ all? I thought there's be a few yottabytes up there by now, at least. Just give it time, we'll get there.

    • @trumediamix1
      @trumediamix1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Honestly - I think it's because he was scammed into installing cryptominer malware.
      "Encrypted" files is likely an unintended dogwhistle for "compressed files" - which are often used to minimize the memory that coded content takes up.
      Very likely, these "encrypted files" are for mining cryptocurrency - or, worse, he's the one making said files and actively scamming others into spreading the contagion, so to say.
      Honestly, even if he tried to sue me for destruction of property - I'd have clubbed that guy's PC into oblivion for how much energy it was eating up! Super wasteful...

  • @monterrang1
    @monterrang1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +44

    the nasa kevin one feels like how i would picture dexter ( Cartoon Network ) would be as a roomate

    • @jorgefreitas5983
      @jorgefreitas5983 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I came here to write EXACTLY THIS!

  • @Zxceelxuz
    @Zxceelxuz 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +78

    That first Kevin is doomed 🤣 🤣

    • @lacko623
      @lacko623 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Well, he's definitely a Darwin-award winner in the making 😂

    • @scruffylookingNerfherder5742
      @scruffylookingNerfherder5742 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      After seeing what the poor kid's mother was like is it really a surprise? He was kind of screwed from Step 1.

  • @davewhiteduck935
    @davewhiteduck935 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +400

    Ive missed Kevin Stories. We need more of them. They are usually so fun

    • @thegreatstoneddragon9432
      @thegreatstoneddragon9432 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      ​@TheJadedLibraGuy-qy9cy Oh God. I read that whole saga and it's equal parts frustrating and terrifying.

    • @WishGender
      @WishGender 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Unfortunately there aren't nearly as many good Kevin stories posted, so rSlash can only cover them every once in a while

    • @MrDoverfield
      @MrDoverfield 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Those stories are more annoying than anything else. Just the sheer amount of stupidity people put up with is astounding.

    • @zenn9371
      @zenn9371 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      we need a weekly kevin report!

    • @zaney2172
      @zaney2172 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      They are

  • @d.phantomfan1216
    @d.phantomfan1216 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +61

    Story 1: oh God that poor boy is screwed, like that Mom clearly failed her son tremendously. I hope that boy someday grows a brain.

    • @danielbrant6740
      @danielbrant6740 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      Kevin _has_ a brain, but its mental odometer would qualify it as "low mileage." 🤣

    • @Wendy_O._Koopa
      @Wendy_O._Koopa 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      @@danielbrant6740 He's got brains, he's got so many brains he ain't even used them all yet!

    • @trumediamix1
      @trumediamix1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      The only true cure for stupidity is self-employed wisdom.
      Sometimes, you learn the hard way so that it can get easier from there.

    • @KodibearIndigo
      @KodibearIndigo 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Am I the only individual thinking that if you're not paying someone money you don't get to criticize them for work you're not paying them for. Or do y'all think that experience feeds people and pays the bills regardless of age or if they have expenses.

    • @Wendy_O._Koopa
      @Wendy_O._Koopa 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      @@KodibearIndigo You should always be able to criticize someone, regardless of extenuating circumstances. People always need to be held accountable for their actions, if someone causes harm, they need to be punished in a fair and just way. That being said, I don't think unpaid intern anythings should exist. If you can't afford to pay workers, then you don't deserve work.

  • @sarahhosl2330
    @sarahhosl2330 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +61

    How to know your Partner really loves you? When he still wants to be with you, after your mother showed her days old poop to him.

    • @bigjalapeno7061
      @bigjalapeno7061 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      What the hell

    • @Sirperfluous
      @Sirperfluous 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@bigjalapeno7061 it happens in the video

    • @ScooterBond1970
      @ScooterBond1970 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Mom craps bigger than you. 😁

  • @anna8328
    @anna8328 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    14:58 I was fully expecting that this Kevin now works for NASA.

    • @Ikajo
      @Ikajo 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I wouldn't be surprised if he has autism to be honest. Many of these would fit either autism or ADHD, actually...

    • @roberthuffer6591
      @roberthuffer6591 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I feel sorry for NASA.

  • @Qsalis
    @Qsalis 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +56

    Is this Krusty Krab?
    No, this is Patrick!

    • @danielbrant6740
      @danielbrant6740 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      "No, this is _Kevin!"_

    • @trumediamix1
      @trumediamix1 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      "I'm not a Krusty Krab!" >:T

    • @ScooterBond1970
      @ScooterBond1970 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Is mayonnaise an instrument?

  • @wakeangel2001
    @wakeangel2001 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +156

    You know what? From the first story I'm surprised they even HAD poppy seed bagels in the break room because it's well known that eating poppy seeds can make you get a false positive for opiates on a drug test

    • @punksandpoodles
      @punksandpoodles 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      ngl I mightve done the same thing 😭

    • @OriginalMomo
      @OriginalMomo 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You need to eat like 50+ pounds of poppy seeds for that to happen. It’s been scientifically confirmed years ago.

    • @RiveroftheWither
      @RiveroftheWither 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +57

      Yeah but as Myth Busters proved, you need to eat an EXCESSIVE amount. One bagel isn't going to do it, even if it's completely covered on both sides. You'd literally need to eat nothing but poppy pastries all day to register on the test.
      Please don't tell me you're one of those people who avoids eating poppyseed all together because you're afraid of a false positive...

    • @TheWombat585
      @TheWombat585 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      So fun fact it's because opium is made from ground poppyseeds

    • @NovaG0
      @NovaG0 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Happened to my dad regarding poppy seeds. Was funny

  • @AkidaUchiha
    @AkidaUchiha 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

    THE KEVIN STORIES ARE BACK! i love these stories cuz most of the time i feel like an idiot, but these stories remind me that actually, i'm pretty ok.

  • @donmcarthur2146
    @donmcarthur2146 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    "Points on the back end" is a phrase for a percentage of sales made by a company for an employee, usually a top salesperson.

  • @confloashton3617
    @confloashton3617 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    My uncle was a Kevin, every time I asked my dad about him and my uncle it was always something stupid, like using a drill bit designed for digging holes to try and mix bright red paint, throwing a sealed metal container into a burning barrel and approaching it wondering why it didn't explode, getting trapped in farm equipment the list goes on.

  • @lpfan4491
    @lpfan4491 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    0:56 Bro literally pulled a "No, this is Patrick" unironically. Quite amazing, this moment.

  • @TheOneGalactic
    @TheOneGalactic 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    That last one was wild. I think the sister thought she was Doolittle for Asian people. I can imagine her believing she is gifted.

  • @PinataFreaks
    @PinataFreaks 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    1st story: Hearing about student interns reminds me of something that happened to me while in ninth grade. I was part of a similar job readiness program and interned at a small store. With me was three guys from the same school as me, but another class. These three were idiots. They were constantly late, talked shit about the other employees when they thought they couldn't be overheard and would casually steal candy and eat it in the store. But they thought they were doing a better job than me because they would walk up to every customer and ask if they needed help, whereas I preferred to walk around in the store and let customers approach me instead.
    The last week the three idiots were kicked out and banned from the store because several boxes of chocolate had been missing and later found on the loading bay. The loading bay could be accessed from outside the store if you climbed a fence, so presumably their plan was to come back later and move them somewhere to sell or eat for themselves. The boss apparently thought I was in on it as well at first since we were from the same school. But another employee backed me up and told him that I clearly didn't get along with them, and my behavior at the job had been way better than theirs. I had also gone home earlier that day because there wasn't anything to do in the store.
    They were certain that I had told on them and confronted me in school. They were baffled when I tried to explain to them that the store had cameras. Of course they did. Every damn store has cameras to catch shoplifters. The cameras clearly got the idiots, not just stealing candy sporadically throughout the time they interned, but it also got them clearly grabbing several boxes of chocolate and moving them to the loading bay. Like I said, I didn't even see them take the chocolate since I had gone home. And they were gone the next workday. So when would I have told on them? Absolute idiots.

    • @JamesDavy2009
      @JamesDavy2009 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      TBF, they're not the only type of people who is ignorant of ceilings having eyes.

  • @smorphous8928
    @smorphous8928 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I have a small Kevin story: when I was at the mall with friends and a Kevin trying to open the elevator door. He kept on pushing the button but since that didn’t work cuz it was on the 3rd floor as it’s being used, he tried to Pri the door open with his bear hands. He left and as soon as he left the elevator door opened lol, we soon saw him trying to push a pull door lmao.

  • @avon1243
    @avon1243 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I was in the Peace Corps and spoke to a patient in Arabic to bring me a urine sample. He looked me in the eye and said “ma femsh Ingleezi” - I don’t speak English.

  • @cfredtmbg
    @cfredtmbg 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    This is such a breath of fresh air! It’s nice to hear stories that are funny and not depressing.

  • @BCFBreakfastClubFan
    @BCFBreakfastClubFan 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I love it when Dabney gets so tickled that he can't stop giggling. Makes me giggle every time.

    • @tiffanygray
      @tiffanygray 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      His laugh is so adorable and contagious

  • @itsmilan4069
    @itsmilan4069 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    nasa one sounds less of a Kevin but more like a selfish jerk

    • @banditnmbr087
      @banditnmbr087 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yup that's what I was thinking. The guy just sounds super entitled

  • @backtoklondike
    @backtoklondike 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    That door story reminds me of a news video that went viral many years ago where a burglar tried to break into an office. And they successfully picked open the lock. But then they spent 15 minutes pulling the door instead of pushing. And you would think the burglar at some point, even by accident, would've pushed the door but nope and they just gave up.

  • @amberukiseve
    @amberukiseve 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I actually laughed out loud really hard when he got to the part of "He showed us the tattoo, including the infection"

  • @ostlandr
    @ostlandr 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Ol' Billy Shakespeare said it best: "Standing, speaking, moving, and yet so fast alseep."
    My first girlfriend was a bit of a Kevin. Not unintelligent, but completely devoid of anything resembling common sense. I was a freshman in college when we got together, and she was in her senior year of high school. She called me one day in tears. She was selling candy as a fund raiser for her class trip. Yep. She ate most of the candy herself, and couldn't pay for it. There went the money I had been saving for concert tickets.
    I took her to a carnival once, and she was sure if I spent enough money on one of the games I could win her that giant teddy bear. Yeah, NO. Nobody wins at those carnival games. She was mad that I wouldn't empty my already light wallet trying.
    The worst was her "great idea" for how we could get married right away. I had told her as soon as I had a secure full time job with benefits, she was getting a ring. Kids would come AFTER the wedding. (I got that job less than two years after we broke up.) She had a better idea:
    1. I would get her pregnant.
    2. She would file false domestic violence charges against her parents, so that Social Services would get her her own apartment.
    3. I would move in with her, but we wouldn't tell Social Services I was living there, so that my income wouldn't reduce her wefare check.
    Yeah. Huge NOPE from me. That bothered me ten times more than her hooking up with a 14 year old druggie theif Kevin. (That kid is a story all by himself.)

    • @maggpiprime954
      @maggpiprime954 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Tf did I just read??
      I don't think you dodged a bullet, I think you dodged a swarm of drunken wasps, omg 😱

    • @ostlandr
      @ostlandr 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@maggpiprime954 More like a tactical nuke. Those are just highlights. There's an old Country song called "Mama's in the graveyard, Daddy's in the pen" that pretty much describes the eventual outcome if we'd gotten married.
      In my defense, she was my first, and hot AF. Singer Pam Tillis reminds me of her looks wise. Crazy high libido. And we were in love, so. . .

  • @nikitatavernitilitvynova
    @nikitatavernitilitvynova 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    I just witnessed a half Kevin moment. My brother asked me to get him some medication from the store as I was going out later. I looked the medication online and the main active is ibuprofen. I told him we have ibuprofen at home already. His response: "but my gf (a med school student) told me I need X" sometimes you can't teach common sense.
    Edit: he then continued by saying "I'm going to ask my gf again. She said that works too"

    • @JamesDavy2009
      @JamesDavy2009 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Get the generic brands! If a premium brand of medicine has the same amount of active drug as a generic brand, you'll be paying too much for the premium.

    • @nikitatavernitilitvynova
      @nikitatavernitilitvynova 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@JamesDavy2009 we already do that. I was just amazed at how my brother didn't even check that we already had it. But felt as if his med school student of a gf was smarter than me by proxy. Despite I told him we have the same active at home.

  • @MrDOCTORDERPY
    @MrDOCTORDERPY 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Story 1:Is this the Krusty Krab?
    No, this is Patrick.

  • @Iflie
    @Iflie 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    HOW do these kevinas manage to keep their babies alive? To bring more Kevins into the world....

  • @BennyLlama
    @BennyLlama 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I used to work at Burger King 20 years ago. It was the middle of the day, kind of slow and I was working the register. A lady came up to me and told me the front door was locked. I looked over as a couple walked in no problem. I figured she thought they were push doors from this direction and told her she needed to pull. She looked me dead in the eyes and said she thought they were automatic. Our building didn't have automatic doors. I'm still unsure how she got into the building as nobody holds an electric door open like they do a regular one.

  • @brittanyno5941
    @brittanyno5941 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Gluten free carrots has the same vibe as boneless pizza

    • @tiffanygray
      @tiffanygray 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      And seedless chicken!

  • @SilverFoxR
    @SilverFoxR 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I can top the CC thief story (though this isn't mine - I heard it from someone else).
    The Kevin in this story did pretty much the same thing. They copied the credit card info from customers at the clothes store they worked at and used it to buy things. How he got caught, however, was even dumber than you'd expect. He was caught buying clothes from the store he worked at... *with* his employee discount!

  • @Jayvee4635
    @Jayvee4635 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Caller: Is this Custom Quality specials?
    Kevin: No, this is Kevin

  • @seanwallace9269
    @seanwallace9269 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    One of the best criminal Kevin stories is the guy who is arrested for shoplifting from video footage, including a team jersey. He goes to court, wearing that jersey. The judge looks at the jersey, looks at a photo of the jersey provided as evidence, aandback at Kevin, repeatedly; just utterly astounded by the foolishness.

    • @JamesDavy2009
      @JamesDavy2009 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that case.

  • @freddymintarja2186
    @freddymintarja2186 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    First Kevin is like "Is this the Krusty Krab?", "No, this is Kevin!"

  • @reportturret
    @reportturret 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Story 1 makes me think of a quote "Condoms, They work!"

    • @paden1865able
      @paden1865able 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      My brother has five kids and Dad once told him, "Trojans, they're not just warriors!" when they had the scare of a sixth possible pregnancy. False alarm, thank God.

  • @MrDOCTORDERPY
    @MrDOCTORDERPY 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    With the last story, I thought she was going to be shocked that the Asian lady spoke English

  • @error_4302
    @error_4302 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    I miss the "I don't work here, lady" stories!
    But Kevin stories are too funny 😂

    • @bigjalapeno7061
      @bigjalapeno7061 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yea those are good too

    • @tiffanygray
      @tiffanygray 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      DarkFluff reads those stories often on his channel.

  • @SparkyRoosta
    @SparkyRoosta 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The last one reminded me. I was too young to remember, but my mom says, one time we had an Asian waiter, and I told my mom that I couldn't understand him. He was speaking perfect English

  • @InMintCondition13
    @InMintCondition13 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    THE CRIIIIIIIIIING OF THIS FIRST KEVIN. Can someone please stabilize me? XDDD

  • @fretfultrout2788
    @fretfultrout2788 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    KEVINS BACK HOORAY

  • @Human-kb6xc
    @Human-kb6xc 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Funny thing is, I was listening to a bunch of stories about Kevin this morning before this was even uploaded!

  • @eeveeblazelol
    @eeveeblazelol 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    totally wasnt refreshing the page waiting for the vid

  • @thatbillguy5211
    @thatbillguy5211 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Ive been binging this subreddit stories from you since yesterday. Thanks for the extra video to watch💛

  • @sasi-justsilenca3531
    @sasi-justsilenca3531 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Stories about Kevin are back. 🎉 Those are some of my favourite stories and I can listen to them over and over again

  • @Seed
    @Seed 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Yes this is my favourite subreddit!

  • @aureliaaurita4471
    @aureliaaurita4471 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Please please do r/storiesaboutkevin more often. I love these stories and your giggles are contagious 😂😂

  • @silverflight01
    @silverflight01 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Story 3: Sometimes you just have to wonder how someone thought this could work. This is something that is very easy to track, yet I guess he thought nobody would bother if he acted normal or something

  • @truthseeker9249
    @truthseeker9249 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Rslash you cracked me up with these stories today thank you. Funny stories are a nice change of pace and I really needed some good laughing.

  • @allymimijaro4802
    @allymimijaro4802 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This is my favorite subreddit for sure, please give us more Kevin Stories

  • @LimethiefSoftware
    @LimethiefSoftware 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    At first I was like, man, there are so many short Kevin storys, lol! And then i checked it was only one Kevin. Oh man I love this storys! Still laugthing at the last one.

  • @tiffanygray
    @tiffanygray 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Please please please please please read more stories from this subreddit! This and the pro and Petty revenge stories are my favorites! Plus your laugh is so adorable and contagious! I also love when you read wholesome stories!

  • @atiredfurry2558
    @atiredfurry2558 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I physically stopped twice through this video to actually just put my palm to my head in complete shock, awe, and bewildered twice. 😭

  • @Evilpricetag
    @Evilpricetag 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    There's something called blue rare for cooking your steaks, you just cook the outside barely. If you aren't aware all the bacteria & stuff that commonly makes you sick, is on the outside, so all the inside rare stuff is perfectly fine to eat. My friend it's this regularly.

    • @maggpiprime954
      @maggpiprime954 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      But that's only for cuts of meat, where you sear the surface, killing the bacteria.
      Iirc, wasn't it ground chuck Kevin ate?
      Ground meat is nothing _but_ surface, all mixed in. That's why burgers are cooked all the way through. 😅
      Btw, "stakes" are for killing vampires, "steaks" are for grilling.

    • @JamesDavy2009
      @JamesDavy2009 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Incorrect homonym: stakes are the amount you bet or the kind you drive into the garden.

    • @JamesDavy2009
      @JamesDavy2009 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @NightytimeExtras Same spelling, sounds differently describe heteronyms or homographs.

  • @Dethikah
    @Dethikah 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Man this came at the right time. Whenever I'm starting to feel incompetent at my job, these make me feel better lol.
    On the other hand, it's terrifying that ppl like this are just walking around in society 😆😅

  • @PaladinGear15
    @PaladinGear15 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I once mentioned to my sister that my American friend likes my accent, she scoffed and said "you're from England like me, you don't have an accent!".
    I tried to explain to her that everyone has an accent, it's just that everyone from England has an English accent, and she kept shaking her head at me.
    To this day I'm pretty sure she's still convinced English people are the only people on earth with no accent.

    • @ABtheButterfly
      @ABtheButterfly 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Confused because the English accent is one most famous accent in the world especially when it comes to movies and TV shows

  • @KirbyKips
    @KirbyKips 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Story 4: I work at a pool bar that’s located next to a gate that you push to exit. I watch hundreds of people enter and exit that gate multiple times a day and at least twice, you’ll see a person desperately try to pull the door open to the point where the handle looks like it’s about to come off. It’s natural to make the mistake once or twice before trying the other method, but some of these guests end up giving up because they think the gate is busted.
    My favorite story was when I watched this woman who pulled at the gate for a solid two minutes, then stared at the gate before very slowly looking at me with this look of absolute confusion on her face. I just said “you need to push it open” and she did. When the gate opened, she out her head in her hands and shouted “OH MY GOD” in absolute shame.
    It’s natural for people to take one or two tries to open a door, but doubling down on one method and not realizing it isn’t working is hilarious.

  • @GeoToni13
    @GeoToni13 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    That last one about the Kevin at the Chinese restaurant made me burst out laughing... Omg! 😂

  • @SenaC90
    @SenaC90 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I use to work in tech support. My first phone call was a lady who couldn’t get her cellphone to turn on. Long story short, she didn’t know she had to charge it in order for it to stay on and have power. She was in her 20s.

  • @apersonwhoexists3383
    @apersonwhoexists3383 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Intern Kevin is some guy who beat the main story and went back to replay and fuck around with people.

  • @condorboss3339
    @condorboss3339 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    14:50 "Kevin now works for NASA" I think I understand the problems with the Artemis Program much better now.

  • @joykate7513
    @joykate7513 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The first story Kevin gives "No this is Patrick!" Vibes

  • @JustAStump
    @JustAStump 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Yessssss!!!! Thank you! Stories about kevin are some of my favorites!

  • @addicted2mako
    @addicted2mako 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Yikes! I hope the girl was able to find her dogs that Kevin 1 let loose!
    ETA: I looked up the "points on the back end" phrase that Kevin's mom was talking about. In film, if an actor makes points on the back end, it means they get a percentage of the film's profits on top of the flat fee they were given to act in the film.
    Basically Kevina is not only convinced that the term applies outside of the film industry, but she still thinks her son can make ANY money on being an intern.

  • @JayeEllis
    @JayeEllis 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Push or Pull: The one (push) exit at my workplace is notorious for fooling people into pulling! I don't even want to mention how many try to pull multiple times, or how many just give up and go to the other door, which they push open without a thought. It's weird.

  • @Arob4343
    @Arob4343 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Kevin answers the phone: No this is Patrick

  • @matthewcolvin6462
    @matthewcolvin6462 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Story ending at 9:11: I get it. My brother is a severe paranoid schizophrenic but he wasn't always like that until his mid-twenties. I am not about to tell you stories about it. I reckon OP's mom knows she isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer but is extremely proud her daughter is more. She just wants to stay in her life the best way she knows how. Keep your bullshit to yourself and be happy you got to be raised by someone who loves you. At least you didn't have to live seeing someone who loved you become someone else that tries to kill you. Living that in a first world country will let you know real quick how fortunate you are. Even the first world has a line. If the shit you're going through doesn't perpetuate the means of production then no one cares.

  • @bonefetcherbrimley7740
    @bonefetcherbrimley7740 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    NASA story: I am imagining this computer is couch sized, and is composed of the guts from 5 desktops suspended by wires hooked to the ceiling and walls.
    A nest of extension cords pour from the huge growling gas generator devouring half the window. In one corner, a squirrel is building a nest next to the generator's exhaust vent.
    The ogre's 6 different fans roar as Kevin presses the power button. Once powered on Kevin begins to blast midnight riders through a network of hovering speakers.

  • @haleyhursh4640
    @haleyhursh4640 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for posting a video about one of my favorite subreddit, it's my 20th bday and it really made my day :) You're my favorite TH-camr!!!

  • @VelcroYuppie
    @VelcroYuppie 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have a love/hate relationship with these stories, being named Kevin. 😂

  • @asausel
    @asausel 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    In college IT came and pulled me out of class and told me that my network drive using over 90% of the space for the entire student body. All I knew was that they gave me a network drive to put my stuff on, and I used it. It turns out that the amount of free space it shows is for the entire school. It's possible I might be a Kevin.

  • @readjordan2257
    @readjordan2257 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    9:10 dude, i come from a town where the average person believed that friday 13th Halloween business. Especially since they could act extra religious at someones (whomever theyre most toxic to) expense over it

  • @DJWidget
    @DJWidget 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    "He now works for NASA." Explains why we haven't gone back to the moon recently...

  • @GloomyFish
    @GloomyFish 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Nasa Kevin is basically Serial Experiments Lain: Kevin edition

  • @survivedandthriving
    @survivedandthriving 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I am friendly acquaintances with a woman who works at a major tech company. My FA knows nothing about tech, which is the reason that she was hired there.
    The company is staffed by people like the computer-NASA-frat-brother Kevin in the second-to-last story. It is the job of my FA to help ensure that these Kevins are able to interact in socially acceptable ways with clients and other bigwigs they come across in their jobs (think CEOs, high-level government officials, etc.).
    For example, before lunch meetings with clients FA ensures everyone from her company has a suit that fits, in a non-glaring colour, and with a tie that has a basic pattern on it (no lewdness, no inside jokes, no t-shirts with slogans no animal-shaped onesies, etc.). Often, that means shopping with at least one coworker for a new suit because the coworker has lost, donated, trashed or modified the previous one(s) (the company fits the bill for the clothes but that is never the reason a new one is needed). FA makes the reservations for restaurants that are definitely not chuck-e-cheese nor anything resembling that place (despite her coworkers' protests). FA is thrilled that most restaurants now have online menus. Based on each Kevin's preferences, she narrows down the options for course, have each Kevin select from option A or B for appetizer, C or D for entree, etc. The Kevins then memorize their choices for that meal, strictly forbidden to also/instead have chicken nuggets and mac and cheese from the kids' menus. FA then reminds everyone of acceptable small-talk topics, and which topics are strictly off limits.
    And, everyone is happy. The Kevins know they can be as Kevin as they like but sometimes have to put up with the annoyance of looking and behaving for the clients' expectations in order to get the deals that allow them to do as they like for the rest of the work time. FA gets paid a huge salary to take care of 'her nerds', as she calls them, the clients get their projects done by people who excel at their jobs, and at least to the clients' eyes 'look right for it', and the company lands big contracts, pays well, gives good bonuses and perks, and lets the Kevins be Kevins almost as much as they'd like (no explosions, fires, etc. are allowed) in non-client-facing times (the majority of their time).

  • @ThatOneStrangerFromTwitter
    @ThatOneStrangerFromTwitter 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you so much for the more positive stories!! I love the silly ones, and it’s good to hear you laugh again ❤

  • @kaitycole
    @kaitycole 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’ve never heard of this subreddit! At first I thought it was just going to be about people named Kevin. (Maybe I’m a Kevin) All of these stories are funny and I feel like I know a few Kevin’s.

  • @StealthTheFoxz
    @StealthTheFoxz 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Story 2: Regarding Kevin antic 8, either I've encountered this woman while working at Walgreens or there are more like her. Because almost every week, I'd get a lady coming in and printing out Facebook posts in large quantities to send to her family.

  • @belumaiden
    @belumaiden 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I was missing so badly this subreddit. It's amazing and funny AF

  • @JohnNathanShopper
    @JohnNathanShopper 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I have never more hoped that a post has something to do with the first day of the fourth month. A pound of raw beef?

  • @caleighsmeltzer9121
    @caleighsmeltzer9121 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    As a teacher...how do I help these Kevins? 😂

  • @fredj.9593
    @fredj.9593 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for covering this subreddit again! I missed it!

  • @chowmuggins
    @chowmuggins 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Why do Kevin stories stress me out more than AmItheDevil posts 😂

    • @JamesDavy2009
      @JamesDavy2009 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Mayhaps it could be that common sense is nonexistent in American society and you're one of the few Yanks that have it. If you're not a Yank, my apologies for the assumption.

  • @itsmilan4069
    @itsmilan4069 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    8:48 now I'm glad teaching dad how to send screenshots back in 2017 😐

    • @itsmilan4069
      @itsmilan4069 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'd rather clear memory than mailbox

  • @jackmanleblanc2518
    @jackmanleblanc2518 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Kevins are almost more unhinged, but less rage inducing, than Karen's. Shit's just funny.

  • @jonathanrunsten5507
    @jonathanrunsten5507 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    PLEASE!!! Do more of these videos !!!! These videos makes me laugh more than anything else on this channel😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @brandonharrison6773
    @brandonharrison6773 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    2nd story, Kevin's mom might actually be correct about the baby carrots, in a round about kinda way. Look into how baby carrots are made and the chemical used to keep them fresh. You might never eat baby carrots again. 🥕 😂😂

  • @jeffreyaguilar8028
    @jeffreyaguilar8028 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    First story, Kevin literally did a “no this is Patrick”

  • @atlas9250
    @atlas9250 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I've only listened to the first story so far, but I'm really enjoying it. Excellent story. :D

  • @elinahalla
    @elinahalla 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Stories about Kevin is my absolute favourite!!! Please Dabne do more of these because they are the best!!!

  • @dnyalslg
    @dnyalslg 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Free labor? YTA and the Kevin, all in one!

  • @benjie128
    @benjie128 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    On the door story. One day we were moving my sister into a new apartment. It had a patio with two entrances, one from the dining area and the other from the bedroom. I was on the patio, having entered from the bedroom. Sister was trying to join me. I say try, bc she went to open the door and couldn't. She was bracing and heaving, but the door wouldn't budge. I looked at the door, outlined the bar that was down, a safety feature that prevented the door from being opened, and mined moving the bar away from its locked position. Everyone in the living/dining area saw me and just laughed.

  • @davionreed4912
    @davionreed4912 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    For the intern Kevin this sounds so much like Joseph from king of the hill on the episode where Joseph interns with hank an completely craps up doing propane.

  • @username42080
    @username42080 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    15:07 i saw this video if a little girl who acted exactly like that, it was funny and innocent cause she was a little girl who genuinely thought she learned a new language, the mom explained that she spoke English 🤣 when op told that story i immediately thought of that video, itd be more amazing if its the same people

  • @thetruth1816
    @thetruth1816 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Honestly this whole subreedit is exhausting to listen to.. I've worked with a few Kevin's in my life and I am so glad when they left and or were fired....