What to do about Mom?... Should we ask her? Janice Keefe at TEDxMSVUWomen

Janice Keefe, PhD is a Full Professor in the Department of Family Studies and Gerontology at Mount Saint Vincent University and holds appointments at two other Universities(Dal and UNB). She is Director of the Nova Scotia Centre on Aging and the Lena Isabel Jodrey Chair in Gerontology. From 2002-12 she was the Canada Research Chair in Aging and Caregiving Policy. Dr. Keefe's research expertise is in the area caregiving policy and practice, continuing care policy, rural aging and projecting baby boomer needs as they age. Dr. Keefe has received many awards for her research - most recently for her contribution to Continuing Care in Canada from the Canadian Healthcare.
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[@hkiron]

: How do you tell if an ageing parent really needs care, or if they are getting into a whiny state of mind that is a kind of regression into a child-like state demanding more attention than is available?

[@catherinegreenup4608]

Put her in a nursing home... my mother has all her faculties, she very active and involved. If I ever suggested a nursing home for her she’d disown me. She is her own person and I’m proud of her and I want to be like her if I’m privileged to reached my late 80s. She makes her own decisions and they are the right decisions for her. I’d be wrong to take over or swamp her individuality, I have no right. My mum is a baby boomer with me, one child. She accepts help by just needing me close to had if she ever needs help. That’s all, she does not want help forced on her, that would be wrong. She isn’t needy, she’s a free spirit. But I’ll always be there for her and knows that I’ll do anything I have to do to protect her, that includes never putting her into a nursing home, that would kill her. She wants to pass at home and that’s the last the loving hug that we can do for her. Not with strangers in an environment she hates.