Healing from Gaslighting
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 พ.ย. 2024
- Gaslighting is a form of manipulative abuse, in which a person causes you to doubt your memory of experiences and past events as well as your perception, which can lead to doubt of reality and questioning of your own sanity.
It is also used as a way to manipulate you into seeing a toxic and unhealthy relationship as one that is loving and filled with good intentions.
This is one of the heavy influences that a narcissist brings to a relationship that often needs to be addressed in the healing journey.
Goal of gaslighting → to preserve the narcissist’s well orchestrated and constructed image and to maintain a level of control in the relationship
If you are in a relationship with a true narcissist, you will find a pattern of gaslighting involved.
Gaslighting unleashes mental and emotional damage to those under its influence.
One of the top ways someone can experience an erosion in their mental health is to have their sense of reality become distorted.
Today I want to talk about the problem of gaslighting and how to process the healing that is needed.
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Disclaimer: The content published is for informational purposes. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in our material.
The resources given are not designed to practice medicine or give professional medical advice, including, without limitation, medical direction concerning someone's medical and mental health. Any resources given are not to be considered complete and does not cover all issues related to mental and physical health. In addition, any information given should not replace consultation with your doctor or any other mental health providers and/or specialists.
I’ve been through extreme gaslighting, may the Lord heal me and restore all stollen,it wounds your soul. Only the Lord can heal this, it makes you so afraid traumatized, all while they are stealing from you do things behind your back, I always knew what was going on although emotionally it’s like you have been beet up physically psychologically, I would freeze sometimes. Only GOD can help you🙏🥰😭there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, build our identity and value in you Lord. Your mind emotions life is one thing, God in you is another in you, you feel split.
Just saw this. Praying things are better.
Yes, somethimes all we need to hear is: "it was not ok" or "it had to be hard for you".
YES!!!!!!!
it's a miracle I didn't go crazy. I owe it to God. narcissistic parents, two sisters and I was a scapegoat,invisible child. blamed for all the bad things, parental responsibility transferred. I'm glad I can say it and someone will understand it. living alone with this experience is very difficult. being manipulated to the point like you don't deserve to live or eat. I even apologized my parents for being born. God freed me through the self-deliverence prayer. Healed my heart. Thank You Jesus❤
Everything you’re saying, I have and am living through it, in it now. Overwhelmed.
💝
There with you. Sending love.
So accurate!!! It's taken me five years to even walk back into a church. And when I sit there on Sundays I have to fight paranoia looking around me to see if there's going to be someone that I know that's heard nothing but inaccurate character assassination.... and don't even think about joining A Woman's Group. I need to move but can't right now for various reasons
Thank you (from Germany) for this video. I particularly thank you for giving me trust back into honesty in a Christian community. I decided to believe without staying a member of Church. What happened at Church was what happened in my family and I just wanted out and be able to breathe and stop the crazymaking.
In my family, my mother is narcissistic and her gaslighting is even sadistic. To this day I find it hard to grasp that a mother could be able to be so cruel to make her own child out as crazy or even mean. Like you said, no talk was ever possible. My father believes her even when there is proof against her, my siblings attack me and have developed narcissistic traits themselves. This year is the first year I dared staying away for Christmas. My parents are over 80 and physically frail now, even if absolutely clear in their minds. I felt and still feel so guilty. But one of the worst experiences of abuse happened two years ago. My mother is not at all ashamed of herself when she invents stories to manipulate decisions. She reinvents the past, defames you and gathers followers when you call her out on it. I am still struggling because as a daughter I don’t want to sink to the level of neglecting my elderly parents. I want to lead an honest, caring, straightforward life. On the other hand I feel nauseous every time I go back into that world where they all practice amnesia in order to never take responsibility and where they threaten me if I dare open my mouth whilst being sweet when I don’t. I hate this denial, complete lack of acknowledging what happened and their dehumanising disdain when I say how it hurt my feelings.
The crazy making part is that they play so sweet and actually did put the event behind themselves and look at me as if I was a disturber of peace when I insist on talking about the facts. I feel as if I needed to explain it to them again and again until they finally got it - but they won’t even listen. It’s not that they don’t get it. They do not want to get it, or rather, they create more and more defamation and lies in order to make me struggle even worse.
I must get out of it.
On the other hand I feel pity. And of course I feel grateful because they supported me financially so that I was able to study. They paid for an exchange year. But there never was any emotional support and the worst is that my mother always wrongly and paranoidly suspected me of sinful behaviour. She shamed me and blamed and criticised me all the time and my father let her. To this day I’m the black sheep and their explanation is that my depression is proof of a sinful life.
So, I need to protect myself.
It’s so difficult.
I’m so sorry to hear of all that you’ve been through. It sounds awful. I’ve experienced something similar except the sadistic narc in my family of origin was my earthly father - to distinguish him from my true Abba. I can relate to everything you shared. I chose to go no contact with all of the members of the FOO a couple years ago and it was one of the wisest decisions I have ever made. My faith is all that saved me - talk about feeling alone. The Lord is healing my heart and I’m slowly being restored again, all glory to God. I pray the same for you, friend. I pray that you lean fully on Christ Jesus and seek Him. He will heal you and bring back to your remembrance that you’re His precious and beloved daughter eternally. God bless you…
Wow, I like the portion where you share that Satan is guilty and judged and turns it and accuses us. The whole portion of Satan is a Gaslighter, reallyinistered to me. Losing a sense of reality and double mindedness. #5... is me in a nutshell and #6. I appreciate the word about forgiveness too. I always forgave, stuffed the pain down, and went into survival mode.
You popped in my mind as i was in counseling, this is exactly what i am going through because of lies I believed from people and the enemy. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. I lost myself. May the Lord put my pieces back together with his love 🙏
Amén & may our Holy Heavenly Abba bless you with the renewed capacity to love & forgive yourself.🛐🤗🕊
I left the first narcissist and he turned my sons against me. I left the second one (rebound) and five years later he is still lying about me. This experience is lonely. Thank you for helping.
I’m SO sorry. How heartbreaking. Especially for him to turn your own children on you. 💔😭 We had a narcissist relative speaking lies about us behind our backs to the rest of the family, causing them to have a distorted view of us. Honestly, to this day, I don’t know much of what they were told. We’ll never know, as the narc is now deceased. Hugs. 🤗
@@katiesanders96 That is awful! I'm very sorry that happened to you as well.
@@sarahm3614 Aw, thank you so much. 🥺🥰 That’s so kind of you to empathize when you’ve had it even worse.
Katie and Sarah M. I am so sorry guys. It hurts so much, doesn't it ❤️😪
@@margaretgrosskreuz8687 Thank you so much. 🥺💔🤗 Yes, narcissists caused the greatest amounts of hell I’ve ever been through. I think I’ve bawled during all of the last several narc videos. Healing tears.
I'm just so thankful to hear someone explain this situation from such a place of understanding. I know that can only come through experience, and I'm sorry for that, but I want to thank you for coming back to the mire to pull some of us others out. It reminds me of Christian from Pilgrim's Progress... stuck in the Slough of Despond. He worked so hard and so long to get out on his own, but when he cried out I desperation for Help, God was faithful and sent Help to pull him out. I have been in that place of despondency for so long. My abusers don't even need to gaslight me anymore because I am programmed to do it to myself. I'm thankful for times like this when God breaks through to me. What you said about "a house divided" and being at enmity with oneself really struck me. That's me. I'm so tired of being double minded and stuck in cognitive dissonance.
This hit the nail on the head for me. I've been so fearful and struggling with doublemindedness. The enemy has been gaslighting me for years, but I've been oblivious to it. This combined with OCD has left me so broken and vulnerable.
I can’t tell you how much this series has helped “validate” the abuse I was under for so long. I was brought to tears through this video and I thank you so much for spreading this word to help heal others on their journey. Thank you so much Mark for all your truth teachings.
Your channel has changed my life. I thank God for finding your channel as of recent 🙏
I so identify with being under the influence of gaslighting 1-10 …I thought I was going crazy …Satan is definitely the chief gaslighter …absolutely brilliant video …this will help so many of us Mark - Thank you ❤
This happens alot w victim blaming and abuse.
I have watched preachers and been gaslighted in ways making me doubt my salvation or my faith. Christian’s in general can manipulate verses or appear self righteous. Very encouraging and glad you brought up pastors can be narcissistic
Gaslighting is evil
This is so amazing. And one of my relationships I got gas lit so much that I started writing events down because he would then tell me that they didn't happen. Over time I observed a pattern. I tried to confront him with this pattern and got told my memory was inaccurate. I have wild ideas so I've been told this sort of thing before. When I want to prove something, I document it. Then everyone can go be quiet. We broke up. This is such a good video I am recommending it to my best friend. Hi best friend I hope you enjoy it.❤
Thank you, brother Mark :)
I find it interesting how it is called gaslighting as mentioned here in the video. Never have I ever known that of the history of that term so thank you for explaining it. My native language is not english, rather finnish, but still great to hear this on healing journey of ours.
I am personally so amazed, super thankful to God, that we in our generation can watch these free videos of our healing journey from our homes or anywhere in the world.
You have explained this so well!! I relate to this , because my husband has gaslighted me so much! Also, in Christian "culture" I find men may get a pass, whereas because I have been married once before I am automatically to blame. In fact, my husband said that to me...I was to blame. I have stayed for the sake of my testimony. Sometimes, it is difficult to find someone safe to talk to, someone who has understanding. Thank you for your ministry!
Dang! This came just at the right time. Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for this series on Narcissism. It has been very beneficial to have my painful experiences with it validated and to have a Christian perspective on how to deal with it and heal from it! Blessing!
You are incredibly accurate & extremely insightful in describing this phenomenon.
You are now my favorite counselor... learning, absorbing and sharing your videos. These are so helpful esp for me as a biblical counselor... and a person who has gone through recovery myself... still learning everyday and you are now a part of God's blessing to me. God bless you brother! 🙏 praying that God will continue to use you mightily for His kingdom.
I have been married with a narcissist 25 years, very difficult, confusing, never able to be fully happy in my relationship. Thank you for bringing light into this issue.
Hello Mark! I hope you will see this message, i just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do here!!! You have been od great help in my battle with religious ocd! God bless you brother! 🤗❤️
Awww so sweet and I’m glad for you! 🥺🥰🙌
We appreciate this so much ❤
Your ministry is changing my life and renewing my mind and bringing healing to my soul. If only I could have found you sooner! I just discovered you last night! God has been taking me through a journey over the last three years and three months of discovering all the toxic narcissistic people in my life and what narcissism is as a Christian. Thank you, thank you thank you for your Christian perspective and wisdom. I have felt guilty ending some friendships that were so toxic especially the covert narcissist are so subtle. Thank you again.
Oh Mark, your videos never fail to fill in the gap of my soul right now, left an abusive marriage after 3 long years..
It's been so tough, so so wrongly twisted into thinking that it was my fault and that I was to blame.
He was always blaming me saying I was the problem. Erroded my confidence, stripped me of all my processing kills, hesistant to trust ANYONE or ANYTHING
I'm laying in bed crying just hoping that it gets better divorces suck but divorce with a narcassistic abuser is a very lonely journey
Wow....THANK YOU!
Thank you God for Mark 🧡💜💙
Amen!
God bless you I really needed this.
My soon to be ex husband is a meth addict and alcoholic. I was in such denial about the things he was doing. The cheating, the lying, emotional and physical abuse & soo much gaslighting 😔 I wasn’t perfect and wish I got out sooner because I’m mentally abused now. A lot of things don’t make sense.
One gaslight he did not long ago was say my little brother that has autism is possessed! He then denied he said that and said the church he used to go would teach stuff this… after everything im the one to blame, he’s out telling people about me & making me sound like im the problem unfortunately 😔 thankfully my friends and family see right through him.
This is one of the best explanations I've ever heard. Every aspect of it. It's something so crucial, yet hard to explain to others. It's like total disconnect from reality. You feel so uncertain. I honestly think (for me) this was your best teaching. I've read about it, but like you noted it's become such a "pop cult" topic. I couldn't watch entire thing at once because it WAS a thriller, very real and scary, as you described the movie.
Thank you.
God bless you
Anyone struggling with fear of not being saved a good verse is “for you have been born again, not of a perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God”- 1 peter 1:23
As you describe the narcissist's m.o. & how they behave, you're describing aspects of my life. Unreal. I've stopped cold & felt goosies at certain points of this vid. smh. So helpful Mark, eternal cheers!😨🎁🎯
I have been going back & forth trying to figure out if “gaslighting” & “narcissists” are really even a thing. Is it just drama words everyone seems to use or is is really legit. I know it is but, then i start believing i am just crazy again. This abuse has just about driven me insane but, one beautiful thing about it….caused me to break and finally run into the arms of our heavenly father. So it seems another plan of the devil has backfired. Becoming so miserable that you realize God is the only way up. For some of us i guess that’s what it takes. God has a plan for my life just like he has a plan for yours!!
I really need this its right on time. Your the best
Lovely. Thanks. 🙏🏼
Maybe we could consider doing a video on how to heal the amygdala and hippocampus,... you know, struggling with remembering anything new, like scripture... from living so high stress so long
Thank you very much❤
The story I relate to most in the bible? Joseph? Why? because my brother abused me once and then attempted to continue to abuse me, but, I rebuked him and, I'm convinced, God protected me from what could have been a lot, lot worse. However, the denial and gaslighting from the rest of my family was worse - 'secondary abuse' they call it now. My mother, saying she believed me and then lat swinging back and forth between what was convenient, and protecting her beloved son at my expense. My sister is an expert gaslighter: "Oh no, he would never do anything like that!" "You've just believed it for so long, you're convinced yourself of your version of reality" (pot, kettle, black? anyone?!) Narcissists seem to forget you have actually LIVED through the experience?! They expect you to take THEIR version of your own reality? Really? Do you think I won't be a truthteller? Do you think I won't be authentic or true to myself? You think my inner child is really gonna put up with that yeh no I didn't - and so had to stand up to the very family who were supposed to protect me. if I followed the narcissistic 'story' I was accepted. If I ever spoke up I was: 'a drama queen' my father) Healing trauma and CPTSD is hard, hard work, even when God helping you ("I am healing you but it will take a long time" - recently in prayer) Healing and integration make you authentic, make you a truthteller, but at what cost? No family of my own, no husband, and issues with trust God does heal and he uses it to help others - so this is the cross abuse survivors carry - the ability to have a great deal of empathy and to help and serve others. For example, some results of CPTSD overlap with Autism and so give me an insight into the bravery and amount of energy and will it takes to get through the day as an autistic person and this empathy helps me ( and hopefully them) with my teaching work. Then there's the gift of 'impossible forgiveness' - impossible because 'in the flesh' we cannot do it - but with God's help, we can. My inner child is the most kickass truth bullet there is and the bravest! Even before I knew Christ, even when grew up with excruciating shame, horror, and depression/panic, I knew there was someone there who understood all that hurt, confusion, pain, trauma, and horror, and saw the tears that no one else saw, even when I couldn't tell anyone else for years. It was Him, with me all the time, as a little girl, even before I knew Him as an adult, as a Christian. That said, churches need to be more 'trauma-informed and more informed about the healing journey survivors go through - everyone is different but it is often a long process towards forgiveness - It's been years for me, and now even only with God's help. No survivor should be 'encouraged' too quickly into forgiveness, rather the church need to be patient, and supportive and watch God's work of healing in them, simultaneously using that authenticity to look at their own healing. For any other survivors out there - God loves you - he has given us a hard, hard path to walk, but walking through the pain with Jesus will give you insights, truths, and a deep relationship with your Father as you hold all your pain up to Him.
Thank you
Thanks alot for the help you are doing, your videos touch my soul and help me get out the loop my mind has gotten into, may Jesus bless you in godly ways for your works. Every video you do go deep
You really helped clarify gaslighting. Understanding whats going on really helps to see it when it’s happening.
Hey man this is a little off topic, but I have OCD and it has become a complete nightmare to to deal with. My themes are harm ocd, religious ocd, hocd, and contamination ocd, as well as emotional contamination ocd. So my intrusive thoughts about these other things contaminate things in the physical world, and it’s gotten to the point where I can’t even do anything that I want to do because everything has become contaminated by intrusive thoughts. I’m in therapy but that can only do so much. I read the Bible often and I understand that fear and anxiety isn’t from God, but I just want God to heal me. OCD is ruining my life. Every day is anxiety attack after anxiety attack as I worry endlessly about the future. It bullies me and pushes me around constantly. Right when i start to enjoy something it ruins it for me.
I was in the military, I used to do Muay Thai, I overcame alcoholism and I overcame smoking cigarettes, I’m a strong person. But OCD is a completely different beast. I had to stop watching horror movies because there were too many triggers in there for harm and religious ocd, but the other themes are unavoidable and my OCD makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I don’t know what to do.
Thanks Mark, you’re doing great things here.
Prayers for ya!
Will You let know how are You today? :)
Yay!!! ❤😊
Awesome video mark…very grounded drenched in love🙌🏾✨
Thank you! This was fantastic!
Precious words❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Very helpful, needed, and timely… Thank you, my brother, for following God’s leading…
Great movie. And this was to a lesser extent how my father was. Many times he would say when it was just us if i did something and when I genuinely said I didn't do it, he would say well somebody had to do it.
Im so thankful i found you, been searching for years for this type of focused healing. Thank you
Wow. God bless you. You're an excellent communicator. Thank you so much.
So thankful for your videos! Hope your family have a blessed day!
Everyone is a victim of gaslighting to at least some degree. If you are married, you will be gaslit a LOT. I don't care who you married or how good you say they are. Gaslighting comes with the territory.
Thanks!
Mark. Thank you. This was wonderful, again reminds me I am not crazy. But this crazy BEHAVIOR did really happen. So hard even now to wrap my head around just when I thought my daughter and grands would start coming around more often.
I am so grateful to have been able to see it for what it was though ☝🏼
Been watching your videos for hours I think I need to get to bed aha
Yes yes yes. .i dont know how
Hey Mark can u make a video on idols
How do you heal from this when its a spouse,and you cant leave due to lack of employment, finances, etc??? My parents are also the same. Ive been praying for a job and its not opening.
Wondering the same thing
@nourishingword8767 Hang in there. Hopefully he will do a video soon on this. It's difficult to heal when your under the same roof and the other individual or individuals never take any accountability and are stuck in dysfunction. ✝️
The church I’m at , the pastors are being brainwashed by my in-laws and my husband about me
@whispers. So wrong. I am sorry
That’s horrific. I’m so sorry!!! 💔
I had to walk away from my church. I took my abuser in, invited them to our church, and introduced them to my friends. Now that church and those friends are her friends, and I cannot turn to any of them for help.
@@anonymom_ sorry to hear that 😞 I want to leave but I have one more year till my last kid goes to college, and all our kids like that church.
@@anonymom_ 💔💔💔
My aunt is dying of cancer. I'm not really sure where to put it in my head yet as our relationship was very much like this. How to feel towards her. I realize my family has a lot of pain. I have forgiven her. Just not sure what to do now as far as to see our relationship soberly. There were good times. I was under the impression that narrisist were all bad. And there was definitely bad. But some not so bad times too.
Prayers for you! It's so hard when you're in this situation. I did with a parent. No easy answers. It's hard when you don't know what's true vs what you've believed. I did the best I could. I did the best I could. So will you. 🙏🙏🙏
Does anyone think that a narcissist can be delivered and healed?
Went No contact with parents. How ro you handle running into them in a small community?!?
Satan is the narc
I don’t think gaslighting is exclusive to narcissist
I don’t think my gaslighter a narcissist just hypocritical
So 5 years later he is still thinking about you !!! You are still influencing him !!! How about that !!!
amazing awareness and brilliantly aligned and delivered through biblical teachings and gently correction to the brethren. Thank you!
Great vid! This provided clarity for me🤍