I recently realized that when I am anxious, I start get sucked deeply into my emotions. I detach and isolate myself and just cry. My dad noticed I was off (he's an istj and we don't always see things eye to eye but he's super logical). My dad basically told me that about not sucking other people's emotions. He told me that although I wish I could be the hero and the sunshine to everyone I love, will I really be able to do that? No. We all have limits. Once you have reached that limit, then it's time to let go. I think it was one of the best pieces of advice regarding this. As idealists, we tend to forget our own limits, but we do have them and that's okay. We just gotta try our best without forgetting our limits. Thank you for this :)
I was randomly watching personality TH-cam videos today, and Discovered this channel! I went to read the comments and realized I recognize you from FJ's channel! ^-^ Just wanted to say, You have Good Taste in Channels! Lol
Dude, you're seriously awesome. I really needed this. My whole life I've been wondering why I'm so different (because i am an ENFP)and if there were others like me out there or if I'd ever meet one, and just today I found out there are :D this really helped. Thank you, and I love your videos!!
Thank you for doing this video. I am an ENFP who struggles with depression. I’m just glad there’s someone else like me out there and I’m not “the only one”. Of course, I don’t wish depression on anyone, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone and I’m not crazy!
I'm an ENFP in high school, and my depression deeply hinders my ability to connect with people and make a lot of friends. I've moved several times, so I have few friends that are stable, and I always come off as an introvert to people because I'm so afraid of saying the wrong thing. I used to be comfortable around anyone, but bullying really screwed me up and I have a tendency to get super withdrawn when I move to a new place because I tell myself if I weren't there it would be exactly the same place and I'll only make it worse or disturb the pre-existing balance by reaching out to a lot of people. I have the spirit of an ENFP but it can really get trapped within my deep self loathing. I do use taking long walks by myself as a coping mechanism, I really enjoy writing in my notebook and walking alone in nature, even if I'm usually writing about how I'd rather be with people I care about. I've been forced to be alone with all the moves I've been through, and honestly I think I need to focus on actually getting myself to make plans with people because my negative self talk tells me they'd be better off without me.
hey mitchy. that sounds really tough and I can relate. its hard when you feel isolated and depressed. its especially hard to want to do social activities. but if you look at any study, the best medicine is having deep intimate friendships with others and having those you can rely on. that being said, it doesn't happen over night and the best thing to do, is not to put too much pressure and high standards on new people you meet. just like yourself you are full of suprises and so can others be too. id say, let yourself slow down a bit and take more time doing things and being places, epecialy for enfps who are moving around constantly (even in themind) when you slowthings down you give other personality types, epeciallly ones we can be romantic with, a chance to shine.
As a ENFP this is exactly what I needed to do to get out of my depressed state. Please if y’all are ENFP’s and in the slumps take his advice bc what he’s preaching really works! After discovering this knowledge myself few years ago I’ve been able to recognize when shit gets in a bad place and able to catch it.
You know I don't usually like these types of videos but I honestly see the sincerity you are trying to put across and it did. Thank you from another ENFP
Omfg I literally just kissed my phone thank you so much!!! Seriously needed these insights it’s like you read my soul to me connected so unbelievably well to everything stated especially the part about overcoming small talk and constantly needing stimulation. Keep up the great vids hope you have a great day, week, life, etc♥️
Somehow doing tye same thing but I make annoying sound by “Huarghhhh gotta love this angel! 😭❤❤” *not feeling guilty at all for waking up the brothers*
I'm closed, introverted, never goes outside enfp probably depression lol I miss the old bubbly me. Now I'm just whatever and I don't like being around people 😅
I wonder if part of that has to do with the type of people you are with or the quality. Because whenever I feel like that it means I just need to spend time with my really good friends.
Exactly how I am now too! I just know when I’m going into a funk because of how much I close myself off from others. When I feel content I’m totally different and feel the need to be connected to everyone and the world. I actually thought I was Infp for a while but I get so much happiness and energy from being around people. I hope we can all find ourselves again soon!
Update now I feel good have been reading that subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson...I have been able to overcome my perfectionist if procrastination
Using other people as test subject is a good example because sometimes I get so selfabsorbed in negative thinking but forget it's from other people. Thank you for this tip!
Thanks for the tips. I usually bottle it up because I don't see the logic in being emotional, but I lost control and started crying today. There's no one like me in my life. Everyone is an intj, istj, enfj, or esfj. All of these "J's" are controlling and restricting me in all aspects of my life. You said it just right in the beginning about feeling like life's kicking you around. Every time this happens, I quit my job or move. I can't do that right now because I work for the people I live with. I just want to solve the problem this time instead of running. So thanks again for the tips. They help.
Honest and forth-rite Confrontation is the hardest and often best medicine for people troubles. You just gotta be honest about your boundaries with others and where your dignity starts and theirs ends
I'm an ENFP... i realised that I lurrrve connecting with people. Sometimes though I need to be by myself and do absolutely nothing so I can regain my "energy" so to speak :p
I think it's also important to basically let yourself feel bad. Sure, we are positive and proactive, but curling up and having a big cry sesh is healthy. You can't refill with the positive if you're crammed up by the negative.
A person has to feel bad & sad about things, or else their moral compass goes astray... feeling sad helps keep us considerate about the things we do & say to others... Feeling sad releases stress, toxins, and anger... and even God has sad souls in Heaven... but teaching boys not to cry or there is no crying in baseball really has made men one sided... If men cried.. the world would be a happier place!
I love your attitude towards being an ENFP. Going through a wave of depression right now and this was very helpful ♥️ keep up the good work :) like all the other people where saying if you want another ENFP friend to share life thoughts with I'm here as well 😄
Hey I'm so glad I was able to help, even just a bit. Hopefully things will turn around for you. I'm rooting for you too. And thanks for the friendship.
Thanks for your video! ENFP's are very empathic when social and like to spread joy around. It can be really challenging to be alone and sad. That's why pet's and youtube saved my life! ENFP with lots of experiences with codependency and also bouts of depression. Good thing we are very adaptable and strong willed-makes it easier to move away after learning truths after reflection periods. The loving to be alone happens later in life like after mid 20's for American-especially women. Journaling helped a lot! along with some therapy-from vetted people, and medications when necessary- can't live if there is a serotonin deficiency and eating disorders! Speaking from personal experiences and nursing work with many depressed and anxious people. Pain can cause all sorts of reactions :/
I really needed this! I have trouble with 2 and a bit of 3. Whenever I talk to others about this, it feels like they don't understand how I feel and offer solutions for small problems or just specific scenarios which makes me feel even worse afterward. It was really nice to find another person who understands these problems and even get advice on how to resolve it! I'm really glad I found this video when I did! :)
"I have to be ALONE with my THOUGHTS" - I felt that. I only recently realized that I'm an ENFP, cause I seemed to spend too much time alone to be an extrovert. Turns out it's social anxiety. Even tho I crave that sense of connection, communication in general and just spending time with others is hard to do. My anxiety and extroversion are in a constant battle that I can't seem to win yet. I'm trying my best tho and I guess I'll try therapy cause even tho I'm usually good at helping myself without external help, it doesn't seem to work with this issue It's strange to be an extrovert with social anxiety, until recently I didn't even know this combination existed
Good advice. I didn’t know I’m an ENFP until recently but I had really bad depression, was a mess and tried to kill myself twice before I was 12. I’m 15 now, I still seek treatment for depression but pretty much everything that you said where things that helped and still help (among others like therapy, meds and a mom that didn’t give up on me). Now I love who I am, I love my life, and am thoroughly enjoying my ride on this ball of dirt circling a star. I talk to literally everyone, love to try and make people laugh, or let them make me laugh. Tip for the alone thing, doing something solo, like running, swimming laps or writing are things I love to do alone. Although I kinda talk to aspects of myself when I write so maybe that doesn’t count.
I want to thank you for your inspiring words. Those classic tips for depressed/unhappy moments never worked on me. So imma try this one! Enjoy your day!
Thank you! I really love the resources that you listed as I've read the first two and gotta check out the last one to increase self awareness. As an ENFP(something I came to learn about about a year ago), I usually felt alone and weird so depression has been a part of life but after learning about the personality types and how to appreciate my quirkiness, it has helped a lot in problem solving including speaking out about my depression and anxiety to connect with others. Great video! :)
This never works at my job. My job is full of toxic people. Everyone is miserable here. I can’t seem to escape all the office energy. Even when I try to be positive and joke around it gets shut down. A lot of my depression comes from this and not feeling good here and my chronic illness. Been trying to get out of this place because it is emotionally so draining but so far no luck but I’m going to keep trying
Thank you so so so so much. As an ENFP (i did not know i was) i tried to change myself because my sensitivity and emotional behavior did not fit with a certain kind of society pattern. But thanks to your videos, self development work and coaching, I am getting proud of who I am. Proud of my Emotions and proud to be so easily able to build bridges with people even across boundaries. I feel like being a sun shinning in this world. Just one word: THANK YOU!!!!!
thank u so much for this! i am going to share something that has literally triggered my anxiety because i need approval so: trigger warning dont read this if u have ocd / anxiety i stumbled upon this randomly: "ENFP. You're selfish. You think you're not, but the truth is, ENFPs are one of the most self-centered types. While you are good at making people feel cared for, people have a tendency to realize that you are doing those things mostly to convince yourself you are a good person." this has always been the type of intrusive thought i was battling with.. so to see this in an actual page gave me anxiety and i couldnt function i am nothing like that and this sounds so manipulative from start please tell me this is indeed a wrong description of an enfp it really triggered my anxiety very badly to the point i started crying bc this is literally an old intrusive thought i had when i was going through some period of anxiety please dont judge me for being too dramatic i am truly weak i dont know how to cope bc of my anxiety and the fact this was truly put into words broke me to pieces... how can people assume i am so selfish to this point...?
I’ll be honest. If it feels like manipulation. It usually is. Even if it’s not. If you feel something is off. Trust your feelings. Your feelings are always valid.
I think it’s a load of rubbish. I have too much self hate to be a selfish person. I have no reason to be selfish. I’m not important at all XD I’m just trying to vibe
Sweeneytv thank u so much for your reply! i honestly feel a lot better after reading them i also am the type to put others first, it is only recently that i am trying to be gentle to myself i need to find a way to defend myself against manipulation and i often fail at trusting my own feelings... so thank u for the advice! btw i think u are really kind and should not be so harsh on yourself 😊
Wow a vid 2 years ago helped me... FELLOW ENFP E!! I'm feeling pretty detached and thinking about other things in the past that are catching up to me. I think I broke my limits of other people's emotions... And I can't see people because of quarantine.. or at least not as much this week. This video really helped me.. so thank you!! You're doing awesome and have a nice day!!!
Thnx man. The fact that i'm listening and feeling someone who seems to be the same as me is great. My vision as a social worker (student) is that we need to know ourselfs more, so we can figure out how to make our life better. The fact that you are doing this makes you one of my models. A like and subscribe frome me mate! Greets from Holland
Trying hard to not let other people affect my emotions so much. I am very adept at bouncing positivity off of strangers to improve my own mood. When I'm really low it feels selfish and creepy but I just lean into that feeling because I know that is just crap coming from my depressed mind. I know I'm not going to get over those icky feelings, that's part of being depressed. So I pretend(?) like I am in fact being a manipulative evil genius just using people for my own means. Like a James Bond villain. When I'm depressed I can't make myself feel like it's OK to make somebody feel happy when I know I'm doing it for selfish reasons, so I just tell myself "oh yeah, I'm frickin' hannibal lecter making that clerk smile just so I can feel better!" and then it actually happens, I'm myself again and I realize that was all just make-believe BS in my head. But in the moment, that BS is useful. Because I'm not going to pursue those social warm fuzzies when I'm thinking about not deserving them. Even when I'm feeling OK, I am aware of just how selfish my motives are to make other people happy. I'm open about it too - I will straight up tell people that whatever nice thing I did, I didn't do it for them, I did it so I could feel good. I did it because I want to be the guy that makes people happy. Sounds like an offensive position to take when I say it aloud but I've never ever had a negative reaction. I suppose there's worse things to be self-indulgent about, but the possibility for dependence on other people is real, it causes problems, and thusly this whole issue is something I've been discussing with my therapist. Thanks for this video.
Listening. The second point is so good. The other day a woman called me and told me all kinds of things she couldn’t stand about me. I felt myself sinking into shame...but I’ve been going to therapy and learning to value myself more. I stopped her from talking and said, “I don’t need to listen to you rail on me anymore. I’m done talking to you.” Then I told my husband about the conversation...and made an active decision to realize the problem was not the problem. The problem was likely going on inside of her own life. It was like 💡 for me. I have such a hard time not absorbing negativity and hurt from someone.
so true...right now im really learning to not to be sooper emotional. and that i dont need validation from someone of who i am. sometimes we are too hard on ourselves but im now learning to really try to love myself more.
Very helpful thank you :) this whole quarantine left me with a lot of anxiety. I like to have an option to go out and either get coffee and a treat or make my own coffee. Being stuck with all my thoughts at once is a handful lol
The funny thing is that i´ve experienced both situations, first being comfortable around anyone and cracking jokes und just being an enfp, but i went to the complete opposite within a short period of time. Now it´s like mike enfp-ness will shine through every now and then but i spend most of my time alone being depressed and sometimes very anxious. I´ve been depressed now for 5 years because of an abusive relationship and now stress. It´s a very dark period of my life but i´m actually quite confident that i will be fine in the future. Remember Enfps are alway some Kind of extreme in one or the other way. And by the way i think that being a male Enfp is very hard sometimes because it just doesn´t fit the male stereotype at all, being sensitive and stuff.I wish you depressed People all the best !!!!! (my english is Kind of bad by the way haha )
Hey Yeah Right I hope you are in a better space right now.. I think it's so important as humans and especially men to own their vulnerability and their emotions and for me it always shows great strength if a man is able to communicate his feelings also the ones classified as "negative" and I always wish to find a partner who is aware of their emotions and able to communicate them to me and now shut off what they think is not appropriate emotions as a man. I saw a documentary on this lately which I thought was really interesting called the mask(s) you live in and how men are trained to shut off their emotions. Did not like the second part of the film cuase It was too brutal but the first part was amazing
Am a enfp and I thought this was extremely helpful,as a person I tend to get caught up on what people say even if they didn’t mean it so this really helped thank you!!
Introspections: 1. Everything you mentioned is agitating (Personal life, work, projects I haven't started) now for me...2. I am receptive to what people want me to feel..I've found other people affect my emotions quite often now given that I'm in a chaotic environment..I agree this is an invaluable thing to learn.
I've actually started trying to be alone to fix myself but people worry when I want to be alone. I mad my friend cry today because I needed to be alone. I didn't need to talk it out.
2min30s into the video: I'm supposedly an INFJ but I can so relate... The thought of being alone with my own thoughts scares me but I also reach a 'social quota' in which I'm exhausted in a crowd... I sometimes want alone time in company if that makes sense... And on the other hand, while the thought scares me, when I'm actually alone it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
Thank you I needed this. I’m at a down point right now and I feel like I should be doing much more. Also I do feel dependent on others too much. I’m gonna try to send some more alone time 🌱
Thanks for this video! Point 1 is so true! I've noticed how I can fall into depression just from being alone, I know being alone isn't really the cause, it's an underlying issue, like I crave constant stimulation whether it's by remaining active through outdoor activities or socializing or both I definitely avoid being stuck in my own head alone with my thoughts. I Think I have gotten a bit better but I can still get frustrated with being alone.
I'm an Enfp and i just door slammed people from my life. Sometimes people don't feel or doesnt really care about my sensitiveness. i rarely get mad, but when i do people assume im always the bad one. then i'll be the bad one.
And when people know how sensitive you are.. They purposely press your buttons to get a reaction out of you... Sometimes they hurt you intentionally with no-care about it.. Meanwhile we feelers cry into our pillows... Ugly is the worst word to use on someone... and most likely, I dislike how sensitive I am.. Just like you????
Michelle R. exactly!!! that's why right now i choose to avoid getting close to people . because we ENFP got tendencies of being taken for granted. people like us only in happy times.
I do this. But try to not allow others' treatments of me to change my personality like making me care less. I love that I'm a caring person and like that, hate when I feel like I don't care
Yeah because i think thats it s something which creates some anxiety, i mean finding the right job, identity, the fact that sometimes doubt IS very strong...
Oh, thank you So MUCH for this great video, it helps a lot to have advises from someone that understand so well. And, I would like to add: wow, you look so handsome. A French Enfp :)
I think a healthy lifestyle for us is to find that balance of extravert vs introvert. Alone time is important. I think out loud... in a way I keep my own company. Sounds a bit psycho.. but we’re doing just fine. Lol
Hi Austin, Just thought I would share this link that I came across a few months ago, I was bopping up and down to one of them today in fact...thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2014/12/15-songs-that-capture-the-spirit-of-being-an-enfp/ More importantly, I LOVE your videos! Thanks so much for sharing. I hope more are in the pipeline :)
As ENFP I'm experienced depression and anxiety but most of the time I'm trigger with anxiety to start doing something even though people describe me as cool, extrovert, friendly and heartless person.
Thank you for the video! I have a few thoughts and a question on this for my fellow ENFPs. As an ENFP I totally know this feeling of being too vulnerable for the moods or words of other people, especially my friends. Same time I really struggle with dealing with some problems that I have in my life right now.. I feel like I need a lot of reassurance of my friends. And it makes me sad, when friends don't seem to understand some things or don't act sensitive about some stuff. Then I feel lonely.. I think I need the feeling of being understood. I'm wondering if this is also an ENFP thing or more related to my own personal issues like deep rooted insecurity? How can I be more independent of the thoughts/moods of friends - and where is the line for insensitive behaviour? I find myself often disappointed/hurt by people which makes me withdraw and depressed.
I know exactly what you mean. I moved out of state 2 years ago to start a new life, which is working out and it turns out its the family and friends I I left behind who don't / didn't seem to get me. This might be an ENFP need as opposed to specifically yourself. Actually hearing the word "don't" or "you shouldn't feel that way". I started coming back with "too late I already Felt it". People sometimes 😕 . I don't know if we can be more independant of thoughts/moods of friends. If I met you I would probably like you ✌ Hope this helps
but I'm fine by myself. maybe too much, I barely see or talk to ppl these last months, but I kinda enjoy that? bc I have time to work on my projects, designs...
Hey Gustavo. I am by no means saying that you can't be by yourself. Or that you should not be. It can be a trigger for depression if you deprive yourself of social contact for too long of a time, no matter the personality type. But you seem to be working on things that you enjoy, like you said such a projects. Which is totally fine and good. I know I prefer to work on certain things by myself especially if I get super motivated. So you could just be in a period where socializing is now less of a priority.
I've done very well as a loner, working on projects, etc. when I am _NOT_ feeling depressed, anxious, angry, etc. These were a times when I was motivated, secure, self confident, and keeping busy chasing my goals. So it's really no surprise that I felt great. After ending a relationship or losing a loved one when I'm prone to negative thoughts? Exactly the opposite.
I never heard about enfp. 4 years ago I became a hermit. I know my value but noone except my kids deserve my love. I venture out sometimes but I don't stay out
new enfp video out now: th-cam.com/video/o2DoN0w3088/w-d-xo.html
1) Love yourself when you're by yourself.
2) Don't let others affect your emotions too much.
3) Be proactive. Do what makes you great.
I think enfps are like sponges for emotions
lekderm completely
Ive been emotionaly abused. I felt this way be4. So insicuuure
This may be the simplest yet most accurate description of me as an ENFP that I've ever read.
I recently realized that when I am anxious, I start get sucked deeply into my emotions. I detach and isolate myself and just cry. My dad noticed I was off (he's an istj and we don't always see things eye to eye but he's super logical). My dad basically told me that about not sucking other people's emotions. He told me that although I wish I could be the hero and the sunshine to everyone I love, will I really be able to do that? No. We all have limits. Once you have reached that limit, then it's time to let go. I think it was one of the best pieces of advice regarding this. As idealists, we tend to forget our own limits, but we do have them and that's okay. We just gotta try our best without forgetting our limits. Thank you for this :)
I was randomly watching personality TH-cam videos today, and Discovered this channel! I went to read the comments and realized I recognize you from FJ's channel! ^-^ Just wanted to say, You have Good Taste in Channels! Lol
“I have to be ALONE... with my THOUGHTS?!” I said almost the exact same thing to my coworkers today. Thank you for taking the time to post.
Going through it right now. Missing my old self but having trouble finding her
Hard to read. Hope you're feeling more like yourself or rather a new you by now
Dude, you're seriously awesome. I really needed this. My whole life I've been wondering why I'm so different (because i am an ENFP)and if there were others like me out there or if I'd ever meet one, and just today I found out there are :D this really helped. Thank you, and I love your videos!!
You are very welcome! I'm so glad I was able to help you out
I have felt the same for so long this is really making me feel so much better
Thank you for doing this video. I am an ENFP who struggles with depression. I’m just glad there’s someone else like me out there and I’m not “the only one”. Of course, I don’t wish depression on anyone, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone and I’m not crazy!
Hey ,🌈
Get better and your not crazy it’s a faze in most people’s life but keep on moving forward and stay positive. Also enfp here👋🏽
Hey. ENFP here with high-functioning depression, dysthymia.
It's a daily struggle.
I love ENFPs, you are such beautiful people. from an INFJ ❤
Honestly have never met an ENFP that didn't struggle at some point in their life with a mental illness. This is a really helpful video. Great job.
This comment actually made me feel a little better about myself
I'm an ENFP in high school, and my depression deeply hinders my ability to connect with people and make a lot of friends. I've moved several times, so I have few friends that are stable, and I always come off as an introvert to people because I'm so afraid of saying the wrong thing. I used to be comfortable around anyone, but bullying really screwed me up and I have a tendency to get super withdrawn when I move to a new place because I tell myself if I weren't there it would be exactly the same place and I'll only make it worse or disturb the pre-existing balance by reaching out to a lot of people. I have the spirit of an ENFP but it can really get trapped within my deep self loathing. I do use taking long walks by myself as a coping mechanism, I really enjoy writing in my notebook and walking alone in nature, even if I'm usually writing about how I'd rather be with people I care about. I've been forced to be alone with all the moves I've been through, and honestly I think I need to focus on actually getting myself to make plans with people because my negative self talk tells me they'd be better off without me.
hey mitchy. that sounds really tough and I can relate. its hard when you feel isolated and depressed. its especially hard to want to do social activities. but if you look at any study, the best medicine is having deep intimate friendships with others and having those you can rely on. that being said, it doesn't happen over night and the best thing to do, is not to put too much pressure and high standards on new people you meet. just like yourself you are full of suprises and so can others be too. id say, let yourself slow down a bit and take more time doing things and being places, epecialy for enfps who are moving around constantly (even in themind) when you slowthings down you give other personality types, epeciallly ones we can be romantic with, a chance to shine.
Hang in Mitchy !! I know its tough.
As a ENFP this is exactly what I needed to do to get out of my depressed state. Please if y’all are ENFP’s and in the slumps take his advice bc what he’s preaching really works! After discovering this knowledge myself few years ago I’ve been able to recognize when shit gets in a bad place and able to catch it.
You know I don't usually like these types of videos but I honestly see the sincerity you are trying to put across and it did. Thank you from another ENFP
Omfg I literally just kissed my phone thank you so much!!! Seriously needed these insights it’s like you read my soul to me connected so unbelievably well to everything stated especially the part about overcoming small talk and constantly needing stimulation. Keep up the great vids hope you have a great day, week, life, etc♥️
Somehow doing tye same thing but I make annoying sound by “Huarghhhh gotta love this angel! 😭❤❤” *not feeling guilty at all for waking up the brothers*
🔑🔑🔑
I'm closed, introverted, never goes outside enfp probably depression lol I miss the old bubbly me. Now I'm just whatever and I don't like being around people 😅
I wonder if part of that has to do with the type of people you are with or the quality. Because whenever I feel like that it means I just need to spend time with my really good friends.
Me too...try come out of it ..I'm also trying
Exactly how I am now too! I just know when I’m going into a funk because of how much I close myself off from others. When I feel content I’m totally different and feel the need to be connected to everyone and the world. I actually thought I was Infp for a while but I get so much happiness and energy from being around people. I hope we can all find ourselves again soon!
Update now I feel good have been reading that subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson...I have been able to overcome my perfectionist if procrastination
Sweeneytv problem is that i think its my best friends that are making me feel this way
Using other people as test subject is a good example because sometimes I get so selfabsorbed in negative thinking but forget it's from other people. Thank you for this tip!
Thanks for the tips. I usually bottle it up because I don't see the logic in being emotional, but I lost control and started crying today. There's no one like me in my life. Everyone is an intj, istj, enfj, or esfj. All of these "J's" are controlling and restricting me in all aspects of my life. You said it just right in the beginning about feeling like life's kicking you around. Every time this happens, I quit my job or move. I can't do that right now because I work for the people I live with. I just want to solve the problem this time instead of running. So thanks again for the tips. They help.
Honest and forth-rite Confrontation is the hardest and often best medicine for people troubles. You just gotta be honest about your boundaries with others and where your dignity starts and theirs ends
@@Sweeneytv 🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
I'm an infj... if enfp are like this. .. you guys are beauty💖
Nilanjana Rai enfp here and I needed that so thank you..
That's why ENFPs and Infjs are a perfect match.
Enfp from India...😂😂
prajwal sharma
You should be really rare in your country😂
So are you❤
I'm an ENFP... i realised that I lurrrve connecting with people.
Sometimes though I need to be by myself and do absolutely nothing so I can regain my "energy" so to speak :p
Intrinsically Me yea, sometimes I just dont want to Chat with anyone and sleep, spending my time alone...
🎯🎯🎯
This is so so helpful at this exact time and moment!!!! You have no idea what an impact you've made!!!! 🙌🙌🙌🙌👏👏👏👏
I'm so happy to hear that :)
I feel you on picking up the emotions of others. My kids really effect me when they are in a bad mood
I think it's also important to basically let yourself feel bad. Sure, we are positive and proactive, but curling up and having a big cry sesh is healthy. You can't refill with the positive if you're crammed up by the negative.
absolutely.
A person has to feel bad & sad about things, or else their moral compass goes astray... feeling sad helps keep us considerate about the things we do & say to others... Feeling sad releases stress, toxins, and anger... and even God has sad souls in Heaven... but teaching boys not to cry or there is no crying in baseball really has made men one sided... If men cried.. the world would be a happier place!
True! 👍
💯💎💯
I love your attitude towards being an ENFP. Going through a wave of depression right now and this was very helpful ♥️ keep up the good work :) like all the other people where saying if you want another ENFP friend to share life thoughts with I'm here as well 😄
Hey I'm so glad I was able to help, even just a bit. Hopefully things will turn around for you. I'm rooting for you too. And thanks for the friendship.
Thanks for your video! ENFP's are very empathic when social and like to spread joy around. It can be really challenging to be alone and sad. That's why pet's and youtube saved my life! ENFP with lots of experiences with codependency and also bouts of depression. Good thing we are very adaptable and strong willed-makes it easier to move away after learning truths after reflection periods. The loving to be alone happens later in life like after mid 20's for American-especially women. Journaling helped a lot! along with some therapy-from vetted people, and medications when necessary- can't live if there is a serotonin deficiency and eating disorders! Speaking from personal experiences and nursing work with many depressed and anxious people. Pain can cause all sorts of reactions :/
This one just came in the perfect moment ! Thank you it's helped me : ) have an amazing day !
I am glad for that. You are most welcome.
Sweeneytv thank you again ! I didn’t realize you answered me, I hope everything is good
I really needed this! I have trouble with 2 and a bit of 3. Whenever I talk to others about this, it feels like they don't understand how I feel and offer solutions for small problems or just specific scenarios which makes me feel even worse afterward. It was really nice to find another person who understands these problems and even get advice on how to resolve it! I'm really glad I found this video when I did! :)
Just read this. As an ENFP, when you said ''alone time'', I had an anxiety attack and started feeling stressed at the idea.
"I have to be ALONE with my THOUGHTS" - I felt that.
I only recently realized that I'm an ENFP, cause I seemed to spend too much time alone to be an extrovert. Turns out it's social anxiety. Even tho I crave that sense of connection, communication in general and just spending time with others is hard to do. My anxiety and extroversion are in a constant battle that I can't seem to win yet. I'm trying my best tho and I guess I'll try therapy cause even tho I'm usually good at helping myself without external help, it doesn't seem to work with this issue
It's strange to be an extrovert with social anxiety, until recently I didn't even know this combination existed
Good advice. I didn’t know I’m an ENFP until recently but I had really bad depression, was a mess and tried to kill myself twice before I was 12. I’m 15 now, I still seek treatment for depression but pretty much everything that you said where things that helped and still help (among others like therapy, meds and a mom that didn’t give up on me). Now I love who I am, I love my life, and am thoroughly enjoying my ride on this ball of dirt circling a star. I talk to literally everyone, love to try and make people laugh, or let them make me laugh. Tip for the alone thing, doing something solo, like running, swimming laps or writing are things I love to do alone. Although I kinda talk to aspects of myself when I write so maybe that doesn’t count.
wow dude I just discovered that I'm an ENFP and this helped me a lot. Keep it up
I want to thank you for your inspiring words. Those classic tips for depressed/unhappy moments never worked on me. So imma try this one!
Enjoy your day!
I'm glad that my advice was able to shake things up a bit. Thank you!
You are amazing. DONT stop uploading videos... They help me ALOT! An ENFP living in Bergen Norway
Thank you! I really love the resources that you listed as I've read the first two and gotta check out the last one to increase self awareness. As an ENFP(something I came to learn about about a year ago), I usually felt alone and weird so depression has been a part of life but after learning about the personality types and how to appreciate my quirkiness, it has helped a lot in problem solving including speaking out about my depression and anxiety to connect with others. Great video! :)
All ENFPs stay strong! We gonna make it together :)
bro. you changin my life. I'm an ENFP
This never works at my job. My job is full of toxic people. Everyone is miserable here. I can’t seem to escape all the office energy. Even when I try to be positive and joke around it gets shut down. A lot of my depression comes from this and not feeling good here and my chronic illness. Been trying to get out of this place because it is emotionally so draining but so far no luck but I’m going to keep trying
INFP-T here... I have completely isolated myself which I'm trying to work through. It's crazy how accurate these tests seem to be.
Thank you so so so so much. As an ENFP (i did not know i was) i tried to change myself because my sensitivity and emotional behavior did not fit with a certain kind of society pattern. But thanks to your videos, self development work and coaching, I am getting proud of who I am. Proud of my Emotions and proud to be so easily able to build bridges with people even across boundaries. I feel like being a sun shinning in this world. Just one word: THANK YOU!!!!!
thank u so much for this!
i am going to share something that has literally triggered my anxiety
because i need approval
so: trigger warning
dont read this if u have ocd / anxiety
i stumbled upon this randomly:
"ENFP. You're selfish. You think you're not, but the truth is, ENFPs are one of the most self-centered types. While you are good at making people feel cared for, people have a tendency to realize that you are doing those things mostly to convince yourself you are a good person."
this has always been the type of intrusive thought i was battling with.. so to see this in an actual page gave me anxiety and i couldnt function
i am nothing like that and this sounds so manipulative from start
please tell me this is indeed a wrong description of an enfp
it really triggered my anxiety very badly to the point i started crying bc this is literally an old intrusive thought i had when i was going through some period of anxiety
please dont judge me for being too dramatic i am truly weak i dont know how to cope bc of my anxiety and the fact this was truly put into words broke me to pieces... how can people assume i am so selfish to this point...?
I’ll be honest. If it feels like manipulation. It usually is. Even if it’s not. If you feel something is off. Trust your feelings. Your feelings are always valid.
I think it’s a load of rubbish. I have too much self hate to be a selfish person. I have no reason to be selfish. I’m not important at all XD I’m just trying to vibe
Sweeneytv thank u so much for your reply! i honestly feel a lot better after reading them
i also am the type to put others first, it is only recently that i am trying to be gentle to myself
i need to find a way to defend myself against manipulation and i often fail at trusting my own feelings... so thank u for the advice!
btw i think u are really kind and should not be so harsh on yourself 😊
Thank you. This is very helpful. I am actually writing notes for myself from your video.
Glad to hear it!
Awesome video!! Especially the part about being proactive and good with others emotions.
Thank you :)
I found your channel out late but I’m super glad I eventually did.
Wow a vid 2 years ago helped me...
FELLOW ENFP E!!
I'm feeling pretty detached and thinking about other things in the past that are catching up to me. I think I broke my limits of other people's emotions... And I can't see people because of quarantine.. or at least not as much this week. This video really helped me.. so thank you!! You're doing awesome and have a nice day!!!
Thank you for posting that video, it really helped my to understand myself and also apprisiate myself
being an ENFP.
Thank you 😊
Thnx man. The fact that i'm listening and feeling someone who seems to be the same as me is great. My vision as a social worker (student) is that we need to know ourselfs more, so we can figure out how to make our life better. The fact that you are doing this makes you one of my models. A like and subscribe frome me mate! Greets from Holland
Trying hard to not let other people affect my emotions so much.
I am very adept at bouncing positivity off of strangers to improve my own mood. When I'm really low it feels selfish and creepy but I just lean into that feeling because I know that is just crap coming from my depressed mind. I know I'm not going to get over those icky feelings, that's part of being depressed. So I pretend(?) like I am in fact being a manipulative evil genius just using people for my own means. Like a James Bond villain. When I'm depressed I can't make myself feel like it's OK to make somebody feel happy when I know I'm doing it for selfish reasons, so I just tell myself "oh yeah, I'm frickin' hannibal lecter making that clerk smile just so I can feel better!" and then it actually happens, I'm myself again and I realize that was all just make-believe BS in my head. But in the moment, that BS is useful. Because I'm not going to pursue those social warm fuzzies when I'm thinking about not deserving them.
Even when I'm feeling OK, I am aware of just how selfish my motives are to make other people happy. I'm open about it too - I will straight up tell people that whatever nice thing I did, I didn't do it for them, I did it so I could feel good. I did it because I want to be the guy that makes people happy. Sounds like an offensive position to take when I say it aloud but I've never ever had a negative reaction.
I suppose there's worse things to be self-indulgent about, but the possibility for dependence on other people is real, it causes problems, and thusly this whole issue is something I've been discussing with my therapist. Thanks for this video.
As an ENFP, I found the book The Four Agreements very helpful with these things
I don't think I've heard of it. I'll have to check it out.
Sweeneytv Author Miguel Ruiz. Toltec native
Thanks!
Listening. The second point is so good. The other day a woman called me and told me all kinds of things she couldn’t stand about me. I felt myself sinking into shame...but I’ve been going to therapy and learning to value myself more. I stopped her from talking and said, “I don’t need to listen to you rail on me anymore. I’m done talking to you.” Then I told my husband about the conversation...and made an active decision to realize the problem was not the problem. The problem was likely going on inside of her own life. It was like 💡 for me. I have such a hard time not absorbing negativity and hurt from someone.
so true...right now im really learning to not to be sooper emotional. and that i dont need validation from someone of who i am. sometimes we are too hard on ourselves but im now learning to really try to love myself more.
Love you bro. I feel like we are old friends after watching these videos. Thank you.
u are welcome
*hugs Sweeney* you deserve a hug. It’s ok. I’m an ENFP too lol
Very helpful thank you :) this whole quarantine left me with a lot of anxiety. I like to have an option to go out and either get coffee and a treat or make my own coffee. Being stuck with all my thoughts at once is a handful lol
Thank you for this. The second point was the most relevant for me. Thank you for making this!
Cheers! :) You're welcome. Thanks for stopping by.
I love being an ENFP! We are the nicest type of people! I feel surrounded by nice people when I’m amongst ENFPs! :)
The funny thing is that i´ve experienced both situations, first being comfortable around anyone and cracking jokes und just being an enfp, but i went to the complete opposite within a short period of time. Now it´s like mike enfp-ness will shine through every now and then but i spend most of my time alone being depressed and sometimes very anxious. I´ve been depressed now for 5 years because of an abusive relationship and now stress. It´s a very dark period of my life but i´m actually quite confident that i will be fine in the future. Remember Enfps are alway some Kind of extreme in one or the other way. And by the way i think that being a male Enfp is very hard sometimes because it just doesn´t fit the male stereotype at all, being sensitive and stuff.I wish you depressed People all the best !!!!! (my english is Kind of bad by the way haha )
Hey Yeah Right I hope you are in a better space right now.. I think it's so important as humans and especially men to own their vulnerability and their emotions and for me it always shows great strength if a man is able to communicate his feelings also the ones classified as "negative" and I always wish to find a partner who is aware of their emotions and able to communicate them to me and now shut off what they think is not appropriate emotions as a man. I saw a documentary on this lately which I thought was really interesting called the mask(s) you live in and how men are trained to shut off their emotions. Did not like the second part of the film cuase It was too brutal but the first part was amazing
Am a enfp and I thought this was extremely helpful,as a person I tend to get caught up on what people say even if they didn’t mean it so this really helped thank you!!
I keep beeing a class clown and then the professor tells me to stop. But half the class laughing so. I think thats a win xd
You're just so nice.. I've been going through a rough time.. Thank you for being so positive
Introspections: 1. Everything you mentioned is agitating (Personal life, work, projects I haven't started) now for me...2. I am receptive to what people want me to feel..I've found other people affect my emotions quite often now given that I'm in a chaotic environment..I agree this is an invaluable thing to learn.
#3 was great, I challenge myself almost anytime I go out shopping, to try and make the person behind the cash register Genuinely smile. It's fun. :)
Those are very good tips, thank you!
This is really great, it helped me figure out why I was feeling depressed and how to turn it around. Thank you. 💗
I'm a INFP but i can relate to the ENFP and this video. Thank you Sweeney for posting this!
I've actually started trying to be alone to fix myself but people worry when I want to be alone. I mad my friend cry today because I needed to be alone. I didn't need to talk it out.
2min30s into the video: I'm supposedly an INFJ but I can so relate... The thought of being alone with my own thoughts scares me but I also reach a 'social quota' in which I'm exhausted in a crowd... I sometimes want alone time in company if that makes sense... And on the other hand, while the thought scares me, when I'm actually alone it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
Thank you I needed this. I’m at a down point right now and I feel like I should be doing much more. Also I do feel dependent on others too much. I’m gonna try to send some more alone time 🌱
Thank you so much for this, this was really nice to hear and helps a lot
Thank you for making this video.
You are welcome
Thanks for this video! Point 1 is so true! I've noticed how I can fall into depression just from being alone, I know being alone isn't really the cause, it's an underlying issue, like I crave constant stimulation whether it's by remaining active through outdoor activities or socializing or both I definitely avoid being stuck in my own head alone with my thoughts. I Think I have gotten a bit better but I can still get frustrated with being alone.
BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL and SPOT ON video, sir. THANK YOU,
~An ENFP
Great video man. only did a test today and found out I'm an ENFP. Did it 2 sites to make sure. So far seems to describe me completely.
I'm an Enfp and i just door slammed people from my life. Sometimes people don't feel or doesnt really care about my sensitiveness. i rarely get mad, but when i do people assume im always the bad one. then i'll be the bad one.
And when people know how sensitive you are.. They purposely press your buttons to get a reaction out of you... Sometimes they hurt you intentionally with no-care about it.. Meanwhile we feelers cry into our pillows... Ugly is the worst word to use on someone... and most likely, I dislike how sensitive I am.. Just like you????
Michelle R. exactly!!! that's why right now i choose to avoid getting close to people . because we ENFP got tendencies of being taken for granted. people like us only in happy times.
I do this. But try to not allow others' treatments of me to change my personality like making me care less. I love that I'm a caring person and like that, hate when I feel like I don't care
Jhudah it’s very similar for INFPs too totally feel you
Oh God saaameeee how to stop this tho im clueless 〒_〒
Lol!!! The being alone thing is so true ugghhh thanks for this video!
you are welcome, friend :)
No. 1 was strange advice for me as I hardly ever leave the house.
Amazing video. Really really resonated with me
Yeah because i think thats it s something which creates some anxiety, i mean finding the right job, identity, the fact that sometimes doubt IS very strong...
I just posted one in response to this. Hopefully it helps. Thanks for the idea.
Just got dumped by the love of my life.. thanks for the tips
I think I'm depressed right now and I don't know myself anymore... I miss my old self
thank you so much. truly. i don't really feel like how i used to be... thanks.
you are most welcome
Oh, thank you So MUCH for this great video, it helps a lot to have advises from someone that understand so well.
And, I would like to add: wow, you look so handsome.
A French Enfp :)
ah ha. my first french compliment. Viva la france.
@@Sweeneytv 😉🙏
This video really helped me! Thanks man ! 🙏
This is so perfect!
I think a healthy lifestyle for us is to find that balance of extravert vs introvert. Alone time is important. I think out loud... in a way I keep my own company. Sounds a bit psycho.. but we’re doing just fine. Lol
Thank you for this video it served a good purpose
BE THE ONE WHO IS POSITIVE
"...Not everyone should be happy." - You, the first Sadistic ENFP
Top video ❤ just now to try work on these things!
Thank you so much!!
(From ENFP)
Hi Austin,
Just thought I would share this link that I came across a few months ago, I was bopping up and down to one of them today in fact...thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2014/12/15-songs-that-capture-the-spirit-of-being-an-enfp/
More importantly, I LOVE your videos! Thanks so much for sharing. I hope more are in the pipeline :)
thank you i needed this right now.
Actually, people ARE test subjects... -INTJ 🙃
As ENFP I'm experienced depression and anxiety but most of the time I'm trigger with anxiety to start doing something even
though people describe me as cool, extrovert, friendly and heartless person.
Thank you for the video! I have a few thoughts and a question on this for my fellow ENFPs. As an ENFP I totally know this feeling of being too vulnerable for the moods or words of other people, especially my friends. Same time I really struggle with dealing with some problems that I have in my life right now.. I feel like I need a lot of reassurance of my friends. And it makes me sad, when friends don't seem to understand some things or don't act sensitive about some stuff. Then I feel lonely.. I think I need the feeling of being understood. I'm wondering if this is also an ENFP thing or more related to my own personal issues like deep rooted insecurity? How can I be more independent of the thoughts/moods of friends - and where is the line for insensitive behaviour? I find myself often disappointed/hurt by people which makes me withdraw and depressed.
I know exactly what you mean. I moved out of state 2 years ago to start a new life, which is working out and it turns out its the family and friends I I left behind who don't / didn't seem to get me. This might be an ENFP need as opposed to specifically yourself. Actually hearing the word "don't" or "you shouldn't feel that way". I started coming back with "too late I already Felt it". People sometimes 😕 . I don't know if we can be more independant of thoughts/moods of friends. If I met you I would probably like you ✌ Hope this helps
but I'm fine by myself. maybe too much, I barely see or talk to ppl these last months, but I kinda enjoy that? bc I have time to work on my projects, designs...
Hey Gustavo. I am by no means saying that you can't be by yourself. Or that you should not be. It can be a trigger for depression if you deprive yourself of social contact for too long of a time, no matter the personality type. But you seem to be working on things that you enjoy, like you said such a projects. Which is totally fine and good. I know I prefer to work on certain things by myself especially if I get super motivated. So you could just be in a period where socializing is now less of a priority.
I've done very well as a loner, working on projects, etc. when I am _NOT_ feeling depressed, anxious, angry, etc. These were a times when I was motivated, secure, self confident, and keeping busy chasing my goals. So it's really no surprise that I felt great. After ending a relationship or losing a loved one when I'm prone to negative thoughts? Exactly the opposite.
I was an ENFJ for years. Maybe I still am one.
Thank you. ❤
Thank you so much for this
You are very welcome :)
This made me really happy
It was very helpful
Thank you
Thank you so much Capt. America
This is good advice for INFPs too!
I never heard about enfp. 4 years ago I became a hermit. I know my value but noone except my kids deserve my love. I venture out sometimes but I don't stay out