I lost my son 2 months ago today. He was born January12, 2024 and went to be with his creator January 14, 2024. I grew up in church also, my grandparents were on staff there and my home life wasn’t great and church was the better option. When my son was handed to me after they tried to get him to come back to me, all I could do was cry out to God. Why? Why my son? Why my family? Why me? Why did this happened? Why didn’t you preform a miracle on Sawyer? So. Many. Questions. And all I received was peace. Sawyer, was knitted and created in my womb, because God wanted him to be. He was never, mine. My children are His, I am His. It’s my job to steward my children and teach them who God is and who God says they are! God did not take my son, or yours. We live in a fallen world where horrible things, happen. It’s the response to the things that happen, is where our faith is tested. If you believe in God, then you also have to believe Satan is real. His only goal is to steal, kill, and destroy. I don’t think satan killed them either, but is he killing your marriage? Is he stealing your joy? Is he making your mind darker and darker? He is the king of deception and lies and he wants you and your marriage and your family to crumble. Jesus died on the cross and when he did that, every single sin, for every single person, were and are completely forgiven. Jesus took our punishment for our sin, so we never have to. God did not kill your baby. He mourns with you, He weeps with you, He wants to provide comfort and peace. Even as Jesus was hanging on through cross he cried out to God asking why he had forsaken him. The loss of a child is.. truly the worst pain I will ever experience. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to hold my son again, see him again, kiss him again - the good news is, is I will. One day, when my time on earth is over, I will run through the gates of heaven and pick up my sweet boy again and I can’t wait. I know God is real. I know He is for me. I know in whatever circumstances I face, He is my comfort and my peace and my redeemer. God loves you more than you can even imagine. I picture our boys playing together while they wait for us to come get them, and until we do, I will keep praising and worshiping and loving the Lord with all my heart and mind and soul. This is faith. Even when you don’t know, and are angry and sad, you still believe God is for you and loves you. I will be praying so hard for you and I am sending so much love 🤍
Leann and I am literally in tears reading your message. My heart goes out to you and I am praying so hard for you and with you. Your drive and your faith is extremely inspiring and I am so thankful that you found my video. I know without a doubt our boys are playing together in heaven and I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. You’re absolutely right about everything and how our children we raise here are God’s children. We are here to teach our babies about God. I hope you are doing the best you can. I’m here for you and please reach out if you need anything🤍
14 January 2005 was the day my son went back to heaven. Believe me, our sons are always watching us from above and we get stronger each day because of them 🩷
I kost my son on 6-13-22 in a car accident. I can totally relate to what you are saying. Especially the part about just waiting to die. Sounds so morbid but for us mothers we cant help but think about it because thats when we will finally be reunited. I know my other son needs me though so i feel like i have one foot in heaven and one on earth
God bless you!! Your story really touched me. I recently came across your channel and wow. I am 16, I have no idea what it's like to loose a child and I couldn't even imagine. But I do know that in the videos you have made throughout your journey, the presence of God has been so tangible. I know that God has held your family as well as yourself through these difficult times, and that He has felt the pain along side you and your family. Nothing escapes Jesus! Even though it's humanly impossible to grasp the idea of God's plans being good in the middle of so much pain, I know He will never allow pain without purpose and a tribulation without a testimony. There is a greater good in the midst of this grief. Praying for you and your family and sending lots of love. ❤🙏
I'm praying for you right now 🤍! You are absolutely not alone and you are not being judged by anyone who actually matters. You absolutely got this! I'm absolutely so proud of how far you've come. God is with you!
Your feelings are so so valid. You lost your beautiful baby boy, even though he’s in the most beautiful place ever known. It’s still so hard to be without him, I will pray for your continued healing. Thank you for being so vulnerable. More people need to hear these words because child loss is so real, you’re helping others through these tough moments. One day you will be reunited with your baby boy again, and you will never be without one another again. ❤❤
Thanks for sharing. It brings me back to 20 years ago when my baby was received by God in Arizona. We took videos of his last moments but never dare to look at them but your sharing is as real as it gets. We will never get a perfect answer because we are not perfect. I feel God leaving me many times but God is patient and genuinely waiting for me always. My boy’s death anniversary is also my last daughter’s birthday. God bless your heart and believe it that our every single teardrop is saved and kept by God.
The Lord loves you, even through your distance from him. He is patient, merciful and gracious to us. He watched his son be killed on the cross for us, he knows your grief. I wish more people understood that he wants a relationship with us and even when you’re living all willy nilly, he’s waiting for you to come back to him. He definitely didn’t receive Carson to punish you but he absolutely wanted it to bring you to him. I don’t know why the video about losing him was recommended to me but I felt I had to comment on this video because I’m your sister in Christ. The enemy came to steal, kill and destroy….God wants us to find peace so we don’t open an avenue for the enemy to use our struggles against us and separate us from the one who truly loves us. Praying for you and yours tonight. Keep your eyes on Jesus and you’ll be with Carson before you know it.
Absolutely love your honesty through your videos. Very raw. I know you are helping other mother's to not feel so alone, to feel 'normal' through their grief. You are absolutely amazing, and I know God has wonderful plans for your future 🌈🌈🌈🙏🙏🙏
I don't know if you've ever heard this, but God gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors... He literally will not give you more than you can handle, we just don't know what we can handle, he does. That IS scripture! I have been witness to God doing this in my life so many times with battles I would swear I could never go through or even get through before the tragedy even happened. But God allowed that "storm" for HIS reasons and told me if I would just let him hold my hand through it that I will come out stronger. Keep your faith in GOD strong and you WILL be with God and your son again one day. I do pray that this helps you even just for a day to get through to the next... ❤ †
"The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Psalms 34:17-18 NLT Your story is so heartbreaking, but God is always with you. Sometimes there are no answers to the difficult questions and all we can rely on is the truth that God is with us and he cares about us. It is hard to understand why things happen the way they do sometimes, but that's when we just need to trust in who God is and who the Bible says he is, and when you seek him you feel his comforting presence. Praying for you during this extremely difficult season 🙏🤍
Wow! I highly recommend the book "Like a River" by Granger Smith. He's a country music star that lost his son due to drowning in family pool and it talks about his journey with God through it all. I love hearing you talk about this, the nuance of living in a broken and fallen world with illness, sickness and death. That is not of God but of the world, the enemy who wants to kill, steal and destroy. God has the abilty to heal but EVEN WHEN HE DOSEN'T everything turns out for good, not what we may think is good with our little futile minds with our little lives that are just mists, but eternal greater good that we may not understand just yet on this side of heaven.EVERYTHING that the enemy intended for evil, God uses for good.
I enjoyed that tell her to send her address ill send it to her.he also has said he believes River was meant to live 3 yrs so many month so many weeks an so many days i forget that they are not going to be " oh River would be playing football now" people
First let me say that I am so very sorry for what you have been through. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby boy. I have suffered the loss of multiple babies but it can’t compare to your pain. My grandmother lost her youngest son and she use to describe it to me as the worst pain you can ever imagine. And I had so many people tell me that she was never the same again. That she was a different person after his passing. That actually her and my grandfather were. But I can relate to where it comes to religion. I was brought up in the church. There every Sunday and Wednesday. When I became an adult and got married and had four children we were there sometimes and for special occasions. Fast forward I get a divorce and get remarried to what I thought was my soul mate. Someone that I had been friends with since my youngest child was two years old. He talked me into getting my tubes untied. We had two miscarriages and then we had our beautiful baby girl after seeing a specialist and discovering that I had a hormone deficiency and just had to be on a medication to be able to stay pregnant. I thought my life was perfect. I like you prayed when I needed something or would just thank God when something great happened in my life. Then a series of traumatic events happened. Too much to even explain. My life wasn’t what I believed it was and when I found out I also found out that I was 11 weeks pregnant. But because it wasn’t planned I wasn’t on the medication. So two days before Christmas I was having a DNC while my husband was in the recovery room texting his mistress who was also pregnant. I thought God hated me. I had went through so much to have this beautiful baby who was only 11 months old and what had I brought her into. But it got worse. This man wasn’t my soulmate he was the devil. He was doing everything he could to destroy me and take me away from my child. I ran to God. It was like this church was calling my name. It wasn’t the faith that I was brought up in but something about it kept calling to me. So I went with me and my baby. And I have never cried so hard in my life. It felt like Jesus was holding me in his arms. My story isn’t over but so far I’m still here. I’ve survived a lot. Some thankfully my daughter is starting to forget, because it literally felt like hell on earth. But each day is better. The storm isn’t over, but he can no longer physically get to us anymore. So I understand questioning God and thinking you had done something to deserve it. Because I definitely thought I had done something wrong and that’s why my daughter had to go through some of the traumatic things that she did. God has a way of bringing his children back to where we need to be. I will keep praying for you but please keep going to church and stay close to God.
Omg i can relate so much with you in the fact that we were raised to be a certain religion . And just like you i got to the point were i looked for my own beliefs so i hope you feel confort to know their is alot of us raised that way but we can make changes and it is our right to follow our hearts and beliefs 🩷😇
You are an amazing mom. You prayed for your baby. You did the best thing you could do. I know you will raise your baby in heaven some day. I know that God does not take life away to punish us. He loves us. It is the biggest test to still trust in God after losing a child. We have to be strong for our family that is still on earth. We need each other in this life. He didn't promise it would be easy. But He did give us eternal life. This life is hard we were not meant to be apart. It's aBroken world. God sees our tears. One day there will be no more deaths. His plan is not to harm you but to give you hope, and a future.🙏❣️
My baby is turning 1 Abril 12, i will be praying for you on the 13 because I can’t even imagine how you felt that day the same day I was getting to know my baby ❤
God is in your Story. (God is in this story- song by Katy Nichol) your story shows God at work. We don’t get answers but we get peace. Gods peace. He’s with you. You are truly strong wonderful person. Your story is strengthened by Carson and Jesus. 1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. (Psalms 46:1 NIV)
We live in a fallen world and life is such a fragile thing. We will all go through hardships in this life. It's up to us to turn to Christ to cay us through those hard things that He can use our story for greater good. I only really know one thing and the is God is good and he is the greatest comforter.
I've actually thought about this for a long time, why does God allow bad things to happen? I've come to the conclusion that God isn't allowing BAD things to happen, he's allowing ALL things to happen and along with the good things there are bad things as well. Imagine as a parent you're watching your child's first sports game, they've really been practicing hard and they get up there and they miss the shot and lose the game, you're obviously heartbroken as a parent but you can't run down and demand they change the rules to allow your child to win, it would create chaos. You're completely heartbroken that your child is suffering but all you can do is comfort them, be there with them and help them move forward and be happy for them for future wins. In the scheme of things I feel like God is watching us all play this game called life and as heartbroken as he is for us when it doesn't turn out the way we want he can't change the rules to fix it, there's order in the universe and that would cause chaos, he's there to pick us up when we fall and lift us up in celebration during our wins.
I am so thankful for your message. I didn't quite think of it in your perspective and I am glad you shared that with me. He most definitely does allow ALL things to happen. And it is truly by the grace of God that I am still here able to care for my family and be able to share Carson's story. I get a lot of rude comments on here (more than people would expect) and whether people are disgusted with me sharing his story or not, this is my testimony. Carson's birth and death have completely changed my life and I believe in God's plans whether I also like it or not. Thank you again for a different and very valid perspective.
You are a lot stronger than you think. God knew before Carson was ever born that his time on earth was going to be short. God knows when its "all" our times to go. God does not punish us, he is patient with us waiting for us to turn to him. He is not in the punishing business. He is Love and Kindness and Peace. God knows the plans he has for all of us Read Jeremiah 29:11 God trusted you to parent an "angel baby" literally. He knew more than you that you would be strong enough. You are in the right place..God and Church to bring you back to Peace, Joy and maybe ...out of this tragedy he wants to use you help other Mother's who lost their children to turn to him and learn that God is the only true peace love and happiness there is through a terrible tragedy. My Prayers are for you and your family. God Bless you sweet lady.
I feel it’s possible that God and the sacred texts of the world are social construct adapted by each culture as a way of coping with suffering and uncertainty. I don’t really know. I find greater comfort in mindfulness, being really present with my family rather than trying to figure out things I can’t possibly fully understand- religion, politics, humanity, etc.
Thank you Jesus for the way you are moving upon Nahyun's heart! You are on the right track sister. The LORD loves you so much! He has beautiful plans for you. Trust and rest in Him! I had a radical encounter with Jesus 15 years ago! He turned my world upside down....but all for His glory! Please reach out to me if you ever want to chat more. I would love to share my testimony with you! ❤
My encouragement to you would be continue to be faithful with what He has given you and He will give you more! Ask for the baptism of the Holy Spirit and let his love pour out over you. The healing balm of Jesus Christ is all you need! Much love Nahyun! ❤️
I am so sorry for loss mama I have never Lost a child and I hope I ever have to go through this 💔 and I hate you have to experience this painful experience it's really hard to move on and it hurts to say I am moving on and I know what you mean when your trying to survive each day and try to do everything thing we need to do because we have other children that needs us and people around that loves us I lost me best friend from childhood 11 years ago mama he was shot and killed in front of me and when he passed away losing him change me emotionally and mentally I have never been the same person I feel like apart of me went with him and for 5 years I suffered PTSD and depression with severe anxiety I take medicine every single day and I no what you mean when you say when the relationship has changed with God because i was angry with god so long but i had to learn to forgive dont ever think god hates you becuase he dose not mama no parent should have to buried our children have you try couseling that will help you alot
God loves us so much that h will do anything to get us back. First thing God will do when you get to heaven is put your baby in your arms ❤ the Bible says that he collects all of are tears , he will not forget how much we suffer in earth , I lost my baby 2 years ago and there’s not one day I don’t think of him with ache in my heart, we have a hope that we will be together again for eternity,.
God bless you girly. First, I’m so sorry for you loss. From experience it never ever gets easy. God loves you so much. Here’s why…. We all die because of sin but through His son, we have eternal life. What happened, He didn’t do to punish you. He used your son to SAVE you. Your son is in heaven. Guaranteed. But the path you were on He needed to save you because you were getting farther away from Him. When God breaks us, he doesn’t do it to destroy us. He does it with grace. Jesus is our Shepard, he will leave the heard to get the lost sheep. Wolves watch the lost sheep, seeking and waiting to devour. A Shepard grabs the lost sheep saving it from the wolf and breaks its leg and nurture it back to health. The Shepard does this so every time the sheep is distracted and tries to stray, it’s reminded by its legs what happens when it leaves. It may wonder a little but it will never stray again. That’s how salvation is, No matter what season you are in your life, YOU ARE CHOSEN. He will get your attention because He refuses for His daughter to be the devils. Right now you are broken but he is nurturing you as you learn about him, as you learn how to put him 1st in your life, as you and your family get closer to him. You have to rely on His strength, not your own. With Him, ALL things are possible. While that is happening, He gives you peace. His love is the only love you need. As long as you keep your eyes on Him, he will make all your paths straight. He said in his Word that “obedience is better than sacrifice” In time, you may not ever have Carson back but He will bless you bigger than you ever imagine. Joy comes from Him and in Him you will have your joy back. How beautiful is it, that you experienced His pain loosing a son but the joy and peace comes knowing it was all necessary for you to be with Him AND your son. He will never put you through anything that you can’t handle. ❤
Death is the ultimate payment for sin. We chose this. God created eternal beings to spend eternity with us, to commune with his creation in a mutually loving for for all of time. We, humans, chose sin. We wanted to know what we were missing out on, we wanted to know the wages of sin, the answer is death. This time we have on earth, this finite mortal in the spectrum of eternity is merely out starting off point. We humans need to be broken in order to understand God’s plan of creation, eternity, heaven & hell, all of it makes sense through the lens of God, sending His one and only Son, Jesus Christ to pay the true wages of sin. Because He lives, we are promised an eternity with those we love and those who choose Him in return. He wants you to chose Him. God cares about your soul more than we cares about your happiness for a portion of time on earth. Just like parents, He knows best how to love us. How to give us just what we need at the exact moment we need it. God bless you in your broken path to the arms of our Savior. He loves you, He is there for you, He wants what is best for you.
May God continue to strengthen you and your family. Your videos has really touched me. The enemy works hard to destroy families. Read John 10 in the Bible. God works harder to restore them. I pray that God will strengthen you and that through your testimony, and through your growth in God that you will be able to one day reach other mothers, who had lost their children and encourage them in the ways of God. To lift them up and help them. God has a plan for your life. As you dive deeper into his word you will see it too. God bless you. Read the book of John when you have a chance. ❤ the amplified version is a great study bible.
You asked a few questions. Below are my responses: Jesus was the perfect sacrifice for our sins. So in Him we have forgiveness & righteousness. There is no need for God to punish us for our sins when He sacrificially provided His Son for the forgiveness of our sins. Please read 2 Corinthians 5 specifically v21. Also, 1 John 1:9 & Ephesians 2. So no precious one, God did NOT take your precious son to punish you for your sins. That is 100% a lie from satan...& if any person tells you that, they are absolutely not walking in the truth & love of the Holy Spirit. Until Jesus comes back, every death, especially out of order deaths, is because of the evil that exists in our world. God never intended for any of us to die. We had enteral life before Adam & Eve sinned against God. So death was never part of His plan. God doesn't allow things into our lives because He believes or expects us to endure them. Sadly, (it can be incredibly difficult to understand) because of the fallen state we live in since Jesus has not returned, tragic & heartbreaking circumstances happen. It is in our relationship & intimacy with GOD that we can endure. It is only through His divine & supernatural Presence that we can endure. Through His written Word & belonging to a Bible believing & Holy Spirit filled church that we can endure. ❤❤❤❤
I lost my son 2 months ago today. He was born January12, 2024 and went to be with his creator January 14, 2024. I grew up in church also, my grandparents were on staff there and my home life wasn’t great and church was the better option. When my son was handed to me after they tried to get him to come back to me, all I could do was cry out to God. Why? Why my son? Why my family? Why me? Why did this happened? Why didn’t you preform a miracle on Sawyer? So. Many. Questions. And all I received was peace. Sawyer, was knitted and created in my womb, because God wanted him to be. He was never, mine. My children are His, I am His. It’s my job to steward my children and teach them who God is and who God says they are! God did not take my son, or yours. We live in a fallen world where horrible things, happen. It’s the response to the things that happen, is where our faith is tested. If you believe in God, then you also have to believe Satan is real. His only goal is to steal, kill, and destroy. I don’t think satan killed them either, but is he killing your marriage? Is he stealing your joy? Is he making your mind darker and darker? He is the king of deception and lies and he wants you and your marriage and your family to crumble. Jesus died on the cross and when he did that, every single sin, for every single person, were and are completely forgiven. Jesus took our punishment for our sin, so we never have to. God did not kill your baby. He mourns with you, He weeps with you, He wants to provide comfort and peace. Even as Jesus was hanging on through cross he cried out to God asking why he had forsaken him. The loss of a child is.. truly the worst pain I will ever experience. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to hold my son again, see him again, kiss him again - the good news is, is I will. One day, when my time on earth is over, I will run through the gates of heaven and pick up my sweet boy again and I can’t wait. I know God is real. I know He is for me. I know in whatever circumstances I face, He is my comfort and my peace and my redeemer. God loves you more than you can even imagine. I picture our boys playing together while they wait for us to come get them, and until we do, I will keep praising and worshiping and loving the Lord with all my heart and mind and soul. This is faith. Even when you don’t know, and are angry and sad, you still believe God is for you and loves you. I will be praying so hard for you and I am sending so much love 🤍
Leann and I am literally in tears reading your message. My heart goes out to you and I am praying so hard for you and with you. Your drive and your faith is extremely inspiring and I am so thankful that you found my video. I know without a doubt our boys are playing together in heaven and I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. You’re absolutely right about everything and how our children we raise here are God’s children. We are here to teach our babies about God. I hope you are doing the best you can. I’m here for you and please reach out if you need anything🤍
14 January 2005 was the day my son went back to heaven. Believe me, our sons are always watching us from above and we get stronger each day because of them 🩷
I kost my son on 6-13-22 in a car accident. I can totally relate to what you are saying. Especially the part about just waiting to die. Sounds so morbid but for us mothers we cant help but think about it because thats when we will finally be reunited. I know my other son needs me though so i feel like i have one foot in heaven and one on earth
God bless you!! Your story really touched me. I recently came across your channel and wow. I am 16, I have no idea what it's like to loose a child and I couldn't even imagine. But I do know that in the videos you have made throughout your journey, the presence of God has been so tangible. I know that God has held your family as well as yourself through these difficult times, and that He has felt the pain along side you and your family. Nothing escapes Jesus! Even though it's humanly impossible to grasp the idea of God's plans being good in the middle of so much pain, I know He will never allow pain without purpose and a tribulation without a testimony. There is a greater good in the midst of this grief. Praying for you and your family and sending lots of love.
❤🙏
I'm praying for you right now 🤍! You are absolutely not alone and you are not being judged by anyone who actually matters. You absolutely got this! I'm absolutely so proud of how far you've come. God is with you!
That means sooo much!! Thank you🥹
Your feelings are so so valid. You lost your beautiful baby boy, even though he’s in the most beautiful place ever known. It’s still so hard to be without him, I will pray for your continued healing. Thank you for being so vulnerable. More people need to hear these words because child loss is so real, you’re helping others through these tough moments. One day you will be reunited with your baby boy again, and you will never be without one another again. ❤❤
Thanks for sharing. It brings me back to 20 years ago when my baby was received by God in Arizona. We took videos of his last moments but never dare to look at them but your sharing is as real as it gets. We will never get a perfect answer because we are not perfect. I feel God leaving me many times but God is patient and genuinely waiting for me always. My boy’s death anniversary is also my last daughter’s birthday. God bless your heart and believe it that our every single teardrop is saved and kept by God.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are such a strong mama!
The Lord gives, he takes, blessed be the Lord ❤️🩹
Thank you sooo much🤍
The Lord loves you, even through your distance from him. He is patient, merciful and gracious to us. He watched his son be killed on the cross for us, he knows your grief. I wish more people understood that he wants a relationship with us and even when you’re living all willy nilly, he’s waiting for you to come back to him. He definitely didn’t receive Carson to punish you but he absolutely wanted it to bring you to him. I don’t know why the video about losing him was recommended to me but I felt I had to comment on this video because I’m your sister in Christ. The enemy came to steal, kill and destroy….God wants us to find peace so we don’t open an avenue for the enemy to use our struggles against us and separate us from the one who truly loves us. Praying for you and yours tonight. Keep your eyes on Jesus and you’ll be with Carson before you know it.
glad to see you doing a bit better.
🤍🤍🤍
Thank you for being so open. Big hugs Momma. I’ve experienced recent tragedy also in similar but different ways.
Thank you for your hugs and thinking of you🤍 I pray you are doing the best you can and overcome all the hardships from your recent tragedy
Absolutely love your honesty through your videos. Very raw. I know you are helping other mother's to not feel so alone, to feel 'normal' through their grief. You are absolutely amazing, and I know God has wonderful plans for your future 🌈🌈🌈🙏🙏🙏
I just got the chills reading your comment, thank you so so much🥹
I don't know if you've ever heard this, but God gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors... He literally will not give you more than you can handle, we just don't know what we can handle, he does. That IS scripture! I have been witness to God doing this in my life so many times with battles I would swear I could never go through or even get through before the tragedy even happened. But God allowed that "storm" for HIS reasons and told me if I would just let him hold my hand through it that I will come out stronger. Keep your faith in GOD strong and you WILL be with God and your son again one day. I do pray that this helps you even just for a day to get through to the next... ❤ †
"The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
Psalms 34:17-18 NLT
Your story is so heartbreaking, but God is always with you. Sometimes there are no answers to the difficult questions and all we can rely on is the truth that God is with us and he cares about us. It is hard to understand why things happen the way they do sometimes, but that's when we just need to trust in who God is and who the Bible says he is, and when you seek him you feel his comforting presence. Praying for you during this extremely difficult season 🙏🤍
Wow! I highly recommend the book "Like a River" by Granger Smith. He's a country music star that lost his son due to drowning in family pool and it talks about his journey with God through it all.
I love hearing you talk about this, the nuance of living in a broken and fallen world with illness, sickness and death. That is not of God but of the world, the enemy who wants to kill, steal and destroy. God has the abilty to heal but EVEN WHEN HE DOSEN'T everything turns out for good, not what we may think is good with our little futile minds with our little lives that are just mists, but eternal greater good that we may not understand just yet on this side of heaven.EVERYTHING that the enemy intended for evil, God uses for good.
I enjoyed that tell her to send her address ill send it to her.he also has said he believes River was meant to live 3 yrs so many month so many weeks an so many days i forget that they are not going to be " oh River would be playing football now" people
First let me say that I am so very sorry for what you have been through. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby boy. I have suffered the loss of multiple babies but it can’t compare to your pain. My grandmother lost her youngest son and she use to describe it to me as the worst pain you can ever imagine. And I had so many people tell me that she was never the same again. That she was a different person after his passing. That actually her and my grandfather were. But I can relate to where it comes to religion. I was brought up in the church. There every Sunday and Wednesday. When I became an adult and got married and had four children we were there sometimes and for special occasions. Fast forward I get a divorce and get remarried to what I thought was my soul mate. Someone that I had been friends with since my youngest child was two years old. He talked me into getting my tubes untied. We had two miscarriages and then we had our beautiful baby girl after seeing a specialist and discovering that I had a hormone deficiency and just had to be on a medication to be able to stay pregnant. I thought my life was perfect. I like you prayed when I needed something or would just thank God when something great happened in my life. Then a series of traumatic events happened. Too much to even explain. My life wasn’t what I believed it was and when I found out I also found out that I was 11 weeks pregnant. But because it wasn’t planned I wasn’t on the medication. So two days before Christmas I was having a DNC while my husband was in the recovery room texting his mistress who was also pregnant. I thought God hated me. I had went through so much to have this beautiful baby who was only 11 months old and what had I brought her into. But it got worse. This man wasn’t my soulmate he was the devil. He was doing everything he could to destroy me and take me away from my child. I ran to God. It was like this church was calling my name. It wasn’t the faith that I was brought up in but something about it kept calling to me. So I went with me and my baby. And I have never cried so hard in my life. It felt like Jesus was holding me in his arms. My story isn’t over but so far I’m still here. I’ve survived a lot. Some thankfully my daughter is starting to forget, because it literally felt like hell on earth. But each day is better. The storm isn’t over, but he can no longer physically get to us anymore. So I understand questioning God and thinking you had done something to deserve it. Because I definitely thought I had done something wrong and that’s why my daughter had to go through some of the traumatic things that she did. God has a way of bringing his children back to where we need to be. I will keep praying for you but please keep going to church and stay close to God.
Omg i can relate so much with you in the fact that we were raised to be a certain religion . And just like you i got to the point were i looked for my own beliefs so i hope you feel confort to know their is alot of us raised that way but we can make changes and it is our right to follow our hearts and beliefs 🩷😇
Yesss absolutely!! I’m so glad you have looked for your own beliefs and found your own voice!! Thank you for sharing that🥹🤍
the tattoo commemoration on your arm is so beautiful and sweet...sending you love ❤️
Thank you so much!! My favorite tattoo ever🤍
You are an amazing mom. You prayed for your baby. You did the best thing you could do. I know you will raise your baby in heaven some day. I know that God does not take life away to punish us. He loves us. It is the biggest test to still trust in God after losing a child. We have to be strong for our family that is still on earth. We need each other in this life. He didn't promise it would be easy. But He did give us eternal life. This life is hard we were not meant to be apart. It's aBroken world. God sees our tears. One day there will be no more deaths. His plan is not to harm you but to give you hope, and a future.🙏❣️
Oh how the tables have turned..god has many planed for you 🎉
My baby is turning 1 Abril 12, i will be praying for you on the 13 because I can’t even imagine how you felt that day the same day I was getting to know my baby ❤
God is in your Story. (God is in this story- song by Katy Nichol) your story shows God at work. We don’t get answers but we get peace. Gods peace. He’s with you. You are truly strong wonderful person. Your story is strengthened by Carson and Jesus.
1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. (Psalms 46:1 NIV)
We live in a fallen world and life is such a fragile thing. We will all go through hardships in this life. It's up to us to turn to Christ to cay us through those hard things that He can use our story for greater good. I only really know one thing and the is God is good and he is the greatest comforter.
I've actually thought about this for a long time, why does God allow bad things to happen? I've come to the conclusion that God isn't allowing BAD things to happen, he's allowing ALL things to happen and along with the good things there are bad things as well.
Imagine as a parent you're watching your child's first sports game, they've really been practicing hard and they get up there and they miss the shot and lose the game, you're obviously heartbroken as a parent but you can't run down and demand they change the rules to allow your child to win, it would create chaos. You're completely heartbroken that your child is suffering but all you can do is comfort them, be there with them and help them move forward and be happy for them for future wins. In the scheme of things I feel like God is watching us all play this game called life and as heartbroken as he is for us when it doesn't turn out the way we want he can't change the rules to fix it, there's order in the universe and that would cause chaos, he's there to pick us up when we fall and lift us up in celebration during our wins.
I am so thankful for your message. I didn't quite think of it in your perspective and I am glad you shared that with me. He most definitely does allow ALL things to happen. And it is truly by the grace of God that I am still here able to care for my family and be able to share Carson's story. I get a lot of rude comments on here (more than people would expect) and whether people are disgusted with me sharing his story or not, this is my testimony. Carson's birth and death have completely changed my life and I believe in God's plans whether I also like it or not. Thank you again for a different and very valid perspective.
God loves you
With time in life we know why things happen the way they do. It was not a punishment
God wants our salvation.
You are a lot stronger than you think. God knew before Carson was ever born that his time on earth was going to be short. God knows when its "all" our times to go. God does not punish us, he is patient with us waiting for us to turn to him. He is not in the punishing business. He is Love and Kindness and Peace. God knows the plans he has for all of us Read Jeremiah 29:11 God trusted you to parent an "angel baby" literally. He knew more than you that you would be strong enough. You are in the right place..God and Church to bring you back to Peace, Joy and maybe ...out of this tragedy he wants to use you help other Mother's who lost their children to turn to him and learn that God is the only true peace love and happiness there is through a terrible tragedy. My Prayers are for you and your family. God Bless you sweet lady.
My dads bday is 3/16. He will be gone almost 3 years. I love little signs like that ❤❤
I feel it’s possible that God and the sacred texts of the world are social construct adapted by each culture as a way of coping with suffering and uncertainty. I don’t really know. I find greater comfort in mindfulness, being really present with my family rather than trying to figure out things I can’t possibly fully understand- religion, politics, humanity, etc.
Thank you for sharing your testimony, my sincere condolences, you are a r
I lost my son a year ago today. Just holding onto Hope today
My heart breaks for you, I am so sorry for your loss. Sometimes just holding onto hope is all we need to get through the days. Thinking of you
enjoyed listening to your story thank you for shareing
Thank you so much for watching🤍
Thank you for watching🤍🤍🤍🤍
Thank you Jesus for the way you are moving upon Nahyun's heart! You are on the right track sister. The LORD loves you so much! He has beautiful plans for you. Trust and rest in Him! I had a radical encounter with Jesus 15 years ago! He turned my world upside down....but all for His glory! Please reach out to me if you ever want to chat more. I would love to share my testimony with you! ❤
My encouragement to you would be continue to be faithful with what He has given you and He will give you more! Ask for the baptism of the Holy Spirit and let his love pour out over you. The healing balm of Jesus Christ is all you need! Much love Nahyun! ❤️
I am so sorry for loss mama I have never Lost a child and I hope I ever have to go through this 💔 and I hate you have to experience this painful experience it's really hard to move on and it hurts to say I am moving on and I know what you mean when your trying to survive each day and try to do everything thing we need to do because we have other children that needs us and people around that loves us I lost me best friend from childhood 11 years ago mama he was shot and killed in front of me and when he passed away losing him change me emotionally and mentally I have never been the same person I feel like apart of me went with him and for 5 years I suffered PTSD and depression with severe anxiety I take medicine every single day and I no what you mean when you say when the relationship has changed with God because i was angry with god so long but i had to learn to forgive dont ever think god hates you becuase he dose not mama no parent should have to buried our children have you try couseling that will help you alot
god bless you ❤
Thank you soooo much!!
God loves us so much that h will do anything to get us back. First thing God will do when you get to heaven is put your baby in your arms ❤ the Bible says that he collects all of are tears , he will not forget how much we suffer in earth , I lost my baby 2 years ago and there’s not one day I don’t think of him with ache in my heart, we have a hope that we will be together again for eternity,.
God bless you girly. First, I’m so sorry for you loss. From experience it never ever gets easy. God loves you so much. Here’s why…. We all die because of sin but through His son, we have eternal life. What happened, He didn’t do to punish you. He used your son to SAVE you. Your son is in heaven. Guaranteed. But the path you were on He needed to save you because you were getting farther away from Him. When God breaks us, he doesn’t do it to destroy us. He does it with grace. Jesus is our Shepard, he will leave the heard to get the lost sheep. Wolves watch the lost sheep, seeking and waiting to devour. A Shepard grabs the lost sheep saving it from the wolf and breaks its leg and nurture it back to health. The Shepard does this so every time the sheep is distracted and tries to stray, it’s reminded by its legs what happens when it leaves. It may wonder a little but it will never stray again. That’s how salvation is, No matter what season you are in your life, YOU ARE CHOSEN. He will get your attention because He refuses for His daughter to be the devils. Right now you are broken but he is nurturing you as you learn about him, as you learn how to put him 1st in your life, as you and your family get closer to him. You have to rely on His strength, not your own. With Him, ALL things are possible. While that is happening, He gives you peace. His love is the only love you need. As long as you keep your eyes on Him, he will make all your paths straight. He said in his Word that “obedience is better than sacrifice” In time, you may not ever have Carson back but He will bless you bigger than you ever imagine. Joy comes from Him and in Him you will have your joy back. How beautiful is it, that you experienced His pain loosing a son but the joy and peace comes knowing it was all necessary for you to be with Him AND your son. He will never put you through anything that you can’t handle. ❤
Death is the ultimate payment for sin. We chose this. God created eternal beings to spend eternity with us, to commune with his creation in a mutually loving for for all of time. We, humans, chose sin. We wanted to know what we were missing out on, we wanted to know the wages of sin, the answer is death. This time we have on earth, this finite mortal in the spectrum of eternity is merely out starting off point. We humans need to be broken in order to understand God’s plan of creation, eternity, heaven & hell, all of it makes sense through the lens of God, sending His one and only Son, Jesus Christ to pay the true wages of sin. Because He lives, we are promised an eternity with those we love and those who choose Him in return. He wants you to chose Him.
God cares about your soul more than we cares about your happiness for a portion of time on earth. Just like parents, He knows best how to love us. How to give us just what we need at the exact moment we need it.
God bless you in your broken path to the arms of our Savior. He loves you, He is there for you, He wants what is best for you.
Hi friend 🤗💕
Hiiiii🤍
May God continue to strengthen you and your family. Your videos has really touched me. The enemy works hard to destroy families. Read John 10 in the Bible. God works harder to restore them. I pray that God will strengthen you and that through your testimony, and through your growth in God that you will be able to one day reach other mothers, who had lost their children and encourage them in the ways of God. To lift them up and help them. God has a plan for your life. As you dive deeper into his word you will see it too. God bless you. Read the book of John when you have a chance. ❤ the amplified version is a great study bible.
You asked a few questions.
Below are my responses:
Jesus was the perfect sacrifice for our sins.
So in Him we have forgiveness & righteousness. There is no need for God to punish us for our sins when He sacrificially provided His Son for the forgiveness of our sins. Please read 2 Corinthians 5 specifically v21. Also, 1 John 1:9 & Ephesians 2.
So no precious one, God did NOT take your precious son to punish you for your sins.
That is 100% a lie from satan...& if any person tells you that, they are absolutely not walking in the truth & love of the Holy Spirit.
Until Jesus comes back, every death, especially out of order deaths, is because of the evil that exists in our world. God never intended for any of us to die. We had enteral life before Adam & Eve sinned against God. So death was never part of His plan.
God doesn't allow things into our lives because He believes or expects us to endure them. Sadly, (it can be incredibly difficult to understand) because of the fallen state we live in since Jesus has not returned, tragic & heartbreaking circumstances happen.
It is in our relationship & intimacy with GOD that we can endure. It is only through His divine & supernatural Presence that we can endure. Through His written Word & belonging to a Bible believing & Holy Spirit filled church that we can endure.
❤❤❤❤