@@pinkpinkmermayyy i dont think they only think it happens to christians, its just christians who mainly talk about it. i felt isolated scrolling through the comment section so i wanted to create a comment addressing it. from a numbers standpoint, christiany is the biggest religon but others also deserve representation when talking about religious trauma
Please I just had another... conversation? argument? with my homophobic, transphobic, christian, parents and as a nonbinary, panromantic, and still a christian person. It makes it super hard to keep my faith some days. Anyways thanks for this playlist I needed to cry and recover.
1 Corinthians 15:58 So, then brothers and sisters, don't let anyone move you off your foundation of your faith. Always excel in the work that you do for the LORD. You know that the hard work that you do for the LORD is not pointless.
1 Peter 2:9 Ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people that you should show forth the praises of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.
I remember wanting to keep my Christian faith through coming out as nonbinary and pan. It didn’t fix everything for me (no longer Christian), but I felt more joy going to a queer-affirming church instead of my parents’ homophobic church. They made me want to believe. We are ALL worthy of love and community. 💛
Vent: Crying right now because I think I’m lesbian but I’m dating a guy so my family can be proud but shit this hurts. My family is Christian and they always tell me that being gay is a sin and I’ll go to hell if I think a woman is hot... I tried.. I really tried to make myself like guys but I just can’t control myself.. my dad sucks, he’s a terrible father, husband, and overall a terrible person. My sister fell for a guy and he got her pregnant and left. I’m scared of men. I don’t want men to control me or my life! I just want to be free.. I’m starting to think god isn’t real because if he was he’d make me straight like all of his other creation.
@@horseheadsenpai1401 np! I also wrote a whole paragraph thing but it's no longer showing up for me, did you get it? If not I can retype it, it had some info on it
@@horseheadsenpai1401 TH-cam seems to be censoring it due to a word, so here's my third attempt: I'd recommend checking if your school has a gsa and checking that out, as well as talking to anyone in person you can trust 100%, the priority is your safety. The Trevor project also has some great resources and a chat feature! As for Christianity, the bible verses against gay people were mistranslated, and gay animals are a common occurrence, so if there is a God he's cool with the gays. I'm an atheist personally but you can be gay and christian! If you're looking for a beer friendly branch of Christianity Episcopals are good I'm pretty sure! Also feel free to vent to me here, I understand how important being able to talk to someone is.
As a trans guy who is bisexual, this hit too close for me. I’m not out yet and it hurts hearing the harassment about the LGBTQ+ community from students, and even teachers, in school. Catholic school sucks… Well, I hope everyone’s doing okay- now or eventually. Thank you for making this wonderful playlist :)
I seriously hate how exmuslin are treated and how we all are supposed to overlook the shitshow Islam actually is, or else we are "racist". This motherfuckers should be open to criticism as much as chistianism is(despite not being enough). I've been reading many exmuslins histories, and many of them are even harder and gruesome than the ones from exchritians. I sincerely wish I could actually do something to help you all. Gay ex Jehovah Witness from Brazil here.
I recently came out as trans to my parents and they weren't very happy about it. They raised me as a perfect straight little christian girl, and yet I came out as a mentally ill, panromantic, atheist demiboy who can't step into a church without having a panic attack. I LOVE YOUR PLAYLIST THOUGH! IT'S AMAZING KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK
currently hiding in the closet bc im bi and my family are christians. it hurts bc none of my friends understand how in danger i am in if i do let out my feelings to my family. if i do, they wont forgive me and treat me like an outsider. its hard to be alone, seeing all my online friends having supporting parents and family. maybe when i move out that'll be when i tell them. then, they cant do anything to me. guess i just was in the wrong family.
I am also bi (and girlflux) and part of a Christian family. The only thing keeping me going is thinking about moving out one day. Then I will come out when I am self reliant. I hope you can do this too. I’ve never met someone like this before. I wish one day we could meet. The only person I’m out to is my friend who is not a Christian and she’s the only lgbt supporting person in my life, but she’s not good at keeping secrets or being reliable. It feels great to have someone who actually knows me, but at the same time it’s terrifying when she’s around my family because I’m afraid she’ll out me and think it’s not a big deal because it was a mistake or something. I just want to give my advice and say, be careful, and keep dreaming for a brighter future.
I've always loved my religious community. I think they'd love me no matter what, because I was taught that G'd would always love me. Since I outed myself as trans they make me feel guilty and outstanding. I lost my 2nd home, just because of the way I am.
Not gay per se, but I am beginning to question whether I actually believe everything I was told was true, everything instilled in me since birth. The very act of questioning it and doubting it makes me feel immense guilt.
I'm not the typa person to be watching these kinds of videos but I fucking hate the fact my parents force me into being a Christian and how I'm a "child of God" or whatever even though I have my own beliefs and yeah I guess it helped a bit idk
⛪ Spotify: open.spotify.com/playlist/5uV6gFps43pjr0YYjlmjae?si=3ba01bc402f5421f ⛪ ⛪ Timestamps ⛪️ [ jesus, jesus - noah gunderson ] 0:00 [ trees - mccafferty ] 3:36 [ jesus christ 2005 god bless america - the 1975 ] 6:31 [ heaven sent - parker millsap ] 10:50 [ heaven - troye sivan ] 14:39 [ mad at god - sarah saint james ] 18:52 [ vbs - lucy dacus ] 21:44 [ if i believe you - the 1975 ] 25:41 [ mystery of love - sufjan stevens ] 31:56 [ jesus from texas - semler ] 36:01 [ religion - wilder woods ] 39:14 [ saint bernard - lincoln ] 42:38 [ normal - katie pruitt ] 44:23 [ take me to church - hozier ] 49:27 [ daughter of god - phemiec ] 53:26 [ raging on a sunday - bohnes ] 57:36 [ the village - wrabel ] 1:01:07
I'm not sure if this counts as "Religious Trauma" but this happened a few months back while I was in school. One night my friends added me to a group chat on Snapchat at first, I didn't think anything of this. I already talked to these friends on Snapchat so I just thought it would be a fun silly, group chat. However, I could not be wrong, even now I still remember what happened even though I want to forget it. These friends of mine are Muslim and they told me that we could no longer be friends. Why could we not be friends anymore? It was because I was a part of the LGBT community. They recently found out about that so it's not like they were keeping it from me. However, I noticed in the days before they told me it almost seemed like they were avoiding me. And when they told me it just hurt even more and I just couldn't take it anymore. So I began to break down and cry I was just so hurt and upset. It got to the point where I couldn't take being in the same class as them in school so I told a teacher. It was resolved privately and I know my friends didn't have control and their religion is important to them. But they gave an apology to me and I accepted it but I was lying and playing it off. But I just couldn't accept their apology I was just too hurt and to this day still am. Why did it have to happen? I cared for them I loved them as friends and that happened. Am I in the wrong? Are they? Are they at fault for valuing their religion over our friendship? I I just wish none of it happened and we could have stayed friends.
@@TheberryYHonestly after this happened I really was staring to do a lot better and feel good about myself! But then something else happened with them. But now I'm slowly move on from it and will hopefully forget about it soon. So thank you I am doing better now!
@DramatiDaze177Honestly I feel as if that was the case with me not being friends with them in the beginning. I even did so much as get them gifts I did and gave so much to them and barely got anything in return. Thinking back on it just makes me feel so sad and angry. Something happened recently with them honestly I tried not to speak or be around them. But being in the same school and having the same classes made it difficult. I really should have just not talked with them because of what happened with us before. But I feel like I let my kindness take advantage of me somehow as I still talked with them. Such as saying "hello" things such as that but I really shouldn't have done that. I was sitting with them one time and they were talking about religion and teachings for whatever reason. Then they said something a long the lines of "do you believe gay people were created?" I'm guessing they meant it as in something like do they believe homosexuality was created. But either way it just really upset me and I just sat their in silence as they talked about it. Honestly I should have just got up and left and I don't know why I didn't do that. It's been weeks now since it happened and I still can't stop thinking about it. Sorry to go on a rant about this in a reply lmao.
[Vent] I told to my grandfather yesterday that I won't talk to them anymore because they (including most of my father side of the family) trigger my trauma. I told how I almost kms because my aunt told depression is a sin after I had a panic attack at school. I told him that I still feel affected by the memory of coming out as a lesbian and being called stupid by my aunt and uncle. I told him why I left the religion and how my aunts made me feel like I was an abomination. And he told me " Just forget about it."
Well I can tell you one thing. Depression is NOT a sin. It's okay to feel sad, even Jesus wept. I'm sorry that your family isn't showing you the love that Jesus would show you. Jesus still loves you ❤
I know I'm 5 months late but I hope you're both physically and mentally well now ^^ Also, since he told you to "forget about it" you can forget about it! "It" being the people, i.e most of your father's side of the family and people who set off your trauma. Nasty vibes away from you, my friend
Thank you for this. I’m kicked out of home, have been for a while, and places like this help me feel less alone. Playlists like this helped me find myself two years ago and I’m proud to be nonbinary, transmasc, and pansexual. Happy to be KT, they/them. It still hurts to be rejected by my parents when we used to be so close, and I miss believing in god sometimes. My finances are shit, my life feels ruined sometimes, but I have the best girlfriend in the world and I’m learning more than I ever have. I wanna make it through this.
@@Ghosty._._. Thanks so much! I’m proud to say I actually am doing better now. Things aren’t completely settled, but I’ve felt like a typical human being for a while. 😁
i wasn't even raised christian but i was a little girl who needed comfort and tried to turn to god but then ended up scared to go to hell so i followed the religion like a dog who follows is loyal to his abusive owner. i needed a long time to get away from it and deep inside i'm still scared i will go to hell
@@MeowMuch-rm4kk listen i don't mean to offend your religion all i wanted to say is that in first line i practiced the religion in a for me emotional negative and draining way wich obviously is not what christianity is meant for in second line if you find hope and peace in your religion i really don't care i am happy for you that it works out for you it just didn't work out for me plus. i don't belive in heaven or hell i've found my path and my path is being pagan
Then there false he loves you no matter what he just hates sin infact he loves you so much that he sent his only begotten son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life john 3 16
I recognized the Travis Phelps photo right away. Although he bullied Sally, he was still one of my favorite characters. My parents both don’t accept (and are very VERY Christian) and I happen to like girls, so it made me feel like I wasn’t alone. ❤️
Sure, he bullied Sally, but he has as much, or even more trauma than him. Its really hard to hate someone who has such a shitty life. First, I know its not confirmed, but theres evidence supporting that his father is abusive. Hes constantly forced to be perfect, and every adult exepcts him to be like his father. Religous trauma, severe internalized homophobia, and I wouldnt be suprised if Portable Moose (thats the creators company name right?) told us he had suicidal thoughts. Not to mention he's practically forced to become a leader of a cult that is trying to take over God.
This playlist hits. Personally, I'm omnisexual, and I used to be a Christian, but the trouble came when I read 1 Rom 24-28.32 At first, I was a bit sad, but then I understood the real meaning of those words. However, I feel like I'm inferior to other people. This thought comes from these questions:"If there are so many LGBT+ Christians,why I felt bad because of something written in the Bible and while they didn't?" Or other questions. I feel like I am a monster and wrong when I see that so many Christians can live their faith in a completely different way compared to mine. After this, I don't want to be a Christian, but this still sucks, because I wonder " If even the word of God made me feel this way, I' d never be happy whit anyone". Moreover, there are many factors that made me feel this way. Due to "Christian" tiktok and other things I committed autokesionism and thad suicidal thoughts because I felt like I was not enough for certain things and I could do better. I wonder if there are some people that understand me and someone that has a story similar to mine. I really need to talk to someone, since I feel alone because of the book (Bible) in which wasxalways written that God never wanted me to feel like this. Is there anyone like me here?
I'm quite comfortable in my (straight) sexuality, but I've definitely felt the "monster" part that you mentioned. Earlier this year, because of a horrible thing I committed against someone I really loved, I was close to suicide as well. The sinner complex really kicked in; it was as if I was viewing my own life through the eyes of a huge congregation, and all I could hear was that I did not deserve to live, that I was a sinner and always would be, that it would be better/I may be able to atone for my sins if I were to "leave". I'm still trying to crawl out of that hole, but I just wanted to comment as someone who's still dealing with those thoughts that I'm a monster to say that you are *not*. No matter who you are, what you did, you clearly want to be a good person, but the framework our churches have given us tell us that if we don't fit into their mould, if we "sin" even once (or even just by nature of being "human"), we're sinners that don't deserve redemption, or can only be redeemed through god. That's not true. It is BECAUSE you're human, that we are constantly changing and learning, each person multifaceted and different from another, that you deserve the chance to change and be better, whatever that means to you. Loving and expressing your sexual desires with a consenting adult is not "sinful".
Im don't think i have religious trauma bit i wake up every sunday hating myself and stay up way to late every Saturday to try and push it back some, and my grandparents make me feel guilty for being myself but dont care im suffering mentally and are more concerned about brining me to church as much as possible to pretend they're the "good christian family" but honestly... I don't think they are.
hey, as a muslim lesbian i relate a lot to what you say but i wanted to tell you that it does get better, i'm happy now, and I'm accepting myself, i'm here if you want to talk, i can even give you the link of my social media if you need somebody to listen to you, you're amazing, beautiful, strong and loved, wish you all the best
@@ninaandsimone3854 thank you, its always great to know that there are more of us out there who are struggling with the expectations our family and society places on us. 💗
I see a lot of comments about their bad experiences with Christianity. I grew up a Jehovas Witness so this is for the Queer JWs. I always feel guilt for being lesbian because it’s just a ‘lifestyle not natural’. But I always remember, if Jehova really loves you unconditionally he would resurrect you in paradise without NEEDING you to change. The JW system is broken, they take advantage of the vulnerable all the time. Don’t believe any of the lies they tell. I promise to any gay JW who reads this, there’s more of us than you think, we’re hiding but we’re still here, you’re not alone.
omg thank you 😭 as a young lesbian witness I feel so alone because no one steps up and comes out because of fear of being disfellowshiped. Thank you i don't think you understand just thank you 😭🙏🏾
@@frog3009I wrote my comment when I was 17 and now I’m 18 and graduated high school. There was so much going on in my head at the time and all I wanted was to put my words out there for someone to read. I glad my comment offered you a sense of solidarity. It’s what I would’ve wanted for me too. 😭
because of the way i was raised going to church so much i now constantly feel as though someone is watching me judging my every move. My mom's more understanding but my dad is upset i'm not straight and if i told either of them i'm not cis either they'd freak the hell out. It's made me a worse person i can't learn someone is christian and not be more cautious although i do have some friends now who are christian (if she sees this i hope you know you're a literal angel love you so much you're amazing) but i can't trust most anybody now especially not my family. not everyone who's religious is bad and i know that they can be super nice but it's come to the point you have to auto assume they are bad because of the small chance that they might actually be bad. sorry i really needed to vent to random strangers on the internet remember you are all loved and cared about and i am super proud of how far you've gotten now have a good day/night/whatever time it is, bye bye.
this playlist makes me wanna scream for some reason. i didn't know being a closeted pansexual ex-muslim atheist in a very conservative and muslim country was this much frustrating. there is no one i can talk to about how scared i am about everything my future holds. I know I am gonna come out to my mom and everyone else I know when I am no longer scared of being tortured by my own mom ig. But its still scary that once I do that, I would have to leave all of them because I know no one will accept me. Their bigoted beliefs are much more important to them than me
I do kinda relatebto you. Im a hetero sexual "muslim" (i consider myself as an agnostic), 3 days ago i told my parents "what Would you do if i became a non muslim", my mother said she'll kick me out and hate me while my dad, he didnt say anything but i knew he Would beat me up, i live my family and i dont want them to leave me after they sufferd raising me all these years, im only muslim so they dont leave. Religion is really cruel isnt it...
@@TheberryY I am scared to even ask my mom that. But I know its gonna be the same for me too. I just hope you know it isn't our fault for leaving any religion. Finding a community of people who are similar to me helped me quite a bit. Its strangely comforting to know that I am not the only one who left Islam and that its okay to leave Islam or any religion.
@@zale8829 i hope once your grown you can live your life the way you want it to be, i wanna help people and give donation to country in need, i was upset by the earthquake in syria and turkey (mostly syria since that is where i came from i live in riyadh which is hell) also. yeah people who are simliar to me is actually is comforting, it did help me too. I hope when i grow up i hope i can live the way i want. Im glad im not the only one who isnt ex muslim.
this is hard but i REALLY need someone to talk to. i like girls, but sometimes i feel guilty. i get really really scared and really confused and then my heart starts hurting as i fear the thought of hell. and i cant tell anyone because the last time i told the truth, i got lots of things taken away. and i think to myself “never again”. i really wish this wasn’t real. because maybe i’d be able to like girls freely without fearing i’d burn for eternity.
hey, as a muslim lesbian, i'm here for you, i relate a lot to what you say but i wanted to tell you that it does get better, i'm happy now, and I'm accepting myself, i'm here if you want to talk, i can even give you the link of my social media if you need somebody to listen to you, you're amazing, beautiful, strong and loved, wish you all the best
@@ninaandsimone3854 thank you, my parents recently found out about my attraction to girls and i havent been doing well. seeing this made me feel better 💞💞
@@SpikeyBagel im starting to explore different religions to see which fits me best, i realized christianity made my mental health drop. leaving christianity felt like leaving a toxic relationship. thanks for your reply 💞💞💞
@@eli-kh7bk omggg ireally hope it will get better, i'm here if you need to talk (i can give you my social media or something like that if you need it) please remember that you're beautiful and strong and loved and that we care for you, i promise things will get better soon, it always does
Personally, I feel like God has a reason for every situation and every feeling. Obviously, you're meant to feel this way. You're loved don't forget that ♡
This is the best playlist I've ever heard!!! Every single song fits perfectly and hits super deep. As a queer kid who grew up christian thank you so much for this video
I am Muslim and lately I have been questioning my sexuality as bi but then I love god I don’t want to be a sinner so I decided to keep it in me until the end and never sin and hope god will help me an show me where to go but it hurts so much because I love a girl and wish to be with her so I hope when I go to heaven I can be with her🙁🙁
The first song especially hit hard for me. Even before I figured out I was biromantic with a lean more towards more feminine people I had been questioning things since I was around 10 or 11 years old. I remember asking what would happen to all of the people who had never heard about God but were objectively good people. They would still go to heaven right? Later on I wondered people who were kind who believed in other denominations, religions, or none at all. We're they not being saved just because they didn't believe the right thing? What about children or babies that died young and never got to make that sort of decision? My mom replied saying it depended on what their parents believed. That didn't sit right with me even back then. This was later cemented when I met my best friend. She doesn't believe in any particular religion and she is the sweetest and kindest person I've ever met. The thought that she wouldn't go to heaven according to these rules baffled me when I thought about it properly later on. I remember questioning when the Bible said we could only be truly good through when we let the Holy Spirit into our hearts. That we needed to be made new and born again. That it would happen for real when we went to heaven during the end times. It made me wonder, if removing all of our imperfections, even the minor ones would end up making us all just mostly the same. Sure being or prone to bouts of anger or violence are definitely not good things and should be worked on, but small things like being sarcastic or just a bit lazy or irritable sometimes. Would our range of emotions just no longer be available to us, or would we all just collectively know to not express it. Would we remember all of the people we knew on Earth that didn't make it? Would we miss them? Would we forget them altogether? My mother answered that question saying that we would be so happy in heaven that we wouldn't think about that sort of thing. The more questions my child self asked, the more things didn't make sense to me or didn't sound all that appealing to me. Then I fell for the girl I mentioned ( I was 13 almost 14) as my best friend earlier. I was terrified... I had been lurking around the LGBTQ+ community at that point just observing. I hadn't considered myself a part of it until then. At this point my mom had told me two years earlier that girls liking girls and boys liking boys was sinful. This had also confused me back then ( I was 11 when she told me). Why was it sinful? I understood why things like lying, stealing, killing, and not honoring your parents was bad, but this sudden new rule didn't make sense to me. Then I learned just how many other rules there were in Leviticus. Some were somewhat logical or made sense given the historical context, others seemed just pointless or weird. Anyways it was at that point where I questioned whether I would even be allowed in church anymore, did I even want to go considering how toxic it was starting to feel as the years passed. Unfortunately, I can't really separate from it at least for a little while until I move out. So it's waiting until I graduate college then.
im a lesbian raised christian i never really believed in Christ nor did i god (i did enjoy the coloring Sunday school) but now that im older i tried having a relationship with god i tried so so hard, byt either way I had these "sinful" thoughts, i feel like somethings wrong with me ive tried repentance but all its ever made me do was increase my intrusive thoughts when in a religous area i had an anxiety attack when i was in 7th grade at a field trip, it was at a church, i felt so unwelcomed there, i couldn't breathe and i had a breakdown, it felt so embarrassing, i was so scared whether my parents would find out or not. but the thing is that confused was that ive never reacted that way whenever I was at church, ever since then i get really intrusive self harming thoughts any time i was going to church. i want to tell my parents that i dont want to attend church but im absolutely terrified
Aha venting below (sorry) I'm lucky enough to be in an accepting household, but my parents are divorced and my dad who I thankfully don't live with) is super religious. He would always take me and my sisters to mass every Sunday (the only day we saw him) and I've associated religion with him, and when I'm around him I am the opposite of myself. I feel like God only loves the 'me' I am, or was, around my dad when we were at mass, and that 'me' is a lie. My dad moved farther away so I see him less and he doesn't take us to church anymore, but I feel like if I walked into one I would burn to ash. Both my sisters are 18 now, but I'm the youngest and he still has half custody of me. If he were to find out I'm trans he could have the power to send me to a conversion camp, but my Mom supports me and says she won't let him do that, but we can't let him find out in the first place. So I'll have to lie to him until I'm old enough that he won't have power over me. It's like I'm hiding from both him and God. sometimes I feel like my existence is a sin, but I know if I tried to pretend to be cis that would be an even bigger lie, as well as probably pretty self-destructing.
Songs I’d Put on a “Queer Christian with Religious Trauma” Playlist: Jesus (the punk) from Texas - Semler You’re Not My Friend - Semler Raise Up -Semler Thank God for That - Semler Promised Land - Semler Hallelujah- Semler Good Man - Semler Don’t Tell Anyone - Semler Outro- Semler Prodigal Girl - Semler TobyMac - Semler Gotta Get Outta Here- Reliant K Can’t Go Back - Trey Pearson I Can’t Make You Love Me - Trey Pearson Don’t Dance - Trey Pearson Hey Jesus - Trey Pearson Holy Water - Noah Davis God Loves Me Too - Brian Falduto House of God - Mōzi All Belong Here - The Many Come As You Are - The Many Pray It Away - Alex G Revolutionary - Josh Wilson Native Tongue - Switchfoot Praying - Kesha You’re Not Welcome Here - Neathan Apollo ur gonna wish you believed me - Cavetown If I made the playlist, I’d mix em up. Most are about queer Christians specifically. Some are just worship songs that feel queer (like how Reliant K is the only Christian band I know is affirming). Some are fighting songs that feel like the anger of a queer Christian with religious trauma.
My family isn’t homophobic… but they want me yo be straight… it doesn’t help that I’m trans… They want me to be the perfect, straight, girl who will grow up and have a family. That’s not what I wantz
I was raised Christian. I’m lgbtq, my parents are generally concerned about surgery (I’m trans, forgot to say that.) But, I don’t want surgery. I just want my hair cut and a binder too. My grandparents have a transgender friend, but don’t respect her pronouns. Like I get that it’s weird, and probably confusing, but I just respect everything that hurts nothing in any way. Just respect people for who they are.
Venting because I know nobody knows who I am I always grew up Christian. I knew I loved Jesus and even read the Bible or talked to him at night. I just thought it was about being happy and kind to others so I loved it. Then, I started having some bad experiences. 1. When I was 7/8, my dad wouldn’t let me watch any Disney movie with magic in it because they were “mocking God” I was devastated because I didn’t want to let God down but Disney was my favorite. I couldn’t even watch Jessie because in ONE EPISODE they said “death spell” it made me so upset. 2. My school had a thing for Halloween where we would learn dances to popular songs. One was by Katy Perry. When my dad heard about this, he said I couldn’t listen to her anymore because “she’s a devil follower and kisses girls” it made me upset. Same thing happened with Nicki Minaj and Rihanna. 3. When I was 9 I had a friend who said she was bisexual. I didn’t think anything of it and treated her the same (like any decent human would) and when my aunt found out she got so scared. She said “don’t talk to her because she could try and do something to you” like huh? We were 9 and all she did was have a crush on a girl. Same thing happened when I was 11. 3. I started having a crush on a girl when I was 12. She was really sweet. But since my brother went to the school, I couldn’t risk my dad finding out. So I kept them secret. Then I ended up breaking a boys heart because I needed to figure it out. Still feel bad about it but then again I was 12. 4. At 13, my feelings grew stronger despite the fact that i haven’t talked to her since we went into quarantine. In November we started talking again and it was the best moment ever. We started a relationship a week later it was the happiest I’ve ever been. 5. Beginning of 2021 my dad found out. He made me delete Snapchat and started checking my phone often. One night he yelled at me and it got so bad I was planning on hurting myself. 6. My aunt told me that she or my dad wouldn’t want anything to do with me if I married a girl. That hurt. So one night (I regret this with all my heart) I prayed that I would fall in love with a boy. Beginning of 9th grade it happened but I was still with the girl. I ended up breaking her heart and pushed her away. We stopped talking until February. We caught up with each other and told each other we were in new relationships. It was nice, but didn’t feel right. For one, my bf SUCKED. Left me on read but was quick to text my best friends 😐. I realized I made the biggest mistake and it was all my fault. I felt terrible for months. I almost ended it, but I was able to talk to my English teacher. I told her everything. She reassured me that I am who I am and honestly made me feel more loved than my dads side of the family ever did. I’m convinced she saved my life and she will always have a special place in my heart. I’m better now, I have a more spiritual connection with what I believe in and it’s making me feel better. I just want to tell my dad but idk how.
Something happened to me similar to your story. I'm glad that you found someone to tell your issues to :) Gives me hope that I might find someone who understands and doesnt call me a sinner lol. I hope all goes well for you.
@imagica kinda struggling with it but I still do feel like I believe in God, I just don’t know if i wanna follow a religion that has rules and things like that. I try to be a good person so sometimes I feel like you should just love everyone but honestly I’m not sure yet. I guess you could say I’m spiritual.
Thank you for this, my mom thought I was possessed by a demon cause I was misbehaving and having mental break downs I had anxiety and depression and still do, but not really depression I was just so lost and numb, I didn’t know what to do with myself and I would always beg to God to make my mom stop always acting like I was possessed and even scared me and my brother so much from having us in pitch black darkness and pinned us down talking to the “demons” inside of us when it was just us bearing all the trauma we had already had inside of us. My mom had trauma, so I’m not fully blaming her for ours. I’m not gonna get into all of our trauma nor hers. But I’m still here still believing 🤍 and I’m also happily bisexual and have a girl friend, and I’ve asked God and he has accepted me as who I am. Godbless everyone who is and isn’t reading this wether you are or aren’t Christian
I'm a nonbinary aro (current label, still figuring it out), agnostic/atheist, mentally ill/just f*ed up in general being who's grown up in a Christian home. It's a struggle, I can't come out safely to anyone in my family ever, financially I'm trapped for now, and all in all it's just really hard. The songs are a nice little escape though, at first I was kinda ehhh with them still being somewhat religious but they're actually alright. About half way through and only had to skip one so far for personal reasons. ♡♡♡
I was raised Christian, and I am still a Christian to this day. I don’t like labeling myself but if I had to explain, the easiest way to explain myself is a bi (leaning towards lesbian) grey-romantic girlflux or genderfluid person. I have only had one male crush my whole life. He’s an actor. I told my friends because I wanted to fit in and seem normal (I’m not out), but now they and their parents tease me that I have a crush. It makes me want to not like him anymore because I feel embarrassed or that it’s something I should be ashamed for. Yet, he’s the only hope I have for not being rejected by my community if I come out. It’s hard to keep a crush I get teased for but if I can’t keep this up… I may never like a guy again, and as a Christian that’s my fear. Anyway, thank you for this Playlist. It makes me feel less alone to hear these songs and to read everyone’s beautiful stories ❤️❤️❤️
I'm very lucky because my parents are mostly accepting but the rest of my family isn't, nor is anyone including my church. I've not outed myself yet and I don't plan to but it still hurts how they go on about how I'm a sinner for being gay and tell me to punish myself and stuff like that. I'm glad I've not been put in a conversion vamp at this point but church is still making it so bad. I have gf and I feel so dirty and horrible being together because of this. Why can't I just live happily with them, why does God even care?
Warning: vent (it wasn’t going to be, but it turned into one.) I’m looking for songs for a playlist about a character I like, but I’m wondering if there’s a possibility that I could have religious trauma. I have only realized recently that many of my experiences as a small child could be trauma. Those experiences are some of many that happened at the Catholic school I started going to in kindergarten. It goes from Pre-K to grade 8. I’ve experienced so much bullying and had a point when I was barely 9 where I got yelled at by my mom to take my sweater off because of how hot it was since it was 2 weeks before summer break. I remember the exact sweater. It was blue leopard print with little ears on the hood. It zipped up. I’ve gone through so much and I’m only realizing it now. I don’t know what else I’ll realize before I finally leave that school. I live in a very religious area too and have since I was 7 or just after I turned 8. They aren’t just catholic. They’re evangelicals. Since moving there I have found out I have ADHD and autism, I’m lesbian and ace, and I’m a demigirl and demiagender and I use she/they pronouns. I stopped believing in God when I was 10 because I was scared I was going to h3ll for being gay. I have no friends here. I don’t know if I have religious trauma, though.
I think it’s only been recently that I’ve come to see I have religious trauma. When I tried to tell my youth pastor about my mental health and sh problems he essentially said good luck, gods testing you. He didn’t even seemed worried about the scars or my mental health. On top of that, they always say they have unconditional love, but if a gay person walked through the doors, there would be 5 seats on each side of him and maybe the stray person to tell him to leave. If they found you were gay they would forcefully out you. They say they do all this stuff and follow the word, but out in the world I don’t see it. They are the nice people but judge and/or force the word onto people. There’s more I could list, but it’s to much to type out. My mom still makes me go cause she’s conservative so I don’t want to have to fight her on me being gay and genderfluid. I can’t wait till I graduate high school and head to college so I don’t have to attend church anymore.
My story is presented (enjoy, it gets crazy): When i was 8 or 9 i started going to church. I loved it soooo much. I loved being christian because my entire family is christain. Not a single family member is not. One day i stopped believing in god or any god. I became atheist. I told my best friend at a sleepover and she told her family and her family told my family... My parents were shocked and my dad said i would work at McDonald's for the rest of my life and my great aunt and mom said im going to hell. I was grounded a few times bc i was atheist. No other reason except i didnt believe in god. My great aunt thought if she kept forcing me to go to church i would be fixed. I told her i did not like church bc people gave me dirty looks bc i dressed masculine. She forced me to go. Then she even made a pastor pray for me bc i "needed jesus". My bestfriend who told my family that i was atheist ditched me. My family was on her team and said "if i were her i would leave you too!" They tried to force us to be friends again bc she apologized. I moved back in with my mom and thought she would accept me as atheist and she indeed did not. Soooo yes i have way more but im to tired to type anymore if you want an update let me know.
To everyone listening to this playlist, I want you to listen to what I have to say, just for a second: I know that it’s hard right now.. you don’t feel accepted, you don’t feel like you can be yourself but just know, if you feel no one will ever love you, if you feel like no one is there to listen, if you feel as though you have no one to trust. I’m here. Here are some things I want you to remember: -You are loved -You’re accepted by me -You don’t have to put on a show or mask -You don’t have to pretend -It’s okay to struggle but don’t let those struggles consume you -It’s okay to feel your emotions -You’re beautiful/handsome/stunning -You matter. I know it’s hard to listen to someone on the internet who you don’t know. So I’ll share with you my story… Hi there… my name is Olliver and I also go by Ollie for short. I’m currently 16 years old. I’m bisexual and under the transgender umbrella. Im (AFAB) nonbinary but I also don’t mind masculine terms. I use they/he pronouns. I’m autistic and struggle with chronic pain, chronic fatigue and reoccurring major depressive disorder, general severe anxiety, and I struggle with hallucinations occasionally. I knew I wasn’t a girl since I was about 4-5 years old. I started developing feelings for my childhood best friend when I was only 6 years old. My parents and just my whole family in general, is very strongly religious (Christians). They would force me to go to church in hopes to change me out of who I was. I would cry and cry and pray for Jesus to change me, to make me “normal”. I was always normal. My feelings were normal. My parents would make me stop talking to people who were gay/trans because they thought that I would become that too. With everything that was going on, I was struggling with thoughts of unaliving myself and I was having struggles with self-harm. I would always be terrified of being forgotten by God if the rapture to happen. Im still terrified of the possibility of going to hell. I was scared that God would never love someone like me. I’ve had to learn to respect and accept myself and even today, I still struggle. My parents and family don’t still accept me, I’ll admit it. They would say that I was being influenced by the internet but I was still having those feelings before I had access to the internet. If you ever need a friend, someone to talk to, someone who will listen, please talk to me: Instagram: crystal_pshyce Snapchat: lionb0y_03 Discord: _pastel_03
I’m absolutely terrified of going to h3ll because I’m gay and trans but, I don’t think that would really considered religious trauma, but either way I heavily relate to this playlist
They made me hate myself because I'm not straight. But they still say that they love me, if they are so full of love why can't they accept that I don't like boys? //It's not about my family, they are really good people, but so many Christians hurted me, and they still do. My life isn't a sin...
growing up with a hard christian family has ruined any chance of me getting into religion. i can't even hear about people praying for others without melting down. is there something wrong with me?
I meant ‘gay’ in the title as a more umbrella term for the LGBT+ community. (I considered using ‘queer’ but I was p sure TH-cam wouldn’t like that word)
Coming here after getting told for an hour that I was going against god, and that I need to repent after cross dressing. My parents went on about it until I was crying so hard I could barely breathe, and then say that they’re trying their best to make me happy and they don’t understand why I’m depressed. Then they go out and talk about queer people like they’re lower than dirt in front of me, and ban me from even saying asexual since I’ve come out. They love me, but they’re so biased from their Christianity that they can’t see how it’s destroyed me over the years.
I was raised to hate Christianity, as my mother has religious PTSD, but sometimes I still find myself on my knees beside my bed. Holding my hands so tightly together my knuckles turn white, praying to a god I know doesn't exist. Sometimes I wonder if He hates me, God. I'm a queer non binary kid who constantly laughs in His face. Why wouldn't He be? But I think all the hateful Christians are wrong. If there is a god, and He created all of us, then why would he hate what he made with his own hands? It doesn't make sense.
Semi-vent I'm asexual panromantic and a demigirl. My sisters know but my parents do not. My family is extremely religious, as in we go to two churches every Sunday, and if you have anything else planned for Sunday morning it is cancelled, no matter the consequences. We pray before every meal and if you have to participate. Im not even that religious beacuse of the way religion was brought to me. I most afraid of coming out to my father. I am not quite sure of what my father's opinion on the LGBTQIA+ community, but from what I can get from his reaction to queer representation in media, he isn't welcoming them with open arms. I want to be, but I'm worried of what would happen.
Vent: I’m a Christian, Closeted bisexual. But I want everyone think I’m Aro/ace or straight at any chance. I’m having to deal with religious trauma and other traumatic things a pretty young age. And I consider Travis (yes I kin Travis so don’t ask) like me I’m scared cause I know 100% that my mother is homophobic but I’m unsure if my father is the only I know is that he makes fun of anything that has to do with LGBTQ+ Or anything that has to do with love. I’m scared of what going to be ahead of me. It’s around 7-9 pm and I’m listening to playlist like this, The only that can cope my mental health problems Vent : I hate saying that I don’t support LGBTQ And saying it’s a sin to all. It hurts me and many others. I wish I can just, Let myself go, let me be who I want to be. I don’t get how I can trust the internet than trust myself or a person I’m close too. Anyhow, have a good day. Bye bye.
I don’t have trauma, but I just fell out of the belief. It’s hard to believe when you were taught to love everyone, but as you grow up you see your parents grow more and more full of hate. Seemed silly to me that Jesus said to love everyone, yet people who are in love with someone is a sin… I miss the days where I just went to church for fun and talk to my friends, sometimes about church and mostly about classic friends stuff. Now, I can’t even think about church without feeling bad for all these lovely people who were “sinners, and were going to hell”. I believe to live your life, you only live once right? What if there is no heaven and I waisted my life, missing the actual joy in every moment because I forced myself because religion.
I have a religious family and they are very homophobic except for my mother and her side of the family, but I live with my dad and he and his side of the family is extremely homophobic, I still love him though, even if he screams at me and burns my lesbian pride flag....
I'm bisexual and poly in I don't know if my parents support me my mom and brother said it a sin cuz God only put one men and one women on earth, and my dad he doesn't support gay people...... but I support gay, trans, lesbian, and others😅and I'm only 13
I’m so sorry you experienced that. It must have been upsetting and heartbreaking to hear. Especially considering you thought you would get a positive response. You matter… you’re wonderful just who you are ♡
my parents always force me to go to church, but i hate it. they don’t understand that the majority of our church members are homophobic as hell and make homophobic jokes regularly, and it rlly hurts. they don’t understand cuz they’re straight and they force their ideals into me, but it hurts every single time. i hate sundays. i avoid church on purpose, but my parents don’t even wanna hear MY beliefs. i don’t think christianity is bad and i don’t mind going to church from time to time (some christian beliefs r good), but i feel like i’m being forced to b like them. they know i’m gay. they know how i am. and yet they treat me like i’m less than. i have never felt more homesick in a home that i know i can’t be myself in. it’s exhausting. i just wanna be accepted! i already accept myself, why can’t everybody else? - not only my parents upset me. my cousins (who i rlly do love) are extremely homophobic. i’m so conflicted. why must i prove my existence is GOOD? why should i try 100x harder than the average, straight person to be accepted? most of the content i consume has canon lgbtq rep. everything ab me is tightly connected to the lgbtq community.
I am Christian, and gay, but I have no problem with the lord or the son or the holy spirit it's the religion that I hate with almost all of the guts. Short I know but there isn't much to it
I went to a pretty... Opinionated church. The pastor specifically didn't like me, and would hold me back in Sunday school, I was taking bible study classes with kids 4-6 years younger than me, and when my mom finally convinced him to let me go to confirmation class I lasted 3 classes before getting kicked out. What did I do? Not believe, and I had my own arguments, but I didn't bother the class, I just didn't do the work. He said "if you don't want to be here you can leave"... I couldn't, my parents and grandma wouldn't let me. The pastor hated me, his wife tried multiple times to pretty much brainwash me too, especially after I cut my hair because I was already dressing "like a boy" (jeans and a fucking flannel... 💀) Also, There was a very influential family in the community too, and they tried to make me go to their house on multiple occasions, the one time I did they brought me down to the basement and tried to get my mom and grandma to leave and come back the next day (a sleepover, one of their daughters was a year or two older than me)... I still don't get good vibes from either of them, homeschooling their kids, no phones until they were 16 and it was flip phones until they were 18, friends had to be approved of and their parents had to be met, their kids never really looked right, they participated in everything but they always had a weird look on their faces, and their son kinda disappeared the minute he turned 19. Makes me wonder what they woulda tried if my mom had left me there alone. Anyway, I don't go to that church, or any church anymore, but my fam still pushes it on me. I'm gay and trans too lol 💅
I am a muslim. I am thinking of putting aside my transition aside. I know I’ll live and die unhappy. But religion is important. I wish I could have been both. I wish it could have been both
@@MeowMuch-rm4kk you dont know their parents, maybe when your older you can respect people. Im asexual andam i delusional for disliking sex? No, because im not seeing anything that im not supposed to see.
i was born and raised in a muslim household; the idea, since i could think, has always been wrong to me. over the years, it's festered and festered---finally, i have a concrete basis to say this on. religion is wrong. no, I'm not saying all people who follow religion are wrong; I'm not saying beliefs are invalid; i'm not saying you're wrong for believing in god; I'm not saying anything like that. I'm saying that the idea that you should raise your child since birth to follow a set belief is incorrect. if you _choose_ to believe in something, that's great, but many people don't get that privilege. following our parents blindly from birth? shit. told you won't be accepted for shit you can't control when god is supposed to love us regardless of our differences (ie; being gay)? fucking pathetic. being forced to cover your differences (ie; neurodivergency) and bullied for things _out of your control_ by the community that's supposed to support you, and then retroactively being told _you_ are in the wrong for committing sins out of your control? hypocritical and pathetic. we are raised to be slaves. and us, as slaves, aren't allowed to be gay.
Hello, I know that no one will read my story, if it is ?, But here I am, i'm bisexual, and maybe non binary, still questionning myself about that, but not sure i'm a girl, being called she doesn't bother me at all, but being called they or he neither, they maybe feels more right for me i dunno ?, But i was raised as muslim, and god this isn't fit for me, yes i wasn't really "raised", i never read the Quran, and i pray only a few times, but religions was always a burden for me, even if i didn't practice, at least islam, i did read one or two page of the Quranbjt didn't really like it, i'm not an atheist but not monotheist, i know that, still questionning too about that haha, and yet, even if i wasn't properly raised as muslim, this religion makes ma feel weird, i don't like it, it made me quesions, but all this made me do is cry, cry and cry and cry, why, why does it making me feel so bad ? So i serched things about religions, and it can be beautiful yes, but not for me, i hate it. And yet i have such a big internalised homophobia, it makes me cry, i know it's normal for me but in the same time i don't know, i'm scared. I came out to my mom at 13 years old, she accept me but told me to not tell it to protect me, and i'm grateful because it would have been terrible in my community, i won't came out to my dad, he's homophobic and i'm scared, i'm so scared and quesionnong that i wanna die, i'm scared. So it there's any muslim part of the lgbtqia+ comunity who could talk about their personnal experience to me ? Of it doesn't bother them of course, thank you thank you so much, and if you are Shiite and part of the "cozas" community, thanks you too and we are together, i love you all (i'm french between) ❤️❤️❤️
For anyone who is gay but wasnt raised Christian but still religious (Jewish, Muslim, etc..) you're not alone
That’s a relief
people who think that religious trauma only happens to those who are christian are delusional, thank you for bringing this up lol
@@pinkpinkmermayyy i dont think they only think it happens to christians, its just christians who mainly talk about it. i felt isolated scrolling through the comment section so i wanted to create a comment addressing it. from a numbers standpoint, christiany is the biggest religon but others also deserve representation when talking about religious trauma
I was raised Catholic and its quite strange that people mainly talk about being raised christian
Im not gay but i am "muslim" (i consider myself as an agnostic) and this playlists hits hard tbh...
Please I just had another... conversation? argument? with my homophobic, transphobic, christian, parents and as a nonbinary, panromantic, and still a christian person. It makes it super hard to keep my faith some days.
Anyways thanks for this playlist I needed to cry and recover.
1 Corinthians 15:58
So, then brothers and sisters, don't let anyone move you off your foundation of your faith. Always excel in the work that you do for the LORD. You know that the hard work that you do for the LORD is not pointless.
1 Peter 2:9
Ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people that you should show forth the praises of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.
@@bambi5343 Thank you fren, it means alot :')
I remember wanting to keep my Christian faith through coming out as nonbinary and pan. It didn’t fix everything for me (no longer Christian), but I felt more joy going to a queer-affirming church instead of my parents’ homophobic church. They made me want to believe. We are ALL worthy of love and community. 💛
What is this non binary pa romantic nonsense?
Hey, hey stop scrolling, I have something to tell you!
Your slaying right now ❤️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️💅
Omg what does that mean
My favorite part is when I said "Its slaying time" and I slayed all over the place.
:)))) so are you
Vent: Crying right now because I think I’m lesbian but I’m dating a guy so my family can be proud but shit this hurts. My family is Christian and they always tell me that being gay is a sin and I’ll go to hell if I think a woman is hot... I tried.. I really tried to make myself like guys but I just can’t control myself.. my dad sucks, he’s a terrible father, husband, and overall a terrible person. My sister fell for a guy and he got her pregnant and left. I’m scared of men. I don’t want men to control me or my life! I just want to be free.. I’m starting to think god isn’t real because if he was he’d make me straight like all of his other creation.
Powered by rainbows is a great resource on TH-cam, they have a video that utilizes the comment section as a chatting space
@@mintfroggi506 thanks for telling me that! I really need somewhere to vent
@@horseheadsenpai1401 np! I also wrote a whole paragraph thing but it's no longer showing up for me, did you get it? If not I can retype it, it had some info on it
@@mintfroggi506 oh no it’s not showing up for me ^^’
@@horseheadsenpai1401 TH-cam seems to be censoring it due to a word, so here's my third attempt:
I'd recommend checking if your school has a gsa and checking that out, as well as talking to anyone in person you can trust 100%, the priority is your safety.
The Trevor project also has some great resources and a chat feature!
As for Christianity, the bible verses against gay people were mistranslated, and gay animals are a common occurrence, so if there is a God he's cool with the gays. I'm an atheist personally but you can be gay and christian! If you're looking for a beer friendly branch of Christianity Episcopals are good I'm pretty sure! Also feel free to vent to me here, I understand how important being able to talk to someone is.
Holy shit Travis Phelps is actually the best candidate for religious Trauma
I recognized the photo immediately, his character is too close to the name of this video (although they probably made it that way lol)
Travis from sally face?
@@TheberryY yep
IKR 💀😭
As a trans guy who is bisexual, this hit too close for me. I’m not out yet and it hurts hearing the harassment about the LGBTQ+ community from students, and even teachers, in school. Catholic school sucks… Well, I hope everyone’s doing okay- now or eventually. Thank you for making this wonderful playlist :)
Maybe if you stopped saying you like men and that you're trans maybe you get stopped being bullied by sane people?
pov ur gay with religious trauma but u have no comfort group cuz ur ex muslim
I'm with you uh, that must be hard, all my love and support
@@ninaandsimone3854 tnnnxx♥️😭
I’m so sorry, but just remember that if you need someone to vent to the comments are always open
I’m so sorry, it’s really upsetting how much backlash exmuslims get and how little support 💕
I seriously hate how exmuslin are treated and how we all are supposed to overlook the shitshow Islam actually is, or else we are "racist". This motherfuckers should be open to criticism as much as chistianism is(despite not being enough). I've been reading many exmuslins histories, and many of them are even harder and gruesome than the ones from exchritians. I sincerely wish I could actually do something to help you all.
Gay ex Jehovah Witness from Brazil here.
I recently came out as trans to my parents and they weren't very happy about it. They raised me as a perfect straight little christian girl, and yet I came out as a mentally ill, panromantic, atheist demiboy who can't step into a church without having a panic attack.
I LOVE YOUR PLAYLIST THOUGH! IT'S AMAZING KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK
I remember that one tiktok remix thing that was like “Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus I love tO PRAISEEE YOURRR NAMEEE I LOVE TO LIVEEEEE YOUU OUTTTTTTTT”
currently hiding in the closet bc im bi and my family are christians. it hurts bc none of my friends understand how in danger i am in if i do let out my feelings to my family. if i do, they wont forgive me and treat me like an outsider. its hard to be alone, seeing all my online friends having supporting parents and family. maybe when i move out that'll be when i tell them. then, they cant do anything to me. guess i just was in the wrong family.
i feel u here. Im genderfluid and pan and in the same boat as you
@@bubbletea3168 glad im not the only one, but im sorry you're in the situation as well :(
I am also bi (and girlflux) and part of a Christian family. The only thing keeping me going is thinking about moving out one day. Then I will come out when I am self reliant. I hope you can do this too. I’ve never met someone like this before. I wish one day we could meet. The only person I’m out to is my friend who is not a Christian and she’s the only lgbt supporting person in my life, but she’s not good at keeping secrets or being reliable. It feels great to have someone who actually knows me, but at the same time it’s terrifying when she’s around my family because I’m afraid she’ll out me and think it’s not a big deal because it was a mistake or something. I just want to give my advice and say, be careful, and keep dreaming for a brighter future.
@@DDD2323-z5i thank you so much! i hope things will get better for the both of us in the future. i hope you're well.
Just did 25 pushups and ran across my town, told a bitch on Snapchat to end herself over lbgtq drama,now I'm going to lift weights
I've always loved my religious community. I think they'd love me no matter what, because I was taught that G'd would always love me. Since I outed myself as trans they make me feel guilty and outstanding. I lost my 2nd home, just because of the way I am.
So sorry abt that:( Are u Jewish?
i'm sorry to hear that, wish you all the best
@@eseese1609 yea
@@elfy960 same I’m gay in a very religious Jewish community and I think Imma be closeted for life lol
Do u have snap? Idk many gay or trans jews
Not gay per se, but I am beginning to question whether I actually believe everything I was told was true, everything instilled in me since birth. The very act of questioning it and doubting it makes me feel immense guilt.
Bro fucking sMe
everyone who doesn't know Travis: good music etc.
everyone who knows Travis: SALVIS. ✨💙
Yes
Yeah 🥲
YESSS
This raspy playlist is helpful. I have decided to write a character who undergone religion trauma, so he needs a good playlist.
Same
I'm not the typa person to be watching these kinds of videos but I fucking hate the fact my parents force me into being a Christian and how I'm a "child of God" or whatever even though I have my own beliefs and yeah I guess it helped a bit idk
⛪ Spotify: open.spotify.com/playlist/5uV6gFps43pjr0YYjlmjae?si=3ba01bc402f5421f ⛪
⛪ Timestamps ⛪️
[ jesus, jesus - noah gunderson ] 0:00
[ trees - mccafferty ] 3:36
[ jesus christ 2005 god bless america - the 1975 ] 6:31
[ heaven sent - parker millsap ] 10:50
[ heaven - troye sivan ] 14:39
[ mad at god - sarah saint james ] 18:52
[ vbs - lucy dacus ] 21:44
[ if i believe you - the 1975 ] 25:41
[ mystery of love - sufjan stevens ] 31:56
[ jesus from texas - semler ] 36:01
[ religion - wilder woods ] 39:14
[ saint bernard - lincoln ] 42:38
[ normal - katie pruitt ] 44:23
[ take me to church - hozier ] 49:27
[ daughter of god - phemiec ] 53:26
[ raging on a sunday - bohnes ] 57:36
[ the village - wrabel ] 1:01:07
I’d also suggest “Heaven Is A Party” by HappyHappy
"god is a freak" would work here
"Eve" By Precious Pepala wpuld be a good song too
I'm not sure if this counts as "Religious Trauma" but this happened a few months back while I was in school. One night my friends added me to a group chat on Snapchat at first, I didn't think anything of this. I already talked to these friends on Snapchat so I just thought it would be a fun silly, group chat. However, I could not be wrong, even now I still remember what happened even though I want to forget it.
These friends of mine are Muslim and they told me that we could no longer be friends. Why could we not be friends anymore? It was because I was a part of the LGBT community. They recently found out about that so it's not like they were keeping it from me. However, I noticed in the days before they told me it almost seemed like they were avoiding me.
And when they told me it just hurt even more and I just couldn't take it anymore. So I began to break down and cry I was just so hurt and upset. It got to the point where I couldn't take being in the same class as them in school so I told a teacher. It was resolved privately and I know my friends didn't have control and their religion is important to them.
But they gave an apology to me and I accepted it but I was lying and playing it off. But I just couldn't accept their apology I was just too hurt and to this day still am.
Why did it have to happen? I cared for them I loved them as friends and that happened. Am I in the wrong? Are they? Are they at fault for valuing their religion over our friendship? I I just wish none of it happened and we could have stayed friends.
Damn i hope your okay.
@@TheberryYHonestly after this happened I really was staring to do a lot better and feel good about myself! But then something else happened with them. But now I'm slowly move on from it and will hopefully forget about it soon. So thank you I am doing better now!
@DramatiDaze177Honestly I feel as if that was the case with me not being friends with them in the beginning. I even did so much as get them gifts I did and gave so much to them and barely got anything in return. Thinking back on it just makes me feel so sad and angry.
Something happened recently with them honestly I tried not to speak or be around them. But being in the same school and having the same classes made it difficult. I really should have just not talked with them because of what happened with us before.
But I feel like I let my kindness take advantage of me somehow as I still talked with them. Such as saying "hello" things such as that but I really shouldn't have done that. I was sitting with them one time and they were talking about religion and teachings for whatever reason.
Then they said something a long the lines of "do you believe gay people were created?" I'm guessing they meant it as in something like do they believe homosexuality was created. But either way it just really upset me and I just sat their in silence as they talked about it.
Honestly I should have just got up and left and I don't know why I didn't do that. It's been weeks now since it happened and I still can't stop thinking about it. Sorry to go on a rant about this in a reply lmao.
To all in the comment section I recommend the song "God must hate me"
Cause he certainly does you
@@MeowMuch-rm4kk huh
God doesn't hate you infact he sent his only begotten son to die for your sins john 3 16
[Vent]
I told to my grandfather yesterday that I won't talk to them anymore because they (including most of my father side of the family) trigger my trauma.
I told how I almost kms because my aunt told depression is a sin after I had a panic attack at school.
I told him that I still feel affected by the memory of coming out as a lesbian and being called stupid by my aunt and uncle.
I told him why I left the religion and how my aunts made me feel like I was an abomination.
And he told me " Just forget about it."
Well I can tell you one thing. Depression is NOT a sin. It's okay to feel sad, even Jesus wept. I'm sorry that your family isn't showing you the love that Jesus would show you. Jesus still loves you ❤
I know I'm 5 months late but I hope you're both physically and mentally well now ^^
Also, since he told you to "forget about it"
you can forget about it!
"It" being the people, i.e most of your father's side of the family and people who set off your trauma.
Nasty vibes away from you, my friend
Thank you for this.
I’m kicked out of home, have been for a while, and places like this help me feel less alone. Playlists like this helped me find myself two years ago and I’m proud to be nonbinary, transmasc, and pansexual. Happy to be KT, they/them. It still hurts to be rejected by my parents when we used to be so close, and I miss believing in god sometimes. My finances are shit, my life feels ruined sometimes, but I have the best girlfriend in the world and I’m learning more than I ever have. I wanna make it through this.
Hey I really hope you’re doing a little better now :) ❤
@@Ghosty._._. Thanks so much! I’m proud to say I actually am doing better now. Things aren’t completely settled, but I’ve felt like a typical human being for a while. 😁
Guess who’s getting confirmed against my will.
Me…
-Mercury Nightshade (he/they)
This was exactly what I was looking for... thanks..
i wasn't even raised christian but i was a little girl who needed comfort and tried to turn to god but then ended up scared to go to hell so i followed the religion like a dog who follows is loyal to his abusive owner. i needed a long time to get away from it and deep inside i'm still scared i will go to hell
If you don't accept Jesus you're going to hell.
And no dogs don't stay loyal to abusive owners
@@MeowMuch-rm4kk lol, judging is a sin in christianity.
@@MeowMuch-rm4kk listen i don't mean to offend your religion all i wanted to say is that in first line i practiced the religion in a for me emotional negative and draining way wich obviously is not what christianity is meant for
in second line if you find hope and peace in your religion i really don't care i am happy for you that it works out for you it just didn't work out for me
plus. i don't belive in heaven or hell i've found my path and my path is being pagan
the only thing i learned from school is that god loves you.
except if you don't fit into the exact mold they present you with
Then fit into the mold dumbass
Then there false he loves you no matter what he just hates sin infact he loves you so much that he sent his only begotten son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life john 3 16
Not me having religious trauma AND kinning Travis
I recognized the Travis Phelps photo right away. Although he bullied Sally, he was still one of my favorite characters. My parents both don’t accept (and are very VERY Christian) and I happen to like girls, so it made me feel like I wasn’t alone. ❤️
Sure, he bullied Sally, but he has as much, or even more trauma than him. Its really hard to hate someone who has such a shitty life. First, I know its not confirmed, but theres evidence supporting that his father is abusive. Hes constantly forced to be perfect, and every adult exepcts him to be like his father. Religous trauma, severe internalized homophobia, and I wouldnt be suprised if Portable Moose (thats the creators company name right?) told us he had suicidal thoughts. Not to mention he's practically forced to become a leader of a cult that is trying to take over God.
@@xoxoduck1995 yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s canon that his father is like that.
thank u for the new soundtrack to my breakdown 🥰🥰🥰
This playlist hits. Personally, I'm omnisexual, and I used to be a Christian, but the trouble came when I read 1 Rom 24-28.32
At first, I was a bit sad, but then I understood the real meaning of those words.
However, I feel like I'm inferior to other people. This thought comes from these questions:"If there are so many LGBT+ Christians,why I felt bad because of something written in the Bible and while they didn't?" Or other questions. I feel like I am a monster and wrong when I see that so many Christians can live their faith in a completely different way compared to mine. After this, I don't want to be a Christian, but this still sucks, because I wonder " If even the word of God made me feel this way, I' d never be happy whit anyone".
Moreover, there are many factors that made me feel this way. Due to "Christian" tiktok and other things I committed autokesionism and thad suicidal thoughts because I felt like I was not enough for certain things and I could do better. I wonder if there are some people that understand me and someone that has a story similar to mine. I really need to talk to someone, since I feel alone because of the book (Bible) in which wasxalways written that God never wanted me to feel like this. Is there anyone like me here?
I'm quite comfortable in my (straight) sexuality, but I've definitely felt the "monster" part that you mentioned. Earlier this year, because of a horrible thing I committed against someone I really loved, I was close to suicide as well. The sinner complex really kicked in; it was as if I was viewing my own life through the eyes of a huge congregation, and all I could hear was that I did not deserve to live, that I was a sinner and always would be, that it would be better/I may be able to atone for my sins if I were to "leave". I'm still trying to crawl out of that hole, but I just wanted to comment as someone who's still dealing with those thoughts that I'm a monster to say that you are *not*. No matter who you are, what you did, you clearly want to be a good person, but the framework our churches have given us tell us that if we don't fit into their mould, if we "sin" even once (or even just by nature of being "human"), we're sinners that don't deserve redemption, or can only be redeemed through god. That's not true. It is BECAUSE you're human, that we are constantly changing and learning, each person multifaceted and different from another, that you deserve the chance to change and be better, whatever that means to you. Loving and expressing your sexual desires with a consenting adult is not "sinful".
I’m not gay I just have religious trauma
Im don't think i have religious trauma bit i wake up every sunday hating myself and stay up way to late every Saturday to try and push it back some, and my grandparents make me feel guilty for being myself but dont care im suffering mentally and are more concerned about brining me to church as much as possible to pretend they're the "good christian family" but honestly... I don't think they are.
hey, as a muslim lesbian i relate a lot to what you say but i wanted to tell you that it does get better, i'm happy now, and I'm accepting myself, i'm here if you want to talk, i can even give you the link of my social media if you need somebody to listen to you, you're amazing, beautiful, strong and loved, wish you all the best
@@ninaandsimone3854 thank you, its always great to know that there are more of us out there who are struggling with the expectations our family and society places on us. 💗
love that Travis is the cover
I see a lot of comments about their bad experiences with Christianity. I grew up a Jehovas Witness so this is for the Queer JWs. I always feel guilt for being lesbian because it’s just a ‘lifestyle not natural’. But I always remember, if Jehova really loves you unconditionally he would resurrect you in paradise without NEEDING you to change. The JW system is broken, they take advantage of the vulnerable all the time. Don’t believe any of the lies they tell. I promise to any gay JW who reads this, there’s more of us than you think, we’re hiding but we’re still here, you’re not alone.
omg thank you 😭 as a young lesbian witness I feel so alone because no one steps up and comes out because of fear of being disfellowshiped. Thank you i don't think you understand just thank you 😭🙏🏾
@@frog3009I wrote my comment when I was 17 and now I’m 18 and graduated high school. There was so much going on in my head at the time and all I wanted was to put my words out there for someone to read. I glad my comment offered you a sense of solidarity. It’s what I would’ve wanted for me too. 😭
because of the way i was raised going to church so much i now constantly feel as though someone is watching me judging my every move. My mom's more understanding but my dad is upset i'm not straight and if i told either of them i'm not cis either they'd freak the hell out. It's made me a worse person i can't learn someone is christian and not be more cautious although i do have some friends now who are christian (if she sees this i hope you know you're a literal angel love you so much you're amazing) but i can't trust most anybody now especially not my family. not everyone who's religious is bad and i know that they can be super nice but it's come to the point you have to auto assume they are bad because of the small chance that they might actually be bad. sorry i really needed to vent to random strangers on the internet remember you are all loved and cared about and i am super proud of how far you've gotten now have a good day/night/whatever time it is, bye bye.
this playlist makes me wanna scream for some reason. i didn't know being a closeted pansexual ex-muslim atheist in a very conservative and muslim country was this much frustrating. there is no one i can talk to about how scared i am about everything my future holds. I know I am gonna come out to my mom and everyone else I know when I am no longer scared of being tortured by my own mom ig. But its still scary that once I do that, I would have to leave all of them because I know no one will accept me. Their bigoted beliefs are much more important to them than me
I do kinda relatebto you.
Im a hetero sexual "muslim" (i consider myself as an agnostic), 3 days ago i told my parents "what Would you do if i became a non muslim", my mother said she'll kick me out and hate me while my dad, he didnt say anything but i knew he Would beat me up, i live my family and i dont want them to leave me after they sufferd raising me all these years, im only muslim so they dont leave. Religion is really cruel isnt it...
@@TheberryY I am scared to even ask my mom that. But I know its gonna be the same for me too. I just hope you know it isn't our fault for leaving any religion. Finding a community of people who are similar to me helped me quite a bit. Its strangely comforting to know that I am not the only one who left Islam and that its okay to leave Islam or any religion.
@@zale8829 i hope once your grown you can live your life the way you want it to be, i wanna help people and give donation to country in need, i was upset by the earthquake in syria and turkey (mostly syria since that is where i came from i live in riyadh which is hell) also.
yeah people who are simliar to me is actually is comforting, it did help me too.
I hope when i grow up i hope i can live the way i want. Im glad im not the only one who isnt ex muslim.
this is hard but i REALLY need someone to talk to. i like girls, but sometimes i feel guilty. i get really really scared and really confused and then my heart starts hurting as i fear the thought of hell. and i cant tell anyone because the last time i told the truth, i got lots of things taken away. and i think to myself “never again”. i really wish this wasn’t real. because maybe i’d be able to like girls freely without fearing i’d burn for eternity.
hey, as a muslim lesbian, i'm here for you, i relate a lot to what you say but i wanted to tell you that it does get better, i'm happy now, and I'm accepting myself, i'm here if you want to talk, i can even give you the link of my social media if you need somebody to listen to you, you're amazing, beautiful, strong and loved, wish you all the best
hey, if god is truly loving, then he won't send you to hell for love. that just doesn't make sense.
@@ninaandsimone3854 thank you, my parents recently found out about my attraction to girls and i havent been doing well. seeing this made me feel better 💞💞
@@SpikeyBagel im starting to explore different religions to see which fits me best, i realized christianity made my mental health drop. leaving christianity felt like leaving a toxic relationship. thanks for your reply 💞💞💞
@@eli-kh7bk omggg ireally hope it will get better, i'm here if you need to talk (i can give you my social media or something like that if you need it) please remember that you're beautiful and strong and loved and that we care for you, i promise things will get better soon, it always does
I’m crying so hard rn I don’t want god to hate I don’t want to go to hell but Im a lesbian and I don’t wanna hide it
Same 😔😔
Personally, I feel like God has a reason for every situation and every feeling. Obviously, you're meant to feel this way. You're loved don't forget that ♡
This is the best playlist I've ever heard!!! Every single song fits perfectly and hits super deep. As a queer kid who grew up christian thank you so much for this video
I am Muslim and lately I have been questioning my sexuality as bi but then I love god I don’t want to be a sinner so I decided to keep it in me until the end and never sin and hope god will help me an show me where to go but it hurts so much because I love a girl and wish to be with her so I hope when I go to heaven I can be with her🙁🙁
Oh God..that sounds so awfully painful. How are you 7 months later?
The first song especially hit hard for me. Even before I figured out I was biromantic with a lean more towards more feminine people I had been questioning things since I was around 10 or 11 years old. I remember asking what would happen to all of the people who had never heard about God but were objectively good people. They would still go to heaven right? Later on I wondered people who were kind who believed in other denominations, religions, or none at all. We're they not being saved just because they didn't believe the right thing? What about children or babies that died young and never got to make that sort of decision? My mom replied saying it depended on what their parents believed. That didn't sit right with me even back then.
This was later cemented when I met my best friend. She doesn't believe in any particular religion and she is the sweetest and kindest person I've ever met. The thought that she wouldn't go to heaven according to these rules baffled me when I thought about it properly later on.
I remember questioning when the Bible said we could only be truly good through when we let the Holy Spirit into our hearts. That we needed to be made new and born again. That it would happen for real when we went to heaven during the end times. It made me wonder, if removing all of our imperfections, even the minor ones would end up making us all just mostly the same. Sure being or prone to bouts of anger or violence are definitely not good things and should be worked on, but small things like being sarcastic or just a bit lazy or irritable sometimes. Would our range of emotions just no longer be available to us, or would we all just collectively know to not express it.
Would we remember all of the people we knew on Earth that didn't make it? Would we miss them? Would we forget them altogether? My mother answered that question saying that we would be so happy in heaven that we wouldn't think about that sort of thing.
The more questions my child self asked, the more things didn't make sense to me or didn't sound all that appealing to me.
Then I fell for the girl I mentioned ( I was 13 almost 14) as my best friend earlier. I was terrified...
I had been lurking around the LGBTQ+ community at that point just observing. I hadn't considered myself a part of it until then.
At this point my mom had told me two years earlier that girls liking girls and boys liking boys was sinful. This had also confused me back then ( I was 11 when she told me). Why was it sinful? I understood why things like lying, stealing, killing, and not honoring your parents was bad, but this sudden new rule didn't make sense to me. Then I learned just how many other rules there were in Leviticus. Some were somewhat logical or made sense given the historical context, others seemed just pointless or weird.
Anyways it was at that point where I questioned whether I would even be allowed in church anymore, did I even want to go considering how toxic it was starting to feel as the years passed. Unfortunately, I can't really separate from it at least for a little while until I move out. So it's waiting until I graduate college then.
😂😂😂 LOSER!! 🤣🤣
im a lesbian raised christian i never really believed in Christ nor did i god (i did enjoy the coloring Sunday school) but now that im older i tried having a relationship with god i tried so so hard, byt either way I had these "sinful" thoughts, i feel like somethings wrong with me ive tried repentance but all its ever made me do was increase my intrusive thoughts when in a religous area
i had an anxiety attack when i was in 7th grade at a field trip, it was at a church, i felt so unwelcomed there, i couldn't breathe and i had a breakdown, it felt so embarrassing, i was so scared whether my parents would find out or not. but the thing is that confused was that ive never reacted that way whenever I was at church, ever since then i get really intrusive self harming thoughts any time i was going to church. i want to tell my parents that i dont want to attend church but im absolutely terrified
A good song on the more positive side of religion and queerness is "Hell Together" by David Archuleta
Aha venting below (sorry)
I'm lucky enough to be in an accepting household, but my parents are divorced and my dad who I thankfully don't live with) is super religious. He would always take me and my sisters to mass every Sunday (the only day we saw him) and I've associated religion with him, and when I'm around him I am the opposite of myself. I feel like God only loves the 'me' I am, or was, around my dad when we were at mass, and that 'me' is a lie. My dad moved farther away so I see him less and he doesn't take us to church anymore, but I feel like if I walked into one I would burn to ash. Both my sisters are 18 now, but I'm the youngest and he still has half custody of me. If he were to find out I'm trans he could have the power to send me to a conversion camp, but my Mom supports me and says she won't let him do that, but we can't let him find out in the first place. So I'll have to lie to him until I'm old enough that he won't have power over me. It's like I'm hiding from both him and God. sometimes I feel like my existence is a sin, but I know if I tried to pretend to be cis that would be an even bigger lie, as well as probably pretty self-destructing.
Never be sorry for venting ..
yeah no im fine now dw guys got better
Songs I’d Put on a “Queer Christian with Religious Trauma” Playlist:
Jesus (the punk) from Texas - Semler
You’re Not My Friend - Semler
Raise Up -Semler
Thank God for That - Semler
Promised Land - Semler
Hallelujah- Semler
Good Man - Semler
Don’t Tell Anyone - Semler
Outro- Semler
Prodigal Girl - Semler
TobyMac - Semler
Gotta Get Outta Here- Reliant K
Can’t Go Back - Trey Pearson
I Can’t Make You Love Me - Trey Pearson
Don’t Dance - Trey Pearson
Hey Jesus - Trey Pearson
Holy Water - Noah Davis
God Loves Me Too - Brian Falduto
House of God - Mōzi
All Belong Here - The Many
Come As You Are - The Many
Pray It Away - Alex G
Revolutionary - Josh Wilson
Native Tongue - Switchfoot
Praying - Kesha
You’re Not Welcome Here - Neathan Apollo
ur gonna wish you believed me - Cavetown
If I made the playlist, I’d mix em up. Most are about queer Christians specifically. Some are just worship songs that feel queer (like how Reliant K is the only Christian band I know is affirming). Some are fighting songs that feel like the anger of a queer Christian with religious trauma.
My family isn’t homophobic… but they want me yo be straight…
it doesn’t help that I’m trans…
They want me to be the perfect, straight, girl who will grow up and have a family.
That’s not what I wantz
Okay, the raging on a sunday song is lowkey a bop
I was raised Christian. I’m lgbtq, my parents are generally concerned about surgery (I’m trans, forgot to say that.) But, I don’t want surgery. I just want my hair cut and a binder too. My grandparents have a transgender friend, but don’t respect her pronouns. Like I get that it’s weird, and probably confusing, but I just respect everything that hurts nothing in any way. Just respect people for who they are.
Venting because I know nobody knows who I am
I always grew up Christian. I knew I loved Jesus and even read the Bible or talked to him at night. I just thought it was about being happy and kind to others so I loved it. Then, I started having some bad experiences.
1. When I was 7/8, my dad wouldn’t let me watch any Disney movie with magic in it because they were “mocking God” I was devastated because I didn’t want to let God down but Disney was my favorite. I couldn’t even watch Jessie because in ONE EPISODE they said “death spell” it made me so upset.
2. My school had a thing for Halloween where we would learn dances to popular songs. One was by Katy Perry. When my dad heard about this, he said I couldn’t listen to her anymore because “she’s a devil follower and kisses girls” it made me upset. Same thing happened with Nicki Minaj and Rihanna.
3. When I was 9 I had a friend who said she was bisexual. I didn’t think anything of it and treated her the same (like any decent human would) and when my aunt found out she got so scared. She said “don’t talk to her because she could try and do something to you” like huh? We were 9 and all she did was have a crush on a girl. Same thing happened when I was 11.
3. I started having a crush on a girl when I was 12. She was really sweet. But since my brother went to the school, I couldn’t risk my dad finding out. So I kept them secret. Then I ended up breaking a boys heart because I needed to figure it out. Still feel bad about it but then again I was 12.
4. At 13, my feelings grew stronger despite the fact that i haven’t talked to her since we went into quarantine. In November we started talking again and it was the best moment ever. We started a relationship a week later it was the happiest I’ve ever been.
5. Beginning of 2021 my dad found out. He made me delete Snapchat and started checking my phone often. One night he yelled at me and it got so bad I was planning on hurting myself.
6. My aunt told me that she or my dad wouldn’t want anything to do with me if I married a girl. That hurt. So one night (I regret this with all my heart) I prayed that I would fall in love with a boy. Beginning of 9th grade it happened but I was still with the girl. I ended up breaking her heart and pushed her away. We stopped talking until February. We caught up with each other and told each other we were in new relationships. It was nice, but didn’t feel right. For one, my bf SUCKED. Left me on read but was quick to text my best friends 😐. I realized I made the biggest mistake and it was all my fault. I felt terrible for months.
I almost ended it, but I was able to talk to my English teacher. I told her everything. She reassured me that I am who I am and honestly made me feel more loved than my dads side of the family ever did. I’m convinced she saved my life and she will always have a special place in my heart. I’m better now, I have a more spiritual connection with what I believe in and it’s making me feel better. I just want to tell my dad but idk how.
Something happened to me similar to your story. I'm glad that you found someone to tell your issues to :) Gives me hope that I might find someone who understands and doesnt call me a sinner lol. I hope all goes well for you.
@imagica kinda struggling with it but I still do feel like I believe in God, I just don’t know if i wanna follow a religion that has rules and things like that. I try to be a good person so sometimes I feel like you should just love everyone but honestly I’m not sure yet. I guess you could say I’m spiritual.
Thank you for this, my mom thought I was possessed by a demon cause I was misbehaving and having mental break downs I had anxiety and depression and still do, but not really depression I was just so lost and numb, I didn’t know what to do with myself and I would always beg to God to make my mom stop always acting like I was possessed and even scared me and my brother so much from having us in pitch black darkness and pinned us down talking to the “demons” inside of us when it was just us bearing all the trauma we had already had inside of us. My mom had trauma, so I’m not fully blaming her for ours. I’m not gonna get into all of our trauma nor hers. But I’m still here still believing 🤍 and I’m also happily bisexual and have a girl friend, and I’ve asked God and he has accepted me as who I am. Godbless everyone who is and isn’t reading this wether you are or aren’t Christian
POV; you finally graduated after years of Catholic schooling to didn’t think you’d make it through
Thanks for put Travis in it
I'm a nonbinary aro (current label, still figuring it out), agnostic/atheist, mentally ill/just f*ed up in general being who's grown up in a Christian home. It's a struggle, I can't come out safely to anyone in my family ever, financially I'm trapped for now, and all in all it's just really hard. The songs are a nice little escape though, at first I was kinda ehhh with them still being somewhat religious but they're actually alright. About half way through and only had to skip one so far for personal reasons. ♡♡♡
Not me listening to this as I write my religious trauma book series.
the church hurt me in so many ways that I feel like i can't talk about
I appreciate that Travis is the photo for this Playlist, because the title defines him as a person
I was raised Christian, and I am still a Christian to this day. I don’t like labeling myself but if I had to explain, the easiest way to explain myself is a bi (leaning towards lesbian) grey-romantic girlflux or genderfluid person. I have only had one male crush my whole life. He’s an actor. I told my friends because I wanted to fit in and seem normal (I’m not out), but now they and their parents tease me that I have a crush. It makes me want to not like him anymore because I feel embarrassed or that it’s something I should be ashamed for. Yet, he’s the only hope I have for not being rejected by my community if I come out. It’s hard to keep a crush I get teased for but if I can’t keep this up… I may never like a guy again, and as a Christian that’s my fear. Anyway, thank you for this Playlist. It makes me feel less alone to hear these songs and to read everyone’s beautiful stories ❤️❤️❤️
I'm very lucky because my parents are mostly accepting but the rest of my family isn't, nor is anyone including my church. I've not outed myself yet and I don't plan to but it still hurts how they go on about how I'm a sinner for being gay and tell me to punish myself and stuff like that. I'm glad I've not been put in a conversion vamp at this point but church is still making it so bad. I have gf and I feel so dirty and horrible being together because of this. Why can't I just live happily with them, why does God even care?
Warning: vent (it wasn’t going to be, but it turned into one.)
I’m looking for songs for a playlist about a character I like, but I’m wondering if there’s a possibility that I could have religious trauma. I have only realized recently that many of my experiences as a small child could be trauma. Those experiences are some of many that happened at the Catholic school I started going to in kindergarten. It goes from Pre-K to grade 8. I’ve experienced so much bullying and had a point when I was barely 9 where I got yelled at by my mom to take my sweater off because of how hot it was since it was 2 weeks before summer break. I remember the exact sweater. It was blue leopard print with little ears on the hood. It zipped up. I’ve gone through so much and I’m only realizing it now. I don’t know what else I’ll realize before I finally leave that school.
I live in a very religious area too and have since I was 7 or just after I turned 8. They aren’t just catholic. They’re evangelicals. Since moving there I have found out I have ADHD and autism, I’m lesbian and ace, and I’m a demigirl and demiagender and I use she/they pronouns. I stopped believing in God when I was 10 because I was scared I was going to h3ll for being gay. I have no friends here. I don’t know if I have religious trauma, though.
I think it’s only been recently that I’ve come to see I have religious trauma. When I tried to tell my youth pastor about my mental health and sh problems he essentially said good luck, gods testing you. He didn’t even seemed worried about the scars or my mental health. On top of that, they always say they have unconditional love, but if a gay person walked through the doors, there would be 5 seats on each side of him and maybe the stray person to tell him to leave. If they found you were gay they would forcefully out you. They say they do all this stuff and follow the word, but out in the world I don’t see it. They are the nice people but judge and/or force the word onto people. There’s more I could list, but it’s to much to type out. My mom still makes me go cause she’s conservative so I don’t want to have to fight her on me being gay and genderfluid. I can’t wait till I graduate high school and head to college so I don’t have to attend church anymore.
I know how it feels. I wish you luck and success in the future. One step closer to freedom!
My story is presented (enjoy, it gets crazy):
When i was 8 or 9 i started going to church. I loved it soooo much. I loved being christian because my entire family is christain. Not a single family member is not. One day i stopped believing in god or any god. I became atheist. I told my best friend at a sleepover and she told her family and her family told my family... My parents were shocked and my dad said i would work at McDonald's for the rest of my life and my great aunt and mom said im going to hell. I was grounded a few times bc i was atheist. No other reason except i didnt believe in god. My great aunt thought if she kept forcing me to go to church i would be fixed. I told her i did not like church bc people gave me dirty looks bc i dressed masculine. She forced me to go. Then she even made a pastor pray for me bc i "needed jesus". My bestfriend who told my family that i was atheist ditched me. My family was on her team and said "if i were her i would leave you too!" They tried to force us to be friends again bc she apologized. I moved back in with my mom and thought she would accept me as atheist and she indeed did not. Soooo yes i have way more but im to tired to type anymore if you want an update let me know.
my heart goes to queer muslims.
To everyone listening to this playlist, I want you to listen to what I have to say, just for a second:
I know that it’s hard right now.. you don’t feel accepted, you don’t feel like you can be yourself but just know, if you feel no one will ever love you, if you feel like no one is there to listen, if you feel as though you have no one to trust. I’m here. Here are some things I want you to remember:
-You are loved
-You’re accepted by me
-You don’t have to put on a show or mask
-You don’t have to pretend
-It’s okay to struggle but don’t let those struggles consume you
-It’s okay to feel your emotions
-You’re beautiful/handsome/stunning
-You matter.
I know it’s hard to listen to someone on the internet who you don’t know. So I’ll share with you my story…
Hi there… my name is Olliver and I also go by Ollie for short. I’m currently 16 years old. I’m bisexual and under the transgender umbrella. Im (AFAB) nonbinary but I also don’t mind masculine terms. I use they/he pronouns. I’m autistic and struggle with chronic pain, chronic fatigue and reoccurring major depressive disorder, general severe anxiety, and I struggle with hallucinations occasionally. I knew I wasn’t a girl since I was about 4-5 years old. I started developing feelings for my childhood best friend when I was only 6 years old. My parents and just my whole family in general, is very strongly religious (Christians). They would force me to go to church in hopes to change me out of who I was. I would cry and cry and pray for Jesus to change me, to make me “normal”. I was always normal. My feelings were normal. My parents would make me stop talking to people who were gay/trans because they thought that I would become that too. With everything that was going on, I was struggling with thoughts of unaliving myself and I was having struggles with self-harm. I would always be terrified of being forgotten by God if the rapture to happen. Im still terrified of the possibility of going to hell. I was scared that God would never love someone like me. I’ve had to learn to respect and accept myself and even today, I still struggle. My parents and family don’t still accept me, I’ll admit it. They would say that I was being influenced by the internet but I was still having those feelings before I had access to the internet. If you ever need a friend, someone to talk to, someone who will listen, please talk to me:
Instagram: crystal_pshyce
Snapchat: lionb0y_03
Discord: _pastel_03
I’m absolutely terrified of going to h3ll because I’m gay and trans but, I don’t think that would really considered religious trauma, but either way I heavily relate to this playlist
Not this playlist being accurate af 🥲
The first song had me crying 😭
I automatically clicked for Travis phelps
They made me hate myself because I'm not straight. But they still say that they love me, if they are so full of love why can't they accept that I don't like boys?
//It's not about my family, they are really good people, but so many Christians hurted me, and they still do. My life isn't a sin...
As someone with religious trauma that is still religious thank you
growing up with a hard christian family has ruined any chance of me getting into religion. i can't even hear about people praying for others without melting down. is there something wrong with me?
The Village is about being trans, not gay.
I meant ‘gay’ in the title as a more umbrella term for the LGBT+ community. (I considered using ‘queer’ but I was p sure TH-cam wouldn’t like that word)
@@azure-mist yeah TH-cam don’t like that
Yeah, but let’s be honest, how many of us in the comments are also trans/non-binary? Cause I’m pretty sure that it’s a lot
Coming here after getting told for an hour that I was going against god, and that I need to repent after cross dressing. My parents went on about it until I was crying so hard I could barely breathe, and then say that they’re trying their best to make me happy and they don’t understand why I’m depressed. Then they go out and talk about queer people like they’re lower than dirt in front of me, and ban me from even saying asexual since I’ve come out. They love me, but they’re so biased from their Christianity that they can’t see how it’s destroyed me over the years.
I'm sorry❤
I was raised to hate Christianity, as my mother has religious PTSD, but sometimes I still find myself on my knees beside my bed. Holding my hands so tightly together my knuckles turn white, praying to a god I know doesn't exist. Sometimes I wonder if He hates me, God. I'm a queer non binary kid who constantly laughs in His face. Why wouldn't He be?
But I think all the hateful Christians are wrong. If there is a god, and He created all of us, then why would he hate what he made with his own hands? It doesn't make sense.
TH-cam needs to stop calling me out in my recommended 💀
Semi-vent
I'm asexual panromantic and a demigirl. My sisters know but my parents do not. My family is extremely religious, as in we go to two churches every Sunday, and if you have anything else planned for Sunday morning it is cancelled, no matter the consequences. We pray before every meal and if you have to participate. Im not even that religious beacuse of the way religion was brought to me. I most afraid of coming out to my father. I am not quite sure of what my father's opinion on the LGBTQIA+ community, but from what I can get from his reaction to queer representation in media, he isn't welcoming them with open arms. I want to be, but I'm worried of what would happen.
Im listening to this on the day im going to get confirmed, im a trans bi kid, and im in the closet. No one is alone
Vent: I’m a Christian, Closeted bisexual.
But I want everyone think I’m Aro/ace or straight at any chance.
I’m having to deal with religious trauma and other traumatic things a pretty young age.
And I consider Travis (yes I kin Travis so don’t ask) like me
I’m scared cause I know 100% that my mother is homophobic but I’m unsure if my father is the only I know is that he makes fun of anything that has to do with LGBTQ+
Or anything that has to do with love.
I’m scared of what going to be ahead of me.
It’s around 7-9 pm and I’m listening to playlist like this,
The only that can cope my mental health problems
Vent : I hate saying that I don’t support LGBTQ And saying it’s a sin to all.
It hurts me and many others.
I wish I can just,
Let myself go, let me be who I want to be.
I don’t get how I can trust the internet than trust myself or a person I’m close too.
Anyhow, have a good day.
Bye bye.
POV: you're gay yet mccafferty is in this playlist 🙃
I don’t have trauma, but I just fell out of the belief. It’s hard to believe when you were taught to love everyone, but as you grow up you see your parents grow more and more full of hate. Seemed silly to me that Jesus said to love everyone, yet people who are in love with someone is a sin… I miss the days where I just went to church for fun and talk to my friends, sometimes about church and mostly about classic friends stuff. Now, I can’t even think about church without feeling bad for all these lovely people who were “sinners, and were going to hell”.
I believe to live your life, you only live once right? What if there is no heaven and I waisted my life, missing the actual joy in every moment because I forced myself because religion.
I have a religious family and they are very homophobic except for my mother and her side of the family, but I live with my dad and he and his side of the family is extremely homophobic, I still love him though, even if he screams at me and burns my lesbian pride flag....
I have a good song thats abt religious trauma, "rock in gods shoe" :3
Why am I even trying? Things are never going to change anyway. My parents will never accept me for who I truly am. Things are painful now, ngl
you'll learn to accept yourself. You'll find a reason to try, you just have to keep trying. Please don't give up :)
@@frog3009 thank you so much for this, it helps ❤️
I'm bisexual and poly in I don't know if my parents support me my mom and brother said it a sin cuz God only put one men and one women on earth, and my dad he doesn't support gay people...... but I support gay, trans, lesbian, and others😅and I'm only 13
Yes.
I told my mother that I like girls, I thought she would support me due to supporting her other gay friends. Instead, she told me I would go to hell. 🙃
💀
Man I love reading these losers comments thinking they are being cared.
Reminds me how normal I'm actually am 💪😎
I’m so sorry you experienced that. It must have been upsetting and heartbreaking to hear. Especially considering you thought you would get a positive response. You matter… you’re wonderful just who you are ♡
Has it gotten better or not?
Anyone else that had really bad dad issues but didn’t really have religious trauma and is gay
my parents always force me to go to church, but i hate it. they don’t understand that the majority of our church members are homophobic as hell and make homophobic jokes regularly, and it rlly hurts. they don’t understand cuz they’re straight and they force their ideals into me, but it hurts every single time. i hate sundays. i avoid church on purpose, but my parents don’t even wanna hear MY beliefs. i don’t think christianity is bad and i don’t mind going to church from time to time (some christian beliefs r good), but i feel like i’m being forced to b like them. they know i’m gay. they know how i am. and yet they treat me like i’m less than. i have never felt more homesick in a home that i know i can’t be myself in. it’s exhausting. i just wanna be accepted! i already accept myself, why can’t everybody else?
-
not only my parents upset me. my cousins (who i rlly do love) are extremely homophobic. i’m so conflicted. why must i prove my existence is GOOD? why should i try 100x harder than the average, straight person to be accepted? most of the content i consume has canon lgbtq rep. everything ab me is tightly connected to the lgbtq community.
Why is this me rn :v
does it get easier to handle? its been almost 3 years..
My name is sal.....but i kin travis
I am Christian, and gay, but I have no problem with the lord or the son or the holy spirit it's the religion that I hate with almost all of the guts. Short I know but there isn't much to it
PELASE do a t ra n s one
Damn. This playlist cuts deep. Trans man here ftm.
I went to a pretty... Opinionated church. The pastor specifically didn't like me, and would hold me back in Sunday school, I was taking bible study classes with kids 4-6 years younger than me, and when my mom finally convinced him to let me go to confirmation class I lasted 3 classes before getting kicked out. What did I do? Not believe, and I had my own arguments, but I didn't bother the class, I just didn't do the work. He said "if you don't want to be here you can leave"... I couldn't, my parents and grandma wouldn't let me. The pastor hated me, his wife tried multiple times to pretty much brainwash me too, especially after I cut my hair because I was already dressing "like a boy" (jeans and a fucking flannel... 💀)
Also,
There was a very influential family in the community too, and they tried to make me go to their house on multiple occasions, the one time I did they brought me down to the basement and tried to get my mom and grandma to leave and come back the next day (a sleepover, one of their daughters was a year or two older than me)... I still don't get good vibes from either of them, homeschooling their kids, no phones until they were 16 and it was flip phones until they were 18, friends had to be approved of and their parents had to be met, their kids never really looked right, they participated in everything but they always had a weird look on their faces, and their son kinda disappeared the minute he turned 19. Makes me wonder what they woulda tried if my mom had left me there alone.
Anyway, I don't go to that church, or any church anymore, but my fam still pushes it on me. I'm gay and trans too lol 💅
I am a muslim. I am thinking of putting aside my transition aside. I know I’ll live and die unhappy. But religion is important. I wish I could have been both. I wish it could have been both
GODDAMNIT IM A KINNIE....
oh hot
(Vent) Anyone else have some of the most hypocritical parents?
No you're just delusional and you want to act that you're special
Luckily you will realize that when you're older and you will apologize to your parents for thinking that they are something they aren't
@@MeowMuch-rm4kk you dont know their parents, maybe when your older you can respect people.
Im asexual andam i delusional for disliking sex? No, because im not seeing anything that im not supposed to see.
@@TheberryY trust me you will get that sex drive some day when you're older
@@MeowMuch-rm4kk being ace is not about having no sex drive its about having little to no attraction towards sex
i was born and raised in a muslim household; the idea, since i could think, has always been wrong to me. over the years, it's festered and festered---finally, i have a concrete basis to say this on.
religion is wrong.
no, I'm not saying all people who follow religion are wrong; I'm not saying beliefs are invalid; i'm not saying you're wrong for believing in god; I'm not saying anything like that. I'm saying that the idea that you should raise your child since birth to follow a set belief is incorrect. if you _choose_ to believe in something, that's great, but many people don't get that privilege. following our parents blindly from birth? shit.
told you won't be accepted for shit you can't control when god is supposed to love us regardless of our differences (ie; being gay)? fucking pathetic.
being forced to cover your differences (ie; neurodivergency) and bullied for things _out of your control_ by the community that's supposed to support you, and then retroactively being told _you_ are in the wrong for committing sins out of your control? hypocritical and pathetic.
we are raised to be slaves.
and us, as slaves, aren't allowed to be gay.
Recommendation dear god by XTC
who else here grew up mormon?
Hello, I know that no one will read my story, if it is ?, But here I am, i'm bisexual, and maybe non binary, still questionning myself about that, but not sure i'm a girl, being called she doesn't bother me at all, but being called they or he neither, they maybe feels more right for me i dunno ?, But i was raised as muslim, and god this isn't fit for me, yes i wasn't really "raised", i never read the Quran, and i pray only a few times, but religions was always a burden for me, even if i didn't practice, at least islam, i did read one or two page of the Quranbjt didn't really like it, i'm not an atheist but not monotheist, i know that, still questionning too about that haha, and yet, even if i wasn't properly raised as muslim, this religion makes ma feel weird, i don't like it, it made me quesions, but all this made me do is cry, cry and cry and cry, why, why does it making me feel so bad ? So i serched things about religions, and it can be beautiful yes, but not for me, i hate it. And yet i have such a big internalised homophobia, it makes me cry, i know it's normal for me but in the same time i don't know, i'm scared. I came out to my mom at 13 years old, she accept me but told me to not tell it to protect me, and i'm grateful because it would have been terrible in my community, i won't came out to my dad, he's homophobic and i'm scared, i'm so scared and quesionnong that i wanna die, i'm scared. So it there's any muslim part of the lgbtqia+ comunity who could talk about their personnal experience to me ? Of it doesn't bother them of course, thank you thank you so much, and if you are Shiite and part of the "cozas" community, thanks you too and we are together, i love you all (i'm french between) ❤️❤️❤️
you ever feel like youre in a family that worships a God that absolutely hates you?