Ingrid, what you are experiencing is nothing to feel ashamed about. Your emotional reservoir is as vast and deep as your reservoir of knowledge. Just as you feel the need to share this accumulated information with the hope of making this world a better place, so to must this happen when you are overwhelmed with/by your emotions. Much like a dam on a river or lake that’s in danger of overflowing its banks, sometimes floodgates need to be opened as a protective measure. Your body is reacting/responding to something overwhelming and it is trying to do the same thing by shutting down certain operating systems to focus on others which require immediate attention. Floodgates are opened so all those welled up thoughts, feelings, and emotions can spill out so that the body can recover, recalibrate, and return to normal functioning. I think that because you feel things so intensely, situations that ordinarily might elicit a more subtle response in someone else instead cause you to feel an incredible seismic shift to your mind, body, and spirit. Ingrid, you are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. When was the last time you watched the very first video you posted on this TH-cam channel from 10 years ago? Remember her? Look how far you’ve come since then and what you’ve been able to accomplish…all on your own! In times like these, it’s good to allow yourself(and others) a bit of grace and compassion: you deserve and owe yourself that much. Try not to fret too much over things that haven’t gone according to plan. Trips to Japan and Scotland, coming out to your parents, obtaining a drivers license, etc…all of these things will happen because you will make them happen and they will happen when the time is right for you! It’s great that you take everyone else’s feelings into consideration but eventually you must learn to live life on your own terms. I believe in you. When you learn to believe in yourself and what you’re truly capable of then all of the pieces will fall into place. I promise.😊 I feel better knowing you are home and someplace safe while this is happening. Please try and give your troubled thoughts and soul a good rest. 💙🌈
You do a really good job of describing this. Thank you for sharing as it will help others. I hope you can get the rest/restoration you need to move through this.
I am so sorry to hear how bad you feel :( But your problems are really understandable and nothing to judge yourself for. You need some time for yourself, and you are kind to your family, and it is great that you take their wishes into account, but kindness works better when you have the energy for it (that is, if you have the surplus to share). Every person has a different amount of it in different settings and circumstances. And if the world and your surroundings (or certain aspects of these) drain you, you naturally have the need to recover and recharge to be open to interaction with others (or to some actions like planning that may be confusing and terrifying because there is so much to consider). You can't spend energy on others if you don't have it. Please don't think badly about yourself in such moments and just give yourself the (mental) right to take care of your needs, even if that means postponing certain plans for a little while and taking a break from what causes stress and can't be decided upon at the moment. (Sorry if it sounds a bit too personal or straightforward). Also, there is nothing wrong with being distressed from something that triggers you personally and crying as much as you need to relieve the tension, in my opinion. Crying and feeling something is so much better than feeling nothing. I think it is important that you talk about your experience. I hope you will feel much better soon!
@@soupricat5572 thank you so much for this comment, it really helped me get through the week. I will try to do things in a sustainable way so i give the right amount of energy. I'm going to try to relax this weekend 😊
❤ i go through this as well... i cant be creative when im like that, i want to just lay down all day but laying down makes it worse... and then talking to others is literally hard to do cause iis hard to even form the words.
Ahh I am so sorry, Ingrid. :( I think you are in a pretty bad negative spiral that is caused by much more than just the planning. Give yourself some rest, sleep well, and when you can, take it only little step by little step. This makes such plannings more doable and less intimidating. And btw, if it helps, plannings are sometimes way harder to execute properly than they seem at first glance for all of us! The various factors simply make it difficult and in a bad state of mind it can be too overwhelming. Don't beat yourself up over it. It's not only you who struggles with the execution of plannings. :)
I don't think you are failing the exercise. Most likely the point of the exercise is to gain some information about yourself and wisdom. It happens even if you don't accomplish your original goals. Try not to feel shame. It's kind of like extra layer of emotion that takes your attention away from your more relevant feelings. (I'm autistic too)
@@flowerchasethesunshine9063 hmm interesting, thank you! 🙂 maybe the learning happens whether i reach the goal or not and what's important is the trying 😊
Hello Ingrid, I'm sorry, I hope you will feel better soon. I read the description, you are not dumb and I don't think you are selfish. I understand that the the news you got from your friend can affect you so you had a shutdown. Honestly I'm somehow lonely as I don't really have someone with whom I can spend summer, I wished that somehow I lived in Sweden or some near country I could have visited you ( if you don't mind of course) maybe the only thing I can provide is that if you somehow come to France you are always welcome to pass by. Also you can write to me about whatever you like if that may help you. Well if you allow me to say ' you are already pleasant to me ' and I assure you I'm not sugar-coating, I do really mean what I say. Just to let you know I've never planned a vacation and maybe I won't able to do it. I understand that you want to plan a vacation to detach yourself from your parents wants. I only can say try to be gentle with yourself. Oh no! You are not useless!! Please don't say that. How can a doctor be useless? Maybe now you cannot take tickets because you are feeling exhausted but you are going to work and you are helping patients and that by itself can be a huge thing! I know you don't look for advice and it's not what this comment is about. I understand about taking others into account... I've lived this situation many times... I can't say I understand shutdown but I think you are who you are with your own struggles. I only know I am a weird person and try to respect each person struggles especially if they are kind and genuine which is the case for you. Whatever is going to happen Ingrid whether you go on vacation somewhere or not, you are the same person that I know who is definitely not useless, not selfish. Take care dear friend 😊 PS: there's always a weirdo willing to watch these videos :)
@@sicparvismagna1294 thank you so much, I'm happy you accept me for who i am 💙 Yeah i wish we could meet up :/ i hope to be as open minded as you are someday, i sometimes feel like my rigid way of seeing things can be quite damaging, but I'm trying to slowly get out of that.
I think I would shut down in your situation and mindset as well. Maybe a staycation is just what you need. You're kind of reminding me of another TH-camr, Alisa Chung, who recently had a mental breakdown. She was living out on her own as well trying to deal with all the stresses of our somewhat dystopian society. Now she's back living with her grandparents recuperating, doing things she likes, painting pictures in a canoe etc. Seriously, the mindset and lifestyle this world pushes on you is unhealthy. The powers that be are literally trying to suck as much life force out of us as they can get.
@@Chrisbi-Wan thanks but the whole point of this trip was to do something separate from my parents to learn independence. My goal is not to move with them.
Ingrid, what you are experiencing is nothing to feel ashamed about. Your emotional reservoir is as vast and deep as your reservoir of knowledge. Just as you feel the need to share this accumulated information with the hope of making this world a better place, so to must this happen when you are overwhelmed with/by your emotions. Much like a dam on a river or lake that’s in danger of overflowing its banks, sometimes floodgates need to be opened as a protective measure. Your body is reacting/responding to something overwhelming and it is trying to do the same thing by shutting down certain operating systems to focus on others which require immediate attention. Floodgates are opened so all those welled up thoughts, feelings, and emotions can spill out so that the body can recover, recalibrate, and return to normal functioning.
I think that because you feel things so intensely, situations that ordinarily might elicit a more subtle response in someone else instead cause you to feel an incredible seismic shift to your mind, body, and spirit.
Ingrid, you are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. When was the last time you watched the very first video you posted on this TH-cam channel from 10 years ago? Remember her? Look how far you’ve come since then and what you’ve been able to accomplish…all on your own! In times like these, it’s good to allow yourself(and others) a bit of grace and compassion: you deserve and owe yourself that much.
Try not to fret too much over things that haven’t gone according to plan. Trips to Japan and Scotland, coming out to your parents, obtaining a drivers license, etc…all of these things will happen because you will make them happen and they will happen when the time is right for you! It’s great that you take everyone else’s feelings into consideration but eventually you must learn to live life on your own terms. I believe in you. When you learn to believe in yourself and what you’re truly capable of then all of the pieces will fall into place. I promise.😊
I feel better knowing you are home and someplace safe while this is happening. Please try and give your troubled thoughts and soul a good rest.
💙🌈
@VanLykke72 thank you for your thoughtful and kind comment 😊 I'm feeling better now, but i will try to remember what you said here for the future 😊
You do a really good job of describing this. Thank you for sharing as it will help others. I hope you can get the rest/restoration you need to move through this.
@@ninabrownsilberman7919 thank you! 😊
I am so sorry to hear how bad you feel :( But your problems are really understandable and nothing to judge yourself for. You need some time for yourself, and you are kind to your family, and it is great that you take their wishes into account, but kindness works better when you have the energy for it (that is, if you have the surplus to share). Every person has a different amount of it in different settings and circumstances. And if the world and your surroundings (or certain aspects of these) drain you, you naturally have the need to recover and recharge to be open to interaction with others (or to some actions like planning that may be confusing and terrifying because there is so much to consider). You can't spend energy on others if you don't have it. Please don't think badly about yourself in such moments and just give yourself the (mental) right to take care of your needs, even if that means postponing certain plans for a little while and taking a break from what causes stress and can't be decided upon at the moment. (Sorry if it sounds a bit too personal or straightforward). Also, there is nothing wrong with being distressed from something that triggers you personally and crying as much as you need to relieve the tension, in my opinion. Crying and feeling something is so much better than feeling nothing. I think it is important that you talk about your experience. I hope you will feel much better soon!
@@soupricat5572 thank you so much for this comment, it really helped me get through the week. I will try to do things in a sustainable way so i give the right amount of energy. I'm going to try to relax this weekend 😊
This, too, shall pass. I hope that you had a good sleep and are feeling better by the time you read this.
@@dulles1969 thank you, yes I'm feeling better now 🙂
Hang in there. Feeling sad is normal. Just don't let it affect you negatively and try to do something fun...
@@steampunkstar_raisin thank you! 😊
❤ i go through this as well... i cant be creative when im like that, i want to just lay down all day but laying down makes it worse... and then talking to others is literally hard to do cause iis hard to even form the words.
@@Amber-nm5pn aw I'm sorry, that is a tough mental and emotional place
Ahh I am so sorry, Ingrid. :( I think you are in a pretty bad negative spiral that is caused by much more than just the planning.
Give yourself some rest, sleep well, and when you can, take it only little step by little step. This makes such plannings more doable and less intimidating. And btw, if it helps, plannings are sometimes way harder to execute properly than they seem at first glance for all of us! The various factors simply make it difficult and in a bad state of mind it can be too overwhelming. Don't beat yourself up over it. It's not only you who struggles with the execution of plannings. :)
@@nerdexproject thanks! Yes i am better after some rest. I'm going to try to be nicer to myself about the planning 🙂
I don't think you are failing the exercise. Most likely the point of the exercise is to gain some information about yourself and wisdom. It happens even if you don't accomplish your original goals.
Try not to feel shame. It's kind of like extra layer of emotion that takes your attention away from your more relevant feelings. (I'm autistic too)
@@flowerchasethesunshine9063 hmm interesting, thank you! 🙂 maybe the learning happens whether i reach the goal or not and what's important is the trying 😊
Hello Ingrid,
I'm sorry, I hope you will feel better soon.
I read the description, you are not dumb and I don't think you are selfish.
I understand that the the news you got from your friend can affect you so you had a shutdown. Honestly I'm somehow lonely as I don't really have someone with whom I can spend summer, I wished that somehow I lived in Sweden or some near country I could have visited you ( if you don't mind of course) maybe the only thing I can provide is that if you somehow come to France you are always welcome to pass by. Also you can write to me about whatever you like if that may help you.
Well if you allow me to say ' you are already pleasant to me ' and I assure you I'm not sugar-coating, I do really mean what I say.
Just to let you know I've never planned a vacation and maybe I won't able to do it. I understand that you want to plan a vacation to detach yourself from your parents wants. I only can say try to be gentle with yourself.
Oh no! You are not useless!! Please don't say that. How can a doctor be useless? Maybe now you cannot take tickets because you are feeling exhausted but you are going to work and you are helping patients and that by itself can be a huge thing!
I know you don't look for advice and it's not what this comment is about.
I understand about taking others into account... I've lived this situation many times...
I can't say I understand shutdown but I think you are who you are with your own struggles. I only know I am a weird person and try to respect each person struggles especially if they are kind and genuine which is the case for you.
Whatever is going to happen Ingrid whether you go on vacation somewhere or not, you are the same person that I know who is definitely not useless, not selfish.
Take care dear friend 😊
PS: there's always a weirdo willing to watch these videos :)
@@sicparvismagna1294 thank you so much, I'm happy you accept me for who i am 💙 Yeah i wish we could meet up :/ i hope to be as open minded as you are someday, i sometimes feel like my rigid way of seeing things can be quite damaging, but I'm trying to slowly get out of that.
Hang in there ❤
@@paunesjourney hi thanks for watching and for the support! 😊
@@radishraven9 it seems you deleted the negative comment you got, which is what I would have done, too 👍 I don’t even try to respond tbh 😂
I think I would shut down in your situation and mindset as well. Maybe a staycation is just what you need. You're kind of reminding me of another TH-camr, Alisa Chung, who recently had a mental breakdown. She was living out on her own as well trying to deal with all the stresses of our somewhat dystopian society. Now she's back living with her grandparents recuperating, doing things she likes, painting pictures in a canoe etc. Seriously, the mindset and lifestyle this world pushes on you is unhealthy. The powers that be are literally trying to suck as much life force out of us as they can get.
@@Chrisbi-Wan thanks but the whole point of this trip was to do something separate from my parents to learn independence. My goal is not to move with them.