Emotional Affairs And Texting | What To Do When Your Partner Is Texting Someone Else
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มี.ค. 2020
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Hello and welcome to Happily Committed. My name is Coach Adrian. If you're watching this video you're probably going through a very tough time because your significant other may be or may have been emotionally cheating on you. It's very difficult to move past this type of behavior because trust is broken. If your partner has had an emotional affair through texts and you don't know what to do, if you should forgive them, if you should just move past this or not, you're watching the right video. Sometimes love can be messy.
Take a step back and try to understand the reason why your partner may have felt this need to connect emotionally with someone else. Did you become complacent? Did you neglect your significant other? Are they yearning and striving for attention that they are not getting in your marriage or in your relationship? Or did you completely lose yourself? Are you not in a position where you can attract and inspire your significant other because your focus is elsewhere or because you're dealing with other issues in your life? It's important to not just put all the blame on your significant other because if you do you will alienate them. You will not create enough an environment by which they can grow and they can rebuild a new relationship with you. It's difficult because you're tempted to go back and try to understand and analyze everything that went on. You want to read the words that you found or you just want to make sure that you punish them for what they've done.
But that's not the solution. Constantly living in the past or reliving the painful separation that you may have gone through or basically trying to really understand what was said and in that moment and in those interactions is only going to create havoc. Your ego is hurt and you're trying in some ways to soothe that hurt but in the wrong way. The best thing that you can do is try to communicate with your significant other about what their needs actually are, about what went wrong. Are they remorseful or not? If they are remorseful it is your responsibility to try to work with them. It's difficult to just forgive overnight but you have to commit yourself to forgiving them in order to create a new and improved relationship together. If they are not remorseful and they don't want to work on the marriage then you need to ask yourself if this is something that you still want to fight for alone.
We made our living basically helping people who were facing the prospects of a separation and on Love Advice TV we have over a thousand videos of people who are in this type of situation. You need to make sure that you are fighting the good fight, meaning that you're not trying to save this relationship out of fear, desperation, anger but because you truly believe that you can build something greater and better. That you believe that you guys are still compatible and that you can make it work.
If you're dealing with the prospect of an emotional affair that happened through texts I have a lot of empathy and compassion for you because it's not easy, but you can bounce back. I see people who bounce back all the time and the reality is that relationships are hard. Sometimes things get stale and after a while the grass may seem greener. It's a lot easier to succumb to this attraction and carnal desire and to turn to other people outside of your marriage when facing issues. This should be an alarm, this should tell you that things aren't right and that you need to work on addressing and fixing those issues.
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You forgot phone chatting addiction is like a drug addiction. Chatting comes first, everything else is forgotten, including your marriage
I dont buy that. Relationships a hard i agree but if it get boring etc most of the time it's because the unfaithful pulled away then blame the betrayed to justification their mess and twisted mindset
Worst position to be in. It will only works out if the person acknowledge their behavior and is wiling to work on changing period. If not it’s a waste of time and not healthy
This sounds like rationalizing and minimizing. Out of the many options to resolve issues in a relationship, a partner or spouse then CHOOSES the infidelity route. That is betrayal and the proposal to " try and understand why they cheated " is irrational. In a committed relationship, people talk, and if one has reached the point where they feel compelled to cheat, they should terminate the existing nonworking relationship and be with the new person where their heart now resides.
Married almost 44 years. I discovered his texting 4 years ago, actually, Facebook chatting. So I printed it all out, a year's worth! I told him to stop. It slowed down but he never actually stopped for the next 1.5 years when she finally put a stop to it. It totally changed my life. I'm really hoping I can find the courage to leave sometime this year. It's affected my health and I just can't feel peace or happiness anymore. I still cry everyday. I wish it had been a physical affair. I would have been gone. I'm old school with thinking Ive needed to stay and try. I need to leave or I think I'll die an early death. 😢
Strangely you used the words "move past this." That's exactly what my wife kept saying to me "can't we just move past this?" I said you can, I can't, at least not yet.
This is horrible advice to justify a cheating spouse. No way dude
So, the loyal partner is to blame for the acction of a cheater .... Cheaters must love you
My husband is texting at 3:00 am and then delete the messages. He tell me don't worry everything is fine. This behavior is new in our relationship and I cannot trust him anymore. I almost want out of the relationship. The only think that is holding me back is the we have children and I don't have proof that he is cheating. All I know is that he is texting with someone at 3:00am and he never did that before and he looks nervous whenever am around his phone. I feel like I shouldn't trust him at all, specially with my future.
Man the only thing to do is leave id she is entertaining other men she doesnt respect you amd once youve lost her respect the relationship will never work 🤷🏾🤷🏾🤷🏾
There is NEVER an excuse to cheat! Period!!
Going over those texts etc can actually be a trauma response… yes, they cause havoc, but expecting someone to be able to not do that after going through trauma is unrealistic
My opinion is there doesn't need to be anything dismal going on in the relationship. He's going to do it if he wants to do it.
What if you didn't know he was having an affair like this? Apparently my husband was doing this before we got together and married with the same woman and never broke it off. He has known her for 14 years and I just found out 3 weeks ago. I just don't understand, it feels like our entire relationship is a lie.
WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IF THE GIRL KNOWS HE IS MARRIED WHY DIES SHE TEXT MY HUSBAND WHEN SHE KNOWS HE IS MARRIED?
I honestly feel like I'm burning from the inside put. I'm so torn up from him texting with a coworker, and I saw her, she's deff prettier than me. They started talking when she apparently grabbed his phone and put her number in. I just feel like nauseous all the time and I can't even eat anymore. I wish I had emotional support but sadly he thinks it's no big deal
I found out that my Bf has been obsessed with his phone and always looking at it for notifications lites, then he went to Best Buy and got an SD card for MORE space on his phone for videos and pics, he made all these changes to his phone, and it all raised an eyebrow with me and my gut was telling me things that were hurtful, turns out that I was right all along, as of now he’s completely oblivious to my knowledge as to what he’s been doing, and I’m angry and hurt, I suppose going through quarantine brings out the ugliness in those why supposedly love you, what good is it to have someone physically if their heart and mind is with other women?
It's always someone else's fault for others bad character behavior 🙄
I feel for you beautiful! Hang in there there is somebody out there who would love us and only US! ❤️❤️ sending hugs !
I'm going through this same thing right now it has shattered my world,my husband decided to go down this road at a time when my health declining due to hyperthyroidism,I don't wish it on anyone