Should a Pastor Observe the Billy Graham Rule? | Pastor Well - Ep 51
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ต.ค. 2024
- Should a pastor ever allow himself to be alone with a woman? In this episode, Hershael York talks about shepherding women in the congregation by creating appropriate safeguards.
Hosted by pastor-scholar Hershael York, the Pastor Well Podcast offers a wellspring of wisdom from about the insights learned from a life of faithful ministry.
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This is counsel from a VERY wise man. I do try hard to follow this rule in my life
Great insights that apply to every Christian man, not just pastors. "Watch over your heart with all diligence..." Proverbs 4:23.
Honestly I think
Not only pastors, but any follower of Christ should be careful in this area
I think this is really great advice. I DO think the Billy Graham rule is really good whenever you can practice it. Sometimes it is literally impossible. Whenever possible, however, that should be the standard. Whenever it isn't, this advice should be followed.
No, it shouldn't, for men can full well "control" themselves around women. The "rule" is pure sexism and an insult to both men and women.
Spot on, Pastor. My wife and I do all of our counseling of women together. She is a marvelous compliment in this regard. I would add no private messages on social media! All questions by email, which are welcome, I cc my spouse.
YES!!! Raavi is a king example to that point.
"A Pastor should never be near that line." AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is such good advice. I had a career in Human Resources and had to have one-on-one contact too. Not even getting close to the line and glass on the door are very effective! Thank you.
I start listening to : PASTOR WELL, just a few weeks ago. Your words and spiritual posture deliver a timely message for all men , especially those of us in pastoral ministry. Thank you for being faithful.
This should be applied to married men and women in general…
Absolutely.
This is TOTALLY common sense !
Thank you for this series. Good stuff.
Hoping that the "Honest Answers" series on this channel will resume after a ~2yy hiatus! Really enjoy that too....
I really respect your opinion on how to counsel a woman as their paster .
I'm so thankful our church is growing our bibical counseling providing trained counselors for men and women.
Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
I am not a mother, and don't you dare treat me like I am one. I am a human being deserving of dignity and respect.
AMEN!!! Unfortunately where I'm at, certain churches don't respect those boundaries. One of the more well known churches in northern California had no sense of boundaries in this area unfortunately. The road to Heaven is narrow, even concerning people within the church leadership!!
The BG rule is an excellent rule of thumb for all of us. Not just pastors.
Far too many people have gotten themselves into trouble by not establishing boundaries.
Being “above reproach” is the best strategy.
Look at the recent high profile scandal with Matt Chandler for example.
Sheesh!
That’s a great idea to have glass on the door. What a nice solution.
Several years ago I worked in a large business and our offices were surrounded in glass. When I pastored I often included my wife when I spoke from the pulpit. It also allowed the people to love on my wife. I think it is more difficult to be a pastor's wife than it is to be the pastor.
Great insight. As a young pastor, I am already seeing the importance of recognizing and working through the authorities God has set up. I always try to contact the husband first, if exclusively, if it regards something on family, couples, etc.
In our culture, I think we could and should apply these principles to working with teens and children, too. I see youth pastors communicating a lot with their teens outside church functions, and I am not as comfortable with that, especially as one with public school teaching experience.
One question I have...hope someone has some additional insight: What might one do when there is a woman with an unbelieving husband when it comes to marital counseling? I definitely involve my wife, but how far should things go if the husband is unwilling to engage?
BINGO! Always ask her to bring her husband that solve 90 of the problems cz some come for counselling so as to seek emotional attention deliberately or otherwise.
On your question I do believe what you said is absolutely right the only question is HOW we engage the husband. If we do so in a loving and respectful way instead of being confrontational about it the husband may be more receptive. If not then there really isn't much you can do beside pray for him. In our African culture we would go a step further and involve the husband's family and they can actually summon him to address the issue.
Good word and counsel. The Billy Graham rule worked for him, but Graham was not a pastor, he was an evangelist - and those roles are different.
Yea but the ideas are the same. My pastor will not councel a women without his wife or someone else in leadership
That was a great answer. It's definitely more about creating an atmosphere of trust and intent more than anything else. It's not helpful to create blanket practices that separate people. It's only when people mistrust each other that you need those kinds of practices. If you can't have a counseling session (with anyone) with the door closed then it's not the door that needs to be removed:-)
You can't know what is in the other person's mind & heart. Dad was a pastor. A recently widowed woman was having a hard time after the lose of her husband and wanted attention from dad. When he refused she tried to start a rumor they'd been together. But no one believed her because dad always "kept the door open" and was never in a situation where he could've been with her.
@@jdougn2255 Trust goes both ways. If you think someone is going to cause issues then it makes sense to have someone else in the room. However if you make the exception the norm and people can't get the privacy they need to discuss their issues then they might be better off going to someone else. Ultimately though you need to do what works best for you and let people decide whether or not it works for them as well.
Wise advice...
Much good advice. But this is why female counselors can be useful in tandem with a Pastor. Hopefully that counselor is the Pastor’s wife.
The Bible said King David was a man after God's heart. It also said that King Solomon was the smartest man ever. It also talked about how strong Samson was. If you know their stories you know that women were the one that took them out of the path that the Lord had for them.
If you are a man in position of power or just love your wife and life, please be careful. Remember you are not smarter than Solomon.
I heard VP Mike Pence also used the rule when he was in office he is also an elder in the church. On the issue of counseling it is wise to have your wife with you or if not she needs to bring her husband with her. It is also better for counsellors to not be alone with a victim by themselves it protects both the counsellor and the individual in case accusations arise tomorrow. The glass doors are an absolute must for any church having them come over to your house can also create risks rather do it in a public place. Also safeguards can be made such as all those seeking counselling should go through the pastor's PA using business emails, phone etc so that there is accountability. Unless in case of an emergency or risk to life then meeting alone AND/OR during OR Outside of office hours is simply asking for trouble. Even if nothing happened you can still be set up by people with malicious motives. Personally I do not have female visitors to my place unless I am with someone and i don't pick up female passengers when driving by myself. What else? Add yours here
There are many issues here. I don’t think you can always avoid being alone with people, even women, but you can be aware of the dangers of not only your own conduct, but also the possibilities of being misinterpreted, or understanding that people come with emotional weaknesses (as well as our own) and of course the possibility of others seeking to be malicious. Much wisdom is needed about who we spend time with, how much time, where we meet with others, what is said, or in the case of women, training / encouraging women to minister & support women.
Sisters and mothers 2 Timothy 5:2
Nothing happens by accident: whether purity or immorality, both are premeditated.
Not only that but Pastors should not be alone with children either.
And there should be no private texting or messaging. I know a pastor that crosses that line all the time.
The Pastor is not “her shepherd” Her husband is her shepherd. 1 Cor 14:35 A pastor should be encouraging her to allow her christian husband to guide her. I had a pastor reck my good marriage because he doesn’t understand who is the one being out of step with the structure of a christian marriage because women have terrible discernment 1 Tim 2:14.
We have horrible problems in our christian marriages because of the bad teaching pastors and seminaries are feeding their sheep. Christian Marriages have order and it’s up to the Man and the Woman to not allow culture to define them.
I’m so mad at current teachings on this I could just spit.
@Trey Barnes, I agree mostly what you stated. But I think mostly the unmarried women would fit in that category. I know a woman from church who is a widow, and the pastor has sometimes help or counsel her. But he takes precautionary steps because of her vulnerable state.
@@hiddeninmyheart21 Titus 2 makes it clear the aged women have more to do with that role. It’s best Pastors have a limited engagement with the women in the church. wish we could understand what a mess we can make by not reading 1st and 2nd Tim and Titus. it’s really clear.
Completely agree. Temptations alone can distract Gods work. IT’s best to never be alone, texting or talking with anyone who can distract you from your mission. Counseling in private should be done with other’s presents and visible but not hearing private personal things.
"The Billy Graham rule"? 🤨 Did I miss something about Billy Graham's life? I've never heard of this phrase before...
His rule about being around women was that he was never alone with a woman, therefore he could never be accused of anything untoward because there were always witnesses.
Not enough of this taught in the church
Nope. This kind of mentality, especially in a work setting, is highly discriminatory against women.
I believe a pastor or any leader should be alone with a woman because you don’t know what the woman can say about you after. I believe there should always be a third person preferably the wife
🙏
Some of the ministers I have known in my life do not need to be counseling husbands and wives together or separately.
Apparently, the Movie Caligula is NOT an Option.
Living in a Box 📦
is NOT a 🗺️ World
the Holy Spirit created.
Jargon consists of 3 or more words
to explain a 1 word Answer.
Lol
😂
Ohhhh myyyyyyyyyyy
Jesus was alone with the woman at the well. Maybe Billy was hedging against a personal problem. Nothing wrong with that.
That was out in the open, and one of the first things Jesus said was, "go call your husband.". He was recognizing God's established order of authority, while simultaneously challenging the sinful woman to recognize the same.
Jesus was always the perfect example for us!
A well is a public station, think of a park
Billy Graham taught another gospel and was a 33* freemason......
Luke 16:15
15 And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.
Documentation...?
2 minutes in and we’re already saying it’s the women’s responsibility to know if a dude is being a creep. I don’t care if a woman walked into the pastors office in a string bikini, if he assaults her he is 100% the problem
oh boy
“A pastor and his ministry.” Organized religion is the worse thing that has happened in this world. We stepped so far away from the new covenant message it’s sad. The people have been left with figure heads that do not represent truth. Only a form of it convoluted in self interest.