Update: Turns out the staff of the defence platform had just replaced the coffee machine for a new upgraded model, the security council in currently in session to discuss what measures should be taken in response.
Fanatic Xenophobe councilor: We must use our Colossus & crack they’re worlds! We can’t lose our superior coffee making abilities to foreign powers.. {Bickering} Materialist councilor: We could impose minor economic sanctions on them and demand they allow Inspectors in to ensure that they aren’t selling coffee makers to third parties.. maybe even copy the designs.. {loud Bickering} Authoritarian Councilor: My fleet & armies stand ready to attack the defense station & acquire this coffee makers.. unfortunately I will have to invade neighboring systems to ensure control over the media..
@@FogelTheVogel I vote in favor of discussing these minor economic sanctions in the galactig community, despite this I'll will vote against them the minute the vote opens
@@FogelTheVogel I disagree! As Senator of Vol Prime i bring forth the proposal that we should form a committee to discuss the legal implication and if we should press for an galactica wide disarmament because of that clear act of an new armes race
Breaking: after the dissolution of the galactic custodian, 79 separate situations have appeared. It would appear every nation in the galaxy is simultaneously communicating about migration pacts and federations.
Notifications are so anxiety-inducing. It could be something like your main fleet is under attack by a new kind of bioweapon, or it could be something really scary like your coworker asking if you can help them move to a new apartment.
-Area Government struggles to locate source of catchy background music. -Private Colony Ship developed, offers complementary in-flight peanuts. -Local black hole just painted on. -Primitives launch plan for Observation Platform to observe Observation Platform. -Galactic focus calls for use of comedically large magnifying glass. -Tonight on Xenonion Invesitgates: Consumer Goods, or Consumer Bads? 2200 GST / 8805 SHRD -Doctors warn of risks regarding XL Laser Hair Removal. -Awakened Empire slept right through alarm.
@@Gstrangeman96 Maybe anti-piracy. Looked like an I at the end. Update: yup, the last frame had 'anti-' at the end. The world-cracker is on pirate-swatting duty.
Truly. The stress of handling such situations like completing a system survey or upgrading defense platforms are not for the faint of [Main Circulatory Organ]
My boss wasn't too happy I was watching the news instead of working but a quick explanation on this developing situation cleared up that misunderstanding
I imagine a creepy advisor lady sitting behind me while I’m at an important board meeting saying. Vessels have been refitted Vessels have been refitted Our vessels have been reinvigorated Our vessels have been reinvigorated Do all defense platforms at once in the year 3000 for the best experience.
I leverage my council power & declare a emergency session to vote on the naming of a Galactic Custodian! Cause everyone knows that only 1 person can solve 5 galactic spanning situations..
I feel like the white exclamation mark is usually vassal status change, from vaasl to protectorate and so on. When you build the super weapon, that's when the situation room look scary, 15 casuai bellis pop up at the same time
2:04 At that moment, on all channels, quadrillions of pops started screaming in near unison: *"Aaaargh! Quick, raid the supermarkets: stockpile all weapons and instant mashed-potatoes you can find! THE END TIMES ARE HERE!!!"*
Four things at once? The Galactic Community is absolutely doomed. I, however, am sure that the Custodian will emerge from these situations with even more Diplomatic Weight.
Man these videos are the toppest notch shitposts that even I can't compete with! I think I have a situation here concerning contractions of the diaphragm with unclear causes
I like to imagine leaders being _extremely_ egocentric or something. Because if there is any one thing that has absolutely _NO_ impact for my game in _ANY_ way, shape or form... It's that a scientist, governor or general "levelled up" - not even regarding any new traits, mind you
Update: Turns out the staff of the defence platform had just replaced the coffee machine for a new upgraded model, the security council in currently in session to discuss what measures should be taken in response.
There is no doubt, we should impose minor economic sanctions right away!
Fanatic Xenophobe councilor: We must use our Colossus & crack they’re worlds! We can’t lose our superior coffee making abilities to foreign powers..
{Bickering}
Materialist councilor: We could impose minor economic sanctions on them and demand they allow Inspectors in to ensure that they aren’t selling coffee makers to third parties.. maybe even copy the designs..
{loud Bickering}
Authoritarian Councilor: My fleet & armies stand ready to attack the defense station & acquire this coffee makers.. unfortunately I will have to invade neighboring systems to ensure control over the media..
@@FogelTheVogel I vote in favor of discussing these minor economic sanctions in the galactig community, despite this I'll will vote against them the minute the vote opens
@@FogelTheVogel I disagree! As Senator of Vol Prime i bring forth the proposal that we should form a committee to discuss the legal implication and if we should press for an galactica wide disarmament because of that clear act of an new armes race
We should pass comfort the fallen act
You'll get notified of EVERY SINGLE defense platform upgrade, but half the space battles won't show up there..
Right? You spend so much time making bastions but the enemy just circumvents them
When you pick Byzantine Bureaucracy but forget to hire a message opener
Breaking: after the dissolution of the galactic custodian, 79 separate situations have appeared. It would appear every nation in the galaxy is simultaneously communicating about migration pacts and federations.
Thank you Xenonion News, this was incredibly urgent.
Notifications are so anxiety-inducing. It could be something like your main fleet is under attack by a new kind of bioweapon, or it could be something really scary like your coworker asking if you can help them move to a new apartment.
-Area Government struggles to locate source of catchy background music.
-Private Colony Ship developed, offers complementary in-flight peanuts.
-Local black hole just painted on.
-Primitives launch plan for Observation Platform to observe Observation Platform.
-Galactic focus calls for use of comedically large magnifying glass.
-Tonight on Xenonion Invesitgates: Consumer Goods, or Consumer Bads? 2200 GST / 8805 SHRD
-Doctors warn of risks regarding XL Laser Hair Removal.
-Awakened Empire slept right through alarm.
Idle colossus redeployed to... Antares?
Awakened empire announces “special military operation” to “de-fanaticpurifierize” Blorg Commonality
@@Gstrangeman96 Maybe anti-piracy. Looked like an I at the end.
Update: yup, the last frame had 'anti-' at the end. The world-cracker is on pirate-swatting duty.
@@BlackPsionic "Alright, Pirate Corvette, just sit still for four months..."
@@auraguard0212'Wait til you see the look on their faces.'
Truly only those with the greatest of fortitude are suited to survive the log room.
Truly. The stress of handling such situations like completing a system survey or upgrading defense platforms are not for the faint of [Main Circulatory Organ]
@@svijj_ Shroud forbid they get a war declaration notification.
Of course Xenonion would report on the Situation Log and yet fail to note the true problem hidden within: our rapidly depleting Anomaly reserves.
It's said in the next decade or so we will run out of anomalies. Man the xenos are destroying this galaxy.
@@desertdude8274
Guess it's time to open the L Cluster to expand the anomaly pool temporarily while a more permanent solution is found.
Trust in Xenonion News to keep us updated.
Only situation we have is the situation itself. -Franklin D. Roosevelt, probably.
OH MY GOSH, THEY REALLY DID THE... THE... umm... THE THING!!! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!?
A THING OBVIOUSLY!
@@Pyxis10 that's going too far we have to do the thing!
I love you guys, please never stop making these. You add so much culture to my favorite game
I vote to induce Minor economic sanctions on the situation log
My boss wasn't too happy I was watching the news instead of working but a quick explanation on this developing situation cleared up that misunderstanding
I imagine a creepy advisor lady sitting behind me while I’m at an important board meeting saying.
Vessels have been refitted
Vessels have been refitted
Our vessels have been reinvigorated
Our vessels have been reinvigorated
Do all defense platforms at once in the year 3000 for the best experience.
This is horrifying. I have a friend in another system that might be impacted by the situation. I hope everything is ok.
Oh my god. This is how I've felt for years, but I had no words to describe the feeling.
This situation log just reached critical mass!
This is one of the best, most underrated game comedy channels.
I leverage my council power & declare a emergency session to vote on the naming of a Galactic Custodian! Cause everyone knows that only 1 person can solve 5 galactic spanning situations..
I use my council veto. Because I can.
I abstain for some reason or another.
The Galactic Security Council has convened an emergency summit. Naturally, the room is empty.
Have we tried to communicate with this.. "situation" yet?
First contact has proven unfruitful and has resulted in two new situation log entries.
This is the glorious content I subscribed for 🤪 satirizing the game and real news!
I wonder what would have happend if a foreign empire would have claimed a system.
“It appears a RED icon has appeared. No wait, now several more. This is... dear Zarqlan...”
May the worm have mercy on our souls.
This is brilliant.
You heard the giant balloon...time to panic!
I'm glad that they fix this in a later update, but looking back now and seeing this, it's kinda funny.
When the situation room is evacuated, you know some shit is about to go down.
Thank you Xenonion news for risking their anchor's lives for the truth
I knew it was coming the moment the video started, but it was still worth the wait just the same. I love every one of these.
I feel like the white exclamation mark is usually vassal status change, from vaasl to protectorate and so on. When you build the super weapon, that's when the situation room look scary, 15 casuai bellis pop up at the same time
2:06 spore players when they befriend the Grox
What my pops must be thinking when I alt+tab out while leaving the game running.
The GC: ! EMERGENCY ! THE SITUATION LOG HAS UPDATED, EVERYBODY STAY CALM ! EMERGENCY !
The Player: 🗿
Fleet Upgraded
The brain slug collective finds these situations concerning. The situation with these situations must be resolved before a major situation happens.
This sure is a sticky situation.
2:04
At that moment, on all channels, quadrillions of pops started screaming in near unison:
*"Aaaargh! Quick, raid the supermarkets: stockpile all weapons and instant mashed-potatoes you can find! THE END TIMES ARE HERE!!!"*
brilliant
Sounds about right.
There's a planetary settlement that needs your help. Let me mark it on your starmap.
Great job as always good to see you guys again.
I support the Current Thing.
All of the Current Things.
Ticker feed is hilarious
This is equal to that truck-post collision test gif
There is definitely something happening right now
Congratulations on making it into the Overlord trailer! Xenonion News is officially canon!
My Empire and its millions of Situation Notifications is in this video, and I am okay with that.
You guys are great!
dear god
Four things at once? The Galactic Community is absolutely doomed.
I, however, am sure that the Custodian will emerge from these situations with even more Diplomatic Weight.
The succesor to ONN
I love that this time it seems serious. And the music just make it soind more serious and professional.
Slip space rupture detected
Man these videos are the toppest notch shitposts that even I can't compete with!
I think I have a situation here concerning contractions of the diaphragm with unclear causes
Love this
The bastion station has been upgraded
The Empire normally: Egalitarian advisor type
The Empire when a Xeno insults us: Xenophobe advisor type
I mean a situation is a situation.
Thank you for your hard work Xenonion
_ships upgraded_
Lol, pretty sure door monster already did this joke xD
No one will ever look at them
Look, I don't need to be woken up for this unless somebody's opening or closing borders.
this ever happen to anyone else you just get spammed by "Ships Upgraded" for god knows what reason
“Earth Man Arrested for Boarding Human Colony Ship Naked”
Crazy humans
those defense platforms can get so tricky
No alien woman ?!
me: *reads title* please god what now
Emergency summit of the council?Not before we finished to vote on tyanki preservation in 1063 days.
I bet the player when all those platforms upgraded was like
"Oh I forgot about those!"
nice
1:16 4 things happening at twice, that got me
Any updates on the sudden galactic interest in unity?
Right click! everybody! right click like your life depends on it!
Engineer: job done. Our military ships will now fire blue lasers instead of red lasers.
Situation room: YOU DID WHAT?!?!
4 things at once? The galactic community can hardly handle 1 thing at a time.
The Great Khan? Naw...
MINOR ADMINISTRATIVE SACTIONS GO BRRRRRRRRRRR
My obsessive compulsive ass needs to delete all notifications from my screen... always!
Damn either these guys have a time warp or this is a really slowed down news broadcast cause this stuff must’ve happened over months
I love this channel
were did you get actual news feeds!
WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY!?!?
This is triggering me because I can't press the spacebar to click the icons 😬
Please, don't ever stop making these.
this is genius
This is probably my favorite video LOL
This is pretty standard for watching the News these days …
"Breaking news, oh what now?"
Does the Stellaris development team now about this channel?
Would have been amazing with 4x strategy game with. Ai algorithm based new shows now and then 😁
If that ever happens I will just go ZA WARUSO
Commenting 4 algorithm
noice
Huh.
😔👌
I like to imagine leaders being _extremely_ egocentric or something.
Because if there is any one thing that has absolutely _NO_ impact for my game in _ANY_ way, shape or form...
It's that a scientist, governor or general "levelled up" - not even regarding any new traits, mind you
This is not how this works
In game time has a day a second. Each of these would be weeks apart. Which is on par with real life.
is this an april fool's joke?
do you know anything about this channel?
watch more than one video, this is basically their entire channel, just making fun of stellaris.
First!
The first to first that is.
Situation Log Updated:
This channel is out of ideas