I've had an experience recently, it's a program they have put me into in Australia 🌏🦘 which it's sole purpose is just to get women who have had children back into work. I think psychology has it half right, but I think the other part is interacting in a group setting like they forced us to do in a school setting which makes it familiar and easy. I think it's why AA is successful knitting groups ECT... And even on the darker side Cults. I think for people to truly heal they need to be a part of a group. Besides the fact, I feel relatively healthy, strong and mentally sufficient but this group of women have made me feel like I was unwell and aren't anymore.
The point of me telling you this, is because this is Ur field of expertise and you're already doing it, but if you could set up small groups for men and women for a purpose even just to learn anything and then just sit down for some lunch and snacks I think people could truly be healed by interacting with each other and giving each other positivity.
People tend to get involved in those conversations thinking that their point will finally get through when in reality it’s a waste of time if it got to that situation to begin with ❤😂
Here are some phrases and questions to help end circular conversations: ### Phrases: 1. "I understand your perspective. Let's focus on finding a solution." 2. "It seems like we're going in circles. Can we try a different approach?" 3. "I hear you. How can we move forward from here?" 4. "Let's take a step back and identify what we both need." 5. "I think we've covered this point thoroughly. What can we do next?" ### Questions: 1. "What do you think is the main issue we're facing here?" 2. "How can we address your main concern?" 3. "What solution would you propose?" 4. "Is there something specific you need from me to move forward?" 5. "What can we both do differently to resolve this?"
@@JasonWFrovich I mean if you mean it sincerely. At the end of a day, most people would want to move on and find some kind of a resolve or an in-between solution.
@@JasonWFrovich They definitely could work, but just because they sometimes do doesn't mean they inevitably will in any and all cases. Keep in mind that although they are good examples, the best thing to do is use them as pointers. Trying to see if one or more of them feel fitting to utter through your personal self, then deciding whether or not you feel they're genuine enough as they are, or if you'd like to slightly modify them to mold them into possibly more genuine personal utterances.
One does not simply end circular conversations. One simply stops participating in them. And this is a very nuanced subject that has everything to do with interpretations, subjective perception, and the self
0:00 😠 Circular conversations are frustrating and draining, causing people to shut down on communication. 0:22 🔄 Circular conversations are arguments that repeat without resolution, often due to opposing positions or deeper unresolved issues. 1:45 💬 In cases of pseudo-resolution, arguments seem settled but resurface repeatedly, making participants feel like they're in a never-ending loop. 3:01 🛠 Resolving circular conversations involves understanding the core values and fears of both parties and addressing them to find common ground. 3:38 👔 Example: Bob and Nicholas resolve their work argument by identifying their underlying concerns about performance and inefficiency. 7:24 ⏳ Circular conversations can serve as a smoke screen for avoiding change, often benefiting one person by temporarily removing pressure. 7:48 🐶 Example: Jessica uncovers the truth behind David's avoidance of dog responsibilities, revealing his lack of interest in having a dog. 10:50 🚧 Some circular conversations hide deeper issues; resolving them requires digging into the real reasons behind the conflict. 13:20 🏠 Example: Sandy and Marielle's argument over house chores uncovers deeper feelings of neglect and being taken for granted. 14:00 🛑 Drawing attention to the circular nature of a conversation and using reflective listening can help end these draining cycles.
Your mindset gives the impression you might need these videos as well. There is always more to learn, any resistance you feel towards what I said should not be taken lightly, if only they knew.
When i saw the tittled for this video I got so excited, this is something that I have been observing and trying to understand for a while and seeing you make a video about this feels very right, thanks a lot for your wisdom 🙏
The second one is the exact reason why my marriage fell apart. The communication never went deeper. I tried but when someone doesn’t want to talk it out then by def😢the circular pattern stayed where it was spinning and spinning down hill until it was obvious that divorcing was the only option. How brutal it is to be in a long term relationship with someone who wasn’t interested in actually being in a relationship. The love I thought was there was an illusion 😢
Creating smoke screens / hiding the truth, not being able to set boundaries, yeah sounds like a recipe for relationship annihilation with someone who doesn't want to truly grow or change
Had to make it a bit lengthy because as you may have understood, the learning process was truly lengthy. And because when something is explained simply and concisely which is really deep, I feel it's necessary to explain it in a proper and slightly more complicated way so it may be easier for more people to understand the true implications as well... And no I'm not trying to be teaching anybody here anything by this, since I expect this lesson is one nearly everybody has learned to some extent at some point already. I merely wish to properly remind people about it, so they may consider it again and possibly evolve their understanding of that lesson in a more efficient way than I had to evolve my own understanding of it. Hope it helps, we all deserve to love ourselves at least a little more, and it's just so easy to use others as an excuse to not do it and tell ourselves our love is all given to them. Face the facts, your love can't be given away, it can only grow and hopefully one day so much it expands beyond you to reach everybody we know and don't know.
Yes, i feel your pain. My 4.5 years of marriage fell apart for the same reason: she refused to talk deeper, she simply gave lame arguments, lame excuses, never explained herself, never admitted to be even slightly wrong, never acted responsible (i mean never herself admitted to failing on promise, on causing pain,and appologising)... She rejected to follow and adhere to any kind of psychological rules of dialog and of building a relationship, that i proposed (e.g. what Teal proposes), and when i asked then to offer her standards, her rules, she simply asked to leave her alone, she said she has no time for this conversations, that she because does not bother me with this arguments, then i should not bother her, and accept her as she is, with all her entirety... Man that was painful when after 4.5 years of me loving, developing myself, being open, vulnerable, patient, caring and sincere, she left, just left, telling me that it is impossible to find and agreement with me!!!!!!!!!!! Telling me that we are too different, that i like to talk things over, and she is not talkative.... So much pain!! I went through a lot of pain in the last 4 years due to never resolving any issue with her, i got exhausted, and now she left me and i am davastated
It’s a common tactic used by narcissists in interpersonal relationships .. it usually never ends when the other is trying to have a relationship that isn’t a one way street
Oh my gosh, all my hubby and I do is have circular conversations. We go round and round but he is so casual and loving about it, you can't argue with him. Its a quiet debate. He uses compliments and gifts as tactical gear. Its wonderful and we also get nothing accomplished quickly.
@@SneakySteevy you are right she definitely needs to address it directly but you didn’t say that did you? Passive aggression is part of the Peter Pan syndrome plaguing all men these days. Get off the p&rn, stop trying to control others through your manipulation techniques and stop skirting around the issue, and heal your mother emeshment…that’s who you are really mad at. You are welcome. A “helpful” tip like yours definitely deserved one back.
@@SneakySteevyif husbands watched these videos and understand that we’re tryring to solve an issue together and take responsibility instead of winning an argument then they wouldn’t need to
@@SneakySteevy Fun fact. We've been married for 30 years, raised a family, have a small business, several properties and a boat. He can circular talk til the cows come home, I do it too, and what we accomplish isn't fast- it's just good.
I was in this circumstance three times and the other party is the only one that wants to be heard shut me down, can’t get a word in edgewise so I decided to tell them to get the hell out of my house.
@@carefulcarpenter It comes to a point, where you got to let go. Especially after you’ve tried numerous times can’t keep on banging your head against the wall.
"Whatever you understand, you are less afraid of and therefore able to be more kind to". ”Kind is an other-oriented behavior where you demonstrate that you can act in the best interest of others. A kind person feels empathy and acts in the best interests of others. A kind person is exhibiting strength. A kind person acts from care and love”. Teal Swan 🌎 thank you Teal for helping us understand Humans 😘
Btw I luv the texture tapestry behind you…I make these once in a while along with macrame wall hangings! I luv them and I luv the feeling of making them. Its peaceful an most of the time I have your videos playing while I weave n knot haha. I thank you for a lot of how my life has become! Its more freeing and I feel I understand people better. Another thing is when I stop talking around folks, they tell me all about themselves if I let them…I find a beauty in such a way because I love to talk in general and the more personal me and the other person get the deeper and the better an more meaningful. Ever since I subscribed to your channel and bought you book and listened to your videos and put them into practice on myself, my life changes soo much everyday and everyday I learn more and more. I also love nature and when I am not knotting and weaving or painting or whatever other hobby I love to do, I go out in the deep forest with my son and we just observe and I show him how we are connected to each individual thing and how we are like and not and he loves it soo much! We have an excellent time in nature learning and observing 😊❤. I just want to thank you for everything you do and have done and still are doing!!! Your an amazing woman and I hope everything goes great for you and yours and we are greatful for you! Thnx Teal!! Much luv and respect xo
I don’t get stuck in these because I’m more often than not listening to learn. If the conversation moves in a direction where I can tell the person is not understanding what it is I’m attempting to convey I let them know I’ve learned a lot and I’ll continue to think about what they have presented. Then I exit the exchange… they weren’t ready…
You better appreciate that about yourself. Because as easy as it may be to you, it definitely isn't to many. It's obviously ultimately about maturity, and well you should appreciate that's one of your more mature parts but also keep in mind that probably means you have other aspects that aren't as mature just yet. Keep the curious and humble parts of you well nourished and you may just manage to skip over traps that could torture you for decades. I took about an entire decade to learn one of the most basic parts of maturity myself, and it wasn't easy nor painless. I'm just extremely appreciative that I won't have to go another decade or the rest of my life without maturing, and growing past it. Hope we can keep maturing and learning as effectively as possible in the future we're about to create together
Nicely itemized examples of the more conscious finding their next step up to help the other find stability at that step they've mutually wobbled in, into a deeper foundation they can both start climbing from.
I understand your pain. I was accused every time of "starting a conflict" when i simply tried to resolve why the person does not clean the apartment when we agreed it to be done once a week and agreed on the division of responsibilities. The person would give every time lame excuses, never sincerely admitted to failing on the agreement, never appoligised, and never admitted to be the true source of the conflict and not me, who simply points out that nothing changes. Horrible cycles, i was going crazy, no matter how patiently and gently i was bringing the issue up.
Good information. I doubt it would do any good in a relationship with someone that just feeds off your reactions. Although it might help one to realize the other is just feeding off the reactions of an argument 🤔
It's not "just" that, it's a quite complicated situation you're describing with the word "feeding" but it's obviously not that either. I get your point and I believe you are correct, but it's not always helpful to try and simplify things to such an extent as you are here. because I believe we both know that humans are quite complicated creatures, and therefore have to be understood in their complexity also sometimes. I'm all for simplicity for sure, yet if we simplify certain things to the wrong extent or in an unreasonable way, it ends up making ourselves even more complicated and may sometimes create misery and pain. This is something I've realized exactly because I've been so focused on and obsessed by the utility of simplicity. Just letting you know, hopefully you can somehow relate and/or understand what I men by that.
@ciszaiogien what is "consciousness"? Almost all of the attributes we think about when we say "conscious" come down to how well the individual uses the brain and have some portion of the brain devoted to it. "Consciousness" is a difficult phenomenon to describe; especially if the one listening doesn't believe in the spiritual body. I see what you're saying about levels, but without being able to define consciousness and beat the atheistic/science types we will not be able to convince people en masse of the truth of evolution.
So lately I've been "cutting to the chase" with circular arguments with my partner. For example, I communicate I feel taken for granted when I'm the only one who keeps the house clean on top of having. Demanding job all while my partner works hybrid and prioritizes his hobbies everyday. When I tell him directly how I feel, he claims he feels I'm not saying he's not good enough, I always have complaints, and EVERYTIME I voice my feelings, he feels it's the opportunity to make it the time to tell me how he feels rather than tend to what I'm saying. He will claim how he pays for everything and I need to let the little things go because of everything he does for me. For context, he lost his dad when he was 6 and has been the sole provider for his family ever since. He feels my emotions are too demanding and doesn't like the pressure of responsibility in a relationship. This sucks because we both love each other, but sometimes I feel like he makes me feel like I'm a lot to be with, despite him reassuring me I'm not.
This is extremely useful, thank you! What do you do with someone who doesn't care? Doesn't love you? How do you get them to care? It's really painful with family members...
when I realise I am conversing with someone who is not able to selfreflect, I leave the conversation. I sit down with my irritation until I am relaxed again. Then I ask myself the question: Is it this important to resolve it or not. Most of the time it is not. Sometimes the resolution is accepting the status quo and expect nothing less. I used to get stuck. And only with people who aren’t afraid to be wrong you can solve the circularity together. Is my humble opinion. Some people just are really rigid. They only bend when you are down on the ground.
My ex was the KING of circular conversations. Any time I'd ask for any deeper context I was always met with this brick wall of "I dunno I dunno" or my favorite; "I forget" 🙄🙄🙄🙄 "Why did you do that?" "I dunno" "But what were you thinking at the time?" "I dunno I forget" 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 If playing dumb were an olympic sport he'd have a metal
Thank you for covering this Teal. Can you also talk about people that talk a LOT like the ones that find anyone random to talk to, ignoring their cues, and they don’t give any space in between for the other to talk. They talk in zigzag, multiple topics at once. Like they are unloading their life while the other person just stands there unable to get out without feeling rude. What is up with that personality type?
Depends on the reason, the jumping between thoughts could be a mix of emotional distress or issue or also like adhd brains naturally jump around and it’s helpful if people understand it’s a sort of executive function regulation issue not an attention one. And that sustained and selective attention form the basis for a lot of these executive functions. We are not perfect all the time and I know we can info dump (I think it’s part that we get stimulation from it which our brain is always looking for). Also talking a lot is actually often a symptom of the more combinded or hyperactive impulsive type. It’s actually listed in the dsm. And part of it is because the stop signal dosent occur to us the same way it does you. But if we grew up knowing about it, like I know I talk a lot. I also learned to not be ashamed if I get asked if someone can just have a moment to think before speaking. Like you need to understand you have a right to ask for a moment of silence and hold it to then speak meaning you don’t need to know what to say before you grab it. Also, for people like us, slowing us down a bit is not bad idea. It helps the focus a bit. I just know I can at times get into a long drawn out associational explanation of something. And one thing my dad used to tell me that I didn’t take offense at, “can you say that with less words” And give them a moment to think and it’s a good brain exercise actually. Another thing to do, is people may be kinda intellectually dissociating from their bodies which can cause this to happen a bit too. Instead of asking them what they feel, ask them “what’s going on in your body”. Even avoidant people will often pause and at least consider it. They may not know. But it gives you a clue as to how they are regulating in that moment. Also if you get people to talk from what’s going on in their body, their speech naturally slows and takes on a different pace and tone. So - slowing down, asking “can you say this in less words?” Or prompting them to take a breath and slow, what’s going on in your body?, knowing you have the right to ask for a moment to add something even if you want to think (plus this slows things down), and just realizing that if we are aware of our neurodivergence on level of understanding that that symptom dosent help us meet our needs see don’t take offense as long as it’s not a criticism but a request.
Underlying issues abound in any circulation that becomes repetitive. Usually unresolved anger keeping the heat turned up intentionally at times without even realizing. At the first sign i bolt
That is one of the reasons I did not want to live with my ex as I knew he would lie and hide things from me and ya its draining to be with immature and inauthentic people. He wanted to put the least effort in everything. Thank you
Totally unrelated to circular conversations..but I believe I feel called to certain places as a function of retrieving Wholeness (buzz word in spirituality, worthy pursuit). Namely, for me, England, Iceland, Latin America, for cordiality, naturalism and expression, respectively. These 3 parts have very much been exiled due to my past.
I wish I knew this earlier in my life 😩 I was "trying" to be "respectful" by staying in the "conservation"🤮 Nowadays, I don't really care about conservations. The less talking, the more peace I feel🤗
@@S.G.W.Verbeekyou may feel that as of now, but you might want to consider that one day you'll have to start practicing and evolving your conversational skill once again. After all our communication is one of our greatest skills and also requirements to experience real peace and fulfilment. May you evolve and grow as effectively as you possibly can.
In my experience this mostly happens when one party is being really insensitive, disconnected from others (especially their pain), has low emotional intelligence.. So usually men.
@@codycrawford7842 Never said anything about romantic relationships, I was speaking about a general pattern, and, as I said, in *my* experience. You don't have to invalidate others to validate yourself.
Hi Teal, Can you please make video on the subject of 'Earth's spiritual cycle'? So far I know that it's about 26000 years long and also some are saying that we are approaching the end of this cycle. What's this all about and what actually happens at the end of one cycle?
I get stuck in circular conversations with my sister and after so many years of it I feel like it's destroying most interactions we have. She's a very stubborn, abrasive, and irritable person. When she has an opinion it's typically a lost cause trying to discuss anything with her, especially if it's a strong opinion. Most other people can still discuss things regardless of already having an opinion, but not her. At a certain point I feel like maybe I'm just not saying things correctly so she's misunderstanding the point I'm making so I'll keep trying to clarify myself, but eventually I realize she understands perfectly but since she sees a topic one way all she's going to do is keep repeating her opinion and basically not allow an actual discussion to take place. She's almost incapable of trying to see anything through a different lense even just to discuss. Another major issue is if she views the definition of a word different than you. Once that happens all she'll keep saying is well that's not what that means to me, and she'll insist that any other viewpoint is mistaken. I often end up feeling like I've done something wrong when her frustrations start to show and she begins to frown and raise her voice. Eventually after she is clearly angry and made sure she's said everything she wanted to say she'll start shutting down the conversation. Only SHE can shut down conversations. Only HER opinion is correct. If you attempt to end a conversation she won't allow it unless SHE wants it to end, if she keeps talking and it gets worse somehow that's YOUR fault too. I really don't know how to deal with her and never have, but I'm tired of it going that way if we talk longer than 10 minutes.
Image trying to have a conversation about moving forward, when the person you are talking to stonewalls you and refuses to gives their prospective. Then accusing you of starting fights, or just flat out lying to your face. Maybe it's time to walk away?
Tealll what to do if I can’t get myslef to reframe my beleifs? Doing it feels painful and stressful. Like schoolwork. And I know I should change that ..bt that’s the point! Is there no temporary coping maybe?IF ANYONE ELSE HAS AN ANSWER PLS FEEL FREE TO REPLY ❤❤ ID BE SO GLAD
ok what about having everything in order with a tidy house river giving one a ocd reward? or is that reward just a control seeking behavior with having control on one’s surroundings? is it unfair to get upset about the other not respecting that?
Wen the oder part in the situation is not willing to face the real deal. She just not interested on get in a end point. She just wanna do nothing about it, and keep going on reflame. How to manage wen the oder envolved is not avable?
Teal, there is something that's very confusing to me about what you are teaching in terms of male-female relationships. As a woman, you can't go around accepting providership from all kinds of random men without them thinking that you are also hinting at a "yes" going to bed with them. Therein lies the problem. You accept something nice from a man and then you have to waste an unpredictable amount of time trying to put this man down gently to affirm that, no, you do not find them romantically attractive. I would love to just be able to say "no," and that being accepted at face value graciously, but that's not how men are in reality. I like having male friends but males never want to be just friends, they always have ulterior motives and are scheming about how to get what they want instead of being gracious about it.
I had an ex it would go like this: Your having a circular conversation You keep interrupting let me finish Your having a circular conversation Your interrupting again let me finish Your having a circular conversation STOP INTERRUPTING IM NOT FINISHED TALKING your having a circular conversation LET ME FINISH!!!
''circular'' needs to be named, in Case ''2 Individuals are on the same Plane'' so to say, ''hold the very same Role'', otherwise a ''Spiral'' is active, where the ''upper Part'' behaves so to say, as the ''lower Part'' and this is ''wrong'', ideally speaking, despite the ''lower'' Part may be ''qualitatively higher'' than the officially ''higher Part'', cfr. in the Tale ''the Emperor's new Clothes'' by Don Juan Manuel of some 700 Years ago, later published again by Hans Christian Andersen, a ''Collector'' of ''prestigious, noble Novels'', and the ''upper Level'' was the ''King'' who was ''lower'' actually, than the ''Level of the Kid, belonging to the 'general Public' actually'', who was ''allegedly lower than the higher royal King'', and yet, he was actually ''qualitatively higher'' than the ''King''; in that Case ''circular'' is an ''Illusion'', and one needs to ''understand'' what ''Level'' of the ''Spiral'' needs to ''take a Step'' toward ''more Nobility'' so to put it, in order to ''properly address 'Problems' and thereafter, to 'solve' them'' (Answer: ''pray G.d and expect to be 'enlightening', whatever 'Role' is held'', and ''as Things are now and have been for 700 Years at least'', never expect to be ''praised'' in Case the own ''Intervention'' is ''qualitatively higher'' than the ''Intervention'' of some, alleged ''officially appointed'', Official of some ''higher Rank''). ''Salvation'' to everyone, simultaneously.
There are three types of geometric figures in romantic relationships that breaks its balance: parallel lives, vicious circles and love triangles. My 2 cents of wisdom.
It’s why people say: “We will have to agree to disagree”… -as a way to say there is no conversation. A lot of times conversations have ended and people keep talking.
To end any conversation, i have no problem turning my back on someone & walking away while they are talking. Its tried & true. If i dont give a fuhk, i have no desire to act as if i do.
Let me help you. 1 John 4:7 Beloved ones, let us continue loving one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born from God and knows God
@@jenster29 What are the most triggering verses in the Bible to you? Matthew 5:21-22 ²¹"You heard that it was said to those of ancient times: ‘You must not murder, but whoever commits a murder will be accountable to the court of justice.’ ²²However, I say to you that everyone who continues wrathful with his brother will be accountable to the court of justice; and whoever addresses his brother with an unspeakable word of contempt will be accountable to the Supreme Court; whereas whoever says, ‘You despicable fool!’ will be liable to the fiery Ge·henʹna.
How do you know God said so? Because a bunch of ancient people nobody knows said so. Gotcha. How about, listen to your heart instead of the words of man. Discern.
Meglio non iniziare per primi contro Alfonso, lasciamo perdere, pazienza tanto lunedì prossimo è finita, cambio tutte le regole e lui sarà solo un ricordo. Ehy what do you think Venice Beach in Los Angeles, California?
Incase you'd rather read about it instead and want to dive deeper into today's topic: tealswan.vip/workbooks
WITCH!!!!
I've had an experience recently, it's a program they have put me into in Australia 🌏🦘 which it's sole purpose is just to get women who have had children back into work. I think psychology has it half right, but I think the other part is interacting in a group setting like they forced us to do in a school setting which makes it familiar and easy. I think it's why AA is successful knitting groups ECT... And even on the darker side Cults. I think for people to truly heal they need to be a part of a group. Besides the fact, I feel relatively healthy, strong and mentally sufficient but this group of women have made me feel like I was unwell and aren't anymore.
The point of me telling you this, is because this is Ur field of expertise and you're already doing it, but if you could set up small groups for men and women for a purpose even just to learn anything and then just sit down for some lunch and snacks I think people could truly be healed by interacting with each other and giving each other positivity.
People tend to get involved in those conversations thinking that their point will finally get through when in reality it’s a waste of time if it got to that situation to begin with ❤😂
Big facts
Spot on.
Here are some phrases and questions to help end circular conversations:
### Phrases:
1. "I understand your perspective. Let's focus on finding a solution."
2. "It seems like we're going in circles. Can we try a different approach?"
3. "I hear you. How can we move forward from here?"
4. "Let's take a step back and identify what we both need."
5. "I think we've covered this point thoroughly. What can we do next?"
### Questions:
1. "What do you think is the main issue we're facing here?"
2. "How can we address your main concern?"
3. "What solution would you propose?"
4. "Is there something specific you need from me to move forward?"
5. "What can we both do differently to resolve this?"
"It seems you and I both have reached an impasse. Duel at high noon kiddo...".
Does this really work? Have you actually used this to end a circular conversation?
@@JasonWFrovich I mean if you mean it sincerely. At the end of a day, most people would want to move on and find some kind of a resolve or an in-between solution.
@@millanferende6723 I would agree, I at times, it's challenging getting to the root or real issue. I will give these questions a go.
@@JasonWFrovich They definitely could work, but just because they sometimes do doesn't mean they inevitably will in any and all cases. Keep in mind that although they are good examples, the best thing to do is use them as pointers. Trying to see if one or more of them feel fitting to utter through your personal self, then deciding whether or not you feel they're genuine enough as they are, or if you'd like to slightly modify them to mold them into possibly more genuine personal utterances.
One does not simply end circular conversations. One simply stops participating in them. And this is a very nuanced subject that has everything to do with interpretations, subjective perception, and the self
0:00 😠 Circular conversations are frustrating and draining, causing people to shut down on communication.
0:22 🔄 Circular conversations are arguments that repeat without resolution, often due to opposing positions or deeper unresolved issues.
1:45 💬 In cases of pseudo-resolution, arguments seem settled but resurface repeatedly, making participants feel like they're in a never-ending loop.
3:01 🛠 Resolving circular conversations involves understanding the core values and fears of both parties and addressing them to find common ground.
3:38 👔 Example: Bob and Nicholas resolve their work argument by identifying their underlying concerns about performance and inefficiency.
7:24 ⏳ Circular conversations can serve as a smoke screen for avoiding change, often benefiting one person by temporarily removing pressure.
7:48 🐶 Example: Jessica uncovers the truth behind David's avoidance of dog responsibilities, revealing his lack of interest in having a dog.
10:50 🚧 Some circular conversations hide deeper issues; resolving them requires digging into the real reasons behind the conflict.
13:20 🏠 Example: Sandy and Marielle's argument over house chores uncovers deeper feelings of neglect and being taken for granted.
14:00 🛑 Drawing attention to the circular nature of a conversation and using reflective listening can help end these draining cycles.
The people that need these videos are the ones that don’t watch it lmao
Your mindset gives the impression you might need these videos as well. There is always more to learn, any resistance you feel towards what I said should not be taken lightly, if only they knew.
Agree
When i saw the tittled for this video I got so excited, this is something that I have been observing and trying to understand for a while and seeing you make a video about this feels very right, thanks a lot for your wisdom 🙏
The second one is the exact reason why my marriage fell apart. The communication never went deeper. I tried but when someone doesn’t want to talk it out then by def😢the circular pattern stayed where it was spinning and spinning down hill until it was obvious that divorcing was the only option.
How brutal it is to be in a long term relationship with someone who wasn’t interested in actually being in a relationship. The love I thought was there was an illusion 😢
It is a sad realization that i am now understanding, after investing time and energy for 6 years.
This was also a major reason my marriage failed as well.
Creating smoke screens / hiding the truth, not being able to set boundaries, yeah sounds like a recipe for relationship annihilation with someone who doesn't want to truly grow or change
Had to make it a bit lengthy because as you may have understood, the learning process was truly lengthy. And because when something is explained simply and concisely which is really deep, I feel it's necessary to explain it in a proper and slightly more complicated way so it may be easier for more people to understand the true implications as well... And no I'm not trying to be teaching anybody here anything by this, since I expect this lesson is one nearly everybody has learned to some extent at some point already. I merely wish to properly remind people about it, so they may consider it again and possibly evolve their understanding of that lesson in a more efficient way than I had to evolve my own understanding of it. Hope it helps, we all deserve to love ourselves at least a little more, and it's just so easy to use others as an excuse to not do it and tell ourselves our love is all given to them. Face the facts, your love can't be given away, it can only grow and hopefully one day so much it expands beyond you to reach everybody we know and don't know.
Yes, i feel your pain. My 4.5 years of marriage fell apart for the same reason: she refused to talk deeper, she simply gave lame arguments, lame excuses, never explained herself, never admitted to be even slightly wrong, never acted responsible (i mean never herself admitted to failing on promise, on causing pain,and appologising)...
She rejected to follow and adhere to any kind of psychological rules of dialog and of building a relationship, that i proposed (e.g. what Teal proposes), and when i asked then to offer her standards, her rules, she simply asked to leave her alone, she said she has no time for this conversations, that she because does not bother me with this arguments, then i should not bother her, and accept her as she is, with all her entirety...
Man that was painful when after 4.5 years of me loving, developing myself, being open, vulnerable, patient, caring and sincere, she left, just left, telling me that it is impossible to find and agreement with me!!!!!!!!!!! Telling me that we are too different, that i like to talk things over, and she is not talkative.... So much pain!!
I went through a lot of pain in the last 4 years due to never resolving any issue with her, i got exhausted, and now she left me and i am davastated
That woven art in the background is absolutely beautiful!
It’s a common tactic used by narcissists in interpersonal relationships .. it usually never ends when the other is trying to have a relationship that isn’t a one way street
Oh my gosh, all my hubby and I do is have circular conversations. We go round and round but he is so casual and loving about it, you can't argue with him. Its a quiet debate. He uses compliments and gifts as tactical gear. Its wonderful and we also get nothing accomplished quickly.
Haha love it
Fun fact: majority of wife that are complaining about their husband on TH-cam are the problem. 🤟👍
@@SneakySteevy you are right she definitely needs to address it directly but you didn’t say that did you? Passive aggression is part of the Peter Pan syndrome plaguing all men these days. Get off the p&rn, stop trying to control others through your manipulation techniques and stop skirting around the issue, and heal your mother emeshment…that’s who you are really mad at. You are welcome. A “helpful” tip like yours definitely deserved one back.
@@SneakySteevyif husbands watched these videos and understand that we’re tryring to solve an issue together and take responsibility instead of winning an argument then they wouldn’t need to
@@SneakySteevy Fun fact. We've been married for 30 years, raised a family, have a small business, several properties and a boat. He can circular talk til the cows come home, I do it too, and what we accomplish isn't fast- it's just good.
I had my circular conversation/argument again this week. So glad Teal did this topic!
I was in this circumstance three times and the other party is the only one that wants to be heard shut me down, can’t get a word in edgewise so I decided to tell them to get the hell out of my house.
"LOVE is listening."
cc. ♥
@@carefulcarpenter It comes to a point, where you got to let go. Especially after you’ve tried numerous times can’t keep on banging your head against the wall.
@@doloresfarr7633 I took another path. It works.
@@doloresfarr7633 My truthful post was censored.
Good for you Dolores. Enough is enough.
amazing advice
I really recommend the Non-violent communication by Marshall Rosenberg here.
"Whatever you understand, you are less afraid of and therefore able to be more kind to". ”Kind is an other-oriented behavior where you demonstrate that you can act in the best interest of others. A kind person feels empathy and acts in the best interests of others. A kind person is exhibiting strength. A kind person acts from care and love”. Teal Swan 🌎 thank you Teal for helping us understand Humans 😘
Happy Saturday, Sabbath and Memorial Day weekend Teal and anyone else who reads this!!! 😊
IT REALLY WORKS !! Teal is a genius !!
Frustration with Unity Consciousness. Everything involving LOVE has to do with listening. Narcissism is resistent to listening.
Btw I luv the texture tapestry behind you…I make these once in a while along with macrame wall hangings! I luv them and I luv the feeling of making them. Its peaceful an most of the time I have your videos playing while I weave n knot haha. I thank you for a lot of how my life has become! Its more freeing and I feel I understand people better. Another thing is when I stop talking around folks, they tell me all about themselves if I let them…I find a beauty in such a way because I love to talk in general and the more personal me and the other person get the deeper and the better an more meaningful. Ever since I subscribed to your channel and bought you book and listened to your videos and put them into practice on myself, my life changes soo much everyday and everyday I learn more and more. I also love nature and when I am not knotting and weaving or painting or whatever other hobby I love to do, I go out in the deep forest with my son and we just observe and I show him how we are connected to each individual thing and how we are like and not and he loves it soo much! We have an excellent time in nature learning and observing 😊❤. I just want to thank you for everything you do and have done and still are doing!!! Your an amazing woman and I hope everything goes great for you and yours and we are greatful for you! Thnx Teal!! Much luv and respect xo
I don’t get stuck in these because I’m more often than not listening to learn. If the conversation moves in a direction where I can tell the person is not understanding what it is I’m attempting to convey I let them know I’ve learned a lot and I’ll continue to think about what they have presented. Then I exit the exchange… they weren’t ready…
You better appreciate that about yourself. Because as easy as it may be to you, it definitely isn't to many. It's obviously ultimately about maturity, and well you should appreciate that's one of your more mature parts but also keep in mind that probably means you have other aspects that aren't as mature just yet. Keep the curious and humble parts of you well nourished and you may just manage to skip over traps that could torture you for decades. I took about an entire decade to learn one of the most basic parts of maturity myself, and it wasn't easy nor painless. I'm just extremely appreciative that I won't have to go another decade or the rest of my life without maturing, and growing past it. Hope we can keep maturing and learning as effectively as possible in the future we're about to create together
A very mature way of looking at things anni...
Nicely itemized examples of the more conscious finding their next step up to help the other find stability at that step they've mutually wobbled in, into a deeper foundation they can both start climbing from.
I absolutely love the textile art piece in the background!
Imagine being accused of this by the one who refuses to change their behaviour or apologise or even accept why you're going round in circles...
No need to imagine! All day everyday………it’s debilitating
I understand your pain. I was accused every time of "starting a conflict" when i simply tried to resolve why the person does not clean the apartment when we agreed it to be done once a week and agreed on the division of responsibilities. The person would give every time lame excuses, never sincerely admitted to failing on the agreement, never appoligised, and never admitted to be the true source of the conflict and not me, who simply points out that nothing changes. Horrible cycles, i was going crazy, no matter how patiently and gently i was bringing the issue up.
It's crazy-making!
And Teal strikes again with another truth bomb 💙
Good information. I doubt it would do any good in a relationship with someone that just feeds off your reactions. Although it might help one to realize the other is just feeding off the reactions of an argument 🤔
It's not "just" that, it's a quite complicated situation you're describing with the word "feeding" but it's obviously not that either. I get your point and I believe you are correct, but it's not always helpful to try and simplify things to such an extent as you are here. because I believe we both know that humans are quite complicated creatures, and therefore have to be understood in their complexity also sometimes. I'm all for simplicity for sure, yet if we simplify certain things to the wrong extent or in an unreasonable way, it ends up making ourselves even more complicated and may sometimes create misery and pain. This is something I've realized exactly because I've been so focused on and obsessed by the utility of simplicity. Just letting you know, hopefully you can somehow relate and/or understand what I men by that.
Ancestors and so many more are so proud of you and your work you do ...
For me, I call it "closed mindedness keeping you from understanding" and understanding is necessary for a religious life.
@ciszaiogien what is "consciousness"? Almost all of the attributes we think about when we say "conscious" come down to how well the individual uses the brain and have some portion of the brain devoted to it. "Consciousness" is a difficult phenomenon to describe; especially if the one listening doesn't believe in the spiritual body. I see what you're saying about levels, but without being able to define consciousness and beat the atheistic/science types we will not be able to convince people en masse of the truth of evolution.
You are really good for us men and women who need a little coaching from time to time. Thank you.
What I'm hearing you say is that it's important to understand the other person.
Right video at the right time 💯
So lately I've been "cutting to the chase" with circular arguments with my partner. For example, I communicate I feel taken for granted when I'm the only one who keeps the house clean on top of having. Demanding job all while my partner works hybrid and prioritizes his hobbies everyday. When I tell him directly how I feel, he claims he feels I'm not saying he's not good enough, I always have complaints, and EVERYTIME I voice my feelings, he feels it's the opportunity to make it the time to tell me how he feels rather than tend to what I'm saying. He will claim how he pays for everything and I need to let the little things go because of everything he does for me. For context, he lost his dad when he was 6 and has been the sole provider for his family ever since. He feels my emotions are too demanding and doesn't like the pressure of responsibility in a relationship. This sucks because we both love each other, but sometimes I feel like he makes me feel like I'm a lot to be with, despite him reassuring me I'm not.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge on this topic and for all of your content.
OMG! FAntastic! Invaluable topic! So glad you talk about it Teal!!
THANK you
This has been so helpful to me and I'm sure many others. Thank you! Got my like n sub.
This is extremely useful, thank you!
What do you do with someone who doesn't care? Doesn't love you? How do you get them to care? It's really painful with family members...
when I realise I am conversing with someone who is not able to selfreflect, I leave the conversation. I sit down with my irritation until I am relaxed again. Then I ask myself the question: Is it this important to resolve it or not. Most of the time it is not. Sometimes the resolution is accepting the status quo and expect nothing less.
I used to get stuck. And only with people who aren’t afraid to be wrong you can solve the circularity together. Is my humble opinion. Some people just are really rigid. They only bend when you are down on the ground.
love the colors on that painting.
My ex was the KING of circular conversations. Any time I'd ask for any deeper context I was always met with this brick wall of "I dunno I dunno" or my favorite; "I forget" 🙄🙄🙄🙄
"Why did you do that?"
"I dunno"
"But what were you thinking at the time?"
"I dunno I forget" 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
If playing dumb were an olympic sport he'd have a metal
Thanks a lot mam your every video is a blessing 💓
Thank you for covering this Teal. Can you also talk about people that talk a LOT like the ones that find anyone random to talk to, ignoring their cues, and they don’t give any space in between for the other to talk. They talk in zigzag, multiple topics at once. Like they are unloading their life while the other person just stands there unable to get out without feeling rude. What is up with that personality type?
I feel those people were not paid attention to enough as children. In the sense of their uniqueness and individuality being noticed and appreciated
Depends on the reason, the jumping between thoughts could be a mix of emotional distress or issue or also like adhd brains naturally jump around and it’s helpful if people understand it’s a sort of executive function regulation issue not an attention one. And that sustained and selective attention form the basis for a lot of these executive functions. We are not perfect all the time and I know we can info dump (I think it’s part that we get stimulation from it which our brain is always looking for). Also talking a lot is actually often a symptom of the more combinded or hyperactive impulsive type. It’s actually listed in the dsm. And part of it is because the stop signal dosent occur to us the same way it does you. But if we grew up knowing about it, like I know I talk a lot. I also learned to not be ashamed if I get asked if someone can just have a moment to think before speaking. Like you need to understand you have a right to ask for a moment of silence and hold it to then speak meaning you don’t need to know what to say before you grab it. Also, for people like us, slowing us down a bit is not bad idea. It helps the focus a bit. I just know I can at times get into a long drawn out associational explanation of something. And one thing my dad used to tell me that I didn’t take offense at, “can you say that with less words” And give them a moment to think and it’s a good brain exercise actually. Another thing to do, is people may be kinda intellectually dissociating from their bodies which can cause this to happen a bit too. Instead of asking them what they feel, ask them “what’s going on in your body”. Even avoidant people will often pause and at least consider it. They may not know. But it gives you a clue as to how they are regulating in that moment. Also if you get people to talk from what’s going on in their body, their speech naturally slows and takes on a different pace and tone. So - slowing down, asking “can you say this in less words?” Or prompting them to take a breath and slow, what’s going on in your body?, knowing you have the right to ask for a moment to add something even if you want to think (plus this slows things down), and just realizing that if we are aware of our neurodivergence on level of understanding that that symptom dosent help us meet our needs see don’t take offense as long as it’s not a criticism but a request.
thank you Teal, great video, so on point. You're beautiful as always❤
Thank you for the insight.
Circular conversations happen everyday in the business arena. That’s why nothing gets done.😊
Circular conversations there's a positive side, it must be maintain a good energy and will to add more in to the relation from both sides.
Thank you 🙏🏼❤ You have no idea.
Underlying issues abound in any circulation that becomes repetitive. Usually unresolved anger keeping the heat turned up intentionally at times without even realizing. At the first sign i bolt
That is one of the reasons I did not want to live with my ex as I knew he would lie and hide things from me and ya its draining to be with immature and inauthentic people. He wanted to put the least effort in everything. Thank you
Hello Teal Tribe 🖤
Have a lovely weekend.
💞💚💞💚💞
Hello thank you you too
Totally unrelated to circular conversations..but I believe I feel called to certain places as a function of retrieving Wholeness (buzz word in spirituality, worthy pursuit).
Namely, for me, England, Iceland, Latin America, for cordiality, naturalism and expression, respectively. These 3 parts have very much been exiled due to my past.
I think this is my favorite video
This felt like a circular conversation, lol & I'm just nodding the whole time.
🙄
You ' ve got the eye of the Tiger !!!
Finalmente dopo due anni spenderò le energie in qualcosa di costruttivo e potrò finalmente tornare a casa dopo qualche mese.
I walk away from those conversations.
I wish I knew this earlier in my life 😩 I was "trying" to be "respectful" by staying in the "conservation"🤮
Nowadays, I don't really care about conservations. The less talking, the more peace I feel🤗
@@S.G.W.Verbeekyou may feel that as of now, but you might want to consider that one day you'll have to start practicing and evolving your conversational skill once again. After all our communication is one of our greatest skills and also requirements to experience real peace and fulfilment. May you evolve and grow as effectively as you possibly can.
@@maobizubiwa
Thank you
In my experience this mostly happens when one party is being really insensitive, disconnected from others (especially their pain), has low emotional intelligence.. So usually men.
True 😰
Women will use this exact attitude to dismiss men in a relationship
@@codycrawford7842
Well, if he is the correct man for her, then she would have more lovely things to say about him.
@@codycrawford7842 Never said anything about romantic relationships, I was speaking about a general pattern, and, as I said, in *my* experience. You don't have to invalidate others to validate yourself.
TY 🙏🙏
Hi Teal,
Can you please make video on the subject of 'Earth's spiritual cycle'? So far I know that it's about 26000 years long and also some are saying that we are approaching the end of this cycle.
What's this all about and what actually happens at the end of one cycle?
Well apparently there are another 3k years to go so I don't think we need to worry haha
I get stuck in circular conversations with my sister and after so many years of it I feel like it's destroying most interactions we have.
She's a very stubborn, abrasive, and irritable person. When she has an opinion it's typically a lost cause trying to discuss anything with her, especially if it's a strong opinion. Most other people can still discuss things regardless of already having an opinion, but not her.
At a certain point I feel like maybe I'm just not saying things correctly so she's misunderstanding the point I'm making so I'll keep trying to clarify myself, but eventually I realize she understands perfectly but since she sees a topic one way all she's going to do is keep repeating her opinion and basically not allow an actual discussion to take place. She's almost incapable of trying to see anything through a different lense even just to discuss.
Another major issue is if she views the definition of a word different than you. Once that happens all she'll keep saying is well that's not what that means to me, and she'll insist that any other viewpoint is mistaken.
I often end up feeling like I've done something wrong when her frustrations start to show and she begins to frown and raise her voice. Eventually after she is clearly angry and made sure she's said everything she wanted to say she'll start shutting down the conversation.
Only SHE can shut down conversations. Only HER opinion is correct. If you attempt to end a conversation she won't allow it unless SHE wants it to end, if she keeps talking and it gets worse somehow that's YOUR fault too.
I really don't know how to deal with her and never have, but I'm tired of it going that way if we talk longer than 10 minutes.
Teal how about animal spirits is there anything about Insects with Oconee
Interesting, but cant be use with a person who always begin to yell when you say your first sentence and it always finish by being your fault😢
further dialogue exists in few individuals can engage but seems most dialogue soars under or over ones radar, how to grab ones attention?
Image trying to have a conversation about moving forward, when the person you are talking to stonewalls you and refuses to gives their prospective. Then accusing you of starting fights, or just flat out lying to your face. Maybe it's time to walk away?
Tealll what to do if I can’t get myslef to reframe my beleifs? Doing it feels painful and stressful. Like schoolwork. And I know I should change that ..bt that’s the point! Is there no temporary coping maybe?IF ANYONE ELSE HAS AN ANSWER PLS FEEL FREE TO REPLY ❤❤ ID BE SO GLAD
ok what about having everything in order with a tidy house river giving one a ocd reward? or is that reward just a control seeking behavior with having control on one’s surroundings? is it unfair to get upset about the other not respecting that?
This can help my marriage…I hope. My wife does this c constantly regardless of what I change
You are amazing🩷Thank you
Wen the oder part in the situation is not willing to face the real deal. She just not interested on get in a end point.
She just wanna do nothing about it, and keep going on reflame.
How to manage wen the oder envolved is not avable?
What if it’s all 3??
Teal, there is something that's very confusing to me about what you are teaching in terms of male-female relationships. As a woman, you can't go around accepting providership from all kinds of random men without them thinking that you are also hinting at a "yes" going to bed with them. Therein lies the problem. You accept something nice from a man and then you have to waste an unpredictable amount of time trying to put this man down gently to affirm that, no, you do not find them romantically attractive. I would love to just be able to say "no," and that being accepted at face value graciously, but that's not how men are in reality.
I like having male friends but males never want to be just friends, they always have ulterior motives and are scheming about how to get what they want instead of being gracious about it.
💚💚💚
I love this woman for some reason..teal swan is the smartest woman ... Such a baby.
Dopo due anni di prigionia è ora di tornare a casa. Teal what do you do?
I had an ex it would go like this:
Your having a circular conversation
You keep interrupting let me finish
Your having a circular conversation
Your interrupting again let me finish
Your having a circular conversation
STOP INTERRUPTING IM NOT FINISHED TALKING
your having a circular conversation
LET ME FINISH!!!
''circular'' needs to be named, in Case ''2 Individuals are on the same Plane'' so to say, ''hold the very same Role'', otherwise a ''Spiral'' is active, where the ''upper Part'' behaves so to say, as the ''lower Part'' and this is ''wrong'', ideally speaking, despite the ''lower'' Part may be ''qualitatively higher'' than the officially ''higher Part'', cfr. in the Tale ''the Emperor's new Clothes'' by Don Juan Manuel of some 700 Years ago, later published again by Hans Christian Andersen, a ''Collector'' of ''prestigious, noble Novels'', and the ''upper Level'' was the ''King'' who was ''lower'' actually, than the ''Level of the Kid, belonging to the 'general Public' actually'', who was ''allegedly lower than the higher royal King'', and yet, he was actually ''qualitatively higher'' than the ''King'';
in that Case ''circular'' is an ''Illusion'', and one needs to ''understand'' what ''Level'' of the ''Spiral'' needs to ''take a Step'' toward ''more Nobility'' so to put it, in order to ''properly address 'Problems' and thereafter, to 'solve' them'' (Answer: ''pray G.d and expect to be 'enlightening', whatever 'Role' is held'', and ''as Things are now and have been for 700 Years at least'', never expect to be ''praised'' in Case the own ''Intervention'' is ''qualitatively higher'' than the ''Intervention'' of some, alleged ''officially appointed'', Official of some ''higher Rank'').
''Salvation'' to everyone, simultaneously.
❤❤❤
There are three types of geometric figures in romantic relationships that breaks its balance: parallel lives, vicious circles and love triangles.
My 2 cents of wisdom.
🙏🙏💚
It’s why people say:
“We will have to agree to disagree”…
-as a way to say there is no conversation.
A lot of times conversations have ended and people keep talking.
❤
Thank you Teal!☘️🌿🌸🩵
To end any conversation, i have no problem turning my back on someone & walking away while they are talking. Its tried & true. If i dont give a fuhk, i have no desire to act as if i do.
Well if anyone’s an expert on circular conversations it’s Teal
All very good but does anything actually get done..
More
-t.s yes u didn't ask but yes ii Like your u hair did done and-
-your dress is a pretty coLor with you-
💖
I drink your word's like water.
🙏🗝🔥⛓️💥⏳️
I cannot have the same arguments bc I will get cancer
God exists. How do you know? The Bible says so. How do you know the Bible is true? God said so.
Let me help you.
1 John 4:7
Beloved ones, let us continue loving one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born from God and knows God
@@S.G.W.Verbeekyou just used the bible as 'proof' though
@@jenster29
What are the most triggering verses in the Bible to you?
Matthew 5:21-22
²¹"You heard that it was said to those of ancient times: ‘You must not murder, but whoever commits a murder will be accountable to the court of justice.’ ²²However, I say to you that everyone who continues wrathful with his brother will be accountable to the court of justice; and whoever addresses his brother with an unspeakable word of contempt will be accountable to the Supreme Court; whereas whoever says, ‘You despicable fool!’ will be liable to the fiery Ge·henʹna.
How do you know God said so? Because a bunch of ancient people nobody knows said so. Gotcha.
How about, listen to your heart instead of the words of man. Discern.
Last
Go deeper 😅
Meglio non iniziare per primi contro Alfonso, lasciamo perdere, pazienza tanto lunedì prossimo è finita, cambio tutte le regole e lui sarà solo un ricordo. Ehy what do you think Venice Beach in Los Angeles, California?
Is she describing when a parent brings home another baby? Or is she describing a divorce?
❤🔥
You are making this too complex...
If the conversation is boring, just say so!
When you cater to people, they just lay their burden on you.
💚♥️❤️🩹
Teal I would love to see you on 'buddah at the gas pump' hosted by Rick Archer