we could even get a more mystery scene, where omni man suddenly knows her from some reason and asks how shes holding up. Making a retroperspectivly very sinister scene of Omni Man.
@@joel0joel0 Unless the writers somehow address this in season 2, they really fumbled the bag with Amber’s writing in the show. As for the re-write, I like it a lot more than what the show did.
@@bluerascal370 i meant retrospectectivly when you would rewatch the re-written season one and then seeing this scene and thinking damn. And sure the ruined amber without any saving potential, they should have sticked to the comic for this one.
Amber: “Mark have you seen 4Chan!? They found a flag in the middle of the desert using only map knowledge and Flight data. You are gonna get found out as soon as someone gets suspicious.”
Damn, not only did you give Amber a reason for the way she acted with Mark, but you added to Mark's character by giving Mark another flaw of being careless with his identity. Top notch my guy!
@@hdhgjhjdvj Making the show more realistic if anything. They already tried to explain away why they are so dogshit at protecting their identities with the "If you don't expect it you don't see it" nonsense. That it didn't work on Amber because she *knows* what her father does to protect his identity would actually make that seem more realistic by reinforcing that it took special circumstances for it to happen. That Amber saw through Invincible, when he actually does mask pretty much his entire face, really butchers the idea that hundreds of heroes manage to have hidden identities when they walk around with their face clearly visible on the job. If you want to claim that people suck at discovering secret identities, you should reinforce the extenuating circumstances that are actually required.
@@dig8634 the "if you don't expect it you don't see it" isn't dogshit, it's actually pretty accurate, a little change of hairstyle, clothes, glasses etc can actually make people look wildly different, and also our brian works by focusing on things and filtering other things out, if you're not expecting something u usually will miss it
So in your treatment of this plotline, Amber makes several interesting and valid critiques of Mark's character and the writing of the show as a whole. That's actually badass.
It also falls in line with the overall arc of his character throughout the comicbook series, that is that he tends to follow his feelings and immediately jump in to save the day without thinking of the repercussions or how it impacts the people close to him.
Holy Shit I was already sold with the "youre so bad at hiding your identity it puts me at risk" part. That is a selfish reason to be mad about, but its a logical one. When you revealed DarkWing was her father it blew my mind. Yes, they should have done this in the show.
Making her an even more one dimensional perfect character. No. Tell you what, just give her the powers then she can show Mark how is done. This is the show I think you guys would create.
I was actually already convinced at the “you’re bad at hiding your identity part” the Darkwing stuff is a cool twist but already her being mad at him because he sucks at hiding his identity is good enough for me.
Yeah but with Dark Wing being her dad now Mark has another reason to hate his dad. Could even be a new line where Mark screams "You took my girlfriends dad from her!" And Omniman replies "Are you really that mad that I made your pet cry?"
@@MrDrewwills dude that had me gasp and imagining a beat down….that mark will still lose but hey he had a chance fueled by pure rage by literally everything. There is no redemption atm
@@MrDrewwills Mark: You took away fathers… Husbands… Caring, loving people that trusted you with their lives… Nolan: Please, you’re acting like their kind doesn’t do that to themselves everyday, like thousands of species across the universe don’t do it. Humanity is not special. No one is. There is only one thing that drives this universe, and it’s power. They weren’t powerful enough. They weren’t *TITLE CARD*
lol. I see this a lot with most of my dramatic writing. I'm never sure if I need to do anything about it. Obviously I write very 'anime' cause that's most of the stuff I like. I'm just not sure if cheese is inherent to that and it can be fixed. Cause I feel like alot of my favourite anime moments are cheesy, but it's kinda inseparable from what I love about it.
@@Uniquenameosaurus Cheese is good. Do it with flair, and people love it. Half-ass it and it gets annoying. Then again, I am a Symphogear fan, so yeah. Bias.
@@Uniquenameosaurus Cheese is nice when it comes from a character and it kinda makes sense. It makes them feel a little bit genuine, people are rather awkward and narmy specially when they're showing some vulnerability imo.
Oh yes, this version of amber is genuinely brilliant. A perfect mix of selfishness and selflessness, a really human reaction. It also sets up amber into potentially being a significant character later on, depending on if its needed.
I tought that. Until every friend treated mark as being in the wrong and amber as being perfect and untouchable. This isn't a character flaw, It's a character writing flaw
I love this version as opposed to the canonical one. Would also explain her overachieving stance on community work and helping the needy. She idolizes her father so much that she wishes she could be a superhero too, but charity work is the closest she can ever get to that mantel. I'd actually feel for her in that regard, but in the actual show, I couldn't help but think of her as an overachieving tryhard who walked around as if she shat gold bricks. Bravo! I enjoyed your rewrite of her story.
The canonical one is the comic. The show is some dipshit's attempt at telling the creator of a comic that is selling well enough to be picked up for an animated show that they don't know how to write. The show writers should have their asses kicked.
Digging deeper, her charity work can also be aimed at people most affected by collateral damage. This will add even more subtext to what it meant to be a hero, and what are they actually fighting fo
as is written canon she is *the worst person* BECAUSE of her charity work. She understands the concept of giving of yourself to help people in need, but she's mad at Mark for giving of himself to save literally thousands of lives? If her anger at Mark even just stemmed from a place of jealousy - that it made her feel like her own efforts to help people were meaningless and she was just not dealing with those emotions in a healthy way, sure, but the way its presented isn't that. They went the worst route@@charliebrown6648
This. This is gold. Your writing turns Amber from "I'm mad because you didn't tell me" to "i'm mad because telling me would have made no difference since you're such a bad liar". I love that her argument is more founded in something more palpable. Of course, trusting your partner in a relationship is essential, but originally Amber didn't even consider Mark's side, trying to juggle his life. On the other side of the scale we have Amber, with a constantly vanishing boyfriend, but no matter how much, the Amber i saw in the show was putting too much weight on her side. In this version of the story, she really understands Mark and worries about him, without being completely selfless. 10/10 Headcanon would brainwash myself to replace the show
Or ....(Here is my version) The way we could have made it work is set it up in the following episodes. In season 2 how about this scenario? Amber tells Mark that she didn't break up because he lied. She actually lied about why she was mad to push Mark away. And her reason for doing this is because she finds out later on in the relationship that she couldn't deal with the fact that Mark was a Superhero. The idea that Mark could be dead at any second by the hands of dangerous criminals frightened her. And because she loves him so much she felt she couldn't come to Mark honestly about it. So she blamed Mark something out of his control. And then Mark eventually has to ask why did she even bothered to come back? And then Amber says she originally told herself that she wasn't going to under any circumstances but 1000s of people dying and Mark finding out Nolan is murdering psychopath was too much to ignore. And she felt that Mark needed someone to care for him at this tough time and she really cares for him.
@@SuperMurray2009 this is a cannon that can work the videos script is really good but the problem is that it can't be implemented in the existing story but yours can
Biggest thing is that you made Amber's reasoning more selfless than selfish. An audience will be more forgiving of a character's flawed logic if they have a sympathetic reason. Amber's original reason was incredibly selfish an entitled, which was really the driving factor of why people started to hate her.
@Daniel Meyer honestly I feel like they could've made her mad that he was bad at being a boyfriend and a superhero at the same time and that would have made her instantly way less hateable. I think the "selfishness" would come from a much more understandable place bc she's not obligated to date someone who isn't there for her. "I hate that you lied" implies she's not smart enough or doesn't care enough about why anyone would hide their identity as a superhero from they people they care about.
@@TheDareelliltee It would still be a place of entitlement and selfishness, not to mention another case of lack of awareness. Do women who date soldiers really get surprised when their men are stationed at far away places for months? IF she knew Mark was a superhero, and given that they live in a world of superheroes, it would have pretty obvious that expecting Mark to be the person to balance everything would be too much. Its not a simple "work-life balance" - there are lives at stake. Ignoring an attack on civilians is not the same as ignoring a call from work when you are with you bae.
@@scientia.veritas there are stories about cheating wives while their husband is faraway because of work. I like Amber because she's entitled, lacks self-awareness, and makes it Mark's problem. And because she's a woman you're expected to understand. There *are* people like that, they aren't good people, even if they can be well-meaning. It's a trap, same as the famous manipulative "nice guy", and I like that the show talked about it without giving us the solution on a platter.
@@scientia.veritas I mean, I think their point still applies with the soldier-simily. No, people who date soldiers shouldn't be surprised when their significant other is sent to another country and isn't there for them. That doesn't mean that they *have* to stay with the soldier. You get to know someone, like them, find out they're a soldier and they get sent away for months, "ah well maybe we can work it out", and poof - some people can't work it out. That's not selfish or entitled in and off itself. If they did the Amber and screamed in their face for not being there for them, yes, that is shitty. But calmly stating that they can't commit to that is understandable, nobody is forced to stay with someone they've been dating for a couple of months.
The advice would have been the biggest take away from this scene. It's something Mark could've taken to heart as he starts to grow as a hero later on. Heck, it even fits into the theme of "What it means to be a hero," by adding in a new perspective.
Or ....(Here is my version) The way we could have made it work is set it up in the following episodes. In season 2 how about this scenario? Amber tells Mark that she didn't break up because he lied. She actually lied about why she was mad to push Mark away. And her reason for doing this is because she finds out later on in the relationship that she couldn't deal with the fact that Mark was a Superhero. The idea that Mark could be dead at any second by the hands of dangerous criminals frightened her. And because she loves him so much she felt she couldn't come to Mark honestly about it. So she blamed Mark something out of his control. And then Mark eventually has to ask why did she even bothered to come back? And then Amber says she originally told herself that she wasn't going to under any circumstances but 1000s of people dying and Mark finding out Nolan is murdering psychopath was too much to ignore. And she felt that Mark needed someone to care for him at this tough time and she really cares for him.
@@SuperMurray2009 you’d have to fix ALOT of scenes with her in it and would also go against what she was pissed at in the beginning which is that he lied. Which is hypocritical but hey that is her character afterall
Personally I don't think Amber has to explain her dad's history as much as you have her do. Just say "Darkwing was my dad... he taught me how important hiding your identity is, and someone *still* killed him. I don't want what happened to him to happen to me... or you. No matter what I do I can't stop loving superheroes"
i mean that's fair but going into more detail would also allow for more cutscenes with darkwing which under the context of him dying could be a real gutpunch to the emotions and also make the fight with omniman more cathartic. I feel like your version cuts the scene to short for how big it is
I also think the voice acting should be better and the animations should match it. This video isn't trying to show a completed scene, just a high-level alternative script.
Honestly when the scene first played with Amber saying she already knew, I did first think she was going to say something to this effect of "You are terrible at hiding your identity and I am not dumb enough to think that I would never, ever be in danger if you got found out." because that alone feels way more on point with the characterization of her the series had laid out previously.
the best analogy I can think of is a girl you've been dating for 6 months gets upset that you don't trust her enough to tell her all your bank details and passwords
more like the girl you lied for 6 months straight gets pissed at that you keep trying to come back and still lie, wheter its justified or not, mark could just not date amber lol
@@bambi20082148 yeah but he literally had the best excuse available. Imagine being able to say the reason you were late for Every date is because your saving lives. I realize she couldn't have known and getting stood up would hurt. But when the reveal comes up that she knew he was a superhero makes her rage seem selfish. She could have even said I'm not a big enough person to date a superhero and the more I think about it the more it scares me and it would've been fine. Amber apologists suck
@@bambi20082148 Mark wanted to tell Amber earlier but Eve talked him out of it. To be fair yeah Mark shouldn't string her along, but it's literally a secret identity that could effect her, and his whole life. That's the kind of secret you want to tell someone you want to commit too. Which I like to remind you he wanted to tell her earlier
The secrecy of your bank account information would have no effect on you flaking a hypothetical girlfriend, but a super hero identity most certainly would
Oh God, imagine if this was the case, then we get to Mark realizing his dad was the one who murdered Amber's father during the confrontation and Omniman's only response is just cold indifference.
Oh shit, then that gives Amber even more reasons as to why she would break up with him, knowing that her boyfriend’s father is the one who killed her dad and is most likely going to kill her too, whether it’s because Omni man doesn’t want Mark to fall in love with a human or because he wants Mark to lose his attachment for humanity even more by killing his significant other who happens to be human. Just to show him that that relationship would have never lasted anyway because he’ll outlive her so it wouldn’t make a difference if she lived or not.
Omni man should say something that is caring but is completely inhuman like: "That is a shame, she was a cute partner." or "Night Wing was hardly a fight, I could have left him alive, but what then, he still grows old and dies?"
It’s sucks cause amber in the comics is such a great character. She’s understanding and she gives the relationship a shot after finding out. It doesn’t work out eventually because she can’t deal with the constant worry and stress of him being in danger. She also can’t deal with him being away for extended periods of time. They both naturally drift apart and break up on good terms.
@@tomarchru8528 At the same time, she WAS a 16-17 year old girl, I don't think being unreasonable or overdramatic is a weird thing. Teenagers are stupid.
@@alt-q1y Teenagers are stupid for a good reason, they're young immature reflections of their environment. why is Mark an amateur hero who does more harm than good because he acts before he thinks while she's an overzealous 'I'm based' token character? The show ultimately failed at representation on her part, that's how. No one cares that Mark's half Asian, bro's basically full viltrumite and embodies the 'he's got the right spirit, but he ain't the man' archetype from his idolisation of his Superman-like father... which then shatters his entire world upon the realisation that image was a lie from the start (with tidbits of truth that grow over time.) Her on the other hand? Soup kitchens and outrage. If, as this video suggested (as people in comments have said), this was based off her OWN idolisation of her OWN hero father? An ordinary man that got himself killed by a demi-god? While she as a soup kitchen worker trying to live up to his legacy dates that demi-god's son? Jesus Christ man, that's heavy! And interesting... and lost potential.
When you said "Darkwing was my dad" I was just like "well her dad being Darkwing Duck WOULD be a twist" because it's been too long and I didn't remember what the names of the murdered heroes were.
I'll be honest, when you started with it, I was thinking this might be weak, until the reveal came up. That was amazing, and you are amazing! This definitely fixed it, and then some.
As a fellow writer who seeks to iron out plot inconsistencies and the like, you really nailed this one. If I make this my headcanon, Amber becomes way more likeable. It's another departure from the comics, but I'm all for plot alterations that actually strengthen the overall story!
Except the only flaw is that it is never stated in the show that Amber knew Mark was a superhero the entire time. All she says is that she knew Mark was a superhero for weeks. If she knew the entire time, why would she say weeks instead of months or just say “I knew the entire time” if she knew the entire time?
@@mangamandrew Or the fact that she constantly rails on mark for not valuing her but as soon as she dumps him she goes after another guy. She clearly doesn't value him as much either so what she does is also hypocritical
@@liebeasta3332 If Mark is not valuing Amber in the relationship, that is not a good thing on Mark’s part. And sure, she goes for another guy but are you saying that people after a break up are bad people because they get a rebound partner? She broke up with Mark because Mark was the reason why the relationship was falling apart. Just because she flirts with another guy does not mean she does not value Mark. Heck, we see that when she returns from the party, she waits for mark to talk yo her showing that she still wanted to be with Mark but he had to make it shown because they problems in the relationship all stem from Mark.
I L.O.V.E your rewriting. The start could be shortened and less eloquent, but everything by the "they're both pissed" section is _perfection_ Now, IMAGINE she stopped at "Darkwing was my father" bawled more, said get out, then _screamed get out,_ making Mark leave, along with the audience, to process that information. Then the Darkwing backstory only comes in when she returns to Mark by the end of the show, finally putting the scene into full perspective
Giving amber the role of being darkwing’s daughter actually gave us a reason to feel for her, to actually understand the reason behind what she does whether we agree with it or not
The decision to go with shocking twist writing instead of paying off a set up arc will never stop being infuriating. The thing that makes me happy and excited is how much backlash to it there was online, and I hope that they justify it in season 2. Also another brilliant thing this does is humanizes more of the Guardians. Their deaths serve the narrative amazingly, but besides the Flash and Martian Manhunter stand ins you feel nothing for them personally. This gives the audience and Mark another personal and visceral reason to hate Omniman.
Yeah, the Guardians' deaths were more shocking because of the gore than because they were characters I cared about and they still are. I don't really give a shit about any of them because most of them were connected to no one but one another and confined to the first episode
@@47ratsinahoodie the fight doesnt even make sense. omni-man would have killed red rush first. cause he is the only one fast enough to react to his speed. in the comics omni-man killed each of them with one strike and he didn't even get injured. its really annoying, cecil should have known he was guilty from the start and should have sent for brick to snap his neck while he was in a coma.
Yeah why do so many movie writers not understand that you need to set up a twist. You need to balance not giving it away and yet making sense and revealing something in hindsight or in a rewatch. Which is very difficult but just not setting it up just results in garbage.
@@roiking2740 You have to remember that the comic writers didn't know where they would take the story. The author has publicly agreed with the showrunner's decision to make the Guardians more of a threat to Omni-Man, because otherwise he wouldn't have needed to take them out the way he did. If they were never any threat to him and he could just steamroll all of them without breaking a sweat, then there wouldn't have been any reason for him to be stealthy or lie about it. At least in the context of the show and the end-game of the comic.
@@Tawleyn but it makes him worse. it makes the threat lesser specially if you take spoilers into account. in addition to messing up the plot with the investigation. also the point of taking out the guardians is not because they are a threat its because vultrum want to force earth to surrender instead of putting up a fight. yes they are that arrogant.
Using Dark Wing for this rewrite is a great play here. Having Amber connected to a hero helps justify her realizing Mark's identity and gives her a standard to hold Mark up to. It gives more meaning to the lives of the guardians of the globe, which had very little characterization. Mark isn't just a bad boyfriend, he's a bad hero, which ties in with his doubts about being a hero later in the show. Well done.
hmmm. When Mark lost the fight to battle beast and he was in hospital. Amber was upset he didn't show up to the soup kitchen. she found out that Mark was in hospital, she was told that he got hit by a bus and had the injuries to prove it but the soup kitchen was more important to her rather than her boyfriend. the fact that she constantly rails on mark for not valuing her but as soon as she dumps him she goes after another guy. She clearly doesn't value him as much either. She's a flat character, a hypocritical asshole.
Honestly, all they had to do was make amber’s reactions to him “flaking” somewhere between calm, and exasperated. That way when she finally does confront him, it leaves room for it being more about her understanding the situation, and yet the relationship with a super has proven too stressful for her over time, and left her feeling alone and anxious, despite her supporting his heroic decisions. This would’ve made the breakup way more nuanced, relatable, and tragic. And it would’ve given her character a flaw that feels genuine, while she is a good person doing continuous good deeds for her community, it could be that she’s become addicted to the feeling to helping others, almost like it’s her main source of dopamine. But in Mark’s world, the feeling of overwhelming helplessness, and being confronted with a person who has to save the world on a regular basis, could’ve messed with amber’s sense of service to those in need to the point of being overwhelmed. Because, of this newfound sense of helplessness, she HAS to break it off with Mark. Boom fixed amber
I really like this because, even if it wasn't your intent, having Darkwing have a family and allowing us to meet them adds even more depth to their deaths, and a bitter irony to them not knowing Mark's dad killed Amber's dad. I know we get to see Red Rush's girlfriend a few times and the Martian has a kid or something but it's not super interesting. I mean a girlfriend and a random kid you spend time with is a lot different from a daughter. Omni-man's murders didn't just take super heroes out f the world, it took away people's loved ones. What I really want to know is how she'd react to learning that after Mark and Omni-man have their big fight and all the cards on on the table. I actually think it'd be a great reason for her to get back together with him. In the show, her getting back with him after nothing about their relationship changed really irked me. But in this version, it's not really Mark that needs to change (outside of being more careful) but rather it is Amber's fear of losing someone she loves again that needs to be overcome. Maybe seeing Mark stand up to the man that killed her father and (kind of) win puts her at ease, maybe her love for him makes her willing to put her fear aside, maybe she finds solidarity in them both having lost their fathers, maybe all of the above. Or maybe the reveal makes it too hard to be with him and they DON'T get back together. Either way, I know for a fact it would have been more satisfying than what we got.
The dialogue that preceded the subversion felt a little "fix-ficcy." Like someone who watched the show analyzed everything and took note of all the misplays. That bit could probably use a cleanup to make it snappier and sound more natural. But the dialogue after the subversion packed a nice punch. I like how it resolved with more of a somber tone, so that the breakup came across as more mutual by the end.
Yeah. Don't use such specific examples, and maybe tidy up the dialogue so it feels more natural. But in it's defense, this is something that Amber in the rewrite has been worried about for months.
@@Birthday888 I think mixing in some examples that we didn't see in the show would feel more like it's coming from someone who lives in the world. Rather than someone who's only seen it from our perspective.
I like the idea that Mark actually argues back and has issues of his own with Amber's take on things. Like you said it makes the breakup feel more mutual.
The fix also causes further issues due to the scene at the start of the series where Amber blackmailed the bully to force the bully to give Mark her number. If you want to fully fix Amber, there are more scenes to fix than just the college attack and the "shocking twist" scene...
I think one of the important things with this rewrite: You can recognise that she's not 100% in the right. Because that was always the biggest issue: The writers thought "Amber right, Mark wrong." With 0 nuance, and thus 0 need (in their minds) to make Amber's position well written. They just had every character Say she's right. (Damaging those characters in the process. I wound up really disliking Mark's friend that episode too.) While in this, they both have understandable, self-justified reasons for their actions. The audience can understand both positions, and is allowed to think for themselves.
@calemr I feel like people just want to empathize with mark too hard so they want her to be shown as wrong too. She doesn't need to be portrayed as, even partially, in the wrong to be written better. They could have changed her reasoning to be that Mark is bad at being a hero and a boyfriend at the same time, and that she gave him plenty of time to do better but her patience has run out. That way they could have done the "I knew all along" twist AND made her not hateable. The show is supposed to be about Mark learning to be a superhero as well as what it can cost him. So if he needs this emotional ass whooping for doing it wrong, so he can do it better later, that's fine imo.
@@TheDareelliltee She is still in the wrong, in your version. He's sacrificing his life to save other people. Getting mad at him for that Is understandable, but it's still Shitty. Let's be clear here, Any argument about "I don't like how much time you spend heroing." is "I want people to die for my convenience."
@@calemr how is breaking up with someone because they won't spend even a reasonable amount of time with you shitty? There are real world jobs where people don't have enough time to spend with others, being a superhero just makes so that mark REALLY shouldn't seek out relationships if he's just going to ignore them for something else. In my scenario she's with him despite knowing he's a hero and decides to give him time to work it out. She already said she knew for weeks. She's not obligated to put up with him just because he's a hero. If Mark had played like she was then that would be manipulative, which is probably why they didn't have Mark fight back harder.
It's interesting to see something like this in an early conceptual phase, because the idea is there, but the scene is so long and expository. It obviously needs a lot of editing before it'll start to feel right.
@@phonesjuda7318: Nolan's explanation to Mark about where he really comes from is shorter than this. There are other shows that work well with drawn out monologues, but Invincible is too snappy; it needs an editor to make it feel less expository and more natural.
To be fair, he isnt just saying dialogue, he's also reading out what they're doing and explaing in depth how they act and move while reading the script.
Gahh this is soooo good. This also works as a fantastic twist on the trope of hiding their secret identity to protect loved ones. Mark doesn't even have one because he worries about that possibility, he just has one because thats what superheroes do. Omniman also never stresses this importance to him so it works perfectly. The original subversion of her knowing plus a twist on the trope would have made this a legendary moment in television. Fuuuck why can't this be really the way it happened. I'm not entirely convinced by the darkwing addition but It certainly would add an new interesting dynamic of his dad killing her dad.
God, the added comic book angle just makes this Amber soooo much more likable. Amber in the show acts so high and mighty, likes she’s above everything. But with this, the reveal of her love of comics and superheroes gives us such an endearing and vulnerable part of her character
Darkwing being her father was a neat twist. Also might have been too dramatic, with the half-burned comics, but the logic she uses is much better here, and I genuinely feel like this was a better way to handle Amber having known Mark's identity.
I’ve been an Invincible fan for several years. I waited anxiously for this show to come out, and I was pleasantly surprised with how well it turned out. The way they changed Amber was definitely one of my biggest issues. Your rewrite is... so much better than what they came up with. I appreciate that you have criticism for yourself, but I would like to take a moment to share my thoughts. Yes, your Amber is a little over-reactive. So is Show Amber. The overreactivity isn’t the issue, it’s the motivation behind the reaction. A teenager mourning her father’s death, discovering new love, and trying to reconcile the potential disaster where those two things intersect isn’t going to know what to do and will probably just shut down. Not only is this understandable, but it pays off down the line when SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE COMICS Amber over corrects and chooses a new boyfriend who is completely unlike Mark or her father. A boy who isn’t a superhero, doesn’t have ambition, and is so diametrically opposite that he physically abuses her. Her trauma tells her “this isn’t someone who will get targeted by super villains and he’s not so bad that he will be targeted by super heroes.” This opens up an avenue for the writers to take a more nuanced look into why victims of domestic abuse, even the ones who seem like they would be “too strong and smart”, stick around. The same overreactive trait that makes her run from Mark evolves into a trait that keeps her chained to an abusive relationship. Comic Amber was framed as submissive from the get-go, so it was believable then. Show Amber will leave someone who she knows is a superhero because he did her wrong just a little bit. It will not be believable that she can be manipulated into an abusive relationship. Your Amber is a more believable, relatable, and realistic approach than either one of the two. And that level of drama fits very snugly into the overall tone of the comic (essentially a soap opera with super heroes). Very well done.
Skipped the spoilers part but even without her grieving her dad the simple and easy change form "you don't trust me with one of your most valuable secrets " to "you're putting me in danger" makes the whole thing soooo much better. Like maybe you can say she's overreacting but it's more than a valid reason to be upset.
This is a really good rewrite. Villians would obvisously want an easier way to work arpund heroes and getting personally identifying information to either blackmail or sucker punch them would be a very effective way to do that. Considering that invincible as a series tries to make itself more realistic, Im genuinely suprized that something like that isn't in there. Even Eve mentions to him several times that hes really bad at managing the double life thing and how serious his secret indentity is.
“It’s hard to find a good reason for someone to lie (or withhold truth) to their significant other and then be frustrated at them for not getting it at the same time.” I’ve been struggling to find these words and argue them with a couple friends. Thank you.
Dude, give yourself more credit. I didn’t think anyone could fix this without completely rewriting several events in the story. You gave a pretty simple fix, maintained the original twist, and then added another twist with Darkwing. I’m adding this to me personal head canon.
While not a bad fix, in fact its a cool one, I feel like it would require a lot of changing. The big problem I, and I feel most had, was that Amber's position is treated by the show as wholly correct. Not only does Invincible have no argument against Amber, but no one takes his side with everyone he goes to saying "Yeah, you f*%^ed up." To be honest, It would have done the scene better if they kept the selfish reasoning and simply had more realistic reactions. Have invincible point out his position as a hero and the lives he was saving. Have amber express her frustrations of carrying a one side relationship. And have the friends be more neutral to the conflict. Like, you could have the friends be like "Yeah... It sucks what Amber is going through, but at the same time she willingly dated a superhero." Give the scene nuance by having no moral winner.
I'm with you there. Don't get me wrong, Atom definitely should have been on Amber's side, because she's got a horse in the race. But William? Well, I guess he was busy with his own issues coping with his boyfriend being turned into a cyborg. Can't imagine he was doing much empathizing with Mark at the time. But STILL. You're right, somebody should have been on Mark's side. It would have made the whole thing more believable and understandable. But Mark was a terrible boyfriend. Dunno about "got what he deserved." But terrible boyfriend.
@@SirMandokarla I would get Williams reaction if he was taking this as a jab at mark being a terrible superhero who can't control his double life,like how he constantly flakes on his gf to fight crime,but then as soon as his bff needs him to fight crime he chooses his relationship,but William just flat out agrees with amber having the moral high ground Which sucked
@@straightuphating1013 personally I don't have a problem with amber seeming in the right, the show is about Mark learning to be a superhero and what it can cost him, it would muddy the impact of his actions to also try to put blame on her. Other heroes can do it better, so he should learn too. Plus I'm kind of getting the impression that Amber is supposed to be the down-to-earth girl that's good for Mark, so if they gave her the "you don't spend enough time with me" angle then that would be way better than "you lied", because the latter implies that she's somehow not smart enough to understand why he would lie. It would be a good lesson to teach Mark to be more considerate of how being a hero has impact on the people around him.
Well, while I think the Darkwing Dad idea would work and bring us closer to the original Guardians, I feel like it would make Amer too important. Now she wouldn’t be the “normal girl that represents normal life” anymore, but just another part of the super hero world. Here is an alternate idea, that might make the world even darker. And her fear even more personal Her dad did die to a super villain. But not because he was a superhero, but just because he used to date one. This was long before her dad met her mom. But the identity of the Hero, and thus her fathers, got somehow leaked. Which got her father killed in a petty revenge killing. All while the Hero kept going, physically unharmed. This would make her fearing the consequences of a leak, so much more believable. She already knows, what happens if you are close to a Hero. Then during the discussion with Mark, at its most heated she yells: “Well I am not invincible Mark!” “When a bullet hits me in the face, I am dead! You are probably just so used to hanging out around bulletproof Robots, that you forgot just how frail WE are” And this all would come back, when Omniman shows Mark, just how frail they truly are.
The only problem I see with this solution is that it's so on the nose as to suspend disbelief in the audience. "Oh, there's an entirely too convenient reason for her behaviour dropped just at the right time mirroring her own circumstances near 100% that her father went through? Nope, don't believe it." Honestly, if we're going an alternate route, Amber having been something of an online personality or having a secret online presence she didn't want attached to herself and getting doxxed by internet denizens would be a better reason for why she wants Mark to be careful with his identity. As she knows that people don't need to be Private Investigators to find information that can lead to your identity being revealed, and the consequences that can come from it.
I think this is an absolutely brilliant rewrite. I really liked Amber's character up until that one scene where we find out she's myopic and entitled. Up to that point, she's a very no-bullshit down-to-earth character, and this rewrite especially makes her a good foil for Mark. Both of them do good work for their community (superhero work vs soup kitchen/community center work), but Mark can get caught up in the glamor and gradiosity of his own heroism, where Amber has none of that -- she is fully grounded and fully invested in the unglamorous day-to-day needs of the people she helps. It makes so much sense that she gets frustrated with Mark for not getting out of his own head enough to think about how his sloppiness could hurt the people around him. I also like that she's far more human in this version. Her words and actions aren't 100% rational 100% of the way all the time, but neither is anyone's. And it gives so much more depth and perspective on Mark and the world these characters live in. Good work.
Much more reasonable series of reactions. I can sympathize with this Amber, actual human being rather than an entitled brat. Appreciative of what Mark has done, points out actual flaws that he has, and gives clear cut and intelligent reasons for not wanting to continue the relationship and why she tried to make it work. Well done.
Spoiler warning for the comics: It's funny because in the comics one of the big bads even says Mark is really bad at keeping his secret identity and that in something like 40% of alternate dimensions, his identity is revealed.
This would be a solid rewrite, especially given the chance to drop extra hints along the way so the audience has a chance to understand. Ambers ability to be good with grappling, etc is already shown. When Amber was left in Marks room, she could specifically go for Nightwing books and/or go for something clearly more recent. After the reveal, this could also make the following scenes a little more emotionally deep bouncing between Mark, Dad, and Self. The only mixed feelings I have is that Amber is kinda of awesome for being a character who isn't afraid to stare down a Superhero/villian. Nightwing's connection would slightly dull this down for me personally. Yeah, revealing a secret ID that early into a relationship is kind of a big commitment, but it's also a HS relationship. Plenty of those relationships are toxic, irrational, and questionable decisions are abound.
Hmm, maybe Darkwing and Amber don't get along great all the time so she can stand up to superheroes and supervillains but still cares that her father was murdered?
That made me like her again, it's soo much better and make way more sense, it even makes a perfect paralel with Mark and adds to the thematics of the narrative where he tried to follow his father footsteps just to realize his father was not who he belived and that he had to create his own path while Amber tried to run away from her father's legacy just to realize you are never totaly free from your parents influence.
Damn, that was good, even before you added the Darkwing stuff. Her being pissed at him for being bad with his secret identity, and not being able to vocalize it until the situation comes to a head makes much more sense.
Amber in the comics eventually gets a blatant and unnecessary character assassination purely because fans wanted Eve and Mark to be together, I expect cartoon Amber to suffer a similar fate.
Yeah, which sucks. Amber isn't perfect but for fuck's sake the lead female character and lead male character don't always need to get together! (I may or may not be salty at a certain cartoon and its shit love story writing)
Dude your plot twist is literally incredible! If this was the canonical timeline in the animated series, the latest episode of Invincible would have been 1000x more impactful! And Your Amber's feelings during season 1 would have been validated!
I think this works really, dark wing doesn’t have super powers witch could increase the paranoia of standing next to near gods, it’s a character that’s not getting used any more and had some interesting potential with why he was suspicious of Omni man. I like it
This is actually brilliant! it makes her reasoning justifiable, makes her more interesting as a character in general, and if you've read the comics and know of something amber goes through later, it ties into THAT brilliantly as well, nicely done!
This is literal perfection, I've never seen anything like this before, and I LOVE THIS. As weird as it sounds, this is how I see this scene now, THIS is what should have happened, thank you for this.
This is such an interesting idea! Talking about the life of the child of a superhero who just wants a normal life is something never really talked about and having Amber be it is so clever, it shows the differences between Mark and Amber too and how their different superparent changed them. I wish this was canon!
Ambers character was feels like “o she’s so perfect and I’m always wrong” which is almost never the case for high school relationships For real if the last few episodes were to show some of her worst tendencies they did a shit job It just made her character seem more emotional immature and stupid than strong
Yeah the writers were clearly being one sided with who they wanted to be seen in the right (they made all mark friends go amber was right despite her not really) but what’s worse is they made Mark a jerk in order to force the point. Not it showed how mark was being a jerk no they actively forced him to act like a jerk at the start of the reveal scene in order to force the story in that direction. That is one of the worse things you can do force your character to act completely different in order to push a story they want even if it goes against them. Throughout the show mark was shown to be considerate and understanding of when things go serious and in his mind he believed his girlfriend thought he abandoned her to die, he wouldn’t have just gone in expecting her to be back together he would have been way more understanding in her feelings
@@christopherauzenne5023 I think the writers purposefully did it to Amber so they can move towards the direction of mark and eve herring together like in the comics
@@danielshore1457 not really, because first off no matter what you should never force your characters to act against their own character for the sake of the story (your characters are your story so making them act completely different is sorta saying the characters don’t matter). 2nd if they did do it for Mark and eve to end up together why did they make everyone side with Amber when she wasn’t in the right either but is treated as right by everyone and why did they have him & Amber get back together at the end of the season.
@@danielshore1457 yeah, though i have a feeling that use for her is going to be as a brutal shock collateral, either with her getting brutally injured or killed because lets face it, the universe of Invincible is still a brutal place. we have seen it. and other than literally putting her in the background and showing how actually unimportant she is to the overall story, there is not much they can do with her to make her more important to the plot without putting her in the line of fire. which for a non-superhero is a very bad place to be.
I really like the idea of revealing more emotional tie-ins to the deaths of the Guardians. It's one more layer to how horrible Omni-man's actions were, and it reinforces how much those deaths impacted the world. We do have the stuff with Olga and Red Rush, but because Olga isn't well fleshed out I don't find that super emotionally compelling anyways, another aspect that could maybe be improved. It also gives Amber a hell of a lot more needed depth, since as she stands in the show she's basically one of those "strong" female characters who can do no wrong and has no arc. Her dad probably would have given her some training, and maybe she could have beaten Todd up a little more when he was bullying Mark. Spending free time volunteering at a soup kitchen to help in any way she can opposes Omni-man's ideal for Mark that he should only worry about big-fish problems. Amber's attitude towards helping would have been instilled by Darkwing, a hero who fights street-level crime, and also is a foil to Omni-man. Philosophically, Amber would accompany Atom Eve, though probably serve the role better since she doesn't even have superpowers. This twist which was designed to make Amber a likeable character could actually contextualize her into one of the most interesting parts of the story.
This is very awesome. I always read the Amber reveal as her trying to save face somewhat. As in, she suspected he was a superhero because that's a thing in their universe, but when they were in a deeply stressful situation she didn't take her headcanon into account and lashed out at him. This, however, is a much, much better justification and has added plot stuff that doesn't feel overloaded.
Fan-fucking-tastic job! I knew that scene was coming up from spoilers, but it didn't make it any more palatable. Your version is so much more heartfelt than just trying to pull a "one over" on the audience for no reason. The fact that your version also doesn't change the course of the show is also perfect
Idk, the plot twist is very very good, but kinda convoluted, and I feel you would need more foreshadowing than just the added comic scene to make it rewarding. While the idea is good, I can't help but feeling fixing a character should be about little tweakes here and there, not rewriting her entire backstory. (I generally love your ideas and I wouldn't say this if I didn't already know you appreciate criticism, so I hope you won't take this as an insult) If I rewrote it I would erase the thing about she being mad because Mark didn't tell her, instead she's just frustrated because he can't spend time with her because he's busy being a superhero, and add something about how she understands that's entitled from her and how she knows he's saving lives and how she shouldn't be angry but she is and that makes her angry at herself too, maybe even add something about how when she first figured out Mark was a hero she actually loved the idea of dating someone who spends his days saving others, but over time she's realized she just can't be with someone who's always away. I would also modify some of her earlier bursts of anger so that after she yells at Mark she adds something like "I'm... I'm sorry, I don't want to be mad at you, I know you're trying but it's just so frustrating and..." I guess you would also have to rewrite parts of the fight with the robot for this to make sense, maybe she trips while running away and she and Mark exchange a look at that moment, but he still leaves without helping her get up because he has to take care of the robot and that's why she was so angry after, deep down she wants to be Mark's priority and knows she can't, so she breaks up with him because she realized she'll never be more important than his superhero life. "I'm breaking up with you because I'm mad saving the world is more important than spending time with me" is still quite a selfish motivation, but I think by showing she's self aware and mad at herself too for feeling that way, and making it so she didn't tell mark she knew his secret identity because she though she could deal with it, she will still be relatable and thus likeable.
You know now that I think about it the show already has several scenes of her putting up with Mark not showing up or showing up late, you could put emphasis on that, make it so at the beginning she's super understanding, "Oh don't worry, I understand, you were busy.", then slowly she becomes a little more frustrated, but still forgives him for the most part, then she starts showing a bit more that she's angry, at the end of her outbursts adding "I'm sorry, I know you're trying but..." And then when you get to the fight with the robot instead of being mad because "you ran away, you left us" like in canon, you change it to "You left ME!", so we have a throughline seeing how she goes from trying to be the super understanding supportive girlfriend to realizing she can't deal with with dating a superhero and being mad not only at Mark but also at herself, and in the actual breakup just make it so when Mark ask why she didn't say she knew his identity she cries and says "I thought I could deal with it! I thought- I didn't want to be selfish, I tried, I really did, I thought I could... but I can't." you keep the reveal of she knowing, show some of her character flaws, but keep her motivation relatable while only making minor changes to the script.
@@Rynamony Good idea, but part of the point of their breakup (for plot reasons) was so that it was Mark's fault, and with your fix, the breakup would be more of her fault imo
I thought about this, what do u think?: I had another idea, much more simple and less criative than the video's, which can be both a good and a bad thing as I though the video's idea was a little too convoluted. We keep everything exactly the same as the show did up to their last argument, when Amber reveals she is mad at Mark not because he lied to her, but instead because he used of the same lies as her former best friend did. It turns out her best friend was also a superhero and Amber never figured it out until it was too late. With the lies that Mark told her (very similar to her friend's lies), she started to realize who Mark was, but she was not certain and did not want to believe in it, as it would be too painful. When Mark and Amber start arguing, she tells him that he was doing the exact same as her former friend and that it was not okay. Lying to her on a day by day basis, and then one day he would die, and not come back, and she would be left alone. After her friend died this way, she had to do therapy and etc, and what Mark is doing is just not okay, he's completely ignoring her feelings in their relationship, and then they break up and Mark feels bad about himself. So the scenes and their consequences would be the same as in the show, besides the exact reason why they fought. obs: She getting mad at him missing the dates and at his excuses was not because she believed in them, but instead because she was starting to realize he was a superhero and she did not want to believe in that, so she got mad.
Ehh I think this one places too much blame on amber mark was partly to blame too. I don’t think you should go into a relationship hiding something so important from your SO way too dangerous
@@ElfosDeMordor Good point!!! I guess part of why I made it so much more of her fault in my rewrite is that... I genuinely don't think Mark was at fault? At least not with how they portrayed the relationship in the show. He failed to show up several times, but as stablished that's what you deal with when dating a superhero. Hmmm the only think I can think about that would make it his fault would be that because of failing to hide his identity some villain attacks him while he's on a date with her, so she wouldn't just be feeling like she isn't a priority but also worry about her safety, something like "I'm risking my life by dating you and you won't even tell me the reason we were attacked!" ....BUT that would need adding an entire new episode, or seriously changing one of the already existing ones.... Hmmmm I'll need more time to think about how to make her motivation for breaking up sympathetic without heavily altering the overall characterization and backstories, the fact she knew all along, and not altering the script of the rest of the show outside of a couple lines here and there, and also make it so Mark has at least 50% of the blame..... 🤔🤔🤔
I love the irony of her line about losing Mark given that the whole problem countless worlds have with Viltrumites is that they just can't die. Even with one of the most terrifyingly resilient beings in the galaxy and Amber still worries she'll lose him, and she almost did to the same man who took her father; who is coincidentally Mark's own father. And even more ironic is that this fear of losing everything you love is one of Nolan's own fears and one of his main points to convince Mark, his iconic "What will you have in 500 years" and "Everything you love will crumble away" are born from this same fear. It really just ties everything together.
I think they wanted her to be less of a damsel, so they made her smart enough to figure it out. They wanted a perfect and capable girl, hence why she’s such a charity case. This goal also carried over to Debbie. She started off with a job, and managed to dig in and find out omniman did it. Somehow she managed to piece together what the federal government couldn’t.
The difference is that with Debbie they did an amazing job and actually made her a great character, with Amber they failed miserably and she's a very hated character as a result.
Yes and no. Cecil already knew Nolan did it, he just wanted to play dumb until they found a way to stop him. Debbie only started to suspect Nolan through Damien Darkblood’s notes. As for Amber, I feel like this whole situation could’ve been avoided if they did a better job foreshadowing her knowing Mark was Invincible, as well as change that whole scene at the college.
Something like this would also potentially set up Mark and Amber having a more professional relationship than an intimate one. After his fight with Omni-man, she would see how his world had been shattered every bit as much as hers. And they could both probably help each other reignite their determination to take superhero work seriously and take comfort from each other when they both feel like throwing in the towel. Amber could teach Mark about more practical parts of hero work outside of power uses, like keeping yourself covert. And Mark could probably talk into not giving up in the idea of heroism. Maybe she could be the bright new recruit at the GDF or a hero like Black Samson was. Honestly, that would make for an even greater subversion. Having them go from sweethearts to a more platonic relationship.
Wow... I mean WOW, that is one HELL of a storyline. And even tho this is just a "presentaition of the idea" this gaved me the same feeling as I feel during well done emotinal moments. Like syriesly, to say your interpretation is more than GOOD , would been an understatement.
Very good solve. Amber's character wasn't compelling in the comic book, or the show, but what you did was extremely impressive. Things like this make me excited to see what you do with your own content.
True but I think the way their relationship ends in the comics is compelling since you don't really that in comics. They just talk realise they don't want to be together anymore for various reasons and break up amicably no drama necessary.
@@T-Jex atleast she accepted him being a superhero in the comic. While the comic's Amber was flawed, the animated version didn't do justice either in both appearance and writing. Much like gender swaps happening at other characters, Amber's appearancr change was more drastic. Dunno why they have to do it other than the VA is black irl.
@@makmakg242 they literally broke up for the same reason. She knew he was a superhero and she got mad that he was busy saving people rather than being with her. The only difference is mark actually spoke his mind that he wasn't being fair with her and she had a rebound. As to where he didn't say anything to animated Amber making her look worse seem worse than comic Amber. And what's wrong with animated Amber design? Comic book Amber is literally just the generic blond blue eyed girlfriend of every story. They didn't do justice with her in the animation when it comes to personality but they definitely did do justice by changing her appearance completely in the animation by not having her be the literal unoriginal design she is in the comics. I'm surprised that's the only thing you're upset about when the whole story was changed. All they're doing is sticking to the main plot, but all the side stories are completely different from the originals.
@@ocianikz9544 dunno why you're assuming that her appearance is the only thing I hated, as I watched Invincible's full S1 episodes and I do find it agreeable how the writing on Amber got ruined on Episode 7, in which I got stumbled upon by Uniquenameosaurus' video here. Guess the change in appearance is now just a personal preference. Also can't we instead just agree to have both elements of both Amber adaptions together? Have Amber retain her comic appearance (with few tweaks here and there that doesn't deviate too much from the original comic so she can stand out) while she still retain the writing from the animation adaption to avert the "dumb blonde" trope (and fixing the Ep 7 reveal writing).
So you took an unbearably entitled brat who acts and is portrayed as all superior, and turned her into a paranoid, grieving, sympathetic character that fears for her life. Well played, sir. This would be a far better written character than the Amber we got. I like this idea.
Wow this is really really good. She would have gone from my least favorite to one of my favorite if not my favorite characters. The Omniman weakness thing would be a beautiful setup to how the story has gone in season 2 too
The one thing I’d change from this would be to put a bit of separation between the book burning and the massacre. Because the way you explained it here, with those two events so close it’s not a stretch to speculate on if the events are related. “negative emotions, hero related... Some heroes just died... she feels loss? She has a close connection to one of them?” And there goes the effect of the twist. But if some time passes in between (screen-wise not just in-universe) and other events happen the connection between the scenes is less obvious.
For me this also helps with her scene in the last episode too, since she knows the pain of losing a dad who is a supe and her love and affection for mark would trump her paranoia in that situation
For what it is worth, I'd say that was a pretty good attempt with the one exception of this: your additions make it more lengthier than the original which was better paced. The biggest problem with Amber figuring it out as mentioned in this video, we never see how she did it or when. If it was made more clear for when and how the "subversion" wouldn't be necessary and make Mark's character even better as it would open more caution into the incredibly risky life style of a super hero. 7/10 keep going, you got this.
it all went wrong with literally one moment, if she didn't get mad at him for not being there, and instead got mad at him for not trusting her enough to tell her the truth, literally the same day he claimed things would be different and he would be serious then it would be perfect. Like I can imagine her after the incident with him suddenly popping back up, think that this is how things would stay in the future. and have her try to get him to share the secret. Then she actually gets mad at him when he doesn't. in that way it makes sense, and doesn't come off completely unrealistic.
You know, your videos on fixing poorly written aspects of stories kind of remind me of gaming challenge videos, (like Technoblade's "Beating Minecraft Hardcore but with a steering wheel" video.) What I mean by that is you didn't just propose a better way of writing Amber, that would be easy. Instead you purposely handicapped yourself by finding a better way of writing Amber without changing the key elements that caused people to dislike her in the first place. Maybe you could make this into a series of some kind. Like, I have very mixed feeling on the ending of Avatar: The Last Airbender. I would love to see you try to change things to make the ending work better while still having Aang take the Firelord's bending away instead of killing him.
I think the only issue with the AtLA ending was lack of foreshadowing removal of bending as an option. if they had an episode or two sprinkled in about sokka trying to gain bending and thus somehow a revelation that hints about the source of bending being from the spirit world you could have it "click" for aang in the fight
@@samuraipizzaman Especially since the Avatar is *THE* bridge between the Physical and spiritual world giving him the unique ability to manipulate bending. Also it'd make an awesome epilogue where sometime after the war Aang offers to give Sokka bending and he looks down for a second, then to Master Piandao and finally back into Aang's eyes and says "I don't need it". Completing Sokka's character arc.
@@samuraipizzaman The lack of foreshadowing for bending removal isn't the only problem with the ending. Remember Aang regaining Avatar State by being thrown into a random pointy rock despite not achieving all the karmas? Aang didn't gave up on Katara plus Azula fried his ability anyway at the end of book 2 and somehow he can control it in the final fight. Also, even if spirit bending was foreshadowed it still would've cheapen the impact of the Aang's conflict only less so. Avatar Yangchen told Aang everything he had to know straight to the point. "It's not about you, it's about the world" - she told him because Aang was too focused on excuces rather than accepting the fact that he had to kill the Firelord as a part of Avatar's duty to the world. As it stands Aang was given deus ex machina to solve this conflict without a personal sacrifice or growth which was pretty dissapointing.
God damn I love this change bc it changes amber from being bitchy to being super smart and supportive. Like, in the show it feels like she's supposed to seem more logical and generally more intelligent than Mark, but the original scene made her seem overly emotional and not understanding at all. This makes her seem intelligent, understanding, helpful, and justified in being angry. Great idea
This was a genius rewriting, that is a good reason for her to be upset and not ruin her, at least for me. It finally adds a flaw to her otherwise flawless character they were portraying her as, making her more relatable
Dude... THIS FIXES EVERYTHING!!! The reveal with Amber's dad is also brilliant! you turned her from a selfish asshole into a compelling complex character study!
This... actually totally fixes her character (or well, mostly) Her reason for dumping him is understandable, he's reckless, he doesn't think and she realises that there's thousands of people online pouring over every millisecond of footage trying to unmask him, and if they do, she'll be targeted either as a way to get info or as a way to lure him to a trap. TBH if I was dating a superhero as reckless as Mark, I'd be pissed off at their recklessness too.
Holy shit. Your twist and the re-written dialogue is actually amazing. It's good writing. Fucking hell why do the actual writers have to do things so poorly when great writers like you exist?
Your version is beautiful, and when amber discovers that mark's dad is the one who did it, wow just wow the plot twist with darkwing was genius writing i am jealouse, wow
Wow this is 1000 times better then the original execution of her character arc and subversion, if it was official I'd still like her as a character , nice job and the plot twist you added gave a bit more depth to her making her not just retaining likeability but elevating to be sympathetic as well... I think I'll use it as my head cannon for the show , that way when season 2 comes I can actually stomach seeing her on screen LOL
Exactly and it makes her extremely relatable. With a backstory like that people could totally see her "logic" and see themselves thinking that way too if they were in that exact situation
Amber strikes me as such an ill-conveived character, especially in a show like Invincible where the character writing tends to be rock solid. She's not what I would call sympathetic leading up to this, but this scene cements her as vindictive and selfish to an irrational degree. And for some reason the show frames her as being in the right, even though at best she's being unreasonable and at worst her motivation for being mad at Mark just... doesn't make sense.
That works so much better. If they had just dialed herr birch energy back a bit too it would have also worked with her activism. If Darkwing is batman then her family is probably pretty philanthropic.
I still think Amber can still be fixed, she could very well be lying in the breakup scene and didn't know Mark was a superhero until he told her. She felt compelled to lie because she needs to feel superior to others, for whatever reason.
i actually really like the rewrite. you found a way to actually humanize the character. i could even see it that Amber has her suspicions, but the cyborg incident put the nail in the head... or however that saying goes.
man I was a little iffy with it at first with the "you're so bad at hiding it puts me at risk"" like I was still thinking it was a bit overreactive but having including dark wing as her dad really does put it over the edge and make the anger she has towards mark make sense. Reminds me of lois and clarks argument in the new superman show, something that has way more of a foundation
If this were cannon, Mark's realization that Omni man did it, would have a much stronger payoff
it also would have given him a personal reason to be livid at learning the truth, beyond how heinous it was to begin with.
we could even get a more mystery scene, where omni man suddenly knows her from some reason and asks how shes holding up. Making a retroperspectivly very sinister scene of Omni Man.
@@joel0joel0 Unless the writers somehow address this in season 2, they really fumbled the bag with Amber’s writing in the show.
As for the re-write, I like it a lot more than what the show did.
@@bluerascal370 i meant retrospectectivly when you would rewatch the re-written season one and then seeing this scene and thinking damn.
And sure the ruined amber without any saving potential, they should have sticked to the comic for this one.
Hindsight is 20/20
Amber: “Mark have you seen 4Chan!? They found a flag in the middle of the desert using only map knowledge and Flight data. You are gonna get found out as soon as someone gets suspicious.”
Not to mention it didn’t even take 2 days for them to do that lmao
Honestly I’m surprised that law enforcement doesn’t leak big criminal cases online to solve them
@@BlueBlazeKing perhaps they dont actualy want to solve them
I thought if was the woods
Suspicious or bored.
Damn, not only did you give Amber a reason for the way she acted with Mark, but you added to Mark's character by giving Mark another flaw of being careless with his identity. Top notch my guy!
He didn't really give Mark that flaw. He just explored a flaw he already had, the show kinda just ignored it, so it feels like a knew one.
@@Krumpins It's more like a suspension of disbelief.
@@Krumpins Yeah, I guess "giving" wasn't the right word choice, but more like "emphasizing".
@@hdhgjhjdvj Making the show more realistic if anything. They already tried to explain away why they are so dogshit at protecting their identities with the "If you don't expect it you don't see it" nonsense. That it didn't work on Amber because she *knows* what her father does to protect his identity would actually make that seem more realistic by reinforcing that it took special circumstances for it to happen.
That Amber saw through Invincible, when he actually does mask pretty much his entire face, really butchers the idea that hundreds of heroes manage to have hidden identities when they walk around with their face clearly visible on the job.
If you want to claim that people suck at discovering secret identities, you should reinforce the extenuating circumstances that are actually required.
@@dig8634 the "if you don't expect it you don't see it" isn't dogshit, it's actually pretty accurate, a little change of hairstyle, clothes, glasses etc can actually make people look wildly different, and also our brian works by focusing on things and filtering other things out, if you're not expecting something u usually will miss it
So in your treatment of this plotline, Amber makes several interesting and valid critiques of Mark's character and the writing of the show as a whole.
That's actually badass.
It also falls in line with the overall arc of his character throughout the comicbook series, that is that he tends to follow his feelings and immediately jump in to save the day without thinking of the repercussions or how it impacts the people close to him.
Holy Shit
I was already sold with the "youre so bad at hiding your identity it puts me at risk" part. That is a selfish reason to be mad about, but its a logical one.
When you revealed DarkWing was her father it blew my mind. Yes, they should have done this in the show.
It would have been fucking amazing
Not wanting to be put in such risk without being asked is barely selfish. It's the equivalent of not wanting to be tortured or dying...
Making her an even more one dimensional perfect character. No. Tell you what, just give her the powers then she can show Mark how is done. This is the show I think you guys would create.
"That you put us both at risk", Keyword both, somehow ya' replaced it with 'me'.
No it's selfish, because she could have ended the relationship if it was too great for her, but its understandable
@@dark6.6E-34
I was actually already convinced at the “you’re bad at hiding your identity part” the Darkwing stuff is a cool twist but already her being mad at him because he sucks at hiding his identity is good enough for me.
Same
Yeah but with Dark Wing being her dad now Mark has another reason to hate his dad. Could even be a new line where Mark screams "You took my girlfriends dad from her!" And Omniman replies "Are you really that mad that I made your pet cry?"
@@MrDrewwills dude that had me gasp and imagining a beat down….that mark will still lose but hey he had a chance fueled by pure rage by literally everything. There is no redemption atm
@@MrDrewwills
Mark: You took away fathers… Husbands… Caring, loving people that trusted you with their lives…
Nolan: Please, you’re acting like their kind doesn’t do that to themselves everyday, like thousands of species across the universe don’t do it. Humanity is not special. No one is. There is only one thing that drives this universe, and it’s power. They weren’t powerful enough. They weren’t *TITLE CARD*
Same
"I can't stop loving superheroes" is top fucking cheese. 10/10
lol. I see this a lot with most of my dramatic writing.
I'm never sure if I need to do anything about it. Obviously I write very 'anime' cause that's most of the stuff I like. I'm just not sure if cheese is inherent to that and it can be fixed.
Cause I feel like alot of my favourite anime moments are cheesy, but it's kinda inseparable from what I love about it.
@@Uniquenameosaurus th-cam.com/video/cH-uB_eaLvM/w-d-xo.html this is the only answer you need imho.
@@Uniquenameosaurus Cheese is good. Do it with flair, and people love it. Half-ass it and it gets annoying.
Then again, I am a Symphogear fan, so yeah. Bias.
@@Uniquenameosaurus Cheese is nice when it comes from a character and it kinda makes sense. It makes them feel a little bit genuine, people are rather awkward and narmy specially when they're showing some vulnerability imo.
@@erejnion Oh okay, sweet. I actually thought this was a criticism at first.
Oh yes, this version of amber is genuinely brilliant. A perfect mix of selfishness and selflessness, a really human reaction. It also sets up amber into potentially being a significant character later on, depending on if its needed.
Amber as Invincible's Oracle perhaps?
Yo you're in the thumbnail
@@ChaseDust Oh wow i didnt notice that, nice!
I tought that. Until every friend treated mark as being in the wrong and amber as being perfect and untouchable. This isn't a character flaw, It's a character writing flaw
@@XavierZara Or worse, taking up her old man's mantle to discover or find her dad's killer and becoming a potential enemy to mark and his dad.
I love this version as opposed to the canonical one. Would also explain her overachieving stance on community work and helping the needy. She idolizes her father so much that she wishes she could be a superhero too, but charity work is the closest she can ever get to that mantel. I'd actually feel for her in that regard, but in the actual show, I couldn't help but think of her as an overachieving tryhard who walked around as if she shat gold bricks.
Bravo! I enjoyed your rewrite of her story.
oh thats a good way to not make her feel as a token character
The canonical one is the comic. The show is some dipshit's attempt at telling the creator of a comic that is selling well enough to be picked up for an animated show that they don't know how to write. The show writers should have their asses kicked.
Digging deeper, her charity work can also be aimed at people most affected by collateral damage. This will add even more subtext to what it meant to be a hero, and what are they actually fighting fo
@@charliebrown6648 she isn't a token character, she's just an asshole
as is written canon she is *the worst person* BECAUSE of her charity work. She understands the concept of giving of yourself to help people in need, but she's mad at Mark for giving of himself to save literally thousands of lives? If her anger at Mark even just stemmed from a place of jealousy - that it made her feel like her own efforts to help people were meaningless and she was just not dealing with those emotions in a healthy way, sure, but the way its presented isn't that. They went the worst route@@charliebrown6648
This. This is gold. Your writing turns Amber from "I'm mad because you didn't tell me" to "i'm mad because telling me would have made no difference since you're such a bad liar". I love that her argument is more founded in something more palpable. Of course, trusting your partner in a relationship is essential, but originally Amber didn't even consider Mark's side, trying to juggle his life. On the other side of the scale we have Amber, with a constantly vanishing boyfriend, but no matter how much, the Amber i saw in the show was putting too much weight on her side. In this version of the story, she really understands Mark and worries about him, without being completely selfless. 10/10 Headcanon would brainwash myself to replace the show
This is now officially canon in my head
oh hey its you
Same
Or ....(Here is my version) The way we could have made it work is set it up in the following episodes. In season 2 how about this scenario?
Amber tells Mark that she didn't break up because he lied. She actually lied about why she was mad to push Mark away. And her reason for doing this is because she finds out later on in the relationship that she couldn't deal with the fact that Mark was a Superhero. The idea that Mark could be dead at any second by the hands of dangerous criminals frightened her. And because she loves him so much she felt she couldn't come to Mark honestly about it. So she blamed Mark something out of his control.
And then Mark eventually has to ask why did she even bothered to come back? And then Amber says she originally told herself that she wasn't going to under any circumstances but 1000s of people dying and Mark finding out Nolan is murdering psychopath was too much to ignore. And she felt that Mark needed someone to care for him at this tough time and she really cares for him.
@@SuperMurray2009 this is a cannon that can work the videos script is really good but the problem is that it can't be implemented in the existing story but yours can
@@fleuttre4510 Lol yes that's why I made it that way. It was a fun exercise where you didn't have to change what you actually saw
Biggest thing is that you made Amber's reasoning more selfless than selfish. An audience will be more forgiving of a character's flawed logic if they have a sympathetic reason. Amber's original reason was incredibly selfish an entitled, which was really the driving factor of why people started to hate her.
@Daniel Meyer honestly I feel like they could've made her mad that he was bad at being a boyfriend and a superhero at the same time and that would have made her instantly way less hateable. I think the "selfishness" would come from a much more understandable place bc she's not obligated to date someone who isn't there for her. "I hate that you lied" implies she's not smart enough or doesn't care enough about why anyone would hide their identity as a superhero from they people they care about.
@@TheDareelliltee It would still be a place of entitlement and selfishness, not to mention another case of lack of awareness. Do women who date soldiers really get surprised when their men are stationed at far away places for months? IF she knew Mark was a superhero, and given that they live in a world of superheroes, it would have pretty obvious that expecting Mark to be the person to balance everything would be too much. Its not a simple "work-life balance" - there are lives at stake. Ignoring an attack on civilians is not the same as ignoring a call from work when you are with you bae.
@@scientia.veritas Well said, king. 👑
@@scientia.veritas there are stories about cheating wives while their husband is faraway because of work. I like Amber because she's entitled, lacks self-awareness, and makes it Mark's problem. And because she's a woman you're expected to understand.
There *are* people like that, they aren't good people, even if they can be well-meaning. It's a trap, same as the famous manipulative "nice guy", and I like that the show talked about it without giving us the solution on a platter.
@@scientia.veritas I mean, I think their point still applies with the soldier-simily. No, people who date soldiers shouldn't be surprised when their significant other is sent to another country and isn't there for them. That doesn't mean that they *have* to stay with the soldier. You get to know someone, like them, find out they're a soldier and they get sent away for months, "ah well maybe we can work it out", and poof - some people can't work it out. That's not selfish or entitled in and off itself. If they did the Amber and screamed in their face for not being there for them, yes, that is shitty. But calmly stating that they can't commit to that is understandable, nobody is forced to stay with someone they've been dating for a couple of months.
The advice would have been the biggest take away from this scene. It's something Mark could've taken to heart as he starts to grow as a hero later on. Heck, it even fits into the theme of "What it means to be a hero," by adding in a new perspective.
Or ....(Here is my version) The way we could have made it work is set it up in the following episodes. In season 2 how about this scenario?
Amber tells Mark that she didn't break up because he lied. She actually lied about why she was mad to push Mark away. And her reason for doing this is because she finds out later on in the relationship that she couldn't deal with the fact that Mark was a Superhero. The idea that Mark could be dead at any second by the hands of dangerous criminals frightened her. And because she loves him so much she felt she couldn't come to Mark honestly about it. So she blamed Mark something out of his control.
And then Mark eventually has to ask why did she even bothered to come back? And then Amber says she originally told herself that she wasn't going to under any circumstances but 1000s of people dying and Mark finding out Nolan is murdering psychopath was too much to ignore. And she felt that Mark needed someone to care for him at this tough time and she really cares for him.
@@SuperMurray2009 you’d have to fix ALOT of scenes with her in it and would also go against what she was pissed at in the beginning which is that he lied. Which is hypocritical but hey that is her character afterall
@@SuperMurray2009 So she lied to mark about being mad at him because he lied to her while she was lying to him?
Personally I don't think Amber has to explain her dad's history as much as you have her do. Just say "Darkwing was my dad... he taught me how important hiding your identity is, and someone *still* killed him. I don't want what happened to him to happen to me... or you. No matter what I do I can't stop loving superheroes"
i mean that's fair but going into more detail would also allow for more cutscenes with darkwing which under the context of him dying could be a real gutpunch to the emotions and also make the fight with omniman more cathartic. I feel like your version cuts the scene to short for how big it is
That is the George Lucas writing speed there. If it's a good emotion it's okay to let people sit on it.
I like to err on less is more so agreed, sometimes tvs and movies get too exhaustive when I have to know everyone’s reasons for a thing
@@woerkntwerk5245 And people say the ot was too slowly paced already
I also think the voice acting should be better and the animations should match it.
This video isn't trying to show a completed scene, just a high-level alternative script.
Honestly when the scene first played with Amber saying she already knew, I did first think she was going to say something to this effect of "You are terrible at hiding your identity and I am not dumb enough to think that I would never, ever be in danger if you got found out." because that alone feels way more on point with the characterization of her the series had laid out previously.
couldn't agree more, it fits her way better
the best analogy I can think of is a girl you've been dating for 6 months gets upset that you don't trust her enough to tell her all your bank details and passwords
More red flags then the Chinese army.
more like the girl you lied for 6 months straight gets pissed at that you keep trying to come back and still lie, wheter its justified or not, mark could just not date amber lol
@@bambi20082148 yeah but he literally had the best excuse available. Imagine being able to say the reason you were late for Every date is because your saving lives. I realize she couldn't have known and getting stood up would hurt. But when the reveal comes up that she knew he was a superhero makes her rage seem selfish. She could have even said I'm not a big enough person to date a superhero and the more I think about it the more it scares me and it would've been fine. Amber apologists suck
@@bambi20082148 Mark wanted to tell Amber earlier but Eve talked him out of it. To be fair yeah Mark shouldn't string her along, but it's literally a secret identity that could effect her, and his whole life. That's the kind of secret you want to tell someone you want to commit too. Which I like to remind you he wanted to tell her earlier
The secrecy of your bank account information would have no effect on you flaking a hypothetical girlfriend, but a super hero identity most certainly would
This change is genius. It actually improves her character where the original subversion taints it
It made me go OH it would've been so good
The og just makes you hate her and root for Eve
@@falconeshield yeah in the show
It could even be used later build her into a hero too
Oh God, imagine if this was the case, then we get to Mark realizing his dad was the one who murdered Amber's father during the confrontation and Omniman's only response is just cold indifference.
And Amber's reaction when she realises that Omniman killed her Dad and now he's (to her at least) going to kill her ex.
Oh shit, then that gives Amber even more reasons as to why she would break up with him, knowing that her boyfriend’s father is the one who killed her dad and is most likely going to kill her too, whether it’s because Omni man doesn’t want Mark to fall in love with a human or because he wants Mark to lose his attachment for humanity even more by killing his significant other who happens to be human. Just to show him that that relationship would have never lasted anyway because he’ll outlive her so it wouldn’t make a difference if she lived or not.
welp, this got pretty dark
Damn this thread got darker than Antarctica during the winter months
Omni man should say something that is caring but is completely inhuman like: "That is a shame, she was a cute partner." or "Night Wing was hardly a fight, I could have left him alive, but what then, he still grows old and dies?"
It’s sucks cause amber in the comics is such a great character. She’s understanding and she gives the relationship a shot after finding out. It doesn’t work out eventually because she can’t deal with the constant worry and stress of him being in danger. She also can’t deal with him being away for extended periods of time. They both naturally drift apart and break up on good terms.
yeha the way the changed her made it so much worse
@@tomarchru8528 At the same time, she WAS a 16-17 year old girl, I don't think being unreasonable or overdramatic is a weird thing. Teenagers are stupid.
@@alt-q1y Teenagers are stupid for a good reason, they're young immature reflections of their environment. why is Mark an amateur hero who does more harm than good because he acts before he thinks while she's an overzealous 'I'm based' token character? The show ultimately failed at representation on her part, that's how. No one cares that Mark's half Asian, bro's basically full viltrumite and embodies the 'he's got the right spirit, but he ain't the man' archetype from his idolisation of his Superman-like father... which then shatters his entire world upon the realisation that image was a lie from the start (with tidbits of truth that grow over time.) Her on the other hand? Soup kitchens and outrage. If, as this video suggested (as people in comments have said), this was based off her OWN idolisation of her OWN hero father? An ordinary man that got himself killed by a demi-god? While she as a soup kitchen worker trying to live up to his legacy dates that demi-god's son? Jesus Christ man, that's heavy! And interesting... and lost potential.
@@alt-q1ynaw this is beyond stupid.
When you said "Darkwing was my dad" I was just like "well her dad being Darkwing Duck WOULD be a twist" because it's been too long and I didn't remember what the names of the murdered heroes were.
I'll be honest, when you started with it, I was thinking this might be weak, until the reveal came up.
That was amazing, and you are amazing! This definitely fixed it, and then some.
I came here to comment exactly the same thing.
Except it did not... But saddly it definitively would have done the job!
Congratations for getting in the thumbnail
@@EgofishYT Lmao thank you for showing me that
Man's now in a thumbnail, gg
As a fellow writer who seeks to iron out plot inconsistencies and the like, you really nailed this one. If I make this my headcanon, Amber becomes way more likeable. It's another departure from the comics, but I'm all for plot alterations that actually strengthen the overall story!
Except the only flaw is that it is never stated in the show that Amber knew Mark was a superhero the entire time. All she says is that she knew Mark was a superhero for weeks. If she knew the entire time, why would she say weeks instead of months or just say “I knew the entire time” if she knew the entire time?
@@mangamandrew Or the fact that she constantly rails on mark for not valuing her but as soon as she dumps him she goes after another guy. She clearly doesn't value him as much either so what she does is also hypocritical
@@liebeasta3332 If Mark is not valuing Amber in the relationship, that is not a good thing on Mark’s part. And sure, she goes for another guy but are you saying that people after a break up are bad people because they get a rebound partner? She broke up with Mark because Mark was the reason why the relationship was falling apart. Just because she flirts with another guy does not mean she does not value Mark. Heck, we see that when she returns from the party, she waits for mark to talk yo her showing that she still wanted to be with Mark but he had to make it shown because they problems in the relationship all stem from Mark.
I L.O.V.E your rewriting. The start could be shortened and less eloquent, but everything by the "they're both pissed" section is _perfection_
Now, IMAGINE she stopped at "Darkwing was my father" bawled more, said get out, then _screamed get out,_ making Mark leave, along with the audience, to process that information.
Then the Darkwing backstory only comes in when she returns to Mark by the end of the show, finally putting the scene into full perspective
Giving amber the role of being darkwing’s daughter actually gave us a reason to feel for her, to actually understand the reason behind what she does whether we agree with it or not
The decision to go with shocking twist writing instead of paying off a set up arc will never stop being infuriating. The thing that makes me happy and excited is how much backlash to it there was online, and I hope that they justify it in season 2.
Also another brilliant thing this does is humanizes more of the Guardians. Their deaths serve the narrative amazingly, but besides the Flash and Martian Manhunter stand ins you feel nothing for them personally. This gives the audience and Mark another personal and visceral reason to hate Omniman.
Yeah, the Guardians' deaths were more shocking because of the gore than because they were characters I cared about and they still are. I don't really give a shit about any of them because most of them were connected to no one but one another and confined to the first episode
@@47ratsinahoodie the fight doesnt even make sense. omni-man would have killed red rush first. cause he is the only one fast enough to react to his speed. in the comics omni-man killed each of them with one strike and he didn't even get injured. its really annoying, cecil should have known he was guilty from the start and should have sent for brick to snap his neck while he was in a coma.
Yeah why do so many movie writers not understand that you need to set up a twist. You need to balance not giving it away and yet making sense and revealing something in hindsight or in a rewatch. Which is very difficult but just not setting it up just results in garbage.
@@roiking2740 You have to remember that the comic writers didn't know where they would take the story. The author has publicly agreed with the showrunner's decision to make the Guardians more of a threat to Omni-Man, because otherwise he wouldn't have needed to take them out the way he did. If they were never any threat to him and he could just steamroll all of them without breaking a sweat, then there wouldn't have been any reason for him to be stealthy or lie about it. At least in the context of the show and the end-game of the comic.
@@Tawleyn but it makes him worse. it makes the threat lesser specially if you take spoilers into account. in addition to messing up the plot with the investigation.
also the point of taking out the guardians is not because they are a threat its because vultrum want to force earth to surrender instead of putting up a fight. yes they are that arrogant.
"[SPOILER] is my dad." CHILLLSSSSSSSS!
I love this so much. also, this gives the 2 voice actors a chance to flex acting out a heavily emotional scene.
Funniest part is that the name "Spoiler" is a name for a different comic book character.
@@ZNotFound Ohohoho! I think I heard of them. Father and Daughter with the same alter-name, right?
@@geordanegames Her father is a villian, Cluemaster. She ended up joining the Bat Family.
@@ZNotFound right right. The name rang a bell. This is cool.
Using Dark Wing for this rewrite is a great play here. Having Amber connected to a hero helps justify her realizing Mark's identity and gives her a standard to hold Mark up to. It gives more meaning to the lives of the guardians of the globe, which had very little characterization. Mark isn't just a bad boyfriend, he's a bad hero, which ties in with his doubts about being a hero later in the show.
Well done.
hmmm. When Mark lost the fight to battle beast and he was in hospital. Amber was upset he didn't show up to the soup kitchen. she found out that Mark was in hospital, she was told that he got hit by a bus and had the injuries to prove it but the soup kitchen was more important to her rather than her boyfriend. the fact that she constantly rails on mark for not valuing her but as soon as she dumps him she goes after another guy. She clearly doesn't value him as much either. She's a flat character, a hypocritical asshole.
@@liebeasta3332 That's true. The soup kitchen bit is still stupid.
Honestly, all they had to do was make amber’s reactions to him “flaking” somewhere between calm, and exasperated. That way when she finally does confront him, it leaves room for it being more about her understanding the situation, and yet the relationship with a super has proven too stressful for her over time, and left her feeling alone and anxious, despite her supporting his heroic decisions. This would’ve made the breakup way more nuanced, relatable, and tragic. And it would’ve given her character a flaw that feels genuine, while she is a good person doing continuous good deeds for her community, it could be that she’s become addicted to the feeling to helping others, almost like it’s her main source of dopamine. But in Mark’s world, the feeling of overwhelming helplessness, and being confronted with a person who has to save the world on a regular basis, could’ve messed with amber’s sense of service to those in need to the point of being overwhelmed. Because, of this newfound sense of helplessness, she HAS to break it off with Mark. Boom fixed amber
I really like this because, even if it wasn't your intent, having Darkwing have a family and allowing us to meet them adds even more depth to their deaths, and a bitter irony to them not knowing Mark's dad killed Amber's dad. I know we get to see Red Rush's girlfriend a few times and the Martian has a kid or something but it's not super interesting. I mean a girlfriend and a random kid you spend time with is a lot different from a daughter. Omni-man's murders didn't just take super heroes out f the world, it took away people's loved ones.
What I really want to know is how she'd react to learning that after Mark and Omni-man have their big fight and all the cards on on the table. I actually think it'd be a great reason for her to get back together with him.
In the show, her getting back with him after nothing about their relationship changed really irked me. But in this version, it's not really Mark that needs to change (outside of being more careful) but rather it is Amber's fear of losing someone she loves again that needs to be overcome.
Maybe seeing Mark stand up to the man that killed her father and (kind of) win puts her at ease, maybe her love for him makes her willing to put her fear aside, maybe she finds solidarity in them both having lost their fathers, maybe all of the above. Or maybe the reveal makes it too hard to be with him and they DON'T get back together.
Either way, I know for a fact it would have been more satisfying than what we got.
The dialogue that preceded the subversion felt a little "fix-ficcy." Like someone who watched the show analyzed everything and took note of all the misplays. That bit could probably use a cleanup to make it snappier and sound more natural. But the dialogue after the subversion packed a nice punch. I like how it resolved with more of a somber tone, so that the breakup came across as more mutual by the end.
Yeah. Don't use such specific examples, and maybe tidy up the dialogue so it feels more natural. But in it's defense, this is something that Amber in the rewrite has been worried about for months.
@@Birthday888 I think mixing in some examples that we didn't see in the show would feel more like it's coming from someone who lives in the world. Rather than someone who's only seen it from our perspective.
I like the idea that Mark actually argues back and has issues of his own with Amber's take on things. Like you said it makes the breakup feel more mutual.
@@joelsasmad Good point. It's easier to get behind a character when they can influence the world, rather than simply react to it.
The fix also causes further issues due to the scene at the start of the series where Amber blackmailed the bully to force the bully to give Mark her number. If you want to fully fix Amber, there are more scenes to fix than just the college attack and the "shocking twist" scene...
I think one of the important things with this rewrite: You can recognise that she's not 100% in the right.
Because that was always the biggest issue: The writers thought "Amber right, Mark wrong." With 0 nuance, and thus 0 need (in their minds) to make Amber's position well written. They just had every character Say she's right. (Damaging those characters in the process. I wound up really disliking Mark's friend that episode too.)
While in this, they both have understandable, self-justified reasons for their actions. The audience can understand both positions, and is allowed to think for themselves.
@calemr I feel like people just want to empathize with mark too hard so they want her to be shown as wrong too. She doesn't need to be portrayed as, even partially, in the wrong to be written better. They could have changed her reasoning to be that Mark is bad at being a hero and a boyfriend at the same time, and that she gave him plenty of time to do better but her patience has run out. That way they could have done the "I knew all along" twist AND made her not hateable. The show is supposed to be about Mark learning to be a superhero as well as what it can cost him. So if he needs this emotional ass whooping for doing it wrong, so he can do it better later, that's fine imo.
@@TheDareelliltee She is still in the wrong, in your version.
He's sacrificing his life to save other people.
Getting mad at him for that Is understandable, but it's still Shitty.
Let's be clear here, Any argument about "I don't like how much time you spend heroing." is "I want people to die for my convenience."
@@calemr how is breaking up with someone because they won't spend even a reasonable amount of time with you shitty? There are real world jobs where people don't have enough time to spend with others, being a superhero just makes so that mark REALLY shouldn't seek out relationships if he's just going to ignore them for something else. In my scenario she's with him despite knowing he's a hero and decides to give him time to work it out. She already said she knew for weeks. She's not obligated to put up with him just because he's a hero. If Mark had played like she was then that would be manipulative, which is probably why they didn't have Mark fight back harder.
@@TheDareelliltee Breaking up with him is fine. I didn't say it wasn't.
I said getting mad at him is shitty. That's not the same.
@@calemr would you not be mad if you gave someone months of your affection only for them to take it for granted and not improve?
It's interesting to see something like this in an early conceptual phase, because the idea is there, but the scene is so long and expository. It obviously needs a lot of editing before it'll start to feel right.
I felt that too, but since it's an idea it could be worked on. Even so I would rather have this than what we actually got
It feels appropriately long since it would become an actual pivotal moment of Mark's life.
@@phonesjuda7318: Nolan's explanation to Mark about where he really comes from is shorter than this. There are other shows that work well with drawn out monologues, but Invincible is too snappy; it needs an editor to make it feel less expository and more natural.
@@phantomkitten73 that I concede.
To be fair, he isnt just saying dialogue, he's also reading out what they're doing and explaing in depth how they act and move while reading the script.
Gahh this is soooo good. This also works as a fantastic twist on the trope of hiding their secret identity to protect loved ones. Mark doesn't even have one because he worries about that possibility, he just has one because thats what superheroes do. Omniman also never stresses this importance to him so it works perfectly. The original subversion of her knowing plus a twist on the trope would have made this a legendary moment in television. Fuuuck why can't this be really the way it happened.
I'm not entirely convinced by the darkwing addition but It certainly would add an new interesting dynamic of his dad killing her dad.
God, the added comic book angle just makes this Amber soooo much more likable. Amber in the show acts so high and mighty, likes she’s above everything. But with this, the reveal of her love of comics and superheroes gives us such an endearing and vulnerable part of her character
Darkwing being her father was a neat twist. Also might have been too dramatic, with the half-burned comics, but the logic she uses is much better here, and I genuinely feel like this was a better way to handle Amber having known Mark's identity.
I’ve been an Invincible fan for several years. I waited anxiously for this show to come out, and I was pleasantly surprised with how well it turned out. The way they changed Amber was definitely one of my biggest issues. Your rewrite is... so much better than what they came up with. I appreciate that you have criticism for yourself, but I would like to take a moment to share my thoughts.
Yes, your Amber is a little over-reactive. So is Show Amber. The overreactivity isn’t the issue, it’s the motivation behind the reaction. A teenager mourning her father’s death, discovering new love, and trying to reconcile the potential disaster where those two things intersect isn’t going to know what to do and will probably just shut down. Not only is this understandable, but it pays off down the line when SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE COMICS Amber over corrects and chooses a new boyfriend who is completely unlike Mark or her father. A boy who isn’t a superhero, doesn’t have ambition, and is so diametrically opposite that he physically abuses her. Her trauma tells her “this isn’t someone who will get targeted by super villains and he’s not so bad that he will be targeted by super heroes.” This opens up an avenue for the writers to take a more nuanced look into why victims of domestic abuse, even the ones who seem like they would be “too strong and smart”, stick around. The same overreactive trait that makes her run from Mark evolves into a trait that keeps her chained to an abusive relationship. Comic Amber was framed as submissive from the get-go, so it was believable then. Show Amber will leave someone who she knows is a superhero because he did her wrong just a little bit. It will not be believable that she can be manipulated into an abusive relationship. Your Amber is a more believable, relatable, and realistic approach than either one of the two. And that level of drama fits very snugly into the overall tone of the comic (essentially a soap opera with super heroes). Very well done.
Skipped the spoilers part but even without her grieving her dad the simple and easy change form "you don't trust me with one of your most valuable secrets " to "you're putting me in danger" makes the whole thing soooo much better.
Like maybe you can say she's overreacting but it's more than a valid reason to be upset.
This is a really good rewrite. Villians would obvisously want an easier way to work arpund heroes and getting personally identifying information to either blackmail or sucker punch them would be a very effective way to do that. Considering that invincible as a series tries to make itself more realistic, Im genuinely suprized that something like that isn't in there. Even Eve mentions to him several times that hes really bad at managing the double life thing and how serious his secret indentity is.
“It’s hard to find a good reason for someone to lie (or withhold truth) to their significant other and then be frustrated at them for not getting it at the same time.” I’ve been struggling to find these words and argue them with a couple friends. Thank you.
Dude, give yourself more credit. I didn’t think anyone could fix this without completely rewriting several events in the story. You gave a pretty simple fix, maintained the original twist, and then added another twist with Darkwing. I’m adding this to me personal head canon.
10:06 "I can't lie to myself that you're-" or "Be careful Mark, no one's-"
*INVINCIBLE*
While not a bad fix, in fact its a cool one, I feel like it would require a lot of changing. The big problem I, and I feel most had, was that Amber's position is treated by the show as wholly correct. Not only does Invincible have no argument against Amber, but no one takes his side with everyone he goes to saying "Yeah, you f*%^ed up."
To be honest, It would have done the scene better if they kept the selfish reasoning and simply had more realistic reactions. Have invincible point out his position as a hero and the lives he was saving. Have amber express her frustrations of carrying a one side relationship. And have the friends be more neutral to the conflict. Like, you could have the friends be like "Yeah... It sucks what Amber is going through, but at the same time she willingly dated a superhero." Give the scene nuance by having no moral winner.
I'm with you there. Don't get me wrong, Atom definitely should have been on Amber's side, because she's got a horse in the race. But William? Well, I guess he was busy with his own issues coping with his boyfriend being turned into a cyborg. Can't imagine he was doing much empathizing with Mark at the time. But STILL. You're right, somebody should have been on Mark's side. It would have made the whole thing more believable and understandable.
But Mark was a terrible boyfriend. Dunno about "got what he deserved." But terrible boyfriend.
@@SirMandokarla I would get Williams reaction if he was taking this as a jab at mark being a terrible superhero who can't control his double life,like how he constantly flakes on his gf to fight crime,but then as soon as his bff needs him to fight crime he chooses his relationship,but William just flat out agrees with amber having the moral high ground Which sucked
@@straightuphating1013 personally I don't have a problem with amber seeming in the right, the show is about Mark learning to be a superhero and what it can cost him, it would muddy the impact of his actions to also try to put blame on her. Other heroes can do it better, so he should learn too. Plus I'm kind of getting the impression that Amber is supposed to be the down-to-earth girl that's good for Mark, so if they gave her the "you don't spend enough time with me" angle then that would be way better than "you lied", because the latter implies that she's somehow not smart enough to understand why he would lie. It would be a good lesson to teach Mark to be more considerate of how being a hero has impact on the people around him.
Lol and have a man tell a woman that they're wrong? A black woman at that?
Dude that's heretical
Well, while I think the Darkwing Dad idea would work and bring us closer to the original Guardians, I feel like it would make Amer too important.
Now she wouldn’t be the “normal girl that represents normal life” anymore, but just another part of the super hero world.
Here is an alternate idea, that might make the world even darker. And her fear even more personal
Her dad did die to a super villain. But not because he was a superhero, but just because he used to date one. This was long before her dad met her mom. But the identity of the Hero, and thus her fathers, got somehow leaked. Which got her father killed in a petty revenge killing. All while the Hero kept going, physically unharmed.
This would make her fearing the consequences of a leak, so much more believable. She already knows, what happens if you are close to a Hero.
Then during the discussion with Mark, at its most heated she yells:
“Well I am not invincible Mark!” “When a bullet hits me in the face, I am dead! You are probably just so used to hanging out around bulletproof Robots, that you forgot just how frail WE are”
And this all would come back, when Omniman shows Mark, just how frail they truly are.
The only problem I see with this solution is that it's so on the nose as to suspend disbelief in the audience. "Oh, there's an entirely too convenient reason for her behaviour dropped just at the right time mirroring her own circumstances near 100% that her father went through? Nope, don't believe it." Honestly, if we're going an alternate route, Amber having been something of an online personality or having a secret online presence she didn't want attached to herself and getting doxxed by internet denizens would be a better reason for why she wants Mark to be careful with his identity. As she knows that people don't need to be Private Investigators to find information that can lead to your identity being revealed, and the consequences that can come from it.
@@StruggleGun yeah, maybe a bit too on the nose. But I think I got my point about having her stay unconnected to the Hero world over, well enough.
I think this is an absolutely brilliant rewrite.
I really liked Amber's character up until that one scene where we find out she's myopic and entitled. Up to that point, she's a very no-bullshit down-to-earth character, and this rewrite especially makes her a good foil for Mark.
Both of them do good work for their community (superhero work vs soup kitchen/community center work), but Mark can get caught up in the glamor and gradiosity of his own heroism, where Amber has none of that -- she is fully grounded and fully invested in the unglamorous day-to-day needs of the people she helps. It makes so much sense that she gets frustrated with Mark for not getting out of his own head enough to think about how his sloppiness could hurt the people around him.
I also like that she's far more human in this version. Her words and actions aren't 100% rational 100% of the way all the time, but neither is anyone's. And it gives so much more depth and perspective on Mark and the world these characters live in.
Good work.
Much more reasonable series of reactions. I can sympathize with this Amber, actual human being rather than an entitled brat. Appreciative of what Mark has done, points out actual flaws that he has, and gives clear cut and intelligent reasons for not wanting to continue the relationship and why she tried to make it work. Well done.
Spoiler warning for the comics:
It's funny because in the comics one of the big bads even says Mark is really bad at keeping his secret identity and that in something like 40% of alternate dimensions, his identity is revealed.
This would be a solid rewrite, especially given the chance to drop extra hints along the way so the audience has a chance to understand. Ambers ability to be good with grappling, etc is already shown. When Amber was left in Marks room, she could specifically go for Nightwing books and/or go for something clearly more recent. After the reveal, this could also make the following scenes a little more emotionally deep bouncing between Mark, Dad, and Self.
The only mixed feelings I have is that Amber is kinda of awesome for being a character who isn't afraid to stare down a Superhero/villian. Nightwing's connection would slightly dull this down for me personally. Yeah, revealing a secret ID that early into a relationship is kind of a big commitment, but it's also a HS relationship. Plenty of those relationships are toxic, irrational, and questionable decisions are abound.
Hmm, maybe Darkwing and Amber don't get along great all the time so she can stand up to superheroes and supervillains but still cares that her father was murdered?
This kicks. Excellent. Chills as always
That made me like her again, it's soo much better and make way more sense, it even makes a perfect paralel with Mark and adds to the thematics of the narrative where he tried to follow his father footsteps just to realize his father was not who he belived and that he had to create his own path while Amber tried to run away from her father's legacy just to realize you are never totaly free from your parents influence.
The fact that the reason you gave Amber was not perfect but understandable makes it great
Damn, that was good, even before you added the Darkwing stuff. Her being pissed at him for being bad with his secret identity, and not being able to vocalize it until the situation comes to a head makes much more sense.
Amber in the comics eventually gets a blatant and unnecessary character assassination purely because fans wanted Eve and Mark to be together, I expect cartoon Amber to suffer a similar fate.
I can't wait for Twitter to implode when it happens in the show.
I can’t wait for that character assassination to SAVE her character
Funny how that is predestinated
Yeah, which sucks. Amber isn't perfect but for fuck's sake the lead female character and lead male character don't always need to get together! (I may or may not be salty at a certain cartoon and its shit love story writing)
It sucks that Amber came out this way because she had potential at first.
I thought that was pretty cool & worked really well to earn back the sympathy we bad for Amber before she said she knew all along
"There's no way Unique can fix such a messy execution of character drama."
[10 minutes later]
"Oh my god..."
Dude your plot twist is literally incredible! If this was the canonical timeline in the animated series, the latest episode of Invincible would have been 1000x more impactful! And Your Amber's feelings during season 1 would have been validated!
Yeah, her knowing seemed like a complete afterthought.
I think this works really, dark wing doesn’t have super powers witch could increase the paranoia of standing next to near gods, it’s a character that’s not getting used any more and had some interesting potential with why he was suspicious of Omni man.
I like it
This is actually brilliant! it makes her reasoning justifiable, makes her more interesting as a character in general, and if you've read the comics and know of something amber goes through later, it ties into THAT brilliantly as well, nicely done!
This is literal perfection, I've never seen anything like this before, and I LOVE THIS. As weird as it sounds, this is how I see this scene now, THIS is what should have happened, thank you for this.
This is such an interesting idea! Talking about the life of the child of a superhero who just wants a normal life is something never really talked about and having Amber be it is so clever, it shows the differences between Mark and Amber too and how their different superparent changed them.
I wish this was canon!
Ambers character was feels like “o she’s so perfect and I’m always wrong” which is almost never the case for high school relationships
For real if the last few episodes were to show some of her worst tendencies they did a shit job
It just made her character seem more emotional immature and stupid than strong
Yeah the writers were clearly being one sided with who they wanted to be seen in the right (they made all mark friends go amber was right despite her not really) but what’s worse is they made Mark a jerk in order to force the point. Not it showed how mark was being a jerk no they actively forced him to act like a jerk at the start of the reveal scene in order to force the story in that direction. That is one of the worse things you can do force your character to act completely different in order to push a story they want even if it goes against them. Throughout the show mark was shown to be considerate and understanding of when things go serious and in his mind he believed his girlfriend thought he abandoned her to die, he wouldn’t have just gone in expecting her to be back together he would have been way more understanding in her feelings
@@christopherauzenne5023 I think the writers purposefully did it to Amber so they can move towards the direction of mark and eve herring together like in the comics
@@danielshore1457 not really, because first off no matter what you should never force your characters to act against their own character for the sake of the story (your characters are your story so making them act completely different is sorta saying the characters don’t matter). 2nd if they did do it for Mark and eve to end up together why did they make everyone side with Amber when she wasn’t in the right either but is treated as right by everyone and why did they have him & Amber get back together at the end of the season.
@@christopherauzenne5023 I think so maybe they can use her later in the story or something idk
@@danielshore1457 yeah, though i have a feeling that use for her is going to be as a brutal shock collateral, either with her getting brutally injured or killed because lets face it, the universe of Invincible is still a brutal place. we have seen it. and other than literally putting her in the background and showing how actually unimportant she is to the overall story, there is not much they can do with her to make her more important to the plot without putting her in the line of fire. which for a non-superhero is a very bad place to be.
“No matter what I do, I can’t stop loving superheroes.”
OOOOOOOOH!
This is really golden. You made a controversial scene into a great and rememberable scene. The new twist was really good too. Great work.
I really like the idea of revealing more emotional tie-ins to the deaths of the Guardians. It's one more layer to how horrible Omni-man's actions were, and it reinforces how much those deaths impacted the world. We do have the stuff with Olga and Red Rush, but because Olga isn't well fleshed out I don't find that super emotionally compelling anyways, another aspect that could maybe be improved.
It also gives Amber a hell of a lot more needed depth, since as she stands in the show she's basically one of those "strong" female characters who can do no wrong and has no arc. Her dad probably would have given her some training, and maybe she could have beaten Todd up a little more when he was bullying Mark. Spending free time volunteering at a soup kitchen to help in any way she can opposes Omni-man's ideal for Mark that he should only worry about big-fish problems. Amber's attitude towards helping would have been instilled by Darkwing, a hero who fights street-level crime, and also is a foil to Omni-man.
Philosophically, Amber would accompany Atom Eve, though probably serve the role better since she doesn't even have superpowers. This twist which was designed to make Amber a likeable character could actually contextualize her into one of the most interesting parts of the story.
In this version she's grieving, emotional. Not being entirely logical in her decision making makes sense.
This is very awesome. I always read the Amber reveal as her trying to save face somewhat. As in, she suspected he was a superhero because that's a thing in their universe, but when they were in a deeply stressful situation she didn't take her headcanon into account and lashed out at him. This, however, is a much, much better justification and has added plot stuff that doesn't feel overloaded.
Fan-fucking-tastic job! I knew that scene was coming up from spoilers, but it didn't make it any more palatable. Your version is so much more heartfelt than just trying to pull a "one over" on the audience for no reason. The fact that your version also doesn't change the course of the show is also perfect
Idk, the plot twist is very very good, but kinda convoluted, and I feel you would need more foreshadowing than just the added comic scene to make it rewarding.
While the idea is good, I can't help but feeling fixing a character should be about little tweakes here and there, not rewriting her entire backstory. (I generally love your ideas and I wouldn't say this if I didn't already know you appreciate criticism, so I hope you won't take this as an insult)
If I rewrote it I would erase the thing about she being mad because Mark didn't tell her, instead she's just frustrated because he can't spend time with her because he's busy being a superhero, and add something about how she understands that's entitled from her and how she knows he's saving lives and how she shouldn't be angry but she is and that makes her angry at herself too, maybe even add something about how when she first figured out Mark was a hero she actually loved the idea of dating someone who spends his days saving others, but over time she's realized she just can't be with someone who's always away.
I would also modify some of her earlier bursts of anger so that after she yells at Mark she adds something like "I'm... I'm sorry, I don't want to be mad at you, I know you're trying but it's just so frustrating and..."
I guess you would also have to rewrite parts of the fight with the robot for this to make sense, maybe she trips while running away and she and Mark exchange a look at that moment, but he still leaves without helping her get up because he has to take care of the robot and that's why she was so angry after, deep down she wants to be Mark's priority and knows she can't, so she breaks up with him because she realized she'll never be more important than his superhero life.
"I'm breaking up with you because I'm mad saving the world is more important than spending time with me" is still quite a selfish motivation, but I think by showing she's self aware and mad at herself too for feeling that way, and making it so she didn't tell mark she knew his secret identity because she though she could deal with it, she will still be relatable and thus likeable.
You know now that I think about it the show already has several scenes of her putting up with Mark not showing up or showing up late, you could put emphasis on that, make it so at the beginning she's super understanding, "Oh don't worry, I understand, you were busy.", then slowly she becomes a little more frustrated, but still forgives him for the most part, then she starts showing a bit more that she's angry, at the end of her outbursts adding "I'm sorry, I know you're trying but..." And then when you get to the fight with the robot instead of being mad because "you ran away, you left us" like in canon, you change it to "You left ME!", so we have a throughline seeing how she goes from trying to be the super understanding supportive girlfriend to realizing she can't deal with with dating a superhero and being mad not only at Mark but also at herself, and in the actual breakup just make it so when Mark ask why she didn't say she knew his identity she cries and says "I thought I could deal with it! I thought- I didn't want to be selfish, I tried, I really did, I thought I could... but I can't." you keep the reveal of she knowing, show some of her character flaws, but keep her motivation relatable while only making minor changes to the script.
@@Rynamony Good idea, but part of the point of their breakup (for plot reasons) was so that it was Mark's fault, and with your fix, the breakup would be more of her fault imo
I thought about this, what do u think?:
I had another idea, much more simple and less criative than the video's, which can be both a good and a bad thing as I though the video's idea was a little too convoluted. We keep everything exactly the same as the show did up to their last argument, when Amber reveals she is mad at Mark not because he lied to her, but instead because he used of the same lies as her former best friend did. It turns out her best friend was also a superhero and Amber never figured it out until it was too late. With the lies that Mark told her (very similar to her friend's lies), she started to realize who Mark was, but she was not certain and did not want to believe in it, as it would be too painful. When Mark and Amber start arguing, she tells him that he was doing the exact same as her former friend and that it was not okay. Lying to her on a day by day basis, and then one day he would die, and not come back, and she would be left alone. After her friend died this way, she had to do therapy and etc, and what Mark is doing is just not okay, he's completely ignoring her feelings in their relationship, and then they break up and Mark feels bad about himself. So the scenes and their consequences would be the same as in the show, besides the exact reason why they fought.
obs: She getting mad at him missing the dates and at his excuses was not because she believed in them, but instead because she was starting to realize he was a superhero and she did not want to believe in that, so she got mad.
Ehh I think this one places too much blame on amber mark was partly to blame too. I don’t think you should go into a relationship hiding something so important from your SO way too dangerous
@@ElfosDeMordor Good point!!! I guess part of why I made it so much more of her fault in my rewrite is that... I genuinely don't think Mark was at fault? At least not with how they portrayed the relationship in the show. He failed to show up several times, but as stablished that's what you deal with when dating a superhero.
Hmmm the only think I can think about that would make it his fault would be that because of failing to hide his identity some villain attacks him while he's on a date with her, so she wouldn't just be feeling like she isn't a priority but also worry about her safety, something like "I'm risking my life by dating you and you won't even tell me the reason we were attacked!" ....BUT that would need adding an entire new episode, or seriously changing one of the already existing ones.... Hmmmm I'll need more time to think about how to make her motivation for breaking up sympathetic without heavily altering the overall characterization and backstories, the fact she knew all along, and not altering the script of the rest of the show outside of a couple lines here and there, and also make it so Mark has at least 50% of the blame..... 🤔🤔🤔
I love the irony of her line about losing Mark given that the whole problem countless worlds have with Viltrumites is that they just can't die. Even with one of the most terrifyingly resilient beings in the galaxy and Amber still worries she'll lose him, and she almost did to the same man who took her father; who is coincidentally Mark's own father. And even more ironic is that this fear of losing everything you love is one of Nolan's own fears and one of his main points to convince Mark, his iconic "What will you have in 500 years" and "Everything you love will crumble away" are born from this same fear.
It really just ties everything together.
I think they wanted her to be less of a damsel, so they made her smart enough to figure it out. They wanted a perfect and capable girl, hence why she’s such a charity case.
This goal also carried over to Debbie. She started off with a job, and managed to dig in and find out omniman did it. Somehow she managed to piece together what the federal government couldn’t.
The difference is that with Debbie they did an amazing job and actually made her a great character, with Amber they failed miserably and she's a very hated character as a result.
Yes and no. Cecil already knew Nolan did it, he just wanted to play dumb until they found a way to stop him. Debbie only started to suspect Nolan through Damien Darkblood’s notes. As for Amber, I feel like this whole situation could’ve been avoided if they did a better job foreshadowing her knowing Mark was Invincible, as well as change that whole scene at the college.
I think that this perfectly combines understandable reactions with the kind of semi-irrational behavior you'd expect from teenagers. Great job!
Something like this would also potentially set up Mark and Amber having a more professional relationship than an intimate one. After his fight with Omni-man, she would see how his world had been shattered every bit as much as hers. And they could both probably help each other reignite their determination to take superhero work seriously and take comfort from each other when they both feel like throwing in the towel. Amber could teach Mark about more practical parts of hero work outside of power uses, like keeping yourself covert. And Mark could probably talk into not giving up in the idea of heroism. Maybe she could be the bright new recruit at the GDF or a hero like Black Samson was. Honestly, that would make for an even greater subversion. Having them go from sweethearts to a more platonic relationship.
Wow... I mean WOW, that is one HELL of a storyline.
And even tho this is just a "presentaition of the idea" this gaved me the same feeling as I feel during well done emotinal moments.
Like syriesly, to say your interpretation is more than GOOD , would been an understatement.
Very good solve. Amber's character wasn't compelling in the comic book, or the show, but what you did was extremely impressive. Things like this make me excited to see what you do with your own content.
Comic Amber was basically a walking 2000's trope
True but I think the way their relationship ends in the comics is compelling since you don't really that in comics. They just talk realise they don't want to be together anymore for various reasons and break up amicably no drama necessary.
@@T-Jex atleast she accepted him being a superhero in the comic. While the comic's Amber was flawed, the animated version didn't do justice either in both appearance and writing.
Much like gender swaps happening at other characters, Amber's appearancr change was more drastic. Dunno why they have to do it other than the VA is black irl.
@@makmakg242 they literally broke up for the same reason. She knew he was a superhero and she got mad that he was busy saving people rather than being with her. The only difference is mark actually spoke his mind that he wasn't being fair with her and she had a rebound. As to where he didn't say anything to animated Amber making her look worse seem worse than comic Amber.
And what's wrong with animated Amber design? Comic book Amber is literally just the generic blond blue eyed girlfriend of every story. They didn't do justice with her in the animation when it comes to personality but they definitely did do justice by changing her appearance completely in the animation by not having her be the literal unoriginal design she is in the comics. I'm surprised that's the only thing you're upset about when the whole story was changed. All they're doing is sticking to the main plot, but all the side stories are completely different from the originals.
@@ocianikz9544 dunno why you're assuming that her appearance is the only thing I hated, as I watched Invincible's full S1 episodes and I do find it agreeable how the writing on Amber got ruined on Episode 7, in which I got stumbled upon by Uniquenameosaurus' video here. Guess the change in appearance is now just a personal preference.
Also can't we instead just agree to have both elements of both Amber adaptions together? Have Amber retain her comic appearance (with few tweaks here and there that doesn't deviate too much from the original comic so she can stand out) while she still retain the writing from the animation adaption to avert the "dumb blonde" trope (and fixing the Ep 7 reveal writing).
So you took an unbearably entitled brat who acts and is portrayed as all superior, and turned her into a paranoid, grieving, sympathetic character that fears for her life. Well played, sir. This would be a far better written character than the Amber we got. I like this idea.
Wow this is really really good. She would have gone from my least favorite to one of my favorite if not my favorite characters. The Omniman weakness thing would be a beautiful setup to how the story has gone in season 2 too
The one thing I’d change from this would be to put a bit of separation between the book burning and the massacre. Because the way you explained it here, with those two events so close it’s not a stretch to speculate on if the events are related. “negative emotions, hero related... Some heroes just died... she feels loss? She has a close connection to one of them?”
And there goes the effect of the twist. But if some time passes in between (screen-wise not just in-universe) and other events happen the connection between the scenes is less obvious.
I love the views and thoughts you have on writing.
For me this also helps with her scene in the last episode too, since she knows the pain of losing a dad who is a supe and her love and affection for mark would trump her paranoia in that situation
This is genuinely a fantastic rewrite, I was already convinced, but the darkwing reveal- literally straight fire
0:11 LongBeachGriffy had the best video essay out of all of them ngl
For what it is worth, I'd say that was a pretty good attempt with the one exception of this: your additions make it more lengthier than the original which was better paced. The biggest problem with Amber figuring it out as mentioned in this video, we never see how she did it or when. If it was made more clear for when and how the "subversion" wouldn't be necessary and make Mark's character even better as it would open more caution into the incredibly risky life style of a super hero. 7/10 keep going, you got this.
it all went wrong with literally one moment, if she didn't get mad at him for not being there,
and instead got mad at him for not trusting her enough to tell her the truth,
literally the same day he claimed things would be different and he would be serious then it would be perfect.
Like I can imagine her after the incident with him suddenly popping back up,
think that this is how things would stay in the future. and have her try to get him to share the secret.
Then she actually gets mad at him when he doesn't. in that way it makes sense, and
doesn't come off completely unrealistic.
You know, your videos on fixing poorly written aspects of stories kind of remind me of gaming challenge videos, (like Technoblade's "Beating Minecraft Hardcore but with a steering wheel" video.) What I mean by that is you didn't just propose a better way of writing Amber, that would be easy. Instead you purposely handicapped yourself by finding a better way of writing Amber without changing the key elements that caused people to dislike her in the first place. Maybe you could make this into a series of some kind. Like, I have very mixed feeling on the ending of Avatar: The Last Airbender. I would love to see you try to change things to make the ending work better while still having Aang take the Firelord's bending away instead of killing him.
I would love to see how he would rewrite the Avatar ending too!
I think the only issue with the AtLA ending was lack of foreshadowing removal of bending as an option. if they had an episode or two sprinkled in about sokka trying to gain bending and thus somehow a revelation that hints about the source of bending being from the spirit world you could have it "click" for aang in the fight
@@samuraipizzaman Especially since the Avatar is *THE* bridge between the Physical and spiritual world giving him the unique ability to manipulate bending.
Also it'd make an awesome epilogue where sometime after the war Aang offers to give Sokka bending and he looks down for a second, then to Master Piandao and finally back into Aang's eyes and says "I don't need it". Completing Sokka's character arc.
@@samuraipizzaman The lack of foreshadowing for bending removal isn't the only problem with the ending. Remember Aang regaining Avatar State by being thrown into a random pointy rock despite not achieving all the karmas? Aang didn't gave up on Katara plus Azula fried his ability anyway at the end of book 2 and somehow he can control it in the final fight.
Also, even if spirit bending was foreshadowed it still would've cheapen the impact of the Aang's conflict only less so. Avatar Yangchen told Aang everything he had to know straight to the point. "It's not about you, it's about the world" - she told him because Aang was too focused on excuces rather than accepting the fact that he had to kill the Firelord as a part of Avatar's duty to the world.
As it stands Aang was given deus ex machina to solve this conflict without a personal sacrifice or growth which was pretty dissapointing.
God damn I love this change bc it changes amber from being bitchy to being super smart and supportive. Like, in the show it feels like she's supposed to seem more logical and generally more intelligent than Mark, but the original scene made her seem overly emotional and not understanding at all. This makes her seem intelligent, understanding, helpful, and justified in being angry. Great idea
This was a genius rewriting, that is a good reason for her to be upset and not ruin her, at least for me. It finally adds a flaw to her otherwise flawless character they were portraying her as, making her more relatable
Dude... THIS FIXES EVERYTHING!!! The reveal with Amber's dad is also brilliant! you turned her from a selfish asshole into a compelling complex character study!
This... actually totally fixes her character (or well, mostly)
Her reason for dumping him is understandable, he's reckless, he doesn't think and she realises that there's thousands of people online pouring over every millisecond of footage trying to unmask him, and if they do, she'll be targeted either as a way to get info or as a way to lure him to a trap.
TBH if I was dating a superhero as reckless as Mark, I'd be pissed off at their recklessness too.
I hope this video blows up like your other invincible video did. You deserve the views dude.
Holy shit.
Your twist and the re-written dialogue is actually amazing. It's good writing. Fucking hell why do the actual writers have to do things so poorly when great writers like you exist?
Your version is beautiful, and when amber discovers that mark's dad is the one who did it, wow just wow the plot twist with darkwing was genius writing i am jealouse, wow
Wow this is 1000 times better then the original execution of her character arc and subversion, if it was official I'd still like her as a character , nice job and the plot twist you added gave a bit more depth to her making her not just retaining likeability but elevating to be sympathetic as well... I think I'll use it as my head cannon for the show , that way when season 2 comes I can actually stomach seeing her on screen LOL
Exactly and it makes her extremely relatable. With a backstory like that people could totally see her "logic" and see themselves thinking that way too if they were in that exact situation
Damn. This is a really good rewrite.
Amber would've made so much more sense as a character if they had done something like this
Amber strikes me as such an ill-conveived character, especially in a show like Invincible where the character writing tends to be rock solid. She's not what I would call sympathetic leading up to this, but this scene cements her as vindictive and selfish to an irrational degree. And for some reason the show frames her as being in the right, even though at best she's being unreasonable and at worst her motivation for being mad at Mark just... doesn't make sense.
This is amazing, you gave so much more backstory and info about two characters, one hated the other unknown. This is way better than the original
That works so much better. If they had just dialed herr birch energy back a bit too it would have also worked with her activism. If Darkwing is batman then her family is probably pretty philanthropic.
I still think Amber can still be fixed, she could very well be lying in the breakup scene and didn't know Mark was a superhero until he told her.
She felt compelled to lie because she needs to feel superior to others, for whatever reason.
i actually really like the rewrite. you found a way to actually humanize the character. i could even see it that Amber has her suspicions, but the cyborg incident put the nail in the head... or however that saying goes.
"Nail in the coffin", but I like "nail in the head" for its morbidity!
@@BoredomBee "hit the nail on the head" is the other idiom- old adage- saying- whatever
@@strider_hiryu850 Is it really? That's pretty funny!
@@BoredomBee yup. look it up.
Wow, that actually would’ve been crazier than the episode 1 twist holy shit
man I was a little iffy with it at first with the "you're so bad at hiding it puts me at risk"" like I was still thinking it was a bit overreactive but having including dark wing as her dad really does put it over the edge and make the anger she has towards mark make sense. Reminds me of lois and clarks argument in the new superman show, something that has way more of a foundation
Puts a whole new meaning to: "My dad can beat up your dad!"