Reesa Teesa's "Big Back" & Mrs. Netta's "Gender" | The Politics of Ugliness

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 ม.ค. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 523

  • @KingofReads
    @KingofReads  10 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    Here is a link to support me on Patreon
    www.patreon.com/kingofreads

    • @NoNonsense-h5v
      @NoNonsense-h5v 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Justin you are a beautiful person outside & in.Dont let these people with their petty way of thinking get you upset. You seem to have a really passionate heart & and try to have a really strong opinion for the people that don't have a voice & I really do appreciate that. The only thing you can do is focus on the people that understand your focus...
      Which is your voice your content and you being brave enough to say what other people won't say.Thank you so much for your work on these socials media streets and alleyways
      💜😎✌🏾
      We love ya FRIEND

    • @coffeesreviewsTV
      @coffeesreviewsTV 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I am so guillty of this I will make a big change

    • @YummiLolZ
      @YummiLolZ 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Exclusive podcasts? 👀

    • @squidtitties4197
      @squidtitties4197 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Justin can you post a link to DeShaun’s book? I would like to support 🫶🏾

  • @makeitmakesense2616
    @makeitmakesense2616 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +576

    Social media is the CIGARETTES of our generation

    • @theorderofthebees7308
      @theorderofthebees7308 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +48

      Yes !!!! My brother said that - years from now it’s going to come with a label may cause harm,

    • @katrinahtims6687
      @katrinahtims6687 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

      And sharing our personal sometimes inappropriate opinions/content is thee DRUG of it alllll

    • @MarloWick
      @MarloWick 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      LMFAOOOOOOOOOO YESSSSS LIKE OMG

    • @BLUification
      @BLUification 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      Yes no filter menthol 😅

    • @nalareignhtx
      @nalareignhtx 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Kool green shorts

  • @theorderofthebees7308
    @theorderofthebees7308 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +341

    One thing I noticed about the Ressa Tessa commentary is that very little is talked about the man and how much of a pathological liar he is. All of the commentary has been on her and at least “she held herself accountable. ‘ and there was no push to even examine the man the lies the madness, it says so much.

    • @Girlbffr98
      @Girlbffr98 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

      THIS!!!!

    • @blubeamin
      @blubeamin 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

      Majority of the conversation has been about him being a pathological liar and Reesa has had alot of people stand up for her as well. I definitely wouldn’t agree that people are ignoring that and even she came out and said he was diagnosed with a mental illness.

    • @MPPG663
      @MPPG663 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      No one needs to examine why a skunk stinks. Skunks stink.
      What we will wonder, is why someone came out their house to get as close to the skunk as possible.
      ....we don't need to "examine" why a pathological liar lies. That's simply what they do.
      Unfortunately for Reesa, she admitted to seeing the lies and red flags early, but she looked pass them in the pursuit of a Happy Ending.

    • @livewell-xt5xr
      @livewell-xt5xr 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      Meanwhile she has held herself accountable publicly, the whole series she's speaking on how she's accountable. Yet people still say she needs even more accountable

    • @theorderofthebees7308
      @theorderofthebees7308 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@livewell-xt5xr great point !

  • @shakeykirkir
    @shakeykirkir 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +748

    Everybody WILL NOT FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE. It’s the truth. Most people are drawn to people they are physically attracted to then it hopefully gets past just that. HOWEVER, you do NOT have to vocalize that you find someone unattractive. It’s so unnecessary. Nobody wants to be told they’re unattractive, even by those THEY deem unattractive. It’s not a good feeling, so I don’t get why people do it.

    • @jessicab331
      @jessicab331 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +95

      Baaaaby have you ever seen somebody that has been called extremely attractive by most ppl told they’re not attractive by somebody?! They crash out!

    • @shakeykirkir
      @shakeykirkir 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +81

      @@jessicab331Some people can’t handle that they’re not everyone’s cup of tea. Those are the types that are typically arrogant. Like yes, be confident and love on yourself…But crashing out because ONE PERSON may not find you attractive is crazyyy. A whole meltdown 😭

    • @ericaj4494
      @ericaj4494 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

      Most beauty standards have been learned and have never remained the same. Depends on culture and the times and we have studies talking about biases you learn even when little. So using that blanket statement about beauty standards falls flat. There are some cultures that embrace not having the best looking teeth etc. You can have preferences but also learn where said biases come from. Work on unlearning biases

    • @BeautifulDiaspora
      @BeautifulDiaspora 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +28

      Misery loves company. Period. These ppl know that you can have a mean opinion and not shout it out from the rooftops, they choose to to make people feel as bad as they do.

    • @lovelybonniealt7014
      @lovelybonniealt7014 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      Right! I was taught if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all, ppl be hella rude

  • @Mindfulbisavibe
    @Mindfulbisavibe 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +161

    A lot of yall missing the point. The issue is that so many people find VALUE in aesthetics. The way a person looks should not be a determining factor of worth.

  • @davidjrhd
    @davidjrhd 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +68

    Reesa Teesa isn't being rewarded for "bad behavior", she's being rewarded because she is a compelling storyteller who captivated people with that story!

  • @theorderofthebees7308
    @theorderofthebees7308 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +79

    It’s a known fact - retail store will hire people based on looks. Abercrombie and Fitch famously was known for hiring folks in the early 2000s for only being thin- and white . I knew someone that used to work at Abercrombie and she told me that they purposefully put clothing that was a size ten and above not accessible for folks to grab on their own if you were a size ten - you had to ask someone for help. It was a way of making the customer feel awkward and out of place,

  • @kokikodevereaux4932
    @kokikodevereaux4932 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +134

    The interesting thing is that most people are not significantly attractive. Average is average for a reason. I think that people try to gain leverage in any way that they can. If I'm 2lbs less than you, now I can shame you for being fat. It's gross.

    • @behappy-lg8fg
      @behappy-lg8fg 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Very true

    • @Bebe-wm1ot
      @Bebe-wm1ot 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      kim foster talked ab this in a video where she called herself an average 7 or sumn and she said the main ppl bashing her and calling her ugly were probs a 7.18
      there has to be a term for the urge to enforce domination over people that we are not even a whole step “above”

  • @famuns
    @famuns 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +69

    Justin you hit the nail on the head. Everyone was fine with Reesa Teesa and Miss. Netta as long as they were just here for the service of entertainment and giving people someone to look down on and steal content from (How many Charles your lunch is ready videos have we seen😒). As soon as they were perceived as benefiting from their content and lives, people turned on them.

    • @nwatson2773
      @nwatson2773 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Really?

  • @Almighty_Reader
    @Almighty_Reader 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +80

    Videos like these are soo important! It’s hard out here being an unapologetic black bigger gay man when everyone is so caught up into how you look and will treat you with disgust if you don’t subscribe to how society thinks you should look/ present yourself . It’s refreshing to see someone who looks like me have a successful platform with the ability to give us a space to just vent and be ourselves ❤️.

  • @ItsmeCR-g8j
    @ItsmeCR-g8j 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +111

    I had a different perspective on Shiela, from Why did I get married. I viewed her weight as a symptom/byproduct of how unhappy she was having her uncaring husband. I thought she lost herself in pedestalizing him. After the divorce, I viewed her going to the gym as her wanting to do something for herself, releasing her old self a building herself.

    • @SunnySecular
      @SunnySecular 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

      I did too. I don't know who this "we" is. I never laughed or even thought that. Some people have bubbles of a hive mind & it shows.🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @mercychocolate72
      @mercychocolate72 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +38

      “I viewed her weight as a symptom/byproduct of how unhappy she was having her uncaring husband”
      You’re saying it so directly but you’re still not catching it. It’s the same perspective just with an air of “empathy”. The blunt version of what you’re saying is: her fatness was a negative. A negative that had to be worked on in order to for a true self to be seen/accepted/raised…like are we seeing it? It’s ingrained, even when the attempt at rationalizing it is with “empathy”, the story of fatness and desirability is the same. Fatness is a negative, assumed to be self inflicted at that, that one must get rid of in order to build themselves…
      I’m just saying the language doesn’t change the ideology. The perspective you’re describing isn’t different. It’s the same one that is a result of white supremacy’s offspring: fatphobia. These forms of bigotry wouldn’t survive if they were always overt, obvious, and violent. Repackaging them is key to sustaining the pillars of white supremacy!! It’s up to us to see through it and not engage with it!

    • @jessicab331
      @jessicab331 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well apparently you’re supposed to just want to be overweight and if you don’t want to be you’re fat phobic.

    • @yageshabazz3456
      @yageshabazz3456 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Yeah and she found love before going to the gym; it blossomed as she starting working out and therefore working on herself.

    • @jessicab331
      @jessicab331 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Bereal-yd5gh even wen she “lost weight” in that film she still wasn’t small tho.

  • @synesthesia.aesthetic
    @synesthesia.aesthetic 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +186

    The term "big bacque" is bringing us back to anorexia and open body shaming culture. I loathe that fckin phrase.

    • @KayyKayy5000
      @KayyKayy5000 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

      I’ll admit I have used the term “big bacque” as a joke but never associated that term with being fatphobic. I’ll be mindful of that moving forward.

    • @nwatson2773
      @nwatson2773 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Any type of body shaming is a NO NO. Whether it is someone who is too tall, too short, too fat or too skinny!

  • @keshiamccray2173
    @keshiamccray2173 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +73

    Justin!!! I'm so happy and proud of you! I've been following you for a long time. Chile back when you had a fade and wore the black vee neck. 😂 I know you don't really read the comments, but if you happen to read this, it's been so wonderful to see you grow. 🤎🤎🤎🤎 All love!

    • @deesudie
      @deesudie 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      So great to see his evolution and journey!

  • @TheresaVibess
    @TheresaVibess 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +86

    Our society has always prioritized beauty…especially for women. I don’t think that will ever change unfortunately

    • @jessicab331
      @jessicab331 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      It won’t. Especially with plastic surgery so readily available.

    • @TheresaVibess
      @TheresaVibess 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      @@jessicab331 exactly the only thing that is ever changing is “beauty standards”.

    • @Chanticleer99
      @Chanticleer99 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It's written in our bones. Someone fit is HEALTHY. We are attracted to HEALTH.
      This conversation is pointless because it seeks to go against our wiring. King of Reads is fat, miserable and hates being dark skin and black. It is so exhausting.

  • @islandgirl8067
    @islandgirl8067 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +64

    I don’t watch Ms Netta, but very well said Justin! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 People, especially women, who are considered unattractive are ridiculed & told that as an “ugly” or”fat” person, they shouldn’t expect to find love or be treated with respect.

  • @ohhmyyken
    @ohhmyyken 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

    Im happy you’re discussing this. I was so hurt to hear about Ressa and these comments about her appearance. I just got out of a emotional abusive relationship and her sharing her own experience has been impactful in my healing. I can’t thank her enough.

    • @fromlissawithlove
      @fromlissawithlove 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Wishing you continued healing, love and peace on your journey luv ❤️❤️❤️

  • @nikkiglibra
    @nikkiglibra 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    So glad you did this. I was so proud of Reesa b/c of her openness of a very dark traumatic experience. Jennifer Lewis went through the same thing on being conned by a man she loved. Her story was on American Greed. No one (smart, "pretty", confident, etc) is exempt in being played and conned. A lot of people are ashamed and embarrassed to talk about it and try to save face. But I appreciate her saying it out loud. It's harder than what people think. That took courage, and it helps people. I hate that people are focused on superficial parts of the story that isn't relevant. It's difficult when you find yourself in a vulnerable time in your life and how you have to really have awareness at that time in your life. It's just frustrating to see the smoke for Reesa smh.

  • @AtirecMcClellan-mv4jd
    @AtirecMcClellan-mv4jd 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +131

    Big backs STILL get BENT over!
    Also to piggy back off what you said about undesirability is that society expects “undesirable” ppl to be quiet! As if unattractive ppl are supposed to just go and stay in the shadows.
    And that’s not right. Everyone deserves a voice.

    • @missshannonsunshine
      @missshannonsunshine 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      STOP saying this like men don’t bend over ANIMALS and LITTLE KIDS. Being bent over is no compliment. Pick anything else. Men will do the bending and won’t even bring u around their friends or even in mf public

    • @shamrockshow8490
      @shamrockshow8490 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      And, big back’s getting bent over means what? Are they getting married? Are they getting taking out in public? Are they being loved? Are they being respected? Are they being provided for?

    • @bird3938
      @bird3938 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@shamrockshow8490literally what's your point ☠️

    • @shamrockshow8490
      @shamrockshow8490 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@bird3938 I see you’re SLOW! My point is just because someone is getting “ bent over” doesn’t mean they’re valued or respected. Honestly, doesn’t mean anything at all! Do, the person who made that comment didn’t prove anything

    • @bird3938
      @bird3938 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@shamrockshow8490 Lmao get off your phone cornball. Op clearly pointed out overweight people are both cared for and desired sexually and everyone's desires are different, which is why they have no bearing on a person's value. Calling someone else slow but you don't understand the concept of a 'main idea'. Acting like a loser bc i asked a question 💀

  • @desiwash08
    @desiwash08 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +78

    But the TP example using Sheila finding love after she dropped weight is inaccurate. He was attracted to her, she was self conscious about her weight due to the last partner and he told her if she didn’t like it, do something about it. He loved her either way but didn’t like her beating herself up about it.

    • @ericacrawford1978
      @ericacrawford1978 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      Right. In that moment he literally told her how amazing and beautiful she was.

    • @black_widow8432
      @black_widow8432 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I just made this comment 👏🏾

    • @sjlewis271
      @sjlewis271 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      But then you miss the part where it didn't make a difference. SHE STILL WAS FAT...FOR TWO WHOLE MOVIES!🙄 So... what was the point?!

    • @sjlewis271
      @sjlewis271 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      But there was no point in doing it. She was still overweight AFTER THE SUIT.🙄

    • @BXsugar321
      @BXsugar321 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This!

  • @theamazingdoubleA
    @theamazingdoubleA 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +168

    I can agree that we live in a fatphobic world. It’s unfair to assume that larger bodies are unhealthy but it’s also unfair to assume fitness is purely vanity…working out has improved my mind/body/God connection. It has diminished my levels of depression. We shouldn’t assume anything about anyone for anything. It’s sad that we can’t just live and let live.

    • @wk7821
      @wk7821 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

      Yes, working out helps me mentally and emotionally....I'm 66😊

    • @IkaneishaJenkins
      @IkaneishaJenkins 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Yes! This is the exact reason I work out and clean lol it helps me mentally.

    • @tenisansay7132
      @tenisansay7132 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      He says that because he’s jealous. And resentful of the consequences of not having long term discipline.

    • @sjlewis271
      @sjlewis271 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      Though I understand what you're saying and your experience, we also need to talk about the statistics around ppl who work out and ppl who don't. Ppl who work out are more likely to have body dysmorphia than those that don't. Though your experience may be for your good, there are more ppl that don't even work out for their health or vanity. They do it out of OBSESSION to the point where it's a disorder! I work out as well. But we have to address that if we want to be honest.

    • @sjlewis271
      @sjlewis271 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

      ​@@tenisansay7132Here we go with the fake care for ppl's health. 🙄 Y'all don't care about ppl's health. YOU CARE ABOUT THEIR LOOKS. If he got surgery, this comment wouldn't be a thought. 🙄

  • @XabeebaX
    @XabeebaX 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Your commentary is accurate. We all witness how media negatively portrays people with larger bodies. I worry about the younger generation growing up with social media pressures

  • @zoramckoy7989
    @zoramckoy7989 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    you’re thee KING of Reads for a reason. this video is so necessary and i share every sentiment with you! i am so glad you said it. pls keep making your content!

  • @deidrawells1249
    @deidrawells1249 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +134

    Here come the dense ass "what's wrong with being fit and healthy??" crowd missing the point as usual lmao. I need yall to use your ears and LISTEN to what Justin is saying or better yet, read a book!

    • @BooksNailsCups
      @BooksNailsCups 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      I have already read about 5 of them. I rolled my eyes and kept scrolling.

    • @Girlbffr98
      @Girlbffr98 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      They been through this comment section throwing a fit lol

    • @knockitoffsam
      @knockitoffsam 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Yep. They’re all up and through

    • @jessicab331
      @jessicab331 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      I guess but don’t nobody gotta keep tip toeing around cuz ppl are insecure… me sayin I need to get my body together shouldn’t make a person feel a way.

    • @sjlewis271
      @sjlewis271 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      ​@@jessicab331 Meanwhile... you don't even understand what you're saying when you say that. THAT, RIGHT THERE, IS THE POINT. "Getting your body together" means what?! You don't say "I need to exercise for my health." Or "I went to the doctor and my *blank* was high. I'm going to change that by changing my lifestyle." In essence, you're not even admitting the truth to yourself with your own words for your own body. YOU'RE THE ONE THAT POINTED OUT THAT YOU'RE UNDESIRABLE BECAUSE OF YOUR BODY WITH NOBODY ASKING!🤦🏾‍♀️

  • @cameroncapers7807
    @cameroncapers7807 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    I got made fun of from elementary school through high school for being fat. I’m 27 now and I’m still dealing with internalized fatphobia and it’s hard. It messes with your self esteem and confidence.

  • @wanderlustdreamer2055
    @wanderlustdreamer2055 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Wow, it feels like I went to church and heard the word. And I did. Beautifully said. Thank you ❤

  • @ThatTravelingAhhNurse
    @ThatTravelingAhhNurse 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +117

    I’m a big, dark skinned woman and when I showed my coworkers what my man looked like, one girl told me,” Kiara, we love you, but remember that your nobody’s sugar mama.” Bih what?! Just because, I’m not traditionally “desirable “. Smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @missshannonsunshine
      @missshannonsunshine 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Lmaoo wtf you’re very pretty. Jill Scott is bigger but nobody can deny mad ppl of all sizes and genders want her

    • @cecily387
      @cecily387 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

      Kind of weird that you were showing your coworkers your man. It reeks of insecurity.

    • @SAThomas777
      @SAThomas777 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +96

      @@cecily387 Maybe, just maybe.. consider that the coworker may have asked to see a picture and she felt comfortable enough to share the picture. Kind of weird to assume someone is insecure for engaging in typical office banter. If anything the coworker is displaying insecurity by even fixing their mouth to make a comment like that. We don't always get the full story, and we're not entitled to it; but having some social intellect outside of these internet streets really does wonders for our discernment.

    • @cecily387
      @cecily387 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@SAThomas777 ~ You might want to learn how to use the word banter in proper context. Be well.

    • @sjlewis271
      @sjlewis271 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@cecily387Ppl have desks and they put pictures on them. Let's get a life. 😒

  • @me_as_marta
    @me_as_marta 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I really appreciate how you challenge my perspective, thank you for what you do Justin ❣️

  • @lillybilly9954
    @lillybilly9954 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Most of us are ugly (people in general). Rather than that being totally fine and normal we tend to point it out when we see it and do so loudly. And that is with the hope that no one will notice the ways in which we’re ugly too.

  • @JessicaJmoney
    @JessicaJmoney 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    This topic resonates with me so much. It’s sad that so many of these comments are ( not surprisingly) missing the point of the video.

  • @MoyaahP
    @MoyaahP 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Justin you put your foot down on this one!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I lived loved and agreed with every word! ❤

  • @CharmingDiva
    @CharmingDiva 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +96

    I don't care for Netta or Charles. There's something not right was their relationship it's not even about looks. I did not watch any of the episodes of Miss Teasa I couldn't invest the time.

    • @ChuckysOveralls
      @ChuckysOveralls 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

      Charles and Netta are some misogynists. I don't feel bad for em, but i do hope Netta has no complications from that chop shop.
      Reesa, people are overly invested in blaming her situation on her weight when it goes beyond that. I'd look at the pressures women face to get married and have kids by a certain age first. And society tells you that you're less than if you don't have those things by a certain age and that if you Aren't on a certain level physically then you need to take what you can get. You don't vet a man if you're not "pretty" bc you don't havethe right. Then, when those women end up with a dud, they're called stupid and desperate by the same people who told them they need to settle.
      This societal pressure has gotten women of all sizes into trouble.

    • @CharmingDiva
      @CharmingDiva 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      @@ChuckysOveralls I agree with you on on many parts of this

    • @katrinahtims6687
      @katrinahtims6687 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I didn't watch it either
      I've watched too many of thee saaaaaame stories/issues...

    • @freespiritmara
      @freespiritmara 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Same. And then I saw that Charles & Netta were going on tour. Huh?! Why?! Who's paying to see them?!

    • @knockitoffsam
      @knockitoffsam 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@ChuckysOverallsyou said a thing!

  • @prwhisperer
    @prwhisperer 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you for all of this. So much truth I have to bookmark this and return to it time and time again. Thank you!

  • @1slummzzs
    @1slummzzs 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    Let’s not pretend external phenotypic traits such as weight, skin tone/color, beauty dictates a lot. Dispite people claiming it doesn’t and speak extensively on inner beauty, we know it’s a lie.
    Netta’s social media is popular due to ppl clowning and reviling in her “ugliness” and negative traits.. that alone says it all. Atleast netta making a bag 💰 in it…

  • @LatishasVoice
    @LatishasVoice 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    YES, YES and MORE YES!!!! I have been saying my whole fat life... I've lost and gained wait for years, but I vowed that I will NEVER do "Before" and "After" pictures. Because to me, the Before says that's when I wasn't deserving and now in the After I am worthy, when I am worthy ALL. THE. TIME. regardless of who finds me attractive. We have the right to exist exactly how we are at every moment and at any weight.

  • @joaniedaniel9889
    @joaniedaniel9889 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    ❤you for your honesty and your willingness to keep being you. Keep it up

  • @iman4137
    @iman4137 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    THIS!!!!!!!!!! Justin you always come through when I need you most 🌻🌻🌻

  • @harriyanna
    @harriyanna 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    literally THANK YOU for calling out disney.

  • @courtneycobb43
    @courtneycobb43 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +80

    Fatphobia, desirability, and superficiality runs rampant in the black community, it’s so engrained into our community. It’s sickening

    • @sagba947
      @sagba947 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      How when majority of the people are bigger? No being skinny and black is a crime

    • @Garglemymayo
      @Garglemymayo 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      ​@@sagba947 I see what you're saying but that more so falls under desirability. Skinny girls (no titties/ass) are picked on unless they're a 10 facially in the black community. Being thick/curvy is upheld as the standard but that's different from being a "big bacque".

    • @faerie111
      @faerie111 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      u should understand how deeply self hate is deployed in us@@sagba947

    • @8mydaydream409
      @8mydaydream409 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@@sagba947No one considers being skinny a crime, so stop 🛑!

    • @alkahinat4558
      @alkahinat4558 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The superficiality is overwhelming

  • @jstar308
    @jstar308 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    Instead of worrying about people who don’t find us attractive, we need to put that energy towards people who do find us attractive

    • @sjlewis271
      @sjlewis271 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Meanwhile...attractiveness connects to how we're treated at work, in healthcare, how we are treated when needing services...IT ALL MATTERS. That means that it should be addressed. PERIOD.

  • @ministrymondays9448
    @ministrymondays9448 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for this. So glad I found you through Jessie Woo. ❤

  • @Kharyne
    @Kharyne 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    PREACH!!!! Hands down one of your best videos!!

  • @em.415
    @em.415 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

    I knew people were going to have less sympathy for Reesa because of how she looked. Also this is on a bigger scale but people (black folks) were saying they didn’t believe Tarana Burke being a survivor of sexual assault because of how she looked. Basically saying black men would never r word a woman who looked like Tarana. It was triggering that my community is still so ignorant and misogynistic.

    • @harriosis
      @harriosis 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I don’t think her looks have anything to do with it. I don’t think she didn’t get the sympathy because people don’t feel like she’s truly a victim. She told one helluva story. However, he didn’t scam, steal, beat, or cheat on her. Her paid her bills and bought her a car. He told her lies on getting her out the hood and moving too a $600k home, buying a BMW, and going to London to name a few.

    • @HERDuh565
      @HERDuh565 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@harriosishe did cheat on her.

  • @Ayesha_Michelle
    @Ayesha_Michelle 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    We deeply hate ourselves and we’re taught to. The mentality you have to have to keep your mind together has to be strong and grounded in love. I did a music video and someone in good intentions congratulated me on being vulnerable to be myself in a music video and I was perplexed by it because I wasn’t even looking at it from a place of this is gonna be perceived as not “normal”. It’s not something you can ever eradicate, but when you catch yourself pulling folks apart check it, check your heart and intentions and reset. Social media has been a cesspool for fake self love❤

  • @kmcharles92
    @kmcharles92 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Been reading Dashaun’s book belly of the beast and it is life changing!!! ❤

  • @mathwithmarneshia
    @mathwithmarneshia 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Damn! You ate this down!

  • @coleproctor123
    @coleproctor123 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You’re absolutely right and it’s such a hard conversation to have because people either feel attacked personally because they know deep down they’re guilty of bein cruel to people they find unattractive or they’re on the receiving end of mistreatment and they don’t wanna seem sensitive

  • @cosmicwzrd
    @cosmicwzrd 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Beauty is a concept designed to make you feel inferior. Nobody is beautiful. Nobody Is Ugly ❤

  • @Beautyroom300
    @Beautyroom300 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    I never thought Sheila’s experience was humorous even as a movie. I was triggered.

  • @standalone856
    @standalone856 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    That's exactly why i dont do social media. Social media has become a place for people to lash out and pour out their insecurities on others.

  • @banditbabyyy
    @banditbabyyy 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    As a woman who’s had weight issues since childhood - weight may impact your self esteem and the amount of BS you put up with - let’s call a spade a spade. Not every heavyset person will, and not every skinny person won’t, but when it comes to heaviness in a world where we’ve come off the kitten heels of Mr. Samuels rating women’s dress sizes, having a man or the idea of having one, can make one feel like who they have is all they’ll get. Ignoring that for the sake of appearing unbothered alienates women who go through this dilemma.

  • @Vxruxxss
    @Vxruxxss 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    So true! smh before I did the inner work, I had the same mindset. I was fat growing up, always teased for me weight. When I lost weight due to stress and depression, I got so much attention and compliments because I was curvy and petite. But men only wanted me for my body and I didn't have anything else to offer because I had such low self esteem and self hate. Subsquently, I was used and abused. Fast forward I gained the weight back and I love and value myself more. I don't pay attention to anyone weight or outward looks. I care about peoples heart.

  • @kathysanders8997
    @kathysanders8997 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You're speaking truth King!

  • @prettyjoyfab
    @prettyjoyfab 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Black people do have access to beauty. I think we do ourselves a disservice when we say all darkskin people are politically undesirable because it erases the privileges of conventionally attractive dark skin people. Kelly Rowland/Coco Jones are not living the same reality of access to beauty and its privileges as someone who looks like Reesa Teesa, and that is because of the privileges that their conventional beauty affords them. The idea that politically, all darkskin people are unattractive rubs me the same way as when people rightfully disapprove of darkskin women being transphobic but miss the mark by saying “you’re not considered a woman by society standards anyways so you are the same as trans people”.It’s further subjugating black people by exaggerating reality and is overly pessimistic in my opinion.

    • @Garglemymayo
      @Garglemymayo 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I agree. I especially feel for all the little black girls who see this narrative and grow up feeling less than by default. Especially cuz there are going to be people of other skintones/races who aren't as conventionally beautiful who are going to take advantage of their low self esteem and put them down to elevate themselves. Or they'll lower their standards just to be loved by someone because they've been told they have no value.

    • @prettyjoyfab
      @prettyjoyfab 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@Garglemymayo exactly. Accepting that black=unconventional beauty or just ugly is so damaging to our psyche as humans. Expecting us to internalize that we cannot be considered beautiful in a world where beauty is capital, and very important at that is not rooted in reality.

  • @africanTHEfire
    @africanTHEfire 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Very powerful video
    Everybody adult on Earth should see this

  • @feliciajenkins5041
    @feliciajenkins5041 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Thought I was the only one who thought this. Thank you. I just lost lots of weight but I still cover up cause I'm still very self conscious. I love when it's cold so I can wear my big coat.

  • @captnghosteyes
    @captnghosteyes 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    I’m big, but I’m just learning to love myself. Reesa is beautiful and so is Ms. Netta. Let people be HAPPY! Damn! People are SOOO miserable that they’re so obsessed w/ projecting their self-hatred onto someone who is HAPPY! As a community, WE NEED TO DO BETTER AS ALLIES TO THE BLK 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍🌈 FOLX! Nothings uglier than a person with an evil/nasty spirit. Whew chile… Make it make sense! Much love, Justin! You da BEST (in my DJ Khaled voice)!!!

    • @fromlissawithlove
      @fromlissawithlove 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Louder for the ppl in the back who don’t understand that we as a people are all we have. Outside of our spaces we are either tokenized, dehumanized or fetishized- and if we don’t understand that we can’t be pro-black WITHOUT inclusivity and intersectionality, we are going to fold. The outside world sees skin, they don’t see queer/fat/skinny/disabled/autistic-etc, so we need to be more on code than all of the scripts holding these digital spaces together. And that’s on Kathrine Johnson.

  • @hearthhrmony8172
    @hearthhrmony8172 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I hate social media too King of Reads. Its very ugly.

  • @mykaylawyrick445
    @mykaylawyrick445 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Loved the conversation Justin! I wonder if this could be applied to women who get surgery and come to internet and state they did themselves but from there social media its for thr male gaze.... Then there's a debate between women in the gym vs those who get surgery. They are literally one in the same if you ask me.

  • @tanyadru1484
    @tanyadru1484 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    The funny thing is they shamed Ressa Tessa for falling for Legion shanegings but didnt shame Porshea for falling for Simon shanegings. Same story different desirability

    • @nwatson2773
      @nwatson2773 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      And Porsha got a bunch of surgery and still got dealt dirty!

  • @skyetranqille9534
    @skyetranqille9534 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    I'm going to be very honest. I'm considered desirable/pretty. However I'm still human, and every little imperfection haunts me, because especially as a black woman, I feel I have to be exactly perfect or I'll never find love in a package like Charles. So seeing them together made me really happy. And that sounds messed up, and I'm willing to admit that. But seeing someone "ugly" so loved out loud and happy gave me hope that I will find somebody. It's weird to me anybody took their love as an opportunity to find hate versus seeing examples of every type of human being loved.

  • @m.d.1395
    @m.d.1395 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You better say it!
    It was preached to me growing up that I had to be thin to be attractive and get a boyfriend. When I was thin for five minutes, folks questioned how I got there and assumed eating disorder / disordered eating.

  • @winifredallen1726
    @winifredallen1726 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You tell them King Of Reads!!! Ppl are so so so shallow today. It's ridiculous!

  • @lesliejackson3844
    @lesliejackson3844 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Such good content!!!!

  • @vickybarnes1469
    @vickybarnes1469 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you, for the truth and being on point. Yes it’s a touchy subject topic etc. there are a lot of mean & cruel people in this world🌍😢!

  • @DSa75044
    @DSa75044 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    This video read me for filth in the best way. I need to become a better person in this area!

    • @behappy-lg8fg
      @behappy-lg8fg 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Right! I need to work on my internalized fatphobia, colorism etc.

  • @stolenartco
    @stolenartco 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You said it so well! I never understood the netta hate. It was ridiculous and still is. Let ppl live ❤

  • @pinkdymindz
    @pinkdymindz 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I appreciate this perspective. I'll be more aware of my thoughts and words moving forward

  • @dejstoney
    @dejstoney 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    “Y’all not goin to the gym for health. Y’all goin to the gym to keep your SOCIAL CAPITAL.”
    EXACTLYYYY, KING. PREACH 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @Girlbffr98
    @Girlbffr98 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    A lot of yall are projecting realllllly bad in this comment section. Literally responding to things Justin never said in the video. Like he said a lot of yall are not good ppl AT ALL !

  • @sandymoon4159
    @sandymoon4159 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    All I can say is AMEN, well said thank you

  • @quitamoon
    @quitamoon 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    As a fat person i barely post full body pics because I dress well but I don't want to promote it. I even go as far as turning off comments because I don't look for the comments. I want the audience to have thier own opinions

  • @faerie111
    @faerie111 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    its scary how much desire / sexual desire runs the world. terrifying

  • @callipygian_isis8009
    @callipygian_isis8009 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Great content! This is such a complex issue. On one hand I find the gravitation towards attractiveness is innate or natural; and not a learned behavior. Studies have shown us that infants as young as 3 months prefer to look at physically attractive human faces. However, we have advanced intellectually to the point where we have discernment. We as a society can acknowledge our natural instincts; but not feed into them. It's simply a "know better; do better" thing at this point.

  • @rizuejigu7402
    @rizuejigu7402 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    "Ur not a good person sister!"..13:35...😢😂😂

  • @superstarYK
    @superstarYK 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Great conversation! Also, let's further the conversation by discussing how disability and neurodivergence intersect with undesirability and fatphobia.

  • @LoveAndSnapple
    @LoveAndSnapple 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I remember how everyone went after Zendaya's parents when she was rising up in her career. Her parents could be considered the interracial version of Charles and Ms. Netta.

  • @MarloWick
    @MarloWick 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    I love and agree with the points you make about ugliness and fatphobia, but it was interesting for you to give Cardi B some support on her newest freestyle even with her having a fatphobic line in it. But nonetheless, valid points were made throughout the video! ❤

  • @hersupreme3348
    @hersupreme3348 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I hate social media too I hate how much my career is integrated with having to engage on social media. I’m so sorry that you’re feeling overwhelmed. I hate all of this too.

  • @Adreal357
    @Adreal357 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    But, they follow and love Chrisean rock and blueface but she shouldnt be rewarded for stupidity? those two couldnt rub two brain cells together.

  • @StartingFromExperience
    @StartingFromExperience 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    It’s true most ppl some can’t see value outside of social status and paychecks..

    • @toombs6287
      @toombs6287 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      💯💯💯💯

  • @xXnoomzyXx
    @xXnoomzyXx 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for this video

  • @kokowalker
    @kokowalker 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is why im not on instagram or Facebook and youtube aint no better. Calling someone big back is ignorant and some of these youtube bloggers were saying it to im not saying no names

  • @bobbyainsworth5703
    @bobbyainsworth5703 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The way I felt this video....❤❤

  • @ShannaB09
    @ShannaB09 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This needs to be talked about more. Those who feel it know it.

  • @seaul8r1120
    @seaul8r1120 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    While folks shouldn't have to prove this:
    Even when I was fat (I lost weight due to illness) I didn't have noooo problems dating. People were attracted to all of me. My body, personality, mind were-- and still are sought after, not even on some chaser bs.
    The world told me that my Black chubby trans self wouldn't be wanted and honestly that ain't true at all.
    You really hit the point when saying anti-fatness is anti-blackness. Black folks bodies are racialized and treated as a spectacle. It sucks that so many of us still feed into that.

  • @VideoJAYmer
    @VideoJAYmer 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    I actually want Justin to make a video on antifatness. Get into the myths about fat folks and health and what images we think of when we say health, healthyness, and even being clean. Maybe talk a bit about diet culture and how most physicians don’t really know nor care about fat people and nutritionists and dieticians know much more. Maybe talk about being “built bad” or precious “jokes”. I’m thin and have been my entire life so I can never fully encapsulate antifatness so, I’m wondering what’s your take as someone who is fat and has dealt with antifatness

  • @MissGrandeko
    @MissGrandeko 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    From a lived experience, this is very accurate. I used to weigh over 600 pounds, and have lost over 200, and the way I am treated now is night and day. When I throw on a wig and some makeup I fit into a semblance of beauty because I'm lighter skin even though I'm still fat. I still have "a long way to go", but I have checked out of even trying to date much less fall in love because I see people for who they are, and I know the cruelty/biases most people within themselves have first hand. To be fat is to be ugly and disgusting, and you deserve to be treated as such. Go to any comment section of a plus size person sharing their life online, whether they are trying to lose weight or not, and you will see some of the most heinous comments ever. When I needed the kindness and grace the most I wasn't given it, and now that I've lost a significant amount of weight now I am treated with more care. It's messed up and has definitely left me with some battle wounds lol

  • @SunnySecular
    @SunnySecular 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Never heard of this Netta person until today, but I just looked it up. The comments are insane on those videos.

  • @hersupreme3348
    @hersupreme3348 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I hate it so much!! it’s actually so disgusting seeing people determine who deserves safety care and love

  • @flowerpower250
    @flowerpower250 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I saw someone say “No hate but why?” In response to Reesa Teesa being signed to a creative agency. And lots of people have been asking similar questions and it’s all misogynoir and fatphobia. That woman created 8 hrs worth of content, essentially an audio book and captivated millions of followers. Do people not understand what a feat that is in this attention economy?? She’s not being rewarded for her “stupidity” (I don’t think she was/is stupid at all) and it’s simply not true. She’s being rewarded because she’s an incredibly talented storyteller who was courageous enough to share the most traumatic experience of her life with the world.
    And it’s funny because these questions only come up when fat people or people who are considered undesirable are rewarded for their visibility. No one had a problem with Reesa Teesa when they were listening to her story. People love a spectacle especially on the internet. They are mad she’s benefiting from being a spectacle. Same with Ma Netta. People have literally platformed her and her man, only to turn on them. They only want to see undesirable on their own terms and if they are suffering/worse off than them. It’s also so pathetic to watch.

  • @tmgause95
    @tmgause95 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Sometimes people are called pretty all the time but they dont even think that about themselves. Also beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

  • @Clover_868
    @Clover_868 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Im glad thay you're making this video because i saw this coming. comments on her looks instead of how that man treated her .🙄 And as usual the "strive to be fit" people in the comments still don't understand this isn't an attack on fitness but fatphobia, get over it and go educate yourselves. The comments can be so annoying and ignorant sometimes

  • @rockthefro
    @rockthefro 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    the thing with Ms. Netta is that she reinforces gender norms for women at a time when women are being shamed for not being traditional. I think its intentional, and I came to that conclusion after Charles had that misogynistic rant against women - he attend the church of Kevin Sammuels. Nah, im good, i put them in the same category as all those videos Mormon videos pushing women cooking for women - this the Black version! with that said, the body shaming of large bodies need to stop, from Mrs. Netta to Reesa Teessa, im with you on that my brother!

  • @kimberlym.4595
    @kimberlym.4595 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You are so right! Why do we find such negativity entertaining! I guess because it's not our life.

  • @leelee6946
    @leelee6946 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Great commentary. Most people are average at best. We have seen bombarded with the lives of the beautiful and wealthy. And advertisers have capitalized on our insecurities. It’s to the point that many feel that conventionally attractive are the only people deserving of love and respect. It’s sad. And black people, especially fat and dark skinned, catch hell, even from other black people.

  • @teamivy5353
    @teamivy5353 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I agree 100% with what you said

  • @troublewomantroublewoman2224
    @troublewomantroublewoman2224 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Amen preach on this people need to stop being mean

  • @SteveThePisces
    @SteveThePisces 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Now he preached right here!!

  • @Adreal357
    @Adreal357 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    who are charles and netta to give relationship advice? And beyonce was cheated on, so was halle berry and etc. no matter what you look like these men will embarrass you on all tax brackets.

    • @mahogany_chanel
      @mahogany_chanel 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Charles has a Kevin Samuels mindset if you listen to his lives. The way he talks about women. I actually love Netta it’s that damn Charles that’s so Misogynistic and you can tell it makes Netta uncomfortable.

  • @viperbubbles3358
    @viperbubbles3358 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    There is so much to unpack here🤦🏽‍♀️.