Your cancellation is actually how I found you. I saw her video and decided to check out your videos to get a feel for the situation, saw your comedy style, and immediately thought the whole thing was soooo ridiculous as an objective observer. What I can't understand is that she knew this was your style of comedy, bought tickets as an enthusiast of this style of comedy, and got super assmad that this style of comedy was performed. As a turbo online gay lefty myself it is super disheartening to see how many people in my demographic will try to end someone's career over the drop of a hat. Just know that there are many more like me out there. Keep doing your thing !
+1 although I was here before the cancellation - I'm very happy to see Ashley make it through and see the community around here has just become stronger. I was so worried she'd fold and capitulate to the hate mob, but I should've known better. I'm very happy she had her podfam and comedy fam behind her. 💟
Yeah you are right about the damage it did triggering people, I had been listening to ashleys podcasts regularly for maybe over a year, and when the shit started to go down I clicked on a youtube reactors videos thinking "I know her comedy style, it can't be that bad, whats all this about" and was treated to the audio which sounded to my trauma brain like a legit rage tantrum and set off my entire (already worn out) nervous system, and it sounded like there couldn't possibly be a context in which it was excusable.. and made ashley feel like not a safe place anymore during an exceptionally shit time in my life, and having no other info to go on from her end I had to take a break from her and now I'm doing a bit better I am back to hear her out
@@stephe1506Honestly people need to stop taking out of context audio clips as reality. Especially since it was also heavily edited and disgusting. It really feels like someone tried to cancel her on purpose as revenge and that’s not okay. + the person who edited and posted it should be the one apologising, for not only causing harm to Ash, but her community, AND endangering everyone.
@stephe1506 the whole thing made me lose respect for nickisnotgreen because it was so clear to me that he had done zero research on Ashley, wasn't even aware of the chosen family podcast, knew nothing about her struggles with EDS or her history with mental health. But I'm glad Ashley was able to come out of this feeling a little stronger.
@@osllq9355 omg yes I agree.👍🏿Honestly, I lost all respect in the beginning of his first video when he showed a bunch of clips of her talking about gay stuff and he literally did a "Is that all you do?" type riff. That was pretty gross. The irony - he was trying to take her down a peg regarding comedy and he just used a lazy, homophobic joke we've all heard over and over and over again. Also Ashley is _funny_ - period. I had recently watched her special, so seeing a dude _unironically_ respond to her with "Is that all you do?" was such a bummer and _wasn't_ _funny_ Anyways, it's nice to see I wasn't the only person who was disappointed by those videos.
@@circleofleaves2676 yes and the nonbinary. i love it bc ur getting every perspective but also is hilarious bc they keep getting confused bc they dont understand the others pov
Ashley, I just wanna say that you are one of the most genuine people on the internet. When I first heard everything, I knew something about it wasnt right. Im so sorry those things happened to you, they shouldn't happen to anyone. Im so glad your not giving up, and im proud of you for the way you handled the situation. There is no right way to do anything when people are all in their feelings. Im so grateful for your content, it really helps me get through the day. I definitely learn alot and can relate to alot of it. Thank you for being you, and sharing it with all of us.
49:19 Ashley saying "keep going, finish the script" while talking about that horrible time she was misunderstood to a point where her and her loved one's safety got jeopardized is why I'm here. She'll always commit to the bit even with tears in her eyes❤🤗
as a trans person, i love it when you have cis people on here talking about gender & pronouns & stuff like that. like, yes, pronouns and language is important, but for most trans folx, as long as the energy is respectful and you’re just trying to be a thoughtful person without going way too far and making it weird, that’s all we want. i literally have so many trans people in my life that there’s no way i can memorize & keep up with everyone’s name & pronoun changes.
Long time watcher, first time commenter... it's scary how frequent what you described during this whole debacle is, as an experience among minorities. Not LGBTQ+ myself, but I am a BIPOC filmmaker and once experienced a similar "slandering via fake/doctored/edited quotes/audio" type situation that happened as a result of standing up to casual racism in my work space. As a preemptive measure to save face, two producers (will go unnamed, they've got too much influence) spread rumors that I was "difficult/mean to work with" so no one would take my claims seriously in our local pool of collaborators. Genuinely, I honestly might have to relocate and start my career over from scratch because the stigma of those rumors (which were made up to slander me in the first place). It's scary how more often than not this pitch-fork mobbing without facts will happen to minorities, and when proven innocent of whatever controversy they don't get subsequently exonerated in the public eye.
"No dicks are going un-holed." I think Ashley's cancellation is a great example of us holding the queer community to a higher standard than those outside it. You deserve the world Ashley, I'll follow you anywhere. ❤
I refused to watch the videos about this whole thing ever since it happened. Just the headlines were enough to make me think it was not the whole story. Since the incident, you've frequently reiterated that your yelling and riffs are jokes. That's always seemed obvious to me. It's a shame that others don't seem to get it. I'm happy to still be a part of Bottom Nation.
This dynamic is amazing between all of you. Sam and Lucas are both so funny, yet so different. And having Ashley as a bridge between them is kind of the perfect chemistry of contrast. Love this little trio.
I never felt the need to listen to the audio. I think Ashley has shown on both podcasts that she is very thoughtful, empathetic, aware of how others can interpret a message and capable of self reflection. Ashley, I hope you got closure and can move forward. Also, this was a very funny episode!
Something was fishy with all of that from the get go. Thank you for talking about it and being vulnerable. Saw you Philly this weekend and you were amazing!
Glad you are sharing this here! I think you were just fine in the intro. I can’t believe how emotionally crazy this whole experience has been for you and your examination honesty and desire to protect the joy of this podcast makes me a bigger fan of you and your COMEDY! Love and blessings for continued healing for you and Jen!
The fact that this is the 4th time i've heard you apologize for this night, and every single time you mean it, and every iteration is so heartfelt... you're the best and this episode was hilarious. Thank you for making me laugh!
here for u!! been supporting your comedy for a while i honestly think i'm more a fan of your stand up than your online content!! proud of all you've accomplished keep it up bookie
Thank you for trusting us and sharing your side of the story. Those last couple of months must have been heartbreaking for you. Everything is going to be alright.
Ashley loves this community. In case anyone missed it last week on the Chosen Family podcast, Ashley talks about her favourite memory from the discord - that there was a trans man who was shaving for the first time and a cis man said "I can teach you how to shave". That's an example of the types of connections that Ashley is grieving, that people might not get to have. I'm stickin' around.
We of the Straight Old Southern Men Association Fully support YOU!!! Eloquent and heartfelt! I'm sorry for your pain and that that person and people spewing hate at you didn't know your heart. I knew there was more to your story and that your intentions were good, I was just waiting to hear about it when it was right for you. Others just pile in on any hate they can spew. Your "community" never included them and those others that left will be back. So nice to get to see your best friend for the first time!
Hi Ashley! You said during green chef that everyone is gay watching. I'm not (although I haven't been interested in dating anyone in 10 years). I just love you and you make me laugh which is really hard to do. Just keep being you. I'm sorry you went through such a tragic time.
This whole situation was so blown out of proportion. Olivia brought the attention to herself and brought up something serious that bothers her in a place that is meant to be fun.
Ashley, you are not just a fantastically funny comedian, you are a smart comedian (both on the stage and in the business side). I so admire how and why you have built this platform, shared yourself and your work, and so generously celebrate and support other comics and artists. For everyone who heard it and was hurt by it, I hate the way the audio was altered and leveraged for clicks. With your usual level of expertise, you have addressed it all beautifully here. I really wish non-performers could understand what it’s like to work with a live audience and have someone behave disruptively by inserting themselves into the performance. Sometimes it’s intentional, at other times it’s rooted in not understanding the dynamic, and sometimes ppl genuinely have difficultly with impulse control. It can be difficult and messy and sometimes mistakes happen - either on stage or in the follow-up. We all need to learn to embrace the mess and do the difficult slow work of finding a way through it. Thank you for giving us an example of that. ❤❤❤
You're amazing, Ashley. As a comedian and as a person. And a lot of people are still here (whether be for one, the other or both!) because we know your work and we feel like we can trust you and the community that has formed around both podcasts. Thank you for keeping it up and thank you for facing this hard topic. Promise you we aren't going anywhere!
The whole "you're trying to have a real world conversation during a play, and one person is playing a character" metaphor is truly spot on. Comedy - GOOD comedy - is meant to be an experience, and should always be taken with a big grain of salt. If you can't discern that, the comedy show may not necessarily be for you.
That was different approach to cancel coaching - instead of keeping Ash from saying something Lucas just focuses the cancellation energy on himself, so it does not hit Ashley 😂
I had just seen your chicago show when this all happened and I was super confused and sus about that girls post because of the care and prefacing you give at the beginning. It came off like she was clout chasing because you were blowing up on tiktok and shorts. I’m so sorry you went through all that!
I don't think she was clout chasing, even though it certainly looks like it from certain angles, but all the "creators" on YT and Tiktok who jumped on the train, giving their shitty completely unresearched opinions on it most certainly were. There's a video on here made by some mid tier "creator" that gets basically everything wrong about the situation and Ashley yet it has over a million views and that's the piece of content that a lot of people in the cancel mob based their opinions on.
@@JanneBernardsthats crazy! To prevent accounts like that from profiting off of situations like this I think that if she was upset she should have kept it offline and addressed it with either Ashley or the theater staff. Its wild how quickly some accounts will jump on any drama without care
Thank you Ashley for this episode. It was really touching and really funny and really special. Also hard to watch at times because we can see how much you care because you have built such a beautiful and fragile thing with this community. I hope you are really able to move forward now and leave this all behind and feel safe and secure in the space you built. I am going to watch this episode again now and have a healthy little cry, I think.
Thank you for being open and sharing what happened. I cried laughing during this episode, especially when Lucas and Ashley were speaking together 😂 Absolutely enjoyed listening to all of them joke together.
This dynamic with you 3 is so fullfilling in a way i can't explain. I feel like I've missed out. Lately I've been hyper focused on the upcoming elections and promoting another show because im terrified about whats going to possibly happen. I gotta stop worrying about it so much. I wouldn't be so anxious if i took a break from that noise.
I am so sorry that you went through all this crap. I had seen some videos in my YT feed and even started to watch one to see what that crap was about. I stopped not even half way through and knew is was BS. Love ya Top.
This episode was sooo funny! The note at the end made me cry, you thinking about other queer people during such a difficult time is just a proof of how kind and great of a person you are. Im sorry if its too gay but im always going to support you :)
This whole incident sounds so messy and I know I don't know you, parasocial shit aside, but I really did not feel like you would do anything like what the accusations were saying about you. I'm glad to hear your perspective on it and know that you're moving forward from this. I really think you are a comedy genius and want you to succeed Can't wait to see your show in MN in December! It'll be my first time attending a show of yours!
Your podcast has helped me solidify and explore my own queerness. I can't thank you enough for that. I was confused and disappointed when the whole incident came out. But I knew that, it couldn't be the end of the story to it. I think waiting made total sense and I think it's wrong for people to immediately try to solve incidents like this too. Things like this take time, reflection, and with all the added context of threats, you gotta do whats best to keep the people around you and your fans safe. Thank you for persisting and not quitting, or leaving this community behind. There's so much love, connection, and self-awareness that exists because of your comedy and podcasts. Thank you, you're loved and appreciated. In a world where we have access to give and receive opinions and thoughts instantly about everything, it's a strange time to be famous to semi-famous, or just a regular joe. It shouldn't be the case, but it is. Know that haters gonna hate but don't let it shake you. I look forward to seeing your set on 11/19. Love you
I think usually if you are unsure about your attraction to any gender, you should try being intimate with them (assuming you disclose that you might just be straight). Like go on a date with someone you might be interested in (or are unsure) and then go for a kiss or something. The issue with kissing random dudes (or even friends) is that you aren’t really in the right headspace to be that kind of intimate with them. That’s why usually someone you don’t know too well or met on a dating app or something is better to experiment with.
Sad that people will tell others to hurt themselves. I'm so sorry this happened to you Ashley. I know what it's like. I've been told that by online bullies ever since I was a kid.
I definitely agree with Ashley that it's very local that a man saying he's had sexual feelings for guys but he doesn't want to fully identify as bi or anything is seen as refreshing for not using his sexual fluidity for clout. I would argue that most places would put a man like that into the category of "Oh, so he's gay and in denial!" and just wait for him to come to that realisation and blow his life up, which is also why in those places men typically don't ever admit to this. It might be changing with the generations, but I don't think it's changing as much as we like to think.
Great episode. It takes a lot of guts for a comedian to navigate the minefield of comedy especially on social media, and Ashley you do a great job. Keep it up Ashley!❤
35:22 The discussion of the social contract with a comedian here says it all. If this were a jury trial, this is the point I would pull out as the defense attorney and underline it to the jury.
I know this a weird silver lining, but this whole situation significantly changed my opinion on people getting "canceled". I always assumed that if people got canceled, they had done something genuinely wrong. Now, having watched and listened to Ashley for a very long time, I knew out of the gate that something was off. I hate that this happened, but it honestly is going to make me think twice in the future when I hear that someone got canceled. I'm not jumping on any bandwagons.
I really appreciate Lucas being this vulnerable. I agree with Sam, maybe going on a date with a guy he's sort of into and just going there and blushing at a compliment with zero expectations, not even kissing, would be a fun way to explore. I am however also in the "it's so small I don't need to explore it"-camp about dating, so I'm not one to talk. Although the thoughts are definitely there. But waiting until I'm fifty and have a midlife crisis also sounds good.
Glad that Lucas brought up the context of being at a comedy show and the implied “social contract” with those kinds of interactions. I think this detail has been glossed over too much in this whole discussion. Ashley took her comments way too far, but she acknowledged it and tried to make it right. This other person should not have engaged in heckling if she wasn’t prepared for the outcome. Might sound harsh, but if you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Ashley, if you read this, there are lots of people who will continue to support you by listening to your podcasts and attending your shows, myself included!
this episode is iconic and hilarious and godspeed to lucas about whether or not he decides to water his gay little houseplant (what an excellently gay metaphor for it, as well). i love these two and all three of you together and i love this entire episode. i've left other comments abt the whole situation, esp on the CFP episode from last week, so i just have one thing to kind of add-- the bit that both lucas and sam talk about re: holding community members accountable vs. celebrating non-community members for the bare minimum IS a real phenomenon, and i think the things both of them say have merit. my only additional thoughts are-- i kind of agree with lucas that everyone should generally garner the same response on these topics. i think that people should receive the benefit of the doubt unless there is good reason to NOT give it to them. and like sam said, and as you've said before, ashley, there also has to be a contingent of people willing to educate those who simply Do Not Know. sam also said a phrase that kind of crystallizes my problem with the phenomenon, which is this idea that people in our community "should know better." i push back on that because as you've said, ashley, we're not a monolith with a coherent culture that gets disseminated reliably/consistently, clearly, and easily. if there is precedent for someone to have known better, sure, part of it can be disappointment or a sense of betrayal. if, when a mistake is pointed out, someone pushes back and refuses to budge, yeah, that sucks and they should know better than to dig in their heels, right? but this idea that ALL queer people have the same politics and life experiences and community members to pull from? that we are all the same and have the same standards of behavior? it just doesn't make coherent sense. there ARE situations where people should know better, and i think that's fine to mention and enforce. (but then we get into the whole thing abt punishment vs. accountability again) but in general, i think it's unrealistic and unfair to say that just because someone's gay, queer, and/or trans, they should automatically know better. differences in class, race, geography, ethnicity, age, family, community, etc. ALL account for COMPLETELY DIFFERENT experiences of queerness and transness everywhere. meaning that everyone has different social norms and expectations, different codes and in-jokes, different bases and resources of knowledge. you joke all the time about the differences btwn east coast, west coast, city, midwest, and southern gays--and it's true. a great example of this is something i see circulate online occasionally, where someone points out that using a slur or older/"discontinued" language isn't inherently a bad thing, and using all the "right" words isn't inherently a good thing. someone using the only language they have to discuss lgbtq stuff but they do it in a supportive way? they don't have all the ~nuances~ down that we constantly argue about anyway? that's infinitely better than someone who knows all the right words and uses that as a smokescreen to say some completely backwards, bigoted bullshit. in other words: "i don't care if that chick has a dick, she ain't bothering me" vs "we have to be sensitive to people's triggers around genitals and seriously consider community safety and consent when it comes to who is allowed in different designated spaces" anyway--point being: holding your own "community" to a standard of "moral purity/perfectness" is completely impossible and self-defeating, also kind of fascist and gatekeepy, and only drags your own ilk further down. we need to be modeling mature and thoughtful discussions that feature critical thinking skills. we have to be committed to working collaboratively with people we don't always agree with or like on a personal level. we have to be able to function and sit with the idea that we may not like someone or some piece of art/media in terms of taste. like people always want to politically justify why they don't like someone or something--it's okay to just not like them/it. (i hate billy zane and i have no legitimate reason to hate him, i just do. such is life!!!) and so on and so forth. basically it'd be nice if we could collectively have a theory of mind instead of assuming that, because we're gay and they're gay, we all know/understand all the same things in the same way. if we're all part of the same community, shouldn't we be KINDER and MORE COLLABORATIVE/PRODUCTIVE with each other? shouldn't we want to foster supportive relationships with each other to MAINTAIN community? the word community isn't just a buzzword, y'all, we have to actually live it.
we love u ashley , you're so precious and i love this podcast as well as the chosen family podcast it really helped me.. thank u for your vulnerability and for everything
This episode had me laughing soooooo hard!! Please bring Sam and Lucas back! Also, we love you Ashley! Keep giving us ur comedy cuz the people who enjoy it are here 💕💕💕💕💕
Didn’t know about any of this until you alluded to it in the stand up I went to last month in Denver. Absolutely fabulous show btw, some really cathartic dark humor at its best. Your opener from Ned CO was lovely as well and I’m sad I missed his name! Really shit that situation blew up into sucha mess. Hope the instigators involved/self inserted apologize to you. Also hope that you’re able to heal and continue to work through this so you don’t develop another disability 🫨
I think people need to take anything that is posted on the internet with a grain of salt. I can honestly say I know you intervened and some other people also probably tried to diffuse the situation. It just got blown out of proportion. I mean we know reality shows aren’t real, they are edited in a way to polarize the viewers. This isn’t any different, and it’s super disrespectful of people to do. You did realize you stepped over the line and tried to fix it, so I’m sorry it happened to you.
New fan and I never saw this until now. Promise people still love and support you!! You meant it not the way it was exploited as and sorry people are how they are!
One time, Ashley Gavin came up to me at Wendys, took a fry off my tray, ate it, looked me in the eyes, then leaned in and whispered _"Nobody's going to believe you."_ PS this is a lie
I would have never gotten the news of the cancelation if Ashley wouldn't have discussed it. Not a very high quality cancelation 😂 I am sorry that it happened...
so glad to hear this finally proven right. i love you and am so sorry all this happened. i met you twice at two of your shows and knew there was no fucking way you would gladly and proudly say something in this way
I'm back and resubscribed after watching the episode on the chosen family podcast. I left a very lengthy comment there that I don't feel like retyping in its entirety. To put it simply, I felt very triggered, uncomfortable and confused when everything happened so I unsubscribed. Now, after watching the Chosen Family podcast, receiving full context, and seeing how Ashely has grown from the situation, Ive subscribed once again. Im so happy the chosen family podast showed up in my feed. I hope I dont come across as a "bad fan" or a "not true fan" for not sticking with Ashley when everything happened. I wanted to but I didnt feel like I could considering the feelings I had after the audio clip.
In this “cancel culture” age, so many people try to cancel minority by editing and creating fake things for people to believe. It’s far too easy to edit audio to turn it on people and it’s so gross that anyone would do that :/ I feel awful for Ashley. I personally did not unsubscribe and kept watching because the whole audio issue really did seem super fake, but I grew up on the internet so I’ve become incredibly used to people trying to end others’ careers with fake and edited receipts. Just sucks to see this happen to such a genuine person. You’re not a bad fan, especially if you haven’t been watching enough of her content. Sometimes it’s super hard to read the air, and this whole situation- literally so many people online were trying to cancel her with that audio clip so it made it seem true. At least you’ve seen the truth ❤️ I just hope people end up understanding sometimes we need to give people time before they can talk to us and let us know what was happening. Even more so when their safety is being threatened, and doxing happens!
As a femboy grown into a 30 year old man that always gets carded, I want to say Lucas and his description of kissing a man is obviously him thinking of a masculine, macho, strong man with apparent lack of hygiene. We didn't get a description of the man that he's attracted to so perhaps a fem man wouldn't do it because of his expectations. I want more info. 😅
Your cancellation is actually how I found you. I saw her video and decided to check out your videos to get a feel for the situation, saw your comedy style, and immediately thought the whole thing was soooo ridiculous as an objective observer. What I can't understand is that she knew this was your style of comedy, bought tickets as an enthusiast of this style of comedy, and got super assmad that this style of comedy was performed.
As a turbo online gay lefty myself it is super disheartening to see how many people in my demographic will try to end someone's career over the drop of a hat. Just know that there are many more like me out there. Keep doing your thing !
The second part of your first paragraph is just _SO_ on point!
And she chose to “heckle” and bring that attention on herself. 🤷♀️
+1 although I was here before the cancellation - I'm very happy to see Ashley make it through and see the community around here has just become stronger. I was so worried she'd fold and capitulate to the hate mob, but I should've known better. I'm very happy she had her podfam and comedy fam behind her. 💟
Same and I’m literally starting to listen to all her previous podcasts everyday, she’s amazing
It sounds to me like whoever edited that audio clip owes a much bigger apology to those whom it triggered than Ashley does.
Yeah you are right about the damage it did triggering people, I had been listening to ashleys podcasts regularly for maybe over a year, and when the shit started to go down I clicked on a youtube reactors videos thinking "I know her comedy style, it can't be that bad, whats all this about" and was treated to the audio which sounded to my trauma brain like a legit rage tantrum and set off my entire (already worn out) nervous system, and it sounded like there couldn't possibly be a context in which it was excusable.. and made ashley feel like not a safe place anymore during an exceptionally shit time in my life, and having no other info to go on from her end I had to take a break from her and now I'm doing a bit better I am back to hear her out
@@stephe1506Honestly people need to stop taking out of context audio clips as reality. Especially since it was also heavily edited and disgusting. It really feels like someone tried to cancel her on purpose as revenge and that’s not okay. + the person who edited and posted it should be the one apologising, for not only causing harm to Ash, but her community, AND endangering everyone.
Thissss.
@stephe1506 the whole thing made me lose respect for nickisnotgreen because it was so clear to me that he had done zero research on Ashley, wasn't even aware of the chosen family podcast, knew nothing about her struggles with EDS or her history with mental health. But I'm glad Ashley was able to come out of this feeling a little stronger.
@@osllq9355 omg yes I agree.👍🏿Honestly, I lost all respect in the beginning of his first video when he showed a bunch of clips of her talking about gay stuff and he literally did a "Is that all you do?" type riff. That was pretty gross.
The irony - he was trying to take her down a peg regarding comedy and he just used a lazy, homophobic joke we've all heard over and over and over again.
Also Ashley is _funny_ - period. I had recently watched her special, so seeing a dude _unironically_ respond to her with "Is that all you do?" was such a bummer and _wasn't_ _funny_
Anyways, it's nice to see I wasn't the only person who was disappointed by those videos.
im obsessed with this dynamic can this just be the new podcast
every pod need the lesbian, the gay man and the 95% straight man
... and Maddie. Maddie for ever
@@circleofleaves2676 yes and the nonbinary. i love it bc ur getting every perspective but also is hilarious bc they keep getting confused bc they dont understand the others pov
Ashley, I just wanna say that you are one of the most genuine people on the internet. When I first heard everything, I knew something about it wasnt right. Im so sorry those things happened to you, they shouldn't happen to anyone. Im so glad your not giving up, and im proud of you for the way you handled the situation. There is no right way to do anything when people are all in their feelings. Im so grateful for your content, it really helps me get through the day. I definitely learn alot and can relate to alot of it. Thank you for being you, and sharing it with all of us.
This is such a lovely comment to see. Thank you, thank you for your support.
49:19 Ashley saying "keep going, finish the script" while talking about that horrible time she was misunderstood to a point where her and her loved one's safety got jeopardized is why I'm here. She'll always commit to the bit even with tears in her eyes❤🤗
The point about the audio being taken out of context is spot on.
^This!
as a trans person, i love it when you have cis people on here talking about gender & pronouns & stuff like that. like, yes, pronouns and language is important, but for most trans folx, as long as the energy is respectful and you’re just trying to be a thoughtful person without going way too far and making it weird, that’s all we want. i literally have so many trans people in my life that there’s no way i can memorize & keep up with everyone’s name & pronoun changes.
I save all my contacts with name and pronouns, that way I can always look them up if I forget :)
You know how good friends Sam and Ashley are with "Never seen you so angry except...no never mind" I fucking died
Long time watcher, first time commenter... it's scary how frequent what you described during this whole debacle is, as an experience among minorities. Not LGBTQ+ myself, but I am a BIPOC filmmaker and once experienced a similar "slandering via fake/doctored/edited quotes/audio" type situation that happened as a result of standing up to casual racism in my work space. As a preemptive measure to save face, two producers (will go unnamed, they've got too much influence) spread rumors that I was "difficult/mean to work with" so no one would take my claims seriously in our local pool of collaborators.
Genuinely, I honestly might have to relocate and start my career over from scratch because the stigma of those rumors (which were made up to slander me in the first place). It's scary how more often than not this pitch-fork mobbing without facts will happen to minorities, and when proven innocent of whatever controversy they don't get subsequently exonerated in the public eye.
💯
You have my sympathy. I wish you and yours well
This episode had EXTREME range … wow what a joy! Sam and Lucas are both hilarious, always fun to see them on the pod. 💛💛💛
I hated seeing what they did to Ashley. It’s so scary how easy it is these days to take someone out of context and people believe it.
The fact that people started harassing Ashley and her family is so disgusting.
"No dicks are going un-holed."
I think Ashley's cancellation is a great example of us holding the queer community to a higher standard than those outside it. You deserve the world Ashley, I'll follow you anywhere. ❤
I refused to watch the videos about this whole thing ever since it happened. Just the headlines were enough to make me think it was not the whole story.
Since the incident, you've frequently reiterated that your yelling and riffs are jokes. That's always seemed obvious to me. It's a shame that others don't seem to get it.
I'm happy to still be a part of Bottom Nation.
This dynamic is amazing between all of you. Sam and Lucas are both so funny, yet so different. And having Ashley as a bridge between them is kind of the perfect chemistry of contrast. Love this little trio.
I never felt the need to listen to the audio. I think Ashley has shown on both podcasts that she is very thoughtful, empathetic, aware of how others can interpret a message and capable of self reflection. Ashley, I hope you got closure and can move forward.
Also, this was a very funny episode!
Something was fishy with all of that from the get go. Thank you for talking about it and being vulnerable. Saw you Philly this weekend and you were amazing!
Glad you are sharing this here! I think you were just fine in the intro. I can’t believe how emotionally crazy this whole experience has been for you and your examination honesty and desire to protect the joy of this podcast makes me a bigger fan of you and your COMEDY! Love and blessings for continued healing for you and Jen!
The fact that this is the 4th time i've heard you apologize for this night, and every single time you mean it, and every iteration is so heartfelt... you're the best and this episode was hilarious. Thank you for making me laugh!
And that ending.... omg you are so special.
here for u!! been supporting your comedy for a while i honestly think i'm more a fan of your stand up than your online content!! proud of all you've accomplished keep it up bookie
Never had any doubts. I thought you getting “cancelled” was absolute bullshit from the beginning and I’m so glad to see you on here again!
Thank you for trusting us and sharing your side of the story. Those last couple of months must have been heartbreaking for you. Everything is going to be alright.
Ashley loves this community. In case anyone missed it last week on the Chosen Family podcast, Ashley talks about her favourite memory from the discord - that there was a trans man who was shaving for the first time and a cis man said "I can teach you how to shave". That's an example of the types of connections that Ashley is grieving, that people might not get to have. I'm stickin' around.
This is my favorite bro-cast.
We of the Straight Old Southern Men Association Fully support YOU!!! Eloquent and heartfelt! I'm sorry for your pain and that that person and people spewing hate at you didn't know your heart. I knew there was more to your story and that your intentions were good, I was just waiting to hear about it when it was right for you. Others just pile in on any hate they can spew. Your "community" never included them and those others that left will be back. So nice to get to see your best friend for the first time!
Hi Ashley! You said during green chef that everyone is gay watching. I'm not (although I haven't been interested in dating anyone in 10 years). I just love you and you make me laugh which is really hard to do. Just keep being you. I'm sorry you went through such a tragic time.
This whole situation was so blown out of proportion. Olivia brought the attention to herself and brought up something serious that bothers her in a place that is meant to be fun.
There is always more to the story!! I’m so sorry your safety was put in danger due to this :(
Ashley, you are not just a fantastically funny comedian, you are a smart comedian (both on the stage and in the business side). I so admire how and why you have built this platform, shared yourself and your work, and so generously celebrate and support other comics and artists. For everyone who heard it and was hurt by it, I hate the way the audio was altered and leveraged for clicks. With your usual level of expertise, you have addressed it all beautifully here. I really wish non-performers could understand what it’s like to work with a live audience and have someone behave disruptively by inserting themselves into the performance. Sometimes it’s intentional, at other times it’s rooted in not understanding the dynamic, and sometimes ppl genuinely have difficultly with impulse control. It can be difficult and messy and sometimes mistakes happen - either on stage or in the follow-up. We all need to learn to embrace the mess and do the difficult slow work of finding a way through it. Thank you for giving us an example of that. ❤❤❤
You're amazing, Ashley. As a comedian and as a person. And a lot of people are still here (whether be for one, the other or both!) because we know your work and we feel like we can trust you and the community that has formed around both podcasts. Thank you for keeping it up and thank you for facing this hard topic. Promise you we aren't going anywhere!
thank you Ashley. we are here for you, always will be. love ya
The whole "you're trying to have a real world conversation during a play, and one person is playing a character" metaphor is truly spot on. Comedy - GOOD comedy - is meant to be an experience, and should always be taken with a big grain of salt. If you can't discern that, the comedy show may not necessarily be for you.
That was different approach to cancel coaching - instead of keeping Ash from saying something Lucas just focuses the cancellation energy on himself, so it does not hit Ashley 😂
I had just seen your chicago show when this all happened and I was super confused and sus about that girls post because of the care and prefacing you give at the beginning. It came off like she was clout chasing because you were blowing up on tiktok and shorts. I’m so sorry you went through all that!
I don't think she was clout chasing, even though it certainly looks like it from certain angles, but all the "creators" on YT and Tiktok who jumped on the train, giving their shitty completely unresearched opinions on it most certainly were. There's a video on here made by some mid tier "creator" that gets basically everything wrong about the situation and Ashley yet it has over a million views and that's the piece of content that a lot of people in the cancel mob based their opinions on.
@@JanneBernardsthats crazy! To prevent accounts like that from profiting off of situations like this I think that if she was upset she should have kept it offline and addressed it with either Ashley or the theater staff. Its wild how quickly some accounts will jump on any drama without care
@@JanneBernards u talking about greenisnotnick? ya he should definitely make a follow up video now that ashley has told her side
@@Florilegium1 so i've heard :/
Thank you Ashley for this episode. It was really touching and really funny and really special. Also hard to watch at times because we can see how much you care because you have built such a beautiful and fragile thing with this community. I hope you are really able to move forward now and leave this all behind and feel safe and secure in the space you built. I am going to watch this episode again now and have a healthy little cry, I think.
This has so much potential for a comfort episode.
The bit was so good the shelf took another victim!
Thank you for being open and sharing what happened. I cried laughing during this episode, especially when Lucas and Ashley were speaking together 😂 Absolutely enjoyed listening to all of them joke together.
This dynamic with you 3 is so fullfilling in a way i can't explain. I feel like I've missed out. Lately I've been hyper focused on the upcoming elections and promoting another show because im terrified about whats going to possibly happen. I gotta stop worrying about it so much. I wouldn't be so anxious if i took a break from that noise.
I’m listening to it on Spotify rn but I miss the TH-cam comment section, love you Ashley I always look forward to my Monday commute to listen!
I love how you are still going.
I am so sorry that you went through all this crap. I had seen some videos in my YT feed and even started to watch one to see what that crap was about. I stopped not even half way through and knew is was BS. Love ya Top.
omg I want the priests stories!! lol can't wait for the next episode with Sam :)
Dad and dad's buds chattin
DIGITAL CURRENCY 😂😂😂
This one had so many good bits 😂
The d word pass bit might be the funniest bit ever LMAO such a good episode thank you
so excited to see you on tour in minnesota! you never fail to crack me up
lowkey so curious if there are any updates to lucas’ newfound journey lol
This episode was sooo funny! The note at the end made me cry, you thinking about other queer people during such a difficult time is just a proof of how kind and great of a person you are. Im sorry if its too gay but im always going to support you :)
Omg, the amount of time it took for them to catch on to Ashley’s “digital currency”!!!😂😂
this trio is fire!
1:03:55 "you know about this" ashleys timing😂😂😂
This whole incident sounds so messy and I know I don't know you, parasocial shit aside, but I really did not feel like you would do anything like what the accusations were saying about you. I'm glad to hear your perspective on it and know that you're moving forward from this. I really think you are a comedy genius and want you to succeed
Can't wait to see your show in MN in December! It'll be my first time attending a show of yours!
Your podcast has helped me solidify and explore my own queerness. I can't thank you enough for that. I was confused and disappointed when the whole incident came out. But I knew that, it couldn't be the end of the story to it. I think waiting made total sense and I think it's wrong for people to immediately try to solve incidents like this too. Things like this take time, reflection, and with all the added context of threats, you gotta do whats best to keep the people around you and your fans safe. Thank you for persisting and not quitting, or leaving this community behind. There's so much love, connection, and self-awareness that exists because of your comedy and podcasts. Thank you, you're loved and appreciated. In a world where we have access to give and receive opinions and thoughts instantly about everything, it's a strange time to be famous to semi-famous, or just a regular joe. It shouldn't be the case, but it is. Know that haters gonna hate but don't let it shake you. I look forward to seeing your set on 11/19. Love you
I think usually if you are unsure about your attraction to any gender, you should try being intimate with them (assuming you disclose that you might just be straight). Like go on a date with someone you might be interested in (or are unsure) and then go for a kiss or something. The issue with kissing random dudes (or even friends) is that you aren’t really in the right headspace to be that kind of intimate with them. That’s why usually someone you don’t know too well or met on a dating app or something is better to experiment with.
Sad that people will tell others to hurt themselves. I'm so sorry this happened to you Ashley. I know what it's like. I've been told that by online bullies ever since I was a kid.
Sam is fucking hilarious. "I can't kiss him, he's a MONTAGUE." Best thing I've heard in weeks, lol.
💖 still here, never left, never doubted 💖
The fact that I didn’t know this happened until like a week ago means it’s no big thing and we can all move on like stuff happens
Same! I found out she was cancelled from this video!
Ashley now that you are cancelled, your pronouns should be is/was. xD "Was famous, WAS famous"
Hahahaha!
@@ashgavs see you in Columbus soon :)
Top comment omg 😭🤣💀
Ashley you're awesome. Don't let hate get to you. You're beautiful inside and out🌈🫶🏻
Great ep, chosen family last week was also great. I really hope this gives you closure.
I definitely agree with Ashley that it's very local that a man saying he's had sexual feelings for guys but he doesn't want to fully identify as bi or anything is seen as refreshing for not using his sexual fluidity for clout. I would argue that most places would put a man like that into the category of "Oh, so he's gay and in denial!" and just wait for him to come to that realisation and blow his life up, which is also why in those places men typically don't ever admit to this. It might be changing with the generations, but I don't think it's changing as much as we like to think.
Great episode. It takes a lot of guts for a comedian to navigate the minefield of comedy especially on social media, and Ashley you do a great job. Keep it up Ashley!❤
Cant believe you got death threats and doxxed for that crap. Im so sorry yall had to go through that. 🧡
35:22 The discussion of the social contract with a comedian here says it all. If this were a jury trial, this is the point I would pull out as the defense attorney and underline it to the jury.
I'm 22 minutes in: I've almost spat out my water and I'm crying laughing🤣
ASH! It's soooo good over here. You are not cancelled. We love you!!
Really enjoyed this episode, It was like 2 bros and Sam 😂😂 Lucas and Sam are always great. ❤
Great episode!!
I know this a weird silver lining, but this whole situation significantly changed my opinion on people getting "canceled". I always assumed that if people got canceled, they had done something genuinely wrong. Now, having watched and listened to Ashley for a very long time, I knew out of the gate that something was off.
I hate that this happened, but it honestly is going to make me think twice in the future when I hear that someone got canceled. I'm not jumping on any bandwagons.
❤ got your back Ashley
we love you Ashley ❤ thank you for taking responsibility and sharing the full story !!! so glad to be a part of this community 😊
Inviting my ex to your boston show wish me luck
I really appreciate Lucas being this vulnerable. I agree with Sam, maybe going on a date with a guy he's sort of into and just going there and blushing at a compliment with zero expectations, not even kissing, would be a fun way to explore. I am however also in the "it's so small I don't need to explore it"-camp about dating, so I'm not one to talk. Although the thoughts are definitely there. But waiting until I'm fifty and have a midlife crisis also sounds good.
Glad that Lucas brought up the context of being at a comedy show and the implied “social contract” with those kinds of interactions. I think this detail has been glossed over too much in this whole discussion. Ashley took her comments way too far, but she acknowledged it and tried to make it right. This other person should not have engaged in heckling if she wasn’t prepared for the outcome. Might sound harsh, but if you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
Ashley, if you read this, there are lots of people who will continue to support you by listening to your podcasts and attending your shows, myself included!
this episode is iconic and hilarious and godspeed to lucas about whether or not he decides to water his gay little houseplant (what an excellently gay metaphor for it, as well). i love these two and all three of you together and i love this entire episode.
i've left other comments abt the whole situation, esp on the CFP episode from last week, so i just have one thing to kind of add--
the bit that both lucas and sam talk about re: holding community members accountable vs. celebrating non-community members for the bare minimum IS a real phenomenon, and i think the things both of them say have merit.
my only additional thoughts are--
i kind of agree with lucas that everyone should generally garner the same response on these topics. i think that people should receive the benefit of the doubt unless there is good reason to NOT give it to them. and like sam said, and as you've said before, ashley, there also has to be a contingent of people willing to educate those who simply Do Not Know.
sam also said a phrase that kind of crystallizes my problem with the phenomenon, which is this idea that people in our community "should know better."
i push back on that because as you've said, ashley, we're not a monolith with a coherent culture that gets disseminated reliably/consistently, clearly, and easily.
if there is precedent for someone to have known better, sure, part of it can be disappointment or a sense of betrayal. if, when a mistake is pointed out, someone pushes back and refuses to budge, yeah, that sucks and they should know better than to dig in their heels, right?
but this idea that ALL queer people have the same politics and life experiences and community members to pull from? that we are all the same and have the same standards of behavior? it just doesn't make coherent sense.
there ARE situations where people should know better, and i think that's fine to mention and enforce. (but then we get into the whole thing abt punishment vs. accountability again)
but in general, i think it's unrealistic and unfair to say that just because someone's gay, queer, and/or trans, they should automatically know better. differences in class, race, geography, ethnicity, age, family, community, etc. ALL account for COMPLETELY DIFFERENT experiences of queerness and transness everywhere. meaning that everyone has different social norms and expectations, different codes and in-jokes, different bases and resources of knowledge.
you joke all the time about the differences btwn east coast, west coast, city, midwest, and southern gays--and it's true.
a great example of this is something i see circulate online occasionally, where someone points out that using a slur or older/"discontinued" language isn't inherently a bad thing, and using all the "right" words isn't inherently a good thing. someone using the only language they have to discuss lgbtq stuff but they do it in a supportive way? they don't have all the ~nuances~ down that we constantly argue about anyway?
that's infinitely better than someone who knows all the right words and uses that as a smokescreen to say some completely backwards, bigoted bullshit.
in other words:
"i don't care if that chick has a dick, she ain't bothering me"
vs
"we have to be sensitive to people's triggers around genitals and seriously consider community safety and consent when it comes to who is allowed in different designated spaces"
anyway--point being:
holding your own "community" to a standard of "moral purity/perfectness" is completely impossible and self-defeating, also kind of fascist and gatekeepy, and only drags your own ilk further down. we need to be modeling mature and thoughtful discussions that feature critical thinking skills. we have to be committed to working collaboratively with people we don't always agree with or like on a personal level. we have to be able to function and sit with the idea that we may not like someone or some piece of art/media in terms of taste. like people always want to politically justify why they don't like someone or something--it's okay to just not like them/it. (i hate billy zane and i have no legitimate reason to hate him, i just do. such is life!!!)
and so on and so forth.
basically it'd be nice if we could collectively have a theory of mind instead of assuming that, because we're gay and they're gay, we all know/understand all the same things in the same way.
if we're all part of the same community, shouldn't we be KINDER and MORE COLLABORATIVE/PRODUCTIVE with each other? shouldn't we want to foster supportive relationships with each other to MAINTAIN community? the word community isn't just a buzzword, y'all, we have to actually live it.
we love u ashley , you're so precious
and i love this podcast as well as the chosen family podcast it really helped me..
thank u for your vulnerability and for everything
This episode had me laughing soooooo hard!! Please bring Sam and Lucas back! Also, we love you Ashley! Keep giving us ur comedy cuz the people who enjoy it are here 💕💕💕💕💕
As a hard of hearing person I appreciate Lucas
Didn’t know about any of this until you alluded to it in the stand up I went to last month in Denver. Absolutely fabulous show btw, some really cathartic dark humor at its best. Your opener from Ned CO was lovely as well and I’m sad I missed his name!
Really shit that situation blew up into sucha mess. Hope the instigators involved/self inserted apologize to you. Also hope that you’re able to heal and continue to work through this so you don’t develop another disability 🫨
Chris Higgins!
I’m not looking for an apology, but I am going to try and make the world a less insane place in the wake of this
I LOST it at "be grateful you straight piece of shit!" 😂😂😂 perfect tone as well 👏
bro this is the funniest ep ever
I think people need to take anything that is posted on the internet with a grain of salt. I can honestly say I know you intervened and some other people also probably tried to diffuse the situation. It just got blown out of proportion. I mean we know reality shows aren’t real, they are edited in a way to polarize the viewers. This isn’t any different, and it’s super disrespectful of people to do. You did realize you stepped over the line and tried to fix it, so I’m sorry it happened to you.
New fan and I never saw this until now. Promise people still love and support you!! You meant it not the way it was exploited as and sorry people are how they are!
One time, Ashley Gavin came up to me at Wendys, took a fry off my tray, ate it, looked me in the eyes, then leaned in and whispered _"Nobody's going to believe you."_
PS this is a lie
there is nothing I love more than helping ppl make ✨self discoveries✨
I'm a comedy fan who stayed for the podcast. I'm so sorry you are going through this ❤
One of my fav episodes by far ❤ but now I just miss Maddie 😢
Maddie will be back of course! She’s just touring!
You are a comedian.. And great at what you do. People need to chill out and loosen up❤ IMO!! Have a great week peeps!!
Happy Monday, folks! Here for you, Ashley ❤️💮💯
This episode was amazing!
Ill be coming back for sure. I didn't know about any of this. Ill do whatever i can to promote you. You're a big sweetheart deep down. Big hugs 🤗
I would have never gotten the news of the cancelation if Ashley wouldn't have discussed it. Not a very high quality cancelation 😂 I am sorry that it happened...
so glad to hear this finally proven right. i love you and am so sorry all this happened. i met you twice at two of your shows and knew there was no fucking way you would gladly and proudly say something in this way
That was a great episode 💙
The community is here, and we love you! ❤❤❤
...
(Also please give Sam more physical touceh!!! 😅)
I touched him a bunch of times last night at Sunday sqool!
@@ashgavs hallelujah! 😅
I'm back and resubscribed after watching the episode on the chosen family podcast. I left a very lengthy comment there that I don't feel like retyping in its entirety. To put it simply, I felt very triggered, uncomfortable and confused when everything happened so I unsubscribed. Now, after watching the Chosen Family podcast, receiving full context, and seeing how Ashely has grown from the situation, Ive subscribed once again. Im so happy the chosen family podast showed up in my feed.
I hope I dont come across as a "bad fan" or a "not true fan" for not sticking with Ashley when everything happened. I wanted to but I didnt feel like I could considering the feelings I had after the audio clip.
In this “cancel culture” age, so many people try to cancel minority by editing and creating fake things for people to believe. It’s far too easy to edit audio to turn it on people and it’s so gross that anyone would do that :/ I feel awful for Ashley. I personally did not unsubscribe and kept watching because the whole audio issue really did seem super fake, but I grew up on the internet so I’ve become incredibly used to people trying to end others’ careers with fake and edited receipts. Just sucks to see this happen to such a genuine person.
You’re not a bad fan, especially if you haven’t been watching enough of her content. Sometimes it’s super hard to read the air, and this whole situation- literally so many people online were trying to cancel her with that audio clip so it made it seem true. At least you’ve seen the truth ❤️ I just hope people end up understanding sometimes we need to give people time before they can talk to us and let us know what was happening. Even more so when their safety is being threatened, and doxing happens!
As a femboy grown into a 30 year old man that always gets carded, I want to say Lucas and his description of kissing a man is obviously him thinking of a masculine, macho, strong man with apparent lack of hygiene.
We didn't get a description of the man that he's attracted to so perhaps a fem man wouldn't do it because of his expectations.
I want more info. 😅
You're doing a great job 🙂
💯 will always have my support!
Don't ever stop!