“I left my baby to come have these babies and now I’m not with any of my children and it’s really kinda shitty” MY HEART. This is so real and raw. You’re a rockstar.
This was exactly what happened to me with my twins and it was just the worst. I was also an hour away from my oldest and i was just miserable in the post partum ward where all these women had their babies and I had nothing. It was heartbreaking and I wanted nothing more than to get out to see my babies but I was struggling so hard after my csection
Colleen has so much anxiety about being a mother and not doing a good job but she doesn't see what we see and that's that she's literally one of the best mothers and these kids are so lucky to have her. I wish she could see how amazing she is from our eyes. ❤❤❤
This time is so trying for a mom. In the moment it’s the hardest thing! Once those babies are out of the NICU you will be able to slowly forget that you missed those hours with them.
@@vickilaughs oh hush, we are aware but she is terrified. Something could go wrong and she wouldn't be able to be there, and everything can go right. It's a 50-50 chance everything can go how she wants or the total opposite. If you were a mother you'd be terrified too. There is also a thing called post-partum depression that you cant help.
@@vickilaughs her babies were born 8 weeks early and they’re in the NICU. birth trauma is real & ifs scary seeing your babies in those incubators, going home without them, etc. have a heart.
A c-section is literally one of the only surgeries where they cut through so many layers of skin and everything and expect you stand up so soon and walk so soon, you’re immensely strong and amazing. And congratulations even though it was hard and traumatic you and the babies did it
I was born pre maturely and I was in a box in and out for 8 weeks and after that I had health problems ever since when I was younger I had to be on a breathing tube but i dont get a mom to help she passed away 5 weeks later
@Amelia Laird It's still major abdominal surgery. After most abdominal surgeries you can't lift anything for weeks. After a c-section you have a several pound ever growing baby who you need to lift and carry and feed.
I understand what your saying but ALL surgeries are awful and not pleasant! Luckily she went threw a very minor surgery compared to most! I don’t know where you got that info but she’s fine just emotional 😭 I would be too…
Colleen - NICU mama here. My daughter was born 6 weeks early, just a little over 3 pounds, and having her in the NICU was the hardest thing of my life. She was there for 5.5 weeks before we were able to take her home. As hard and as painful as it all was, looking back now, I'm so thankful as that experience made me SO STRONG right out of the gate. I wasn't prepared for how it all happened, but knowing that my daughter needed me to immediately face any panic and fear I had dead on made me a different person. A better and stronger person, the person my daughter needed as her mom. You are SO STRONG. Those babies KNOW you're their mama. They are getting the care they need FROM YOU in the form of the angel NICU nurses. You are still mothering those precious babies every second of the day that they are not with you. It may not be how you envisioned, but those babies are being cared and loved for BY YOU, no matter where they are and where you are. Love you, stay strong. You've got this mama.
Thank you for sharing! That must have been so difficult, I can’t even imagine, but you’re right, you two are strong women! I hope she sees this comment.
Hi Colleen! I'm an Emergency Room RN, but while I was in Nursing School, I was a NICU cuddler for 2 years! I saw so many mama's like you that had to come in and out after they were discharged and their babes were in the NICU still. If you're open to it, I'd say ask for cuddlers (if they're available) to spend some time with your babes while you are recovering at home. It's a natural instinct to want to spend all your time there that you can, but you just went through major surgery, and while everyone wants to see you love all over your babies, please make sure you also care for you!! I just wanted to comment and say that I want you to know: when you're not there, those nurses, those cuddlers, everyone there LOVES those babies and makes sure they feel warm and welcome at all times. Everyone knows this is the hardest time you'll eve go through, seeing your children in the hospital. Everyone supports you Colleen! Heal quickly, and sending all those amazing good vibes to those kiddos to get big and strong for you!
Commenting so i hope she sees this! If they wanted to do this, I think it might help them feel a little better to know that the babies are still getting cuddles and love and human contact, in addition to the care from the doctors/nurses
Oh Colleen. You're so strong. My baby was also born via emergency c-section too. I want to let you know everything you're feeling is valid, and I felt all those things too. You're not alone. When you said "I guess I just had babies" it really resonated with me because I was so out of it during my surgery, and my baby didn't cry when she came out, that if the doctors and nurses hadn't said anything I wouldn't have even known she was born. I also didn't get to see my baby for 10 hours after my surgery because I was so sick. It's absolutely heart wrenching. You're not alone. I know a similar pain. My baby came 6 weeks early and had to spend 3 weeks in the NICU, 1.5 of which was on oxygen. From the looks of your footage, you're doing great. I loved how you said you're going to try and be easy on yourself, and that's the best thing you can do for yourself right now. Be gentle with yourself. Reach out to your therapist and others on your support team. I know that leaving your babies there is hard, I cried every single time I had to leave, the entire car ride home, and every 3 hours when I was pumping for my girl. Of course the NICU is the best place your babies can be, but in my experience, that didn't change the fact that I wanted my baby home with me and my heart ached to be with her 24/7. The NICU was the hardest experience of my life, but as someone who's 9 months on the other side of it - it'll get better. Eventually the NICU stay will feel like a distant memory. The NICU stay isn't permanent. Your babies will get to come home and be with you one day. Thoughts like that were the only thing that kept me going on the hard days when I was exhausted and hurting physically and mentally. It's not going to be forever. One day you'll be home with all your babies and your family will feel whole again. Us NICU Parents are some of the strongest parents out there. The NICU Parent community is here for you Colleen. We know how hard it is. You're doing great and you're not alone.
Nicu twin momma here!! I had the same situation with my girl. I didn't get to hold her until the next day. They were taken almost immediately after they were born via c-section also. I cried every time I had to leave them. We were in for 2 weeks, our boy (14 days for him)came home a few days before his sister (18 days for her). Leaving the nicu crushed my heart. But please be easy on yourself. They are getting the best care, and you need to heal. My heart breaks for you when you are sad, because I know that sadness. But when they come home it will all be worth it. I hope your stay is short! Congratulations and welcome to the twin club!
She is so humble to turn on her camera to show the raw moments after giving birth so that other parents who go through this are not alone. I hope and pray the babies are doing better as well as Colleen. She is the strongest ever 💞💖
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She told us that she was pregnant like 6 to 7 months ago and it feels like only 1 month has passed she bieng pregnant w twins...but im sure she is a strong woman and a mom..❤️❤️
I was born 6 weeks early and had a very hard time breathing and eating. Im 18 now, happy and healthy. My mom always told me it was the hardest 2 weeks of her life leaving me alone in the NICU. She passed this year and these vlogs have helped me feel close to her and understand what she went through with me since she can no longer tell me herself.
Once you're healed and ready, I highly suggest seeing a therapist who specializes in birth trauma. I had an emergency C-section and my daughter had to stay in the NICU for the first few days and I struggled with postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety for a long time. Therapy can really really help. You're doing so great! Just be easy on yourself and try to heal physically and emotionally.
I agree! This is so traumatizing, but it’s hard to find someone who understands. Her talking it out with her mom could be great too. All of are here to help and support her
Mom of a 31 weeker!! I remember this feeling when you said “I’m not doing well” so so vividly. It was 2 days after his birth one of the nurses in the middle of the night drawing my labs asked how I was and I said “my physical pain is nothing compared to my emotional pain.” I didn’t get to see Wyatt until 24 hours after birth, and then being discharged without him was really really gut wrenching, it stands in such opposition to maternal instinct. W spent 42 days in the NICU and every day felt like a year. The milestones in the NICU will always always be special to me, the green NICU milestone journal on Amazon helped me a lot! It got me excited about the first bath, touch times, all of it. NICU Mama solidarity. Thank you for sharing and for being so honest!! Sending all the love and sunshine to your precious family.
My friend had twins prematurely recently; being at home without them was really hard for her as well. She decided to write them letters everyday and have her daughter draw them pictures. She would write about things that she was excited for with them, and used it kind of like a diary. I don’t know if that’s something that would help you, but I thought I would suggest it.
Flynn has a chest, maybe the twins have chests too and she can also craft for them since that is something she loves to do as well and then everything, letters crafts, things Flynn makes can all live in the chest.
“i left my other baby to come have these babies, and now i’m not with any of my children” just broke my heart. i am not a mom yet, i can’t even imagine the pain of this, it has got to be one of the most painful things u can go through as a mom, my heart goes out for you, your heartache and sadness is completely valid and you are so supported in this community, we love you colleen❤️
Omg, same! I'm nowhere near becoming a mom, but this part had me crying with her! Hopefully those babies get well and home as soon as possible, so they can all finally be reunited as one family, as they should. Can't wait to see Flynn being a big brother and Colleen be at peace with all three children under the same roof!
NICU twin here* : It opens my eyes alot to see the struggle you're facing about feeling torn away from the babies, because my mother told me this happened to her as well. I'm a twin, we were born at 32 weeks. I was 3 lbs, my sister was 1 lb. She was weaker and stayed in the NICU longer. My mother had a c section, was passed out for three days, and left the hospital without us as we needed to stay for (me) a month and (her) 2 months. My mother was devastated and sobbed in the car on the way home, because she felt it was horribly unfair to have been with us and grown us and not be able to be with us and take us home. But there's pictures of us when she did take us home, and she looks so happy. Her and my sister had big smiles when she finally did take us home. You're a strong mother Colleen. When it feels tough, remember that you will take them home and you will all have big beautiful smiles when you do. Everything will be okay, it's all just a process. ❤️💕
Im also a NICU twin!! We were born a little bit earlier than colleens two cuties, and we did super well. But I remember asking my mom if she had any pictures of us from the hospital/birth, and she told me it was so painful for her to see us attached to machines and surrounded by tubes and bandages, that she couldn't even pull out a camera. She also felt that taking pictures of us meant to her that we weren't going to make it, like somehow she would be taking those pictures to capture our lives in case anything happened. She had two babies (my older siblings) before us, and another one after, all vaginal births. Yet because of the trauma that comes along with a C-section, my twin and I are the only two without birth pictures. Just thought I'd share, make sure, Colleen, you know that this is a very traumatic experience and your feelings are completely valid, and felt by at least one other mama out there!!
I know this might not help much, but as a C-Section twin baby. It makes me really appreciate what you and my mom went through so much more. Thank you for sharing your story! Sending love!!
As a momma that had her twins two months early and had a rush c-section. My heart goes out to you. I remember going home without my babies and balling, when I first saw my girls they didn’t even look real they were so small. I felt I had failed them only making it to 32 weeks and 4 days. We did 6 weeks in Nicu and had a lot of appointments in the months after for them. Today they’re almost 7 and super healthy. That time in our life’s was super hard and I feel for you and your family. Please make sure to lean on close family and friends. If I can recommend anything is too make every little mile stone they achieve in nicu a big deal. I have a book and photos of I made for my girls to look at.
“I know it could be worse” but that doesn’t negate the fact that your experience was hard. It was painful emotionally and physically. Life can always be worse, but it doesn’t mean your feelings and experiences aren’t valid. I hope the babies get to come home soon. I also help that while they are in the NICU you take care of yourself as much as you can❤️
Of course. I don’t think though, in this type of case she’s being hard on herself by saying it could be worse - it’s that she understands how lucky they are to have two living babies in such a dangerous situation. 💗
It’s going to be okay Colleen. Flynn is the smartest little boy I’ve ever seen and he knows and understands that you guys need to be with the twins. You are so strong and amazing. Thank you SO MUCH for your amazing content and you can take a break from TH-cam if you ever need it. We are all here for you ❤️
My son was 27 weeks and stayed almost 9 months in the NICU. He's almost 5 and doing great! NICU life is hard but seeing your baby(s) growing and getting stronger makes it better
i was a baby of 6 moths in the womb as well and my parents said it was very hard not being able to see me nor carry me for 3 moths straight which sounds horrible
when the twins watch this footage 20 years later from now they will see how much you cared for them. colleen ur doing everything you could. give it time, things will heal. everybody is so freaking proud of u and loves you so so much. my advice to u is to try and do everything u can that’s within your control. birth to twins is scary and i understand that there are so many unknowns. just remember that ur doing everything perfectly that is within your control. i love u
My son was a preemie. Didn’t see him for a full 24 hours after he was born. Birth was a disaster. I also almost died after from an infection. The NICU was a terrible experience. Everything about it was so tough so I feel for you Colleen! On the bright side, I got through it and my son is 7 now. He’s a sweet angel and we’re very close :)
Absolute queen! I’m sorry you and your son went through a traumatic birth… I’m so happy you and your family now that you have overcome it, even tho it is scary to remember… xxx 🙏🏻💖
Hello, how many weeks was your son when he was born? My son is at the NICU right now and he was born yesterday at 31 weeks. And I’m worried but trying to stay positive
Being able to cry and talk about all this is so good! Don’t ever try to censor or push down what you feel. Letting it all be raw will help you move through everything you’re feeling and process the situation in a healthy way. You’re doing so good! This is an emotional situation and it’s ok to be “a mess” while you go through it, thats actually the best way for your heart.
Exactly! With how fast it all happened, I'm actually impressed that she's been able to start processing it. So her crying and being in her feelings and not just in a "go-go-go" mode getting it done is so good. Such a good use of the healing time, not just for her body but for her mind.
Every time someone shares the real, raw parts of their life that shows things aren't always wonderful it's such a beautiful thing. It shows people they are not alone, that it's okay to feel, and cry, and not smile. I've been watching since March 2020 and with every vlog I love you more. Colleen you are an awesome person, and an even better mom. Thank you for helping so many women, mamas, and people feel less alone. You got this honey, sending lots of love and prayers.
As well as baby journals that you can write to them, I would also suggest getting those really soft teddy bears that you can put your heartbeat/and or messages with your voice in and they can keep in their beds with them while they are in the NICU and without you, then they will be able to still connect with you because they will still be comforted by hearing your heart beat and believe me when I say they know it's their Momma's heartbeat their listening too. Much love and Congrats to you all. I know it seems like an eternity but it will go by fast and they will be home with you in no time. ❤❤
Hearing everyone story is so heartbreaking, but so powerful as well and shows how strong nicu Mamas are. Colleen, I know it may be such a hard time for you and your husband, and you have the right to express your feelings. It’s hard seeing your babies in the NICU. They will be in my prayers, that soon they will get stronger so that they can leave. So that you can have your entire family at home together. You have such an amazing support system. We're here for you no matter what. Take care of yourself ❤️
I love how Colleen’s “sorry I haven’t been posting on here” is after she missed only 4 days. Like sis that’s more than most youtubers normally post!! Haha love you
As someone who delivers babies, a cord prolapse is my nightmare. I am so immensely happy that you are all doing well. Congratulations!! You're simply amazing!
Could you explain what it is? English isnt my first language and I am scared to shearch it up, because I am scared a picture of something i dont want to see will appear
@@jiminslostjams2430 It’s basically when the umbilical cord comes out before the baby. Sometimes it can be fixed manually but if not there is a risk the cord will collapse and the baby won’t get oxygen.
Retired nurse 👋 I was terrified watching her style her hair and put make up on before going to the hospital. Knowing her water had broke along with having breech twins and if I remember correctly her first baby came quickly, I was literally yelling at the screen to hurry up and get to the hospital. Cord prolapse was my number one thought.
Never discount your own pain by what others have gone through. There will always be that person who may have had it harder but that doesn't lessen your pain in anyway. You are so strong and it's ok to be sad and to hurt. I can't imagine what you are going through but I am amazed at how well you are doing! Sending love ❤
I had my son at 30 weeks and having to walk out of that hospital without him was the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do, still to this day. Just know that they are exactly where they need to be and in safe hands. The day that you get to take both of them home will make all of this pain and heartache worth it. You’re def not alone. Those babies won’t ever stop fighting, so you can’t either. Keep your head up mama, you got this ❤️ ps- I still have nightmares about the smells and sounds of the NICU, but it gets easier. Also, I donated milk and rocked other babies in the NICU that didn’t have mommy’s. That helped me soooooo much to get through it.
I worked on a NICU team earlier in the year as part of medical school and seeing your side and emotions is helpful for me as a future doctor. Now I understand more of what moms like you are going through and can be even more compassionate in my care. You are doing great things Colleen as a mom, as a person, and in your job.
You’re so brave and kind to be willing to share these beautiful, yet raw and unfiltered moments with us. It is impossible not to genuinely and unconditionally love you. ❤️ I was in an incubator machine when I was born, for two long weeks. I hope your babies can be with you soon ✨ Love you so much. Gorgeous soul✨
I was a NICU baby too. So was my brother. We both are adults now and im almost done with college. Things will get better, even though its terrifying right now.
Kiki!!! 🥰🥰 Hace poco comenté tu último vídeo! Qué alegría verte por aquí y qué bonitas palabras le escribes a Colleen. Colleen, you are such a strong woman (& mama) and the twins happen to be born the same day as me, so I am grateful that they're already here and they're both healthy. I'm sure they will rock our world!! Looots of love, hugs and kisses from Spain 🥺🥺❤️
Me and my twin sister were preemies, we were in incubators and on oxygen. We both pulled through and now we're 19. We were also supposed to be born around Christmas time but according to my mum. I was too eager to get out being the bigger twin.
I admire her for being so in love with her babies. My heart sank when she was talking about her babies being apart from her. They are beautiful little bubba's
I can’t imagine how this would feel- having a mom instinct to help your children and not being able to be with any of them would feel absolutely devastating . Just think about the future and how they will all be playing together, laughing, giggling and being happy in your living room in a years time! Love you Colleen
I just cry when she kissed both of her twins children(in her main channel)...this is the most wholesome things ive ever watch,u are so strong colleen,im sure u are the best mom out there☹️❤
@@kelsey1014 😭 right?! I was surprised when she uploaded the birth video. I'm glad the babies were able to get the help they needed when they were born along with Colleen.
@@taythsutjhx6153 agreed. Im very happy the babies are getting that care But i wasnt surprised that much cause she didnt upload monday or tuesday so i was kinda like ummmm and its funny cause in the last video before she had them she was saying she was waiting on bloodwork that could tell how soon shed have them but i feel like baby boy was like fuck ya bloodwork im coming now beesh. I like to think of it like that. Cause i feel like its funny.
@@kelsey1014 yeah, I mean his feet were down so I do believe he kicked his way out. Or was trying to and broke his water after hearing about Christmas wondering what it was.
Im still crying over how cute baileys reaction to sharing a birthday was, instead of being upset about having to share, she was excited about having something this special happen qnd more than glad to have it go from her day to all 3 of thems day. She's so sweet and you can tell she was raised with love and care, and the fact the twins and all the other kids in the family are being raised in such a healthy and supportive way with love and care make my heart want to vomit from happiness
I didnt see my son for the first 36 hours of his life. An emergency csection is traumatic. I had no one to talk to or anyone that understood what I had went through…sending you lots of love and healing ❤️🩹 NICU is hard, leaving the hospital without your baby is the saddest drive. You’re doing amazing Mama, one moment at a time. 💜
I highly recommend reaching out to your therapist and talking through everything, emergency c-sections and NICU time can be very traumatic and the effects of that can last a long time if not managed with a professional. You are doing so good, it's so hard 💜
I agree with this statement 100%! I'm sure she will seek therapy, but a friendly reminder is always a good idea! NICU stays are very traumatic and hard on parents!
Honestly...I don't even have children and felt your emotions from this video. I love how you are so vulnerable with your followers because you realize the importance of relating to them. Keep being an amazing human, Colleen! 😊💜
I love the clip when she's holding her son and his little eyes are just wide open and this look of like "well this is kinda bizarre,but this lady is nice so I'll just chill with her."
“Saying you can’t be sad, because it could always be worse, is like saying you can’t be happy, because it could always be better” Hang in there momma. You’ve GOT this.
Hey Colleen! I know it’s hard right now, so I’ll tell you about my little sister. She was born two and a half months early and she only weighed a pound and a half. She had to spend three months in the nicu because she was so tiny. My parents were terrified, but my sister is a fighter and is doing amazing. She has been kicking butt with everything she does. She’s currently a doctor and the head of her department at the hospital where she works. She works in pediatric pulmonology, helping babies with asthma and other respiratory issues. We could not be more proud. I know it is difficult now, but your little ones will be with you soon. They have fantastic medical care and a big, loving family waiting and rooting for them. Stay strong!
You’re feelings are valid sweetie. Having my baby early was one of the most traumatizing and beautiful things I’ve ever been through. Leaving her at the hospital was the hardest. I just wanna hug you and tell you it’s all gonna be okay 🥰 My baby is 22 now and is pregnant with my first grandbaby! The babies are gonna do awesome and be home before you know it. Oh, and talk to the nicu nurses, they are the best and will help you navigate the nicu experience
Absolutely talk to the NICU nurses they are truly amazing and it will help knowing these nurses are the ones taking care of your precious little ones will put your momma heart a little at ease. Congratulations on your first grandchild, we just became grandparents 2 weeks ago and it's truly an incredible experience. The love you feel doubles.
Colleen, I may not ever want children, but when I see women like you, I see destined mothers. The way you care for your children is beautiful and I have this belief that once someone becomes a mother, they also become part superhero bc it is an insanely difficult job. I will send prayers for you during this difficult time, you’re doing amazing ❤️
that’s exactly what i was thinking- colleen is so full of love and it is so beautiful seeing how much she loves her babies 🥺 she was absolutely destined to be a mother, she is just so incredible and brave. only freakin’ superheroes!
not to sound dramatic but colleen is one strong woman. to have major surgery and still muster up the strength to vlog and keep all of us informed about the twins and in such a timely manor!! she could’ve taken time away from youtube to process everything that’s going on, but she is still posting regularly. my hats off to you colleen, you are so amazing. much love and positive vibes to you and your family💓
You can actually. My son was a 36 and 0 baby in an incubator bed in my room. The thing is, the only reason that was possible is because he was over 35 weeks gestation and could breathe on his own.
Oh Coleen, just remember, one day your kids will see this, and they will see just how lucky they are. They will know a true mothers love. your heart is so pure, and I know that when they see this... it will be so inspiring to them for their own futures. You are such an inspiration to us all. Thank you Colleen. Hang in there, we are still with you :) Wishing you and your family luck and a speedy recovery. And remember, Flynn would want you to take all the time you need for his brother and sister.
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Seeing her so mentally and physically in pain makes me want to jump through the screen and hug her. you're so strong colleen i cant even imagine what you're going through.
As a multiple mom myself, I've never related more. I'm so glad you chose to share these moments with everyone and because there are a lot of moms going through the same thing that can find comfort in knowing others share these feelings.
In a little while, this will all seem like a little “blip” in your memories. Your babies are in the best care possible, and soon you will be able to bond with them. Right now you need to take care of yourself, get your rest and heal.
I’ve never had children before, but I am very familiar with the feeling of “I know the future will be okay, but right now does not feel okay.” You are so strong and I hope you and the people around you understand that even though things will be okay, the fact that right now doesn’t feel okay is just as real and valid and raw.
Hey girl! Oh my gosh I wish I could give you a big hug! I've been watching your videos since 7th grade choir class - now I'm 22 and have a beautiful little girl 💕 I know we've never met, but I want you to know that I care about you and your three babies 💕 This must be so hard, right now. This moment. Impossibly hard 😥 wish I was there to help 💕 You're doing amazing mama 💕
Jessica saying “you did it!” and being so proud when she found out the babies were born was the sweetest 🥺❤️
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NICU mom here. My son is almost 6 and such a happy, smart, loving little boy. It took me about a year before I could talk about the NICU without crying. It never leaves you, so thank you for bringing more awareness to this. I hope you heal up soon and that the time flies until the babies are home.
Your little precious baby boy looking around while he lays on his momma is just beautiful, you can see his little eyes just taking everything in. Your babies are so strong, just like their mom and dad!
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You are so beyond strong, my mom had an emergency c section with myself and my twin sister. She said she had sm guilt and felt horrible. But when she took us home and was so emotional and happy. You are doing amazing moma ❤️❤️
Just like a few other people, my twin and I were an emergency c section too. I had the cord around my neck, which is why I'm the older twin, and I was also only 3lbs when born. We were in the NICU for a while and had jaundice, but we are perfectly healthy and as close as ever:)
Rewatching this again now that the babies are home safe and healthy. I still couldn't help but cry with you, Colleen. I am not a mom so I can't imagine the pain. I am just glad everything is okay now and you get to hold them and be with them as much as you want!
Even though my baby wasn’t premature he had to go to the NICU after having a stroke, unfortunately the hospital I was in didn’t have a NICU and he had to be transported an hour away without me with him and it was absolutely heartbreaking. You are stronger than you think and your emotions are so valid and important. One day you will look back and won’t remember all of the negative feelings and you will remember all the positives and the milestones they reached to make it home. you got this mama♥️
Same! My daughter was ambulanced to another city. It was easily one of the hardest experiences of my life. No mama should have to live through that. But you’re right, we’re so much stronger than we know. We can do incredibly hard things 💪🏽💕
The clip of you recovering in the postpartum room had me crying. Not because I’m a mom and went thru this but because my sister went thru this and called me crying because she was being discharged and my niece had to be all alone in the nicu. It was the most heart breaking thing listening to her having a breakdown because she didn’t want to leave her baby 😭 it was hard trying to think of something to say when I couldn’t relate at all but I just said this was a blessing in disguise knowing you’d get some rest for the first time after being in labor for 36 hours and knowing that she was getting the best possible care. My heart is breaking for you momma but I’m so happy your babies are earth side and doing so well 💕💕💕
You’ve expressed a lot of feelings about the situation: it’s hard, you’re grateful they’re where they need to be, you’re sad they’re where they are, and so many seemingly conflicting feelings. All of them are true! At the same time! What you’re feeling is so so valid. I’m thinking of you and your family and praying that your little ones grow big and strong as quickly as possible. They are so lucky to be so loved by you, your family, and so many people!
Quick and traumatic births are always glazed over with “well it’s over now and you have your baby!” …as if you didn’t just die and I don’t deserve time to digest. Take time heal and know your feelings are valid. Positive vibes.
All of this, my boy was out of the room and to the NICU so quick,then the atmosphere changed back to normal like nothing happened and I was lay there like wtf.
I understand how you feel about leaving the babies. My son was born at 34 weeks and was in the NICU for 3 weeks. I cried in my hospital room for hours because I couldn't see him or hold him. Just know it gets better. Congratulations and hope to see yall home soon!
It’s the hardest thing when they’re in those “clear boxes.. alone and scared” I remember being terrified to touch my daughter, care for her because of all the cords and machines. I thought I was gonna hurt her small, fragile body. Just know you’re not alone and all of us NICU mamas are here for you! We love and support you. You are an amazing mother Colleen! Sending hugs🤍 I hope your babies get to come home soon
Please remember, everyone’s journey is different & how they feel & cope is different and that’s ok. Your feeling are valid, each day is just a stepping stone to the next & before you know it ur bundles of joy will be home, 💖💖💖💖💖
I've had 2 emergency c sections. I'm trying not to cry while I write this. I was pregnant with my first the same time as you and it was awful. It was a complete shock and I was miserable. I also had prenatal depression without realizing and some medical problems. You were the first person I saw who shared those experiences. You helped me through my pregnancy and gave me hope when you gave birth 4 months before me. My first birth was very traumatic and even though my second was also an emergency c section and definitely not what I intended, I was open to the possiblity and not in shock when it happened. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It truly helps us cope and feel like we aren't alone. C sections are hard but you will heal and this will pass. You are strong. Thank you Colleen.
My mom was actually a NICU/PICU nurse way back in the day. I can’t imagine what you’re going through BUT I do know that if your nurses and doctors are anything like my mom, they are in the best hands possible right now and they will be home, where they belong, with you guys soon! Sending love from VA ❤️
I didn’t think i would get so emotional. this made me break down in tears, holy, when you said “They’re in boxes, clear boxes, alone and scared”, that really hit, the pain and sorrow in your voice broke me, we love you Coleen. You are strong, inspiring and wonderful, we love you.
6:17 This made me go and hug my mom. I appreciate you sharing this with us because I don't know the feelings of being a mother, but this definitely puts it into perspective. So, thank you for showing this raw moment in your life. Stay strong mama
I have to give props to Bailey. Some kids would have been mad and sad that they have to share their birthday but she was great about it👏🙂 Such an amazing girl💗 Happy birthday to you and happy birthday to the twins. SOO EXCITED 😍
I kept thinking about Bailey when the psychic said the twin girl will be more serious or private- I hope they will be close as the *girls* of the cousins and didn’t realize they ended up with the same birthday 🎉💜
You don't have to apologize for not being just happy. You can feel heartbroken. You suffered an emotional loss. It's the time, the memories and the feeling right after birth you miss and that is totally fine🙂 We love you and accept you, all of you❤💗 I'm sending much love to you and the twins
@@jesussavedme6260 what has that got to do with anyrhing right now? Not everyone is religious and it's just rude to push your religion like this when it's not even the topic of conversation.
Colleen, first I want to thank you for being so open about the negative emotions. My son was born emergency csection at 26 weeks. He spent 7 months in the NICU due to difficulty eating, a brain bleed which lead to a hemorrhage and oxygen dependency. He made slow progress, had many surgeries, and my heart broke every day because I felt like I should have been able to protect him until birth. He proved after being born at 1lb 15oz that he is so strong. Your babies have more strength than you know & you are doing amazing already. Our NICU nurses loved and wanted parent participation as soon as it was safe. I was also told that it would be a rollercoaster right after his birth. Some great days and some not great days. So if you ever fall into that situation know you are not alone. Also, see if you’re comfortable or would like help talk to your hospital social worker or NICU staff can get you connected with a therapist. Mine jumped for me and I was able to be connected throughout our NICU stay with one and I have one post NICU as well. PTSD from the trauma of an Emergency C-Section can sneak up on you. Also, NICU experience alone is trauma and you deserve to know all your resources.
I can’t imagine how difficult this has been but you did it, girl. You brought these babies as far as you could, they came out when they needed to, and now the doctors are there to make sure they are safe and healthy. You have done something amazing and we are so proud of you. They will be in your arms soon, sweetie. Stay strong. We are here for you ❤️✨
My brother had a 5% change of living when he was born, spent his first year in the hospital, and first three years on a feeding tube and all. He’s 23, and just graduated college and got engaged. Time flies even when it’s hard. Really really hard.
Colleen! It is okay to mourn not being able to have all of the “regular” birth things, like not having your babies with you, not to mention all of the things that come with them being in the nicu. I’m a nicu nurse, I meet moms like you every day that I work, you mamas are the STRONGEST and most admirable I have ever seen. I know that it’s hard to be away from them right now, if there is anything that you can do to help yourself and them the most is focus on your recovery so that as the babies become more able to be held and cared for by you, you can fully be with them . I am so so sorry that you have had to experience nicu mom life, I really would not Wish it on anyone. Mourn how you can, focus on recovering and then do what you can for your babies. I love you guys, I’ve watched you for forever, i wish for you guys the best
I felt that way with my son. I still feel that way. I want so badly to be able to have a normal pregnancy and birth. We may have more because my specialist said I can, but I'm scared I will get preeclampsia again and have to go through a C-section again.
When my daughter was born my husband took her into the nursery so I could take a nap. I couldn't sleep, I just kept smelling her hat and crying. Thinking about how she was so close, but so far. I cannot imagine the NICU experience. You are all so, so strong! So happy for all of those beautiful moments you're spending together ❤️
I totally understand how she feels not having her babies with her. My son being in the NICU was the hardest thing. Having to leave the hospital without him broke me. It feels so wrong to be without this tiny baby you just grew and gave birth to. 💔 But I promise the day you bring them home will be the happiest day ever. Hang in there mama, you're doing great. 💕
I’m so proud of Colleen.. Ive seen her whole pregnancy, all the crying and frustration, the laughing, how strong she stayed and how good she was to Flynn even when she wasn’t at her best.. Now seeing her holding her twins, it was so worthy. OMG I’m so happy for her. SHE DID THAT,
Oh my gosh! Colleen!!!! You've just had TWINS and you're working so hard to keep us in the loop! You're so selfless, girl! Such precious lil baby angels! Take good care of yourself and you take ALL the time you need for yourself and your family. However long it takes. You're amazing 💝
My heart absolutely broke for you not being able to see them. When my son was born, he had fluid in his lungs so they rushed him out of the room. I had all kinds of people coming in saying how cute he was (they saw him in the nursery) and I couldn’t see him because I was still recovering from the epidural. It was absolutely heartbreaking. Hang in there sweetheart! You are so strong, so beyond proud of you! Congratulations on your sweet babies
I feel like we are all family, I just wanna hug you Colleen... I'm crying like a fool.. Eric, is such a wonderful daddy.. Baby boy already looking around at this new world and loving his parents, baby girl will probably out grow her big brother in no time!!! May GOD bless you all!! 💙💜💙💜💙 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
6:44….i cried with you, you’re such a good mom! Natural feelings of a mom being away from her babies. I know this feeling too. my son’s nicu stay was short lived but it wasn’t easy!
When my twin and I were born, we were also in the NICU. I'm sure it was terrifying for my parents because we were their first kids, but my dad (always the comedian) called our NICU boxes our own little "condos." He wanted to be with us but he jokes to this day that no room was nicer than that one! I know it's hard to see them in there but I promise they are comfy and waiting to snuggle with you ❤️
being away from my baby girl was the absolute worst part of giving birth for me.. they took her away just to do her hearing test and whatnot, but every minute that passed not having her in my arms was extremely traumatizing. I cried the entire time and wanted to scream at the staff 😓 it's just best to remember that it'll pass and you'll have them all to yourself soon. Again I'm so proud of you Colleen. You're such a freakin rockstar.
I just had my daughter a month ago and I was going to say the same thing they just took her way to do her hearing test but I watched the clock waiting for her to come back every minute was terrible
@@Emivibes96 it really was horrible. especially considering the fact that they told me they just had to get her weight, and she was gone getting all kinds of things done for the better part of an hour ☹ super upsetting.. i haven't wanted a second away from her since I got her back that day lol.
@@lovelycampbell oh my gosh she was only gone for maybe 15 minutes but still super hard and then I got blood clots in my leg from going from being pregnant to not being pregnant 2 weeks after she was born and had to leave her with my husband for 3 days while I was at the hospital the hardest situation I’ve ever had to go through
@@Emivibes96 I'm so sorry! 😞 I'm fortunate enough that I had an easy labor, no complications.. I got to the hospital around 1pm, had her at 8pm, and we were able to take her home around 9pm the next day. She just turned 2 months 2 days ago. It literally feels like all of this happened yesterday 😭
NICU mom here: first of all, congrats! I almost cried when watching the birth video, I’ve been following you since you were pregnant with Flynn (had my first born on Dec 21/2018), so seeing you now with the pregnancy of your twins has been incredible. My son had some complications when he was born, so he was taken immediately to the NICU, I got to hold him for like 5 seconds before that. I saw him like 10 hours after he was born, and only because I kept asking for him, because no one would say anything (it was a really serious thing). I’m usually not emotional about things, but I got to share my room with another new mom and it killed me to hear her next to me getting to feed her newborn, hearing the nurses guide her through everything, etc etc. My baby boy had to spend almost 2 months in the NICU, the first month was the hardest because he wasn’t able to breathe on his own and that was the main thing we were waiting for (he was more than full term), the second month was easy since he was healthy and we were making sure there was nothing out of the ordinary. During all this time I had to find some type of silver lining to avoid depression and the fact that I spent the whole day in a place surrounded by sad faces, and this was it: I had the opportunity to get as much sleep as possible while recovering from the birth, when it was time for me to take care of him all day long in the hospital I was a 100% ready, he had his naps and feedings well scheduled, so it also made it easy when I was finally able to bring him home, and he had no problem when the time came to breastfeed, he actually ditched any other type of feeding once he began (that made me feel as if we recovered some time that had been lost). I know is not much, but that was something that really helped me through the whole thing, and knowing it would all be behind us once he got out of there, that I’d get to spend a whole life watching him grow and that would be nothing compared to the days/months he was in the NICU. Right now he’s as happy as can be, I’m expecting my second baby on March and I’m hoping I’ll get to experience a normal birth.
Colleen's maternal instinct is strong. I remember having my son in the NICU and not being able to hold him after he was born. It was painful. Your body wants to be with that baby that you've been caring and nurturing for the time that they were inside of your body. Massive amounts of hormones are flowing through your body to create that bond & make milk for the baby.
“I left my baby to come have these babies and now I’m not with any of my children and it’s really kinda shitty”
MY HEART. This is so real and raw. You’re a rockstar.
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@@pigthebunny 11:15
This broke my heart. As a parent, I cannot fathom how painful.
This was exactly what happened to me with my twins and it was just the worst. I was also an hour away from my oldest and i was just miserable in the post partum ward where all these women had their babies and I had nothing. It was heartbreaking and I wanted nothing more than to get out to see my babies but I was struggling so hard after my csection
Colleen has so much anxiety about being a mother and not doing a good job but she doesn't see what we see and that's that she's literally one of the best mothers and these kids are so lucky to have her. I wish she could see how amazing she is from our eyes. ❤❤❤
So right🤍
Yes but her feelings are valid!! We shouldn't dismiss it!! It's her life and journey after all!!
This time is so trying for a mom. In the moment it’s the hardest thing! Once those babies are out of the NICU you will be able to slowly forget that you missed those hours with them.
For real ! I’m a mom and I look at her as a role model for my own parenting she is literally incredible 🥺🥺💙💙💙🙏🙏
So inspiring
“They’re in boxes...clear boxes...alone and scared...” it’s so sad to hear the pain in her voice
:(
She'll be fine.
@@vickilaughs oh hush, we are aware but she is terrified. Something could go wrong and she wouldn't be able to be there, and everything can go right. It's a 50-50 chance everything can go how she wants or the total opposite. If you were a mother you'd be terrified too. There is also a thing called post-partum depression that you cant help.
@@vickilaughs her babies were born 8 weeks early and they’re in the NICU. birth trauma is real & ifs scary seeing your babies in those incubators, going home without them, etc. have a heart.
A c-section is literally one of the only surgeries where they cut through so many layers of skin and everything and expect you stand up so soon and walk so soon, you’re immensely strong and amazing. And congratulations even though it was hard and traumatic you and the babies did it
I was born pre maturely and I was in a box in and out for 8 weeks and after that I had health problems ever since when I was younger I had to be on a breathing tube but i dont get a mom to help she passed away 5 weeks later
@@ihavenofriends9942 I’m sorry for your loss
@@maia3253 thank you
@Amelia Laird
It's still major abdominal surgery. After most abdominal surgeries you can't lift anything for weeks. After a c-section you have a several pound ever growing baby who you need to lift and carry and feed.
I understand what your saying but ALL surgeries are awful and not pleasant! Luckily she went threw a very minor surgery compared to most! I don’t know where you got that info but she’s fine just emotional 😭 I would be too…
Colleen - NICU mama here. My daughter was born 6 weeks early, just a little over 3 pounds, and having her in the NICU was the hardest thing of my life. She was there for 5.5 weeks before we were able to take her home. As hard and as painful as it all was, looking back now, I'm so thankful as that experience made me SO STRONG right out of the gate. I wasn't prepared for how it all happened, but knowing that my daughter needed me to immediately face any panic and fear I had dead on made me a different person. A better and stronger person, the person my daughter needed as her mom. You are SO STRONG. Those babies KNOW you're their mama. They are getting the care they need FROM YOU in the form of the angel NICU nurses. You are still mothering those precious babies every second of the day that they are not with you. It may not be how you envisioned, but those babies are being cared and loved for BY YOU, no matter where they are and where you are. Love you, stay strong. You've got this mama.
This is beautiful Ashley. I’m so glad your daughter is okay.
This comment is so beautiful! I hope this encourages you, sweet Colleen!
this is so sweet
thank you sharing , Ashely. I hope Colleen reads your comment. How is your baby girl today?
Thank you for sharing! That must have been so difficult, I can’t even imagine, but you’re right, you two are strong women! I hope she sees this comment.
Hi Colleen! I'm an Emergency Room RN, but while I was in Nursing School, I was a NICU cuddler for 2 years! I saw so many mama's like you that had to come in and out after they were discharged and their babes were in the NICU still.
If you're open to it, I'd say ask for cuddlers (if they're available) to spend some time with your babes while you are recovering at home. It's a natural instinct to want to spend all your time there that you can, but you just went through major surgery, and while everyone wants to see you love all over your babies, please make sure you also care for you!!
I just wanted to comment and say that I want you to know: when you're not there, those nurses, those cuddlers, everyone there LOVES those babies and makes sure they feel warm and welcome at all times. Everyone knows this is the hardest time you'll eve go through, seeing your children in the hospital.
Everyone supports you Colleen! Heal quickly, and sending all those amazing good vibes to those kiddos to get big and strong for you!
Commenting so i hope she sees this! If they wanted to do this, I think it might help them feel a little better to know that the babies are still getting cuddles and love and human contact, in addition to the care from the doctors/nurses
Boosting this! Thank you for sharing I hope this helps her!
GUYS BOOST THIS OUT!
amazing comment ‼️‼️‼️
liking and commenting to boost this comment 🤍
Oh Colleen. You're so strong. My baby was also born via emergency c-section too. I want to let you know everything you're feeling is valid, and I felt all those things too. You're not alone. When you said "I guess I just had babies" it really resonated with me because I was so out of it during my surgery, and my baby didn't cry when she came out, that if the doctors and nurses hadn't said anything I wouldn't have even known she was born. I also didn't get to see my baby for 10 hours after my surgery because I was so sick. It's absolutely heart wrenching. You're not alone. I know a similar pain.
My baby came 6 weeks early and had to spend 3 weeks in the NICU, 1.5 of which was on oxygen. From the looks of your footage, you're doing great. I loved how you said you're going to try and be easy on yourself, and that's the best thing you can do for yourself right now. Be gentle with yourself. Reach out to your therapist and others on your support team.
I know that leaving your babies there is hard, I cried every single time I had to leave, the entire car ride home, and every 3 hours when I was pumping for my girl. Of course the NICU is the best place your babies can be, but in my experience, that didn't change the fact that I wanted my baby home with me and my heart ached to be with her 24/7.
The NICU was the hardest experience of my life, but as someone who's 9 months on the other side of it - it'll get better. Eventually the NICU stay will feel like a distant memory.
The NICU stay isn't permanent. Your babies will get to come home and be with you one day. Thoughts like that were the only thing that kept me going on the hard days when I was exhausted and hurting physically and mentally. It's not going to be forever. One day you'll be home with all your babies and your family will feel whole again.
Us NICU Parents are some of the strongest parents out there. The NICU Parent community is here for you Colleen. We know how hard it is. You're doing great and you're not alone.
I love your channel!
Longest comment I've ever seen Lol xxxx
@@laurahlgyom5dawson885 that's not nice. She was helping Colleen.
Nicu twin momma here!! I had the same situation with my girl. I didn't get to hold her until the next day. They were taken almost immediately after they were born via c-section also. I cried every time I had to leave them. We were in for 2 weeks, our boy (14 days for him)came home a few days before his sister (18 days for her). Leaving the nicu crushed my heart. But please be easy on yourself. They are getting the best care, and you need to heal. My heart breaks for you when you are sad, because I know that sadness. But when they come home it will all be worth it. I hope your stay is short! Congratulations and welcome to the twin club!
i love your channel, ash. i was surprised to see your comment here- i didn’t know you watched colleen. i love both of your channels!
She is so humble to turn on her camera to show the raw moments after giving birth so that other parents who go through this are not alone. I hope and pray the babies are doing better as well as Colleen. She is the strongest ever 💞💖
Your so right
I know i feel very bad
Hopefully she’ll learn that to be a good mother, you have to NOT hurt children. I worry about the behaviour she models to her children
So true ❤❤❤
I can’t believe the twins are actually here! Time went by so fast.
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It did!
Ikr
True..❤️
She told us that she was pregnant like 6 to 7 months ago and it feels like only 1 month has passed she bieng pregnant w twins...but im sure she is a strong woman and a mom..❤️❤️
I was born 6 weeks early and had a very hard time breathing and eating. Im 18 now, happy and healthy. My mom always told me it was the hardest 2 weeks of her life leaving me alone in the NICU. She passed this year and these vlogs have helped me feel close to her and understand what she went through with me since she can no longer tell me herself.
i'm sorry for your loss. you're so strong
Awww
Im sorry for your loss :(
I’m so sorry for your loss, you are so strong and loved!❤️
Sorry for your loss
Once you're healed and ready, I highly suggest seeing a therapist who specializes in birth trauma. I had an emergency C-section and my daughter had to stay in the NICU for the first few days and I struggled with postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety for a long time. Therapy can really really help. You're doing so great! Just be easy on yourself and try to heal physically and emotionally.
I second seeking therapy
I agree! This is so traumatizing, but it’s hard to find someone who understands. Her talking it out with her mom could be great too. All of are here to help and support her
All of us are here*
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Mom of a 31 weeker!! I remember this feeling when you said “I’m not doing well” so so vividly. It was 2 days after his birth one of the nurses in the middle of the night drawing my labs asked how I was and I said “my physical pain is nothing compared to my emotional pain.” I didn’t get to see Wyatt until 24 hours after birth, and then being discharged without him was really really gut wrenching, it stands in such opposition to maternal instinct. W spent 42 days in the NICU and every day felt like a year. The milestones in the NICU will always always be special to me, the green NICU milestone journal on Amazon helped me a lot! It got me excited about the first bath, touch times, all of it.
NICU Mama solidarity. Thank you for sharing and for being so honest!! Sending all the love and sunshine to your precious family.
31 WEEKER WOW Your amazing
I was also a 31 weeker momma! We stayed in nicu for 36 days. 💙
I was also a 31 weeker momma! We stayed in nicu for 36 days. 💙
@@annanicolevining7399 YOUR AMAZING TOO
My friend had twins prematurely recently; being at home without them was really hard for her as well. She decided to write them letters everyday and have her daughter draw them pictures. She would write about things that she was excited for with them, and used it kind of like a diary.
I don’t know if that’s something that would help you, but I thought I would suggest it.
That sounds really sweet, aww
Awh I think she'd love this! I hope your friend and her babies are doing okay x
Flynn has a chest, maybe the twins have chests too and she can also craft for them since that is something she loves to do as well and then everything, letters crafts, things Flynn makes can all live in the chest.
This would be great for her! Especially since she wrote a journal to Flynn before he was born and she didn’t get to do that this time around 💛
That’s amazing xx
“i left my other baby to come have these babies, and now i’m not with any of my children” just broke my heart. i am not a mom yet, i can’t even imagine the pain of this, it has got to be one of the most painful things u can go through as a mom, my heart goes out for you, your heartache and sadness is completely valid and you are so supported in this community, we love you colleen❤️
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Omg, same! I'm nowhere near becoming a mom, but this part had me crying with her! Hopefully those babies get well and home as soon as possible, so they can all finally be reunited as one family, as they should. Can't wait to see Flynn being a big brother and Colleen be at peace with all three children under the same roof!
time?
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NICU twin here* : It opens my eyes alot to see the struggle you're facing about feeling torn away from the babies, because my mother told me this happened to her as well. I'm a twin, we were born at 32 weeks. I was 3 lbs, my sister was 1 lb. She was weaker and stayed in the NICU longer. My mother had a c section, was passed out for three days, and left the hospital without us as we needed to stay for (me) a month and (her) 2 months. My mother was devastated and sobbed in the car on the way home, because she felt it was horribly unfair to have been with us and grown us and not be able to be with us and take us home. But there's pictures of us when she did take us home, and she looks so happy. Her and my sister had big smiles when she finally did take us home. You're a strong mother Colleen. When it feels tough, remember that you will take them home and you will all have big beautiful smiles when you do. Everything will be okay, it's all just a process. ❤️💕
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This was a great experience to share!!! Happy you’re here!! 🥰
Awe my little brother was 2 pounds and was in the nicu for months it’s so hard but great when we got to take him home
Im also a NICU twin!! We were born a little bit earlier than colleens two cuties, and we did super well. But I remember asking my mom if she had any pictures of us from the hospital/birth, and she told me it was so painful for her to see us attached to machines and surrounded by tubes and bandages, that she couldn't even pull out a camera. She also felt that taking pictures of us meant to her that we weren't going to make it, like somehow she would be taking those pictures to capture our lives in case anything happened. She had two babies (my older siblings) before us, and another one after, all vaginal births. Yet because of the trauma that comes along with a C-section, my twin and I are the only two without birth pictures. Just thought I'd share, make sure, Colleen, you know that this is a very traumatic experience and your feelings are completely valid, and felt by at least one other mama out there!!
I know this might not help much, but as a C-Section twin baby. It makes me really appreciate what you and my mom went through so much more. Thank you for sharing your story! Sending love!!
"We did it." "No, YOU did it." I love how genuinely perfect Eric is to her. It makes me tear up
I aspire to have a husband as great as erik. he & colleen are definitely meant to be❤️
As a momma that had her twins two months early and had a rush c-section. My heart goes out to you. I remember going home without my babies and balling, when I first saw my girls they didn’t even look real they were so small. I felt I had failed them only making it to 32 weeks and 4 days. We did 6 weeks in Nicu and had a lot of appointments in the months after for them. Today they’re almost 7 and super healthy. That time in our life’s was super hard and I feel for you and your family. Please make sure to lean on close family and friends. If I can recommend anything is too make every little mile stone they achieve in nicu a big deal. I have a book and photos of I made for my girls to look at.
You are one strong momma!
This is soo sad! Glad their doing well
I had my son at 30 weeks and had to do an emergency C-section too. My son is doing great at 2. It's really amazing how babies so little can catch up!
I had a 25 weeker, he’s 3.5 now and doing great! Preemies are so strong!
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“I know it could be worse” but that doesn’t negate the fact that your experience was hard. It was painful emotionally and physically.
Life can always be worse, but it doesn’t mean your feelings and experiences aren’t valid.
I hope the babies get to come home soon. I also help that while they are in the NICU you take care of yourself as much as you can❤️
BINGO “I know it could be worse” but that doesn’t negate the fact that your experience was hard. It was painful emotionally and physically.
This is the best thing I've ever heard in my entire life and I hope more people hear this
Thank you for saying this!! Both realities can be true - it can be worse and this is still incredibly challenging and difficult! 🙌🏾
Of course. I don’t think though, in this type of case she’s being hard on herself by saying it could be worse - it’s that she understands how lucky they are to have two living babies in such a dangerous situation. 💗
"somewhere in the universe, somewhere someomes got it worse, wish that made it easier, wish i didnt feel the hurt"
It’s going to be okay Colleen. Flynn is the smartest little boy I’ve ever seen and he knows and understands that you guys need to be with the twins. You are so strong and amazing. Thank you SO MUCH for your amazing content and you can take a break from TH-cam if you ever need it. We are all here for you ❤️
My son was 27 weeks and stayed almost 9 months in the NICU. He's almost 5 and doing great! NICU life is hard but seeing your baby(s) growing and getting stronger makes it better
WOW! Glad your son is doing well, that must've been quite the ordeal
i was a baby of 6 moths in the womb as well and my parents said it was very hard not being able to see me nor carry me for 3 moths straight which sounds horrible
9 months? Oh mama I could not imagine. I’m so glad to hear he is doing well ❤️
when the twins watch this footage 20 years later from now they will see how much you cared for them. colleen ur doing everything you could. give it time, things will heal. everybody is so freaking proud of u and loves you so so much. my advice to u is to try and do everything u can that’s within your control. birth to twins is scary and i understand that there are so many unknowns. just remember that ur doing everything perfectly that is within your control. i love u
“To know that my babies are here in this building and not with me” broke my heart. I’m so happy you and your babies are safe. Love you Colleen
The babies are still in the NICU 😭
Oh man that broke my heart too🥺🥺🥺 I would of so givin her a hug if I was there 🥺💛💛💛
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I’m sobbing
@@obsessedwithbluefood3502 aren’t we all
My son was a preemie. Didn’t see him for a full 24 hours after he was born. Birth was a disaster. I also almost died after from an infection. The NICU was a terrible experience. Everything about it was so tough so I feel for you Colleen! On the bright side, I got through it and my son is 7 now. He’s a sweet angel and we’re very close :)
Absolute queen! I’m sorry you and your son went through a traumatic birth… I’m so happy you and your family now that you have overcome it, even tho it is scary to remember… xxx 🙏🏻💖
Hello, how many weeks was your son when he was born? My son is at the NICU right now and he was born yesterday at 31 weeks. And I’m worried but trying to stay positive
@@ann0y1n98 how’s everything now?
I’m so sorry for your experience! Prayers that you’re healing and your baby boy is doing okay too 💕
Being able to cry and talk about all this is so good! Don’t ever try to censor or push down what you feel. Letting it all be raw will help you move through everything you’re feeling and process the situation in a healthy way. You’re doing so good! This is an emotional situation and it’s ok to be “a mess” while you go through it, thats actually the best way for your heart.
Exactly! With how fast it all happened, I'm actually impressed that she's been able to start processing it. So her crying and being in her feelings and not just in a "go-go-go" mode getting it done is so good. Such a good use of the healing time, not just for her body but for her mind.
Yes this is so true. Thank you for sharing 🙏
This !!!!!
the way everyone cares and supports colleen that this is #1 on trending rn is literally amazing
And her other video is #3 🥺
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#ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね！１#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね（笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした！#今後は気を付けないとね5). . !💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！#この日のライブ配信は、#１万人を超える人が見ていたも ん（#笑）#やっぱり人参最高！#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです！（ #笑）#垃圾
Honestly what’s been trending these past few days has been irrelevant and boring so I’m glad this trending
Every time someone shares the real, raw parts of their life that shows things aren't always wonderful it's such a beautiful thing. It shows people they are not alone, that it's okay to feel, and cry, and not smile. I've been watching since March 2020 and with every vlog I love you more. Colleen you are an awesome person, and an even better mom. Thank you for helping so many women, mamas, and people feel less alone. You got this honey, sending lots of love and prayers.
Couldn’t of said it any better ❤️ I agree with you completely
this is something i appreciate of colleen so so much. Im not a mom and i still appreciate the realness of motherhood that she shares
As well as baby journals that you can write to them, I would also suggest getting those really soft teddy bears that you can put your heartbeat/and or messages with your voice in and they can keep in their beds with them while they are in the NICU and without you, then they will be able to still connect with you because they will still be comforted by hearing your heart beat and believe me when I say they know it's their Momma's heartbeat their listening too. Much love and Congrats to you all. I know it seems like an eternity but it will go by fast and they will be home with you in no time. ❤❤
this is why colleen is my favorite youtuber
Same that’s what I love most about Colleen she’s super real and raw 😊
Hearing everyone story is so heartbreaking, but so powerful as well and shows how strong nicu Mamas are. Colleen, I know it may be such a hard time for you and your husband, and you have the right to express your feelings. It’s hard seeing your babies in the NICU. They will be in my prayers, that soon they will get stronger so that they can leave. So that you can have your entire family at home together.
You have such an amazing support system. We're here for you no matter what. Take care of yourself ❤️
I love how Colleen’s “sorry I haven’t been posting on here” is after she missed only 4 days. Like sis that’s more than most youtubers normally post!! Haha love you
She literally just had a c-section with TWINS and has already posted twice since then. She’s so flipping incredible !!
th-cam.com/video/iNzLdyUeOy8/w-d-xo.html
@@aliahartley4362 dedicated to her job 💯
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As someone who delivers babies, a cord prolapse is my nightmare. I am so immensely happy that you are all doing well. Congratulations!! You're simply amazing!
Could you explain what it is? English isnt my first language and I am scared to shearch it up, because I am scared a picture of something i dont want to see will appear
@@jiminslostjams2430 It’s basically when the umbilical cord comes out before the baby. Sometimes it can be fixed manually but if not there is a risk the cord will collapse and the baby won’t get oxygen.
@@SarahBevElizabeth Ohh, that doesnt sound good, thanks for explaining
Retired nurse 👋 I was terrified watching her style her hair and put make up on before going to the hospital. Knowing her water had broke along with having breech twins and if I remember correctly her first baby came quickly, I was literally yelling at the screen to hurry up and get to the hospital. Cord prolapse was my number one thought.
When she said “I’m not with any of my babies” my heart broke.
Yeah
💖💖💖💖My Son Agreed 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
Never discount your own pain by what others have gone through. There will always be that person who may have had it harder but that doesn't lessen your pain in anyway. You are so strong and it's ok to be sad and to hurt. I can't imagine what you are going through but I am amazed at how well you are doing! Sending love ❤
I had my son at 30 weeks and having to walk out of that hospital without him was the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do, still to this day. Just know that they are exactly where they need to be and in safe hands. The day that you get to take both of them home will make all of this pain and heartache worth it. You’re def not alone. Those babies won’t ever stop fighting, so you can’t either. Keep your head up mama, you got this ❤️ ps- I still have nightmares about the smells and sounds of the NICU, but it gets easier. Also, I donated milk and rocked other babies in the NICU that didn’t have mommy’s. That helped me soooooo much to get through it.
I worked on a NICU team earlier in the year as part of medical school and seeing your side and emotions is helpful for me as a future doctor. Now I understand more of what moms like you are going through and can be even more compassionate in my care. You are doing great things Colleen as a mom, as a person, and in your job.
You’re so brave and kind to be willing to share these beautiful, yet raw and unfiltered moments with us. It is impossible not to genuinely and unconditionally love you. ❤️ I was in an incubator machine when I was born, for two long weeks. I hope your babies can be with you soon ✨ Love you so much. Gorgeous soul✨
I was a NICU baby too. So was my brother. We both are adults now and im almost done with college. Things will get better, even though its terrifying right now.
Kiki!!! 🥰🥰 Hace poco comenté tu último vídeo! Qué alegría verte por aquí y qué bonitas palabras le escribes a Colleen. Colleen, you are such a strong woman (& mama) and the twins happen to be born the same day as me, so I am grateful that they're already here and they're both healthy. I'm sure they will rock our world!! Looots of love, hugs and kisses from Spain 🥺🥺❤️
Im so happy for u colleen
Me and my twin sister were preemies, we were in incubators and on oxygen. We both pulled through and now we're 19. We were also supposed to be born around Christmas time but according to my mum. I was too eager to get out being the bigger twin.
Hi Kiki ! Tu es une belle âme aussi 💕
I admire her for being so in love with her babies. My heart sank when she was talking about her babies being apart from her. They are beautiful little bubba's
I can’t imagine how this would feel- having a mom instinct to help your children and not being able to be with any of them would feel absolutely devastating . Just think about the future and how they will all be playing together, laughing, giggling and being happy in your living room in a years time! Love you Colleen
Great advise
I hope her twins say 💀💀🪦🪦⚰️⚰️
@@tristynbail6443 wtf is wrong with you
@@tristynbail6443 It's fine, I'm sure lots of people think the same about you.
@@ItsAshley917 nah no one😂😂👍👍good try tho
I just cry when she kissed both of her twins children(in her main channel)...this is the most wholesome things ive ever watch,u are so strong colleen,im sure u are the best mom out there☹️❤
I cried when she was talking to baby boy and asking him why he broke his water and calling him silly. Thag made me cry. Idk why. It was so wholesome
@@kelsey1014 😭 right?! I was surprised when she uploaded the birth video. I'm glad the babies were able to get the help they needed when they were born along with Colleen.
@@taythsutjhx6153 agreed. Im very happy the babies are getting that care But i wasnt surprised that much cause she didnt upload monday or tuesday so i was kinda like ummmm and its funny cause in the last video before she had them she was saying she was waiting on bloodwork that could tell how soon shed have them but i feel like baby boy was like fuck ya bloodwork im coming now beesh. I like to think of it like that. Cause i feel like its funny.
Thats the exact face I was making. ☹️
@@kelsey1014 yeah, I mean his feet were down so I do believe he kicked his way out. Or was trying to and broke his water after hearing about Christmas wondering what it was.
Im still crying over how cute baileys reaction to sharing a birthday was, instead of being upset about having to share, she was excited about having something this special happen qnd more than glad to have it go from her day to all 3 of thems day. She's so sweet and you can tell she was raised with love and care, and the fact the twins and all the other kids in the family are being raised in such a healthy and supportive way with love and care make my heart want to vomit from happiness
i love how she's straight out of giving birth and has her makeup done and everything. absolute queen. stay strong
I dont find that normal or necessary
@@pinkstetoscope8027 the comment or the makeup
I’m just glad that everyone’s alright
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*MY CONTENT IS BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE'S, AND IT'S TRUE!*
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Yeah I’m glad that everyone is ok
Lol th-cam.com/video/NcecKa0kn9M/w-d-xo.html nobody believes 😂
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I didnt see my son for the first 36 hours of his life. An emergency csection is traumatic. I had no one to talk to or anyone that understood what I had went through…sending you lots of love and healing ❤️🩹 NICU is hard, leaving the hospital without your baby is the saddest drive. You’re doing amazing Mama, one moment at a time. 💜
I highly recommend reaching out to your therapist and talking through everything, emergency c-sections and NICU time can be very traumatic and the effects of that can last a long time if not managed with a professional. You are doing so good, it's so hard 💜
She’s gonna do that
I 💯% ❤️ this comment. It is extremely important for her to talk to her therapist.
@@RayneZaleska I feel like she treats her audience as a kinda of therapist as well
I agree with this statement 100%! I'm sure she will seek therapy, but a friendly reminder is always a good idea! NICU stays are very traumatic and hard on parents!
@@deijadoo07 yeah, don’t worry, she takes her mental health very seriously and will be one of her main priorities
Honestly...I don't even have children and felt your emotions from this video. I love how you are so vulnerable with your followers because you realize the importance of relating to them. Keep being an amazing human, Colleen! 😊💜
I love the clip when she's holding her son and his little eyes are just wide open and this look of like "well this is kinda bizarre,but this lady is nice so I'll just chill with her."
he knows its his mama❤️
Yes, I'm sure he knows ❤️ he seemed so calmed with his mommy
@@birdmaxwell I know! ❤❤ he was so confused yet so calm because he felt safe in his mommy's arms! So sweet I could cry! ❤
“Saying you can’t be sad, because it could always be worse, is like saying you can’t be happy, because it could always be better”
Hang in there momma. You’ve GOT this.
THIS!!! All of this right here!!!
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I'm so proud of my cousin Colleen oh my God she did it yay 😁 oh my gosh 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Colleen you are protecting your children by leaving them with trained professionals. You are the best mom ever ❤️
@E M E L Y shut up bot
mhm definitely. she's is truly the best
Exactly 💜💜💜💜 I know it feel strange, but it's so true and she's doing an absolutely amazing job.
What about your own mom? 🤣
@@skibiditoiletrizzhaha Colleen is the best mom ever for her babies.
Hey Colleen! I know it’s hard right now, so I’ll tell you about my little sister. She was born two and a half months early and she only weighed a pound and a half. She had to spend three months in the nicu because she was so tiny. My parents were terrified, but my sister is a fighter and is doing amazing. She has been kicking butt with everything she does. She’s currently a doctor and the head of her department at the hospital where she works. She works in pediatric pulmonology, helping babies with asthma and other respiratory issues. We could not be more proud.
I know it is difficult now, but your little ones will be with you soon. They have fantastic medical care and a big, loving family waiting and rooting for them. Stay strong!
You’re feelings are valid sweetie. Having my baby early was one of the most traumatizing and beautiful things I’ve ever been through. Leaving her at the hospital was the hardest. I just wanna hug you and tell you it’s all gonna be okay 🥰 My baby is 22 now and is pregnant with my first grandbaby! The babies are gonna do awesome and be home before you know it. Oh, and talk to the nicu nurses, they are the best and will help you navigate the nicu experience
Congrats on your first grandchild! :)
Absolutely talk to the NICU nurses they are truly amazing and it will help knowing these nurses are the ones taking care of your precious little ones will put your momma heart a little at ease. Congratulations on your first grandchild, we just became grandparents 2 weeks ago and it's truly an incredible experience. The love you feel doubles.
@@lenat7397 thank you 💙💙💙
@@michellewheeler559 thank you and congratulations to you too 💙💙💙
Colleen, I may not ever want children, but when I see women like you, I see destined mothers. The way you care for your children is beautiful and I have this belief that once someone becomes a mother, they also become part superhero bc it is an insanely difficult job. I will send prayers for you during this difficult time, you’re doing amazing ❤️
that’s exactly what i was thinking- colleen is so full of love and it is so beautiful seeing how much she loves her babies 🥺 she was absolutely destined to be a mother, she is just so incredible and brave. only freakin’ superheroes!
Hey kesley
not to sound dramatic but colleen is one strong woman. to have major surgery and still muster up the strength to vlog and keep all of us informed about the twins and in such a timely manor!! she could’ve taken time away from youtube to process everything that’s going on, but she is still posting regularly. my hats off to you colleen, you are so amazing. much love and positive vibes to you and your family💓
I honestly wish parents could have the incubators in their room since it's so heartbreaking to be separated like that. I love u Colleen
It is possible in the netherlands (also with twins). We call it neosuites.
My hospital had hotel rooms across from the nicu that you could stay in. I had to
You can actually. My son was a 36 and 0 baby in an incubator bed in my room. The thing is, the only reason that was possible is because he was over 35 weeks gestation and could breathe on his own.
Oh Coleen, just remember, one day your kids will see this, and they will see just how lucky they are. They will know a true mothers love. your heart is so pure, and I know that when they see this... it will be so inspiring to them for their own futures. You are such an inspiration to us all. Thank you Colleen. Hang in there, we are still with you :) Wishing you and your family luck and a speedy recovery. And remember, Flynn would want you to take all the time you need for his brother and sister.
So proud of you for getting through this pregnancy and the birth of the twins!! They’re absolutely adorable!
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Seeing her so mentally and physically in pain makes me want to jump through the screen and hug her. you're so strong colleen i cant even imagine what you're going through.
As a multiple mom myself, I've never related more. I'm so glad you chose to share these moments with everyone and because there are a lot of moms going through the same thing that can find comfort in knowing others share these feelings.
In a little while, this will all seem like a little “blip” in your memories. Your babies are in the best care possible, and soon you will be able to bond with them. Right now you need to take care of yourself, get your rest and heal.
Agreed 💜 and get all the things done she didn’t have time for with their early arrival.
I’ve never had children before, but I am very familiar with the feeling of “I know the future will be okay, but right now does not feel okay.” You are so strong and I hope you and the people around you understand that even though things will be okay, the fact that right now doesn’t feel okay is just as real and valid and raw.
Hey girl! Oh my gosh I wish I could give you a big hug! I've been watching your videos since 7th grade choir class - now I'm 22 and have a beautiful little girl 💕 I know we've never met, but I want you to know that I care about you and your three babies 💕 This must be so hard, right now. This moment. Impossibly hard 😥 wish I was there to help 💕 You're doing amazing mama 💕
Jessica saying “you did it!” and being so proud when she found out the babies were born was the sweetest 🥺❤️
NICU mom here. My son is almost 6 and such a happy, smart, loving little boy. It took me about a year before I could talk about the NICU without crying. It never leaves you, so thank you for bringing more awareness to this. I hope you heal up soon and that the time flies until the babies are home.
Your little precious baby boy looking around while he lays on his momma is just beautiful, you can see his little eyes just taking everything in. Your babies are so strong, just like their mom and dad!
I’m so glad everyone’s safe and healthy !! Thank you for sharing this with us :))
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Smile: "Sweeter"
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Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались.
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You are so beyond strong, my mom had an emergency c section with myself and my twin sister. She said she had sm guilt and felt horrible. But when she took us home and was so emotional and happy. You are doing amazing moma ❤️❤️
I’m sure she would love seeing this comment. I hope she gets to read it. ❣️
My mom literally have the same exact thing with me and my twin sisters. Wee will always be here with you Colleen. BE STRONG
Can you guess this song?! th-cam.com/video/SXnL9xLUV5M/w-d-xo.html
She a super strong lady ❤️
Just like a few other people, my twin and I were an emergency c section too. I had the cord around my neck, which is why I'm the older twin, and I was also only 3lbs when born. We were in the NICU for a while and had jaundice, but we are perfectly healthy and as close as ever:)
Rewatching this again now that the babies are home safe and healthy. I still couldn't help but cry with you, Colleen. I am not a mom so I can't imagine the pain. I am just glad everything is okay now and you get to hold them and be with them as much as you want!
Even though my baby wasn’t premature he had to go to the NICU after having a stroke, unfortunately the hospital I was in didn’t have a NICU and he had to be transported an hour away without me with him and it was absolutely heartbreaking. You are stronger than you think and your emotions are so valid and important. One day you will look back and won’t remember all of the negative feelings and you will remember all the positives and the milestones they reached to make it home. you got this mama♥️
Must be so scary seeing ur baby having a stroke! How is ur baby nowadays? Wishing you and ur baby an amazing life
My baby too, transfer and all ♥️
@@howtooperatewithabrokenmin689 such a scary time but I’m honestly so grateful looking back on it now!
You are so strong, thank you for sharing❤️
Same! My daughter was ambulanced
to another city. It was easily one of the hardest experiences of my life. No mama should have to live through that. But you’re right, we’re so much stronger than we know. We can do incredibly hard things 💪🏽💕
“I’m not pregnant anymore and I’ll NEVER be pregnant again” ALL. THE. FEELS. 🤣😭
1 year later:
Colleen: I’m pregnant
@@abbigailbizz1907 this is so funny i was thinking the same
@@abbigailbizz1907 I think she will be pretty content with 3 kids for awhile lol
I feel like she just Jynx”d herself.
@@abbigailbizz1907 with triplets!
Speaking it into existence: they'll be home before Christmas! The two best Christmas presents ever 💕
And she'll be feeling better then as well! ❤️🎄
@@kitkatemuzz3057 yes!!
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The clip of you recovering in the postpartum room had me crying. Not because I’m a mom and went thru this but because my sister went thru this and called me crying because she was being discharged and my niece had to be all alone in the nicu. It was the most heart breaking thing listening to her having a breakdown because she didn’t want to leave her baby 😭 it was hard trying to think of something to say when I couldn’t relate at all but I just said this was a blessing in disguise knowing you’d get some rest for the first time after being in labor for 36 hours and knowing that she was getting the best possible care. My heart is breaking for you momma but I’m so happy your babies are earth side and doing so well 💕💕💕
"I'm not pregnant. I'll never be pregnant again... I want Inn-n-Out so bad." HIGHLY relatable. 😂 Congratulations, you are amazing!!
You’ve expressed a lot of feelings about the situation: it’s hard, you’re grateful they’re where they need to be, you’re sad they’re where they are, and so many seemingly conflicting feelings. All of them are true! At the same time! What you’re feeling is so so valid. I’m thinking of you and your family and praying that your little ones grow big and strong as quickly as possible. They are so lucky to be so loved by you, your family, and so many people!
Quick and traumatic births are always glazed over with “well it’s over now and you have your baby!” …as if you didn’t just die and I don’t deserve time to digest. Take time heal and know your feelings are valid. Positive vibes.
^^^
All of this, my boy was out of the room and to the NICU so quick,then the atmosphere changed back to normal like nothing happened and I was lay there like wtf.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
My heart!!!! Former NICU mom here crying with you! Thanks for sharing your feelings, tears, and story.
I understand how you feel about leaving the babies. My son was born at 34 weeks and was in the NICU for 3 weeks. I cried in my hospital room for hours because I couldn't see him or hold him. Just know it gets better. Congratulations and hope to see yall home soon!
eric’s “okay take it easy” while colleen is chowing down on In and Out is iconic
I personally liked when he called her an idiot 😂
It’s the hardest thing when they’re in those “clear boxes.. alone and scared” I remember being terrified to touch my daughter, care for her because of all the cords and machines. I thought I was gonna hurt her small, fragile body. Just know you’re not alone and all of us NICU mamas are here for you! We love and support you. You are an amazing mother Colleen! Sending hugs🤍 I hope your babies get to come home soon
I was born a premature baby and I was also in a clear box that is called an incubator
The babies aren’t scared, they are warm and safe and can smell their mama and don’t feel alone. It’s tougher on the parents than the babies
Your comment was so sweet!
DONT WATCH MY RECENT VIDEO
@@Blueberry_Muffinrblx don't worry I wont
Please remember, everyone’s journey is different & how they feel & cope is different and that’s ok. Your feeling are valid, each day is just a stepping stone to the next & before you know it ur bundles of joy will be home, 💖💖💖💖💖
I've had 2 emergency c sections. I'm trying not to cry while I write this. I was pregnant with my first the same time as you and it was awful. It was a complete shock and I was miserable. I also had prenatal depression without realizing and some medical problems. You were the first person I saw who shared those experiences. You helped me through my pregnancy and gave me hope when you gave birth 4 months before me. My first birth was very traumatic and even though my second was also an emergency c section and definitely not what I intended, I was open to the possiblity and not in shock when it happened. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It truly helps us cope and feel like we aren't alone. C sections are hard but you will heal and this will pass. You are strong. Thank you Colleen.
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You are so strong, thank you for sharing❤️
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My mom was actually a NICU/PICU nurse way back in the day. I can’t imagine what you’re going through BUT I do know that if your nurses and doctors are anything like my mom, they are in the best hands possible right now and they will be home, where they belong, with you guys soon! Sending love from VA ❤️
I didn’t think i would get so emotional. this made me break down in tears, holy, when you said “They’re in boxes, clear boxes, alone and scared”, that really hit, the pain and sorrow in your voice broke me, we love you Coleen. You are strong, inspiring and wonderful, we love you.
Absolutely
6:17 This made me go and hug my mom. I appreciate you sharing this with us because I don't know the feelings of being a mother, but this definitely puts it into perspective. So, thank you for showing this raw moment in your life. Stay strong mama
I can't charlendotsim I'm with Colleen at the hospital
I have to give props to Bailey. Some kids would have been mad and sad that they have to share their birthday but she was great about it👏🙂 Such an amazing girl💗 Happy birthday to you and happy birthday to the twins. SOO EXCITED 😍
ikr!! lowkey i was one of those kids hahaha but the whole family’s dynamic is just great and i wouldn’t have expected any other response from her 💕💕
I kept thinking about Bailey when the psychic said the twin girl will be more serious or private- I hope they will be close as the *girls* of the cousins and didn’t realize they ended up with the same birthday 🎉💜
omg ikr
Nike Decke I would’ve been sooo happy😁😁😁
She's 14 and she's the niece not a daughter so she probably doesn't care
You don't have to apologize for not being just happy. You can feel heartbroken. You suffered an emotional loss. It's the time, the memories and the feeling right after birth you miss and that is totally fine🙂 We love you and accept you, all of you❤💗 I'm sending much love to you and the twins
Jessica's face after Colleen told them she'd had the babies was priceless
Jesus loves you:)
Yeah it was so cute
Oh yes! That was the most honest and surprised reaction!! I love the bond Colleen and Jessica share❤️
Her sister-in-law's face was like your profile pic🤣💕
@@jesussavedme6260 what has that got to do with anyrhing right now? Not everyone is religious and it's just rude to push your religion like this when it's not even the topic of conversation.
Colleen, first I want to thank you for being so open about the negative emotions. My son was born emergency csection at 26 weeks. He spent 7 months in the NICU due to difficulty eating, a brain bleed which lead to a hemorrhage and oxygen dependency. He made slow progress, had many surgeries, and my heart broke every day because I felt like I should have been able to protect him until birth. He proved after being born at 1lb 15oz that he is so strong. Your babies have more strength than you know & you are doing amazing already. Our NICU nurses loved and wanted parent participation as soon as it was safe. I was also told that it would be a rollercoaster right after his birth. Some great days and some not great days. So if you ever fall into that situation know you are not alone. Also, see if you’re comfortable or would like help talk to your hospital social worker or NICU staff can get you connected with a therapist. Mine jumped for me and I was able to be connected throughout our NICU stay with one and I have one post NICU as well. PTSD from the trauma of an Emergency C-Section can sneak up on you. Also, NICU experience alone is trauma and you deserve to know all your resources.
Also, I cannot imagine the pain of leaving your baby at home to fight for and with your new babies.
I can’t imagine how difficult this has been but you did it, girl. You brought these babies as far as you could, they came out when they needed to, and now the doctors are there to make sure they are safe and healthy. You have done something amazing and we are so proud of you. They will be in your arms soon, sweetie. Stay strong. We are here for you ❤️✨
You are so kind
Beautiful reply, couldn't have said it better xxx
That’s so kind I hope you are ok!
My brother had a 5% change of living when he was born, spent his first year in the hospital, and first three years on a feeding tube and all. He’s 23, and just graduated college and got engaged. Time flies even when it’s hard. Really really hard.
Colleen! It is okay to mourn not being able to have all of the “regular” birth things, like not having your babies with you, not to mention all of the things that come with them being in the nicu.
I’m a nicu nurse, I meet moms like you every day that I work, you mamas are the STRONGEST and most admirable I have ever seen.
I know that it’s hard to be away from them right now, if there is anything that you can do to help yourself and them the most is focus on your recovery so that as the babies become more able to be held and cared for by you, you can fully be with them .
I am so so sorry that you have had to experience nicu mom life, I really would not
Wish it on anyone.
Mourn how you can, focus on recovering and then do what you can for your babies.
I love you guys, I’ve watched you for forever, i wish for you guys the best
I felt that way with my son. I still feel that way. I want so badly to be able to have a normal pregnancy and birth. We may have more because my specialist said I can, but I'm scared I will get preeclampsia again and have to go through a C-section again.
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When my daughter was born my husband took her into the nursery so I could take a nap. I couldn't sleep, I just kept smelling her hat and crying. Thinking about how she was so close, but so far. I cannot imagine the NICU experience. You are all so, so strong! So happy for all of those beautiful moments you're spending together ❤️
I totally understand how she feels not having her babies with her. My son being in the NICU was the hardest thing. Having to leave the hospital without him broke me. It feels so wrong to be without this tiny baby you just grew and gave birth to. 💔 But I promise the day you bring them home will be the happiest day ever. Hang in there mama, you're doing great. 💕
Beautifully said. ❤️💙💜💙❤️
This was amazing 🥺🥺💖
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That was beautiful 🥺🤍
Sorry for what happened to you you didn't deserve it glad your doing good ❤
I’m so proud of Colleen.. Ive seen her whole pregnancy, all the crying and frustration, the laughing, how strong she stayed and how good she was to Flynn even when she wasn’t at her best.. Now seeing her holding her twins, it was so worthy. OMG I’m so happy for her. SHE DID THAT,
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I’m so proud of Colleen also!!!
Oh my gosh! Colleen!!!! You've just had TWINS and you're working so hard to keep us in the loop! You're so selfless, girl! Such precious lil baby angels! Take good care of yourself and you take ALL the time you need for yourself and your family. However long it takes. You're amazing 💝
"It's really kinda shitty" ♡ love your candid and raw honesty. Your wonderful and so glad to see your family is whole.
I’m not a mom myself but reading everyone’s comments - wow y’all are amazing people!
Ikr?? So uplifting and caring people ❤️
My heart absolutely broke for you not being able to see them. When my son was born, he had fluid in his lungs so they rushed him out of the room. I had all kinds of people coming in saying how cute he was (they saw him in the nursery) and I couldn’t see him because I was still recovering from the epidural. It was absolutely heartbreaking. Hang in there sweetheart! You are so strong, so beyond proud of you! Congratulations on your sweet babies
I feel like we are all family, I just wanna hug you Colleen...
I'm crying like a fool..
Eric, is such a wonderful daddy..
Baby boy already looking around at this new world and loving his parents, baby girl will probably out grow her big brother in no time!!! May GOD bless you all!!
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6:44….i cried with you, you’re such a good mom! Natural feelings of a mom being away from her babies. I know this feeling too. my son’s nicu stay was short lived but it wasn’t easy!
Same - it’s proof she’s a great mom
When my twin and I were born, we were also in the NICU. I'm sure it was terrifying for my parents because we were their first kids, but my dad (always the comedian) called our NICU boxes our own little "condos." He wanted to be with us but he jokes to this day that no room was nicer than that one! I know it's hard to see them in there but I promise they are comfy and waiting to snuggle with you ❤️
SAME! Although my twin didn't make it that far to make it to the NICU so it was just me, for two weeks
@aing asu what the fuck
being away from my baby girl was the absolute worst part of giving birth for me.. they took her away just to do her hearing test and whatnot, but every minute that passed not having her in my arms was extremely traumatizing. I cried the entire time and wanted to scream at the staff 😓 it's just best to remember that it'll pass and you'll have them all to yourself soon. Again I'm so proud of you Colleen. You're such a freakin rockstar.
I just had my daughter a month ago and I was going to say the same thing they just took her way to do her hearing test but I watched the clock waiting for her to come back every minute was terrible
@@Emivibes96 it really was horrible. especially considering the fact that they told me they just had to get her weight, and she was gone getting all kinds of things done for the better part of an hour ☹ super upsetting.. i haven't wanted a second away from her since I got her back that day lol.
@@lovelycampbell oh my gosh she was only gone for maybe 15 minutes but still super hard and then I got blood clots in my leg from going from being pregnant to not being pregnant 2 weeks after she was born and had to leave her with my husband for 3 days while I was at the hospital the hardest situation I’ve ever had to go through
@@Emivibes96 I'm so sorry! 😞 I'm fortunate enough that I had an easy labor, no complications.. I got to the hospital around 1pm, had her at 8pm, and we were able to take her home around 9pm the next day. She just turned 2 months 2 days ago. It literally feels like all of this happened yesterday 😭
NICU mom here: first of all, congrats! I almost cried when watching the birth video, I’ve been following you since you were pregnant with Flynn (had my first born on Dec 21/2018), so seeing you now with the pregnancy of your twins has been incredible.
My son had some complications when he was born, so he was taken immediately to the NICU, I got to hold him for like 5 seconds before that. I saw him like 10 hours after he was born, and only because I kept asking for him, because no one would say anything (it was a really serious thing). I’m usually not emotional about things, but I got to share my room with another new mom and it killed me to hear her next to me getting to feed her newborn, hearing the nurses guide her through everything, etc etc. My baby boy had to spend almost 2 months in the NICU, the first month was the hardest because he wasn’t able to breathe on his own and that was the main thing we were waiting for (he was more than full term), the second month was easy since he was healthy and we were making sure there was nothing out of the ordinary.
During all this time I had to find some type of silver lining to avoid depression and the fact that I spent the whole day in a place surrounded by sad faces, and this was it: I had the opportunity to get as much sleep as possible while recovering from the birth, when it was time for me to take care of him all day long in the hospital I was a 100% ready, he had his naps and feedings well scheduled, so it also made it easy when I was finally able to bring him home, and he had no problem when the time came to breastfeed, he actually ditched any other type of feeding once he began (that made me feel as if we recovered some time that had been lost). I know is not much, but that was something that really helped me through the whole thing, and knowing it would all be behind us once he got out of there, that I’d get to spend a whole life watching him grow and that would be nothing compared to the days/months he was in the NICU.
Right now he’s as happy as can be, I’m expecting my second baby on March and I’m hoping I’ll get to experience a normal birth.
thank you so much for sharing, you are super woman! and congratulations on your march baby ❤️
I really hope she reads this. This is wonderful ❤️
Wishing you and your baby a good birth experience. ❤️
Colleen's maternal instinct is strong. I remember having my son in the NICU and not being able to hold him after he was born. It was painful. Your body wants to be with that baby that you've been caring and nurturing for the time that they were inside of your body. Massive amounts of hormones are flowing through your body to create that bond & make milk for the baby.