I transitioned (not medically, because I couldn't afford it, but socially) for 5 years and have since detransitioned, and I don't regret it one bit. I learned so much about myself and the world and ultimately I accepted the fact that I feel like my gender is too fluid to pin down. Sometimes I feel male, sometimes I feel female, most times I feel like both or neither. I honestly just learned that gender isn't as important as we make it out to be and I don't care what gender I am or what people call me. I'm me!
Exactly! Never regret becoming who you are and feeling good inside your body. Ever. That’s one of the most empowering things a person can do for themselves. My family is not so supportive either and my own mother has said terrible things to me. Just always have to remember that we’re the ones who live with ourselves inside ourselves everyday. We’re doing this for us!!
hey Ashton,this video meant a lot to me. I came out when I was 17(?),I'm 22 now..I pass and pre everything. but I had gotten to this point where the ridicule and things that people made me feel and would say made me feel I had to settle. settle being stuck in a place looking at a face that doesn't have hair,wanting so much I know that I will have when on injections. I felt like I was doing so much to make others comfortable..I was reaching out to anyone I could asking for a place to stay just to find a good environment to really live my life. it's been a week now since I made up my mind and going thru 100% no more hesitation from people trying to hold me down,my mother has agreed to help me pay for my therapy,even gave me opinion on a middle name to pick. I am hoping to start therapy in December or January,God willing since I'm moving. I'm so excited..this is the beginning of many beautiful things..to finally be comfortable. I can't wait to have my top surgery as well. just overwhelmed with happiness.
It's very interesting hearing my story coming out of someone else's mouth. It is nice to hear that someone else addresses this. I, too, thunk about the potential regret. But here I am, four years later into my medical transition, and I forget sometimes I am even transgender. Not a single regret. I would regret not transitioning. I would probably be dead.
Eron Stark For months of my life I was exactly where you are now. Don't forget that courage takes developing. I used to be too afraid to start. “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ― Anaïs Nin
Eron Stark I've known 100% I wanted to transition since I was 10 years old. And I knew I could start when I was 18, yet I waited until I was 20 because I felt as though I wasn't ready yet. Of course, now that I am eargerly waiting for this dreary process to be over so I can finally start to T and stuff I wish I had started earlier but deep down I know, I wouldn't have been emotionally rady step up to then plate then like I can now. Sometimes you just need a little bit of time.
+Eron Stark I'm exactly the same, I'm too scared to transition :( scared I'll end up alone, that nobody would ever fall in love with me and that i'll never pass. These are the things that hold me back.
I'm 5 ft 3 ain't nobody telling me what I can or can't do. My height bothers me sometimes, but, I'm still anxious to start my transition. I pass, but, does height really matter?
No sir Heights does not matter because what they don't understand that you're the tallest and the strongest person in the room emotionally and physically even though it doesn't register on a tape measure but you can't register someone's great Soul, goodness power and self worth...😇😊😁
I am Native American, don't know if you have ever known our views on transgender people, it is very different than the Christian religions. Thought you might like to read about it. I think you look amazing and I am just sad that your family doesn't understand the concepts of two spirited people. Stay strong. www.theguardian.com/music/2010/oct/11/two-spirit-people-north-america
BeAcH ReAlM I am familiar with the concept of two spirited people. My mom is actually the only person who isn't supportive in my family. It's a shame because my great grandmother on her side is full Cherokee. Thanks for the article.
You're just a handsome being and watching your transition video made me emotional. Emotional because you you mentioned that you had the option of being your true self, or to end your life. I'm glad that you have improved your quality of life by doing what makes you happy. Dude you're awesome!! Stay awesome!
Ashton, your videos have helped me so much. I'm also not the tallest (5'3"). Like you were, I am a pretty girl on the outside, and the number one thing people tell me is that I will regret my decision because I am a pretty girl. They don't understand that it has nothing to do with physical attractiveness. I've scheduled my first gender therapy appointment for the 11th. My therapist is trans himself and he's already offered to help me look for doctors in my area and get the hormone therapy. Coming out to my friends, family, and strangers I hardly knew was a huge step for me, and your videos helped me do it. I've had an extremely positive reaction as well though: my mom, while not eager for this, gave me money for male clothes and gave me her support, my close friends started calling me by the new name I chose, and encouraged me to be open and find my own happiness. Thank you.
Messages like this are exactly why I make videos on this channel!! :) I am so proud of you for having the courage to advocate for yourself and meet with a gender therapist. Keep pushing forward in whatever way you feel is best for you. If you have any topics that you think I should cover I am compiling a list of topics people have asked for and will make them one at a time.
Thank you for the support. I'm a new watcher of yours so you may have covered this one before: how you dealt with the long wait before and after you started transitioning. I know we all deal with it differently, I was just curious what it was like for you. :) Otherwise your videos are very informative and encouraging. I'm glad you have the courage to be yourself despite what other people say and think. Your courage helped me more than I can possibly say.
Wow. Those words of you saying about you looking into the camera and see this man, yourself, and having that moment. That is exactly how I feel. I hate when my family, especially my mom, picks fights about me being transgender. She gets so angry and starts crying. It hurts me not because she doesn't accept but because she doesn't see me for who I truly am and that it causes her to cry. I wish she would just understand where I am coming from. I'm a very shy person, and my therapist is trying to get me out of that stage of being shy, but its still hard. My steps to becoming transitioned are like extreme baby steps. My mom gets angry and says that my therapist isn't helping me and that I need to see a new one. She always claims that she knows me, obviously she doesn't. Because its not my therapists fault, its mine. And I can't tell her anything that she is wrong about or she gets angry and fights and says negative things about me being transgender. She's very abusive. And its hard to get away from it. Seeing this videos put a little tears in my eyes because I felt the same and now I have the words to express myself. You took the words right out of my mouth. (: I watch people videos about them transitioning, and it helps me little by little, whether its a tip on how to pass or on packing or binding or just words that can get someone through the day. They all help in one way or another. I am very thankful for every trans person out there for not only me but other trans people that are shy and not educated about being trans. thank you to all of you! :) Smile! :) Dustin
I'm very proud of you. Keep being who you are, don't let anyone try to tell who you are with there own regrets. You are a true gift to life and being the man you are. Congrats and more power to you.
People often don't realize that their lack of ability or want to understand a family member's or loved ones personal struggles can be extremely hurtful and even harmful. Ignorance is a taught behavior. When they know better, they'll do better. My hope for you is that they see how happy and at peace you are within yourself and in your skin and that'll encourage them to be open to education but most importantly to be open minded, accepting, loving and proud of the person you are. I do not share your same battle. But I do know what courage, strength, faith and determination it takes to live your truth despite people's opinions and criticism. I very much admire what it took for you and so many others to do what was right. It takes being brave and bold. From just this video I think you are an incredible man and human being. This video was posted over a year ago, so I'm doubtful you'll even see my long babbled comment lol. But maybe others will and I hope they gain the realization that there is acceptance out there, that the world is changing for the better. May be a slow change, but its changing. So hold on to that hope, as its not false. Continue your fight. Everyone deserves to be confident, happy and comfortable being exactly who they are. You'll prevail in the end! And I know many will gain the drive and the courage to listen to their hearts and do what is in their best interest from watching your video and videos like it. I hope life has and will only continue to get sweeter for you. :)
Congrats with your amazing transition. And for being happy and in synch with your inner yourself. I hope this gives courage to more young people.You can be proud of yourself.
Ashton : You are absolutely right, NOBODY can tell you what you are going to regret, once you know what you truly are and what you want and aware of your responsibilities : IT IS ON. I moved from Mexico to California to set up my boundaries to my family and close friends, I had to, because they didn't want me to be ME. That didn't make sense to me, so I moved to America, I did my transition and I came back to my family, one by one, and now they respect my choices, the only thing I would regret would be doing just what they told me to do with myself. Keep it up Ashton. You are a super cool man.
if your not regretting it, then that is all that matters. people always have something to say, and its most often on subjects they know nothing about...you look great and seem really happy..big hug to you
I find it funny how your family (and possibly friends) talk about "You're gonna be pretty short for a guy, there's no way you'd pass as a man" when there are plenty of "short" cis men out there, including my high school sweetheart who was 5'5" all throughout high school and is just barely 5'6" at his full adult height. Like, do they think that someone should lose their "man card" if they're under 6' as full-grown adults or some nonsense like that?
I'm not trans however I am about to go through a surgery that will hopefully change my life and I've been very nervous throughout the process of this last year, and very, very nervous about the upcoming months. I've thought of just kind of giving up and .. Living as I am but your words were very inspiring. About being the person you see in your mind. Thank you for inspiring me, even though what I will change is not nearly as difficult or as intense as you, it is still something that makes me very insecure. I appreciate this all.
+Danny Plata I'm really glad my experience could give you some help. I hope everything goes well with your surgery. You will never make the "wrong" decision if you keep trust in yourself. You are the only person who knows what is truly best for you. :)
This is so inspiring! It's important to keep in mind, that we as a society should squash the notion that we will regret our transitions; I don't think anyone should be allowed to put that fear in a trans individual, because it's obvious that they are not doing it out of genuine concern that you're actually going to regret it..But more-so because they're hoping they'll be capable of scaring you out of transition. It seems to be a bit more of a bogus, passive-aggressive attempt, at that. I personally think that once an individual has seen a gender therapist, and they've been "okay-ed" for hormone replacement therapy, no one should ever utter a word to that person about their transition, unless it's in a positive and supportive light. That'd certainly be an ideal reality, huh? Anyway, *I am so proud of you,* for always standing your ground despite what others say. You're definitely a great role model for other trans individuals whom face negativity like this. You're a really great example of the fact that only a very small minority of people regret their transition, or cease to fully transition. I hope you continue making videos that really make a difference in the lives of others!
As far as regret or remorse goes, I think others are the reason for those thoughts. They make you question your actions. I have regretted decisions mostly when someone asks "why in the world did you do that? This is what you needed to do. Period. I am so glad you are happy
Wow. this is crazy im seeing this so late. SOO late. but dang, I hope all is well. its always got me. because im straight man, but is it okay for me to say you are an attractive man? like honestly watching you have that moment made me happy to be able to see somebody who could be happy in seeing progression in themselves. like everybody is stuck nowadays in this rut they are in, basically our society as a whole.. because people just want to hate. The more people hate and the more jealous people get by seeing the happiness others can and have achieved just makes them even more anger and bitter. And so people feel like they have to be superior, and show it off. Bashing gender, race, age, wealth, ability to speak, write.. like what does it all matter? You do you! let them do them.. and if them is worrying about you then as long as you are the only one who makes your own decisions then they can try to change you all they want. but it aint gonna happen. :) I just wish more people could be like you, and be open to change and be open to becoming themselves.. because its okay. What is not right is for people to be scared.. to be scared of an opinion. an opinion that is shared by a group of people, not by ALL people. It is one good thing to know to that there really is always someone out there who loves you! family, friend, or stranger. Straight gay bi trans black white mixed 12 or 37 or 59. there is somebody. Strive to be yourself because when people are looking to change you.. no matter how much change comes from you they will never be happy because they are unhappy with themselves. I love you all! as the straightest non racist white american individual. ALL.
+James Thebeau :) You are correct. We are living in a culture of scarcity (read of some Brene Brown's books, she has been very helpful in explaining the concepts you are talking about). We are shaming each other for being different because we live in such a culture of lack. We think there is not enough love or resources to go around when really there is enough for everyone. With this culture of scarcity we have little or no empathy for others because we are only worried about getting our own needs met but no realizing it is not me against them. We ARE in this together and there is enough love, food, etc. for everyone if we realize that and become conscious enough to work together for are inherent "oneness".
They are simply scared for you and for themselves because uncertainty (for them) is scary, and also because they love you. But you are going your own way, as everyone is. Nobody can live your life for you, so be honest with yourself and with them. And when they see you blossom, they will be reassured and lose their fears. From a Dad to a Son. Love
Ashton - I would like to preface this by stating that you are very handsome. I am so glad that you posted this video. I sincerely hope that eventually your family and those that have repeatedly stated:"You're going to regret this", will see that you are a brighter, happier and better version of your former self. You look and sound A-1. Good for you. Silence your detractors.
It doesn't matter what they say. They wouldn't understand unless they're in your shoes. You need to focus on what makes you happy and you'll prove them wrong when you're on the other end of all this. From the sound if it you won't regret this as you seem to have it together and it makes you happy! Good luck, bud!
Awesome video! My dad told me, "Let people tell you you can't do something then go and prove them wrong." From what I can see in the context of your video, that's exactly what you've done.
Thanks for sharing your experience, I'm coming out now and this is one of the hardest things to hear: "you're gonna regret it". stay strong and true to yourself
ohhh... thank you, TH-cam "related videos", and thank you Ashton for making this video. I was just now going down a very negative rabbit-hole of crazy-ftmz-W0W... I don't go near that kind of stuff - and actually have not really seen most content on youtube about transition (I transitioned 12 or so years ago - before YT even existed! which is really strange to realize)... Anyway. I wanted to escape and saw yer mug in the Related videos and clicked on it. .... There are always going to be a few crazies in any bunch (and I realize that you won't know what/who I'm referring to, which is probably best for all concerned), but the sweet, smart folkx are the ones who have always kept my spirit ablaze... So I know nothing more about you than this one lovely proclamation of you becoming who you are, but it was a MUCH-NEEDED and MOST-WELCOME tonic. You are - I can tell, from just 5 minutes! - a sweet soul, and I congratulate you on knowing who you were, going past the hurtful nasty comments (I get it; I got 'em), and becoming your authentic self. Love!
That sucks that your family members have said negative things to you. I think it's fantastic that you're doing something that makes you feel good and that you're being your real self. I like your "moment" with yourself. :) Thanks for the inspiring video! This is going on my Favorites list.
You seem like an awesome person, and it seems like it's really made you happy- which is all that matters, in the end. :-) I think that, no matter what choices you make, there are always going to be people who are not 'happy' with them, and will tell you that you'll regret them simply because that's how THEY feel. So continue doing what makes you feel happiest, and hopefully one day they can come to terms with it.
thanks for this video, from someone who's still waiting to start (sigh) and has been getting lot of this shit recently from close friends. your video touched me :)
Marix C You're not alone. This may be the hardest time but it is the most temporary time. The people that love you for you and want to know you genuinely for your heart will support you in becoming more yourself. Its hard when you can't control the relationships and the people around you in how they react but just know you don't deserve to have anyone make you feel bad for needing to transition.
Marix C Being made to feel bad about a decision is not always a bad thing. I think the thing to do is try to differientiate between the mean-spirited attacks and the concerned, love-filled inquiries and suggestions. In the end, it is YOUR decision, but I believe vilifying those who love you just because they are afraid that you are making a mistake is unfair to them and it is unfair to you. If you had a good friend who was about to commit suicide, would you just let them, or would you do everything you could to counsel them to live? Well, to your friends and family, someone that they love very much is about to die--the other-gendered part of you! Before they see that person die so the new you can live, they need to know for sure that they have given that other you every chance at life. It is a very natural response. I am just saying that you should fight for your relationships and sometimes that means actually listening to and hearing them as much as you want them to hear you. I hope that came our right...
In 20 years of being around Trans people I have only know 1 who has had any regrets. So personally and professionally I don't see you ever regretting anything but just the opposite. You'll love yourself more because you're free to be who you really are not that fake persona that was there before. Peace and love.
Thanks for the video, friend and I'm sorry to hear about the hardships you've been put through by others imposing their narrow ideas on you! I've been on T for almost 5 yrs now and don't regret this choice either. The sad thing is that people used to shame me for my body while I was still living as a female because I looked too masculine for them. As soon as I properly started passing, things were suddenly fine with them... One more thing I'd like to say is that it's really a shame you had to say in advance that people need to watch the whole thing so that they don't post negative comments going just by the title of the video: it just shows how narrow-minded and restricted a lot of trans people are themselves for not allowing any deviation from the "normal" trans narrative!
I'm at that point now, where I'm having people tell me that. I understand so well, I don't have the words to say. This really hit me in the feels. I'm worried I may never be able to do it, for either medical or financial reasons. I'd like to have hope for the future (and videos like these really help), but it seems so bleak. Every day it's a fight with my body image, self, and everyone around me. I KNOW who I am, like you and many others and it just hurts so much to have to argue and fight with people who try to tell you otherwise, as if THEY know what it's like to live in our body. I even see this in the comments here, and it's a struggle. I feel absolutely obligated to be an advocate for all of us, but it's so hard. The problem is, the stress is severely degrading the quality of my life. I wish I could just easily transmit my thoughts and feelings into something global where everyone would just KNOW; I am terrible at speaking because I'm autistic, so making a video would be hard, but I have so many words on this! I could honestly go on forever to everyone with their negative comments, I have so much to teach. The main reason is I don't want anyone else to suffer like me. I want people who don't know why they feel "weird" or don't fit in, follow silly gender stereotypes or whatever combo of things to know that this real, this is a thing. I didn't know my whole growing life that I could've been happy. If only I had known about hormone blockers before puberty; that my parents, doctors, therapists, school counselors, psychiatrists could've known about this and put the pieces together why I was so unhappy. Hell, I even straight up SAID constantly, "I don't wanna be a girl, I'm not a stupid girl, I'm not a lady, I don't want anything to do with any of this." I was furious, consistent and adamant about not wanting anything to do with females (body/gender role) since I was a toddler. I'm sure my parents were so ashamed they ignored it and continued to police me into the gender they wanted, but it's hard to ignore someone saying this for 20 years. Even today, with my own voice, knowledge and discovery of myself, they don't believe me. I was bullied ruthlessly for apparently not even being a human. "WHAT ARE YOU? WHAT IS THAT THING? IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?" comments constantly while puberty fought with me. Even multiple suicide attempts and it's "faking, being dramatic, martyr, cry for attention, phase/fad, etc." never even acknowledging there was a problem, asking me what's wrong or how to fix it. Then again, how am I to know what's wrong when I don't even know there's a name for what's wrong with me? This is a huge problem. Hence why I feel the need to be an advocate 24/7. This was a great video, thank you so much for sharing and putting your voice out there for those who can't.
Divine Light Your message is really important to me. I really hope that you continue to do what you can to live the best life for you. You seem like a very caring and aware person. It is really hard sometimes, even for me, but you are already doing the work, just keep at it the best you can. You seem like you know exactly who you are. That is the most valuable thing anyone can have. No one can take that away from you.
You're honest, caring & realistic. Inspiration springs out of people & spreads where it needs to go to... so Thanks for your channel & vids. At the pre-HRT stage of my journey (mtf) your heartfelt advice is re-assuring as we all need to listen & learn from each other to make our transition the happiest phase of our lives, so that everying after is built on real self-trust & joy :o) You're awesome...keep on being so..!
I think alot of people find it hard to take one seriously when it comes to things like this because its a major life decision that you cant fully take back, and they are concerned the one thinking of doing it may not have thought it through fully. Unfortunately, some people really do make big decisions they regret all the time, and want to take then back but cant. Its a rare person who makes a life changing decision he or she will never regret because he or she was serious enough and thought it through carefully. Rarer, still, that one could make a decision like this at a young age. So I understand THAT part of it. However, I was one of those people who made a life changing decision at 12 years old, and have not regretted or gone back at all. I know for certain people CAN make life choices at this age but most people really dont think things through like that. So I get that side too. But I think this is a major factor in why so many people think one will regret a choice such as this. Aside from that, youre freaking adorable and have such a sweet face and demeanor.
You are a beautiful person. This video speaks to so many people, it's inspiring to see. And I must say, you are quite attractive, you also seem to have a nice energy.
I was watching a couple of You tube vids and I came across your account. I'm glad I did! You inspire me ;) You have a lot of gut, and strength to physically change your appearance especially from female to male. You're extremely brave. If it feels right do it. Keep going, never look back. You're a good looking male. I personally believe it's inside what counts - Personality is important too and u certainly have one. I like. :) You're awesome! Good luck Ashton!
I havent been on FTM journey long to regret. I still need to restart testosterone. Im still researching FTM related procedures. I have a male mind. And just want my body to be aligned.
I think you knew exactly what you wanted and other people in your family are just afraid to lose the female version of you, they don't want you to change. They don't understand that it's still going to be you! I think you're super good looking, most people don't care about your height. I don't think I've ever not dated someone or spoke to them because they weren't 6 feet tall, that's ridiculous. You know what? How about "You be You!" It looks great in you and you're certainly super confident about yourself. Love the beard, it's pretty sexy.
Ashton, you seem like an extremely grounded and thoughtful guy. Not to mention super handsome and hot! Height won't matter when you look like you do! Stay cool, and don't let all the haters get to you. I'm subbing.
It's good that u know what u want and were sure u wanted to transition. I think they were only saying those things to try and talk u out of transitioning. Your a very cute guy and it's a good thing u stayed that way ;)!
Im really young. I'm 12.... And i want to transition MtF. Any tips on how to get started and for my parents to understand? I haven't even told them yet. But ever since i was in 5 i felt like i was in a wrong body. Also my religion doesn't accept transexuals. I'm a muslim, but im sorta transitioning to athiest~ anything can help me out. Thank you. :D
I think that no one regrets becoming more themselves. If they regretted it it maybe because of surgery complications that any surgery can have or still living in a society that is dangerous for Trans people: mentally, physically. Yeah, I can understand pain around transition and wishing never having to have had to do it but no one does this that doesn't have to.
I'm glad you were honest with yourself. I hear a lot of people want to return back. There's a lot of LGBT that are totally against this.... It's YOUR BODY! You have every right to change your mind. Then these doctors are quick to give you hormones and surgery just to make a buck! Not asking about how you truly feel.
i dont why i always feel like i will regret it and i always have doubts that i wish would stop, i havent regretted cutting my hair very short or wearing masculine clothes, i love it ! so i dont know why but its like something in my mind is not leaving me alone and telling me im not really trans or im ot gonna transition
Genma Shiranui You can just continue to try things that work for you. Wearing new clothes, new haircut, you could wear a chest binder just to try it out, get a packer for your pants, things like that just to see how you feel. There is no rush. You're allowed to just try things out and see if they work. You don't have to get surgery or take hormones to be trans.
BE STRONG! And I know you are. I know they are family, but you are just being you. It is not normal to change your gender but it is just you. Someday, hopefully, they'll learn how to respect, appreciate and love us LGBT.
I love this video. I just skimmed through responses. Some made me **face palm** You are gorgeous! You seem like a seriously lovely guy! Looking at you I can't imagine you as a female. Keep on keepin' on :-)
My dad warned me that some people that transition to male regret it later. He didn't specifically tell me that I would regret it, which is awesome, but he did say that my mom was afraid that if I transitioned I would regret it. He also said that she thinks 13 years old is too young to make a life-changing decision. He wants me to think about it for another month... I'm halfway into that month and I am having no doubts at all. I didn't have any doubts before the month. I've never had any doubts. My dad's and mom's greatest fear is my grandma, and I'm actually pretty scared, too. See, our whole family is Christian, but my grandma is extremely right wing. My parents and my siblings and I are middle wing, I guess you could call it, but my grandma is so right wing, she... ...I can't think of anything to put here. But with Christianity on top of her conservativeness, she may ignore me for a few years, or forever. ;-;
Kevin Dysart Jesus was the most liberal person history has ever seen, but seriously, why such hurry? you are 13, I cant thing of a single decision that I made when I was your age that I dont regret now, I cant even imagine if I had the chance to make a huge decision like that at that age.
***** Neurobiologists would disagree with you that people at 13 are too young to understand their gender identity. I'm sure you knew exactly what your gender was at 13 and still identify as such so why would it be so shocking that someone else to know the same?
Ashton Colby at 13 you are not even capable of driving or drinking, you are not even old enough to decide to have a tattoo because its for life, you might even struggle with the decision of having to take care of a dog, then why the hell would it be mature enough to make such huge decision like changing your genitals forever? Even if you really are TG it doesnt mean that the best course of action for you in particular is to transition or have SRS, you are too young to understand the severity and the responsibility of those actions, many real TG are very happy with being pre-op or non-transitional even when they desired their whole lives to be post op, when they meet other post-op who are HONEST and tell them all that having this done implies, the dangers, the daily routine, the constant pills and medication every single day, Loosing their sensitivity, loosing their sex drive, loosing their orgasm, having phantom limb syndrome, the hygiene problem, the danger of meeting partners, domestic abuse, the fact that you might not transition well, die of blood loss after surgery, or you might not entirely pass as the other gender. At 13 you are not able to comprehend what most of this means to be able to make a decision. Kid has his whole life ahead to think about it, dont become another Leela Alcorn.
(cont...) and the sad truth is that after going through all that he will still feel like a man trapped in a woman's body, because the problem is in his mind.
if you want to be yourself, stay who you are. f you're a woman stay being a woman and if you're a man , stay being a man not to change your sex and say "i am who i am"
+Risky Bisky Treating gender dysphoria is not elective for trans people who need to transition. If your gender dysphoria is bad enough, it can end your life. Because gender dysphoria is something that happens in the mind, and many people don't understand it, perhaps even someone you respect has given you the idea that it is a choice to have gender dysphoria, you've made the reasonable conclusion that gender dysphoria is something people should be able to choose to live with untreated. I wish that were the truth but it is far from it.
riskybisky:You're missing the point. People that are going through this do not feel or identify with their sex. It's torture for them. Can't you feel this person's joy at being what he's become?
I'm going to think about this more when I'm 16, 17. I want to wait till I'm actually ready to do the transition because I'm not sure yet if I want to and I have no idea what my friends and family would think of me. They may or may not know because I may have shown signs when I was little that I maybe trans. I always hung out with boys and acted like one. I wanted to play with action figures and wear guy clothes. Now that I'm older I'm not quite sure. I always choose male over female but with my friends I choose female so I fit in. I stopped hanging out with boys and I've became a shy, insecure person. I don't like fancy dresses. I'll admit I draw mustaches on my face before I take a shower. I wear baggy clothes and don't care. Of course I don't like it when my hair is messy or if I have something on my face. I talk a lot like a girl though. Once my friends brought up transgender (they aren't) and I went like ooook. I'm not into girls though. I'm strait so I'm into guys of course. I want to look at the make clothes at the store. When I was little I wished upon a star to be a boy. I like being a girl, but I'd sure like being a guy. Am I trans? Help me.... If I was would I technically be gay for liking guys? This is getting pretty long so bye.
Jacob Knight You don't have to figure everything out right this moment. Everyday you become more of the person you are meant to be even if at first it doesn't seem like it. I can't tell you if you are trans, no one can. That may seem up helpful but the thing is you have to keep in mind that even with the possible negative things people might think or say the only person's opinion that matters is yours. I made a video about some of my feelings on this subject How I Knew I Was Transgender To answer your other question though there are gay trans men. Sexuality and gender are two different things so don't stress yourself out about your sexuality needed to be something in order to transition.
you're young and if you don't KNOW that you are male in your brain, then don't transition until/if you do. At your age people feel all kinds of things, and have all kinds of hormones running around in their bodies. Liking something or thinking you'd like it doesn't mean that you ARE that thing. Sounds like you are very confused, and also into pleasing your friends, so you pretend to like things they like so you fit in, which isn't being true to yourself but it's difficult at your age. Being transgender doesn't mean you like girls, or like guys. It has NOTHING to do with sexual preference, AT ALL. And next time your friends bring up transgender, perhaps you could point them to some videos or books (that you could read yourself too) to educate them, because you saying "ook" about it makes it sound as if you are disgusted by it (because you want your friends to think you are? because they are?). Watch vids, read books, go see a counselor, that is my advice friend.
Uh I know I’m like 4 years late but you sound a lot like me. I’m 17 and I just recently realized I’m trans ftm and also gay. At first I thought I wasn’t bc I didn’t know I had dysphoria but after I took the time to evaluate myself I realized I very much did. My childhood sounds a lot like yours, and I also started hanging out with girls to try and fit in. Ohhhh and I also did the little mustache thing before the shower 😂
You are a very handsome man, don't go by what your family wants, go by what you what, do they what a unhappy depress girl, or a son that is full of life and happiness.
You're awesome just like you are and just like you've always intended on being and the people that told you you're going to regret it ;they were just trying to make themselves feel more comfortable with your situation but you are living your skin and you're awesome and beautiful Just As You Are..😊😇🤩😍.. !!
That's exactly how my family and some of my so called "friends" have been. They say oh you're gonna be a pretty short guy or you're gonna regret it or you don't want this and scare me into going back, but I know who I am. I think those kind of people make it very difficult for trans to transition by putting those negative thoughts into their head trying to make them doubt instead of making them feel more comfortable.
Tetsu Tetsuya I wonder if the people you labeled as "so called 'friends'" may actually be your friends who are willing to take the chance and voice their concerns because they love you. Perhaps your friends and family have deep seated legitimate concerns that they feel compelled to ask you to consider. In the end, it is YOUR decision; however, I think that it is unreasonable for someone to announce that they are going to have a surgery that will drastically change their lives for ever and not expect that the people who love them will question or even challenge the decision. The biggest mistakes I've made in my life are those where I did not seek the often harsh critiques of those who have varying points of view that differed from my own. If your decision to transition is important enough for you to risk so much to obtain it, perhaps the thing to do is patiently fight for the relationships in your life and be willing to have those tough discussions.. Just a thought. Well...some thoughts.. Thanks for hearing me out. I do appreciate the fact that you don't know me, and I've just offered unsolicited advice.
Thank you! Probably not at this point. I am happy with just chest surgery. Maybe a hysto for hormonal reasons but I don't need bottom surgery at this point. Look out for a video in the next couple weeks about it.
Almost every guy I met is much shorter than me. So not sure what they are talking about lol. Sounds to me like your family is projecting THEIR feelings onto you...saying you will regret it when in reality maybe they feel they will regret you doing it. Live for you, live and let live. No one can tell you what will make YOU happy.
Great vid topic, Some people just need to be told to butt out and, excuse my language, fuck off. I have seen your earlier vids where you said basically you almost felt you didn't want to be here before you transitioned, which is so understandable, some people just need to be asked, 'Well will I regret this because the alternative was I didn't feel like living?', and hopefully that puts ignorant people into perspective and gets them to shut their gobs! Honestly the nerve of some people to tell you how you will feel, it really annoys me! And about such silly things too, 'Oh you'll regret it because you're short so you won't pass', well HELLO short cis men do exist! LMAO my Dad is an absolute shrimp! I've never heard anyone ask him if he's trans because he's short LOL! Anyway that's my rant over lol, you look great and don't listen to others, you know you won't regret this and it's amazing that you're being yourself and you're not afraid! Kudos to you :)
I thank God for bringing my daughter out of this confusion. She wanted to have a sex change to make. She was depressed and talked about killing herself. My family and I prayed for her knowing that the enemy Satan wanted to destroy her. Two years later. She is the most girly girl you can imagine. She is attracted to males. Don't fall for this disception.
I'm transgender (male), but I'm also not quite eighteen yet. I've come out to a few friends who so far are accepting but still see me as female on occasion. My boyfriend, who is also trans male, is my biggest supporter and I his. Though, my mother says she knew I would one day believe that I was transgender but thinks it's a phase. She's not excepting and it hurts. I now can only wait until I'm on my own to transition, and the rest of my family will just have to deal with it, I guess...
Some of the changes like facial hair can revert, and your body fat will redistribute back to a female pattern, but changes like your voice won't go away.
Hi Ashton, Can you just help me out the details of medical expenses spent in this surgery? Do we have to have the testosterone all my life to get erection ?
Awesome video Ashton and you are so right.......as a gay man, I am truly inspired by all your awesome videos. Thanks for being you and keep doing what you do :)
Hunter80843 I completely understand that feelings. I had to really push to get my doctor to start my transition when I really needed to. I really had to learn to advocate for myself.
I'm in support of any adult doing what makes them happy. I disagree with allowing children who dont have the part of their brain developed that allows them to see the ramifications of their decisions to make such life altering ones.
I transitioned (not medically, because I couldn't afford it, but socially) for 5 years and have since detransitioned, and I don't regret it one bit. I learned so much about myself and the world and ultimately I accepted the fact that I feel like my gender is too fluid to pin down. Sometimes I feel male, sometimes I feel female, most times I feel like both or neither. I honestly just learned that gender isn't as important as we make it out to be and I don't care what gender I am or what people call me. I'm me!
Exactly! Never regret becoming who you are and feeling good inside your body. Ever. That’s one of the most empowering things a person can do for themselves. My family is not so supportive either and my own mother has said terrible things to me. Just always have to remember that we’re the ones who live with ourselves inside ourselves everyday. We’re doing this for us!!
"No one can tell you who you are." That will stay with me for a loooong time. Thanks, mate.
Thank you so much. I so badly needed to see this today. I wish that I could make everyone I know watch this.
Thanks for this vid. I'm 60 and just started my journey.
I'm also considering this journey at near 60.
Good thing is its a party you cant be late to😘 good luck
Y'all LADIES best read your BIBLES. You can't come back from that!
hey Ashton,this video meant a lot to me. I came out when I was 17(?),I'm 22 now..I pass and pre everything. but I had gotten to this point where the ridicule and things that people made me feel and would say made me feel I had to settle. settle being stuck in a place looking at a face that doesn't have hair,wanting so much I know that I will have when on injections. I felt like I was doing so much to make others comfortable..I was reaching out to anyone I could asking for a place to stay just to find a good environment to really live my life. it's been a week now since I made up my mind and going thru 100% no more hesitation from people trying to hold me down,my mother has agreed to help me pay for my therapy,even gave me opinion on a middle name to pick. I am hoping to start therapy in December or January,God willing since I'm moving. I'm so excited..this is the beginning of many beautiful things..to finally be comfortable. I can't wait to have my top surgery as well. just overwhelmed with happiness.
Sorry to be off topic, but that bottle tree is awesome!
I am so glad I saw this comment lol I agree with you
Same, lol, I wanted to see what it looks like in the dark, he should make a short video comment about the bottle tree.
chris green Philly yeah trans tree
@@nonenone5976 shut the fuck up. They talk about themselves so that if other people can relate they could get some advice and have some knowledge
It's very interesting hearing my story coming out of someone else's mouth. It is nice to hear that someone else addresses this. I, too, thunk about the potential regret. But here I am, four years later into my medical transition, and I forget sometimes I am even transgender. Not a single regret. I would regret not transitioning. I would probably be dead.
think, rather
Keep going. You're amazing. An inspiration to someone like me, who's still too afraid to actually begin his journey.
Eron Stark For months of my life I was exactly where you are now. Don't forget that courage takes developing. I used to be too afraid to start.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
― Anaïs Nin
Thank you so much. That means so much to hear.
Eron Stark I've known 100% I wanted to transition since I was 10 years old. And I knew I could start when I was 18, yet I waited until I was 20 because I felt as though I wasn't ready yet.
Of course, now that I am eargerly waiting for this dreary process to be over so I can finally start to T and stuff I wish I had started earlier but deep down I know, I wouldn't have been emotionally rady step up to then plate then like I can now.
Sometimes you just need a little bit of time.
+Eron Stark I'm exactly the same, I'm too scared to transition :( scared I'll end up alone, that nobody would ever fall in love with me and that i'll never pass. These are the things that hold me back.
+CosmicLight Same Here.. But i'm alone now too. Because of my emotionally illness. You have to Love urself First. Then somebody loves u too!
I'm 5 ft 3 ain't nobody telling me what I can or can't do. My height bothers me sometimes, but, I'm still anxious to start my transition. I pass, but, does height really matter?
You can get shoe inserts if you hate being short thats what i do
I'm 5ft 2 lmao
5 foot 3 here. I'm just a little dude, but I'm still a dude.
I seen so many short guys that doesn’t make them any less of a man
No sir Heights does not matter because what they don't understand that you're the tallest and the strongest person in the room emotionally and physically even though it doesn't register on a tape measure but you can't register someone's great Soul, goodness power and self worth...😇😊😁
I am Native American, don't know if you have ever known our views on transgender people, it is very different than the Christian religions. Thought you might like to read about it. I think you look amazing and I am just sad that your family doesn't understand the concepts of two spirited people. Stay strong. www.theguardian.com/music/2010/oct/11/two-spirit-people-north-america
BeAcH ReAlM I am familiar with the concept of two spirited people. My mom is actually the only person who isn't supportive in my family. It's a shame because my great grandmother on her side is full Cherokee. Thanks for the article.
6 years later - Thanks !✌️
You're just a handsome being and watching your transition video made me emotional. Emotional because you you mentioned that you had the option of being your true self, or to end your life. I'm glad that you have improved your quality of life by doing what makes you happy. Dude you're awesome!! Stay awesome!
Ashton, your videos have helped me so much. I'm also not the tallest (5'3"). Like you were, I am a pretty girl on the outside, and the number one thing people tell me is that I will regret my decision because I am a pretty girl. They don't understand that it has nothing to do with physical attractiveness.
I've scheduled my first gender therapy appointment for the 11th. My therapist is trans himself and he's already offered to help me look for doctors in my area and get the hormone therapy.
Coming out to my friends, family, and strangers I hardly knew was a huge step for me, and your videos helped me do it. I've had an extremely positive reaction as well though: my mom, while not eager for this, gave me money for male clothes and gave me her support, my close friends started calling me by the new name I chose, and encouraged me to be open and find my own happiness.
Thank you.
Messages like this are exactly why I make videos on this channel!! :) I am so proud of you for having the courage to advocate for yourself and meet with a gender therapist. Keep pushing forward in whatever way you feel is best for you. If you have any topics that you think I should cover I am compiling a list of topics people have asked for and will make them one at a time.
Thank you for the support. I'm a new watcher of yours so you may have covered this one before: how you dealt with the long wait before and after you started transitioning. I know we all deal with it differently, I was just curious what it was like for you. :) Otherwise your videos are very informative and encouraging. I'm glad you have the courage to be yourself despite what other people say and think. Your courage helped me more than I can possibly say.
My parents think the same thing. I waited until I was 18 to come out so that I could do what I needed to do. :/
defroy adam obviously not, that's an actor
I wish though lol
This was so beautiful. Thank you! I feel like I could go and beat up some haters right now :)
Wow. Those words of you saying about you looking into the camera and see this man, yourself, and having that moment. That is exactly how I feel. I hate when my family, especially my mom, picks fights about me being transgender. She gets so angry and starts crying. It hurts me not because she doesn't accept but because she doesn't see me for who I truly am and that it causes her to cry. I wish she would just understand where I am coming from. I'm a very shy person, and my therapist is trying to get me out of that stage of being shy, but its still hard. My steps to becoming transitioned are like extreme baby steps. My mom gets angry and says that my therapist isn't helping me and that I need to see a new one. She always claims that she knows me, obviously she doesn't. Because its not my therapists fault, its mine. And I can't tell her anything that she is wrong about or she gets angry and fights and says negative things about me being transgender. She's very abusive. And its hard to get away from it. Seeing this videos put a little tears in my eyes because I felt the same and now I have the words to express myself. You took the words right out of my mouth. (: I watch people videos about them transitioning, and it helps me little by little, whether its a tip on how to pass or on packing or binding or just words that can get someone through the day. They all help in one way or another. I am very thankful for every trans person out there for not only me but other trans people that are shy and not educated about being trans. thank you to all of you! :)
Smile! :)
Dustin
I'm very proud of you. Keep being who you are, don't let anyone try to tell who you are with there own regrets. You are a true gift to life and being the man you are. Congrats and more power to you.
People often don't realize that their lack of ability or want to understand a family member's or loved ones personal struggles can be extremely hurtful and even harmful. Ignorance is a taught behavior. When they know better, they'll do better. My hope for you is that they see how happy and at peace you are within yourself and in your skin and that'll encourage them to be open to education but most importantly to be open minded, accepting, loving and proud of the person you are. I do not share your same battle. But I do know what courage, strength, faith and determination it takes to live your truth despite people's opinions and criticism. I very much admire what it took for you and so many others to do what was right. It takes being brave and bold. From just this video I think you are an incredible man and human being. This video was posted over a year ago, so I'm doubtful you'll even see my long babbled comment lol. But maybe others will and I hope they gain the realization that there is acceptance out there, that the world is changing for the better. May be a slow change, but its changing. So hold on to that hope, as its not false. Continue your fight. Everyone deserves to be confident, happy and comfortable being exactly who they are. You'll prevail in the end! And I know many will gain the drive and the courage to listen to their hearts and do what is in their best interest from watching your video and videos like it. I hope life has and will only continue to get sweeter for you. :)
Congrats with your amazing transition. And for being happy and in synch with your inner yourself. I hope this gives courage to more young people.You can be proud of yourself.
Ashton : You are absolutely right, NOBODY can tell you what you are going to regret, once you know what you truly are and what you want and aware of your responsibilities : IT IS ON.
I moved from Mexico to California to set up my boundaries to my family and close friends, I had to, because they didn't want me to be ME.
That didn't make sense to me, so I moved to America, I did my transition and I came back to my family, one by one, and now they respect my choices,
the only thing I would regret would be doing just what they told me to do with myself. Keep it up Ashton.
You are a super cool man.
if your not regretting it, then that is all that matters.
people always have something to say, and its most often on subjects they know nothing about...you look great and seem really happy..big hug to you
I find it funny how your family (and possibly friends) talk about "You're gonna be pretty short for a guy, there's no way you'd pass as a man" when there are plenty of "short" cis men out there, including my high school sweetheart who was 5'5" all throughout high school and is just barely 5'6" at his full adult height. Like, do they think that someone should lose their "man card" if they're under 6' as full-grown adults or some nonsense like that?
Heck...I’m 5’1”
Good for you! I'm about to begin testosterone treatment. Thank you so much for making this video and re-inforcing everything I am feeling.
I'm not trans however I am about to go through a surgery that will hopefully change my life and I've been very nervous throughout the process of this last year, and very, very nervous about the upcoming months. I've thought of just kind of giving up and .. Living as I am but your words were very inspiring. About being the person you see in your mind. Thank you for inspiring me, even though what I will change is not nearly as difficult or as intense as you, it is still something that makes me very insecure. I appreciate this all.
+Danny Plata I'm really glad my experience could give you some help. I hope everything goes well with your surgery. You will never make the "wrong" decision if you keep trust in yourself. You are the only person who knows what is truly best for you. :)
This is so inspiring! It's important to keep in mind, that we as a society should squash the notion that we will regret our transitions; I don't think anyone should be allowed to put that fear in a trans individual, because it's obvious that they are not doing it out of genuine concern that you're actually going to regret it..But more-so because they're hoping they'll be capable of scaring you out of transition.
It seems to be a bit more of a bogus, passive-aggressive attempt, at that.
I personally think that once an individual has seen a gender therapist, and they've been "okay-ed" for hormone replacement therapy, no one should ever utter a word to that person about their transition, unless it's in a positive and supportive light. That'd certainly be an ideal reality, huh?
Anyway, *I am so proud of you,* for always standing your ground despite what others say. You're definitely a great role model for other trans individuals whom face negativity like this. You're a really great example of the fact that only a very small minority of people regret their transition, or cease to fully transition.
I hope you continue making videos that really make a difference in the lives of others!
As far as regret or remorse goes, I think others are the reason for those thoughts. They make you question your actions. I have regretted decisions mostly when someone asks "why in the world did you do that? This is what you needed to do. Period. I am so glad you are happy
Hey Ashton. I feel you. I have never regretted my transition for one Second. It has been a life saving move for me..
Wow. this is crazy im seeing this so late. SOO late. but dang, I hope all is well. its always got me. because im straight man, but is it okay for me to say you are an attractive man? like honestly watching you have that moment made me happy to be able to see somebody who could be happy in seeing progression in themselves. like everybody is stuck nowadays in this rut they are in, basically our society as a whole.. because people just want to hate. The more people hate and the more jealous people get by seeing the happiness others can and have achieved just makes them even more anger and bitter. And so people feel like they have to be superior, and show it off. Bashing gender, race, age, wealth, ability to speak, write.. like what does it all matter? You do you! let them do them.. and if them is worrying about you then as long as you are the only one who makes your own decisions then they can try to change you all they want. but it aint gonna happen. :) I just wish more people could be like you, and be open to change and be open to becoming themselves.. because its okay. What is not right is for people to be scared.. to be scared of an opinion. an opinion that is shared by a group of people, not by ALL people. It is one good thing to know to that there really is always someone out there who loves you! family, friend, or stranger. Straight gay bi trans black white mixed 12 or 37 or 59. there is somebody. Strive to be yourself because when people are looking to change you.. no matter how much change comes from you they will never be happy because they are unhappy with themselves. I love you all! as the straightest non racist white american individual. ALL.
+James Thebeau :) You are correct. We are living in a culture of scarcity (read of some Brene Brown's books, she has been very helpful in explaining the concepts you are talking about). We are shaming each other for being different because we live in such a culture of lack. We think there is not enough love or resources to go around when really there is enough for everyone. With this culture of scarcity we have little or no empathy for others because we are only worried about getting our own needs met but no realizing it is not me against them. We ARE in this together and there is enough love, food, etc. for everyone if we realize that and become conscious enough to work together for are inherent "oneness".
They are simply scared for you and for themselves because uncertainty (for them) is scary, and also because they love you. But you are going your own way, as everyone is. Nobody can live your life for you, so be honest with yourself and with them. And when they see you blossom, they will be reassured and lose their fears. From a Dad to a Son. Love
Bro I to want to change to male
Anony Mous lol
Ashton - I would like to preface this by stating that you are very handsome. I am so glad that you posted this video. I sincerely hope that eventually your family and those that have repeatedly stated:"You're going to regret this", will see that you are a brighter, happier and better version of your former self. You look and sound A-1. Good for you. Silence your detractors.
Love this, reminds me of something Eleanor Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"
This made my night. You seem like a fantastic human being and I'm super glad you are making these videos. Keep shining, you are awesome!
It doesn't matter what they say. They wouldn't understand unless they're in your shoes. You need to focus on what makes you happy and you'll prove them wrong when you're on the other end of all this. From the sound if it you won't regret this as you seem to have it together and it makes you happy! Good luck, bud!
Awesome video! My dad told me, "Let people tell you you can't do something then go and prove them wrong." From what I can see in the context of your video, that's exactly what you've done.
I love this video so much omg this helps me on my journey towards becoming ftm
Thanks for sharing your experience, I'm coming out now and this is one of the hardest things to hear: "you're gonna regret it". stay strong and true to yourself
ohhh... thank you, TH-cam "related videos", and thank you Ashton for making this video. I was just now going down a very negative rabbit-hole of crazy-ftmz-W0W... I don't go near that kind of stuff - and actually have not really seen most content on youtube about transition (I transitioned 12 or so years ago - before YT even existed! which is really strange to realize)... Anyway. I wanted to escape and saw yer mug in the Related videos and clicked on it. .... There are always going to be a few crazies in any bunch (and I realize that you won't know what/who I'm referring to, which is probably best for all concerned), but the sweet, smart folkx are the ones who have always kept my spirit ablaze... So I know nothing more about you than this one lovely proclamation of you becoming who you are, but it was a MUCH-NEEDED and MOST-WELCOME tonic. You are - I can tell, from just 5 minutes! - a sweet soul, and I congratulate you on knowing who you were, going past the hurtful nasty comments (I get it; I got 'em), and becoming your authentic self. Love!
That sucks that your family members have said negative things to you. I think it's fantastic that you're doing something that makes you feel good and that you're being your real self. I like your "moment" with yourself. :) Thanks for the inspiring video! This is going on my Favorites list.
You seem like an awesome person, and it seems like it's really made you happy- which is all that matters, in the end. :-)
I think that, no matter what choices you make, there are always going to be people who are not 'happy' with them, and will tell you that you'll regret them simply because that's how THEY feel. So continue doing what makes you feel happiest, and hopefully one day they can come to terms with it.
thanks for this video, from someone who's still waiting to start (sigh) and has been getting lot of this shit recently from close friends. your video touched me :)
Marix C You're not alone. This may be the hardest time but it is the most temporary time. The people that love you for you and want to know you genuinely for your heart will support you in becoming more yourself. Its hard when you can't control the relationships and the people around you in how they react but just know you don't deserve to have anyone make you feel bad for needing to transition.
thank you! :)
Marix C Being made to feel bad about a decision is not always a bad thing. I think the thing to do is try to differientiate between the mean-spirited attacks and the concerned, love-filled inquiries and suggestions. In the end, it is YOUR decision, but I believe vilifying those who love you just because they are afraid that you are making a mistake is unfair to them and it is unfair to you. If you had a good friend who was about to commit suicide, would you just let them, or would you do everything you could to counsel them to live? Well, to your friends and family, someone that they love very much is about to die--the other-gendered part of you! Before they see that person die so the new you can live, they need to know for sure that they have given that other you every chance at life. It is a very natural response. I am just saying that you should fight for your relationships and sometimes that means actually listening to and hearing them as much as you want them to hear you. I hope that came our right...
In 20 years of being around Trans people I have only know 1 who has had any regrets. So personally and professionally I don't see you ever regretting anything but just the opposite. You'll love yourself more because you're free to be who you really are not that fake persona that was there before.
Peace and love.
Thanks for the video, friend and I'm sorry to hear about the hardships you've been put through by others imposing their narrow ideas on you! I've been on T for almost 5 yrs now and don't regret this choice either. The sad thing is that people used to shame me for my body while I was still living as a female because I looked too masculine for them. As soon as I properly started passing, things were suddenly fine with them...
One more thing I'd like to say is that it's really a shame you had to say in advance that people need to watch the whole thing so that they don't post negative comments going just by the title of the video: it just shows how narrow-minded and restricted a lot of trans people are themselves for not allowing any deviation from the "normal" trans narrative!
I'm at that point now, where I'm having people tell me that. I understand so well, I don't have the words to say. This really hit me in the feels. I'm worried I may never be able to do it, for either medical or financial reasons. I'd like to have hope for the future (and videos like these really help), but it seems so bleak. Every day it's a fight with my body image, self, and everyone around me. I KNOW who I am, like you and many others and it just hurts so much to have to argue and fight with people who try to tell you otherwise, as if THEY know what it's like to live in our body.
I even see this in the comments here, and it's a struggle. I feel absolutely obligated to be an advocate for all of us, but it's so hard. The problem is, the stress is severely degrading the quality of my life. I wish I could just easily transmit my thoughts and feelings into something global where everyone would just KNOW; I am terrible at speaking because I'm autistic, so making a video would be hard, but I have so many words on this! I could honestly go on forever to everyone with their negative comments, I have so much to teach.
The main reason is I don't want anyone else to suffer like me. I want people who don't know why they feel "weird" or don't fit in, follow silly gender stereotypes or whatever combo of things to know that this real, this is a thing. I didn't know my whole growing life that I could've been happy. If only I had known about hormone blockers before puberty; that my parents, doctors, therapists, school counselors, psychiatrists could've known about this and put the pieces together why I was so unhappy. Hell, I even straight up SAID constantly, "I don't wanna be a girl, I'm not a stupid girl, I'm not a lady, I don't want anything to do with any of this." I was furious, consistent and adamant about not wanting anything to do with females (body/gender role) since I was a toddler. I'm sure my parents were so ashamed they ignored it and continued to police me into the gender they wanted, but it's hard to ignore someone saying this for 20 years. Even today, with my own voice, knowledge and discovery of myself, they don't believe me.
I was bullied ruthlessly for apparently not even being a human. "WHAT ARE YOU? WHAT IS THAT THING? IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?" comments constantly while puberty fought with me. Even multiple suicide attempts and it's "faking, being dramatic, martyr, cry for attention, phase/fad, etc." never even acknowledging there was a problem, asking me what's wrong or how to fix it. Then again, how am I to know what's wrong when I don't even know there's a name for what's wrong with me?
This is a huge problem. Hence why I feel the need to be an advocate 24/7.
This was a great video, thank you so much for sharing and putting your voice out there for those who can't.
Divine Light Your message is really important to me. I really hope that you continue to do what you can to live the best life for you. You seem like a very caring and aware person. It is really hard sometimes, even for me, but you are already doing the work, just keep at it the best you can. You seem like you know exactly who you are. That is the most valuable thing anyone can have. No one can take that away from you.
what an amazing video. I've been having some hard times with my pre-T transitions and this just placed me in a much better mood.
You're honest, caring & realistic. Inspiration springs out of people & spreads where it needs to go to... so Thanks for your channel & vids. At the pre-HRT stage of my journey (mtf) your heartfelt advice is re-assuring as we all need to listen & learn from each other to make our transition the happiest phase of our lives, so that everying after is built on real self-trust & joy :o) You're awesome...keep on being so..!
Loving who you are is all that matters.
I think alot of people find it hard to take one seriously when it comes to things like this because its a major life decision that you cant fully take back, and they are concerned the one thinking of doing it may not have thought it through fully. Unfortunately, some people really do make big decisions they regret all the time, and want to take then back but cant. Its a rare person who makes a life changing decision he or she will never regret because he or she was serious enough and thought it through carefully. Rarer, still, that one could make a decision like this at a young age. So I understand THAT part of it. However, I was one of those people who made a life changing decision at 12 years old, and have not regretted or gone back at all. I know for certain people CAN make life choices at this age but most people really dont think things through like that. So I get that side too. But I think this is a major factor in why so many people think one will regret a choice such as this. Aside from that, youre freaking adorable and have such a sweet face and demeanor.
Thank you so much. I've had a lot of doubt within myself but I really think this helped me understand why.
It's wonderful that you are happy with your decision! All the best to you!
You are a beautiful person. This video speaks to so many people, it's inspiring to see. And I must say, you are quite attractive, you also seem to have a nice energy.
I was watching a couple of You tube vids and I came across your account. I'm glad I did! You inspire me ;) You have a lot of gut, and strength to physically change your appearance especially from female to male. You're extremely brave. If it feels right do it. Keep going, never look back. You're a good looking male. I personally believe it's inside what counts - Personality is important too and u certainly have one. I like. :) You're awesome! Good luck Ashton!
I needed this. Thank you!!! I'm happy for you and your journey! Love yourself!
I havent been on FTM journey long to regret. I still need to restart testosterone. Im still researching FTM related procedures.
I have a male mind. And just want my body to be aligned.
thank you for talking about this! I needed to hear this from someone:3
i support you man, good on you for being so brave and strong :)
I think you knew exactly what you wanted and other people in your family are just afraid to lose the female version of you, they don't want you to change. They don't understand that it's still going to be you! I think you're super good looking, most people don't care about your height. I don't think I've ever not dated someone or spoke to them because they weren't 6 feet tall, that's ridiculous. You know what? How about "You be You!" It looks great in you and you're certainly super confident about yourself. Love the beard, it's pretty sexy.
Ashton, you seem like an extremely grounded and thoughtful guy. Not to mention super handsome and hot! Height won't matter when you look like you do! Stay cool, and don't let all the haters get to you. I'm subbing.
Just, thank you a lot dude !
It's good that u know what u want and were sure u wanted to transition. I think they were only saying those things to try and talk u out of transitioning. Your a very cute guy and it's a good thing u stayed that way ;)!
hugs I know this was tough for you talking about this :(
Im really young. I'm 12.... And i want to transition MtF. Any tips on how to get started and for my parents to understand? I haven't even told them yet. But ever since i was in 5 i felt like i was in a wrong body. Also my religion doesn't accept transexuals. I'm a muslim, but im sorta transitioning to athiest~ anything can help me out. Thank you. :D
Cragon Try watching this whole video if you have any specific questions after that I'm happy to help. :) th-cam.com/video/JBWu55hynB0/w-d-xo.html
omg im like you muslim and want to transition FTM I didnt want to be a girl I always felt like a boy...I just dont know what to tell my parents
Haha same
Cragon lol and im only 15
Thanks haha i wish i become like you one day
This video got really deep and I can relate to it so much.
I believe everyone's transition is different and even after all the medication and surgeries many do regret it.
I think that no one regrets becoming more themselves. If they regretted it it maybe because of surgery complications that any surgery can have or still living in a society that is dangerous for Trans people: mentally, physically. Yeah, I can understand pain around transition and wishing never having to have had to do it but no one does this that doesn't have to.
stay who you are
I'm glad you were honest with yourself. I hear a lot of people want to return back. There's a lot of LGBT that are totally against this.... It's YOUR BODY! You have every right to change your mind. Then these doctors are quick to give you hormones and surgery just to make a buck! Not asking about how you truly feel.
You're such a badass! Awesome video.
i dont why i always feel like i will regret it and i always have doubts that i wish would stop, i havent regretted cutting my hair very short or wearing masculine clothes, i love it ! so i dont know why but its like something in my mind is not leaving me alone and telling me im not really trans or im ot gonna transition
Genma Shiranui You can just continue to try things that work for you. Wearing new clothes, new haircut, you could wear a chest binder just to try it out, get a packer for your pants, things like that just to see how you feel. There is no rush. You're allowed to just try things out and see if they work. You don't have to get surgery or take hormones to be trans.
BE STRONG! And I know you are. I know they are family, but you are just being you. It is not normal to change your gender but it is just you. Someday, hopefully, they'll learn how to respect, appreciate and love us LGBT.
don't listen to anyone but yourself. If it feels right then you know you made the right decision. x
I love this video. I just skimmed through responses. Some made me **face palm**
You are gorgeous! You seem like a seriously lovely guy! Looking at you I can't imagine you as a female.
Keep on keepin' on :-)
My dad warned me that some people that transition to male regret it later. He didn't specifically tell me that I would regret it, which is awesome, but he did say that my mom was afraid that if I transitioned I would regret it. He also said that she thinks 13 years old is too young to make a life-changing decision. He wants me to think about it for another month... I'm halfway into that month and I am having no doubts at all. I didn't have any doubts before the month. I've never had any doubts.
My dad's and mom's greatest fear is my grandma, and I'm actually pretty scared, too. See, our whole family is Christian, but my grandma is extremely right wing. My parents and my siblings and I are middle wing, I guess you could call it, but my grandma is so right wing, she... ...I can't think of anything to put here. But with Christianity on top of her conservativeness, she may ignore me for a few years, or forever. ;-;
Dix1206 Right wing is conservatives, and left wing is liberals...
Kevin Dysart Jesus was the most liberal person history has ever seen, but seriously, why such hurry? you are 13, I cant thing of a single decision that I made when I was your age that I dont regret now, I cant even imagine if I had the chance to make a huge decision like that at that age.
***** Neurobiologists would disagree with you that people at 13 are too young to understand their gender identity. I'm sure you knew exactly what your gender was at 13 and still identify as such so why would it be so shocking that someone else to know the same?
Ashton Colby at 13 you are not even capable of driving or drinking, you are not even old enough to decide to have a tattoo because its for life, you might even struggle with the decision of having to take care of a dog, then why the hell would it be mature enough to make such huge decision like changing your genitals forever? Even if you really are TG it doesnt mean that the best course of action for you in particular is to transition or have SRS, you are too young to understand the severity and the responsibility of those actions, many real TG are very happy with being pre-op or non-transitional even when they desired their whole lives to be post op, when they meet other post-op who are HONEST and tell them all that having this done implies, the dangers, the daily routine, the constant pills and medication every single day, Loosing their sensitivity, loosing their sex drive, loosing their orgasm, having phantom limb syndrome, the hygiene problem, the danger of meeting partners, domestic abuse, the fact that you might not transition well, die of blood loss after surgery, or you might not entirely pass as the other gender. At 13 you are not able to comprehend what most of this means to be able to make a decision. Kid has his whole life ahead to think about it, dont become another Leela Alcorn.
(cont...) and the sad truth is that after going through all that he will still feel like a man trapped in a woman's body, because the problem is in his mind.
You're inspirational and you look great
if you want to be yourself, stay who you are.
f you're a woman stay being a woman and if you're a man , stay being a man
not to change your sex and say "i am who i am"
+TheDoubleAgent so if it was 200 years ago what would have transgendered people done then? This a product of modern day technology
you just compared cancer to transgender
they're very different thing dude TheDoubleAgent
+Risky Bisky Treating gender dysphoria is not elective for trans people who need to transition. If your gender dysphoria is bad enough, it can end your life. Because gender dysphoria is something that happens in the mind, and many people don't understand it, perhaps even someone you respect has given you the idea that it is a choice to have gender dysphoria, you've made the reasonable conclusion that gender dysphoria is something people should be able to choose to live with untreated. I wish that were the truth but it is far from it.
Your stupidity makes me fear the human race
riskybisky:You're missing the point. People that are going through this do not feel or identify with their sex. It's torture for them. Can't you feel this person's joy at being what he's become?
I'm going to think about this more when I'm 16, 17. I want to wait till I'm actually ready to do the transition because I'm not sure yet if I want to and I have no idea what my friends and family would think of me. They may or may not know because I may have shown signs when I was little that I maybe trans. I always hung out with boys and acted like one. I wanted to play with action figures and wear guy clothes. Now that I'm older I'm not quite sure. I always choose male over female but with my friends I choose female so I fit in. I stopped hanging out with boys and I've became a shy, insecure person. I don't like fancy dresses. I'll admit I draw mustaches on my face before I take a shower. I wear baggy clothes and don't care. Of course I don't like it when my hair is messy or if I have something on my face. I talk a lot like a girl though. Once my friends brought up transgender (they aren't) and I went like ooook. I'm not into girls though. I'm strait so I'm into guys of course. I want to look at the make clothes at the store. When I was little I wished upon a star to be a boy. I like being a girl, but I'd sure like being a guy. Am I trans? Help me.... If I was would I technically be gay for liking guys? This is getting pretty long so bye.
Jacob Knight You don't have to figure everything out right this moment. Everyday you become more of the person you are meant to be even if at first it doesn't seem like it. I can't tell you if you are trans, no one can. That may seem up helpful but the thing is you have to keep in mind that even with the possible negative things people might think or say the only person's opinion that matters is yours. I made a video about some of my feelings on this subject How I Knew I Was Transgender To answer your other question though there are gay trans men. Sexuality and gender are two different things so don't stress yourself out about your sexuality needed to be something in order to transition.
you're young and if you don't KNOW that you are male in your brain, then don't transition until/if you do. At your age people feel all kinds of things, and have all kinds of hormones running around in their bodies. Liking something or thinking you'd like it doesn't mean that you ARE that thing. Sounds like you are very confused, and also into pleasing your friends, so you pretend to like things they like so you fit in, which isn't being true to yourself but it's difficult at your age. Being transgender doesn't mean you like girls, or like guys. It has NOTHING to do with sexual preference, AT ALL. And next time your friends bring up transgender, perhaps you could point them to some videos or books (that you could read yourself too) to educate them, because you saying "ook" about it makes it sound as if you are disgusted by it (because you want your friends to think you are? because they are?). Watch vids, read books, go see a counselor, that is my advice friend.
Ashton Colby
Uh I know I’m like 4 years late but you sound a lot like me. I’m 17 and I just recently realized I’m trans ftm and also gay. At first I thought I wasn’t bc I didn’t know I had dysphoria but after I took the time to evaluate myself I realized I very much did. My childhood sounds a lot like yours, and I also started hanging out with girls to try and fit in. Ohhhh and I also did the little mustache thing before the shower 😂
You are a very handsome man, don't go by what your family wants, go by what you what, do they what a unhappy depress girl, or a son that is full of life and happiness.
You're awesome just like you are and just like you've always intended on being and the people that told you you're going to regret it ;they were just trying to make themselves feel more comfortable with your situation but you are living your skin and you're awesome and beautiful Just As You Are..😊😇🤩😍.. !!
I so needed this video right now.. Thank you!
That's exactly how my family and some of my so called "friends" have been. They say oh you're gonna be a pretty short guy or you're gonna regret it or you don't want this and scare me into going back, but I know who I am. I think those kind of people make it very difficult for trans to transition by putting those negative thoughts into their head trying to make them doubt instead of making them feel more comfortable.
Tetsu Tetsuya I wonder if the people you labeled as "so called 'friends'" may actually be your friends who are willing to take the chance and voice their concerns because they love you. Perhaps your friends and family have deep seated legitimate concerns that they feel compelled to ask you to consider. In the end, it is YOUR decision; however, I think that it is unreasonable for someone to announce that they are going to have a surgery that will drastically change their lives for ever and not expect that the people who love them will question or even challenge the decision. The biggest mistakes I've made in my life are those where I did not seek the often harsh critiques of those who have varying points of view that differed from my own. If your decision to transition is important enough for you to risk so much to obtain it, perhaps the thing to do is patiently fight for the relationships in your life and be willing to have those tough discussions.. Just a thought. Well...some thoughts.. Thanks for hearing me out. I do appreciate the fact that you don't know me, and I've just offered unsolicited advice.
yeah I know they say the things they say cause they care and I am going to take my time so everyone else can slowly processes it all
You clearly are an intelligent person.
got to be who you want to be, not who theirs want you to be.
Good on ya! I think you are a very good looking man. I wish you all the best :)
your awesome , go ashton! are you eventually getting the other surgery?
Thank you! Probably not at this point. I am happy with just chest surgery. Maybe a hysto for hormonal reasons but I don't need bottom surgery at this point. Look out for a video in the next couple weeks about it.
+Ashton Colby as long as your happy ! will do
Yeah I don't know.. If part of me doubts it them maybe its not right for me plus having to take shots forever is intense ..but worth it?
Dallas Pallas Shots are literally once a week and they take five minutes. It is well worth the changes.
Bruce Lee was 5-7, not exactly the tallest guy either. I wouldn't worry too much about it. It is what it is.
This video is very old but i'm so proud of people like you Ashton!
Do you think taking testosterone would help me grow a beard? I'm a guy that always wanted one but never ran in my gene's .
ALL men eventually grow beards . Just wait until your older .or speak to a doctor if your older , you might have a hormone problem.
Thanks brother will do
Almost every guy I met is much shorter than me. So not sure what they are talking about lol. Sounds to me like your family is projecting THEIR feelings onto you...saying you will regret it when in reality maybe they feel they will regret you doing it. Live for you, live and let live. No one can tell you what will make YOU happy.
Is that a bottle of hope tree? I have one just like it
so beautiful so unique so you so a kindness heart so a role model
Just came across your channel. Not sure how I ended up here lol. hey you're really handsome I love your beard and hair
well done ! defend yourself!
Great vid topic,
Some people just need to be told to butt out and, excuse my language, fuck off. I have seen your earlier vids where you said basically you almost felt you didn't want to be here before you transitioned, which is so understandable, some people just need to be asked, 'Well will I regret this because the alternative was I didn't feel like living?', and hopefully that puts ignorant people into perspective and gets them to shut their gobs! Honestly the nerve of some people to tell you how you will feel, it really annoys me! And about such silly things too, 'Oh you'll regret it because you're short so you won't pass', well HELLO short cis men do exist! LMAO my Dad is an absolute shrimp! I've never heard anyone ask him if he's trans because he's short LOL!
Anyway that's my rant over lol, you look great and don't listen to others, you know you won't regret this and it's amazing that you're being yourself and you're not afraid! Kudos to you :)
I thank God for bringing my daughter out of this confusion. She wanted to have a sex change to make. She was depressed and talked about killing herself. My family and I prayed for her knowing that the enemy Satan wanted to destroy her. Two years later. She is the most girly girl you can imagine. She is attracted to males. Don't fall for this disception.
I'm transgender (male), but I'm also not quite eighteen yet. I've come out to a few friends who so far are accepting but still see me as female on occasion. My boyfriend, who is also trans male, is my biggest supporter and I his. Though, my mother says she knew I would one day believe that I was transgender but thinks it's a phase. She's not excepting and it hurts. I now can only wait until I'm on my own to transition, and the rest of my family will just have to deal with it, I guess...
MadXoXHatter 13 You what's the best part of life you can drop the people who don't accept you.
What happens if you lose access to testosterone? I'm not trolling, I'm seriously asking.
Some of the changes like facial hair can revert, and your body fat will redistribute back to a female pattern, but changes like your voice won't go away.
I am begining transition, could you reverse the affects of testorone to your natural state if you have regrets? or is what they say true?
Ashton, you're a BAMF. *Virtual fist bump*
Hi Ashton, Can you just help me out the details of medical expenses spent in this surgery? Do we have to have the testosterone all my life to get erection ?
Awesome video Ashton and you are so right.......as a gay man, I am truly inspired by all your awesome videos. Thanks for being you and keep doing what you do :)
My only regret is not pushing my doctor more to help me start my journey sooner
Hunter80843 I completely understand that feelings. I had to really push to get my doctor to start my transition when I really needed to. I really had to learn to advocate for myself.
was your family mad at first
I'm in support of any adult doing what makes them happy.
I disagree with allowing children who dont have the part of their brain developed that allows them to see the ramifications of their decisions to make such life altering ones.