If he is willing to marry someone else, you no longer matter to him.. This is the reason why Hmong men have no respect for us Hmong women. We think they are the only men on earth and there is no one else... I have no respect for women like this.. i'm just so sorry
Yep and I'm not even sorry for this grandma. Strong women points out and stop other women from making these dumb decisions. When women can stand up and put our foot down to say enough is enough, that's why the practice stops. The change we want to see starts with us. Guess what, the men say they are able to continues this practice because women allowed them. They are very right on that point.
This story reminded me of my step mom’s story. She was the first wife of my dad. She did not have and biological kids but loved us dearly. Listening to this story makes me miss her so much. My bio mom loves cannot compared to her love for me...😭😭😭😭
I don't know why she's bragging about how great her life is. First of all, she was brain wash that it's OK for her husband to have a 2nd wife. Why hmong woman always worship and put their man in a pedestal. That's not even a love relationship, sound more like it's a contract to be together. I hate this kind of story that is not equal right.
Yes but she didn’t grew up in our time so a lot of women back then doesn’t think like we do now. She’s not promoting or bragging how great her life is but how big of a heart she has to accept and treat the other woman with love and respect and in return she also got respect and love from the other woman more than her husband giving it to her. You’re missing the whole point of this story.
Its 2021, let's hope that we don't have any hmong women who will degrade themselves like this no more. Its not about being "siab loj"- you men have it all wrong.
Oi! Tsuas yog nej cov niag pog laus thiaj ruam ruam taub haus loj loj es cia niag txiv dev muab nej tsuj cuag dev xwb os! Siab zoo npaum cas los thaum yus niag txiv dev tsis hlub yus lawm nyob tau dabtsis na? Mivnyuam tau txiv tabsis yus nev? Tag ib sim me neej no yus ua ib zaug neeg xwb tsim nyog mus nrhiav kom tau ib tus hlub hlub yus! Nrhiav kom tau ib tus kav ib tus es tsis txhob nrog luag sib txeeb qau!
Big heart it mean ruam xwb I did big heart ❤ my husband & they family say I'm very ruam thiab tsis hlub my self Finally I have no big heart and no respect any one I love my self I don't care anyone
Girl, know your worth and know your non-negotiables. If you don't than you allow others to run your life and make decisions for you. It's not even about loving yourself, it's about knowing what you want and knowing when to cross that line in the sand. Stand your ground and don't be putting up with BS!
Lub neej li no tsuas yog xyoo 75 thiaj li xwb os niam tais aw. Yog txiv neej ua tsis tau siab loj ces peb yeej ua tsis taus thiab os. Hnub twg txiv neej ua taus siab loj rau pojniam yuav txiv yau thiab ces thiaj li ncaj ncees. Yus tus txiv yog yus nplooj siab yus yeej tsis lam kam share nrog leejtwg. Nws los nws yeej tsis kam share yus nrog lwm tus txiv neej
Her excuses is bullsh*t!! This grandma is sick thinking it's ok to practice polygamy because her life turned out great. What a great role model for her children and grandchildren. 🤢🤢
@@maipha8560 😂😂😂 I think this is the only way for her since she didn't want to lose her husband. She have to cave in to his desire or risk losing him. Back in the days, divorcing him when you already have children would be frown upon by her neej tsa.
@@pkcyang2910 I also know many strong women who stands their ground and kick her cheating husbands to the curb who are from that generation. Their life actually turned out better because they stopped needing to be submissive to their cheating husband. Less mouths to feed and less drama to deal with. Excuses and this lady is weak sauce.
Kuv mas nyiam noog cov neej neeg ua zoo li no tshaj plaws li kuv mas ntshaw tshaj plaws li kuv lub neej tsis zoo li no kuv tu siab kawg tab sis tsi ua cas kuv nrog nej zoo siab os
It is rare to have the heart this Niam loj has. The love they share with everyone including the kids you don't see these individuals often. What a blessed heart she has.
Wow....neb txawj sib hlub kawg li os...kheev lam cov niam hlob niam yau lam txawj sib hlub lu nej xwb ntshe yuav zoo heev li os...nrog nej zoo siab kawg li os 👏👏👏
Wow, what a great story. People may think differently but I think this story is very rare. Only people with step parents will know but not here to judge 👍
Yog poj niam li poj niam lub siab me2 ti2 txhua yam ngob ntawm tus txiv seb nws ua puas taus txiv xwb yog hais tias nws ntawj coj ces yeej zoo xwb tab sis v xav tias cov txiv coj tau li no mas v xav tias muaj tsawg heev thov qhuas tus txiv tsev no nawb Ho txiv no thiaj tseem2 yog txiv neej yawg tiag nawb.......... Nej Txhob cem2 3 tug niam txiv no nawb nej yuav tsum xav hais tias yog nej nes nej twb ua g tau li lawv ua tab v kiag Los xyov v ua puas tau li lawv 3 tug niam txiv thov qhuas nej mog 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Who are we to judge other people's lifestyle, if they're all happy and can fill their household with love just be happy for them. This is not for everyone and can respect that she can hold her own in this relationship.
Thov qhua os tus phauj koj zaj zoo tshaj plaws uas kuv tau hnov cov niam loj niam me nawb mog thov kom lwm tiam muaj tiag nej rov tau los sib hlub li no Mus ntxiv dhau li ntawv cov txiv tsev yog nej coj tsis zoo thov txhob yuav vim yeej mob tiag li kuv los thov qhuas tus txiv hlob no uas koj musj lub siab hlub ncaj ncees thov ntuj foom koob Hmoov rau nej tsev neeg nawb mog
@@maipha8560 I don't agree with polygamy but I 👏 her for the goodness of her heart. I certainly will not allow that to happen for myself don't get me wrong
Same here. I didn't learn anything other than these ladies are sick and making excuses to continue practicing polygamy. Make me 🤮🤮🤮 when I listen to this story. They set up such great example of a polygamy life that I'm sure their children will continue their practices.
@@maipha8560 maybe she feel obligated to love and respect the second wife because she feel she was blessed by the second wife and had two sons. Because before the second wife came into their life she didn’t have any sons. So maybe she felt it was the second wife’s hmoov that helped her to have sons..??? Just my thought...
@@maivue284 please! Just excuses to continue the practice of polygamy. Children are gift sent from the Heaven, I don't think it works that way. If that's the case, anyone who doesn't have children or only girls or boys would've married a 2nd wife. Oh, how about the men who can't have children, I expect their wife to marry multiple husbands so they can have children. I hate polygamist and I don't care about the excuses, I want women to be treated with respect and dignity. Marrying multiple wives is not to benefit the women but suppression over women. We deserve more than that. That's my 2 cents. ✌️
@@maipha8560 yes totally agree with you. I, for one do not agree on polygamy as well. I’m not saying it’s right but just saying maybe that’s how she feels.
😂😂😂 one man is enough, some of them are worst than children. Too much headaches to deal with. This grandma is sick. She needs help. This story made me 🤮🤮
@@angielo06 this story have the wrong name. Siab loj only to help people who are in need. Practicing polygamy crossed over being sick and siab phem. This grandma needs all the help she can get to undo this stuff she learned thinking it's ok. She thinks it's so great that she desired the same life in her next life. 🤢🤢🤮🤮
Her lesson is: she’s been brainwashed into believing this illusion, but we do not sleep under their bed. When my father married a second wife (here in America). My mother put up a strong front and was “nice” in public to others to keep my dad’s rep. But deep inside her heart, I saw how it destroyed her belief in love, her depression, her will to live and the hardship she endured. It’s just an illusion.
Yog kawg lub neej niam loj niam yau yog los ntawm tus txiv coj rau 2 leeg thiaj los ntawm tus niam loj sib loj li niam yau thiab cov me nyuam 2 tog thiaj sib hlub
Well" I'm gonna say it's their time and it's their lifestyle ok...it's not good for you"..and for me.but it's for them.and why?..you guys acting like it's your life? Comon...people...I'm sure they put all their times and Love and protect them self from the old way. Guys..
Hi thov qhua tu niam tsev no yog ib tug neeg siab loj thiab siab zoo thiaj li cov tau niam yaus los nyob ua ib tsev thov nej txhua tu txhob kam hai lus saib g tau tu niam tsev no nej cov poj niam yuav tau xyau ua ib tug niam tsev zoo li no nawb me niam tsev txhua 2 tu nawb
I don’t support this style of lifestyle but I applaud this author. She’s had to deal with the hand she’s given and made the best of it. Their times are different from ours now and we women won’t put up with this situation. She reminds me of my grandma. My grandma is a niam loj and was very patient and kind to her niam yau. We get along and love our niam yau’s children and grand children nowadays. There’s very few women like this woman & my grandma.
Loved this story! Its so rare to have Niam loj and Niam yau get along. The husband did the right thing for allowing his Niam loj handle their life. Lots of props to these couple's!
This is a story about choosing to be positive and not be bitter. It's not anyone's ideal lifestyle but she chose to expand her heart and accept the hand she was dealt. If she truly loves her step kids as she says, she's a better woman than most, better than me for sure. -Jonathan's Wife
I'm sorry, but this is not siab loj. This is stupidity. PLEASE STOP referring the phrase "siab loj" to allowing your spouse to cheat, abuse, and mistreat you. I hate it when u alow ppl to walk all over u and mistreat you then it's "siab loj" and when u don't then they call u "siab me." These aren't even the correct terms.
It’s because of women like this that is the reason why hmoob men like this guy do what they do. I hope this lady don’t tell her daughters to grow up and “ua siab loj” for their husbands to do the same as her husband. This woman uses all her excuses in this story to justify her actions...pathetic!
Sister Helene Vu, this lady is sick. She definitely need alot of help to undo all that craps she thinks it's ok for polygamy. Make me 🤮🤮🤮 listening to her story. I didn't learn anything else other than her trying to promote polygamy.
Koj yeej yog ib tug neeg zoo kawg li os tiam sis qhov koj lam ua siab loj thiab uv ua ib lub neej niam hlob niam yau vim yog koj tsis muaj peev xwm tso koj tus txiv xwb. Txiv neej Hmoob ces thaum xav tau ntau tus ces yeej paub paub ntxias thiab hais txua yam kom poj niam kom poj niam yeem.
Tej lau ib txwm tia hlua taw kub txog luag hau toj ce yu zoo saib kawg tiam si thaum ho kub lo txog yu hau toj seb yu ho yuav zoo li ca peb ua neeg nyob thaum yu tau ib lub niag neej zoo li no lawm ce kawg sib uv sib zam txim ce yog qhov zoo xwb
Wow lady, just only you can share. Even in dreams still doesn't buy me. I might not leave him, but I'll never be the same to such man. Before I leave, I'll make sure he goes bold! Yes....evil me, but he deserves it...
Cov niam txiv no yeej coj tau zoo kawg lawm tab sis peb hmoob cov muaj niam hlonmb niam yau coj tau zoo li no ces tsua muaj 10% xwb os dua li ces cov sib txeeb txiv thiab lub neej xwb os.
Though the time now is different from 50 years for many Hmong people, but looking back to the "niam yau" era, tus niam loj siab zoo ces yog koj. Niam loj txawj coj ces niam yaus feem ntau yeej yuav txawj fwm thiab. Glad it worked out for your and your family.
Oh......ntuj aw lub neej lwj siab no ces yog niam hlob niam yau xwb kuv tseem hluas2 kuv twb tau ua niam loj dhuav tshaj plaws los pheej yuav tau nyob los vim hlub me nyuam dhau yog lwm tiam muaj tiag li lawv hais kuv tsis thov ntsib yog nws los ua neeg rau lub ntiaj teb no lawm ces kuv yuav tsis kam los tos nws los ua nws thib tag kuv mam los yog kuv los ua neeg lawm tsis pub nws los kuv dhuav tshaj ua rau kuv cia li xav tias ib tsoom txiv neej lub siab phem ib yam nkaus xwb no ua ib siab nyob tsis muaj tus hlub los thiaj tsis tos lawm xwb tiag hmoob......
Neb mas yog tu txiv coj ncaj nawb....cov tsis sib haum yog tu txiv coj tsis ncaj....ib txhia txiv neej es tseem nyiag niam loj tej khoom pub rau tu niam yau es niam loj tsis paub zoo li no es ua cas sib haum...tej yam qab qab es niag txiv xam xam tsis pom niam loj mam li nyiag cev rau niam yau noj tu txiv zoo li no mas tsis haum li lau
I wouldn’t say that this woman has a siab loj. It’s more like “nws nyoos vim tus txiv dev ua ua liam dhau lawm.” She may have a big heart but having a big heart doesn’t mean submission but I guess people have to do what they can to be content with their marriage. I hope that her children and grandchildren can learn from this, so that they don’t repeat this pattern as the problem is still prevalent in the Hmong American community. It doesn’t matter if one is a guy or a woman bc respect goes both ways and relationships are a two way street. I’ve seen these Hmong guys who practice polygamy always complaining that their lives sucks bc of their wives, etc. But honestly, these type of men, filthy cis-Hetero men, ain’t shit. They can prevent further problems, if they think things through by not adding any more problems to their lives if they choose to divorce their wife, instead of acting like they’re gonna die if they cannot have their cake and eat it, too. Most Hmong ppl shouldn’t stigmatized divorced people, especially divorced Hmong women. I really do hope that Hmong women in the future can have their own identity that doesn’t revolved around their parents, in-laws, and their significant others.
I don't support these kind of marriages, but at least the husband cares for both wives. Most husband in this situation will only care for the second wife, and end up abusing the first wife. I'm just glad she's happy, and the only few couple with good ending unlike most other people with two wives.
Bad example and bad role model for promoting polygamy. I'm sure she'll allowed her sons and daughters to practice polygamy because it worked out so perfectly for her. 🤢🤢
Yep! This story just goes to show how sick these 2 women are. Such a sad life making all kind of excuses to justify polygamy. Not ok in my book. Such bad example to teach their many children.
@@Zeb1245 only the people who have already set their mind to this old fashion, will follow this. So I don’t see how this lady is justifying polygamy and telling everyone that it’s a good idea. Having 2 or more wives during those times was pretty common.
I cant live this life BUT I can say that it's good they aren't toxic with each other. Esp with the kids around. The fact that he didn't allow for games or arguing etc. That's rare
Tus viv ncaus qhov koj hais ko yeej yog thiab. Tab si yuav tsum yog tus txiv txawj coj ncaj thiab tus niam yaus yuav tsum coj ncaj tsi txhob txeeb 2 cob 2 tus txiv lub neej thiaj li yuav zoo li ko.
Nej yeej siab loj, txawj sib coj, Sib zam, sib yoog kg lawm thov qhuas nej... yog coj tau li hais ces zoo xwb ntag nawd... txawm tug kav tug los yeej yuav tau ua Siab loj thiaj haum
Wow, women suppression at it's finest. These grandmas are in denial and what a great example to teach their many children - NOT! I'm sure if their many children wants to continue the practice polygamy because their parents have set such great example. I'm sorry but I am not 👏👏👏this grandma story. I'm not sure what she's trying to teach and there's nothing to learn from her. Please stop the practice of polygamy, this story continue to perpetuated the practice saying this is an acceptable behavior.
They're so stupid that they didn't even see or know they're being suppressed. Instead, they're being brainwashed to think that they're so mighty good people with big hearts bc they allowed their husbands to cheat and married two wives with opened arms.
One thing I caution May Vang, the story teller, is to stop telling these kind of stories. She should condemned these and refused to tell these stories. There's really nothing to learn from them and this practice needs to stop. We are a new generation, I don't care how good her husband is in bed as I'm sure his purpose of marrying more than 1 woman is to satisfied his ego. Again, horrible example to set for their children and grandchildren. Make me sick listening to this story.
Cas koj yuav txhawj dag ua luaj koj paub txaj muag txog txoj kev sib cav sib ceg saum txaj saum chaw ces koj yeej tsis yuav niam yau li os twb yog koj xav xav kom neeg ntiaj teb paub nej txoj kev saum txaj saum chaw es thiaj li yuav niam yau os
If he is willing to marry someone else, you no longer matter to him.. This is the reason why Hmong men have no respect for us Hmong women. We think they are the only men on earth and there is no one else... I have no respect for women like this.. i'm just so sorry
Yep and I'm not even sorry for this grandma. Strong women points out and stop other women from making these dumb decisions. When women can stand up and put our foot down to say enough is enough, that's why the practice stops. The change we want to see starts with us. Guess what, the men say they are able to continues this practice because women allowed them. They are very right on that point.
This story reminded me of my step mom’s story. She was the first wife of my dad. She did not have and biological kids but loved us dearly. Listening to this story makes me miss her so much. My bio mom loves cannot compared to her love for me...😭😭😭😭
tsismuajhunbncaim that is so sweet
Good for her for being able to live that life style. I on the other hand, CAN NOT and WILL NEVER.
Nrog nej tsev neeg zoo siab o niam tij thiab tij laug... Vajtswv foom koob hmoov rau nej tsev neeg o
Sorry this is not me, I can "Suab Loj" for other things, but not "Siab Loj" for sharing my husband to others.
Yep, siab loj for allowing polygamy in your marriage. That's just an excuse. Bad example for her children and grandchildren to see.
I agreed
P
Totally agree!!!
Would love to hear a story from a 1st and 2nd husband that share one wife under one rooftop 😏
Lol, love it n waiting for the day
Wow! Grandma, you are amazing 👏❤. Only few people Can do what you do. ❤
I believe there's txiv hlob txiv yau but story tellers refuse to tell. You should call may to tell those stories too.
@@maiher1164
สวยน
Yes im one and I love it. I will tell my story very soon watch for it ok im grandpa now
I don't know why she's bragging about how great her life is. First of all, she was brain wash that it's OK for her husband to have a 2nd wife. Why hmong woman always worship and put their man in a pedestal. That's not even a love relationship, sound more like it's a contract to be together. I hate this kind of story that is not equal right.
You think you are better!!! 🤫
Agree.
Lol, adapted to their environmental friendly, don't feel bad
Yes but she didn’t grew up in our time so a lot of women back then doesn’t think like we do now. She’s not promoting or bragging how great her life is but how big of a heart she has to accept and treat the other woman with love and respect and in return she also got respect and love from the other woman more than her husband giving it to her. You’re missing the whole point of this story.
@@louher4794 yes you're absolutely right. Thank you for making me understand better
Its 2021, let's hope that we don't have any hmong women who will degrade themselves like this no more. Its not about being "siab loj"- you men have it all wrong.
Yup not about being siab loj, it’s about being dumb. Hmong women like this was brainwashed by Hmong men.
It's a lifestyle decision. Who are we are to judge them? It seems like they had a plan and made it for the three of them. Kudos for them!
It's 2023 and I have 3 wives soo....yeah, we still the same
Oi! Tsuas yog nej cov niag pog laus thiaj ruam ruam taub haus loj loj es cia niag txiv dev muab nej tsuj cuag dev xwb os! Siab zoo npaum cas los thaum yus niag txiv dev tsis hlub yus lawm nyob tau dabtsis na? Mivnyuam tau txiv tabsis yus nev? Tag ib sim me neej no yus ua ib zaug neeg xwb tsim nyog mus nrhiav kom tau ib tus hlub hlub yus! Nrhiav kom tau ib tus kav ib tus es tsis txhob nrog luag sib txeeb qau!
Ruam xwb luag twb mus yuav ib tug los caij rau tus ntsia Es nim tias sib hlub ntuj aw..
Big heart it mean ruam xwb
I did big heart ❤ my husband & they family say I'm very ruam thiab tsis hlub my self
Finally I have no big heart and no respect any one I love my self
I don't care anyone
Girl, know your worth and know your non-negotiables. If you don't than you allow others to run your life and make decisions for you. It's not even about loving yourself, it's about knowing what you want and knowing when to cross that line in the sand. Stand your ground and don't be putting up with BS!
Ok 👌🏼
You’re too nice. Sorry I’ll never share, unless I’m being loved by 2 men’s lol 😂
Yup, 2 men…
Ob tug es Koj zoo lub siab yom
Lub neej li no tsuas yog xyoo 75 thiaj li xwb os niam tais aw. Yog txiv neej ua tsis tau siab loj ces peb yeej ua tsis taus thiab os. Hnub twg txiv neej ua taus siab loj rau pojniam yuav txiv yau thiab ces thiaj li ncaj ncees. Yus tus txiv yog yus nplooj siab yus yeej tsis lam kam share nrog leejtwg. Nws los nws yeej tsis kam share yus nrog lwm tus txiv neej
Her excuses is bullsh*t!! This grandma is sick thinking it's ok to practice polygamy because her life turned out great. What a great role model for her children and grandchildren. 🤢🤢
@@maipha8560 😂😂😂 I think this is the only way for her since she didn't want to lose her husband. She have to cave in to his desire or risk losing him. Back in the days, divorcing him when you already have children would be frown upon by her neej tsa.
@@pkcyang2910 I also know many strong women who stands their ground and kick her cheating husbands to the curb who are from that generation. Their life actually turned out better because they stopped needing to be submissive to their cheating husband. Less mouths to feed and less drama to deal with. Excuses and this lady is weak sauce.
@@maipha8560 she i do agree she's not strong to stay in this lifestyle.
Why does she make it sound like these kind of marriage is soo good. I find it disgusting.
Kuv mas nyiam noog cov neej neeg ua zoo li no tshaj plaws li kuv mas ntshaw tshaj plaws li kuv lub neej tsis zoo li no kuv tu siab kawg tab sis tsi ua cas kuv nrog nej zoo siab os
Don't know how these two ladies share this man God only made a man for a woman
It is rare to have the heart this Niam loj has. The love they share with everyone including the kids you don't see these individuals often. What a blessed heart she has.
Wow....neb txawj sib hlub kawg li os...kheev lam cov niam hlob niam yau lam txawj sib hlub lu nej xwb ntshe yuav zoo heev li os...nrog nej zoo siab kawg li os 👏👏👏
Lam piav thiab lam tham xwb os. Tsob ntseeg nawb hmoob.
It be a gold mine to find a woman like this in 2023. 😊
Wow, what a great story. People may think differently but I think this story is very rare. Only people with step parents will know but not here to judge 👍
Yog poj niam li poj niam lub siab me2 ti2 txhua yam ngob ntawm tus txiv seb nws ua puas taus txiv xwb yog hais tias nws ntawj coj ces yeej zoo xwb tab sis v xav tias cov txiv coj tau li no mas v xav tias muaj tsawg heev thov qhuas tus txiv tsev no nawb Ho txiv no thiaj tseem2 yog txiv neej yawg tiag nawb.......... Nej Txhob cem2 3 tug niam txiv no nawb nej yuav tsum xav hais tias yog nej nes nej twb ua g tau li lawv ua tab v kiag Los xyov v ua puas tau li lawv 3 tug niam txiv thov qhuas nej mog 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Who are we to judge other people's lifestyle, if they're all happy and can fill their household with love just be happy for them. This is not for everyone and can respect that she can hold her own in this relationship.
Thov qhua os tus phauj koj zaj zoo tshaj plaws uas kuv tau hnov cov niam loj niam me nawb mog thov kom lwm tiam muaj tiag nej rov tau los sib hlub li no Mus ntxiv dhau li ntawv cov txiv tsev yog nej coj tsis zoo thov txhob yuav vim yeej mob tiag li kuv los thov qhuas tus txiv hlob no uas koj musj lub siab hlub ncaj ncees thov ntuj foom koob Hmoov rau nej tsev neeg nawb mog
Niam tais you are 1 of few who can do what you did. I 👏 you.
Ewww...gross!! No 👏 from me. Justifying and making excuses for polygamy is not ok.
@@maipha8560 I don't agree with polygamy but I 👏 her for the goodness of her heart. I certainly will not allow that to happen for myself don't get me wrong
@@leefamily6061 goodness of her heart? Hmmm....what you permits, you promote.
@@maipha8560 she's able to care and love another woman children as her own, she's not bias.
Awesome story. Love how both women learn to get along with each other. Not every step families are bad. This is a rare one.
I truly hate these stories, good for you, but no, I am not having it.
Same here. I didn't learn anything other than these ladies are sick and making excuses to continue practicing polygamy. Make me 🤮🤮🤮 when I listen to this story. They set up such great example of a polygamy life that I'm sure their children will continue their practices.
Exactly. So old fashion. 😪
@@maipha8560 maybe she feel obligated to love and respect the second wife because she feel she was blessed by the second wife and had two sons. Because before the second wife came into their life she didn’t have any sons. So maybe she felt it was the second wife’s hmoov that helped her to have sons..??? Just my thought...
@@maivue284 please! Just excuses to continue the practice of polygamy. Children are gift sent from the Heaven, I don't think it works that way. If that's the case, anyone who doesn't have children or only girls or boys would've married a 2nd wife. Oh, how about the men who can't have children, I expect their wife to marry multiple husbands so they can have children. I hate polygamist and I don't care about the excuses, I want women to be treated with respect and dignity. Marrying multiple wives is not to benefit the women but suppression over women. We deserve more than that. That's my 2 cents. ✌️
@@maipha8560 yes totally agree with you.
I, for one do not agree on polygamy as well.
I’m not saying it’s right but just saying maybe that’s how she feels.
I only liked this video because of May. NOT because of this woman's life. I want my man ALL to myself! 🖒
😂😂😂 one man is enough, some of them are worst than children. Too much headaches to deal with. This grandma is sick. She needs help. This story made me 🤮🤮
Agree with you, the story is sick. How can you siab loj to someone that cheated on you.
@@angielo06 this story have the wrong name. Siab loj only to help people who are in need. Practicing polygamy crossed over being sick and siab phem. This grandma needs all the help she can get to undo this stuff she learned thinking it's ok. She thinks it's so great that she desired the same life in her next life. 🤢🤢🤮🤮
Couldn't agree more.
Her lesson is: she’s been brainwashed into believing this illusion, but we do not sleep under their bed. When my father married a second wife (here in America). My mother put up a strong front and was “nice” in public to others to keep my dad’s rep. But deep inside her heart, I saw how it destroyed her belief in love, her depression, her will to live and the hardship she endured. It’s just an illusion.
Hmoob npab nauj.. He’s the mastermind.. Please do not practice polygamy.
Yog kawg lub neej niam loj niam yau yog los ntawm tus txiv coj rau 2 leeg thiaj los ntawm tus niam loj sib loj li niam yau thiab cov me nyuam 2 tog thiaj sib hlub
Txhob.tham2.cov.neej.neeg.zoo.li.no.cov txiv.neej.muaj2.siab OS niam.ntsuab.teeb.aw
Yeej tsis muaj leej twg siab loj tau os. Tsuas yog lub neej yuam lawm xwb os.
No, thank you. I want a man who is all mine. I cannot share my man with anyone. I do not have a big heart when it comes to my man. Sorry.
Yog kj yeej hlub kj tu niam yau tiag 2 hauv kj lub siab tawm tuaj kj tsi muaj qhov nyiag siab thiaj haum li no niam yau thiaj hwm kj ne
Well" I'm gonna say it's their time and it's their lifestyle ok...it's not good for you"..and for me.but it's for them.and why?..you guys acting like it's your life? Comon...people...I'm sure they put all their times and Love and protect them self from the old way. Guys..
Zoo sab os Niam tais koj Yeej yog tu 1 kiag lawm mog
Hi thov qhua tu niam tsev no yog ib tug neeg siab loj thiab siab zoo thiaj li cov tau niam yaus los nyob ua ib tsev thov nej txhua tu txhob kam hai lus saib g tau tu niam tsev no nej cov poj niam yuav tau xyau ua ib tug niam tsev zoo li no nawb me niam tsev txhua 2 tu nawb
I don’t support this style of lifestyle but I applaud this author. She’s had to deal with the hand she’s given and made the best of it. Their times are different from ours now and we women won’t put up with this situation. She reminds me of my grandma. My grandma is a niam loj and was very patient and kind to her niam yau. We get along and love our niam yau’s children and grand children nowadays. There’s very few women like this woman & my grandma.
Beautiful story ❤️
What an amazing story. 1 in a million. Unfortunately, this isn't common and I still don't believe in polygamy.
Tsis zoo li os
That old generation . Hoping our younger generation learn from older generation .
Loved this story! Its so rare to have Niam loj and Niam yau get along. The husband did the right thing for allowing his Niam loj handle their life. Lots of props to these couple's!
Kj yeej hlub kj tu niam yau tiag2 hauv lub siab tiag
This is a story about choosing to be positive and not be bitter. It's not anyone's ideal lifestyle but she chose to expand her heart and accept the hand she was dealt. If she truly loves her step kids as she says, she's a better woman than most, better than me for sure. -Jonathan's Wife
This is a time that was loooong time ago when the ages and living experience was different than now. So listen or don’t but it’s her story.
Thov qhuas nej 3 niam txiv coj sib haum thiab txawj sibhlub. Tsawg tus thiaj coj tau li no xwb.
Emily herr Yeej yog li koj hais kawg. Tab sis yuav yog tus txiv txawj coj thiab yuav tsum yog tus niam yau txawj hwm tus niam loj thiab yuav tsum yog tus niam loj los nws coj zoo thiab os.
Kuv tus niam laus thiab kuv txiv laus nkawd kuj muaj niam yau thiab, tab sis mas lawv yeej txawj sib hlub sib haum zoo nkaus li zaj nov thiab hos.
Tsawm yog muaj cov poj niam zoo li koj es cov txiv neej mhoob thiaj tseem yuav 2 niam yau .
I'm sorry, but this is not siab loj. This is stupidity. PLEASE STOP referring the phrase "siab loj" to allowing your spouse to cheat, abuse, and mistreat you. I hate it when u alow ppl to walk all over u and mistreat you then it's "siab loj" and when u don't then they call u "siab me." These aren't even the correct terms.
Excuses, excuses to justify his suppressive behaviors. This lady is sick. Wishing that she can live the same life in her next life. 😝🤢
Exactly! My grandpa always say having a big heart doesn't mean putting up with other's BS.
It’s because of women like this that is the reason why hmoob men like this guy do what they do. I hope this lady don’t tell her daughters to grow up and “ua siab loj” for their husbands to do the same as her husband. This woman uses all her excuses in this story to justify her actions...pathetic!
This is what a true lady is big heart kind n loving!!!!
Big heart my ass. She's just saying it to look good but deep down she's hurting real bad so don't believe everything you hear
Yog....
Sister Helene Vu, this lady is sick. She definitely need alot of help to undo all that craps she thinks it's ok for polygamy. Make me 🤮🤮🤮 listening to her story. I didn't learn anything else other than her trying to promote polygamy.
@@MySunshine71 u are right. It’s very painful but she has no choice.
@@MySunshine71 i 💯% agree.
If you really to ask her, she killed him and the mistress daily inside.
Lab lab khub niam hlob niam yau tsuas muaj nej khub no xwb thiaj txawj coj os tus txiv txawj 2 tug niam los mloog lus txawj sib hais thiab thiaj li zoo
Lub neej niam hlob niam yau zoo li no muaj tsawg2 os. Only a few life like this. Ntshe yuav tau ua siab loj seb puas zoo.
zoo kawg yog cov tau li ko . Good for you.
Koj yeej yog ib tug neeg zoo kawg li os tiam sis qhov koj lam ua siab loj thiab uv ua ib lub neej niam hlob niam yau vim yog koj tsis muaj peev xwm tso koj tus txiv xwb. Txiv neej Hmoob ces thaum xav tau ntau tus ces yeej paub paub ntxias thiab hais txua yam kom poj niam kom poj niam yeem.
Dhuav cov neej niam hlob niam yau no tiag2 li lau. Tib cov neeg tsis muaj siab muaj ntsws xwb.
Ntuj txiv neej txoj kev siab loj quav dev. Peb cov pojniam siv siab loj seb nej yuav puas tau os
Nyob zoo os niam ntsuab teev
Tej zaj neej neeg zoo li no kuv thov nug koj tias ua koj ne koj puas yuav ua tau raws li zaj no thiaj os
Wow koj siab dawj kawj, I can't do that. Lol
Kuv xav kom kuv tus txiv yuav ib tug niam yau mloog lus li no los rau kuv tau txib thiab. Me nyuam coob, tau gifts ntau xwb.😂🎉
I’m not interesting to this story.
Zoo heev txawj coj txawj qhuab qhia siab loj siab dav siab ntev.
Tej lau ib txwm tia hlua taw kub txog luag hau toj ce yu zoo saib kawg tiam si thaum ho kub lo txog yu hau toj seb yu ho yuav zoo li ca peb ua neeg nyob thaum yu tau ib lub niag neej zoo li no lawm ce kawg sib uv sib zam txim ce yog qhov zoo xwb
These types of story is rare. Glad to hear that it is possible to have two wife’s. But nowadays two wife’s is not ideal.
Zaj no yog xyoo 75 xwb niam no yog xyoo 21 lawm, siv tsis tau lawm...
Don't give an excuse for your husband to justify his selfish decisions.
I agree 100%
Worst of all. She's giving herself an excuse to live such a lifestyle.
Tus niam loj no siab ntev kawg thov qhuas nws.
Koj lub siab zoo2 es yav laus no ntuj thiaj tso koj tus txiv rov los rau koj so quav so zis
Zaj neej neeg no Kuv nyaim tiag Tiag li
Wow lady, just only you can share. Even in dreams still doesn't buy me. I might not leave him, but I'll never be the same to such man. Before I leave, I'll make sure he goes bold! Yes....evil me, but he deserves it...
Cov niam txiv no yeej coj tau zoo kawg lawm tab sis peb hmoob cov muaj niam hlonmb niam yau coj tau zoo li no ces tsua muaj 10% xwb os dua li ces cov sib txeeb txiv thiab lub neej xwb os.
One way to get second wife OG sometimes only works back in Laos.
I just hate a husband who has too many wives no matter how much they all get together!!!
Kj hais neej neeg tau 4.5 xyoos no es niam qhuav muaj 2 los 3 zàj thiaj sib haum xwb
Though the time now is different from 50 years for many Hmong people, but looking back to the "niam yau" era, tus niam loj siab zoo ces yog koj. Niam loj txawj coj ces niam yaus feem ntau yeej yuav txawj fwm thiab. Glad it worked out for your and your family.
Ntuj aw tus niam tais aw hauv lub ntiaj teb no ces saus rau koj ib leeg thiaj ua tau txoj hauj lwm no xwb os thov qhuas koj nawb
Mloog mas nej lub neej niam Hlob niam Yau yeej txawj sib hlub kawg li. Cov uas ua niam loj niam Yau sib haum ces tsawg2 xwb tabsis tej zaum kuj yog tus txiv txawj coj tabsis yog hais txog qhov pw 1 txiag ces kuv tsis kam thiab tsis nyiam vim qias neeg thiab txaj muag heev
Neb 2 tug no khij xuaj heev nawb
Whatever excuses help you sleep at night I guess. 🤷🏻♀️ I on the other hand could never share.
Oh......ntuj aw lub neej lwj siab no ces yog niam hlob niam yau xwb kuv tseem hluas2 kuv twb tau ua niam loj dhuav tshaj plaws los pheej yuav tau nyob los vim hlub me nyuam dhau yog lwm tiam muaj tiag li lawv hais kuv tsis thov ntsib yog nws los ua neeg rau lub ntiaj teb no lawm ces kuv yuav tsis kam los tos nws los ua nws thib tag kuv mam los yog kuv los ua neeg lawm tsis pub nws los kuv dhuav tshaj ua rau kuv cia li xav tias ib tsoom txiv neej lub siab phem ib yam nkaus xwb no ua ib siab nyob tsis muaj tus hlub los thiaj tsis tos lawm xwb tiag hmoob......
Koj tus txiv tseem hlub koj xwb yog nws tsis hlub koj lawm koj yeej ua kom koj muaj kev tu siab muaj kev chim yog los ntawm tus txiv xwb
Neb mas yog tu txiv coj ncaj nawb....cov tsis sib haum yog tu txiv coj tsis ncaj....ib txhia txiv neej es tseem nyiag niam loj tej khoom pub rau tu niam yau es niam loj tsis paub zoo li no es ua cas sib haum...tej yam qab qab es niag txiv xam xam tsis pom niam loj mam li nyiag cev rau niam yau noj tu txiv zoo li no mas tsis haum li lau
I wouldn’t say that this woman has a siab loj. It’s more like “nws nyoos vim tus txiv dev ua ua liam dhau lawm.” She may have a big heart but having a big heart doesn’t mean submission but I guess people have to do what they can to be content with their marriage. I hope that her children and grandchildren can learn from this, so that they don’t repeat this pattern as the problem is still prevalent in the Hmong American community. It doesn’t matter if one is a guy or a woman bc respect goes both ways and relationships are a two way street. I’ve seen these Hmong guys who practice polygamy always complaining that their lives sucks bc of their wives, etc. But honestly, these type of men, filthy cis-Hetero men, ain’t shit. They can prevent further problems, if they think things through by not adding any more problems to their lives if they choose to divorce their wife, instead of acting like they’re gonna die if they cannot have their cake and eat it, too. Most Hmong ppl shouldn’t stigmatized divorced people, especially divorced Hmong women. I really do hope that Hmong women in the future can have their own identity that doesn’t revolved around their parents, in-laws, and their significant others.
I don't support these kind of marriages, but at least the husband cares for both wives. Most husband in this situation will only care for the second wife, and end up abusing the first wife. I'm just glad she's happy, and the only few couple with good ending unlike most other people with two wives.
This story irritates me. Smh
Bad example and bad role model for promoting polygamy. I'm sure she'll allowed her sons and daughters to practice polygamy because it worked out so perfectly for her. 🤢🤢
This is not a good example to show for the younger Hmong women who married, not married, or are baby mamas.
Yep! This story just goes to show how sick these 2 women are. Such a sad life making all kind of excuses to justify polygamy. Not ok in my book. Such bad example to teach their many children.
@@maipha8560 such examples like this pushes young Hmong women (and young Hmong men) to engage in unhealthy relationships.
@@Zeb1245 yep because we got sick people like this grandma who thinks her life was paradise. 🤮
I did not recall any of these stories to say go ahead and do what they did and that it’s a good idea and good example. Did I missed that part?
@@Zeb1245 only the people who have already set their mind to this old fashion, will follow this. So I don’t see how this lady is justifying polygamy and telling everyone that it’s a good idea. Having 2 or more wives during those times was pretty common.
Zoo kawg
Koj yeej yog ib tug uas siab loj txaus lawm os. Koj tus txiv thiab niam yet au los yeej txawj uv txawj txo fwj chim thiab nej thiaj nyob tau ua ke. Zoo li ib txhia txiv neej tsis txawj coj ces thiaj muaj2 kev sib khib.
I cant live this life BUT I can say that it's good they aren't toxic with each other. Esp with the kids around. The fact that he didn't allow for games or arguing etc. That's rare
Zoo siab qhov nej txawj sib hlub
nej pheej txawj2 sib hlub es txiv neej hmoob thiaj tsis tseg txoj kev no li ne.
Tus viv ncaus qhov koj hais ko yeej yog thiab. Tab si yuav tsum yog tus txiv txawj coj ncaj thiab tus niam yaus yuav tsum coj ncaj tsi txhob txeeb 2 cob 2 tus txiv lub neej thiaj li yuav zoo li ko.
Nej yeej siab loj, txawj sib coj, Sib zam, sib yoog kg lawm thov qhuas nej... yog coj tau li hais ces zoo xwb ntag nawd... txawm tug kav tug los yeej yuav tau ua Siab loj thiaj haum
Wow niam tsis Aw zoo kawg mas yeej yog nej txhua tus zoo ib yam es thiaj ua tau ib lub neej ua ke os
Sister koj lucky es neb tau ib tug txiv coj ncaj nruab nrab ntug es neb thiaj li sib haum os.
Sorry, I can't do that.
Lub neej niam loj niam yau tsis txhob qhuas2 tsis muaj neej agreed nrog koj yog siab ntev Kom lub neej zoo thaib tus txiv hlub yus ib leej xwb mas yog siab ntev rau txiv yuav niam yau xwb ces qhuav dev xwb os.
Tus niam loj no zoo kawg li os.
Kuv los yeej zoo ib yaj li tus niam tsev koj hais kod thiab qhov koj khib thiab npau taws rau kkoj tus txiv thiab tus niam yau tsis ncaj ncaj neces koj ua neeg phem ces tib ntsais muag xwb txhua yam puas tag lawm hos koj ua zoo mas xyaum ntev heev thiaj ua tau tab sis kav koj tsev neeg mus ib sim neej kwv tij neej tsa zej zog hwm thiab qhuas koj muaj ntsej muag puv npo mus ib sim neej nawb mog
Wow, women suppression at it's finest. These grandmas are in denial and what a great example to teach their many children - NOT! I'm sure if their many children wants to continue the practice polygamy because their parents have set such great example. I'm sorry but I am not 👏👏👏this grandma story. I'm not sure what she's trying to teach and there's nothing to learn from her. Please stop the practice of polygamy, this story continue to perpetuated the practice saying this is an acceptable behavior.
They're so stupid that they didn't even see or know they're being suppressed. Instead, they're being brainwashed to think that they're so mighty good people with big hearts bc they allowed their husbands to cheat and married two wives with opened arms.
Polygamy for the OGs and young Hmong women becoming baby mamas and waiting for their cheating deadbeat baby daddies to change are never ok.
One thing I caution May Vang, the story teller, is to stop telling these kind of stories. She should condemned these and refused to tell these stories. There's really nothing to learn from them and this practice needs to stop. We are a new generation, I don't care how good her husband is in bed as I'm sure his purpose of marrying more than 1 woman is to satisfied his ego. Again, horrible example to set for their children and grandchildren. Make me sick listening to this story.
Cas koj yuav txhawj dag ua luaj koj paub txaj muag txog txoj kev sib cav sib ceg saum txaj saum chaw ces koj yeej tsis yuav niam yau li os twb yog koj xav xav kom neeg ntiaj teb paub nej txoj kev saum txaj saum chaw es thiaj li yuav niam yau os