[Intellectually gifted] Dating and romantic relationships
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ค. 2021
- Read my book "How to handle neurotypicals" ! Amazon.com: amzn.to/3paQsmz, Kobo: bit.ly/abelsonKobo, Amazon.co.uk: bit.ly/abelsonUK, Barnes & Noble: bit.ly/abelNTBN
In this video: My experience and advice, by and for intellectually gifted/neurodivergents, on dating and relationships.
Bio: At forty years of age, I discovered that I was and am intellectually gifted. Suddenly my eternal “otherness” is no longer a flaw. It is being called an asset, a plus, a gift … Let's discover how we, the neurodivergent - intellectually gifted, Asperger, autism spectrum (ASD), ... can live a full, authentic and realized life in a world predominantly (by definition) populated by neurotypicals.
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Extremely helpful video. Thank you!
You are very welcome, glad you liked it!
@@Abel.AbelsonHow is your life now after 2 years of marriage? Do you have better self esteem? Do you feel connected to others these days? Do you feel loved? Satisfaction in life? Maybe you would like to do a video update.
The easiest relationships are the ones with people inside of your communication range. They are also the hardest to find.
Yes,to hard! You will be alone for a long time just because you don't find a person who is not to superficial or thinks you are boring. Be alone is the safest zone to avoid weird conversations😂
very true XDXD you need RANGE. SO, social media is lit.@@Tiago-jm4cg
One of the huge benefits of a high IQ is never being bored or tired of one’s own company. Although v social I require an equal amount of time alone. To this end I planned my life so that I can afford to spend three hours each morning reading and thinking. Pure research. Learning for the sake of learning. I don’t mean as a dilettante but a scholar. Not learning ‘ facts’ by rote but rather , for example, reading a new paper In physics prior to thinking about the postulates included therein - and having the humility to learn mathematical techniques as found in the text. These are the gifts we are given and are lost on normies.
Abel , i patiently await your return to youtube. I know so many others do as well. We love the videos and i urge you to make a comeback to this space. Thanks for all you have contributed to our lives.
What a beautiful story... I wish that for myself. 🙂
Like you, I find it useful to remind myself that "shallow" is indeed what typifies NT relationships, broadly speaking.
We, on the other hand, thrive on being understood intellectually, emotionally, and existentially, more so than being seen or heard in the herd.
It's delicate but full of potentiality. We are nothing if not intense in our love of bridging the gap between all things living.
"That's the good stuff", as one Robin Williams would say, in "Good Will Hunting".
I miss him dearly...
Thanks, Abel. I wish you and Yuriria all the best. 🙂
Thank you😊
Really helpful video Abel. I can relate to it 100%. I used to believe my notions and beliefs on romance and relationships were "unrealistic" and "delusional" because everybody thought otherwise and always have had a difficult time finding romantic interests as I hardly felt in sync with people. Your videos have been enlightening and refreshing as always. Thank you.
I feel the same way in dating, also avoiding a lot of people ....
Hey Abel, I discovered your channel a couple of days ago and i haven't stopped watching your videos since. I am as well a member of Mensa and I've been trying to find someone similar to myself who could guide me trough life with this giftedness since I'm only 20 and I feel like I've mentally surpassed most adults that are supposed to give me advice. Thank you so much for all of the videos that you made, you helped me feel understood and you gave me hope that people like us can manage to find their place in this world. I am sad to see that you've stopped filming and I really hope that you'd come back. In the meantime, while waiting for more content, I'll make sure to read your book :)
Such a gift having you ☺️👏🏾
Literally took the words out of my mouth lol
You have no idea how much you've helped with your videos. I absolutely love to hear you speak, since I share a lot of theories and identify myself with everything you say! I discovered about three months ago I was intellectually gifted, and always struggled with a lot of what you talk about in most videos. I hope you come back to post more videos. Thank you
this comes at a perfect point in time in my life. it shows the huge challenges when engaging into a relationship with someone who is less or not compatible.
You should've never stop making videos. All your research and information helped me a lot.
I am inspired to start a neuro divergent dating app.
I was typing “You are so handsome.” and then you mentioned having a wife and I proceeded to delete LOL.
Also, I loved your love story with your wife! It felt beautiful🥹🌸
Thank you, that's really kind of you :).
Oh, dear 😃
😊 that's the cutest comment I've ever seen ❤
Hi Abel, your content is so great and helpful. Please keep updating if possible. 😀
I also have found it difficult to find suitable connections, romantically, with neurotypicals. I often thought it was strange how quickly they go through the stages of courtship & now all of a sudden they are bf+gf or getting married with someone who, from my perspective, they hardly know anything meaningful about! Very befuddling!!!!
I enjoy connecting with others who seem to also be neurodivrrgent; however, I have also noticed that many of us are conditioned or hurt in such a way that affects us, be it psychologically, in attachment style, or maladaptive personality characteristics. I know many who are in such internal (mental/emotional) pain that they have addictions or mental diagnoses. It makes it difficult, like you say in this video, to recognize & even trust one another!
By the way, I just finished your book last night. The guide on handling neurotypicals. Wow! It was so refreshing to read that I am not the only one who sees these things or thinks this way. It helped to bring a lot of disparate pieces & experiences together & really begin to make sense of it all (finally). It was also quite a wake up call as well because no one ever explains these things so simply or directly. You suggest things like learning social dynamics or non-verbal body language, & it’s funny to me that I unconsciously was drawn to learn such things because it seemed to provide a clearer picture for me to understand someone easier. Because the lizard confuses us on what the monkey does 😅. I remember a politician asked me what I studied in school, business & psychology; he said he wished he would’ve studied such things - this was the first time anyone validated the strange mix of topics I studied in university. Everyone else (maybe typicals) would say how strange my studies were. It gave me a good chuckle at the very end too because I had recently watched the movie referenced, perhaps serendipitous that I read your book at this time.
Now, thanks to your collection of observations, I feel a little better equipped to go out into the “big bad world” once again. Which is good because I have to relocate very soon, too 😂!!!!
Thank you Abel Abelson!
P.S. is this a pen name, & how did you come up with it?
Oh, is it not his real name??? I'd be disappointed hahah
About NTs rushing into relationships, I remember a quote from a book I have, forgot whose it was, but essentially it said that the average person picks the socks he wants to wear more carefully and rationally than picking a life partner.
Not to say TIME spend getting to know the person is to determine the union's success, though- some matches ARE made in Heaven and the people click immediately. And some spent years in "getting to know each other" only to fall apart or become an insufferable or abuse couple later on.
😂 If I didn’t know better I’d say that you are a psychologist rummaging through comments on TH-cam topics like this. Psychological informal assessments by proxy? 😏😄 Of course, I’m wrong.
When i watch your videos is like hearing my thoughts from someone else's mouth, very good content i relate a lot keep doing it
thank you for sharing your experiences and insights
A lot of the advice you have is great for everyone. I think it’s good to meet someone who’s aligned with your values and ways of life. However, in terms of dating, the goal should not be to have an outcome. It’s a space to meet someone and see what they are like, it’s only really fun if you have no expectation. You might meet people who are not compatible with you romantically but it can expand your understanding and confidence in being around new people.
I have heard similar advice, like "maybe different ideas but same core values". The part about having similar minds though, similar processing is so true! I had never thought about relationships that way. I've had friends before that had similar interests to me but we just didn't click precisely because of this, they couldn't understand me, and I they. An extra point though, as has been my personal experience; when I was younger I also wasn't keen on small talk and dating, so I rushed into relationships with awful people. What I recommend to other neurodivergents is take your time to know the other person as a friend, see if your minds' circuitry is compatible, and let them try to impress you, especially if you're a woman/femme presenting. If someone is barely making an effort for you, or outright doesn't even try, things are bound to go badly.
If I may comment of the end of your message: unfortunately, in modern Western societies men no longer feel compelled to "prove" anything to the woman, waiting for her patiently and being a gentleman. Why? Because there is too much offer, easy women are everywhere and if he is of the ultra-modern kind, he may hiss at the prospect of making an effort for you and go look for an easy chick instead. It's not complicated, really.
Similar with marriage: since it is a huge, adult responsibility to take (having one's own family to take care of), and since it was, just a generation or two ago, the only legal setting to HAVE a mate for life (living together etc), it is WAY easier for modern Western men to just move in with the current gf who is willing to do so, then move on to the next one, and the cycle may repeat.
Women shouldn't be as easy, imo, but it's a hugely unpopular opinion nowadays, I realise.
@@timefortee This is true, of course it depends on individual priorities but perhaps I have this way of thinking because I'm very comfortable with being on my own forever were it come to that, I am able to support myself and have great friends and family. Still, I think we shouldn't strive to center our lives around pleasing people that are just don't care, it makes for an unhappy existence and defeats the purpose.
@@RisenRosePhoenix Definitely! It would be a massive waste of our limited lifetime here.
How would that apply to a man in a dress
Thanks for sharing your perspective.
Abel, my emancipation from being overly articulate about my feeling came when I tried not being so open about my internal state. You know what ai found? No difference at all to my emotional equilibrium. A problem aired is a problem shared is trite nonsense. I do have two friends I can turn to for advice I trust and respect but even with them I no longer freight our space with notes on my internal life. V liberating. Means I can be of greater to help to other students
Why do I always agree so much with you? :-) Another great video, I hope you post new ones soon.
I appreciate this perspective so much, thank you for sharing it! I too have found “dating” to be so forced, contrived, and just plain odd. There is an important intersectionality between knowledge of self and being able to have fulfilling relationships, because so many people tend to change themselves to be what they think the other person wants them to be, and then the relationship becomes fake. This is a great reminder to me to continue to be boldly connected to myself, my own interests and joys, and to trust that community and connection will follow :)
Relationships are built on self sacrifice and devotion to another. Your self interest will fail
So…..masochism? Yikes.
I think finding someone who is more invested in their own goals rather than ours is much more appealing. So yes, be yourself , dont try to fit in, trust in god.
Completely agree @@TheAngryDoctor92 (edit: except for the part about god, since I'm an atheist [or sometimes maybe deviating towards being agnostic I guess :) ] )
I started reading your first book.
Your book and videos are great.
Thank you very much! So glad they're meaningful to you!
Thank you for this! I kind of agree. Out of three boyfriends I had, I'd say the last one was quite intellectually gifted, and although he was more academic than me, we complemented each other as I am very reflective at existential/psychological subjects and very much in tune with a bigger purpose. I think we really matched each other. The problem for me is that he had Asperger's and a very tense situation at home. That ended up being problematic and causing a lot of discussions. At one point I was very burnt out and feeling bitter about it, and we finally split up. Still, I hold great love for him and wish him the best.
But in general, it's just that also my other 2 boyfriends were not neurotypical, not necessarily intellectually gifted, and it appears to be the people I find interesting happen to have some sort of psychological condition that makes them unstable. It's hard to find the right one.
I hope you’ve found someone who understands you. I’m autistic among other things, and I’m 18. I’m really struggling honestly. It seems like every relationship I start hurts me. I sacrifice my happiness for others, and I don’t know why. I’ve always thought “if I give up more, maybe it might work”. I just don’t want to feel alone anymore, but when someone is around it feels like I’m more alone then ever. One day I hope I find someone that I don’t have to pretend around. I want to stop pretending that I don’t do enough, stop forgiving everything that people do to me. Stop being so hard on myself. Stop overthinking. I really hope I can truly change someone’s life for the better, even if it’s one person. Relationships are the most complicated thing I’ve ever tried to figure out 🤦♂️:(
@@Biggest-Ounce you're really young, you'll figure things out as you grow. My advice, follow lots of accounts about sprituality, motivational videos and self-growth mindset (instagram, youtube...). You will get a lot of insight that will help you. It did it for me and even when I was not surrounded by people who understood me, I could have infinite possibilities online to learn about my difference and what I could bring to the world. Watching youtube videos like the ones from The Skin Deep really help. As you meet people, you learn from their insight, from their problems... You also learn how to establish your limits little by little while still being open to connecting. You have to imagine better in order to achieve better,. You have to learn to deserve more than what you are resigning yourself with. And if you work at it, with time, you will!!
I can relate to what you share. I am a neurodivergent person and find dating a very unnatural process, like trying to turn a river into a canal 😊. Thanks for sharing all this stuff!
Thanks, Abel. I recently came across you on TH-cam, and watched 2 of your videos, and had it in my mind to ask you about this topic of dating as an intellectually gifted person with Autism. So, you have answered my question. 🙂
Fabulous 🙂. Thanks for commenting!
Great advice, thank you!
You're very welcome 🙂
You always have something very interesting to say. I wish you would make more videos.
For me reading your books works much better. I can stop and breathe < because some parts are so hard and so close to how you feel yourself.
That I had to fall down and process a hole day.
Thank you for the excellent video as always. My younger brother who has autism has an iq of 175+, you really help me understand him and the way he thinks, thank you so much!
@@Kostasthirty3 for what ?
What I find about your intellect and only from the one video that I just saw recently is that your words/sentences and how you express yourself are childlike. I haven’t come across it before, so it’s very unusual to me.
thanks abel!
That is so good.
When you speak of indifference you don’t mean in a solipsistic sense, one hopes. I concur if you mean indifference toward a myriad of fascinating phenomenon the world offers. In this sense, yes, people’s lack of curiosity I find depressing and awfully painful. People seem to live without paying attention.
Abel, I'm reading your _Neurotypicals_ book and there are some very helpful and eye-opening ideas you share!! I love the "mental bubble" imagery, it's immediately applicable and super useful (I had previously only thought of "personal bubbles" more in an occupational and material sense).
Do you think there is also a CONSCIOUS element to the average NT mental bubble being so restricted and rigid? As in: indifference (out of egoism) and preferring to stay in one's cute 'n cozy _comfort zone_ ???
In general, I think consciousness comes just after the facts, not before. But that's a very personal and philosophical understanding of reality. (If you're interested in this, read my little book "I, the fly". It's in a sense my best and most underrated - or more precisely unknown - work, extremely simple at the surface but actually life changing if you let it sink in and work with the idea.)
@@Abel.Abelson I mean "conscious" as in "I am aware of phenomenon X and I choose to do action Y", the latter ranging from total involvement to utter indifference.
Meaning, if an NT (but not exclusively) is aware of a given issue but consciously chooses to ignore, perpetuate or even exacerbate it... he is actively doing the wrong thing, one can't excuse him of a mental bubble too small to include the issue (it could be concerning his own son, for example) or of not being intellectually capable of comprehending the implications (if he is).
The size and the contents of his mental bubble are partially the product of his own personal choice (nature + nurture + free will).
@@Abel.Abelson It's like listening to music. You hear the interval. You can only be listening after it is happening.
Let me ask you about a thought experiment. Imagine you are beamed through a teleport-like transport system (like in Star Trek) and your components are deliberately disassociated with each other so that your pattern can be moved through space and reconstructed at a new location. The idea being that the parts are not as restricted to transport as the whole. Would you be able, Abel, to tell if your consciousness is different or would it be like going to sleep and waking up? Does consciousness require a consistent experience or are we always dying in each and every moment? Is it the same consciousness always or is it a new consciousness every time we wake up?
I don't think i am intellectually gifted, but i would really like to talk to you in real life. I'm just interested in what your opinion is on some things. Just a little debate would be cool.
Abel, you changed how i see the world quite a bit. Growing up i always felt that something was “off” - it seemed like people make decisions that i would never make and it really bothered me. I was under the faulty belief that everyone is the same as me - if i can do it then anyone can do it, nothing special. First encounter with reality was discovering Jungian cognitive functions which I studied deeply and they really helped me understand others better. However, you have added a new layer on top, giving me a more clear image of who people really are and how they function. Reading fountainhead also helped. You are very interesting and funny to me - I sometimes burst out laughing when u say exactly what I think. I know if I showed this to a normie they would find u offputting or at least a little bit weird. This aligns with the fact that the more fake I am the more people like me (generally speaking). Your book will be the first one that I don’t pirate or find for free, you deserve every penny that book costs. Finally I wanted to ask - how do u deal with the feeling “why me?” From an early age I couldn’t understand this, why am I the “chosen one”, why can’t I be like them or why can’t they be like me? It’s not that I’m bad at making friendships, people actually call me charismatic and outgoing but this goes back to the faker is better. And I hate lying to people or giving them a false sense of who I am, even if it’s necessary. That concludes my bible in the comment sections, wish u only the best!
I think the "why me" stops when you truly start to focus on people (more or less) like you and simply let the others be, without expecting anything else from them than what they already are and do, nor needing anything from them because you find it with the people (more or less) like you. Let the idea of neurodivergence sink in profoundly and perfuse everything you think, want, expect and do, and most of these types of problems simply vanish by themselves...
@@Abel.Abelson I’m already going in that direction and finding so much joy talking with people or just helping others who are like me. I understand what u mean completely but I guess will take some time to internalise it fully. The hardest part is accepting this within ur family, when you want the best but seem to do the worst. It does get easier but then I lose touch with people that should be the closest to me. It’s not like I can stop my unconditional love for my family. Anyways, thanks for the answer, will give me something to chew on
Oh finally someone aware of CFs and the types!! What do you think are Abel's conscious functions? I asked him if he (his whole fam actually) was TiNe (INTP) but he wasn't interested in the types thing. Btw what is your own type? You prob have Ti, as well??
Update: oh OK, I saw the beginning of a video of yours and you totally look ENTP.
@@timefortee yeah I’m an ENTP all the way through. I also think Abel is an INTP he seems to think very similarly to me but less chaotic. I do think mbti is quite surface level but it helps me group people which takes away the chaos element. What I dislike about mbti is that it kind of makes u adopt certain aspects that you wouldn’t have adopted, if everything else wasn’t so true. Confirmation bias of sorts. I want to get to my “source” and I feel like mbti might stand in the way some times. Regardless, it’s the best system I’ve found. What’s ur type? :)
@@timefortee him being intp would also explain his problems getting along with people not like him, that Fe inferior really shines. I hate getting along with neurotypicals (for the most part) but it seems quite effortless to me if I do decide to. I view it as a game where I know the rules. Also could u elaborate on I look like an entp. Did u mean sound like or is there some mbti physiognomy I’m not aware of?
I have just started watching this video. All activities with any human beings are exceedingly uncomfortable. Painful. But, I strongly desire to know and get to know other people.
I'm also incredibly distrusting from experience, observations, and my neurodivergence.
Still watching video (:
Hey man! Miss your videos! Any update? Whats your view about fermi paradox, the mind body problem, ideal system of government? Or how about the Concept of personal freedom in nowadays situation… how to overcome depression and lack of meaning for neurodivergent? many topics to explore. Hope you and your family are ok, thank you for all your videos
Hi, thanks for the encouragement 🙂. I'm investigating C-PTSD now, have a look at it too, I think it's especially relevant for neurodivergents and has a lot to do with depression and other symptoms later in life.
i never understood "opposites attract each other". it becomes difficult to sustain a real relationship if there are no connection points between each other
I think it might be true to a certain extent, as in an introvert being compatible with an extravert, etc. In Jungian/ MBTI terms.
Hi Abel! Thank you veeeery very much for your content. I would like to ask you for a video about work paths. In case you have some advice. I already know a few things: I like quite spaces, where I wouldn't be supervised by a boss the whole time, having my freedom etc. But well, honestly, I'm struggling. Being gifted, proletarian...well, dealing with capitalism. Thanks in advance!! A Spaniard living in Berlin.
I love your videos. I have autism and I am intellectually gifted too. I doubt you’ll see this, but will you ever start posting videos again?
your love story is beautiful, it sounds like it could be the plot of a shojo manga! ❤️
Hey Abel, off topic I know however are you aware of the work of Bernardo Kastrup ? He is immensely gifted. The reason I mention him is that I’d like to expose you to the ideas Bernardo promulgates as the premier philosopher in the Ontological Idealism camp. Convinced you’ll find this philosophical paradigm fascinating if not nourishing
I’m not intellectually gifted so I’m not relating to all your experiences (thank you for sharing).
For me IQ doesn’t matter when it comes to personal relationships. I can only be in an intimate relationship if I trust that person (which is result of them having a functional moral compass pointing to the true North), and if they genuinely care about not just me but about ‘us’. Good sense of humour helps, too.
As for dating… I am hopelessly romantic. (Please, don’t laugh at me). I phantasise about my date coming to take me out, both of us dressed in nice (don’t read expensive) clothes, holding a flower for me. A candlelight dinner with nice music, before going to a music show (I like opera, even though I invariably embarrass myself and others because it (live music in general) makes me very emotional). Then, of course if the relationship is advanced enough, mad and artful lovemaking (sorry, oversharing here 😄).
Hi Abel, I'm very curious how often as well as how you and your wife resolve conflicts/fights. I'm wondering based on what you can tell, if you and your wife have less fights/resolve conflicts better than most neurotypical couples. I would speculate that having a high IQ in your case seems to be correlated with higher interpersonal/intrapersonal intelligence, would make conflicts with your partner less frequent and would also make conflict resolution easier since conflict resolution seems to be in large just complexity management. Or is there other factors that yields an inverse of my speculation? (I'm young and not married so I was wondering what marriage/partnership would look like for a neurodivergent/high IQ individual.)
Also I absolutely adore and treasure your videos, I highly appreciate your insightful and well-articulated explanations of various complex topics/perspectives. It has helped me tremendously :))
While I'm not the OP, I'm in relationship with a fellow HSP/High IQ partner. It's a double-edged sword. We enjoy the benefit of high levels of emotional intimacy and very stimulating conversations, but conflicts can be tricky because of our tendency to over-intellectualize or analyze. We deal with anxiety and OCD and conflict can trigger a flooded nervous system, a lot of fearful catastrophizing, and impulsive behavior which damages the relationship if not put in check.
I am a neurotypical myself and I always found dating to be a waste of time. And you are write, I would find my romantic partners in a spanish language club or a salsa dance class
Abel, I’ve just read “Setting free the intellectually gifted” and there is a question that it is really bothering me: I’ve met really intelligent people in my life (people whose IQ I do not know but I’m pretty sure they had high IQ) and I did not see in them the sensitivity that you show in your book and that I relate myself to.
Is there a possibility that some part of the high iq population does not have the sensitivity aspect of the neurodiverse pattern ?
Oh yes, definitely. A lot of factors come into play that have a huge influence on behaviour, and that are very diverse among the group of people that's lumped together around the very crude concepts of intelligence and IQ. One of those is prenatal and actual testosterone, it has both an influence on the development and "architecture" of the brain (acting as a substance that alters development), and on the current behaviour (kind of acting as a drug). But there are others, of course...
It is impossible to meet a lot of intelligent people (even in medical school because you don't need to have higher than 120) in your life when the lowest considered high iq (130) is 1 out of 50, and above that the numbers change dramatically, so that tells me u are just not good at spotting a person with high iq
Hi Abel! It was wonderful to find your channel. I wanted to ask you if you have any recommendations when choosing a type of therapy. I have tried cognitive-behavioural and Gestalt. In both I have found advantages, in neither I have been able to fully connect with the therapist (and one of them was gifted too). Thank you very much!
Hi! I think the personality of the therapist is most important. I see a psychologist that's specialized in trauma and C-PTSD and I think he does a great job, but his colleagues are schooled equally and I don't like them (as therapist)... Anything that's not psychoanalysis might be okay, I think, as long as the therapist is.
@@Abel.Abelson I see, thanks, make total sense. I guess it's a matter of trial and error. Thank you!
@@Abel.Abelson la única de
@@Abel.Abelson de los
May I ask you, what do you do for living?
Have You ever considered making video about ADHD in context of intellectual giftedness?
I don't think I personally have ADHD and I prefer to talk about stuff I have personal experience with, so, no, not really. I think I would have to leave that one to someone else.
Do you plan on making more videos? No pressure or rush, just curious.
I'm investigating a few other themes, C-PTSD mainly, and would like to talk about that but I 'm not ready yet 🙂.
I Abel, hope you are fine. What about the video on MONEY? 👋
hello , this is my first time commenting on your channel , and I do agree with you about the compatibility , I've always questioned the relationship I have with my best friend we've known each other since we were 12 or 13 and we've changed ever since but we're still close we still understand each other even tho our families are somewhat different with traditions , my friend is way more mature with making rough decisions than I so we're definitely very different too , and it makes me think about A video that I saw about how Asperger young girls tends to make good friendship with more confident girls to learn from them ?
with the dating subject I also agree with you a lot , I find dates to be very cringe , I'm still young so sometimes I worry about my future romantic relationship , it makes me feel like I'm picky ! , more specially because I was born in a traditional and closed society ( closed only when compared to the west ) which is a good thing for nerodivergent here , I think that the west focuses more about individuality which can be hard for different people to live in , but here its tribalistic I don't have to always depends on myself to make relationships , I feel very much like everyone but also little unsettling feeling of different , it can be good and bad to feel like this .
Your perception of dating being awkward and that sharing activities, interests or just life in general is a much more effective approach to create connections is something that a huge amount of neurotypicals also agree with. I feel like you sometime tend to label things too broadly. "This is a neurodivergent thing", "this is a neurotypical thing".
The best panacea for chaos is a belief in a Higher Power of your own understanding. I practice this by getting up each morning with a plan. Then I hand my will over to the God of my private understanding. This greatly assists one to let go and cease trying to control everything. I’m not a religionist. I believe God is evolving and we exist to witness their creation. Through the pooled experience of all sentient beings does this God update their self and evolve. To experience is our sole purpose.
Abel. I have watched your previous eight or nine videos. May I request you talk about your interests in philosophy. Like are any philosophers you favor? You have me at a disadvantage since I hadn’t taken the pre-natal Testosterone level hypothesis seriously until your video on the subject sent me off down the rabbit hole researching the idea. Neither did I take the finger ratio concept seriously until concluding my research. Not sure which category you fall into, however I was a high T prenatal fetus. My finger ratio is ridiculously pronounced. Additionally I was always the tallest in my class, now measuring 192cm. Other predictors are left-handedness in men and a sensitivity to allergies. The aforementioned are also predictors of high G. The public’s view of the high IQ individual is extant in popular culture - see Big Bang Theory - there’s this canard that being overly endowed in one area is naturally lacking in an other, hence the cliche of the socially inept High G nerd. This is completely wrong. High IQ correlates with sociability. Without exception my three closest friends, all but one with IQ equal to mine. The outlier is a rare person indeed; a woman with an IQ 146. I digress, my point is all of us are socially well equipped. This phenomenon explains why the higher up society’s echelons you venture the more socially able are the people you encounter. Certainly a school like Eton College comprehends this as illustrated by their entrance policy. Even Oppenden students are mad clever. Furthermore Eton places a fair amount of emphasis on turning out well rounded and socially tooled up young people.
ya dating its for me a kind of marketing thing and and i really dont like it too , it can be easy for me (i thonk) to sell me but im just not confortable with the idea to calculate the information that im givin and the information that the women receive and want and all that kind of stuff
Can you name the study you were referring to in the video?
O, I'm sorry, I stopped keeping references of all the studies I read because in general nobody's interested anyway 🙂. So I just keep the gist in memory and add it to my models of reality. I used to keep the references in order to convince people, but that doesn't work anyway😉.
As you are aware, the average human’s presiding motivation is security. The correlat between G and security bring ones principle motivator decoheres significantly every standard deviation above average G. One cannot trivialize the impact of a different innate principle motivator. Yes, you’re right. If one is motivated by a deep yearning to learn to understand as much of the world as one can …. Well …. the world isn’t built for such people; us. Nor should it be. My IQ score puts me in the .02% of the pop.
Look, it’s about having the intellectual capacity and probity to ask oneself philosophical questions. Most are freighted with a surfeit of the aforementioned
Abel, what are you up to now?
So the key is to look for someone like me.........Oh great.
Ikr hahhaha
@@timefortee I haven't lost hope of finding a God fearing genius woman.
@@mememaker9146 I fear God but I don't think I'm a genius hahah
@@timefortee Humbleness is also good.
I prefer the terms neuro-modern for neuro-typical and neuro-historic for neuro-divergence. The average intellect today has been selected via evolution to be the most common because we're not hunter-gatherers living in small tribes anymore where pure intellect/brainpower is a major factor of survival, we live in a complex social society where it's commonplace that we support eachother. This means a high IQ doesn't need to be as common amongst the population anymore for the survival of our species, which means much less selection pressure associated with IQ; less need for high IQ people. It's my understanding that from the time when we were hunter-gatherers to current day, mutations have accumulated in key intelligence genes which has had less and less effect on the survival of an individual because of the advantages of living in larger societies, and so a high IQ isn't as common anymore, Hence neuro-modern for what is typical or average nowadays and neurohistoric for what was most advantageous at the dawn of our species when we were hunter-gatherers.
helo is it possible i chat with you somewhere?
LOL, straight to the point "i hate dating"
Can stem cells increase iq for healthy adults ?
Hope you are doing well
Yes I am, thank you!
@@Abel.Abelson Great to hear from you!
7:49 7:52 7:52 7:54
👍👍👍👍thank
You're very welcome 🙂.
It has been a ling time since you posted. You okay?
Thank's for asking 🙂. No, not really, I'm having major relationship issues. Which I'm working on and will survive, as I have survived everything else too 🙂. But it's not an easy time for me. Don't worry, I'll be fine, and thanks again for asking, that's very kind of you.
@@Abel.Abelson
Please do check coach Corey Wayne's TH-cam channel, it will help you a lot to understand the nature of most issues between men and women, most likely yours too.
where could I find your email address or anyway a contact to talk to?
Last girl I dated had significantly lower IQ than me and it was impossible because she couldn't understand me at all
Is there any way to increase iq?
i am not gifted, i am lazy 😢
and love to have love and emotions and romance like movies, but i am lazy so you are gifted, can you help me??
Sounds all good to me, I don't think you need help :). Apart from that, nobody is lazy, you're probably simply not motivated so what you need to do is find out what gives you energy and do more of that 😉 for the simple reason that you feel like doing more of that. And/or you may have a kind of latent depression, in that case find a kind psychologist who will definitely help you with that.
@@Abel.Abelson my friend you have a kind of being too deep in logic
like you where saying that i should move and no such a thing called lazines
like there is a motor so in ether case i will go , and if i didnt the problem with the direction that represnt the motivation
or the motor itself that represnt depression
my friend boredom and lazines is trully obnoxious , till me as a gifted adult what do you do . especially when you have good things to say but no one listen
Do you think it's possible for someone neurodivergent with IQ above 140 to match with a neurotypical woman??
Where is bro now?
What is your IQ?
God bless you and Jesus Christ almighty loves you. Holy Spirit will bless you with peace!
Thank you 😊.
If I meet someone intelligent I just start ranting and pacing around like Kanye (about something technical or not) and they'll perk up and join in or even takeover. If I do it to know-it-all NPC's they'll get malicious and catty
Do you think that IQ can increase if we fix diet,training,learn a lot of new things or you are like J. B. Peterson and you think it can not change at all you can just learn a new things
Is raising iq possible for adults?
Depends. If you have been underfed or gravely missing stimuli and information, yes, providing those and bringing them to par will increase your iq to the level that is natural for you. But if you have been well provided, iq is hardly influenciable.
Can you list me ways to increase iq no matter how expensive they are
Can you answer me please
Abel are you okay?
Hello Lisa, yes, I'm fine, thanks 🙂. I'm into some other interesting stuff for the moment, C-PTSD and Structural Dissociation (Janina Fisher), really valuable insights and models... So yes, doing fine, just focused on some other investigations I'm doing 🙂. Thanks for asking 🙂.
@@Abel.Abelson was a bit worried. Oké keep up the spark! When I get the possibility, I’ll sure buy your book(s)! Have a nice day!!!!🌹
Do you want to date me? :)
Always 😊.
Can You prove it You are intellectually gifted?
What is your iq?
133
@@Abel.Abelson Hey, maybe this is a dumb question, but is there any possible way to have a higher iq?
With a lot of training you can probably score a few points more (not much) but that doesn't make you smarter, only more apt at doing the monkey tricks 😉. It's not worth it, and anyway, IQ is overrated and in my opinion a very crude and flawed measure and concept.
@@Abel.Abelson Well there is some evidence to support that some cognitive training (working memory/relational training) has had some improvement in fluid intelligence, if you want to look at the literature it’s ubiquitous on the internet. Although Lumosity and other marketing brain games show no effect size.
Hello, Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins, and he was resurrected on the third day. If you believe in him, you are saved. If you don't believe in him, you will be judged, no matter how wise you are. Use that and accept Jesus Christ as your savior. Otherwise, you live a risky life, right? You may say no to all of that, but then the Judgment will come and people may say, "Why did I ignore this person?" Now, don't ignore "This Person." *Do this: Go down on your knees, confess your sins to God, ask for forgiveness, and accept Jesus Christ as your Savior. Love one another and stop sinning. And Read the Bibe, Amen.*
Sometimes, other than dating, it's important (for inner peace) to have regular casual sex. That's where dating has value. In this sense, it's similar to what you're saying: do something you both like, and see whether there's a deeper connection there.
where could I find your email address or anyway a contact to talk to?
where could I find your email address or anyway a contact to talk to?