How do I plan for the future, when the future is in flux?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ต.ค. 2024
- Time for an Agony Leena! This time we're talking about the absurdity of future plans, how do you face all the people you didn't become and... should you text your ex?
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"Also, if you're super in love and build a healthy relationship, you can save the world together. That's so hot." Ha. Yes!
HOT HOT HOT
“You may not be on the receiving end of your own activism, but it’s very likely you’re on the receiving end of someone else’s activism” FUCK I LOVE THAT LINE.
On only one life to live: I'm in my mid 40s now and I feel that I have lived many lives to get here. So many different phases that can be called a life on their own. I think you can make a lot out of one life and follow different ideas and paths on the way.
That's so beautiful!
Thank you for sharing your perspective💜
I want to cry at ‘rough drafts of life that in the future I don’t actually live.’ You have such a way with words and I’m forever glad I found your channel
Persopolis is a great book to read about being an actual human being whilst shit is going on in your country. Not every citizen is a politician when the news defines a country by it's politics.
On the note of forgiveness - I'm currently taking a Toni Morrison and William Faulkner literature course and something that we've been talking about is perpetrator trauma. My professor is a Jewish woman who is currently working on a novel comparing Germany's response to the Holocaust to the United States' response to the Civil War (and the legacy of slavery as it persist in other systems). Something she was talking about in class yesterday was how because the best thing for you (emotionally and spiritually, if not physically) is to be a good person and engage in moral behavior, we need to recognize that people who have committed immoral deeds have experienced a trauma that needs to be addressed before a country has moved forward. In this vein, just as Germany uses its geography to physically locate the placed where monstrous deeds have occurred, but the US (particularly the South, but the notion of Northern innocence is a whole other issue to address) has instead tried to ease the white guilt by focusing on the "good" parts of the confederacy through monuments of its leaders and battles, but not of the violence inflicted on Black Americans. If we are to move forward as a country, we need to foster a space where we look at generations and states that capitalized on slavery and both recognize that they have completed immoral actions, but are worthy of forgiveness through the memorialization of violence and working to address trauma on both sides.
Where do you go to college? Because i need to enroll immediately 😂that professor sounds cool as hell
@@katebogdan5322 George Washington University, in D.C. :) The professor's name is Evelyn Schreiber. She's really something!
@@audiofandoms I need the readings list if you have
This was a huge part of the reason EJI created their museum and memorial (Montgomery, AL). The deep need to address and account for the legacy of slavery in the US. Much to do, this is a starting point.
Leena is my train of thought in the middle of the night when I need to wake up early for work the day after in a human form
It's so refreshing to hear such genuine thoughts combined with nerding out. I'm currently binging your vids while I work, heheh
"We are not reaching out to this man" 😂 Another great instalment of Agony Leena!
I loved the talk about the "one who got away" and how weird and unrealistic the concept is ! I have someone in my life who I dated for a very short time a few years ago and while I still love them deeply (and I haven't loved anyone like that since) we aren't good as a romantic pairing, and that's ok! We were friends for a long time before our short tryst and we've been friends since, and i geniunely feel like us being together as friends is the way we were always meant to be!
I'm single right now, and they're dating someone, and I'm so happy for them, I'm so glad they get to have that, that someone is loving them, and that I get to witness them being loved in a way I couldn't do for them, and I'm not bitter or sad about it. It's not a great Shakespearean tragedy that we didn't work out, it's just the way the cookie crumbled, it's still edible, just not in the shape we'd expected 😅
Thank you for talking about Capitalism so much! I feel like I annoy everyone around me by talking about how destructive capitalism is and how we need to find a better way forward. But like you say everything sort of is about capitalism? It’s such an important thing to discus and normalise an anti-capitalist view of the world. So thanks for helping me feel less alone in that!
Edit: please make more of these I find them so comforting 😊
I recently read a book called "Station Eleven" and it's basically a post appcolpyse book where a pandemic wiped EVERYONE out apart from like 0.01% and it was SO useful in putting everything into perspective.
Like who am I when I take away civilisation as we know it and all the things I've worked towards? All the little pats on the head that have spurred me on to a 9-5 and to do a degree that was kinda totally useless (even pub quiz useless) ?
And basically if you want a real hard hitting existential crisis I recommend 👍
Also I was trying to sort out my impossible shelf while watching your 20s toolkit and had the realisation of how weird and surreal this year is. Like I had to sit down and take it in for a minute.
yes!! an amazing book i ironically had to read last year as one of my final year school english books!! wrote my whole exam on it and it ended up being my highest scoring subject (A+ babyyyyy). i read it back to front and upside down and analysed it from every angle, and it is still one of my favourite books. made me think for weeks after and the story and characters have lived rent free literally ever since i first read it, which to me, is always the mark of a good book!!
@@Bella-kr7bl wooo go you on A+ !!! :D
Yes ikr! I read it in May when everything was kicking off in the UK and it was weirdly comforting, and I'm STILL thinking about it months later!
Station Eleven is such a modern classic. Love it.
M8 the things you say are like a healing balm... especially your thoughts on the topic of shame and contempt and how your actions do not strip you of dignity or respect, are gonna stick with me
I love how Leena was drunk just by having a glass of wine in her hand.
😂
the title of this video could tit for tat be the title of what i've been talking about in therapy this month. brb, journaling about who i want to be, who i really respect, and the big picture vs personal plans
"I'll have outdated opinions and people would want me to die"
Our girl throwing shade at all the old people lol
"We are here on this earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you any different!" - Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
You got me thinking of the arc of justice as being like the horizon. It looks flat so maybe you could think it was flat, but we know it's not. And sometimes, in the right places and with the right perspective, you can see that it curves.
Also, talking about people living in war zones always makes me think of my mum and her sisters growing up in Derry in the 60s and 70s, and the stories they tell always being full of humour and humanity and the surrealist nature of their lives. Sometimes there's bombs and raids and gunmen, but mostly it's being out late at parties and teenage disasters and throwing up in your sisters communion curls
😂 the video isn't even live yet and this is already my favourite comment. Love the idea of a horizon. And to end on a note of being sick in someone's hair is just my kind of humour 😂
a genuine, genuine thanks for your thoughts on 'the one that got away' - i just broke up with my partner who i still love very much but they're in a different country, with a six hour time difference, AND doing a very time consuming nursing program, so it was just not doable. but you're right, i love them because of those choices they made, so this makes our break slightly less painful.
Ahhh that first question has got me in my soul. Like how do you ever know that your making the right decisions in life.... I think time is the only way to tell with that. But also like as someone who is into everything and is interested in so many things, it’s so hard to accept the idea that you just can’t do everything that you have always wanted to! We get told in school and when we are young that we can do anything we want but the reality is that it’s only to a certain extent
I personally think that for countries an apology should be more about that country acknowledging the historical wrongs that occurred, recognising the effect that those wrongs had, and showing the countries willingness to change, and be held accountable for the change. It shouldn't be one person taking on the wrongs of their ancestors, it should be about the country showing they no longer want to follow in those ancestors footsteps because they know their ancestors were wrong.
You are the big sister I never had, and I’m glad you’re here
This has been fun to watch! It is now 2022 and I have just recently discovered the hilarity of 'frog snog'.
i would be so grateful for a full video on planning for the future when the future is in flux, and navigating the future when you know the broadstrokes of what you want but don't know the details or how you'll get there. love you leena, i'll never tire of this series.
It hit some deep part of my soul when you said "Optimism is so exhausting."
"Speaking of knob heads" 😂😂😂
I’m living for the wallpaper. :)
Me too! It's gorgeous!
I love the way your brain works, thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I listen to you while doing the dishes, while bathing, before I go to bed. You could say I’m obsessed with wanting to know more of the things you have to say and I’m aggressively watching all of your videos.
You’re so wonderful, you feel like a friend next door and here I am sitting in India, lol. Just goes to show how beautiful the internet can be ~ I am so happy I found you! Hope you’re safe and sending you so much love Leena ❤️
Aw thank you that means a lot X
possibly one of my favourite videos on this entire website
Recently I felt pressure to forgive someone bc I thought it was the mature thing to do but actually I found that accepting I didn't want to and actually they can *off, was a relief. If you apologise expecting it to be accepted then it wasn't a true apology to begin with.
I've noticed lately that I seem to struggle with contempt and it's something I'm actively trying to change. In my experience I suppose it stems from a hurt ego as a sort of defence mechanism. This has been especially true towards an ex-partner who hurt me really badly, so whenever I catch myself having a bad emotion about it I stop myself and wish him well instead. In the end we are the gatekeepers of our internal dialogue and we should do whatever we can to foster a positive headspace.
You do realise you have now set the expectation that all the Agony Leena videos will be set against a gorgeous and varied backdrop? 😅I'm certainly not complaining! That wallpaper is just *chefs kiss*
Id like to extend my thanks, just had a break up after a six year relationship and I really needed that advice! 😂
Omg that statue is identical to my ex .... a pious Christian who followed up all his shitty cheating behaviour with the phrase..... “only Jesus gets to judge me!” I love it! Kick it for me please 😂❤️
The idea of being able to fall in love and do nice life things even while disaster strikes was really nice! Thank you
I've been in a bit of a self-doubt-rut this past week. So it really helps to differentiate between, looking up to people, who have things I always wanted to have or be and people, that not necessarily have exactly that, but whom I deeply respect for something else. Kinda freeing to have something to look up to, that doesn't fit into the same box of "just-self-improvement-things", I built throughout the years.
Woah - that painting above the blue sofa is the same as the one in our hallway, frame and all! Threw me off for a second! Dad got it in a charity shop :)
I found out in February that war is like...illegal? Like the UN is like "yeah you can't do that" but war still happens? I have not recovered from learning this and I'm not sure I ever will.
I genuinely mean it when I say that was the most enlightening 32 minutes of my life.
Thank you for being so open and honest. I really love hearing your views, and find them really thoughtful and considered. Already looking forward to the next one. My question is: In a society that has equated worth and productivity/money, how do you find self worth that is separate from that (especially if you're unable to be productive/earn money due to chronic illness/disability)?
I am going through a rough breaky upy phase (kind of) with my boyfriend (it's complicated) on top of the madness that is going on in the world and your videos with your relaxed attitude and humor have really given me a lot of peace and soothed my soul a little bit - thank you leena!
I have not only just discovered you yesterday, but subscribed with BOTH my youtube accounts. I never WANT to miss the next one!! xD Leena my dear, you have made my week!
I really love your agony Leena videos. I paint my nails while watching it and even though it has only been two weeks of them they feel like a ritual that brings comfort.
That dress really does go with everything. Color me impressed
Since covid, I have really learnt which friends give me energy, and which friends only cost me energy. And that sounds a bit cold, but it has been so incredibly great for my mental health. I'm trying to do the same thing with the content I watch, which accounts I follow, etc. And you, Leena, you give me SO MUCH energy. When I need a little push to start a productive day, I watch your videos and feel like I just had a cup of coffee with a friend. Thanks for being great.
ooh! the first question is explored really interestingly in Matt Haig's new book The Midnight Library!!! Its literally about a woman who explores what her life would have been like if she'd made different choices and whether they're better or worse. Super good read, would really recommend it :)))))))
I am 100% the "I'd rather be smited/smote? by gods than be wrong" person! lol!
You always give such wonderful advice.
How do you learn what your flaws are? I feel like I know myself well but have no concept of how other see me and what others would consider my flaws/faults.
hi there! i've been thinking about the same thing for quite some time, and although i don't have a definitive answer, maybe some of these ideas may help u: 1) be empathetic and try to realize how other people view the world (even though this is arguably ur view of their view) and how ur flaws are part of their equation; 2) when people lash out to others they don't usually talk about the other person, but rather they project onto them their own flaws and insecurities. so observe what little things make u mad about another person and try to think if it's bc it's something u do urself; 3) treat others the way u would like to be treated. if u abide by this ur always on the right track; 4) be observant and realize what things u do that make other people pissed off at u for absolutely no reason. again, it's usually a projection of themselves but there's always some truth lurking around; 5) ask! even though ur family and friends may not want to bring up the subject bc it may be unconfortable and they may be scared of ur reaction, promise them that u will be understanding and that u will take what they tell u as a sign of love, bc they have still cared for u and stayed even w ur "bad side"; 6) try and think if there's something ur parents, ur grandparents and/or ur siblings all do and that really makes u cross. u probably do it too. generational trauma/flaws are almost inevitable: we are dealt w very few cards in life, and most of them have been handed down from previous generations (i got this idea from andré aciman's "find me", i highly recommend reading it!); 7) once u have established what possible flaws u may have, try to think of when u engage in them, and are they worth changing: does it demonstrate for example a social convention u don't care for, i.e. u are always late? 8) be compassionate w urself. treat urself as if u were a friend. the same way as u have stayed for people even though sometimes they can be annoying, do the same thing for urself (bc u will always be annoying at some point). also, what goes in life comes back: so be compassionate w others and u will find that others will be compassionate w u. u can then take this compassion and use it on urself; 9) you are not a constant being, therefore u do not have constant flaws. once u think u have recognised what ur flaws are u cannot stay w that fixated idea forever: situations happen that may change u, and therefore ur flaws will change too. u still have many, many years on this earth and u are going to be a different person in each one of them, so observe urself constantly as a person from the outside would 10) it's necessary to forgive urself. u are the only person in ur life that's going to stick around for the whole of ur existence on earth, so u better start coming to terms w the fact that there will always be part of urself that u won't like. also, by their very essence people have to be imperfect and have a "bad" side to them. what a boring life it would be if everyone did everything right and there wasn't anything to learn; 11) be honest w urself. deep down, u probably know the answer already.
at last, i finished! and just to clarify, i think of these ideas in relation to flaws that affect the living of ur own best life and the option that others may live theirs.
so, i hope at least one of them may be of use to u! if i didn't explain myself well tell me, and if someone thinks that there is no sense in something i said, please tell me!! i will be very happy to know how i can better myself ;) stay safe
god this is such a mood! I too have no idea of my perception outside of myself & ngl it’s kind of alarming 😳😳
This video reminded me of a book i just finished reading, ‘The Midnight Library’ by Matt Haig and I loved this book.
Great video, Leena 🤍
Thank you for this!
oh that last one......because you like living..fricken fantastic
I love these videos, personally I am always amazed by how some of the daily thoughts we have are very contradicting to what would seem logical; the approach you take and how you talk about things makes me feel a lot calmer about the world - I feel like I'm getting inspiration, but also education without being too stressed out by the weight those topics hold. So thanks a lot for that!
I’m thinking so much about nationwide forgiveness and this is such an un-universal and truly hot take but I almost think it’s the same. Like as someone from a formerly colonized country, I think that there’s a big difference between like consciously decolonizing vs being angry at the past, and sometimes they sort of undermine each other? Like a big part of discourse here at least is how the way we talk about our country as sort of a victim is undermining to our ability to like lead ourselves and govern and form coherent institutions. So weirdly forgiveness on our part is a key step in decolonizing and overcoming the colonial history, even though Britain is largely unrepentent, but we just need to sort of not wait for Britain to have a cultural shift because that could be a while?? And I think that’s very similar to interpersonal forgiveness. Like i think Oprah or someone said that we withhold forgives because we thing it’s a kindness towards the other person but forgiving someone is actually an act of kindness to ourselves and I think it’s so true in so many levels. That being said I think that’s not something I’d ever try to put on a country or group of wronged people that I wasn’t myself a part of because that would be a bit rude... it’s just sort of where my brain went
That's a very interesting take, and it makes a lot of sense. For me I never really understand what is meant by 'forgiveness' at all- you aren't saying that what happened was ok, so what are you saying? I think that really, forgiveness just means stopping hurting yourself by being angry and moving on with your own life.
Binging all your videos. Reminds me of all my rambles and my personal chats.... love it.
I loved soo many of your answers. Especially the last one about why be in love when the world is dying. as I have questioned this a few times in the past few years. I really appreciate your answer.
LEENA YOU ARE SO WISE !!!!
Just joined The Gumption Club because you've been making such quality content and I found you a few months ago and you're basically like a big sister I've always wanted. Thank you for bringing such positivity onto this platform and in the social sphere in general!
I love how agony Leena is actual quite cheerfull and gleefull, hahah. Thanks
I've really enjoyed both agony leena videos so far, but there's so much in them I feel like I have to keep coming back to them in order to fully understand all of what you're saying in your videos! What I will say really stuck out in this video is the idea of just, having things that you're partial to without feeling the need to justify them. That's something I'm trying to work on but the way you worded it here really helps. These videos are lovely to have on in the background to listen to, like a podcast with interesting and pretty backgrounds.
I have a habit of watching (or rather listening to) youtube when I do household chores. I think I need to change that for Leena‘s videos. I need a pen and paper to write stuff down!!! This is like reading a really cool paper for uni. I need transcripts 😄
I really, really loved this and needed to hear all of your advice today - particularly about the One That Got Away. I didn't know I needed to hear it, but I did. Thank you, Leena.
"A creepy Georgian count in a castle trying to capture a maiden". This instantly made me think of the Hunchback of Notre Dame
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH please let it be an ongoing series ❤❤
That ceramic statue is the Burger King, you can't convince me otherwise!
Goodness gracious. Been binging your videos for a week and a half now. So thankful for your voice, your creativity, and you.
This is very random and before I watch this video, but the thumbnail looked like you had on a black denim jumpsuit with the print of your shirt all over that had really flared ends and according to my brain, it looks incredible on you! Lol
Okay on to the video 😊
Well this is every fucking thing I didn’t know I needed today
"I hope you're never in trouble enough to need me"
Exactly, do not contact this man. Refreshing advice.
Girl i needed to hear that! Especially that someone Important to me if checking in on an ex and that’s enough rest for me
1:09 - My Mum put the exact same birch wallpaper up in our snug, and I love it! It's not quite the real thing, but it was great when lockdown started, and the days were still pretty short. (Paired with a daylight lamp, for that all-important vitamin D. Would highly recommend now that the nights are getting longer again))
Love what you said in answer to the title question. After you said to just focus on the kind of person you want to be, I was just like 'ah, yes that makes so much sense, why did I not think of that'. And then I felt like, huh, I don't know if I've ever consciously thought about the kind of person I want to be. I kind of felt like that woke me up a bit after just floating about in life, being nice to people and doing my best moment to moment, but without ever actually giving much thought to a bigger picture of me and the me I'd like to be. Rambly message that I'm not sure will have communicated very well what I meant, so just thank you for the thoughts :)
can we talk about how this video got me all I STILL HAVE EIGHTY YEARS AHEAD OF ME LIFE IS GREAT I LOVE BEING ALIVE but also I'M GONNA DIE ALONE BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT INEVITABLY WILL HAPPEN TO ALL OF US in about 18 minutes???? that's very 2020 honestly
I love you and your particular favorites
Very Best,
Stephanie
I've loved thinking and growing with you over the years, thank you for all the work you do!
Your like the aunt I've always needed, even though its from the internet. Thanks for all the good advice
I love the joy you had at just being in different rooms around the house!
these are my favourite videos in the entire world 💕
Thanks for all these thoughts, Leena and also thanks to the community for all the great questions (that I am afraid to ask but really can use some advice on)
got really distracted from the topic of discussion because this dress is positively incredible
Your voice is so soothing that this video has put me to sleep at least three times so far. I keep putting it on though, bc I’ve yet to hear it all, lol!
I have my last exam of the season today in half an hour. I’m very anxious but this helps!
You are my favorite right now, Leena.
This video was really comforting, thank you
I friggen loved this. Ty!
i just discovered your channel a little while ago and i would say these types of videos from you are my absolute favourite! i've often struggled to find youtubers that talk about "self-development" or general practical life advice that feels authentic and in line with how i view myself and the world. you always give such interesting perspectives and inspire me to think about these topics for myself long after the video is over! thank you leena :)
at 7.27 min, is the video you're talking about Melanie Joy's conference??? I LOVE her!!
Loving your videos Leena :) thank you for being such a comforting and thoughtful presence on here. Feels like a really safe, familiar space to be and it's always interesting to hear your perspective!
Forgiveness of a countrt is very interesting. I live in Australia where our Prime Minister has apologized to our First Nations people for detrimental actions in the past.
I have always been a window sill sitter
on forgiveness: someone who was once my friend, but then cut me out of their life in a really brutal way, recently reached out to me via text. at first I was like "oh, do I have to let them back into my life now?" but then when I read the text again I realised they weren't actually apologising or even admitting fault. that made things both harder and easier at the same time. harder because why would you try to enter my life again without taking responsibility for what happened, but also easier because that gave me a straight-forward reason to say "I don't want this". I had forgiven them (or at least put it behind me) before they asked, because I knew that they never WOULD ask, and so my forgiving them couldn't be dependent upon their asking. (I don't know if this made sense at all, but essentially what I'm trying to say is that I agree with you...)
YES the first question and your response to it - I recently finished How To Find Fulfilling Work after seeing a video where you recommended it and I have to say, it really helped me start to settle the complex I have about needing to live a "big life" (lol thanks hustle culture and capitalism). Letting go of the idea of the "perfect" life and the idea that I'm not doing life "right" has honestly been so freeing - so thanks for your wisdom otherwise god knows how long it would have taken me figure it out!!
I 99% agree with the advice to think of 5 other people who can check in on somebody who is an ex/ ex friend. A cautionary tale:
When I was 23, I had (against all better judgement), started dating a friend from high school. The relationship was not healthy and ended in him cheating on me with a woman we both worked with (side lesson: do not date coworkers or help your partners to get hired where you work). I was bitter about the whole situation and very angry at my ex for cheating but still cared about him.
He struggles with mental illness/ addiction and I was familiar with the signs of his manic episodes. So, when I heard that he had started stalking our mutual coworker, that he was professing his love to this woman/ buying her expensive things, and that she was telling people she was afraid of him, I recognized those as signs that he was unwell / using drugs again.
So, (against the advice of my friends), I had reached out to my ex’s best friend just saying like “hey, idk what he’s told you about the situation with [coworker he slept with], but this is what I’m hearing from the mutual friends I have with her. Maybe check in on him that he’s not using/ is still taking his meds?”
This only yielded an angry response from his friend (calling me all sorts of nasty names and accusing me of abusively trying to convince my ex’s friends he was unstable) and getting screamed at on the phone at 2am by my ex.
When I unpacked all this with my therapist, she said that my heart had been in the right place but that it is important to remember that you aren’t responsible for the choices of others. I thought that as one of the only people who was seeing both sides of the situation, I was responsible for him. But I wasn’t.
With hindsight, I still think that he was having some sort of mental health crisis. But I also think part of me wanted for everything (the cheating, the breakup) to be because he was sick and for me to be able to swoop in and save the day - therefore proving that I knew him best and was morally superior.
It has taken years of therapy to reach a point where I understand that I am not responsible for people’s mistakes or responsible for making them better. They also aren’t your responsibility just because they have pushed everyone else away or their support system is full of people who suck. I think it’s unfortunate that my ex was surrounded by friends who were unwilling to think critically about his behaviour or help him maintain sobriety. But, ultimately, it’s not my problem.
hello i quite desperately needed all of this, thank you thank you thank you!!
Agree. Books are the way to live many lives. 🤩👏🏼
i'd really love to hear you talk in depth about what cancel culture gets wrong (although i see how it is a risky topic to have an unpopular opinion on). great vid as always!
Haha yes this irony is that talking about it can also attract the same kind of energy that you're critiquing. I can't really say it better than Ayishat here though th-cam.com/video/Sni7ghqHBJw/w-d-xo.html and also I love the book about it called Outraged by Ashley Dotty Charles :)
This is the video I didn't realise I needed. Thanks Leena for existing ❤️
Was here in 2012!!! Still loving the content
Greetings Leena! Avidly listening
Just building on Leena saying that watching Contagion was strangely relaxing...I've been experiencing a similar effect from watching zombie movies lately. I guess elements of them just feel more relatable in some ways .
Lenna! I discovered your channel a few weeks ago and your videos have re-inspired me to allow myself to pursue the creative things I want to in life! Thank you.