@@chris__10 So true . Your confidence will grow and your fear of what people might think of you in a negative way will taper off. This is who you truly are , this is your path in life, not simply existing but living.💕
as a cisgendered woman, I can tell you that most cis women don't even look "feminine enough" for society. Most women put a lot of work in everyday to come off as "pretty", take a look at prison inmates, that's the natural woman. What I'm trying to say is, if there is a will, there is a way. It's all about skill, hun. ALL about skill.
I believe "passing" is about confidence. If you own how you look and you just confidently inform people of your gender when they make a mistake, people will fall in line. It's not so much about convincing others that you belong, as much as it is convincing yourself that you belong.
when i see documentaries of most of the women in this world they do look like prison inmates: the women who were in the covered wagons during the expansion of the West here in the USA; the Russian workers in the fields struggling to survive; the women in Europe who were not royalty/aristocracy/beautiful; women in offices who run the economy and business for half the pay; women at home throughout the history of the world having babies, raising kids and keeping the hubby happy. there are times i wish i had some of their talent...or a nice set of tits.
Or another excuse that haunts me is "Someone expects me to be a son, brother, father, Godfather, etc." It's quite affecting my desire to transition due to someone's controlling/manipulative acts. I try to be the gender that I was born, not the one that I feel that I am. But... as you say that it's all excuses. Life is unfair to some and that's including me.
ahh;; i know that one real well, mate. but, we are in charge of our own lives. you don't have to fill the roles other people give you; you can decide. there might he pressure to do things a certain way, but in the end, it's all up to you 👍
@@deborah_chrysoprase Bless you x But every day someone calls me a man! Because I am so tall. I am not a man , what's the point of being a woman if you are going to be called a man each day
@@gemmafenner5445 I've only been out publicly for a month now so I'm certainly no expert yet, but it's something you owe to yourself to help you feel the way you want to feel. And it IS much harder when you are having difficulty passing, but you can get over that, and you can improve that over time too. Me personally, I've just committed to being out every day and dealing with the dysphoria day by day as it comes, and I pass to some people and not others, and I just work on each of those as an opportunity to feel myself despite whatever everyone else sees me as. It's tough, it's very difficult and I'm not going to downplay how hard that is, but you've been strong enough to make it this far and you owe it to yourself to keep working at it every day.
I would stay away from medical transitioning. If you only transition socially, you will have less trouble with de-transitioning if you regret it. Your comment is from 2 years ago. Did you transition?
+TheTransitionChannel I came out to my Mother. She tells me that me transitioning from Male To Female will lead me in my elderly years to looking like a "Male-Female Hybrid". I wish that {quote} was pacifically addressed in this video. {I'm 38 yrs old}.
username1nmillion Look around. People look how they look, and nothing (nothing) is worth not living the truth, not living who you are. Hugs to you in the truth!
I started transitioning when I was 35 and I'm 40 now. I have no regrets. Although I wish I could have started sooner, I know it likely would not have been possible. Not an excuse, I just wasn't fully aware of myself as a transgender person when I was younger.
I had a teacher who had prostate cancer and was put on testosterone blockers, and he was bald. Once he went on the blockers, within a few months, he had a full head of hair again.
I first started out dressing up as a woman and I got to say I feel beautiful,free,happy,and me more than a guy and i'm in my mid 40's and first time as I look at myself as a woman I say WOW, i'm beautiful as a woman then as a guy but sadly 7 years on hormones too long for me to blossoming into a beautiful rare butterfly ready to take on the world and fly first time..
@@Summer-kb2dm agreed, i was a head doorman, hiding behind a uniform acting tough, dont like fighting, or aggresive behaviour, so i used to send in the other crowd controllers, to do the hands on approach. They would ask me why i would just stand on the door, i said someone has to do the paperwork, the reports, speak to staff and bystanders, police, and if it goes to court i would have to attend .....
I started at 76 years, I have never been so happy & comfortable. I will in all likelihood have to wear wear wig, oh well. My dysphoria is rather severe it has been for decades, it seems to get worse as times passes. I got tired of fighting it. When my wife passed away it was easier for me to be me. She knew all about my situation.
I transitioned 5+ years ago at 60 and I'm loving every minute! You're NOT too old, get started ASAP! You'll regret it if you don't. I'll never get tired of living as a woman!
When I was younger I always kinda wanted to be a girl. I played with them, always liked 'girlish' things, but a lot of the time I tried dissacociating myself with being 'girlish'. Me and my sister would play house a lot, and I wanted to be the daughter but I just ended up being the dog. When I got a little older I didn't know being 'transgender' was a thing, but at some point I looked up if it was possible to get a sex change and I was really ecstatic. Although I always tell myself 'what if I regret it?'
+SmexyAnimuBlitches Thanks for sharing your story. I found it amusing that you ended up being the dog (you poor, girl...you don't want to have to live a dog's life LOL). I don't really have any advice. The only thing that comes to mind is whatever decision you make you'll always wonder if you made the right decision. I think that's normal.
If it's in your heart, I strongly doubt you'll regret it, or question it. People say they wish they'd done it sooner. Relief and joy comes, and with it peace. :) There's nothing like living the truth of who you really are. :)
I'm renewing my transition in my very-early-fifties. I have drawn some strength from the saying that the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, but the second best time is right now. I gave up on my last serious period of gender exploration about 15 years ago b/c I was disgusted with my broad shoulders & generally male figure. Now I accept that I may never look as natural as my Mom & sisters but I'm happier with any feminization I can manage.
I want to go back i was m2f..then went back to male and I no it was the wrong thing to do and now I wanna go back in 37 I'm going throw so much thinking of it can u help me with some words 😔😭
that is about how old I was when I first started. I'm 46 now. I lost a lot of body hair over time on hormones. I had a reseeding hair line but it did fill in a little but the skin texter changed so the spot is not so pronounced any more. I am a lot more happy and most of the excuses she speaks of I dealt with also. I don't feel I was to tall but I still got a little shorter. lol. as far as losing family and friends goes. It takes time for people to come around. what is gradually going on in your mind is change that you get to see but for others it seems like you did not take time to think about it. I lost a lot my male friends by my own choice but you do gain new friends.
I started at puberty and now i'm a passable woman, Passing after the puberty will be more difficult for you (you will need voice training, facial feminization surgery and laser if you want to be passable and if your genetics are shit you may never pass) so I advice to start at least puberty blockers now
Or maybe it just a phase and you can learn to love who you were born as. Maybe just because you enjoy things that are typically of the opposite sex doesn't make you the opposite sex. 80% of young people change their minds. And often it's too late to undo the damage they've done to their bodies.
You don't have to immediately make the decision because you're scared of getting old when you're not yet sure whether you're trans or not yet, the best course of action would be to take hormone blockers and start hrt once you're sure about your identity
I mean I'm 41 and I still have thoughts of being female, the same thoughts that I had when I was a young child. So if it's a phase then it's been a really long phase.
Great video! I absolutely agree with you about the goal of transition not being about becoming a beauty queen. In fact, I feel strongly that we are in a good position to fight against beauty standards, so long as we are in a position mentally healthy and stable enough to overcome our insecurities (and we ALL have insecurities). With that said, I think that having a goal to be as pretty or handsome as you can be is okay, so long as that goal doesn't consume you. You should always work to find value in yourself beyond your appearance, because in those dark days when your confidence is low and you feel ugly and rejected, you will need to hold onto that value that isn't a part of what your mind is attacking about yourself. I find value in myself that I'm smart, empathetic, skilled in my line of work, a hard worker, etc. No one can attack my appearance and take away my self-value. And they can only impact my confidence for a short time, and then only if I let them. But reaching this point wasn't easy, and was the result of my wife calling me out multiple times, and even reaching a crisis point in our relationship. Puberty isn't easy, even the second time around! And you might have to learn some life lessons all over again. But you can do it! And you don't have to do it alone. Find a good therapist like Alexis. Find a good community for support- online or local, or both! Talk to your ally friends. Talk to you ally family. ♥ for all my trans sisters, brothers, and enbies! Be safe and live well!
I really like your videos- I wish you were able to produce them more frequently these days! They are very informative and helpful. I wish I had them early in my transition nearly years ago lol, but I'm so glad our newer trans fam will have them going forward! Also- I wanted to also echo your point about finding a therapist who is familiar with and trained to help with trans issues. I had another therapist a little while ago who was only vaguely familiar with trans issues and now I have one who specializes in treating trans people and the difference is night and day! You can have another therapist for your non-trans stuff still, but definitely find a therapist who knows about trans stuff because we encounter some rather unique problems out in the wild. ♥
AylaZeroFire " out in the wild" :) Very accurate. ~ Sweet Hoorays for you in your journey; it sounds like you're doing well, and I'm SO happy for you! :)
I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but as a CIS woman I've found this video inspiring. A lot of your advice chimed with me. Thank you. I'll bear this advice in mind.
@@jessica_marz it's been nearly 3 years ago. I came out in May of 21. Crazy to come out so late in life isn't it? 🙂 I've been very fortunate in my journey. Good luck on yours. Wish you all the best ❤️
I love you!!! this is exactly what I needed to listen. I'm 27 and I was thinking that it was too late for me, and these excuses are excuses that I could use, because I have all of these, but as you said, they're just excuses. Thank you so much for this video.
I never knew you could lose height from transitioning! I always worried about garnering too much attention if I transition since I'm 6'1, but if I can get to around 5'11 I may be able to pass as a tall girl. Now I suddenly get a huge boost of confidence. Thanks for posting this video!
I feel like I need to be a boy. Really badly. But I fear that I won't want to be a boy after I do transition. But I know I won't. I'm terrified that people will hate me and reject me too. These videos are getting to me. They make me realize how bad my disphoria really is.
I know it's too late to probably help with this from years later. But if you have genuine dysphoria it means something is wrong inside. There's always a reason. I hope you can find the hurt inside and get healing.
Thankyou for your reply. I am learning to love myself more and more it's just now that I've told friends and family I need to be charletta more than ever. All these years of hiding has built up to the point now I feel stronger than ever to go through with a full transition. No turning back. Love charletta
These videos really have helped me. I just came out a couple months ago, started hormone therapy this month. I'm starting to feel a bit better, but I'm really starting to feel the emotional effects, and had to leave work because of it today. But other than that, I'm feeling pretty positive.
I know the physical stuff all works itself out. My concerns wold be much more social, i.e. I have 5 kids who have always known me as their dad, and how this could affect THEM
You hit the nail right on the head that first excuse is definitely was stuck in my mind I will still transition no matter what I've never loved myself this much of my life
You are not too old to transition. I am 60. I finally came to the self-realization that I was transwoman only 6 weeks ago. It was amazing. My major depression and anxiety disorders mostly disappeared within days. I thought they were lifelong. My therapist was sooo happy for me. I didn't wait to start. I bought clothes: underwear, skinny leg jeans, girlie tops, leggings, cute little jumpers, bling, and started wearing only them. I ordered a beautiful slay blonde wig, and now I wear it every time I go out. I came out to my colleagues at school, I'm an elementary school music teacher. The kids love my transition. I started learning makeup. Now I wear it even if it's not perfect. I posted tons of pics on FB and Instagram. I'm looking almost like a young girl and absolutely loving myself. Just look at my profile pic. I took it with my phone, no photoshopping. I don't get to see my trans doctor for the first time for another 5 weeks, but I'm not waiting. I found my true self, I'm going for it now. You can too!
I love your video and glad i found it. But you didn't mention the reason that I'm scared to transition. Itsfear of losing family and friends. I have told a couple of close female friends about it but the few I have told i trusted them and they are supportive of it. But I know most won't. I have been on Spironolactone for 7 months now and I'm made up my mind that by February or March I'm going to go on HRT. Well thats my goal anyway. I practice putting on makeup and clothes around the house but havebyet to go out in public. I even went to a speech therapist to try and sound feminine. Well thats my story so far. BTW I'm 67 years old and always thought i was to old until watching TH-cam. Thanks for reading.v
What about the reasons of Lack of Finances/Insurance and lack of a good job situation and lack of support from family and loved ones. I’m not in an ideal situation and badly need/want to Transition fully someday to be my True Authentic Self of a Transgender Christian Woman! Prayers appreciated! Thanks! Love your videos! Hope to see more soon! And would love to meet you someday, Lord Willing?!
Paddy Thank You! I appreciate that! I’m still in a very difficult situation unfortunately. But I’m praying every day and am taking some steps. I appreciate your prayers! God Bless! Hugs!
I'm 66 and began transition at 64, Alex is right, I had vaginoplasty 6 months ago and I have never been happier. She helped me tremendously, My life is wonderful now, I finally feel right, I am so glad I did it!
At first I thought I was too old but now I so proud of myself. Yes my bald spot filling in superbly. I’m so happy that I’m finally on my way to becoming a woman that I am. Thank you for the video 💕
I like your chanel very informative I am a transwoman a husband and father I want to transition but I am in school and my wife can not except me as my true self and my heart hurts because I will lose my love and because I have reminders all around me every time I look in the mirror I don't see me I see a stranger I feel like my head is going to explode
Thank you so much for all the help you have provided me this past year Alexis! I have fought with this for so long, and I will not lie it is extremely difficult. Yet to finally start to be myself has been so wonderful. Anyone who is trans, I must say that I do not recommend that you try it alone. Alexis knows the hurdles that we face. Thank you again Alexis. I will always be in your debt
I've have been researching Transgenders since the early 90s in my teenage years. I am now 44, had top surgery in 2016, started T in 2018 and didn't take the testosterone like i should have because i had not came out to the world. However in April i cam out to all my friends and family and I am going to move forward with taking testosterone. I think, I have so many doubts, but being trans is something i have researched for most of my life. I feel like i keep researching this because it's who i am. I have no idea why i am so full of doubt. I have passed as a boy since i was a young child, i passed before T. I have been mis-gendered my whole life. I thought maybe I was just MOC, non binary, transmasculine, but then I feel like i just need to come to terms with who I am and accept and move forward with giving this transition everything with in me that I have been researching for so many long years.
Your absolutely right hormones make a big difference and I am so much happier being my true self. I do wish I started sooner. Thank you for making these videos sister. Be yourself everyone else is taken.
Years ago I heard an interview with a plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills who lists facial feminization surgery (FFS) as one of his specialties and it blew me away when he said the majority of his clients who get FFS are Cisgender women.
I wanted to be female all my life. I looked into transitioning in 1970 when I was 12. What I saw then scared me. I CDd for a while, then met a girl and married, had 2 daughters and a wonderful life. Four years ago my wife of 36 years passed away. All alone, I started crossdressing once again,. this time with privacy and money. I fell hard (closets FULL of dresses & shoes) and soon was dressing almost all the time. Bottom line, I'm able to transition now, but I'm 63. Everyone over 18 that has done it regrets not starting earlier. What's that say for 63?! Should I lose all my friends or just keep crossdressing (which is a lot of fun, but it's not full time). I have grown my breasts to a 38D with Puertaria Mirifica and have a bit of a head start there. I'm obsessed with at least living as a woman and the urge gets stronger every day. I'm dressed 90% + of the time now, only returning to drab when I must, but I hate sneaking around and now, binding my breasts. I want so badly to go full time, but don't want to commit 'social suicide'. I don't know what to do, but I'm going to do something SOON.
I'm transition on hormones now I'm 74 and I wish I could have done it years ago I've always wanted since I was a little boy and I'm going to go all the way
I’m ready to start to transition I’m 31 years old. Please keep in prayers can’t wait till I tell my mom and looking for a place to live. Really need help thank you so much for your help. I’m ready to transition to a woman. Pray for my insurance to accept and cover it completely
Thank you for your encouragement. I'm so scared to continue without transitioning but I'm also tired of living my life for other people and denying myself. I just don't know how to get started and pay for all the surgeries.
As a FtM potential, my biggest concern or "excuse" is my marriage. My husband has ZERO attract to guys. We seriously feel that at best we'd be is really good friends suck in a sexless relationship.. That's literally the only thing keeping me from wanting to change..
Alexis has been so great with me. She has been my therapist for several months now. She helped me get on HRT and has given me so much support in my transition. Thanks to her, I am now living and presenting as a full time girl. I am on top of the world. I had no idea it would be this good. I love it. Ill never go back to being a boy. It is such an amazing feeling to have the world look at you and treat you like a girl. This was the hardest decision of my life, but also the best decision that I ever made. I finally feel like myself. At 48 years old, I am so happy, free, and peaceful. I'm living a dream. Thank you, Alexis !
I'm glad I found this channel. As a young kid I knew who I was, but my religious family made it a big trauma. So I was confused all through my 20's, then being from the deep rural south I was too scared from 30 to 60. Even when I moved to a non "right to work" state i.e. wage slave state, the fear remained for my career. When the SCOTUS ruled June 15th 2020 that LGBT rights are covered by the civil rights act of 1964 I came out everywhere the very next day, under quarantine. At least I can retire, live awhile and die happy as me now. While changing young is preferable for very serious biological reasons, I swear it's also true that it's NEVER to late.
I like her videos and found her advice helpful. I think that the decision to transition is personal and that we each have our own, unique journey. There are pros and cons and we need to keep our eyes open. I just got tired of living in a closet and denying myself. I had to face my truth before I die.
This video helped me a lot regarding fears, uncertainties and anxieties about concerns of physicality and apperance. A larger issue even than this for me though, is fear and worries for my family, community and marriage.
I'm 55 and only started. I'm not on hormones yet and tried makeup to feminize my features last night. I almost quit. I picked up my phone this morning, yours was the second video this morning that addressed my fears, every one you mentioned except being too tall, I'm 5' 6". Thank you so much.
I think family, job, and marriage place higher than physical appearance on the excuse list. Would love to hear your take on approaching a transition with a famiy that wont understand or a job you will lose. Fear of bigotry and violence as well.
I noticed she quit replying to most all recent comments. You are very correct on all points. And it is all points that I am dealing with as well. MAINLY money & job. Leta face this fact: Even IF you can become the woman you desire, what good is it if you are starving to death, frozen cold, and sleeping in your car that the bank wants to repo??? Those that "make it through" are often time well financially heeled. Just saying.
I am loving your videos. They are very helpful and encouraging, and have motivated me, at the age of 60, to begin seeing a counselor about transition. I am excited about the journey ahead, but have some of the very common fears like family rejection and employment for starters. I trust my counselor will be able to help with these issues.
Wow what a great video. These are things I wanted to write about in my journal because sometimes I worry about these things and causes me to hold back a lot.
Thank you so much for your videos, I've been researching for so long and these have helped more than all of the research I've done, I learnt so much I've only just started transitioning and am not on hrt yet, I was doing the excuse thing, but now after watching your videos it's rejuvenated my thinking and I know I have to become the real me, I absolutely can't wait to start hrt now Thanks again, you're wonderful!!!!!!
As much as this is helping and you're literally saying the same things I've been telling myself, it's still really hard. I'm still trying to come to terms with it all. I have a beard. I shave my head (guess it would be easier to put on wigs at least?). I'm 25 and I'm so far in the closet I'm drinking tea in Narnia. It's a primal fear. Where do I start? What will people think? How do I go about this as subtly as possible? I can't just show up in a wig and a dress one day. Maybe shave the beard, work on the walk? Start doing very tiny amounts of makeup that almost no one will notice and slowly work my way up? I wish there were people to talk to about it but then I'm afraid of that too. Like if I meet at an LGBT meeting and walk in looking the way I do now, and say hey I really think I'm trans and I don't know what to do or where to start, what are they going to think of me?
Omg, this. I am 32 and just came out to my first person, your comment reminds me of how I felt years ago (and still today). Its so scary. I almost bailed and didn't come out, but now it feels freeing because I'm not hiding (completely) anymore. I just so wish I had the balls (oh the irony) to start sooner. I started growing out my hair at the beginning of this year(2019). My plan is to start laser hair removal for my face and HRT in the next month or so. I'll practice makeup at home and as my facial hair fades start wearing some when I'm out. I will start wearing body shapers under my normal work clothes and probably start wearing a sports bra. I have a habit of biting my nails so my Christmas gift to myself is going to be a manicure. The point is that it's a process and will take time, years even. Some day I go to work in a skirt but by then I will have been just another girl at work that it wont be strange. Best luck -
@@cassiopeiakidd7927 ugh thank you so much, I feel so heard! I want to start makeup but I went to Walmart and quickly realized I had no idea what I was doing and felt like the whole world was staring at me so I chickened out and went home but I'll try again soon. And the laser hair removal is on my list too :) Good luck to you too sister, never be afraid to reach out or whatever if you need to vent or something ❤
@@FeralKobold Totes, on walmart. But its walmart nobody there cares about anything, have you seen /r/peopleofwalmart/ ? I went overboard for my first kit and spent almost 200. I bought a little makeup bag, concealer, foundation, blush, mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow, highlight powder, setting powder, and brushes. All the cheapest brand and it works great. But you can get away with half that or less for practice. My recommendation tho, just get mascara if nothing else. You can wear it to work and most likely nobody will notice; the first step on a long journey.
Thank you for this video. Excuses I (and my family) struggle with...age and build being the dominant ones. We can overcome these now, in fact...I can overcome these...
I want to start hormones, but personally I'm scared to fully transition due to society cramming being a male down my throat so long, I don't want the same thing to occur if I'm a woman. Like having boons and a vagina scares me as much as being already male. I love people thinking I'm a woman, and I want to go on hrt, but I'm afraid of losing the neutral ground freedom of non binary. I just don't know how to feel, personally I just wish gender wasn't a thing or that I looked like a girl but gender less.
Ashlyn Grimes maybe just transition to be more feminine, you don’t have to transition to be 100%. The most feminine being ever just to where you feel happy
I have a real good place to help me to transition they are very help full on helped me to become the women I feel like I should be inside.thank you for your help.THANK YOU!
I got fired from my job for transitioning... I was a federal worker. My department manager was very hostile towards trans community (she was a lesbian but she somehow hates LGBTQ community.). She made some ridiculous exagerrated excuses to fire me. Before transition she was willing to promote me to gs-11 job....
Thank you so much for the information it is very helpful what I'm going through right now you recommend finding one or two women to guide you to go shopping with you I wish I had that resource but I don't any recommendations
My excuse was that I couldn’t face telling family and friends - especially my parents and my (ex)in-laws (my ex knew and was supportive). I used to say “I’m just glad I know this about myself now! No need to shake up everyone’s lives. Maybe someday, if your parents and my parents all die in a freak accident...” Eventually, that didn’t cut it. My family has been overwhelmingly supportive, and our friends were as well. My ex’s parents, however, weren’t; they actually cut him off for awhile, with an email stating they “couldn’t bear to speak to him as long as he’s embracing the gay lifestyle.” We’d been married for years at that point, literally nothing changed about his “lifestyle.” It’s about 8 years since I began. The ex-in-laws did end up systematically eroding our marriage (or rather, my ex allowed them to). Lost the marriage, kept the dog - and kept myself. 100% glad I made the decisions I did; no regrets!
This video was very comforting and reassuring in a way that reminded me of a teacher or a therapist. I don't really worry about my physical appearance if I am to transition, and any worries I did have were alleviated by this video, but this video did bring up some worries. I'm a rather large sized man (currently), and have decently sized muscles and am just over 6'. I don't want to lose the muscles or the height, as they are my only masculine traits I am very proud of.
I was and honestly still am willing and wanting to go through with it,but recently i got replied to a comment that made me sad as heck,despite taking the high ground and avouding confrontation,i felt and still feel a little tug at my heart from the sadness,same one i felt when i was told i couldn't go for my desired chest size but i decided to go with slightly lower and still amazing for me,plus there's the matter of still being on ny first step and afraid of outing myself to my family..
oh my God thank you so much everything you just said was the questions that I had I have been transitioning for a year now but but it only go out in public at night time because I was afraid this video has given me so much confidence thank you so much
This was pretty interesting because as I'm FTM my "excuses" are just the opposite. I have a rare disease that's made me short (1,50m=4ft 11in) and I'm not muscular at all and probably won't be after my transition, since the disease also harms the muscles and cismen with this disease aren't muscular. I often think no one will take me for a real man, that wherever I go people will look at me because I'm short even for a woman. I know these are excuses, but they make me scared to transition.
Thank you very much for your videos. Such a blessing that I found you here.. It has really clarified some confusion that I've had for some time. In the next few weeks I would love to help with a donation for your student loans. ☺
Tbh I'm scared of becoming a woman. I'm afraid of harassment, unwanted attention (I hate attention, I played in a couple of bands and I'd hide behind the frontman while on stage lol), how I'll be treated if I pass, how I'd be treated if I don't, I'm afraid of losing my job if I started presenting there and if keeping the man persona 40 hrs a week will be crushing when I adjust into myself. I've only come out to my best friend and she has been so wonderful. Folks think we're sleeping together but in reality she's doing my makeup, letting me try her clothes, and having girl talk during our sleep overs.
since having spent time living as a woman i definitely experienced harassment unwanted attention like i could literally feel every males eyes scanning over me when I would walk through any public crowded area, much worse if not so crowded and the males are in a small group then basically guaranteed comments not always inappropriate language quite often some rather flattering comments but often just one sexually slanted phrase would leave me feeling like i was on display for them to inspect.
I have known since about age 4 or 5. I waited until after I retired, and after my wife and I agreed for me to transition. Over the course of two and one-half years I went from counseling, electrolysis, HRT, breast augmentation and finally, two days after my 76th birthday, had the bottom surgery. I have never been happier. At the end, I will not be lying in hospice regretting bitterly that I never had the courage to do this. And my marriage of over 50 years remains strong, deep, warm and loving. She is right. You are never too old.
Here some valid reason to avoid transitioning. 1. Financial issues 2. Complications (You need a doctor to get a proper medications and obviously surgeries) 3. Family, Work, Country laws, or Social. In some country, people might be no accepting at all. 4. There is no doctor in your country that allows you to get legal medication including changing legal gender translation for ID and stuff.
I'm autistic also and autism is not different from us. That's what we are. We are the autism. There can't be a separation of the neurodivergency from a "real self" that isn't there, if considered a part that isn't meant on its own
Precis: These negative thoughts are not reasons to prevent transitioning: (1) You cannot say that you will not be passable after transitioning or that you will not be pretty. No one knows. The change may take 7 years to complete; (2) I'm too old. You are never too old; (3) I'm losing my hair. Testosterone blockers may reverse this; (4) You are never too tall. Do not be afraid to wear heels if you are a tall transitioner: (5) You are too muscular. Anti-androgens will reduce this mass; (6) Anti-androgens will lessen body hair. The focus of the trans woman should be inner happiness being a woman. Don't worry about being a model. Just be you. We missed out how the world perceives you in terms of sexual bigotry, cross-gender toilets, cross gender sports, de-transitioning. But a really supportive video for those beginning on their journey. Thank You.
thank you for posting these videos after watching these videos i gained the courage to come out to my family and friends how ever right now i am in the army reserves and i have a good excuse as to why i am not transitioning at this time and that because of the lack of funds cause the reserves is my only income and i cannot afford it how ever i have come to terms with who i am but unable to look like myself like i need to
My excuse for not transitioning: I’m too much of a coward to come out as trans.
Same
You only grow by doing. Test yourself, and next time you'll have an inch more confidence.
@@chris__10 So true .
Your confidence will grow and your fear of what people might think of you in a negative way will taper off.
This is who you truly are , this is your path in life, not simply existing but living.💕
As I like to say, "To become a woman, you need to have great manhood."
I like the honesty... Same
as a cisgendered woman, I can tell you that most cis women don't even look "feminine enough" for society. Most women put a lot of work in everyday to come off as "pretty", take a look at prison inmates, that's the natural woman. What I'm trying to say is, if there is a will, there is a way. It's all about skill, hun. ALL about skill.
I believe "passing" is about confidence. If you own how you look and you just confidently inform people of your gender when they make a mistake, people will fall in line. It's not so much about convincing others that you belong, as much as it is convincing yourself that you belong.
true there
when i see documentaries of most of the women in this world they do look like prison inmates: the women who were in the covered wagons during the expansion of the West here in the USA; the Russian workers in the fields struggling to survive; the women in Europe who were not royalty/aristocracy/beautiful; women in offices who run the economy and business for half the pay; women at home throughout the history of the world having babies, raising kids and keeping the hubby happy. there are times i wish i had some of their talent...or a nice set of tits.
Dayumm! That's real talk; some cis women look more masculine than some cis men too; I got 48" hips w a 42-39-48 figure w b cup titties!
Or see how military members are after a field problem. Lol all natural.
Or another excuse that haunts me is "Someone expects me to be a son, brother, father, Godfather, etc." It's quite affecting my desire to transition due to someone's controlling/manipulative acts. I try to be the gender that I was born, not the one that I feel that I am. But... as you say that it's all excuses. Life is unfair to some and that's including me.
thats exactly what I feel hey. The fear might be too much for me..
We aren't here to fulfill their assignments.
+CA Catr
You are right.
Thank you
I hear ya.. That's a big one..
ahh;; i know that one real well, mate. but, we are in charge of our own lives. you don't have to fill the roles other people give you; you can decide. there might he pressure to do things a certain way, but in the end, it's all up to you 👍
Oh dear, the girls out there who are afraid they're too tall, I absolutely LOVE a tall woman! Don't let that stop you!
I’m scared I’m too big shoulders and chest to ever pass
I am just too tall 6.3 I am a monster I will never be accepted 😭😭
@@gemmafenner5445 YOU'RE A TALL QUEEN AND THAT'S AMAZING DON'T YOU LET YOURSELF THINK OTHERWISE!!!
@@deborah_chrysoprase
Bless you x
But every day someone calls me a man! Because I am so tall. I am not a man , what's the point of being a woman if you are going to be called a man each day
@@gemmafenner5445 I've only been out publicly for a month now so I'm certainly no expert yet, but it's something you owe to yourself to help you feel the way you want to feel. And it IS much harder when you are having difficulty passing, but you can get over that, and you can improve that over time too. Me personally, I've just committed to being out every day and dealing with the dysphoria day by day as it comes, and I pass to some people and not others, and I just work on each of those as an opportunity to feel myself despite whatever everyone else sees me as. It's tough, it's very difficult and I'm not going to downplay how hard that is, but you've been strong enough to make it this far and you owe it to yourself to keep working at it every day.
My biggest fear of transitioning is changing my mind halfway through
me too. this is why I go by genderqueer right now.. but I feel like it's all a rouse and I need to be honest with myself
The statistics are on your side. Of transitioners, less than 8% experience regret. It's as low as
@@KalavinkaK But what if I am one of that 1%? Then I will lose my old self and will never gain a new one.
I would stay away from medical transitioning. If you only transition socially, you will have less trouble with de-transitioning if you regret it.
Your comment is from 2 years ago. Did you transition?
@@KalavinkaK lol, what statistics? Detransitioners are immediately dropped by their community and the medical staff who butchered them.
I'm worried about losing my financial stability.
Me too
That's a very valid fear, but you could lose that at any time regardless.
How did it go?
@@MsChristyCox still hanging in there, but I wish it wasn't so expensive
@@Rezkeshdadesh I know . I'm glad your well though. I'm in a similar situation. Stay safe .💕🤩
I wish you would make one of these for FTM, or more FTM related videos in general. You make very good videos. Cheers.
SomeStuff I agree
I am currently editing a video for FTM folx right now. :)
+TheTransitionChannel I came out to my Mother. She tells me that me transitioning from Male To Female will lead me in my elderly years to looking like a "Male-Female Hybrid". I wish that {quote} was pacifically addressed in this video. {I'm 38 yrs old}.
username1nmillion Look around. People look how they look, and nothing (nothing) is worth not living the truth, not living who you are. Hugs to you in the truth!
SomeStuff they did
I started transitioning when I was 35 and I'm 40 now. I have no regrets. Although I wish I could have started sooner, I know it likely would not have been possible.
Not an excuse, I just wasn't fully aware of myself as a transgender person when I was younger.
Your comment is from 3 years ago. How are you doing now?
I had a teacher who had prostate cancer and was put on testosterone blockers, and he was bald. Once he went on the blockers, within a few months, he had a full head of hair again.
Yes, seriously?
lie
Henri 1243 It’s possible to regain lost hair by being on anti androgens, but it will take longer than a “few months.”
@@GalaxyGal- lie😁
Wiow! Solid Citizen!
I started at 41 and now I'm feeling a lot better in life, but I do regret starting later.
I first started out dressing up as a woman and I got to say I feel beautiful,free,happy,and me more than a guy and i'm in my mid 40's and first time as I look at myself as a woman I say WOW, i'm beautiful as a woman then as a guy but sadly 7 years on hormones too long for me to blossoming into a beautiful rare butterfly ready to take on the world and fly first time..
I'm 62 and just starting to transition. It's such a relief to end the act.
@@Summer-kb2dm awesome news Susan , it does feel wonderful .
@@BrieBrowne I does feel wonderful.
The choice in being yourself or living a lie is not a choice.
@@Summer-kb2dm agreed, i was a head doorman, hiding behind a uniform acting tough, dont like fighting, or aggresive behaviour, so i used to send in the other crowd controllers, to do the hands on approach. They would ask me why i would just stand on the door, i said someone has to do the paperwork, the reports, speak to staff and bystanders, police, and if it goes to court i would have to attend .....
I started at 76 years, I have never been so happy & comfortable. I will in all likelihood have to wear wear wig, oh well. My dysphoria is rather severe it has been for decades, it seems to get worse as times passes. I got tired of fighting it. When my wife passed away it was easier for me to be me. She knew all about my situation.
❤️ 62 here, and I feel the same.
I transitioned 5+ years ago at 60 and I'm loving every minute! You're NOT too old, get started ASAP! You'll regret it if you don't. I'll never get tired of living as a woman!
Literally every worry I had. Thank you. I feel I can look into myself to better see if this is really what I need. I feel more comfortable now.
When I was younger I always kinda wanted to be a girl. I played with them, always liked 'girlish' things, but a lot of the time I tried dissacociating myself with being 'girlish'. Me and my sister would play house a lot, and I wanted to be the daughter but I just ended up being the dog. When I got a little older I didn't know being 'transgender' was a thing, but at some point I looked up if it was possible to get a sex change and I was really ecstatic. Although I always tell myself 'what if I regret it?'
As a statistic only 2.2% of people regret it if that provides any comfort
Ivan DoesGameing That's good to know. It's just that I worry that what I feel is different from what I think it is...
+SmexyAnimuBlitches Thanks for sharing your story. I found it amusing that you ended up being the dog (you poor, girl...you don't want to have to live a dog's life LOL). I don't really have any advice. The only thing that comes to mind is whatever decision you make you'll always wonder if you made the right decision. I think that's normal.
If it's in your heart, I strongly doubt you'll regret it, or question it. People say they wish they'd done it sooner. Relief and joy comes, and with it peace. :) There's nothing like living the truth of who you really are. :)
Omg we have a similar story except I wanted to be the mother
Thank you for this video. It helped me transition. I’m now two years on hormone replacement therapy and it’s a giant relief.
I'm renewing my transition in my very-early-fifties. I have drawn some strength from the saying that the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, but the second best time is right now. I gave up on my last serious period of gender exploration about 15 years ago b/c I was disgusted with my broad shoulders & generally male figure. Now I accept that I may never look as natural as my Mom & sisters but I'm happier with any feminization I can manage.
Love you! Im doing my transission now at 38.
Nova Nouveau i’m too, 38, 2 1/2 months hrt
I want to go back i was m2f..then went back to male and I no it was the wrong thing to do and now I wanna go back in 37 I'm going throw so much thinking of it can u help me with some words 😔😭
Solid Citizen!
that is about how old I was when I first started. I'm 46 now. I lost a lot of body hair over time on hormones. I had a reseeding hair line but it did fill in a little but the skin texter changed so the spot is not so pronounced any more. I am a lot more happy and most of the excuses she speaks of I dealt with also. I don't feel I was to tall but I still got a little shorter. lol. as far as losing family and friends goes. It takes time for people to come around. what is gradually going on in your mind is change that you get to see but for others it seems like you did not take time to think about it. I lost a lot my male friends by my own choice but you do gain new friends.
Me to just turned 38 and am starting
One of my excuses is that it's just a phase because I'm around the age of puberty
I started at puberty and now i'm a passable woman, Passing after the puberty will be more difficult for you (you will need voice training, facial feminization surgery and laser if you want to be passable and if your genetics are shit you may never pass) so I advice to start at least puberty blockers now
Or maybe it just a phase and you can learn to love who you were born as. Maybe just because you enjoy things that are typically of the opposite sex doesn't make you the opposite sex. 80% of young people change their minds. And often it's too late to undo the damage they've done to their bodies.
You don't have to immediately make the decision because you're scared of getting old when you're not yet sure whether you're trans or not yet, the best course of action would be to take hormone blockers and start hrt once you're sure about your identity
@@sweety4271984 You're VERY wrong. Where did you find that statistic? Less than 5% of trans individuals regret transitioning, if that.
I mean I'm 41 and I still have thoughts of being female, the same thoughts that I had when I was a young child. So if it's a phase then it's been a really long phase.
Great video!
I absolutely agree with you about the goal of transition not being about becoming a beauty queen. In fact, I feel strongly that we are in a good position to fight against beauty standards, so long as we are in a position mentally healthy and stable enough to overcome our insecurities (and we ALL have insecurities). With that said, I think that having a goal to be as pretty or handsome as you can be is okay, so long as that goal doesn't consume you. You should always work to find value in yourself beyond your appearance, because in those dark days when your confidence is low and you feel ugly and rejected, you will need to hold onto that value that isn't a part of what your mind is attacking about yourself.
I find value in myself that I'm smart, empathetic, skilled in my line of work, a hard worker, etc. No one can attack my appearance and take away my self-value. And they can only impact my confidence for a short time, and then only if I let them.
But reaching this point wasn't easy, and was the result of my wife calling me out multiple times, and even reaching a crisis point in our relationship. Puberty isn't easy, even the second time around! And you might have to learn some life lessons all over again. But you can do it! And you don't have to do it alone. Find a good therapist like Alexis. Find a good community for support- online or local, or both! Talk to your ally friends. Talk to you ally family.
♥ for all my trans sisters, brothers, and enbies! Be safe and live well!
Well said. Thank you so much for the compliment.
I really like your videos- I wish you were able to produce them more frequently these days! They are very informative and helpful. I wish I had them early in my transition nearly years ago lol, but I'm so glad our newer trans fam will have them going forward!
Also- I wanted to also echo your point about finding a therapist who is familiar with and trained to help with trans issues. I had another therapist a little while ago who was only vaguely familiar with trans issues and now I have one who specializes in treating trans people and the difference is night and day! You can have another therapist for your non-trans stuff still, but definitely find a therapist who knows about trans stuff because we encounter some rather unique problems out in the wild. ♥
AylaZeroFire " out in the wild" :) Very accurate. ~ Sweet Hoorays for you in your journey; it sounds like you're doing well, and I'm SO happy for you! :)
I don't want to step on anyone's toes, but as a CIS woman I've found this video inspiring. A lot of your advice chimed with me. Thank you. I'll bear this advice in mind.
I'm 62 and I came out (only to myself and a couple of therapists) as a transgender woman a couple of weeks ago - this is so helpful - Thank you.
Omg me to
@@jessica_marz it's been nearly 3 years ago. I came out in May of 21. Crazy to come out so late in life isn't it? 🙂 I've been very fortunate in my journey. Good luck on yours. Wish you all the best ❤️
I love you!!! this is exactly what I needed to listen. I'm 27 and I was thinking that it was too late for me, and these excuses are excuses that I could use, because I have all of these, but as you said, they're just excuses. Thank you so much for this video.
I never knew you could lose height from transitioning! I always worried about garnering too much attention if I transition since I'm 6'1, but if I can get to around 5'11 I may be able to pass as a tall girl.
Now I suddenly get a huge boost of confidence. Thanks for posting this video!
Well you have just made me feel much worse about myself. I am 6.3!!!! Thanks a bunch I will cut my throat
If you lose height as an adult that's actually not a good sigh. It may mean early osteoporosis. 🤐
I feel like I need to be a boy. Really badly. But I fear that I won't want to be a boy after I do transition. But I know I won't. I'm terrified that people will hate me and reject me too. These videos are getting to me. They make me realize how bad my disphoria really is.
I feel the same..
You are not alone. I am often depressed due to my dysphoria but am unable to find a way out (yet).
I think I feel the same as ou do..
@David Vanpatten Fuck off
I know it's too late to probably help with this from years later.
But if you have genuine dysphoria it means something is wrong inside. There's always a reason. I hope you can find the hurt inside and get healing.
Thankyou for your reply. I am learning to love myself more and more it's just now that I've told friends and family I need to be charletta more than ever. All these years of hiding has built up to the point now I feel stronger than ever to go through with a full transition. No turning back. Love charletta
These videos really have helped me. I just came out a couple months ago, started hormone therapy this month. I'm starting to feel a bit better, but I'm really starting to feel the emotional effects, and had to leave work because of it today. But other than that, I'm feeling pretty positive.
This is the most helpful thing I’ve seen since I started transitioning
You are such a kind human being and a fantastic resource. I hope we continue to get more medical professionals like you!
My voice sounds like it's from the depths of he'll.
My voice is so deep too Lol but I'm trying still but in private
It's not that hard and takes time. 20 minutes a day with practice and it will conform for you .
Voice training and it'll be the peaks of she'll!
I know the physical stuff all works itself out. My concerns wold be much more social, i.e. I have 5 kids who have always known me as their dad, and how this could affect THEM
You hit the nail right on the head that first excuse is definitely was stuck in my mind I will still transition no matter what I've never loved myself this much of my life
You are not too old to transition. I am 60. I finally came to the self-realization that I was transwoman only 6 weeks ago. It was amazing. My major depression and anxiety disorders mostly disappeared within days. I thought they were lifelong. My therapist was sooo happy for me. I didn't wait to start. I bought clothes: underwear, skinny leg jeans, girlie tops, leggings, cute little jumpers, bling, and started wearing only them. I ordered a beautiful slay blonde wig, and now I wear it every time I go out. I came out to my colleagues at school, I'm an elementary school music teacher. The kids love my transition. I started learning makeup. Now I wear it even if it's not perfect. I posted tons of pics on FB and Instagram. I'm looking almost like a young girl and absolutely loving myself. Just look at my profile pic. I took it with my phone, no photoshopping. I don't get to see my trans doctor for the first time for another 5 weeks, but I'm not waiting. I found my true self, I'm going for it now. You can too!
I feel so incredibly relieved to have finally started to try to be myself, and to believe that I actually can be. Thank you, Alexis!
I love your video and glad i found it. But you didn't mention the reason that I'm scared to transition. Itsfear of losing family and friends. I have told a couple of close female friends about it but the few I have told i trusted them and they are supportive of it. But I know most won't. I have been on Spironolactone for 7 months now and I'm made up my mind that by February or March I'm going to go on HRT. Well thats my goal anyway. I practice putting on makeup and clothes around the house but havebyet to go out in public. I even went to a speech therapist to try and sound feminine. Well thats my story so far. BTW I'm 67 years old and always thought i was to old until watching TH-cam. Thanks for reading.v
I wish I found this video five years ago. This was perfect for me
What about the reasons of Lack of Finances/Insurance and lack of a good job situation and lack of support from family and loved ones. I’m not in an ideal situation and badly need/want to Transition fully someday to be my True Authentic Self of a Transgender Christian Woman! Prayers appreciated! Thanks! Love your videos! Hope to see more soon! And would love to meet you someday, Lord Willing?!
Paddy Thank You! I appreciate that! I’m still in a very difficult situation unfortunately. But I’m praying every day and am taking some steps. I appreciate your prayers! God Bless! Hugs!
I'm 66 and began transition at 64, Alex is right, I had vaginoplasty 6 months ago and I have never been happier. She helped me tremendously, My life is wonderful now, I finally feel right, I am so glad I did it!
Not even 2 minutes and you make me feel so much less scared about this journey.
At first I thought I was too old but now I so proud of myself. Yes my bald spot filling in superbly. I’m so happy that I’m finally on my way to becoming a woman that I am. Thank you for the video 💕
I like your chanel very informative I am a transwoman a husband and father I want to transition but I am in school and my wife can not except me as my true self and my heart hurts because I will lose my love and because I have reminders all around me every time I look in the mirror I don't see me I see a stranger I feel like my head is going to explode
Thank you so much for all the help you have provided me this past year Alexis! I have fought with this for so long, and I will not lie it is extremely difficult. Yet to finally start to be myself has been so wonderful. Anyone who is trans, I must say that I do not recommend that you try it alone. Alexis knows the hurdles that we face. Thank you again Alexis. I will always be in your debt
I've have been researching Transgenders since the early 90s in my teenage years. I am now 44, had top surgery in 2016, started T in 2018 and didn't take the testosterone like i should have because i had not came out to the world. However in April i cam out to all my friends and family and I am going to move forward with taking testosterone. I think, I have so many doubts, but being trans is something i have researched for most of my life. I feel like i keep researching this because it's who i am. I have no idea why i am so full of doubt. I have passed as a boy since i was a young child, i passed before T. I have been mis-gendered my whole life. I thought maybe I was just MOC, non binary, transmasculine, but then I feel like i just need to come to terms with who I am and accept and move forward with giving this transition everything with in me that I have been researching for so many long years.
Your absolutely right hormones make a big difference and I am so much happier being my true self. I do wish I started sooner. Thank you for making these videos sister. Be yourself everyone else is taken.
Years ago I heard an interview with a plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills who lists facial feminization surgery (FFS) as one of his specialties and it blew me away when he said the majority of his clients who get FFS are Cisgender women.
I wanted to be female all my life. I looked into transitioning in 1970 when I was 12. What I saw then scared me. I CDd for a while, then met a girl and married, had 2 daughters and a wonderful life. Four years ago my wife of 36 years passed away. All alone, I started crossdressing once again,. this time with privacy and money. I fell hard (closets FULL of dresses & shoes) and soon was dressing almost all the time. Bottom line, I'm able to transition now, but I'm 63. Everyone over 18 that has done it regrets not starting earlier. What's that say for 63?! Should I lose all my friends or just keep crossdressing (which is a lot of fun, but it's not full time). I have grown my breasts to a 38D with Puertaria Mirifica and have a bit of a head start there. I'm obsessed with at least living as a woman and the urge gets stronger every day. I'm dressed 90% + of the time now, only returning to drab when I must, but I hate sneaking around and now, binding my breasts. I want so badly to go full time, but don't want to commit 'social suicide'. I don't know what to do, but I'm going to do something SOON.
Spot on!
Yes! Yes! Yes!!!!!!! Finally someone talked about "I'm too hairy" . I love you for giving me all of this hope . Ilyyyyy
I'm transition on hormones now I'm 74 and I wish I could have done it years ago I've always wanted since I was a little boy and I'm going to go all the way
I’m ready to start to transition I’m 31 years old. Please keep in prayers can’t wait till I tell my mom and looking for a place to live. Really need help thank you so much for your help. I’m ready to transition to a woman. Pray for my insurance to accept and cover it completely
protect this woman at all costs
Thank you for your encouragement. I'm so scared to continue without transitioning but I'm also tired of living my life for other people and denying myself. I just don't know how to get started and pay for all the surgeries.
As a FtM potential, my biggest concern or "excuse" is my marriage. My husband has ZERO attract to guys. We seriously feel that at best we'd be is really good friends suck in a sexless relationship.. That's literally the only thing keeping me from wanting to change..
So did you end up transitioning?
Alexis has been so great with me. She has been my therapist for several months now. She helped me get on HRT and has given me so much support in my transition. Thanks to her, I am now living and presenting as a full time girl. I am on top of the world. I had no idea it would be this good. I love it. Ill never go back to being a boy. It is such an amazing feeling to have the world look at you and treat you like a girl. This was the hardest decision of my life, but also the best decision that I ever made. I finally feel like myself. At 48 years old, I am so happy, free, and peaceful. I'm living a dream. Thank you, Alexis !
I'm glad I found this channel.
As a young kid I knew who I was, but my religious family made it a big trauma.
So I was confused all through my 20's, then being from the deep rural south I was too scared from 30 to 60.
Even when I moved to a non "right to work" state i.e. wage slave state, the fear remained for my career.
When the SCOTUS ruled June 15th 2020 that LGBT rights are covered by the civil rights act of 1964 I came out everywhere the very next day, under quarantine.
At least I can retire, live awhile and die happy as me now.
While changing young is preferable for very serious biological reasons, I swear it's also true that it's NEVER to late.
I like her videos and found her advice helpful. I think that the decision to transition is personal and that we each have our own, unique journey.
There are pros and cons and we need to keep our eyes open.
I just got tired of living in a closet and denying myself. I had to face my truth before I die.
This video helped me a lot regarding fears, uncertainties and anxieties about concerns of physicality and apperance. A larger issue even than this for me though, is fear and worries for my family, community and marriage.
Thank you for doing this video. You hit so many of my excuses. When I prance around on my heels, I'm 6'4", which is kinda fun!
I am SO glad that I stumbled onto this channel! Thank you so much for this!
I'm 55 and only started. I'm not on hormones yet and tried makeup to feminize my features last night. I almost quit.
I picked up my phone this morning, yours was the second video this morning that addressed my fears, every one you mentioned except being too tall, I'm 5' 6".
Thank you so much.
Stay out of women's spaces.
You can stop before it is too late. Come on dude, 55 ? Why even bother, youre only ever going to be a man so why cant you accept that?
I think family, job, and marriage place higher than physical appearance on the excuse list. Would love to hear your take on approaching a transition with a famiy that wont understand or a job you will lose. Fear of bigotry and violence as well.
I noticed she quit replying to most all recent comments.
You are very correct on all points. And it is all points that I am dealing with as well. MAINLY money & job.
Leta face this fact: Even IF you can become the woman you desire, what good is it if you are starving to death, frozen cold, and sleeping in your car that the bank wants to repo???
Those that "make it through" are often time well financially heeled. Just saying.
I am loving your videos. They are very helpful and encouraging, and have motivated me, at the age of 60, to begin seeing a counselor about transition. I am excited about the journey ahead, but have some of the very common fears like family rejection and employment for starters. I trust my counselor will be able to help with these issues.
Could you make a vid about FTM excuses?
Mel B. They did
Mel B. Can’t find it in their videos, only the one mtf video
She talked about ftm losing their hair in this video
Wow what a great video. These are things I wanted to write about in my journal because sometimes I worry about these things and causes me to hold back a lot.
Thank you so much for this video ... I really need it ....
Thank you so much for your videos, I've been researching for so long and these have helped more than all of the research I've done, I learnt so much
I've only just started transitioning and am not on hrt yet, I was doing the excuse thing, but now after watching your videos it's rejuvenated my thinking and I know I have to become the real me, I absolutely can't wait to start hrt now
Thanks again, you're wonderful!!!!!!
As much as this is helping and you're literally saying the same things I've been telling myself, it's still really hard. I'm still trying to come to terms with it all. I have a beard. I shave my head (guess it would be easier to put on wigs at least?). I'm 25 and I'm so far in the closet I'm drinking tea in Narnia.
It's a primal fear. Where do I start? What will people think? How do I go about this as subtly as possible? I can't just show up in a wig and a dress one day. Maybe shave the beard, work on the walk? Start doing very tiny amounts of makeup that almost no one will notice and slowly work my way up?
I wish there were people to talk to about it but then I'm afraid of that too. Like if I meet at an LGBT meeting and walk in looking the way I do now, and say hey I really think I'm trans and I don't know what to do or where to start, what are they going to think of me?
Omg, this. I am 32 and just came out to my first person, your comment reminds me of how I felt years ago (and still today).
Its so scary. I almost bailed and didn't come out, but now it feels freeing because I'm not hiding (completely) anymore. I just so wish I had the balls (oh the irony) to start sooner.
I started growing out my hair at the beginning of this year(2019). My plan is to start laser hair removal for my face and HRT in the next month or so. I'll practice makeup at home and as my facial hair fades start wearing some when I'm out. I will start wearing body shapers under my normal work clothes and probably start wearing a sports bra. I have a habit of biting my nails so my Christmas gift to myself is going to be a manicure.
The point is that it's a process and will take time, years even. Some day I go to work in a skirt but by then I will have been just another girl at work that it wont be strange. Best luck -
@@cassiopeiakidd7927 ugh thank you so much, I feel so heard! I want to start makeup but I went to Walmart and quickly realized I had no idea what I was doing and felt like the whole world was staring at me so I chickened out and went home but I'll try again soon. And the laser hair removal is on my list too :) Good luck to you too sister, never be afraid to reach out or whatever if you need to vent or something ❤
@@FeralKobold Totes, on walmart. But its walmart nobody there cares about anything, have you seen /r/peopleofwalmart/ ?
I went overboard for my first kit and spent almost 200. I bought a little makeup bag, concealer, foundation, blush, mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow, highlight powder, setting powder, and brushes. All the cheapest brand and it works great. But you can get away with half that or less for practice.
My recommendation tho, just get mascara if nothing else. You can wear it to work and most likely nobody will notice; the first step on a long journey.
This is my morning affirmations. Thank you
Thank you for this video. Excuses I (and my family) struggle with...age and build being the dominant ones. We can overcome these now, in fact...I can overcome these...
How are you now?
@@Smolharuharu I'm burning up! Super happy and (in my and many eyes) a pretty woman! I'm happy, I'm me... :)
@@melissarainchild ahhh I’m so happy for you!
I use all those excuses in my journey thank you so much for this video
I want to start hormones, but personally I'm scared to fully transition due to society cramming being a male down my throat so long, I don't want the same thing to occur if I'm a woman. Like having boons and a vagina scares me as much as being already male. I love people thinking I'm a woman, and I want to go on hrt, but I'm afraid of losing the neutral ground freedom of non binary. I just don't know how to feel, personally I just wish gender wasn't a thing or that I looked like a girl but gender less.
Ashlyn Grimes maybe just transition to be more feminine, you don’t have to transition to be 100%. The most feminine being ever just to where you feel happy
This comment and profile name tells a happy story,
I'm seeing this comment four years later, and you're absolutely stunning. I'm so glad you were able to transition.
AHH!! Look at you now!
I have a real good place to help me to transition they are very help full on helped me to become the women I feel like I should be inside.thank you for your help.THANK YOU!
I got fired from my job for transitioning... I was a federal worker. My department manager was very hostile towards trans community (she was a lesbian but she somehow hates LGBTQ community.). She made some ridiculous exagerrated excuses to fire me. Before transition she was willing to promote me to gs-11 job....
This is actionable, and there are resources in your agency's HR department and your union you can use to get that b*tch fired and get your job back
If it was relatively recent I'd go after them. No way I'm tolerating that myself
Thank you so much for the information it is very helpful what I'm going through right now you recommend finding one or two women to guide you to go shopping with you I wish I had that resource but I don't any recommendations
My excuse was that I couldn’t face telling family and friends - especially my parents and my (ex)in-laws (my ex knew and was supportive).
I used to say “I’m just glad I know this about myself now! No need to shake up everyone’s lives. Maybe someday, if your parents and my parents all die in a freak accident...”
Eventually, that didn’t cut it. My family has been overwhelmingly supportive, and our friends were as well.
My ex’s parents, however, weren’t; they actually cut him off for awhile, with an email stating they “couldn’t bear to speak to him as long as he’s embracing the gay lifestyle.” We’d been married for years at that point, literally nothing changed about his “lifestyle.”
It’s about 8 years since I began. The ex-in-laws did end up systematically eroding our marriage (or rather, my ex allowed them to). Lost the marriage, kept the dog - and kept myself. 100% glad I made the decisions I did; no regrets!
thank you. It seems that a made a full list of my own excuses to not change.
Very informative and so encouraging! Thank you.
This video was very comforting and reassuring in a way that reminded me of a teacher or a therapist. I don't really worry about my physical appearance if I am to transition, and any worries I did have were alleviated by this video, but this video did bring up some worries. I'm a rather large sized man (currently), and have decently sized muscles and am just over 6'. I don't want to lose the muscles or the height, as they are my only masculine traits I am very proud of.
your videos have all been wonderfully helpful. i hope many others have found your site as resourceful as i have.
Thank ypu sooo much. The 1st 2 excuses were my 2 most solid. I love you!
Tina ooxx
Thsnk you! None of this really applied to me, but i am SO HAPPY that these resources exist! Thank you for everything!!!!
I was and honestly still am willing and wanting to go through with it,but recently i got replied to a comment that made me sad as heck,despite taking the high ground and avouding confrontation,i felt and still feel a little tug at my heart from the sadness,same one i felt when i was told i couldn't go for my desired chest size but i decided to go with slightly lower and still amazing for me,plus there's the matter of still being on ny first step and afraid of outing myself to my family..
This topic is probably one of the most needed to be speak. Thank you very much for bring it to us!
i tell myself this daily for nine year and i finally made the step. u rock thank u made me feel good
oh my God thank you so much everything you just said was the questions that I had I have been transitioning for a year now but but it only go out in public at night time because I was afraid this video has given me so much confidence thank you so much
important video right here. thank you.
Thank you so much for making that video that’s really inspirational and really really helps me. Definitely doing it now!!
Thank you so much for these videos
Oh, yeah....that hit every excuse i've told myself. I'll try my best.
This was pretty interesting because as I'm FTM my "excuses" are just the opposite. I have a rare disease that's made me short (1,50m=4ft 11in) and I'm not muscular at all and probably won't be after my transition, since the disease also harms the muscles and cismen with this disease aren't muscular. I often think no one will take me for a real man, that wherever I go people will look at me because I'm short even for a woman. I know these are excuses, but they make me scared to transition.
I can understand you, my situation it's similar. But this video help me a lot! (Sorry for my bad english, Im from Mexico)
+Thair Martínez Guzmán Your English is much better than my Spanish.
Thair Martinez Guzman, don't worry, your English is just fine,
Thank you. I have used every one of these
I can relate to the ,"my hair is receding/crowning" excuse.
Thank you for all the "sensible" information in your videos.
Thank you very much for your videos. Such a blessing that I found you here.. It has really clarified some confusion that I've had for some time. In the next few weeks I would love to help with a donation for your student loans. ☺
Tbh I'm scared of becoming a woman. I'm afraid of harassment, unwanted attention (I hate attention, I played in a couple of bands and I'd hide behind the frontman while on stage lol), how I'll be treated if I pass, how I'd be treated if I don't, I'm afraid of losing my job if I started presenting there and if keeping the man persona 40 hrs a week will be crushing when I adjust into myself. I've only come out to my best friend and she has been so wonderful. Folks think we're sleeping together but in reality she's doing my makeup, letting me try her clothes, and having girl talk during our sleep overs.
since having spent time living as a woman i definitely experienced harassment unwanted attention like i could literally feel every males eyes scanning over me when I would walk through any public crowded area, much worse if not so crowded and the males are in a small group then basically guaranteed comments not always inappropriate language quite often some rather flattering comments but often just one sexually slanted phrase would leave me feeling like i was on display for them to inspect.
Thank you for being a real human being. 💓💖💓💖
Thank you for this. I have been concerned that I was too old, you've helped me see that I'm not.
I have known since about age 4 or 5. I waited until after I retired, and after my wife and I agreed for me to transition. Over the course of two and one-half years I went from counseling, electrolysis, HRT, breast augmentation and finally, two days after my 76th birthday, had the bottom surgery. I have never been happier. At the end, I will not be lying in hospice regretting bitterly that I never had the courage to do this. And my marriage of over 50 years remains strong, deep, warm and loving. She is right. You are never too old.
Honest people are naturally authentic, no drugs needed.
Here some valid reason to avoid transitioning.
1. Financial issues
2. Complications (You need a doctor to get a proper medications and obviously surgeries)
3. Family, Work, Country laws, or Social. In some country, people might be no accepting at all.
4. There is no doctor in your country that allows you to get legal medication including changing legal gender translation for ID and stuff.
My excuse is that I'm Autistic and thought the disconnect from my body was just another part of that.
I'm autistic also and autism is not different from us. That's what we are. We are the autism. There can't be a separation of the neurodivergency from a "real self" that isn't there, if considered a part that isn't meant on its own
Precis: These negative thoughts are not reasons to prevent transitioning: (1) You cannot say that you will not be passable after transitioning or that you will not be pretty. No one knows. The change may take 7 years to complete; (2) I'm too old. You are never too old; (3) I'm losing my hair. Testosterone blockers may reverse this; (4) You are never too tall. Do not be afraid to wear heels if you are a tall transitioner: (5) You are too muscular. Anti-androgens will reduce this mass; (6) Anti-androgens will lessen body hair. The focus of the trans woman should be inner happiness being a woman. Don't worry about being a model. Just be you.
We missed out how the world perceives you in terms of sexual bigotry, cross-gender toilets, cross gender sports, de-transitioning. But a really supportive video for those beginning on their journey. Thank You.
thank you for posting these videos after watching these videos i gained the courage to come out to my family and friends how ever right now i am in the army reserves and i have a good excuse as to why i am not transitioning at this time and that because of the lack of funds cause the reserves is my only income and i cannot afford it how ever i have come to terms with who i am but unable to look like myself like i need to