Judge Lynn explains how verbal abuse "destabilizes" a person and makes them feel "disposable." Subscribe to channel bit.ly/1fj2ql1 Check local listings at www.divorcecour...
@@Nana-wi4gi A person who grows up with love and support will always have a running start because self-love is engrained in their being while others spend their entire life trying to love themselves despite know one else giving them the love they deserved in the first place.
@@8thhousealchemist600 I don't understand why people who know they have issues create babies, they know their just going to abuse later, Got any answers ?
I forgive my parents, their upbringing was atrocious and they did better than their parents. In saying that tho when they died I didn't really mourn them much at all, I saw it as a release for them and me👍
3 years away from a emotionally abusive ex and sometimes his words still mess with me, verbal abusive is terrible and i don't wish it on anyone i know, except my ex
I really hope that you did learn from that abusive relationship and would never let and allow any person treat you like that ever again. Keep on getting yourself together for the better, and to hell with your emotionally abusive ex, because a person like that are both toxic and dangerous to be near or around.
@@lilpinkbubbles6592 classic sexist manipulative male 😂. Women are actually happier single and living alone than men. Men like him are gonna be the ones miserable when they find no woman wants them because their personality is abhorrent.
@@anitajones8706 IKR? Is that the choice? Get abused and be miserable with your spirit broken out of touch with God or “stay lonely and miserable”? The f#*k? FOH. If those were the only two options (and they aren’t. Abusive men like to scare women into taking the bull ish with “you have no choice” demonic rhetoric... f#*ckin’ busters) then the choice is clear... #beatit
@@lilpinkbubbles6592 Get to a Christian women's shelter that lets you stay while you go to school and get to that place. They are in various places around the country. God bless you.
@@WriterOfMany Gad lighting is basically a form of manipulation where they abuser makes the victim doubt their own feelings Like for example someone could say I don’t know if I can be with you any longer And the abuser says Are you sure you can live without me? Or something like that I think he started clapping to trick her into staying with him because she would think that he thinks he still cared about her Honestly I hope she left that man for dust 🤢😒
@@stevegwizzle3560 Yeah because it's so common for a woman to control a man lol Maybe in your case but let's not take away from the issue at hand by deflecting.
I learned how to handle men like him. I did exactly what judge said. I be like "O, okay..bye then. Dont let me hold you up. You right, I ain't shit...to you that is...I know a whole lotta men that will GLADLY be happy with me...so yeah GOODBYE!"
@@mtbiker4life918 Why I think that you have issues is that you think that a woman that is being put down and verbally abused by her man has to do better in the relationship and find out why her man is an ass. If someone treats you wrong and is bad for your mental health and stability, you shouldnt go around and play Sherlock Holmes to find out why they are acting like an asshole, you should leave while you can. A man isnt a child, if the woman does something wrong in his eyes, the logical and mature next step is to talk openly about it, NOT to abuse her verbally. Communication is key. Not abuse.
@@mtbiker4life918 And I did pick up on it, but oh so unfortunately I have a life outside of the internet that occupies my attention as much if not more as silly matters like comments. I apologize sincerely for letting you wait, good sir.
@@mtbiker4life918 I am not a troll. By the way, I find it interesting that you choose to insult me rather than actually react to my explaination as to why I think you have issues. But I guess that you are the real troll here. Keep insulting others to hide from being confronted with your own flaws and issues, I really dont mind. 😊
I’m happy you got out of that really bad situation, and I hope you’re having a good recovery from it. It’s okay if you’re not, though. Recovery is hard, but there will always be people who are willing to stand with you.
When she said how being talked to like that over time “makes you question your very worth” I broke down. My mom spoke to me that way all throughout my childhood. Dealing with the emotional aftermath is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone..
I understand how you feel. My mom has also emotionally abused me my entire life and it's so hard. Just recently I've been realizing how low my self esteem is because I've been told my whole life that I'm not a good person and that it's ok for other people to be horrible to me because I somehow deserve it. I'm sorry that you are going through this as well. Hoping that it gets better for both of us.
@@AutumnRose1397 you didn't deserve to be treated like that then. And you don't deserve it now. Others saw your inner light and wanted to steal, or destroy it. Out of envy and hatred. They will always be wrong for that. No matter what don't give their negative, delusional words, thoughts and energy any attention. And always protect your energy. You are an original, one of a kind. High value person. ♡
Both my parents did that to me. Therapy was the best thing gift I ever gave myself, I learned better ways to see and respond to that nonsense, what they were really doing, that I never deserved it, and how utterly lacking as human beings they were....none of their abuse was my fault and I learned how to love and respect myself. And rather than being painful (tho it was at times), it was freeing. I highly recommend it. Take care. ❤️
both my parents were and are this way..and yeah,it's fuckin horrible. I don't know who I am because I always had to form myself the way my parents wanted me to be..now at 29 I'm miserable,scared,and have no self identity..
Words are powerful. Hurtful words can break you down. Kindness and love lifts you up. He is emotional abusive. She seems like a nice woman. There is an equally loving man out there for her who will lift her up. You don't beat down your woman. Abusive words goes deeper than a punch to the face. He wants to keep her in a certain place, so he is not threatened by her possible advancement. He knows she is smart and is afraid she'll outgrow him.
ok i enjoyed what said but how about when a man constantly encourages is wife to get more out of life and she takes as as emotional abuse. now i stopped saying anything to her about life goals as i pursue mine. and reply to me now that we are separated is that she felt i hated when all i did was encourage her to go after her dreams
PatsBooks why are men so afraid of their woman advancing? If that woman loves you, when she advances so do you. I just dont understand why men dont see it that way...
@@norM_ystical I'm aware, I'm a grown ass adult. it's not misandrist to say what she said you're literally just insecure, nobody said it's ONLY men but yall want to fit the equation so bad
@@pathetic2399 Why are you commenting the same thing over and over? There are women like the man in the video. When did anyone of the comments say that such behaviour is limited to men??
What more pitiful is that these people (no matter the gender) normalised such tendency because they imprinted it from somewhere, be it close relatives or own family. In a sense, they had been the victims for so long that they thought that that's the custom way of life, instead of trying to heal themselves for the better. No one told them that it was wrong, nor anyone stepped in to help them & to go through it and said it was okay to feel sad by that situation. They probably had been gaslighted that they were not strong enough to stand up for themselves. His eyes, it's almost a giveaway.
That's straight from The Gutter-Dude handbook, page 18. But the judge misinterpreted it.. he won't stop.. he'll move on to another low self-esteem chic in need to rule over to make himself feel superior.
Amen. And it's so cringe to watch one when you're on the outside, just like this clip. Any sane person would be like I'm not putting up with this uglee ass dude.
Having had been a victim of mental abuse from my father and the relationship, I can say it is the worst of the people that you will deal with in this life.
@@naritruwireve1381 can you give me some examples about what they do because I’m really curious. Like if you feel comfortable about your experiences I’d love to hear
@@camilomarcano1805 Yeah I can give you some examples. They're not the craziest situations though so don't expect too much lol. One time, my aunt got directions mixed up when looking at a map and my brother says out loud in public, "I never knew looking at a map was that hard," then walks off on his own. He acts like he has never made a mistake all the time and laughs when others make a mistake. I'll try to write gaslighting examples in few words so it's not an essay. Mom tells me to watch out for hot steam like I'm blind and I reply "I know" in an annoyed tone then she claims I yelled at her even though I've never yelled in my life. Brother insists I threw something out when I thought I would remember if I threw something away. Brother tells me to quit judging him and being rude even though I didn't say a word and was just eating breakfast. It sounds like nothing much and easy to think "Pft of course this and that didn't happen. Also that isn't gaslighting. Maybe it's just their off day," but it's easy for manipulation to fly by because it's not obvious like punching someone is. Everyone knows what a punch is. Not everyone knows what manipulation looks like. I also really was questioning my memory and if I was as bad of a person they kept insisting I was. Plus they do this all the time, and small events that happen frequently will surely drive you mad even if one event on its own doesn't sound like anything. From the manipulator, the constant, "I'm the victim, you're the villain, I was only doing what was best for you, I never did anything wrong, it happened _this_ way, you're the one lying, you're playing down what happened," and from my mind, "Did I really yell, were they only trying to help, am I being awful to these people, did I remember things wrong, they insist it happened this way so it must have" which eventually leads to "I did yell at my mom, didn't I. I really did judge and was rude to my brother."
I love Judge Lynn so much. The way she speaks, gets her point across in every case, and her overarching intelligence is beautiful. She is so supportive to women who are in toxic relationships. Oh & not to mention she's absolutely stunning & has like the clearest skin😂
Here she’s supporting the toxicity herself by assuming that leaving and standing up for herself is even an option- maybe he threatened the kids, maybe she’s financially dependent on him, maybe he’ll get physically violent- there are reasons why people can’t always just tell their abusers to step and why standing up for yourself against verbal abuse to the abusers face doesn’t always help you That woman needs to have her situation considered and be supported to get away from him abd stay away, and be given the resources to do so, but the judge isn’t even considering why she isn’t leaving
Agreed. Altho I'd say she's supportive of all people in toxic relationships. I saw a clip of her standing up for a guy when it was his girl that was the problem.
@@candylide make him feel worthless, trash among other human beings, see a pattern here?. True, someone dragging you down to hell out of your own greed is unacceptable. Wich is why you don't do that to him either, if y'all know what's the consequences of it, you won't do the same to him, he's a piece of shit, don't let yourself be dragged down by his same motivation to dragged down his wife.
@@a.bagasm.7253 It's true But we are not the professionals that could help him We are just ordinary people that saw an abusive man and that boils our blood So yeah We are not much better But he kind of deserves it
Yup. I grew up in an emotionally abusive household. Now I'm anxious and depressed and constantly doubting myself. It fucking sucks. I hope you find healing in time.
@@gabbym333 I feel the same way. I've been lonely and depressed for years ever since I was young and it lead to me having all these bad thoughts constantly
Some men do know his woman have no problem telling him to step but he still continue with the bs when that happens u shut all the doors and forget he exist and live ur life without him.
Gaslighting is used to distort the victim's line of thoughts, it's different than verbal abuse. Some use it hand in hand, most not necessarily. I was verbally abused at school and gaslighted at home. They look different and we perceive them differently. I hated those bullies for verbally abusing me, their words are threatening and hateful. Yet, it was extremely difficult for me to acknowledge that I was gaslighted by my own family. Those who gaslight also tends to guilt trip in order to get what they want. Those who verbally abuse, their objective was solely to crush you emotionally. Both do crush the self-esteem and confidence, objective wise they are similar but execution wise they are different.
She's a bit wrong. You can tell your abuser to get out but they won't. Be careful because abusive people can reach a flashpoint and you can find yourself in danger. I get it that boundaries are so important though.
Only the weak, incapable and selfish tear down others well being to help themselves. Only the strong stand up for themselves against those who trick others into not seeing their own true worth.
verbal abuse is trauma. emotional abuse is trauma. physical abuse is trauma. sexual abuse is trauma. all abuse is traumatic and do not let ANYONE tell you your trauma isnt valid
All people should hold themselves and others to realistic and healthy standard understanding the subtleties that can cause limitations that when adapted to benefit everyone involved These standards have little to nothing to do with race, sexuality, gender identity, religion etc rather they are based around the concept of the individual showing willingness to grow, openness to questioning, self-awareness/reflection in reference to beliefs, emotions, behaviors, and thought patterns, etc. Standards like these by nature mold to the individual they are applied to and the capabilities/disabilities that individual is bound to
@@favouritecat unfair or not we live in a society that constantly and consistently put responsibilities on the individual that are literally the reason the society exists due to that along with the "responsibility" of keeping the society afloat/being a value to it puts people in a situation where they just don't have the time/energy/resources/education to actually fulfill the responsibilities they have to themselves like their healing, and growth it's genuinely sad that so many of those people blame people for not being ok because they feel shameful and guilty about not being ok themselves and so the cycle (until broken by the acceptance that those responsibilities to self exist and are worth prioritizing) continues
What I find to be fascinating is how they all say the same phrases. My abusive ex said that too. He used to lecture me about how smart women know how to keep their men happy. Some other common themes... - “You’re not smart enough to have an opinion” or “You’re not smart enough to read” or “You’re illogical” - “People are only nice to you to humor you” - “All of my friends can’t understand why I’m with you” - “My friends say you’re wrong and I defended you” - “You have no right to feel that way” Or - “Your feelings are wrong” - “Other people see you like x, they’re just too polite to say it” - “You have problems” or “You’re so damaged” or “What’s wrong with you?” - “You have a terrible memory” or “You remember the way things happened the wrong way” or “you edit your own memories to manipulate me” - “You’re crazy” Look for the person who is trying to: (1) Turn you against the world (2) Turn you against yourself (3) Gaslight you when you try to fix the problems (4) Tell you that you don’t have the right to think, feel, or voice your opinions (5) Tell you that they are the only person who will ever put up with you. Especially for the women out there - watch out for these people. When they first date you they will do everything in their power to be exactly the person you’re looking for, and they will ask plenty of questions and make plenty of observations to see what makes you tick. Then they will prey upon your sense of innocent empowerment. They’ll use your own morality and values against you - attack them to break you down - and eventually reduce you to something low enough that you will start to believe what they’re saying about you is true. That they’re the only ones who will ever love you. It’s okay to take a step back and objectively look at your situation. It’s a okay to throw away your loyalty when someone repeatedly mistreats your. It’s okay to be done with a person, even if you thought you would never give up on them. It doesn’t make you a bad person. I’ve seen so many women who will stand by their male partner even if it’s going to be the death of them because they don’t want to compromise their morals, and values, and beliefs on what you should be like when you truly “love” a person. How you should “never give up”. This is the most dangerous lie society has brainwashed its women with. Give. The F. Up. Your morals and values and sense of right and wrong is great - but also a weakness if you refuse to prioritize respect. If your partner is not respecting you, eventually you will come to disrespect yourself. Think of it this way, if you’re a heterosexual female in this situation. Do you realize how many perfectly nice guys are out there - who never really get the chance to have love because they refuse to play the manipulation game? Those men deserve your love and affection. We all need to take a stand against this behavior and stop staying in relationships because of the social and moral pressure to do so. Anyways...I hope this helps someone.
My mum always tell me how she is the best mother in the world and gives me everything. I’m starting to think differently. She might pay for a lot of things for me but she never asks me, she never talks to me. She’s constantly telling me off and shouting at me and it makes me feel like shit, and the other day she slapped me while yelling at me and I have a small bruise there. I’m never sure whether I’m right or she’s wrong or I’m just being a brat and she’s the one who’s right. I just don’t know anymore.
i’m sorry she did that. if you’re in any danger there’s an anonymous hotline called childhelp where you can talk about/get help if you’re abused. if you call it be sure to call it on something that isn’t your iphone/android/whatever, though, cause it will show up on your phone bill.
Have you seen Rapunzel? Your mom sounds a lot like Mother Gothel. Gaslighting, lying, manipulative. Always claiming she's right. Doing the bare minimum to keep the child alive, but keeping her trapped and acting like it's too much work to help her with/encourage her hobby (watch how Rapunzel covers her art when MG gets home, then is hesitant about asking for more paints, and MG is like "get your new paints? That's too much work!"). There's a channel called "Cartoon Therapy" that breaks it all down neatly. Much love to you.
@@aquii5007 yeah but remember by parents logic it's not abuse to slap you in the mouth and say you ain't shit and your just a ungrateful asshole remember? Sorry but that sucks the most how parents especially parents in the states act like kids don't deserve respect
Ooohhh yessss...Story of my life!!! Get to a point where you are cool whether they stay or leave and you are truly in charge of your life. Thank you Jesus!
People can change but they have to be willing. We all have free will and will power because we all came from the same source energy, that is the creator. Traditional psychologist/ therapist can't help but there are exceptional healers/ teachers out there on awareness/ mindfulness. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. When the student is truly ready, the teacher disappears
She needs to move on. Whst does he do for her except tear her down. Who needs that? She needs to value herself and not tolerate his very mean, abusive behavior. She deserves so much better. She's not his maid. She's supposed to be his wife! She needs to kick him to the curb. I wish her well.
I'm going through this very thing with my childs dad he says the same shit to me. Tells me nobody else would want me.. My family don't love me. Nobody but him has my best interest. I'm not about nothing because i couldn't find a job. So many women want him so i can get out. All kinds of evil shit including body shaming 🙅
Melissa Whitaker you should get away from him. If he's doing all that now, it can turn into physical abuse and can try to hurt you. I know it's easier said then done but you can do it. I was scared to leave because I felt mentally stuck and was afraid of what might happen. But I prayed on it and did it and I can tell you it's the most liberating feeling. You deserve someone who is going to love and respect you, not belittle you.
He looks like he's awake and sleep at the same time. He even clapped just because everyone else did even though he was the one who was being ripped into
The people who disliked this video aren't afraid to admit that they are abusers and will would not mind even a bit to get a taste of their own medicine.
When you can tell a man, “I don’t need your money. I make more than you, got a better house than you, the only reason you’re here is because I want you here,” they straighten right on up. Go to school, gf, go to school!
Some times talking back does not mean “he stops that nonsense” Some time the only way to make it stop is to stop the abuser from being a part of your life
@@zyoh4311 Of course it’s easier said than done, but that’s the only solution. They’ll never change. You need to look out for yourself in these situations.
@@cocob0l0 @Anna K i know but what about people who don't know where to go or have parents like this? You cant just shit on them for not being able to find an opportunity to get out when every attempts may be worse? You cant insinuate that they should off themselves who do you think you are? Imo you both are nasty perverted people ganging up on me and hating on others who cant get out. I wish for this moment to only be the moment you two existed in my life. I don't like being negative so I hope you both manage to find true beauty within yourselves instead of attacking others.
@@zyoh4311 What the hell are you talking about?!?! I didn’t say anything. Nasty and perverted? Wtf is wrong with you?! When did I attack you?! Are you blind?! I’ve been a victim of an abusive relationship. The only way for abuse to end is if you cut it out. It’s easier said than done because I know it is and I’ve been there
sometimes it is hard to leave though. verbal abusers can go from just manipulative to dangerous in a second. they might threaten you, hurt you, etc. just leaving isn’t always easy.
@@coffee7644 i think when he insults you, you need to tell him that it isn't cool. Once a warning is given and he doesn't change, just leave without a word.
@@coffee7644 it depends on how you know him btw. If he's always mean then the joke is meant to be insulting. Also, one who loves you won't do anything to hurt you and that includes body shaming. Have him know that you don't find the joke funny amd see if he does it again.
She is so intelligent! Love the way she breaks things down to ppl so they can open their eyes! Yup, never let anyone get in the way of what you want in life! If you have kids and you support them to do better and have more in life.... a partner who loves you will want the same for you!!!!
in high school i was in an 8 year relationship, prom and everything. she was very abusive to me towards the end and maybe couple of years into it.it changed me and i can never go back to feeling how i was no matter how hard i try. if someone is abusing you better to leave early on, dont let it go on.
Judge's advice while well intentioned doesn't take specific circumstances into account USE JUDGEMENT if you fear or know that a partner may harm you if you threaten to leave you may need to be a bit sneaky That's one example there's as many possibilities as there are possible couples Seek help. You're worth it.
Thank you to this judge is sticking up for women who have been not only verbally abuse but physically and mentally abuse. It takes your soul it breaks your soul it takes your hope. Been 8 years and still messed up... (he almost killed me 3 times)... glad to be alive
My parents talks to me like that all the time and its like continuous burns and feels its melting from inside. Every fight with them takes me an inch closer to suicidal thoughts. Few years more or less looks like I will be living.
Hey. Stay away from those freaks as much as possible, okay? Don’t fight them. Don’t talk back to them. Just keep your head down and shut up - do what they’re telling you and avoid conflict as much as possible. Reach out to your school. There should be a counsellor there that can help you. When you have a private meeting with your doctor, tell them your parents emotionally abuse you and it’s causing you severe depression. Doctors know not to rat you out. Most importantly do NOT try to talk things out with your parents. They’re just going to try to manipulate you. Don’t trust them. They’re monsters. You’re going to be okay...you just need to wait long enough until you’re able to escape. I don’t know how old you are but I’m assuming you’re underaged and you can’t get away. Listen. You’re not alone. Read these comments. So many people are sitting in a dark corner crying right now because their parents are total aholes. Think of all of the people that are crying with you. Thousands of people hurting the way you’re hurting. Feel bad for all of them, and for yourself, because this SUCKS. But don’t let your parents be the cause of you throwing in the towel. Not yet. You can take your life later if you want to - it’s going to be there to take when you want to - but why would you do that before you get the chance to really live? One of these days you’re going to have the power to throw it in their face and that’s going to feel sooo good. One day they’re going to see just how wrong they were, and they’re going to ask for forgiveness and you’ll get the satisfaction of saying “No. F you.” You just have to hang out for a while in this hell hole, nightmare of a life, waiting for that day to come. It seems like it’s impossibly far away...but try talking to people here in the TH-cam comments who have been through what you’ve been through. They’ll tell you how amazing you’re going to become - and guess what? You will. Why? Because struggling this way early in your life makes you a juggernaught for later life trauma. After this crap - nothing is going to hurt you this way again. Trust me. I know, because I had a crap childhood, and I’ve had abuse on a number of occasions. At first it breaks you down, but you will build yourself back up again because you’re still breathing. It just happens. And when you do - you’ll become heckin incredible.
I love your cute profile pic by the way. Don’t leave us yet. You haven’t even really introduced yourself to the world as the person you’re going to be one day. We want to meet you, and see all of the cool things about you that make you awesome and different and super amazing. I know it’s hard, but just try to coast through this. Remember the tiny happy things in life. Kittens. Ice cream sandwiches. Look up the song “Don’t be Sad” on TH-cam. It’s a personal favorite. I listen to it when I feel really depressed. Being a kid (as I’m assuming you are) sucked for me so bad. I think it was even worse than the abusive relationship I was in as an adult. I have SO much compassion for what you’re going through. Man. It’s so hard. Adults never really seem to get how tough it is. I don’t know how I made it through. But pretty quickly, I did. Then I was free - and then life got a thousand times better. If you’re going to take your own life - nobody can stop you. But do yourself a favor. Find out what the rest of your life is going to look like after you escape your parent’s tyranny. You need to know what your giving up. This thing you’re going through right now isn’t real life. It’s like a nightmare. You’re going to wake up sooner than you think. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Take care of yourself, okay? I really want you to grow up and become a healthy person who is the master of their own life. I’m convinced you have it in you. You’re so much stronger than you realize. For starters - you’re still alive. That, my friend, makes you a survivor. Survivors are strong - and they’re the heros of our world. So many of us went through painful childhoods. So many people are going through them now. One day you’re going to meet them and you’re all going to understand each other in a way that is way deeper and more meaningful than the norm. Hang around for those people. So you can be there to empathize with them when they need a shoulder to cry on. The world needs you. Here’s my suggestion for you. Let yourself fantasize. Turn off the lights, close your eyes, and in your head - go somewhere. Anywhere you want to. You can be a character in a book or you can fall in love with someone you have a crush on. Your mind is the place where you can go anywhere and be anyone. I’m an adult - and I do this. It helps me cope with the stress of life. Fantasizing isn’t childish - it’s a powerful human ability. The more you practice it, the better you will get. Good luck friend. Stay strong 💕
Theres a lot more to the message of this video. Im surprised nobody else commented on it. 1.)What the guy said was horrible. WE can all agree on that. Its one of the biggest longest lasting stereotypes that women box men into as this down talking potato head has stated it. He got what he deserved in this segment. 2.) The part towards the end that nobody said- about how the judge advises women to essentially say anytime and everytime that their husband can "step" up and get out if he doesnt like her pursuing something, is in of itself verbal abuse! You cannot have that attitude in a marriage! That is not what married couples sign up for at the altar! When you sign up for a marriage you are signing up to bond yourself to that other person. That other person becomes part of you. You CANNOT do things that even potentially break away the bond with your other half- even if they benefit you financially- simply for the reason you need to pursue things that bring you closer together. I havent heard one logical explanation from all these feminist apologetics and man haters how a woman working more hours away from her man makes the couple closer together- that is apart from a very temporary hour increase that is later discarded to spend more time together later. FOLKS! Be very careful and think about the words that come out of the mouths of people in high leadership! If it is not good for the family than it is not good! however, there are many times good nuggest in things like this video that are good as well.
I’m a victim of abuse and for a while I’ve put off watching this video just because I didn’t want to re-live things. However hearing the judge talk about it, it really helps..
@@Jarl3169 It’s a way of manipulation. So the guy was like “yeah I say these things to her” and stands by that. But when the judge calls him out for that shitty behaviour, he applauds along with the rest of the court as if he’s agreeing with her, in an attempt to confuse his wife. Gaslighting leaves the victims confused as to what is right or wrong and they aren’t able to trust their own judgement because of it.
A quick reminder: Its not ONLY men! If youre a dude, a women with a women, a dude with a dude, or whatever, many women can be manipulative narcicissts too! You can, and should, get help somehow if someone abuses you, even if its a women. Never think that you arent allowed to because youre a man! Everyone can be an asshole. Same goes for friends and parents too. My now boyfriend was with a girl who broke him down to the point, he wasnt allowed to do anything with friends or even text anyone. He felt like no one ever would love him except her. Im so glad he's with me now.
Things is, many "good looking" people are lazy and want to live off of their good looks and charm, so they have no skills and thus no value other than physical attraction, which only goes but so far and doesn't last forever. Why would she stay and deal with emotional abuse? The average "good looking" woman would not. They would be on to the next guy because they have guys hitting on them EVERYDAY. I doubt that was the case with this woman and she probably had little to no marketable skills, in which case the only value she has to offer a man is physical attraction and submission and if she doesn't want to be submissive, what else is there to offer, other than more responsibility and thus more stress for a man?
Wish someone would talk about emotional abuse that parents give their children
@Jasmyne Haywood good for you
The black community doesn't talk about that because it's almost engrained in our parenting and no one recognizes it as emotional abuse.
Yes, it's called C-PTSD. Look it up. It's when you grow up un an environment with consecutive years of abuse growing up.
@@Nana-wi4gi A person who grows up with love and support will always have a running start because self-love is engrained in their being while others spend their entire life trying to love themselves despite know one else giving them the love they deserved in the first place.
@@8thhousealchemist600 I don't understand why people who know they have issues create babies, they know their just going to abuse later, Got any answers ?
Sad part is some parents do this to their children all the time. Then the parents wonder why the child is so messed up as an adult.
Or why the kids move far away and break all contact.
Yup
yeah thanks DAD!!
I forgive my parents, their upbringing was atrocious and they did better than their parents. In saying that tho when they died I didn't really mourn them much at all, I saw it as a release for them and me👍
Yeap
Still trying to figure out what the heck the dude's clapping for!
Right?! He felt ashamed and tried to flip the tables
His clapping is gaslighting in itself how ironic!
Because he got called out and he's embarrassed.
Clowning
@@Queen_beulahOfficial haha
Why does he look like he’s sleeping awake?
This comment needs more likes Lmfao
Because he’s dead on the inside.
He's not awakened/ enlightened
HAHAHAHHA i busted out laughing at this lmao
His eyes look evil to me. I pray she is alright.
"It doesn't seem like it would do that, but it does"
4 years free from an emotionally abusive relationship so i felt that
Congratulations bro. Proud of you!
Yeah 2years free from emotional and verbal abuse. I know how u feel.
♥️
I am so sorry for your pain and what you had to go through. 💕❤️💕❤️❤️💕
@@jennajoseph893 The only way out of anything is through it anyway and I'm in a much better place mentally
3 years away from a emotionally abusive ex and sometimes his words still mess with me, verbal abusive is terrible and i don't wish it on anyone i know, except my ex
Yep
You deserve all love and respect mom 😍 am also have this issue and it come to me like flash back 😔
It’s the worst (aside from sexual abuse)
I really hope that you did learn from that abusive relationship and would never let and allow any person treat you like that ever again. Keep on getting yourself together for the better, and to hell with your emotionally abusive ex, because a person like that are both toxic and dangerous to be near or around.
And why you yall keep going with these mfers.. oh yea I forgot hes not boring
He's full of drama
“Always be in a position where you can tell a dude to step.”
Stay lonely and miserable
@@LexRuger718 But I am not.
@@lilpinkbubbles6592 classic sexist manipulative male 😂. Women are actually happier single and living alone than men. Men like him are gonna be the ones miserable when they find no woman wants them because their personality is abhorrent.
@@anitajones8706 IKR? Is that the choice? Get abused and be miserable with your spirit broken out of touch with God or “stay lonely and miserable”? The f#*k? FOH. If those were the only two options (and they aren’t. Abusive men like to scare women into taking the bull ish with “you have no choice” demonic rhetoric... f#*ckin’ busters) then the choice is clear... #beatit
@@lilpinkbubbles6592 Get to a Christian women's shelter that lets you stay while you go to school and get to that place. They are in various places around the country. God bless you.
His clapping is gaslighting in itself how ironic!
Good that you caught that!
Can you explain how it's gaslighting? I'm new to the term and don't understand it fully.
@@WriterOfMany
Gad lighting is basically a form of manipulation where they abuser makes the victim doubt their own feelings
Like for example someone could say
I don’t know if I can be with you any longer
And the abuser says
Are you sure you can live without me?
Or something like that
I think he started clapping to trick her into staying with him because she would think that he thinks he still cared about her
Honestly I hope she left that man for dust 🤢😒
Right!!! I was low key triggered!
I picked that too...classic
Its about control with men like him.
You call that a man? Lady, that's a dictator.
@@stevegwizzle3560 Yeah because it's so common for a woman to control a man lol Maybe in your case but let's not take away from the issue at hand by deflecting.
@@stevegwizzle3560 this is a ridiculous statement at this time..are you completely tone deaf or just an abusive asshole apologist?
@@stevegwizzle3560 I don't know what women you are speaking of but most of us do these things for ourselves.
@@stevegwizzle3560 we are talking about this man and her. Dont change the subject.
These are the EXACT types of men going around telling women that they are going to die alone 🥴✌🏾
Yes because they think that having a man ANY may is the ultimate prize.
Better to wake up alone in a cold bed than lay down to sleep with a devil.
Not the same men
Maybe the ones in your world.
@Johnaldo 12 "Who hurt you." 😂😂
I learned how to handle men like him. I did exactly what judge said. I be like "O, okay..bye then. Dont let me hold you up. You right, I ain't shit...to you that is...I know a whole lotta men that will GLADLY be happy with me...so yeah GOODBYE!"
It smashes the whole control game
@@mtbiker4life918 You have issues.
@@mtbiker4life918 Why I think that you have issues is that you think that a woman that is being put down and verbally abused by her man has to do better in the relationship and find out why her man is an ass.
If someone treats you wrong and is bad for your mental health and stability, you shouldnt go around and play Sherlock Holmes to find out why they are acting like an asshole, you should leave while you can.
A man isnt a child, if the woman does something wrong in his eyes, the logical and mature next step is to talk openly about it, NOT to abuse her verbally.
Communication is key.
Not abuse.
@@mtbiker4life918 And I did pick up on it, but oh so unfortunately I have a life outside of the internet that occupies my attention as much if not more as silly matters like comments.
I apologize sincerely for letting you wait, good sir.
@@mtbiker4life918 I am not a troll.
By the way, I find it interesting that you choose to insult me rather than actually react to my explaination as to why I think you have issues.
But I guess that you are the real troll here.
Keep insulting others to hide from being confronted with your own flaws and issues, I really dont mind. 😊
My ex wife used to tear me down to the point I thought about taking my life. I’m glad God delivered me from her.
glad you got away! 💖👏
I’m happy you got out of that really bad situation, and I hope you’re having a good recovery from it. It’s okay if you’re not, though. Recovery is hard, but there will always be people who are willing to stand with you.
@@meimumei5856 Thanks sis I appreciate this a lot
@@GabrielleTollerson Thank you so much
Sorry you went through that! Let the Lord continue to heal you!!
When she said how being talked to like that over time “makes you question your very worth” I broke down. My mom spoke to me that way all throughout my childhood. Dealing with the emotional aftermath is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone..
I understand how you feel. My mom has also emotionally abused me my entire life and it's so hard. Just recently I've been realizing how low my self esteem is because I've been told my whole life that I'm not a good person and that it's ok for other people to be horrible to me because I somehow deserve it.
I'm sorry that you are going through this as well. Hoping that it gets better for both of us.
@@AutumnRose1397 you didn't deserve to be treated like that then. And you don't deserve it now. Others saw your inner light and wanted to steal, or destroy it. Out of envy and hatred. They will always be wrong for that. No matter what don't give their negative, delusional words, thoughts and energy any attention. And always protect your energy. You are an original, one of a kind. High value person. ♡
Both my parents did that to me. Therapy was the best thing gift I ever gave myself, I learned better ways to see and respond to that nonsense, what they were really doing, that I never deserved it, and how utterly lacking as human beings they were....none of their abuse was my fault and I learned how to love and respect myself. And rather than being painful (tho it was at times), it was freeing. I highly recommend it. Take care. ❤️
both my parents were and are this way..and yeah,it's fuckin horrible. I don't know who I am because I always had to form myself the way my parents wanted me to be..now at 29 I'm miserable,scared,and have no self identity..
@@libbylandscape3560 I'm glad therapy helped you 💖,all the therapists in my area is like talking to a damn wall..so I quit going.
Words are powerful. Hurtful words can break you down. Kindness and love lifts you up. He is emotional abusive. She seems like a nice woman. There is an equally loving man out there for her who will lift her up. You don't beat down your woman. Abusive words goes deeper than a punch to the face. He wants to keep her in a certain place, so he is not threatened by her possible advancement. He knows she is smart and is afraid she'll outgrow him.
Exactly perfectly written. 😁
yup! couldn't have said it better
Exactly!!! Been there done that... Smh!!! Success is the best revenge... And it's best served cold... Order up!!! 🍴🍴 Lol!!!
ok i enjoyed what said but how about when a man constantly encourages is wife to get more out of life and she takes as as emotional abuse. now i stopped saying anything to her about life goals as i pursue mine. and reply to me now that we are separated is that she felt i hated when all i did was encourage her to go after her dreams
PatsBooks why are men so afraid of their woman advancing? If that woman loves you, when she advances so do you. I just dont understand why men dont see it that way...
Then he gonna have the nerve the clap..ughhh men like him are deep down soooo insecure.
*people
But yeah, really was annoying seeing that. Thinking it makes it any better for him...
@@norM_ystical Nah, she said men. And she was right.
@@iHopeurkool Nah, that's mysandrist. Everyone's different, anyone can be a victim or abuser :)
@@iHopeurkool quit being a white night
@@norM_ystical I'm aware, I'm a grown ass adult. it's not misandrist to say what she said you're literally just insecure, nobody said it's ONLY men but yall want to fit the equation so bad
There are men that don't think verbal abuse is abuse...
As there are women.
Agreed!
@@pathetic2399 Why are you commenting the same thing over and over? There are women like the man in the video. When did anyone of the comments say that such behaviour is limited to men??
@@pathetic2399
True, anybody can go through that.
It sucks tbh.
What more pitiful is that these people (no matter the gender) normalised such tendency because they imprinted it from somewhere, be it close relatives or own family.
In a sense, they had been the victims for so long that they thought that that's the custom way of life, instead of trying to heal themselves for the better.
No one told them that it was wrong, nor anyone stepped in to help them & to go through it and said it was okay to feel sad by that situation. They probably had been gaslighted that they were not strong enough to stand up for themselves.
His eyes, it's almost a giveaway.
That's straight from The Gutter-Dude handbook, page 18. But the judge misinterpreted it.. he won't stop.. he'll move on to another low self-esteem chic in need to rule over to make himself feel superior.
Exactly
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
J. Jnz you are right 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
All facts
Either he will stop or he will fall away and we know what usually happens
No man is worth enduring verbal or any other form of abuse. Leave him!
No woman either. No relative. No friend. Etc etc. if someone is being abusive, get outta there. It doesn’t matter what they are to you.
@@pathetic2399 Truth.
Manipulative narcissistic’s are seriously the worst humans to be around.
Amen. And it's so cringe to watch one when you're on the outside, just like this clip. Any sane person would be like I'm not putting up with this uglee ass dude.
Having had been a victim of mental abuse from my father and the relationship, I can say it is the worst of the people that you will deal with in this life.
as someone who lives with 2, 1000% agreed. I'd rather be in complete isolation than be with them
@@naritruwireve1381 can you give me some examples about what they do because I’m really curious. Like if you feel comfortable about your experiences I’d love to hear
@@camilomarcano1805 Yeah I can give you some examples. They're not the craziest situations though so don't expect too much lol.
One time, my aunt got directions mixed up when looking at a map and my brother says out loud in public, "I never knew looking at a map was that hard," then walks off on his own. He acts like he has never made a mistake all the time and laughs when others make a mistake.
I'll try to write gaslighting examples in few words so it's not an essay. Mom tells me to watch out for hot steam like I'm blind and I reply "I know" in an annoyed tone then she claims I yelled at her even though I've never yelled in my life. Brother insists I threw something out when I thought I would remember if I threw something away. Brother tells me to quit judging him and being rude even though I didn't say a word and was just eating breakfast.
It sounds like nothing much and easy to think "Pft of course this and that didn't happen. Also that isn't gaslighting. Maybe it's just their off day," but it's easy for manipulation to fly by because it's not obvious like punching someone is. Everyone knows what a punch is. Not everyone knows what manipulation looks like.
I also really was questioning my memory and if I was as bad of a person they kept insisting I was. Plus they do this all the time, and small events that happen frequently will surely drive you mad even if one event on its own doesn't sound like anything. From the manipulator, the constant, "I'm the victim, you're the villain, I was only doing what was best for you, I never did anything wrong, it happened _this_ way, you're the one lying, you're playing down what happened," and from my mind, "Did I really yell, were they only trying to help, am I being awful to these people, did I remember things wrong, they insist it happened this way so it must have" which eventually leads to "I did yell at my mom, didn't I. I really did judge and was rude to my brother."
I love Judge Lynn so much. The way she speaks, gets her point across in every case, and her overarching intelligence is beautiful. She is so supportive to women who are in toxic relationships. Oh & not to mention she's absolutely stunning & has like the clearest skin😂
lol, she does have nice skin!
A beautiful woman, inside & out!
Here she’s supporting the toxicity herself by assuming that leaving and standing up for herself is even an option- maybe he threatened the kids, maybe she’s financially dependent on him, maybe he’ll get physically violent- there are reasons why people can’t always just tell their abusers to step and why standing up for yourself against verbal abuse to the abusers face doesn’t always help you
That woman needs to have her situation considered and be supported to get away from him abd stay away, and be given the resources to do so, but the judge isn’t even considering why she isn’t leaving
@@alisonpurgatory85 Good point!
Agreed. Altho I'd say she's supportive of all people in toxic relationships. I saw a clip of her standing up for a guy when it was his girl that was the problem.
He say that to her because he feels like that about himself. Someone who ain’t worth 💩, will try to make you feel like 💩.💯
So true. Tear somebody down because they don't think they can be with someone of value.
Y'all really are ain't no much better than him
@@a.bagasm.7253 Why tho?
@@candylide make him feel worthless, trash among other human beings, see a pattern here?. True, someone dragging you down to hell out of your own greed is unacceptable. Wich is why you don't do that to him either, if y'all know what's the consequences of it, you won't do the same to him, he's a piece of shit, don't let yourself be dragged down by his same motivation to dragged down his wife.
@@a.bagasm.7253 It's true
But we are not the professionals that could help him
We are just ordinary people that saw an abusive man and that boils our blood
So yeah
We are not much better
But he kind of deserves it
Stuff like this can lead to depression, low self esteem, and even suicidal thoughts. Speaking from experience
Yup. I grew up in an emotionally abusive household. Now I'm anxious and depressed and constantly doubting myself. It fucking sucks.
I hope you find healing in time.
@@gabbym333 I feel the same way. I've been lonely and depressed for years ever since I was young and it lead to me having all these bad thoughts constantly
I can second this
Never be a steppingstone to nobody.
Thanks I promise I won’t be
@@tali2225 good.
Unless you’re Nagito Komaeda. (Well,you can’t really help it then,can you...)
@@thelingeringartist i was literally thinking about that lol
The judge is right the more knowledge/degrees you have the more leverage it gives you
Knowing your rights fully is good too
the more family support around you is the best
Some men do know his woman have no problem telling him to step but he still continue with the bs when that happens u shut all the doors and forget he exist and live ur life without him.
Gaslighting is another word for verbal abuse. Don't accept that either.
it's really not.
It's another form of mental abuse. But yeah, him clapping was gaslighting.
@@LilPoopsie him clapping doesn't undermine her sense of reality or perception of it. It's patronizing but not gaslighting.
It’s not another word. It’s its own word with its own definition. But it is a form of abuse. Don’t spread misinformation.
Gaslighting is used to distort the victim's line of thoughts, it's different than verbal abuse. Some use it hand in hand, most not necessarily.
I was verbally abused at school and gaslighted at home. They look different and we perceive them differently.
I hated those bullies for verbally abusing me, their words are threatening and hateful. Yet, it was extremely difficult for me to acknowledge that I was gaslighted by my own family.
Those who gaslight also tends to guilt trip in order to get what they want. Those who verbally abuse, their objective was solely to crush you emotionally.
Both do crush the self-esteem and confidence, objective wise they are similar but execution wise they are different.
That lady looks like she really needed another strong woman to encourage her. I'm glad she got that pep talk
She's a bit wrong. You can tell your abuser to get out but they won't. Be careful because abusive people can reach a flashpoint and you can find yourself in danger. I get it that boundaries are so important though.
I hope you well as you go through life
God it’s so refreshing to see a judge who understands the impacts of verbal abuse.
Only the weak, incapable and selfish tear down others well being to help themselves.
Only the strong stand up for themselves against those who trick others into not seeing their own true worth.
verbal abuse is trauma. emotional abuse is trauma. physical abuse is trauma. sexual abuse is trauma. all abuse is traumatic and do not let ANYONE tell you your trauma isnt valid
you can see the narcissism in his expression, speech and movements.
Have standards. Some ladies, even with education, have little to no standards, they just want someone - anyone.
Men can't have standards? Right ?
Exactly. Seen it too much.
@@LexRuger718 No, men should have standards too. If I’m interested in a man and find out he has low standards, it’s an automatic turn off.
All people should hold themselves and others to realistic and healthy standard understanding the subtleties that can cause limitations that when adapted to benefit everyone involved
These standards have little to nothing to do with race, sexuality, gender identity, religion etc rather they are based around the concept of the individual showing willingness to grow, openness to questioning, self-awareness/reflection in reference to beliefs, emotions, behaviors, and thought patterns, etc.
Standards like these by nature mold to the individual they are applied to and the capabilities/disabilities that individual is bound to
@@favouritecat unfair or not we live in a society that constantly and consistently put responsibilities on the individual that are literally the reason the society exists due to that along with the "responsibility" of keeping the society afloat/being a value to it puts people in a situation where they just don't have the time/energy/resources/education to actually fulfill the responsibilities they have to themselves like their healing, and growth it's genuinely sad that so many of those people blame people for not being ok because they feel shameful and guilty about not being ok themselves and so the cycle (until broken by the acceptance that those responsibilities to self exist and are worth prioritizing) continues
What I find to be fascinating is how they all say the same phrases. My abusive ex said that too. He used to lecture me about how smart women know how to keep their men happy.
Some other common themes...
- “You’re not smart enough to have an opinion” or “You’re not smart enough to read” or “You’re illogical”
- “People are only nice to you to humor you”
- “All of my friends can’t understand why I’m with you”
- “My friends say you’re wrong and I defended you”
- “You have no right to feel that way” Or
- “Your feelings are wrong”
- “Other people see you like x, they’re just too polite to say it”
- “You have problems” or “You’re so damaged” or “What’s wrong with you?”
- “You have a terrible memory” or “You remember the way things happened the wrong way” or “you edit your own memories to manipulate me”
- “You’re crazy”
Look for the person who is trying to:
(1) Turn you against the world
(2) Turn you against yourself
(3) Gaslight you when you try to fix the problems
(4) Tell you that you don’t have the right to think, feel, or voice your opinions
(5) Tell you that they are the only person who will ever put up with you.
Especially for the women out there - watch out for these people. When they first date you they will do everything in their power to be exactly the person you’re looking for, and they will ask plenty of questions and make plenty of observations to see what makes you tick. Then they will prey upon your sense of innocent empowerment. They’ll use your own morality and values against you - attack them to break you down - and eventually reduce you to something low enough that you will start to believe what they’re saying about you is true. That they’re the only ones who will ever love you.
It’s okay to take a step back and objectively look at your situation. It’s a okay to throw away your loyalty when someone repeatedly mistreats your. It’s okay to be done with a person, even if you thought you would never give up on them. It doesn’t make you a bad person.
I’ve seen so many women who will stand by their male partner even if it’s going to be the death of them because they don’t want to compromise their morals, and values, and beliefs on what you should be like when you truly “love” a person. How you should “never give up”.
This is the most dangerous lie society has brainwashed its women with.
Give. The F. Up.
Your morals and values and sense of right and wrong is great - but also a weakness if you refuse to prioritize respect. If your partner is not respecting you, eventually you will come to disrespect yourself.
Think of it this way, if you’re a heterosexual female in this situation. Do you realize how many perfectly nice guys are out there - who never really get the chance to have love because they refuse to play the manipulation game? Those men deserve your love and affection.
We all need to take a stand against this behavior and stop staying in relationships because of the social and moral pressure to do so.
Anyways...I hope this helps someone.
My mum always tell me how she is the best mother in the world and gives me everything. I’m starting to think differently. She might pay for a lot of things for me but she never asks me, she never talks to me. She’s constantly telling me off and shouting at me and it makes me feel like shit, and the other day she slapped me while yelling at me and I have a small bruise there. I’m never sure whether I’m right or she’s wrong or I’m just being a brat and she’s the one who’s right. I just don’t know anymore.
i’m sorry she did that. if you’re in any danger there’s an anonymous hotline called childhelp where you can talk about/get help if you’re abused. if you call it be sure to call it on something that isn’t your iphone/android/whatever, though, cause it will show up on your phone bill.
Have you seen Rapunzel? Your mom sounds a lot like Mother Gothel. Gaslighting, lying, manipulative. Always claiming she's right. Doing the bare minimum to keep the child alive, but keeping her trapped and acting like it's too much work to help her with/encourage her hobby (watch how Rapunzel covers her art when MG gets home, then is hesitant about asking for more paints, and MG is like "get your new paints? That's too much work!").
There's a channel called "Cartoon Therapy" that breaks it all down neatly. Much love to you.
@@aquii5007 yeah but remember by parents logic it's not abuse to slap you in the mouth and say you ain't shit and your just a ungrateful asshole remember?
Sorry but that sucks the most how parents especially parents in the states act like kids don't deserve respect
Sorry this happened to me too with my parents you should speak to a counselor like at a school maybe
Your mom’s abusive. Idk why anyone has said this yet but she is.
Ooohhh yessss...Story of my life!!! Get to a point where you are cool whether they stay or leave and you are truly in charge of your life. Thank you Jesus!
Unless he's a narcissist, they are maladaptive and cannot change
Oh he's definitely a narcissist...through and through.
That's not a fact
@@sweetsweet81 How did you conclude he’s a narcissist?
@@fuhk I lived with one. I have personal experience along with research.
People can change but they have to be willing. We all have free will and will power because we all came from the same source energy, that is the creator. Traditional psychologist/ therapist can't help but there are exceptional healers/ teachers out there on awareness/ mindfulness. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. When the student is truly ready, the teacher disappears
It’s scary how many parents do this to their children
She needs to move on. Whst does he do for her except tear her down. Who needs that? She needs to value herself and not tolerate his very mean, abusive behavior. She deserves so much better. She's not his maid. She's supposed to be his wife! She needs to kick him to the curb. I wish her well.
He knew what he was doing to her. That was just confirmation... he’s laughing wickedly in the inside.
I'm going through this very thing with my childs dad he says the same shit to me. Tells me nobody else would want me.. My family don't love me. Nobody but him has my best interest. I'm not about nothing because i couldn't find a job. So many women want him so i can get out. All kinds of evil shit including body shaming 🙅
Same😢
It does get worse
That's terrible....I'm sorry, I know what that feels like too hun☹
Melissa Whitaker you should get away from him. If he's doing all that now, it can turn into physical abuse and can try to hurt you. I know it's easier said then done but you can do it. I was scared to leave because I felt mentally stuck and was afraid of what might happen. But I prayed on it and did it and I can tell you it's the most liberating feeling. You deserve someone who is going to love and respect you, not belittle you.
I sure hope u not with him now
Just like the judge said your better then that. Get your education.
“always be in a position to tell a dude he can STEP” i FELT THATTTT!!!💯
Verbal and emotional abuse is a slow death by a thousand cuts!
"always be in the position to tell a dude he could step" yes mam 💯
I wonder if he's intelligent enough to understand those judge's words. Look at those empty eyes.
He looks like he's awake and sleep at the same time. He even clapped just because everyone else did even though he was the one who was being ripped into
Clearly not.. he was clapping when the judge was calling out his bullshit 🤣 he dumb
The people who disliked this video aren't afraid to admit that they are abusers and will would not mind even a bit to get a taste of their own medicine.
Education is so powerful, relationships and jobs come and go
But once you earn that degree nobody can take that away from you!
"It doesn't seem like it would do that, but it does"
That hit hard, especially when you know how that feels.
The judge took the bull by the horns.
You're on point, Judge Lynn! (I know first hand. 😡)
When you can tell a man, “I don’t need your money. I make more than you, got a better house than you, the only reason you’re here is because I want you here,” they straighten right on up. Go to school, gf, go to school!
"The more education you have" 💯💯💯💯 yes!!!! Don't let anyone ever tell you, WHO YOU ARE👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
The BEST Divorce Court Judge EVERRRR. I can't watch nobody else
Excellent counsel.
She got a nerve to be talking about smoking some more
divorce that narc!!! he wont change
KIND WORDS ARE LIKE "HONEY"......
Curtistine Miller Thank you. Sugarplum, baby, you got this....positive words
Jacquie Mo YOURE SO WELCOME.GOD BLESS YOU...
For you maybe 😂
Some chicks are so easy 😂
You can say "honey" to anybody. I need something more than that along with actions.
@@chiaraippoliti
Here you go, love
Some times talking back does not mean “he stops that nonsense”
Some time the only way to make it stop is to stop the abuser from being a part of your life
Easier said than done
@@zyoh4311 Of course it’s easier said than done, but that’s the only solution. They’ll never change. You need to look out for yourself in these situations.
@@zyoh4311
I know it’s easier said than done, trust me, I KNOW.
But it’s the truth and it needs to be said!
@@cocob0l0 @Anna K
i know but what about people who don't know where to go or have parents like this? You cant just shit on them for not being able to find an opportunity to get out when every attempts may be worse? You cant insinuate that they should off themselves who do you think you are? Imo you both are nasty perverted people ganging up on me and hating on others who cant get out. I wish for this moment to only be the moment you two existed in my life. I don't like being negative so I hope you both manage to find true beauty within yourselves instead of attacking others.
@@zyoh4311 What the hell are you talking about?!?! I didn’t say anything. Nasty and perverted? Wtf is wrong with you?! When did I attack you?! Are you blind?! I’ve been a victim of an abusive relationship. The only way for abuse to end is if you cut it out. It’s easier said than done because I know it is and I’ve been there
Imo she needs to leave him. The moment the one you’re with insults you, you should leave.
Depends on context, really
sometimes it is hard to leave though. verbal abusers can go from just manipulative to dangerous in a second. they might threaten you, hurt you, etc. just leaving isn’t always easy.
@@coffee7644 i think when he insults you, you need to tell him that it isn't cool. Once a warning is given and he doesn't change, just leave without a word.
@@coolmatrix15 and if it's jokingly?
@@coffee7644 it depends on how you know him btw. If he's always mean then the joke is meant to be insulting. Also, one who loves you won't do anything to hurt you and that includes body shaming. Have him know that you don't find the joke funny amd see if he does it again.
She is so intelligent! Love the way she breaks things down to ppl so they can open their eyes! Yup, never let anyone get in the way of what you want in life! If you have kids and you support them to do better and have more in life.... a partner who loves you will want the same for you!!!!
Don't try to control people like him. Simply get them out of your life entirely..
No wonder I'm such an anxious, depressed mess. Thanks mom!
in high school i was in an 8 year relationship, prom and everything. she was very abusive to me towards the end and maybe couple of years into it.it changed me and i can never go back to feeling how i was no matter how hard i try. if someone is abusing you better to leave early on, dont let it go on.
Those eyes !..Gosh! he looks scary.
This touched me because I was verbally abused verbally abused a few months ago..I'm still healing from that. 🙏🏾
Judge's advice while well intentioned doesn't take specific circumstances into account USE JUDGEMENT if you fear or know that a partner may harm you if you threaten to leave you may need to be a bit sneaky
That's one example there's as many possibilities as there are possible couples
Seek help. You're worth it.
They will never change. Judge is just being nice cause he's standing there
It’s nice to hear a judge whose trauma informed
I got second hand embarrassment from him clapping 💀
Martin! Get ta steppin!.
I absolutely adore Jackie Ormes!
Was groomed for 2 years by a 17 year old when I was 12. It’s been 4 years and his words still have an affect on my self esteem
That’s horrible. I know exactly how you feel, it sucks.
This woman is legend.
Forrest Whittaker?!? That u?!? 😵😵
Kori Banks paahahah!😂💀🤦🏼♀️🤣👀
😂😂😂😂😂
Nope! I don’t see it😀
LMAO 🤣🤣🤣
To tha t
This also applies to bullying. There was a girl in my friend group who was doing this to me and everyone knew but did nothing. I feel this
My father treats us like this everyday I know it’s not normal but it feels normal
Look at her eyes. She has had enough. I felt that.
That’s so sad. You can see the innocence and hurt in her eyes..
He is threatening her and playing mind games, she can do better AND, he may want to stop because she I see killer in her eyes right here
Judge Lynn is legendary
Thank you to this judge is sticking up for women who have been not only verbally abuse but physically and mentally abuse. It takes your soul it breaks your soul it takes your hope. Been 8 years and still messed up... (he almost killed me 3 times)... glad to be alive
My parents talks to me like that all the time and its like continuous burns and feels its melting from inside. Every fight with them takes me an inch closer to suicidal thoughts. Few years more or less looks like I will be living.
Hey. Stay away from those freaks as much as possible, okay? Don’t fight them. Don’t talk back to them. Just keep your head down and shut up - do what they’re telling you and avoid conflict as much as possible.
Reach out to your school. There should be a counsellor there that can help you. When you have a private meeting with your doctor, tell them your parents emotionally abuse you and it’s causing you severe depression. Doctors know not to rat you out.
Most importantly do NOT try to talk things out with your parents. They’re just going to try to manipulate you. Don’t trust them. They’re monsters.
You’re going to be okay...you just need to wait long enough until you’re able to escape. I don’t know how old you are but I’m assuming you’re underaged and you can’t get away.
Listen. You’re not alone. Read these comments. So many people are sitting in a dark corner crying right now because their parents are total aholes. Think of all of the people that are crying with you. Thousands of people hurting the way you’re hurting. Feel bad for all of them, and for yourself, because this SUCKS.
But don’t let your parents be the cause of you throwing in the towel. Not yet. You can take your life later if you want to - it’s going to be there to take when you want to - but why would you do that before you get the chance to really live?
One of these days you’re going to have the power to throw it in their face and that’s going to feel sooo good. One day they’re going to see just how wrong they were, and they’re going to ask for forgiveness and you’ll get the satisfaction of saying “No. F you.”
You just have to hang out for a while in this hell hole, nightmare of a life, waiting for that day to come. It seems like it’s impossibly far away...but try talking to people here in the TH-cam comments who have been through what you’ve been through.
They’ll tell you how amazing you’re going to become - and guess what?
You will. Why? Because struggling this way early in your life makes you a juggernaught for later life trauma. After this crap - nothing is going to hurt you this way again. Trust me. I know, because I had a crap childhood, and I’ve had abuse on a number of occasions.
At first it breaks you down, but you will build yourself back up again because you’re still breathing. It just happens.
And when you do - you’ll become heckin incredible.
I love your cute profile pic by the way. Don’t leave us yet. You haven’t even really introduced yourself to the world as the person you’re going to be one day. We want to meet you, and see all of the cool things about you that make you awesome and different and super amazing.
I know it’s hard, but just try to coast through this. Remember the tiny happy things in life. Kittens. Ice cream sandwiches. Look up the song “Don’t be Sad” on TH-cam. It’s a personal favorite. I listen to it when I feel really depressed.
Being a kid (as I’m assuming you are) sucked for me so bad. I think it was even worse than the abusive relationship I was in as an adult. I have SO much compassion for what you’re going through. Man. It’s so hard. Adults never really seem to get how tough it is. I don’t know how I made it through.
But pretty quickly, I did. Then I was free - and then life got a thousand times better.
If you’re going to take your own life - nobody can stop you. But do yourself a favor. Find out what the rest of your life is going to look like after you escape your parent’s tyranny. You need to know what your giving up.
This thing you’re going through right now isn’t real life. It’s like a nightmare. You’re going to wake up sooner than you think.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Take care of yourself, okay? I really want you to grow up and become a healthy person who is the master of their own life. I’m convinced you have it in you. You’re so much stronger than you realize. For starters - you’re still alive. That, my friend, makes you a survivor. Survivors are strong - and they’re the heros of our world.
So many of us went through painful childhoods. So many people are going through them now. One day you’re going to meet them and you’re all going to understand each other in a way that is way deeper and more meaningful than the norm.
Hang around for those people. So you can be there to empathize with them when they need a shoulder to cry on. The world needs you.
Here’s my suggestion for you. Let yourself fantasize. Turn off the lights, close your eyes, and in your head - go somewhere. Anywhere you want to. You can be a character in a book or you can fall in love with someone you have a crush on. Your mind is the place where you can go anywhere and be anyone.
I’m an adult - and I do this. It helps me cope with the stress of life. Fantasizing isn’t childish - it’s a powerful human ability. The more you practice it, the better you will get.
Good luck friend. Stay strong 💕
You got this I know from experience just ignore them as much as you can
Thank you judge.
People rarely ever realize how damaging it is at my old highschool people used to say that "It's the abuse for weak people" and it's not
amen judge toler!
AMEN! I'll tell u to step, quick!
I love this woman. Judge Lynn Toler is amazing.
love her words have me thinking about alot of my situations
I miss this grown woman's tellin it like it should be advice to other women on tv. Please give her another show.
I completely relate to this with my ex..... it breaks your spirit down even when you do your best to tolerate it.
Theres a lot more to the message of this video. Im surprised nobody else commented on it.
1.)What the guy said was horrible. WE can all agree on that. Its one of the biggest longest lasting stereotypes that women box men into as this down talking potato head has stated it. He got what he deserved in this segment.
2.) The part towards the end that nobody said- about how the judge advises women to essentially say anytime and everytime that their husband can "step" up and get out if he doesnt like her pursuing something, is in of itself verbal abuse! You cannot have that attitude in a marriage! That is not what married couples sign up for at the altar! When you sign up for a marriage you are signing up to bond yourself to that other person. That other person becomes part of you. You CANNOT do things that even potentially break away the bond with your other half- even if they benefit you financially- simply for the reason you need to pursue things that bring you closer together. I havent heard one logical explanation from all these feminist apologetics and man haters how a woman working more hours away from her man makes the couple closer together- that is apart from a very temporary hour increase that is later discarded to spend more time together later.
FOLKS! Be very careful and think about the words that come out of the mouths of people in high leadership! If it is not good for the family than it is not good! however, there are many times good nuggest in things like this video that are good as well.
I had to look twice. I thought he was dosing... 🙄
I’m a victim of abuse and for a while I’ve put off watching this video just because I didn’t want to re-live things. However hearing the judge talk about it, it really helps..
I need her as my counselor therapist and bestie!!!!
I’m finally out of my four year narcissistic abusive relationship. I feel numb but I can get thru anything 😞 just feel hurt & tired
Why is this guy clapping? He's the one in the wrong.
Gaslighting. Such an asshole. I really hope she left him and got herself that education.
@@cocob0l0 can you explain that word to me?
@@Jarl3169 It’s a way of manipulation. So the guy was like “yeah I say these things to her” and stands by that. But when the judge calls him out for that shitty behaviour, he applauds along with the rest of the court as if he’s agreeing with her, in an attempt to confuse his wife. Gaslighting leaves the victims confused as to what is right or wrong and they aren’t able to trust their own judgement because of it.
Can we take a moment to appreciate the judge? Absolute queen
Wow I went through way worse verbal abuse as a teenager and I was younger
But he already knows it!!! That's why he does it
this almost made me cry. this is extremely empowering and more people need to hear this.
A quick reminder:
Its not ONLY men!
If youre a dude, a women with a women, a dude with a dude, or whatever, many women can be manipulative narcicissts too!
You can, and should, get help somehow if someone abuses you, even if its a women. Never think that you arent allowed to because youre a man!
Everyone can be an asshole.
Same goes for friends and parents too.
My now boyfriend was with a girl who broke him down to the point, he wasnt allowed to do anything with friends or even text anyone. He felt like no one ever would love him except her. Im so glad he's with me now.
She’s too good looking. Stop giving ugly dudes a chance. It’s giving them confidence to try and be a F boy
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💟
Things is, many "good looking" people are lazy and want to live off of their good looks and charm, so they have no skills and thus no value other than physical attraction, which only goes but so far and doesn't last forever.
Why would she stay and deal with emotional abuse? The average "good looking" woman would not. They would be on to the next guy because they have guys hitting on them EVERYDAY.
I doubt that was the case with this woman and she probably had little to no marketable skills, in which case the only value she has to offer a man is physical attraction and submission and if she doesn't want to be submissive, what else is there to offer, other than more responsibility and thus more stress for a man?
Fr. Learned that the hard way. You would think ugly mofos would be nicer considering they're repulsive. Smh.
@@armannstraughter3296 you’re a whole beta male dude... no woman will ever want you
@@glennquagmire9737 We'll see about that.