“I’m Glad My Mom Died:” Jennette McCurdy on Her New Memoir | Amanpour and Company

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ส.ค. 2022
  • Jennette McCurdy was a child actor in Nickelodeon shows like "iCarly" and "Sam & Cat," starring alongside Ariana Grande. In a new memoir, McCurdy opens up about her struggles with addiction and eating disorders as well as her troubled relationship with her mother. She speaks with Michel Martin about all this and why she is choosing to speak out.
    Originally aired on August 12, 2022
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Subscribe to the Amanpour and Company. channel here: bit.ly/2EMIkTJ
    Subscribe to our daily newsletter to find out who's on each night: www.pbs.org/wnet/amanpour-and-...
    For more from Amanpour and Company, including full episodes, click here: to.pbs.org/2NBFpjf
    Like Amanpour and Company on Facebook: bit.ly/2HNx3EF
    Follow Amanpour and Company on Twitter: bit.ly/2HLpjTI
    Watch Amanpour and Company weekdays on PBS (check local listings).
    Amanpour and Company features wide-ranging, in-depth conversations with global thought leaders and cultural influencers on the issues and trends impacting the world each day, from politics, business and technology to arts, science and sports. Christiane Amanpour leads the conversation on global and domestic news from London with contributions by prominent journalists Walter Isaacson, Michel Martin, Alicia Menendez and Hari Sreenivasan from the Tisch WNET Studios at Lincoln Center in New York City.
    #amanpourpbs

ความคิดเห็น • 670

  • @samantharosee_xx6810
    @samantharosee_xx6810 ปีที่แล้ว +1096

    I grew up as a kid loving and admiring Sam Puckett, but now as an adult I love and admire Jennette McCurdy.

    • @albertabramson3157
      @albertabramson3157 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      She's also a great indy director. I'd suggest that you watch Kenny and Strong, Independent Women. It can be hard to watch, but JM keeps you in it.

    • @blububblebish
      @blububblebish ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes!! What a great way to put it. I was trying to explain this feeling of relating then and now well said

    • @nnamdiuyalorjr2896
      @nnamdiuyalorjr2896 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Agreed. Jennette McCurdy is definitely a very strong and independent woman. I hope she makes a full recovery from such horrible abuse.

    • @lorinasr7910
      @lorinasr7910 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      As an adult who’s mother expected so much, I can relate in so many ways to Jeanette. The relief I felt after my mother passed was so great,I actually felt guilty for many years. I will definitely be buying this book.

    • @glenfleetham3239
      @glenfleetham3239 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same love her

  • @averybolton4433
    @averybolton4433 ปีที่แล้ว +302

    i think this was the first interview she has done where the person interviewing really tried to understand and recognize jennette. she sympathized about her mother being a bad person with her, she held back after jennette basically said let’s stop talking about the hush money, and she asked questions that were important. loves it.

    • @MaxxRemKing1
      @MaxxRemKing1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No.the interviewer was CRINGY AF.

    • @macforme
      @macforme ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I agree with you and I went back and got her name : Michel Martin

    • @macforme
      @macforme ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@MaxxRemKing1 You have issues..... get help.

    • @tdmac117
      @tdmac117 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@MaxxRemKing1 whats the matter with you

    • @xXxakurokuxXx123
      @xXxakurokuxXx123 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@MaxxRemKing1 you mad boo?

  • @rachelly00
    @rachelly00 ปีที่แล้ว +647

    This woman is an amazing interviewer. Very well researched, extremely empathetic, and listens to her guest, but also engages and relates to the guest! Wow, she is phenomenal.

    • @arod2364
      @arod2364 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      You can tell she actually read her memoir. Many people that interview, haven’t even read set book/memoir to discuss it. Good interview on both ends.

    • @madiis18account
      @madiis18account ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Literally one of the best interviews I've ever seen

    • @aFoxyFox.
      @aFoxyFox. ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@madiis18account I've always liked the interviewer as well, all people are looking for is honesty and sincerity and being real and not obvious "careerism" or whatever, where people seem so self-absorbed when they are trying to talk to someone else, she related from the heart, even more than her guest ultimately who is still a bit uptight (understandably).

    • @coppersense999
      @coppersense999 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Agree. If journalism doesn't pan out she can always start over as a therapist lol. She handled JM's rebuff of the question about Hollywood insider gossip gracefully, sideways mentioning she asked another Hollywood reporter how to handle a celebrity interview before backtracking to safe, professional ground, saying they reached out to the network and agents for comment. Very well done and respectful.

    • @bentonrp
      @bentonrp ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes. Except when she says My Truth at 15:37. A tell-tale sign of a bullsh*t artist of many. Or at the very least, a delusion-enabler. The interviewer, not MrCurdy.

  • @gabgab8691
    @gabgab8691 ปีที่แล้ว +88

    This journalist was so incredibly empathetic. Her questions, her phrasing, her tone all hit poignant notes throughout this interview. She absolutely needs more airtime and a freaking raise! Hats off to her for creating a memorable and respectful space for Jennette and the audience.

  • @klassicalmuzik
    @klassicalmuzik ปีที่แล้ว +595

    “I’m Glad My Mom Died” is sort of the “Mommie Dearest” book of our generation. Jeanette McCurdy’s book is going to have a cultural impact and bring more awareness to new layers of child abuse the way Christina Crawford’s book did.

    • @priscillamichael891
      @priscillamichael891 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      When I was a kid I called my mom mommy dearest one time. I had never heard of the book and just said it randomly. My mom yelled at me and intimated me so I would never call her that again. I wonder why

    • @ambriaashley3383
      @ambriaashley3383 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Yes, hearing her story helps me and will help many others. We should support all survivors in this way.

    • @aFoxyFox.
      @aFoxyFox. ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Do people still read books? I hope it helps people like you are saying it might, but I'm not sure most people even read these sorts of books anymore.

    • @khatzeye
      @khatzeye ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@aFoxyFox. hey boomer there’s a new tech called audiobooks. People can now listen to books. Geez. And yea, plenty of people do read. Maybe just not the ones you’re around.

    • @aFoxyFox.
      @aFoxyFox. ปีที่แล้ว

      @@khatzeye That is great to hear. Do you think that the original poster's assessment of the impact this particular book will have with the way things operate these days seems accurate?

  • @bobbyiconic
    @bobbyiconic ปีที่แล้ว +489

    Jennette is so well spoken and intelligent. Like damn, she is quite eloquent and self conscious. It really feels she has worked on herself and she have learnt about everything she has gone through. Also, she looks like she's very straight forward. She's a strong and lovely woman.

  • @albin2232
    @albin2232 ปีที่แล้ว +802

    She is a very nice woman.
    I really wish that people would realise that not everyone has loving parents, and that many have very unloving ones.

    • @justinwhite6787
      @justinwhite6787 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Very well put, thank you. So very true.

    • @kirstieb8025
      @kirstieb8025 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      abusive

    • @leedaniels7196
      @leedaniels7196 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Very true!.

    • @61505
      @61505 ปีที่แล้ว

      keep in mind , her mother was mentally ill and had survived cancer, only for the cancer to return. I understand her mothers behaviour was definitely harmful but not loving her daughter? its not clear cut.

    • @albin2232
      @albin2232 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@61505 Maybe not clear to *you.*

  • @PurgPurg
    @PurgPurg ปีที่แล้ว +105

    Can everyone take a second to acknowledge how good the interviewer is here? I’ve watched her other media interviews and they’re nowhere near as thoughtful as this. This woman definitely read the book and she’s able to ask intelligent, well formed questions on the spot.

  • @AllTheArtsy
    @AllTheArtsy ปีที่แล้ว +270

    Anyone who feels offended by the title should consider that not every parental relationship is healthy, much less good. Some parents are horrific. Some people should not have been parents. It's her story and her life. She's exactly right- she, very sadly, earned the right to write a book with that title.

    • @gerardinecizmar
      @gerardinecizmar ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I so agree.

    • @bentonrp
      @bentonrp ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Fortunately for me, I cannot validate your statement with direct experience.
      Not that I can for the opposite either. My mom is a sadistic, mental, manipulative control freak who's too dangerous for me to ever talk to,
      ... but she along with my step-dad did raise me with many comforts and privileges and make sure that I didn't die,
      so I can't say it's the same situation where it's so bad I would be glad she died. A little relieved maybe, but I am not oppose to seeing her again on her deathbed when she is no longer a threat.

    • @gerardinecizmar
      @gerardinecizmar ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@bentonrp I'm sorry to hear that. I don't know how old you are but the best thing to do is just stay away from her. They don't ever change.

    • @bentonrp
      @bentonrp ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@gerardinecizmar You know, you're quite right. Lifelong skills that take time and work daily aren't just things acquired overnight. Not even a fraction of them. It's a long journey that just isn't their destiny, so thank you for looking out for what's best, and stay safe! 😊

    • @gerardinecizmar
      @gerardinecizmar ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@bentonrp Stay safe too!

  • @colleenheater1652
    @colleenheater1652 ปีที่แล้ว +164

    I too grew up with an abusive bi-polar mother, and when she died, I was so relieved that I emotionally didn't have to worry about her anymore. I so admire Jennette for her honesty and her amazing level of maturity and grace. It is obvious she did a lot of hard work to get there, and she blossomed into this beautiful soul that wants to make a difference in people's lives.

    • @carynmartin6053
      @carynmartin6053 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's comments like these that I find to be equally as therapeutic as the interviews and the book itself!

  • @MrAilsaAng
    @MrAilsaAng ปีที่แล้ว +58

    this was the only interviewer who I felt showed empathy towards Jennette instead of her abusive mother and actually read the whole book before sitting down to talk

    • @JillWhitmarsh
      @JillWhitmarsh ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I agree. Wonderful interviewer. Thoughtful questions. This is the third interview I’ve seen and this is the first interviewer who seems to actually care about Jenette’s experience.

    • @marielange9077
      @marielange9077 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Michelle Martin has experience, has long been a stellar interviewer & brilliant reporter.

    • @MaxxRemKing1
      @MaxxRemKing1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I completely disagree about the interviewer. Its like she couldn't believe people have bad mothers it was cringy.

    • @xXxakurokuxXx123
      @xXxakurokuxXx123 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@MaxxRemKing1 try again

    • @xXxakurokuxXx123
      @xXxakurokuxXx123 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes and her tone is respectful instead of condescending or “awed for shock value”

  • @allisonandrews4719
    @allisonandrews4719 ปีที่แล้ว +198

    “It’s a point of view I earned because of the life I lived.” This is brilliant. This young woman just gave me one more little bit of freedom. Gratis. Rock on funny lady. Thank you.

  • @bonegrubber
    @bonegrubber ปีที่แล้ว +352

    Not everyone will understand what it means to come to a place where it's ok to feel glad about someone dying.

    • @jabbermocky4520
      @jabbermocky4520 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      They are lucky if they never have to get to that place. Some of us must. Our own lives are valuable. We must learn to value ourselves or die. Heavy stuff and not for the weak.

    • @CortexNewsService
      @CortexNewsService ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I wasn't when my mom passed. But... I wasn't exactly crushed either. At best, I had a very *very* complex relationship with her. And I was very lucky. I got of easy with what I had to deal with. I'm willing to bet a surprising number of people will get the emotions behind that title.

    • @PreYeah
      @PreYeah ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @Matt Woodruff, I just finished reading Jennette's book, although I've been watching a lot of these interviews since the book came out. Going by the comments and opinions of those who find her title offensive; it may be safe to say there are far more people who don't, and will never, understand what it means to come from this place - either because of their own position of genuine privilege, or their own denial.
      The last chapter especially describes this preassumption the world has about mothers - they are revered only due to their status of being a mother, without actually accounting for their character. I feel like we are only now waking up to the idea of mental health awareness and narcissistic abuse, and mainly thanks to the internet + social media. A lot of countries still don't recognize mental health/emotional wellbeing, and signs of abuse. Not everyone's ready for it, but it's coming to light.

    • @nejuw
      @nejuw ปีที่แล้ว +3

      it's called being evil

    • @leftthatbehind6090
      @leftthatbehind6090 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@nejuw what her mum did was evil. It’s oki to feel relieved when someone died. It’s not like she killed her.

  • @jaky411
    @jaky411 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    The refusal to get help and her mother growing up with generational trauma is so relatable with my own mother. The infantilization as a way to keep her as a little girl and having control is exactly what my mother did and my younger sister refuses to acknowledge…

    • @terriej123
      @terriej123 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I understand, but mental illness sometimes causes people to refuse treatment. The illness itself causes that. It’s a symptom of it. My question is where were the other adults in this family? Or in these kids lives? Someone that they could trust & whom might’ve been able to convince the mom to get treatment. It certainly wasn’t the children’s job to do so.

    • @jaky411
      @jaky411 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@terriej123 those are some really good questions you bring up, there may be a likely chance that other parties in that person’s life are distant or don’t care to help/think is necessary to butt in to other person’s personal lives even it may be the right thing to do as a friend/human being.

  • @doubledutchclutch
    @doubledutchclutch ปีที่แล้ว +45

    I love how Martin actually reads the books the author has written and comes with wonderfully insightful questions. McCurdy provided great answers to every question. I felt like I found a spiritual twin throughout a lot of the interview. I hope things continue to get better for her.

  • @beanburrito8903
    @beanburrito8903 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    She's so mature and amazing. This is our generation. This type of intelligence and maturity is necessary for all of us younger crowd.

    • @kepigal
      @kepigal ปีที่แล้ว +4

      A lot of us older ones too

  • @anitaaveytia1392
    @anitaaveytia1392 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    People who have a healthy relationship with their parents won't understand. I chased after my mom for years trying to get her to love me. You can't make someone love you , even if that person is your mother.

    • @sheenabean222
      @sheenabean222 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Well said, and I can relate.

    • @777superlightwater
      @777superlightwater ปีที่แล้ว

      :(

    • @dianal3336
      @dianal3336 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Same! I'm 30 and chased my mom until 23. I kept trying to express my feelings about all the hurt that she caused, for her to acknowledge but it was constant gaslighting. I still talk to my mom but only hi and bye conversations. It saddens me to this day to not feel loved by her. It still also appalls me and mindblows me how people live well into their mid to old age and don't reflect on their lives. Do they not see the damage and harm they caused with their actions and words?

    • @anitaaveytia1392
      @anitaaveytia1392 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@dianal3336 , isn't it hard! I was truly tired and I just couldn't do it anymore. My mom was always putting me down. Her favorite put down was " fat bitch." No matter what I did it wasn't good enough for her. She always put a man ahead of me, and thought I had to respect those loosers!! Even when I was molested at 9yrs old by the old pervert she married; she still didn't do anything. When I told her what he was doing to me she said " well Nita if we leave where are we going to go?" I was devastated. Family members till this day try to make me feel bad about not talking to her and I just ignore them. Some people will just never understand what we go thru or have gone thru. You have to make peace with what happened and try to live your life. My Granny and Papa were my saviors. They are gone now and I feel like my parents are gone . My mothers last words to me were " you ain't shit, I never wanted to be a mother!" So I said a prayer for her and let her go, there is nothing else I can do. We deserve happiness as well.

    • @dianal3336
      @dianal3336 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@anitaaveytia1392 I'm sorry all you've gone through! You are strong, wonderful, and worthy! Sending you positive thoughts❤

  • @mbankslje0nk
    @mbankslje0nk ปีที่แล้ว +47

    I can relate to you my mother was serious mental ill. As a result I suffered alot of neglect and abuse growing up. My mother died of breast cancer in 1981 when she was 40 and I was 20. I emotionally lost it for 5 or 6 years until I sought help for my addictions and abuse issues. Thanks for speaking out on this issue! ❤️

  • @syd6130
    @syd6130 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    This is the best interview I’ve seen about this memoir. Jeannette is always well spoken but you can tell she was comfortable and appreciated the interviewers care, empathy, and her thoughtful questions. This interviewer is a gem!

  • @cruz3608
    @cruz3608 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    This is the best interview by far. I could tell that Michel genuinely cared about the book and her story, and asked all of the questions that I would have wanted to.

    • @MaxxRemKing1
      @MaxxRemKing1 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think the interviewer was very cringy

  • @abidykes7810
    @abidykes7810 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    God her story resonates with me so much-I also survived narcissistic abuse from my mother until she died when I was 14. I relate to the complicated grieving process of sadness and relief and subsequent guilt. So many parts of the book felt like describing my childhood and my heart goes out to her. The title of the book was so freeing to read, and especially in this interview where she says that her mum’s death allowed her to have her own identity-100% relate. It’s so amazing to see someone else with such positive reception, admitting that her life is easier since her mum died, because that was such a hard thing for me to admit too. Love this book and love her.

    • @livingintheforest3963
      @livingintheforest3963 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It is an extremely difficult mourning process when you lose a parent like this!

    • @lunaholiday8585
      @lunaholiday8585 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I’m so sorry Abi. I’m glad you survived!

    • @Di...747
      @Di...747 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I was fortunate. Both my parents were narcissistic one was Munchausen by proxy. I knew there was something wrong with both of them by the time I was five. They emotionally destroyed me. But I always knew this was not normal this was not right. I was fortunate to be aware enough at such a young age to understand it. But it has left me with chronic trust issues because lack of trust became such a state of being from early on.

  • @blonder114
    @blonder114 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    Jannette, honey your mother was a full on narcissist. They never get help and the hard core ones end up abusing their children and anyone around them. I’m sorry you had to live through this, it profoundly impacts your life to have a parent like that.

    • @livingintheforest3963
      @livingintheforest3963 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I was just thinking all this too!!
      The narcissist mother!👍

    • @peacehappyb237
      @peacehappyb237 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yup, it sounds like it.

    • @HanGangSiyin
      @HanGangSiyin ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@laurelbee5478 Shows how you don't understand narcissism. Narcissists see their children as extensions of themselves, not as separate individuals. So projecting your unfulfilled dreams onto your child is very common in narcissistic parents... She wanted to have a second go at life and get success through her daughter. So yes, very typical narcissistic behavior.

    • @PaolaTheTimeLord
      @PaolaTheTimeLord ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@HanGangSiyin exactly. you explained it better than i could

    • @lorettanericcio-bohlman567
      @lorettanericcio-bohlman567 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@laurelbee5478 check out Dr Ramani TH-cam

  • @patriciaredmond3996
    @patriciaredmond3996 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Probably the best interview of Jeannette McCurdy and take on that title I've seen. She's someone my children have admired and I can see why

  • @Minecraftmom86
    @Minecraftmom86 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Mrs. Martin is such an amazing interviewer! From her empathy to her well-formed questions and responses. I could tell Jeanette felt so seen. Never condescending or too detached like some interviewers. It was such a great conversation. Well done!

  • @xsquishycatx
    @xsquishycatx ปีที่แล้ว +118

    This is a fantastic interview and I love how she is showing genuine appreciation to the interviewer

  • @sheeshjg4164
    @sheeshjg4164 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    She is a wise, old soul teacher. What a good job she’s doing by sharing her story and her emotional wisdom. This is what is needed now.

    • @JosedeJezeus
      @JosedeJezeus ปีที่แล้ว

      She's a godless child. Her wisdom is severely limited.

    • @sargonassarg4356
      @sargonassarg4356 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@JosedeJezeus Yet she sees more than you.

    • @CortexNewsService
      @CortexNewsService ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@JosedeJezeus Dude, she's in her mid-20s. And has dealt with more stuff than most of us. Just because it's not the wisdom you want her to talk about is no reason to dismiss it.

    • @caleguillory5451
      @caleguillory5451 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@CortexNewsService Jennette McCurdy is actually 30 years old. She was born June 26, 1992.

  • @clarino910
    @clarino910 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    This is probably one of the best interviews I've ever seen. This interviewer is fantastic, and both parties are so eloquent. Love the way they bounce off each other.

    • @MaxxRemKing1
      @MaxxRemKing1 ปีที่แล้ว

      The interviewer was cringy

  • @adiegrass1616
    @adiegrass1616 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    In all the interviews I watch of her, she’s always so respectful and thoughtful to interviewers. I love that about her.

  • @maddie9185
    @maddie9185 ปีที่แล้ว +135

    All children always feel a need to please their parents and it’s so sad when parents take advantage of that.

  • @patmc2916
    @patmc2916 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    I am immensely grateful to Jennette for opening the topic of mothers who do not love their children, she is breaking the myth that mothers unconditionally love their children and it was about time she put herself on the table, she helps us tons to who have gone through the experience of not being loved by our mothers.

  • @SJmystic
    @SJmystic ปีที่แล้ว +115

    What an impressive young woman. To see her ease with her past, despite all she had experienced, is a testament to the growth and healing that is possible in the face of very challenging family experiences.
    Thank you, Jennette, for sharing your story! How wonderful to see the beautiful result of all your self-examination and growth!!
    Thank you, Amanpour and Company, for choosing to feature this young woman's story and perspective!

  • @danmorse2002
    @danmorse2002 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    This interview blew me away. She’s fantastic and the interviewer is so good. Great and relevant questions and i think she highlighted the book perfectly. If you haven’t read the book you really should. And the fact she’s catching shit for the title and content of the book is ridiculous. These things happened to her and she was brave enough to come out the other side stronger than ever. Amazing story.

  • @cloudburstt
    @cloudburstt ปีที่แล้ว +19

    It looks like she actualy genuinely cared about her mother as an indvidual. It's so sad for a child to watch their parent be unwell and suffering in some way but, the parent refuses to get help.
    Good for her to be dealing with this. She is a cycle breaker

  • @monaylinkov
    @monaylinkov ปีที่แล้ว +27

    This has been the best interview, so far, on Jennette’s book! I loved every second of it, you can really tell Michel is genuinely interested in listening to Jennette. Congrats to both of you!

  • @reacebean4428
    @reacebean4428 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I grew up watching Icarly during my childhood and now being 18, I never realized how much Jeannette’s and her mother’s relationship was similar to mines and my mother’s. It’s really upsetting that people go through these things and I’m glad to see she’s doing well!

  • @jayrenee378
    @jayrenee378 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    She wouldn't apologize. Trust me. I did that and my mom called me a liar and delusional.

    • @CortexNewsService
      @CortexNewsService ปีที่แล้ว +8

    • @alkalinga5037
      @alkalinga5037 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Exactly.They are in complete denial of their actions

    • @Eric-tj3tg
      @Eric-tj3tg ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@alkalinga5037 This is because they're in denial about their own trauma, unprocessed.
      In no way diminishes the child's brutal experiences, and that's a full stop. This parenting style, authoritarian, narcissistic, is an absolute epidemic. I remember reading Alice Miller's "The Drama of the Gifted Child", and it resonated profoundly; she understood- intellectually. I was aghast that her son waited until she died, and published his book, detailing his childhood. It's really deep, this, and even intellectually knowing does not equate to empathy. If a parent hasn't felt their pain, it's projected as empathy isn't available.
      C-PTSD should be a diagnosis in the DSM, but Van Der Kolk discusses, in "The Body Keeps the Score", the political bs which kept it out, while The ICD-9 included it. As Pete Walker, a therapist/author said in his book, "From Surviving to Thriving", a Psychologist quipped that if Parental Abuse was given it's due, the DSM, now the size of a large dictionary, would be reduced to a small pamphlet. I feel her, as my abusive mother died 10 years past. What I hadn't yet realized, emotionally, was my father's role. And as I have, he is discarding me...scapegoated again. They only want their praises sung, and reality, well that's the child's/adult survivor's problem. It's very hard to believe, and a long haul to heal from, depending on the person. Instead, Depression, Anxiety, Personality Disorders are hung upon the victim. It takes a long time for most to heal, it's hard, and it's expensive. I'm glad she had the courage and the means.
      May all who have been harmed by these parents be blessed, and given the help to heal. The ACEs test is there, the data is there, there's a shortage of therapists (who have/are) doing their work on their own traumas, and that is a true hindrance.

    • @vv9452
      @vv9452 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You’re correct, rarely the abusers take responsibility for their actions. They are in denial, that’s why they keep hurting other people. They just keep going… and when confronted they will deflect, deny, and turn things around which further invalidates the victims thus would not recommend it. Only best path is no contact because as a child, it’s incredibly hard to remove your mind from the abuse that the person caused. Everything they say, everything they do reminds you of that abuse. That is exactly why this person is saying it’s a relief that her mother died. So if you are still living with your abuser, I highly recommend going no contact. And doing the therapy necessary to rebuild your confidence and your self love. Because you will not receive it from the abuser

  • @jennivee5621
    @jennivee5621 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    what a great interviewer! She asked very interesting questions. It was clear she actually did her homework and read the book instead of having some intern feed her bullet points. Also she respected her boundaries when Jennette clearly didn't wan't to answer the Dan Schneider question.Overall a very insightful conversation!

  • @haemusic1
    @haemusic1 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I'm so impressed with Jennette on so many levels. I am especially in love with her courage, growth and wisdom. The beauty in her which has been suppressed for so long due to her upbringing, is on full display now.

  • @jesshatchette
    @jesshatchette ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Girl, you stole my life story and my future book, and I’m here for it!!! Congratulations on your healing and breaking those chains of generational trauma! I cannot wait to read the book! 💜

  • @lilithrogers5204
    @lilithrogers5204 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Oh, what a deeply difficult life Jennette McCurdy has lived....and I admire her courage and strength to speak out. I thank you.

  • @PapaSmurf11182nd
    @PapaSmurf11182nd ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I gotta give a shoutout to the people in the comment section. There’s a lot of helpful, supportive, and constructive comments here that I haven’t seen as much of in any other video about Jennette’s memoir.

  • @sherrytaha9268
    @sherrytaha9268 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    A great interview with a very courageous, honest and articulate young woman. Thanks.

  • @Followmybliss777
    @Followmybliss777 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    I can’t wait until my mother dies. She’s an evil witch - abusive to the core. I understand you Jeanette 💖 the one person who’s supposed to love you is abusive - they deserve nothing from us. The grief of finally knowing you never had a real mother - it’s immense.

    • @velvet561
      @velvet561 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I'm sorry, i hope you can get away from her :(

    • @NCYogini
      @NCYogini ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I’m so sorry. That is a crushing reality.

    • @MadameRedd
      @MadameRedd ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm right there with you. I've been hoping, praying, and begging the universe to take her since I was 10 and I'm in my 50's now--The old bitch is still kicking and making people's lives miserable. I hear you!

    • @pinklov4447
      @pinklov4447 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      i feel the same towards my dad ❤ i hope u heal with time. wishing u the best.

    • @Jenboree
      @Jenboree ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I feel exactly the same about mine Justine

  • @jennleehatch
    @jennleehatch ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is the best interviewer I’ve seen interviewing JM on this book. So well done.

  • @tishwitch
    @tishwitch ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I remember when my therapist told me that it's OK not to love my mother. It took knowing it was OK for me to really accept how I feel about her. I understand the abuse dynamic and how it changes a person. It takes a lot of strength to realize that we don't have to respect people who don't respect us. I can appreciate how she recognized that her mother chose not to work on being a healthy mother. I understand. ❤️

    • @tishwitch
      @tishwitch ปีที่แล้ว +6

      And before anyone barks about mental health. Don't.
      I'm a mother. I have lots of complex trauma. I have BPD. I have anxiety disorders and dysthymia. But I got help. I went to therapy. I wake up every single day recognizing my limitations and I work very hard to be a healthy person, so that I can be a healthy mother. I had to choose to be healthier - people who don't make a choice to be unhealthy. Mental illness is complicated, but it's never without options. Every mental illness has treatment options.

  • @cozy46
    @cozy46 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    I was listening to her book on Audible last night for 4 hours straight. I got about half way through it.
    I cannot believe how sick and horrible her mother was but the sad thing is that in some ways, I can relate. Not nearly as bad but some things seemed similar.

  • @lauraholzler1417
    @lauraholzler1417 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    What an amazing woman! I will never look at her the same way again. You're not alone my dear. Some of us can really relate.

  • @FlavioMarceloSousa35
    @FlavioMarceloSousa35 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    God bless Jennette for writing this, parental abuse is a life sentence and still a major taboo.

  • @sgram0921
    @sgram0921 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Michel is such an amazing and thoughtful interviewer, you can tell she doesn't tip toe around her mom dying or her eating disorder and because of that you can tell that Jennette feels so much more comfortable talking to her than in a standard interview. Very well done, and congratulations on the fantastic book Jennette! ❤

  • @Wanderingnomad2829
    @Wanderingnomad2829 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    She’s got it together

  • @071949
    @071949 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I lost my wife Carol to congestive heart failure in February 2010, and my 25 year old daughter Jessica to a rare form of cancer 8 months later, in October 2010. Carol had serious mental health issues; Jessica had Aspergers. They had a very toxic relationship going back to when Jessie was very young. When Carol died my daughter told me that she could not cry because she did not have a single happy memory. Sad...

    • @galavillanueva6253
      @galavillanueva6253 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Im so sorry for your loss

    • @071949
      @071949 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@galavillanueva6253 Hi Gala, thank you for taking the time to comment, I appreciate it.

    • @Realalma
      @Realalma ปีที่แล้ว

      I have autism 1= Aspergers. My mother was a full blown malignant narcissist. She made my childhood and basically entire life completely destroyed. When she passed I was relieved.. not one tear because I had already mourned the loss of a mother I never had. You should have protected your daughter from her…. You enabled your daughters abuse by not standing up and supporting her. You are as toxic as your wife for allowing your daughter to be constantly abused knowing your wife was mentally ill. You daughter could not defend herself with her condition and god only knows what your wife did without your knowledge … you have no right to call yourself a father. Period.

    • @aFoxyFox.
      @aFoxyFox. ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@071949 So would you say, like the title of this book, that you're glad these two characters are dead and gone? What is your life like now, an opportunity for another great piece of writing Roger. Maybe you can write a book like this girl did, it might be very interesting and insightful, even if it is a piece of fiction you decide to write.

    • @071949
      @071949 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@Realalma Hi Realalma, Jessica was highly intelligent and articulate, and was not in fear of her mom. When she was not in school Jessica spent a lot of time at the library, staying away from home until I returned from work. On evenings and weekends we went together to the library and to Burger King, and often returned home late to minimize the amount of time Jessie had to be her mom's presence. Carol was not "abusive", and she never was violent. She had paranoia and schizophrenia,: talked about our apartment being under surveillance; she thought we were being watched and listened to; thought that certain songs on the radio were messages directed to her personally. When Jessie and her mom argued about one thing or another I told them both to calm down. Carol thought I should reprimand Jessie for talking back, but I did not, because I understood WHY she was.
      I stayed w/ Carol until the end because she was never physical, because I knew she could not cope on her own, and I did my best to keep the two apart as much as possible to the best of my ability. The last year of Jessica's life was spent in many radiation and chemo sessions, so we spent a lot of hours together. (Carol stayed at home.) Jessica was the light of my life, and not a day goes by that I do not miss her. About Carol, I wish she were alive and well in body and mind, and that she and Jessica were getting along well together.

  • @biancadesousa
    @biancadesousa ปีที่แล้ว +49

    she has sad eyes. even if she has healed and gone to therapy you can tell she's still always gonna carry that baggage.

  • @lohphat
    @lohphat ปีที่แล้ว +66

    Not every family is the Brady Bunch or Father Knows Best.
    I didn't hate my mom, but I could not speak to her for the last 7 years of her life. It wasn't healthy for either of us.
    Sometimes it's just better to separate. Just like divorce, staying together may be more damaging.
    My mom's smoking for 40 years and not listening to her doctors killed her. I'm not happy about it. I do miss her, but the person I loved stopped being that long before smoking took her.

    • @nejuw
      @nejuw ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Mean. Your poor Mother,

    • @lohphat
      @lohphat ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@nejuw You do not know our situation. AT ALL. You have ZERO insight into the dysfunction.
      Fine.
      Your relationship with your parents is YOURS, not mine. But do NOT project your experiences on us, as I have not on you.
      Have a nice day.

  • @ninamo3523
    @ninamo3523 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    So self-aware and eloquent.

  • @nycatlady2314
    @nycatlady2314 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Another informative and compassionate interview with Michel Martin.

  • @jennifergreco1403
    @jennifergreco1403 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I'm half way through this interview and I just want to express my appreciation for Jennettes inspiring way of sharing her story of healing.

  • @willperryman4559
    @willperryman4559 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    What a beautiful young woman now,after the decades of her lost life, she has done the work to heal, and I am beyond happy for her. I remember watching iCarly with my two youngster tweens, and how we loved the show, but especially the character Janette played. I’m definitely buying her book for my 22 year old daughter 🙏

  • @kalisederoche
    @kalisederoche ปีที่แล้ว +5

    i loved her book, i cannot stop thinking abt her story. i grew up watching icarly & was always comforted/compared to her character, and now i can see why as someone who faced parental abuse & eating disorders throughout childhood. im so glad we can know jennette more, her honesty has so much power!

  • @isabelle8836
    @isabelle8836 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    From reading her memoir about her mom crazy abuse, screaming controlling, hoarder. I don’t blame Jennette

    • @Kra-ri6fd
      @Kra-ri6fd ปีที่แล้ว

      Wow, her mom was a hoarder too?? Her mom sounds like my mom! I'm going to have to read this book.

  • @jackrosenfeld4713
    @jackrosenfeld4713 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Her character Sam was one of my favorites when I'm a little kid, and I was so heartbroken when I heard about this book and all of the behind-the-scenes abuse. I am so glad that Jennette came forward about her experiences, and it makes me appreciate and respect her so much more

  • @elizico
    @elizico ปีที่แล้ว +1

    amazing interview. the questions were all incredibly good and respectful, you can tell jannette appreciated each one the interviewer's questions. i enjoyed this a lot.

  • @robinchipman6746
    @robinchipman6746 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I've confronted and also have a parent who passed before I could grow up and confront so, for those of you out there reading this....confrontation rarely has the effect you fantasize it will. It's usually too much for the person you are confronting with the truth/your truth and never ends with a happy resolution.

  • @Poetic_Justice1962
    @Poetic_Justice1962 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    She always had her own personlity, because she still has it now, and I 'd call her personality sensitive, gentle and genuine.

  • @witneyskye5556
    @witneyskye5556 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This interviewer has class, empathy and sincerity. The story has not been sensationalized. The clear truth is powerful.

  • @Eve_Y
    @Eve_Y ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Now imagine having TWO moms like that. Reasons why I love her for speaking out.

  • @lizzybobizzy6208
    @lizzybobizzy6208 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This is one of the best interviews so far, I have yet to read the book but I can’t wait to get a copy.

  • @janswimwild
    @janswimwild ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Sensitive, articulate, intelligent and courageous. Thank you for a phenomenal interview! 🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️

  • @walpurgisnight7
    @walpurgisnight7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The care and empathy that this interviewer shows is phenomenal. Her tact must have been so refreshing for Jannette.

  • @pabletecornio
    @pabletecornio ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I really loved her from iCarly, even bought her first EP and debut album, and it’s so crazy to know get this information, I’m so happy that she’s happy and finally doing what she wants. Go Jennette, my copy is arriving next week!

  • @kurtjackberhalter1537
    @kurtjackberhalter1537 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    As a grown man,l would flip through the channels and Jennette was a brilliant performer. Her humor and delivery was impeccable. We only wish the best for her,and continued success in whatever endeavor she pursues. Brilliant woman,and great interview. Thank you!

  • @SethInNYC
    @SethInNYC ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This was a GREAT interview and the questions were perfection.

  • @JL1stepcloser
    @JL1stepcloser ปีที่แล้ว +1

    She's so brave, i mean writing her story and hardships to help people that maybe are facing things like that with their parents or family... new generations that want to be actors or singers with her story they will open their eyes in different ways, she's a very strong and brave woman, impressive, i wish her the best.

  • @bridiemacdonald9436
    @bridiemacdonald9436 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    What a great interview - great questions and honest helpful sharing.

  • @jasminepena2940
    @jasminepena2940 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    her book was amazing and so freakin moving. so amazing. she’s great

  • @ursulac.2952
    @ursulac.2952 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I love this interviewer! Have her on more.

  • @SEH221
    @SEH221 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    That was a complicated final question. One that, if I were in her shoes, I don't know if I'd have the grace to answer in the same way she did. Props to Jeanette for this book and its power, I really recommend it to those who haven't picked it up yet.

  • @xtw1995
    @xtw1995 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    this was such a good interview.. i found myself riveted with their conversation. kudos to the interviewer and congrats to Jennette! love reading the book so far! she’s a great writer

  • @chrissmith8810
    @chrissmith8810 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I could just tell as the show went on The tone of her voice she was tired of a lot of things and fed up but she definitely made the show better❤️

  • @Mscursed2
    @Mscursed2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    What a great interview

  • @LoverOfTheHypothetical
    @LoverOfTheHypothetical ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is such an amazing interview! The interviewer asks deep questions that excite Janette! I can’t wait to read this book!

  • @palavergirl7450
    @palavergirl7450 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    What a great piece. This is so important to hear from a clearly very introspective woman. She sought help bc she figured out something is amiss. This is a caution tale for all parents myself included. Your kids are not you. Yet can still feel her love for her mom even knowing there was a problem. Glad to have seen this piece.

    • @Kra-ri6fd
      @Kra-ri6fd ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I remember that moment in my life where I said to my sister, "something is wrong with mom". Eventually I found out also that it was mental illness and it wasn't healthy for me to have a relationship with her since she wouldn't get treatment or acknowledge something was wrong.

  • @dapsolita
    @dapsolita ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is an outstanding interview. Both are refreshingly candid.
    As a child abuse survivor, I have so much appreciation that we as a society are finally pulling back the rug on this. Thank you thank you💗💗

  • @swimmerstevieg
    @swimmerstevieg ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is a wonderful interview thank you! My hero on the show!

  • @squiliamfancyson3702
    @squiliamfancyson3702 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was an amazing interview! Omg

  • @stregalilith
    @stregalilith ปีที่แล้ว

    I love that, blunt as it is, Jennette's story is so truthful it has inspired others to come forth and have their pain recognized. In fact I was relieved when my own mother--someone who never should have had children--passed away finally at age 104!

  • @JadeWestTristan
    @JadeWestTristan ปีที่แล้ว +5

    A solid interview I think the interviewer actually read the book n educated herself on it I'm so glad jennetes book is so successful

  • @ExplorewithSetro
    @ExplorewithSetro ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Man I had the hugest celeberity crush on her when I was really young, im saddened to find all this out. I hope you are healing and life is getting brighter for you ❤️

  • @maddsc8840
    @maddsc8840 ปีที่แล้ว

    wow this is definitely one of my favorite interviews it’s Mccurdy abt her book, the interviewer did such an amazing job with not only their questions but their understanding and articulation of the book.

  • @Kay----
    @Kay---- ปีที่แล้ว

    Always loved her. So much respect for her! It takes guts to be this honest. Wishing you health and happiness Jennette ❤

  • @jasminevasquez8831
    @jasminevasquez8831 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I have been watching the interviews Jeannette has done for this book and the DRASTIC difference between all of those interviews is amazing! I noticed the difference between interviewers that they themselves have done the internal work for themselves to better themselves and those who have not. One of my favorite interviews!!

  • @joyhaig1286
    @joyhaig1286 ปีที่แล้ว

    I’ve been estranged from my mom for the last 25 years and I completely emphasize with Jennette, similar parallels with my own mother. She insisted I share the same bed with her until I turned 16 and stood up for myself. My heart goes out to all survivors of parental abuse and know your not alone ❤️

  • @kellystevens203
    @kellystevens203 ปีที่แล้ว

    Just read her book a few days ago and I am awed by the painful cards that life dealt her in so many ways. She put in long, hard work to create her own identity and I have all the respect in the world for her ❤️

  • @Peem_pom
    @Peem_pom ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Props to Jeanette and props to this compassionate empathetic interviewer

  • @Nikki-d12442
    @Nikki-d12442 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I get it ! I feel THAT TITLE 👍I’ve said that same thing about my mother

  • @witneyskye5556
    @witneyskye5556 ปีที่แล้ว

    Sending hugs, love and much admiration for your honesty. ❤

  • @sarahh4458
    @sarahh4458 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "I'm glad my mom died"... thank you for saying this, especially highlighting "parental abuse". Some people who have not experienced this background, are extremely judgemental, even after explaining to them of the abuse experienced!

  • @hibiscus752
    @hibiscus752 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This was a really good interview!

  • @MADEbySOUL
    @MADEbySOUL ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Michel Martin's thought provoking questions, reflects her reading the material. This is an interviewer who didn't just take the "shocking" parts of the book but actually took a second to reflect on what McCurdy lived and wrote. Memoirs have become more common for younger people to write but McCurdy's had to come out now. Not only because of the society and legal normalization of treating child actors but because of the inner work McCurdy has done. Once again, McCurdy blew me away with how well she explains her trauma.

  • @cindybaez9966
    @cindybaez9966 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I hardly comment on YT videos but wow, great interview! Michel Martin was very empathetic and asked great follow up Q's.

  • @monstersunder
    @monstersunder ปีที่แล้ว

    It's beautiful to see so much healing!