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What is the Worst Personality Disorder of all Ten Personality Disorders?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 ธ.ค. 2018
- This video attempts to answer the question: What the worst personality disorder of the ten personality disorders This is a very challenging question because it's highly subjective, but I'm going try to answer the question in a roundabout way.
I start with the Cluster A personality disorders (odd, eccentric), move to Cluster B (dramatic, erratic) and then review the Cluster C personality disorder (anxious, fearful). Cluster A includes paranoid personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, and schizotypal personality disorder. Cluster B includes antisocial personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and histrionic personality disorder. Cluster C includes avoidant personality disorder, dependent personality disorder, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.
One thing is for sure: You are not a fake. Your explanations are grounded in sound academic education and clinical experience. Your presentation is well-organized and clearly presented. It is a pleasure to watch someone who is providing this information for those who want to learn about the subject. May God bless you for your service to humanity.
👍💫 @psych Corp
@XWriter100 LOL
Yes, he is! I'm in private practice as a family therapist for 10 years and Dr. grande is my go to guy for making complex to simple.
Psych Corp couldn’t agree more- He explained ocpd better than my 225.00 an hour psychologist. He makes being diagnosed w a disorder not the end of the world- he gives hope
@@annemarson4144 I'm doubting you got the joke now.
...the one that you are dealing with.
cluster b's >
Now that's funny!!
Thanks for saving me 25 minutes.
smart
Oh my god. Im all of the above with a few i invented.
Recovering BPD and it is hell to live with, especially when you begin to heal and realize the damage you did to yourself and others. My heart goes out to everyone who deals with personality disorders and don’t have the means to heal or seek help.
Yup! I only recently realized that my problems are a good possibility for bpd only because a counselor at my out patient gave me the name of a book she recommended i read and it was called understanding the borderline…I was stunned at how my life has been one constant struggle after another and just thinking that I’m different and something us wrong with me because the abusive narcissists that told me that! I can’t afford a decent dbt therapist I’ve tried looking for one…. People just think I’m crazy and a stalker! It’s humiliating because of my abandonment issues and emotional impulsivity
Keep working hard at it. We are here to support you
@@Not-the-usual-BS Oh I feel for you Tracy. I bought the BPD workbook it helps. Keep trying.
It's good awful like a life sentence
Good for you for being able to recognize this!! The borderline person in my life seems to have absolutely zero ability to see any wrongs she has done to anyone (which is so much) and sees herself as the victim in everything. I once cared to try, but I do not anymore. I really sympathize for anyone in pain, and I understand this disorder causes a lot of pain, and for that I feel sorry for anyone dealing with it! I just wish some could see though. So it’s very refreshing to hear when one does. Please do not beat yourself up though 🙏🙏 just taking accountability is everything.
Narcisisstic is the worst. Being a victim to someone who is never wrong, will never admit they were wrong, will never apologize, will act one way around certain people and around you, but differently when you're all together, will gaslight, be verbally abusive and emotionally abusive, and sometimes physically abusive and there's nothing you can do about it except stay away, which is rather quite difficult emotionally when you previously had a connection with them until something changed. It's tough knowing there is someone in your life who is supposed to be supportive and loving, and quite probably at some point in time was, but now no longer is.
What about Antisocial pd. The primary psychopath type mixed with secondary psychopath. When added to BPD you have a volatile mixture.
@@birdlover6842 there’s nothing wrong here 😼
Narcissist, ain’t the worst 😂😂 yous must be dumber
I think he was talking about which disorder is the worst for the person with the disorder, not for the people around them.
@@TH-camWatcher9000 THIS. 'Victims' of Narcs only become victims once they are discarded. When they are not, they are the biggest flying monkey around that allows the Narc they are propping up to wreck havoc.
I'd be this person is either an ex partner/lover/spouse by and large. Most of us can smell these azzes a mile off and stay AWAY from them, so you ask yourself why you find it attractive to be close to a person that is clearly egotistical and lacks empathy.
As far as the patient goes, narcisstic may be low on the list but to the victims of a narcisstic person, they would rate it much much higher.
Yes. The worst! I speak from experience. 🙂
Cute pup 💗💗💗
I’ll say!
5 yrs of covert narcissitic abuse but it was self-education from videos like this (shout out to Dr Ramani, too!) that helped me dig myself out of that hole. That and going through some intense therapy. I’m much more discerning of people now but every now and again, the sting from being with a covert narcissist still haunts me.
Especially when they are your parent...
@@pleaseenteranamelol711 My mother was one. Every man wants to love his mother. In the end a narcissistic mother will take that too away.
Definitive Answer: The worst personality disorder is the one you have to deal with. ❤️ Love Your work! 🙏 🍎
It can be brutal, depending on the situation.
Very fair point.
I always wanted to have schizoid personality disorder. It has the perks of being a psychopath but without malicious intent lol
You definitely have a great sense of humor. and your answer wins hands down.
The answers are too good, I enjoy commenting
Love the professionalism and the fact you didn't demonize any of them.
Very clear presentation, which isn't easy! I absolutely agree that the borderline personality is the most difficult, especially when it is combined with antisocial and/or narssistic traits. Thanks for sharing your extensive experience with us.
I have borderline and I want to say, I’ve been going to therapy and psychiatry for years now. I take medicine and I do weekly therapy. Both of my mental health clinicians say that I have a great prognosis. My therapist said I’m the most positively progressed of all of her patients! If clinicians believe in us, we can make it in life! We don’t want to suffer and when clinicians reject us, it feeds the disorder. Fellow borderlines, we can get better in life. Put in the work and find a clinician who will help you.
I work almost solely with people who have BPD. Progression happens very differently for different people, but it is WONDERFUL for the person, for me, AND for their friends and family when a client does make progress. THey work so hard, and over time, it really shows.
DBT was the first therapy that made sense to me. When I was shown it , it was a relief. That's how my brain works. I've done intensive group therapy and it has helped greatly over the years to manage it.
Yes! I have actually been discouraged from therapy for years because either people don't call me back when I try to get an appointment or they end up not contacting me for other appointments and then I just kind of give up
@@twistedalicemcgee that's so frustrating! What state are you in? (don't give more specific info)
@@ms16648 People with BPD actually do best in stable, validating relationships. I have seen it work. Usually, though, it is necessary for the person with BPD to be in therapy (not basic talk-therapy, but DBT or another highly structured therapy), and the partner ALSO needs to be intensely educated on how to do well in a relationship with someone who has high emotional reactivity and other symptoms. Again, DBT can help with the Friends and Family course.
4:09 Paranoid PD
5:30 Schizoid PD
7:24 Schizotypal PD
8:42 Antisocial PD
10:29 Narcissistic PD
13:02 Borderline PD
14:59 Histrionic PD
16:23 Avoidant PD
17:57 Dependent PD
19:42 Obsessive-compulsive PD
Thanks :)
Which one is the worst
Thank you! 😁
@@JA-eq5um im guessing OCD cuz howie mandel is pretty distressed lol
God's work!
My partner has BPD. I have always regarded myself as an empathetic person but the stress I get with him is beyond I can deal with. To others he would seem as a very helpful, simple, innocent man who cannot say ' no'. That is what attracted me towards him too. He often shed tears and talks sympathetic about everything but down the core he is a different person.
Very immature, very impulsive, insecure and aggressive. We quarrel at least three times a week. I understood his real self only after 1 year of living with him. By that time we had a son and he can't even control his aggression towards him. He has poor parental skills and is spoiling my child. I understand that he has this constant fear of loosing me and my son and that freaks him out. I want to help him but this is driving me nuts and I am loosing myself having to go through all of this for the last four years
My wife put up with it for 20 years. Her and the kids are happy to be free of me.
It’s crucial that he
1) recognises that he has a problem
2) gets a therapist.
3) believes that he can do it.
It’s almost universal for people who suffer from BPD to seek help only from their partner or close relatives/friends. And I’m telling you right now, you can’t help him. You are way too emotionally involved plus you don’t have skills of a therapist. You can support him, get educated about BPD in depth, go to therapy yourself to help you learn coping strategies and maybe have a couples therapy together with him as well.
But you can’t be his therapist.
I’m telling you this from a long experience with my own BPD , my marriage of 20 years ( plus previous relationships) and having a child.
I’m 46 now and have it under control for 90%.
It can be done, it can be helped. He can have a great life, but it takes serious desire to stop suffering and to stop causing the loved ones utter misery. ( especially now that there’s yours and his child involved).
My mom had untreated BPD and it’s so bloody scary it can and probably will scar you for life.
Anger management is the most important first step in my opinion. Because that’s really really scary.
I wish you all 3 of you the best.
But just remember, you’re not responsible for him. You’re not his mother. You’re your childs mother.
Big hug 🤗
Walk away, your life and sanity depend on it.
@@jamezbrian4135 Thank God she left for her own sanity.
How is he spoiling your son? Wouldn't the statement be he's spoiling our son? Have you ever considered the fact that maybe just maybe he's experiencing these people pleasing behaviors because you give the impression you want him out? Just a thought.
I was diagnosed with Borderline a couple years ago. When I was active in my alcoholism, the bouts of rage would be uncontrollable. My drinking catapulted my BPD into full effect. Today I go to the gym regularly, recognize my emotions when I can and try to deal with them appropriately (being honest with myself and others is paramount). Now a days, opposed to the anger and rage, I usually feel relief after a good cry. Grateful to learn about myself slowly, everyday and not be so destructive. Thank you Dr. Grande.
If everyone spoke to me in this calm and reasoned manner I probably wouldn't be so anxious.
Exactly how I feel.
He has a calming nature. The world could certainly use more of that!
Exactly 😢 we all need a therapist in a world full of crazies who don’t even know it
But where is his sense of humor? I can’t imagine him even smiling.
I wouldn’t date such a dour man, but I would hire him and pay him well.
@@lisaschuster9187 He makes occasional dry little quips. Most of his videos are on pretty serious topics though.
In my experience, a parent with covert narcissistic personality disorder can wreak havoc in a family. The children in a family controlled by a person with covert narcissistic personality disorder end up with many personality problems of their own. For example: I have never trusted my own judgement, have issues with self care, always think that others and the opinions of others are more important than my own. I have wrenched myself free of some of that, but I am still a nervous and anxious person with an extreme startle reflex and guilt if I set boundaries. Thank you.
Your speaking my language
Mary Riley Hi Mary I myself am a black sheep of the family and I was always a no good and a looser in my family. I was also a parent’s parent, a pleaser, a caregiver and reliable doormat, slut, a muse and entertainer in my narcissistic family unit. I am now a happy person yet every so often I feel a little insecure and can be overly responsible. As a child my family would tip toe and cater to the narcissist. It did not matter what I did my family always sees me as inferior.
I understand so well. My father has covert narcissism with a very violent outburst followed by a victim mode. He is so controlling, it is terrifying. All three of us kids decided to move to other countries to get away from him. I live in Spain, my sister in the UK and my brother in Taiwan. None of us speak to each other because the only thing we have in common is the traumatic memories of our childhood. I am terrified of everything, I even jump if someone addresses me before I can see them. He has turned my life into a horror from which I desperately try to escape every day. And then I feel guilty about it! I so get what you are saying. It is like living with a monster in the closet of your mind.
I agree with you,
Me tooooo.
If I had a long lost twin sister... peace to you fellow human!
Narcissism is the worst. Recently I had one steal money from me and my other colleague at work - and guess what, she still managed to manipulate her way to keeping the job and two of us are no longer working. The only thing that comforts me is that she'll show her true colors eventually and they'll realize their mistake.
I do find it dishartening that most people today are not ok, we've all turned into mere survivalists and competitors and humanity is almost completely gone out of most people. Before, it was rare to encounter a selfish and extreme manipulator, most people were average types with minor human flaws, but today you encounter them on every corner and if you don't have good skills to deal with them you're scre*ed.
EDIT: I went to collect my payment and found out she was fired because she continued stealing right after I left (this time from the receptionist). I was offered to come back to work, but no way - broken trust can never be retained.
I knew she would show her true colors eventually, but I didn't expect she would do it so soon - she wasn't even smart enough to wait for dust to settle but just continued to steal. I guess I overestimated her - she was such a good actor and manipulator that I thought she had above average IQ.
But seriously, I met all kinds of people, but never this type before. She is completely callous, not just the theft, but her overall behavior. Just the thought of her psycho appearance gives me the chills, ugh. I hope I never meet her again.
Anyway, sorry everyone, I had to vent somewhere, this was such an awful experience, lol.
Narcissist are straight from the pits of hell🎯
This sounds more like ASPD with psychopathic features (though NPD is a common comorbidity to this); you met some kind of psychopath. The combination of manipulation, callousness and criminality is a dead giveaway; these are traits on the PCL-R.
all the best for you and never, we all hope, never you have to encounter this stealing person anymore. all the best for you
Blake the internet. It is feeding narcissists to the max.
You’re so knowledgeable in your field and a great teacher as well, who is able to relay complex constructs in a relatable, easy to understand manner to the layperson. Thank you so much for your awesome videos and work, Dr. Grande!
For the victim of the abuse, malignant narcissist personality disorder has gotta be one of the worst for collateral damage served up by the unhealthy demented soul.
I have experienced both malignant narcissist and borderline, and borderline is by far worse than narcissist. Here is the best description: They love without measure those they will soon hate without reason. The discard with the borderline was cruel and vindictive, the discard with the narcissist paled in comparison. Both were very charismatic, both at times you felt you were in the presence of real evil, and both when crossed were demonic, I would add that a serial killer would be the only thing that would compare, but have not dated one of those yet, everything else but. My therapist described it as "emotional violence" I concur.
@@charmee4045 what?
@@charmee4045 Okay? Please don't generally describe people like that unless they're very specific people in your life.
@@charmee4045 BPD is not worse than a malignant narcissist
@@charmee4045 a sociopath a psychopath and am malignant narcissists is 10xs worse than a BPD
My father is a classic Narcissistic. Like he has all the text book symptoms. And he literally ruined the lives of my brother and myself. He ruined any chance we ever had for productive lives due to his verbal, psychological, and physical abuse. He is still the same person at the age of 66 and hasn't changed at all. I had to remove him from my life over a decade ago.
You are not alone. God bless
I’ve just had to remove my mother after 53 years.
Went through this as well. Better off however I feel some of those traits rubbed off on me.
My mother was the same. She was just as narcissistic and controlling the day she died as she was 30 years earlier. Everything revolved around keeping her happy. Everything.
@@HeadStronger-HS Me too. I worry I am too self-absorbed sometimes and people close to me may feel their needs are being ignored. The difficult part is I have cancer and so I am trying to practice self-care without neglecting others. It's difficult. I''m seeking therapy though. I figure if I can deal with this now. I have a better chance of surviving. I think my abusive and 'horrific' (as my doctor described it) childhood has a lot to do with my developing cancer. The mind and the body are much more connected than initially believed.
I have bpd and you nailed it. It comes out most at work and in my relationship too. The rage and irritation are or can be horriblw. I'm in therapy and I'm also alcoholic and addict in AA and the programs principles and steps have helped alot. I listen to worship music too anytime I'm going to the store or busy times at work because it helps to focus on it and not the people around me and trying to relate to things they do which usually sets me off even if it isn't actually affecting me personally. I rage totally out of proportion to what is going on almost every time if I don't find a focus like God and the music to keep my headspace even. I'm loving your channel
. Good work. Keep it going.
Best wishes to you.
I have BPD. I feel like my life has been stolen from me. When I look back to my 45 years of life, I couldn’t understand what is wrong with me. Why am I impulsive? Why am the most overweight person in my huge family from both sides? Why do I give money to men so they can like me. Why do I depend so much on peoples validation? Why do I talk too much even to strangers about things that are private? Why when someone close to me hurts me I can’t ever let it go? I remember at school I was a a star student because I was so scared of my mother and my teachers so I always did my best over the top to please them. I lived for compliments. Then when I was a teenager I started to do strange thing in class. Like I would lay my head on the table for no reason and no matter how much the teacher told me off or tried to get me to sit up I would fully ignore her. Even my class mates used to find it strange. I used to also sit at the back of the classroom myself and I would force myself to find something funny and I would laugh so hard for no reason just like the “joker” and my teacher used to say “just ignore her she wants attention”
I really didn’t want attention. I don’t know why I behaved like that.
Then coming toward my 40s I started withdrawing. I also developed really hard anger rages. It’s become worse. When I go out and come back home I would have at least had 2/3 arguments filled with rage weather I’m at the doctor, supermarket and even in my dreams.
The angry rages are the worst. I started documenting them and I was more upset . Why do I get sooooo angry and personal if the receptionist ignores me?
The “worst” PD is the one you (or your loved one) have.
(Damn it, you made me laugh! I'm trying to be serious here!! :-D )
@@lizatanzawa7910 you mean my other comment?
I was about to say that schizotypal was the worst because I have it, but I guess you beat me to the punch.
That’s exactly what I think too!
Quite true and makes perfect sense, given that each person's life is centered around himself
Recovering Schizotypal, here! Really, I still love magical thinking and am stubbornly proud of my unusual perceptions even though they are useless half of the time. But what I'm happy to be mostly rid of is the repeated thought, "They're all AGAINST ME!" which was the hallmark of my adolescence and half of my childhood.
YES! Fellow schizotypal and I also love the way I see the world. My perspective, my beliefs, and the strange bordering delusional hope that I have is actually what keeps me going. I’m scared to even imagine what life would be like without it. However never being able to trust anyone and always being on guard does have its downsides..... lol
@@elizabethgrey6040 Meditation might help. Actually, I think the magical thinking is part of an openness of attention to both imaginative and sensorial capacities. As I learn meditation with the Headspace app, I found myself quickly cognizant of trippy stuff going on under the surface of my mind, and I think enlightenment experiences might be more within reach for us to find than the average person because of our openness to experience. At the same time, meditation can help me step back from anxious situations and learn to evaluate what is in and in front of and around me with more time and space and calm.
@@Yamikaiba123 I find structured meditation doesn’t work for me personally but I’m glad it does for you! I get my mindfulness through art, crafts, peaceful walks, petting my pets etc. I definitely relate to the whole “more open to enlightenment” thing. I’m an eclectic Gnostic and I believe I can communicate with gods and know the secrets of the universe lol. Obviously I’m no genius, but I think schizotypals are able to become in touch with the esoteric and supernatural a lot better than many others. You’re totally right about that.
@@elizabethgrey6040 Andy is a good teacher. Most of learning meditation is starting from a point of not thinking that we are good at it, and learning the many ways we have unnecessary expectations of ourselves or preconceived notions that act as obstacles, and to be easier on ourselves. Most of the issues that turn people off from meditation, we've all experienced. So experienced teachers have as well, and have instructed plenty of students in how to easily or patiently overcome them.
@@elizabethgrey6040 Sorry if my answer sounds condescending. I'd like to be encouraging.
I'm glad you have many activities that you're able to approach mindfully. Most people I know only have one favourite activity that they can be entirely immersed in or present for!
It is a personal choice. Everyone has suffered from mental stress and anxiety. Because we are bound to our personal experiences our personal experiences seems worse than others. I believe everyone's experiences are equal. I have suffered from mental health problems and went to groups and everyone say the same thing, their suffering is worse than others. It's because they lack knowledge of others suffering. That's why we have group counseling, to teach awareness and support each other. It's my favourite part of mental health services. I love people so I want to be social so I can be aware of my environment. It helps me to not be selfish and deal with my own difficulties. I am mindful because of the group counseling I engaged in. I am very grateful for mental health. They helped me build my future and ability to live on my own with assistance of course. 👍☺️❣️
I have Borderline, and it is hell to live with. Everyone thinks we lack empathy. I have so much empathy it hurts, it causes me a lot of hurt. The hurt then has me lash out. HOWEVER, I have been in treatment, gone to therapy, etc and it does get better. Please, for anyone with any personality disorder, do not give up. I have PTSD too, which amplified everything, but it does all get better. Keep going.
EDIT: Ya'll are spreading the stigma, and it is sad. Some of your comments are lame. I am not longer classified as Borderline, and this can be anyone if you put in hard work and work on it every day. My PTSD is better, too. It really does get better.
@@stephanielegg6210 Thank you.
Thank you
Praying 🙏🏽
Needed to hear this, thank you! I hope everything's still getting better for you
I have firsthand experience with two borderlines. My question is #1 why do you hurt people to get a reaction out of them to reinforce feelings that you are loved and cared for and to ask #2 why you can't see that process happening and break the cycle via cognitive behavioral therapy. My intention is to learn from your pov not to insult. Both borderlines i have interacted with have comorbid disorders so it is unnecessary to feel offended since its hard to nail down what is the borderline versus comprbid disorders vs the individuals life experiences and personality.
I have a family member with BPD and I am finding it hard to have a relationship with her as she not only triggers my PTSD but also takes me back to my childhood as I believe my mum has the same. Being brought up with parents with issues really hinders the ability to cope with and manage others with similar disorders. She takes me right back to that meek little girl that I've worked so hard to not be anymore.
It’s been a while and I’m not a clinician but I just want to say there was nothing wrong with that meek little girl and nothing wrong with you now for having a hard time dealing with your family member. Anyone would have a hard time with this.
A "blamer" is a type of personality disorder.
@@taralamppa6529 What type?
Set healthy boundaries for yourself. My BFF has it. I don't tell her but I make sure phone conversation only last ten minutes. Otherwise she starts drama. Yes, I timed her, with out fall she will even make up crap to upset me. Once she said her brother died. I was so upset with her, crying together. Than after 20 minutes I asked what happened to cause his death. She answered i don't know just won't answer his phone. Then she stopped crying and laughed. Wtf
Sure it's not you? Good luck
I would agree that BPD is arguably one of the most complicated and difficult disorders affecting all areas of life.
It’s kind of a kitchen sink...
Oh God... BPD, that is what I have in addition to the comorbidity factors which I'm not even going to get into but I feel like I'm dying. I've listened to the explanations and the insights and yes, I think it's effecting and penetrating all realms of my life and sucking every atom out of my entire being.
BPD is like antisocial for women, and like in the rest of life Women get sympathy while destroying others while men get hatred
Sure is
God is it....I struggle basically almost everyday.....I will make it though....I will conquer this.
i have BPD, and it's just fucking constant hell. i'm completely unable to function, at least at this moment in my life. i really hope my brain gets worn out when i get middle-aged so i can start living, if i even stay alive for another 20 years, which seems pretty unlikely to me tbh
So true! If others spoke to me in such a calming voice as you dr G. With no JUDGEMENT. I would probably "stay calm & carry on". Its a learning process! Blessings. ❤
Anytime a lack of
Empathy and conscience is the problem- that is the worst!
Add no remorse
Well said!!!
@@Rose-ez2fm no remorse falls within no conscience.
As someone who can't feel either I strongly disagree. We are intelligent enough to judge that our actions might be harmful and to be capable of changing our behavior - emotions such as guilt and empathy are mere means to guide that realization. Besides, it makes us capable of reasoning logically without the interference of emotions, and since your emotions have guided you to the unreasonable conclusion that we are "the worst" simply because our brains are wired differently, that is an obvious advantage.
I’d agree
Borderline Personality Disorder was extremely difficult to help in a clinical setting, very frustrating, taxing to caregivers to help. However, in the real world, Narcissistic Personality Disorder I see all the time and is very destructive to fellow co-workers, highly stressful to deal with, toxic indivuduals.
I've seen many professionals want to hide under their desks from new BPD's in treatment settings. They are difficult... Consistency, consistency, consistency. It's hard not to get sucked in with their abandonment issues.
@@jeffwylie5899 And that unwillingness to help only adds to the reluctance for people with BPD have to seek help.
@@jeffwylie5899 Sounds Not Very Professional!
@@ameliadavis1979 Really? Therapists and doctors are human too, and it can't be easy dealing with complicated people. I don't think it is unprofessional to feel exasperated by a patient. Now, if they are LITERALLY hiding under the desk, that's different, haha.
nope. it's extremely unprofessional. and they aren't THAT difficult. Iggy's an exaggeration. the problem is that the professionals dont really seem to want to try to help a lot of the time - go back and read that comment again. There are also many articles about this, and how it happens. most would rather give up on these worthless "professionals" a lot of these people even cause emotional harm@@snu3877
Paranoia, anxiety and depression have ruined me! Like an OCD suffering I can't control. My shrink diagnosed me with aspergers! I don't believe it! But I'm praying for peace ! Constant doom! I'm so worn down I can't explain! I used to rely on physical strength but all gone. I force myself ( work you bastard) take a teaspoon of cement and harden up!!! I need a concrete truck! Why do I tear up and feel like crying? My father and brother always said: real men don't cry? Now at 48 I struggle to relate to people, relax, constant fear! I'm an emotional wreck! I have contemplated suicide a number of times! My youngest autistic son is literally the only reason I'm here! I have been to so many counsellors! I'm going crazy with guilt. Constant guilt! Maybe a .44 magnum? I'm over this whole world and I'm praying constantly but I sin and the guilt???? Any reply appreciated! Cheers from Australia! I feel like I have PTSD? But I don't.
Borderline for sure, its so devastating and raw and those rage attacks are very scary 😦 everyone who dealt with an aggressive BPD knows what pain they can inflict on themselves and against their loved ones
100 percent agree. They have enough emotion to keep sucking you back in/have hope. It's really sick.
I have been dealing with this from my fiancé for the last 2 years. He was diagnosed first with bipolar but in all actuality he has BPD. Scary isn’t the word to describe how he gets. I’ve tried to walk away so many times but when you love someone, something makes you stay.
@@Ashley-vq9xeyou’re not a professional so stop trying to diagnose people
@@Ashley-vq9xeif he is like this now qnd you're not married it might be the time to go and save your health. Can't tell you what to do. But when someone may harm you it may be time to love them but also leave.
Maybe Dr Grande could do a video on what a healthy personality looks like. That would enlightening.
In the meantime, perhaps he could do personality studies of all Presidents since Bush Sr. up to the current President.
Yeah right, props to you for mentioning that !
Good idea.
@Sarah Nyb that's what I was thinking 😂
Kirstin Strand nobody is perfect....specially in this times...just look all the divorces....
This was so long ago, I barely remember the context of the video. Typically, I like this PhD doc and was surprised at his interpretation on this particular vid. What's the beef? You all Trumpees?
And what does divorce have to do with anything; it's so common.
I really appreciate how you explain how these personalities would look in the real world rather than just what the DSM explains.
I vote for AVPD as the worst disorder to have. The mental and emotional distress of deeply desiring to have a normal life and relationships while being completely unable to do so, and not understanding why and blaming yourself for it, is something that I would not wish upon my worst enemy. I think Narcissism is the worst disorder in terms of the harm that they cause others.
As an avoidant i can agree
It's important to note that AvPD is often comorbid to BPD which I believe is the most difficult PD to treat and deal with. (I have AvPD myself)
I recently spoke to a therapist and learned that what I thought was regular shyness and anxiety was actually AVPD. I've been having trouble trying to come to terms with that and not feel like I'm just broken.
You are not broken, you might be shy, but if you avoid most that you really wants in life, you will have to fokus on challenge some of your avoidant traits. And or accept some, depends on what makes you thrive I guess.
I also have AVPD and I know is a really hard struggle against the fear of shame and low SELF-ESTEEM. I lasted many years to realiza I had this but in the last year and I have done significant progress and I have become less avoidant. So if you want someone to talk and who can advise and support you, you can count with me. I know is extremely difficult to think that we can't handle this (in fact is one of the symptoms of AVPD) but I am really sure you will be capable to get through this.
Aye also avpd here. It sucks. But ya just gotta try anyway. It's hard AF. Pushing through but this is gonna be a practice thing. I still struggle with it especially when trying to date. I always feel awful dating. It's never really a pleasurable experience 😅 it's always challenging
BPD is the worst because it is C-PTSD, ADD, depression, bipolar, anxiety, a lifetime of bad relationships with covert narcissists, thousands of impulsive decisions and regrets, constant suicidal thoughts all wrapped into one hellish nightmare of a life...all the while precariously walking on the borderline of what thoughts are true and which ones are just imagined. Thank you Dr. Grande for this channel and for helping me better understand myself, my family and all of my relationships.
Nah its great. Just look at this like this: wtf I am doing the whole time and who cares when I dont even care🤷♂️😂
This is so true.
but imagine hearing voices and seeing things that are unreal
BPD is definitely the worst. It leads you to destroy all relationships while the person with it just longs to be loved. It’s the worst catch 22 ever.
Ugh I've made sooooooo many absolutely stupid life changing decisions in the spur of the moment. I had everything but add alcohol to BPD and watch everything
fall to peices. Guilt guilt guilt is what I have all night and anxiety all day. Ups and downs of course. The ups are great but the downs... obviously not so much.
I really appreciate your approach- logical and trying to see all angles/sides without sensationalizing. Thank you for your channel!
Well since he’s a doctor - what else would you expect? This is Medical training your hearing, not “arm chair” diagnosis.
@@kgolem79 I didn't think he was a medical doctor.
That’s exactly it ...”without sensationalizing”! Almost everything here in the tube is so clickbaity it’s so refreshing to watch someone who just relays facts and data straight up.
@@SarahAnnBellham Psychiatrists are absolutely medical doctors. They are required to complete medical school and an additional four year residency in their chosen speciality just like any other physician (& there are different specialties within psychiatry as well). That doesn't mean you would want a psychiatrist preforming open heart surgery, just as you probably wouldn't want a neurologist in charge of your rectal exam. That being said, due to their medical training, it would definitely be preferable to have either around in an emergency situation than not.
On the other hand, psychologists go through extensive schooling & training but are not medical doctors. They typically work in conjunction with psychiatrists, who can prescribe medications, to help with diagnoses, therapies, & other forms of treatment. (Sorry for the super long response 🙂)
@@laynicarter I know psychiatrists are medical doctors. I work in a teaching hospital. I didn't realize he had a medical degree.
I am starting to think there might not be any "normal" people on this planet...so that clearly includes me.🤦♀️ Agreed...the disorder we have to deal with/suffering from is the WORST! The one thing I really appreciate is that you don't dramatize anything. Zero judgment and you create a sense that all this crap can be managed if that's the route chosen. Thank you 🙏and bless you
YES. MUST BE A FACT. IT IS THE ADJUSTMENTS ACQUIRED AND REQUIRED TO PARTICIPATE WITHIN HUMANITY. WITH SORROW AND REALITY, THERE IS MUCH AND SUCH SEVERE DAMAGES FROM ENTERTAINMENT AND THE MULTITUDES OF DECLINING ATTEMPTS OF GOODNESS DROWNING IN THE BRUTALITY OF THE DESTRUCTIVE AND BIZARRE DEMAND UPON SOCIETY TO ACCEPT ABSURDLY, DEVASTATING "FREEDOMS" OF HISTORIC. CULTURES THAT ROTTED AWAY. SADLY, SO WHAT'S NEW???
@@paulcritchfield9825 I agree. There is much sorrow & pain. I appreciate your reply
I was wrongfully diagnosed with BPD! I really have PTSD! Spent years with that awful diagnosis! Was discriminated against and wasn't taken seriously. Glad I was diagnosed right in the 90s. People think your a killer with at diagnosis. I also think they freely diagnose people too often.
Odd how amost every person who goes to Community Mental Health is bi polar.
I wish AVPD was taken more seriously for how crippling it can be. It has made almost all areas of my life so difficult and exhausting.
I have traits of that disorder and yes it makes simple things feel like climbing mt Everest. I’ve made so many poor decisions based on avoiding the shame I feel at times. 12 years of catholic education didn’t help. Best defences for me is having a sense of humour and being outside. An understanding friend is also great, but as you know, part of the disorder is to not put yourself in a situation where you could be embarrassed. It’s tough but I’m sending understanding your way. It’s way better than love.
I have a friend with AvPD and he makes it really hard not to give up on him. But I know he doesn't mean it personally when he falls from the radar now and again or can't bring himself to express his inner world. Social stuff is just really really hard for him, close to impossible. At the same time he's an amazing human being and I couldn't stop caring if I wanted. Life's not always simple and this is a good hill to die on, if I get to pick my battles.
@@julyol119 😭 I wish we all had friends as understanding as you
@@anxious_and_avoidant Well, I have ADHD and struggled with depression and an onset of agoraphobia in the past as well. Maybe that makes me somewhat more empathetic haha All I wanted to say is just, that there are people out there, that will love you the way you are.
And I'm not perfect either. I plan to kidnap him to go to a festival with me. Not purely selfish reasons, but selfish enough xD He knows and didn't say he doesn't want to, so I will proceed.
Yes. People rarely discuss it because it doesn’t effect anyone outside of your immediate family. We don’t act out, we just pull away to avoid being hurt by others. We have in common with BPD the feed of abandonment, but instead of acting out to keep people in our lives we just isolate.
Dr. Grande’s presentations are listener-friendly, and offer content useful to professionals and lay people alike. I’ve been in practice over three decades and have witnessed many changes in the field, one of which concerns avoiding rigid boundaries between disorders, and looking at tendencies, and behaviors, vs rigid, boxed-in classifications, and avoiding trying to over-generalize, especially celebrities and those in the news from superficially acquired info. Blurring of distinctions and shadow syndromes need to be appreciated as well.
You're right. Something not appreciated by the general public is how much overlap there can be between PDs.
As someone who suffers from BPD with OCD my life has been hellish.
Appreciated this very much. I’m still confused about BPD. I’ve read such a wide range of symptoms from various sources. I’ve also seen BPD broken down into types. Very confusing.
Even so, I truly appreciate the breakdown of the classes and 10 personality disorders. Thank you so much!
When it comes to types, in Europe there’s 2. ( also they are not normally called Borderline, and often there’s no mention of “disorder”. )
It’s called emotionally unstable personality type 1 and type 2.
Type 1 is Emotionally Unstable Personality - impulse type
Type 2 is Emotionally Unstable Personality - Borderline type ( that term might have changed in recent years)
Type 2 is more difficult and serious one. That’s where you get suicidal thoughts, self harm and generally deep anger towards self and severe loathing of self as a person ON TOP of impulsively, strong emotions, anger towards others because of black and white thinking, also called idealisation and devaluation, and because you’re emotionally extremely vulnerable and the slightest wrong towards you (even unintentional) hurts so much that it’s an instant justification for a “ I will hurt you back the same “, although it often IS tenfold to others on the receiving end … precisely because the person with BPD hurts so much, it feels to them that they’re just hurting back “appropriately”… followed by genuine remorse and regret, fear, utter terror of abandonment and frantic “ Please, don’t leave me.”
( this was a brief description of the type 1).
While the type one suffers tremendously, type 2 is, on top of that, taking a huge step further towards ultimate destruction of self as well.
I’m not talking about the immense hurt and damage people with this personality type do to others right now. That’s a different topic altogether.
I believe that nobody chooses to have a personality disorder. A very sad life for them and damaging for those around them.
Isn't that an overly obvious observation?? It's like saying no one gets the flu on purpose. Goes without saying....
Did you, at one point think we did? Did you recently learn we don't choose? Why do you need to tell us something that should be common sense
When i was a kid i used to wonder about mental illness and thoughts of them as some inhuman or soul less people
Now i have it😐
Karma I guess
Agree. No one chooses to have a personality disorder. But they can choose to get help and work on themselves.
@@drapered7762 ⬆️ 🙌
You're a very kind man, I can see it in your eyes. As always, thank you
Just a little insight. I have ocpd I've been struggling with it for all my life. Only recently have I found a counselor willing to actually treat it through cognitive behavioral therapy. The level of emotional distress that I feel normally is extremely high due to the inability to ascertain that what I do may hurt others even though I see it as helping. I have a strong emotional and moral connection with those that I love and 90% of the time I feel emotionally broken due to not understanding how they're feeling.
This is excellent. You have provided a blueprint or map organizing the different classifications for enhanced study. Thank you for taking the time and effort to put this together for us. Sincerely appreciated.
As someone with BPD, I can easily say the biggest danger for me is when my inability to regulate environmental stressors. Have had multiple points in my life in which more than one major stressor comes into play (although it has always seemed to involve a romantic relationship stressor) and my brain automatically goes to suicide mode and pretty quickly. When I was in the service, the mental health professional I worked with claimed that, a lot of the time, the stressors of day to day life there would dig up old memories in some way shape or form that are extremely sensitive, and mixed with the relationship stressors, I would become suicidal and extremely depressed (although I am also diagnosed persistent depressive). It's honestly exhausting. Now that I look back, however, this makes sense. Can easily say the service is not a healthy environment with someone who has BPD, nor is any other very high stress job in which things can go sideways real fast.
I am former USMC. Is it military that causes this? Or do we have it when we go in and it gets turbochargeda?
Learning to sit down and set healthy boundaries is key to deal relationship stressors. Taking time to understand triggers and coming back to your calm state as soon as possible after an episode with a mindful attitude, talking about how you did that? Using the strategy or looking for a strategies to come back to good mood. All the best brother. A high counsellor from Nepal. We are all supposed to die one day. Why rush?.
They are all quite damaging when experienced as a child dealing with a personality disordered mother or father ( or both)
I'm over 40 and still trying to heal from my experience
I hear you !
Not me, I wrote them off ages ago! I feel much better for it. I can't explain how good it was to be able to take full breaths and relax when my mom died! A huge weight/pressure but those words don't describe it correctly, was instantly gone! I hope you find peace.
I hear you
depends on dealing with a person who has it or have it yourself. Avoidant PD is the worst to have it yourself. cause you cant live in such a state. You're isolated from everything but not willingly. You're also not popular like a narcissist can be. people avoid you like you avoid them, you won't have friends or partners and u will suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts all the time. Narcissistic is probably the most damaging when it comes to dealing with a person.
As someone who is beginning a Psychology career, I find your channel really helpful. Great info!🙋🏽♀️
I have a BS in psyc and half a MA, but I have learned more from Dr Grande than all those years of college
"Borderline Personality Disorder's name doesn't fit either" when you said that, it reminded me of when I was first diagnosed with BPD 2 years ago. I got home and told my husband that I was diagnosed with BPD, he mistook it for MPD and asked me, "Which Ashley are you today?" And I laughed and explained that BPD is different than having multiple personalities and that I was the same Ashley lol
I was married to someone with BPD. If her name had been Ashley the better question would be "Which Ashley are you today? The one who loves me or the one who hates my guts?" The "hates my guts" version didn't show up until our wedding day; then after that a soul-destroying roller coaster.
The majority of these categories did not exist 10-20 years ago. In fact, most of this behavior is ordinary in humans (i.e. avoidant personality disorder). These categories were created to expand the patient list of psychiatrists and the reach of pharmaceutical companies. This "Dr" is a fraud practicing pseudoscience.
@@trustedsource1273 dude that sucks, bpd is tough as nails, hope you found the way
Glad you both have a sense of humor. That will help you transverse the pitfalls of life.
@@trustedsource1273 man that sounds horrible. I wonder what my ex partner felt whilst we were still dating.
I ..was a psychiatric nurse in two huge city/county jails and our department just had to triage patients as to who would receive care. Obviously, the sickest patients came first; those with psychosis, those with severe mania, and so on. While inmates could ask to see someone from mental health, I frequently saw personality disorders, and it was not uncommon at all to see plenty of co-morbidity. A favorite tactic of these inmates was an attempt to manipulate their situation to their advantage.....and finally, if I wasn't "getting it", they would become more obvious as to what they were getting at. How could mental illness be used in defense of a crime. These interviews lasted maybe three minutes, and, I was being nice letting it go that long. And, even when they were in dire straits, they were soooo charming. When manipulation failed, which was always, they would become enraged, and only a security correctional officer's presence prevented them from expressing the anger. My answer was pretty much the same in these instances. "Talk to your attorney." (And, the lawyers has by far seen even more than I had!)
Good for you for not letting them off the hook. Bravo!
How can a felon use mental illness in defense of their crime? That is one of the most obvious ones we see on national news. A person who looked normal when arrested comes into court using a walker or wheel chair etc. It's like you did the crime & now want to pretend a mental illness made you do whatever even murder. More or less there is pure evil walking around & have no problem getting what they want even if it means someone dies. It is very tragic for society.
I was diagnosed with OCPD when I was 15. One of the things I HATE is giving my work to someone else to complete. I have no confidence that they will be able to do it correctly. I would rather be overloaded with work.
who would do it better than you? nobody would. be nice to yourself.
Dear Dr. Grande, I've watched roughly a dozen or so of your videos. I'd like to compliment you on your professionalism. your adherence to fact...but also, the sense of "humanity" that we have to mix into the equation. I think you're a very genuine, compassionate, caring person. Thank you!
:)
In reading many of the comments, one gets the distinct feeling that some therapeutic relief is being felt by listeners! There seems to me to be little danger and much benefit in this. Imagine TH-cam actually helping people rather than being a vacuous, useless format! Nice work Dr. Grande!💎
Work is a nightmare for me in particular, trying to manage it with BPD. One of my triggers though, since childhood, has been the ridiculously high standards my mother (probably BPD, with N traits) held for me, so while my performance isn’t so terrible, I am SO sensitive to criticism and disapproval that the anxiety is cloaking me daily. Conveniently, the anxiety is what will affect my performance, which of course spikes the anxiety further.. then fear of rejection kicks in high, and Im completely self-sabotaging before I realize it’s happening. Haven’t held a job longer than 1.5 yrs or so since I was a teenager. I’m now 32.
Funny enough, I’ve never been fired from one. I just eventually no call no show, under the weight of the pressure, when the fear of that termination grows big enough.
Yeah, as an adult who is expected to operate as one... this part really weathers away my defenses faster than anything else I think.
You don't sound like a disordered person, more likely you were abused by a disordered who projected onto you there evil..consider maybe you only have PTSD
I say so cause it took me 40 years to learn that I wasn't the sick one, my father was, most of my life I believed I had BPD...nope! Narc daddy and the extreme damage he did to me for so long caused feelings, beliefs and behaviors that mimic bdp
Sarah Kitz I’m not sure how you can come to the conclusion on my status as disordered or not, by one comment about my work life.
Stick to making assumptions about things you have reasonable information on, in a real life in person setting-and that’s only if you’re a licensed clinician. Otherwise, don’t make the assumption at all. You’re judging me based on 1% of my life-and only part of that 1% because I only wrote what I wanted you to know.
You have no fucking idea, so please fuck the hell off.
Hi Noelle, my name is Noelle too. That name is rare in my town btw 😊
Thanks for sharing , I'm going through the same things
WoW ,The most concise ,clear description of confusing concepts and misleading jarson.
Could have saved years of reading and discussions.
Thank you!
Thank you for your in-depth approach to difficult behavioral manifestations regarding BPD, HPD, NPD, ASPD, AVPD, and OCPD.
Finding the right position for a person with ocpd can make all the difference in the work place setting. They can really thrive in some positions. I have also seem a person with bpd do very well if they have supportive understanding coworkers. Open honest communication seems to be very helpful in defusing emotional situations.
Wow! You laid this out in an easy to understand manner. I wish videos like this one was around when I was going through Psychiatric Nursing.
Dr. Grande is by far the absolute best!!!! I love how he gets straight to the point and states straight facts. It’s so frustrating when someone rambles on and on before they get to the point. I have learned so much from him. Thank you Dr. Grande!! We need more professionals like you in this field. You have an impact on so many. Thank you!
I love how you're very open-minded about how you address this topic as it is very sensitive and can easily come across as very opinionated. Very good explanation.
After working in the mental health field for 7 years, borderline, in my experience, is the hardest to work with and the least understood amongst my colleagues
Yet Amy working with clients with BPD was very rewarding to me as long as they had some potential for personal enlightenment and had the capacity to assume responsibility when required.
@oh ok 🤣
Really? Damn... But borderlines want help? Other PDs don't. How does that work?
@@sapphirepokemonfan I found that really interesting too cos I assumed it would have been NPD's but maybe they're really charming !! 🤔
Thank you I am dealing with it
Narcissistic personality disorder in my husband wrecked my life as in severe, complicated, unpredictable violence in so many ways. I now suffer from complex PTSD and am lucky to be alive, but am changed forever.
Thank you for being so honest and realistic about Schizoid personality disorder, I live in Argentina and our psychiatrists keep lying to me , saying that there's a treatment to reverse my disorder and forcing me to have a social life that I can't bare ( I'm 42), ovbiously American psychiatrits are way more professionals
Dr Grande, thank you. As you described each of the 10 personality disorders I kept filtering against my own self diagnosis, and time and time again you would help me answer my own question. I have a lot of mental health issues, so much I cannot work, but I don’t believe I have been accurately or definitively diagnosed (to my knowledge). I believe that only with brain imaging can we really know what’s going on with our mental health. One day, one day, I will be able to afford that FMRI. And for it to be analyzed by many of your peers (in confidence) and that the “true” diagnosis of my mental health deterioration will finally see the light. No wonder you guys are still called shrinks. You are a brilliant human and I admire your recall and tone and seeming objectivity. But hey, who knows, you could also be the guy who gets subpoenaed in 3 years time for having an arsenal of guns and kilddie porn in your house.
Please don’t remove this comment, it is here to prove that literally no one is innocent: me, Dr Grande, Dr Curry, Dr Bruce Leuchter of 59th street Psychiatric Weill Cornell Institute or beyond. I DO NOT TRUST YOU. and I am praying this changes. FIONA
I appreciate your in depth honesty, particularly on BPD. Very insightful, thank you🖖🏽
My thought before viewing the video was that BPD is probably worst for the sufferer, but ASPD causes the most distress for others. The most severe BPD problems include high suicide rate, eating disorders, self-harm, and other indicators of stress and apparent self-loathing. That's so very sad.
Yeah, but I also have friends with aspd who really don't harm others. Granted they are in therapy though.
This is why Dialectal Behavior Therapy is so important. BPD is one of the most maligned and misunderstood of all of the disorders. 75% of sufferers have attempted or will attempt suicide at least three times in their lifetime, 60% report having issues with self harming behaviours and 1 in 10 will die as a result of taking their own life. Male borderlines are particularly at risk because they are more likely to be misdiagnosed as a result of the outdated belief that only women can get it - much like with autistic females. Unfortunately, this toxic stigma in society towards it, typically categorized by the "my crazy BPD ex" stories (highly stereotypical!), is making the issue worse and adding to the vicious cycle of receiving abuse in childhood which leads to a feeling of being inherently evil and unloveable, and then everyone in society tells them the same thing and warns people to stay away from them.
Check out Dr. Daniel Fox, on BPD, such good work. Very hopeful.
Your bpd review makes me feel really valid since I have it and your words were spot on.
In my workplace I suspect just about everyone has a personality disorder 😣
Same here.
I've come to believe that a workplace brings out the worst in people and so it becomes the place where any disorders are more visible, but are accepted as being a non-issue as they are excused on the basis the person appears to be doing their best for the company.
Haha maybe it’s you too
you’re not a professional so you aren’t qualified to diagnose other people
@@imaginationturtle5447😂 my first thought too.
To have: Avoidant
To deal with: Antisocial
Both: Borderline
Dishonorable mentions: Narcissistic, Dependent
@Lemarkus Mywords this is what makes it so depressing in my opinion. behind so many awful, manipulative, just plain evil people, theres a child that has experienced trauma to make them this way. this doesnt excuse their horrible actions in any shape or form, only explains them, which - personally - makes it rather hard not to have at least some empathy towards them. they arent the one to blame for how they end up.
@@clem6485 I have a bordeline personality disorder and I'm not a bad person in the slightest
@@billizeneli912 id never think you are! i was mainly talking about people whove done awful crimes... i tend to sympathize with them a lot, even when theyre objectively speaking horrible people u know? im also very certain i have bpd as well so yea i dont think ur a bad person at all and im sorry if what i said came off that way!
@@clem6485 ahhh sorry lol, theres alot of people that think people with this are just plain horrible and do bad or impulsive things alot with no self control after all there is 'disorder' and 'personality' in the name to some it sounds really bad and even scary
I was avoidant/ dependent as a child! Life was like hell for me & my parents BUT I became normal without therapy and the only thing I am really afraid of nowadays is to do phone calls with people I don't know! Other than that I am normal...
I would say paranoid must be the worst to have !
Dr. Todd, I have major depressive disorder w/ borderline. It is quite difficult to manage, and associations with others is quite difficult. I've learned good coping skills and my treatment plan began in 1994. Currently I'm not on meds, and haven't been for a year. Mostly what I've noticed with myself in an interpersonal level is that I tend to be more of a hermit when I'm not out ministering. But I do go through those times where I'm "in a hole" and struggle to get out if it. I'd say that the comordidity if these two is quite debilitating at times, and a struggle more often than not. Just thought I'd share, God bless
Keep going, you're doing really well! God bless
My parent's just moved to a new house, and in doing so, I discovered all of my childhood medical records. Imagine my surprise when I discover no less than five doctors that diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder, as far back as age 10. I'm 48 now, and just learning about this. I'm infuriated my parent's didn't tell me, and I'm infuriated that doctor's and teachers documented how odd my behavior was, especially how immature I acted with other children, but not one single adult could pull me aside and talk to me about it? I see my son displaying annoying behaviors, and I'm all over it! When he starts being repetitive on online games, I shut him down quick, and tell him he is probably annoying the other people, that's why they're not responding. But did anyone bother to pull me aside? Every doctor I've seen, wants to put me on medication, specifically SSRIs, and I FINALLY have paperwork diagnosing me with a disorder that SPECIFICALLY states that medication is ineffective in treating! I hope therapy helps me with the rage I feel at the wasted 38 years I could've done something about, had I known!
@@edwardcheves9106 I was curious if it was possible to be diagnosed in childhood/adolescence without ever disclosing the diagnosis to a patient. Sorry that happened to you. Bad parenting and no help isn’t rare.
"Strong feelings in many directions" Beautifully put Dr Grande. Reality with cluster B narcissists Not so beautiful unfortunately.
Panic attack, acute anxiety. Both parents suffered from narcissistic personalities. I feel at this point that to be dependent upon and victimized by such people created my acute anxiety. Maybe you could discuss the damage narcissists cause?
I worked for a forensic psychologist and adolescent psychiatrist for 13 years
I saw a lot and learned a lot. I really enjoy your videos Dr Grande
I love how Dr Grande says "personality disorder" so frequently that it becomes "personadisorders" to save time -
LoL
The majority of these categories did not exist 10-20 years ago. In fact, most of this behavior is ordinary in humans (i.e. avoidant personality disorder).
These categories were created to expand the patient list of psychiatrists and the reach of pharmaceutical companies. What people need is moral instruction that comes from religion.
Thank you Dr. Grande. You have explained so much to me. I'm very avoidant and it's impacted my life hugely but most of all I'm terrified I've passed it on to my kids. I'm so scared they will grow up to be lonely, it's my biggest fear. The pandemic and a bereavement has compounded things.
You can tell that you're 100% real.
You show no emotion. You keep your poker face tight. I personally believe it's so nobody can psychoanalyze you. Giving it an heir of legitimacy. Every now and then though you'll get excited especially if I have some clever to say. When you smile I smile..lol. but all in all you're the only go to channel on this subject...
I was relieved to hear your clarification about the word ‘worst’ 🙏🌈🍀🌺
As a 70 year old work in progress I dip my toe into your knowledge (thought bag) and come away favorably impressed and more knowledgeable. Thank you!
Thank you for explaining the disorders. Much appreciated
Hello, Dr. Big. On a spree watching all of your presentations; thank you. I'd like your input on two wide reaching issues throughout America: OBESITY and LONLINESS/ISOLATION. I was born in 1960, and have observed, regretfully, that these issues appear to be affecting EVERYONE. Lyn from NY. p.s. Your dry n' wry wit is hysterical! More please.
You are so articulate and I love how much research you put into your videos, easily my favourite psychology TH-camr! Thanks for another great video :D
Thank you for sharing so much valuable knowledge on personality disorders and how they can impact a person's life, this is very helpful and hoping for healing for people who are affected by these disorders
Informative video, thanks. I went to see a psychologist last year because i wanted to figure out why i had never gotten anywhere. He diagnosed me with Dependent personality disorder. In my case it's very limiting, and explains why i have almost never worked in my entire life (mid 30's). It's interesting to see how rare it seems to be, it makes it a bit harder to find out how and why, and find people who connect with me. I'm still trying to get into psychotherapy to help me live with myself, what i can do to be a bit more indepenant. One day at a time... :)
I'm not surprised that BPD is first on the list. So complicated and difficult to deal with this type!
I love your videos Dr. Grande, I have APD and BPD but feel like (luckily) my symptoms are mild. I told my therapist about your TH-cam channel, its so good for me, I absolutely love the rational way you think and express. Super inspiring 😊👍 thanks for your videos, they really add some rational thought and understanding to my day 🙂
Cool ,..... my therapy is Gaslighting.....lol!
@@redstaplerguyforlifepastpr5763 i think my psychiatrist has narcissistic personality disorder 😂😂😂😂
He think of his words and opinion as universal rules.
He just like my narcissistic father.
He only listened to my opinion after i attempted suicide second time.
He is worse😂
It's so bad that i find it funny.
I mean something so many crazy things happen in your life that when you think about it you yourself can't believe it😂.
Omg
The world is funny and miserable
Take care of yourself.
Things might get worse in early adulthood
The other thing about avpd, its not just the beginnings that are hard. Thats maybe common with social anxiety, but often with avpd the beginnings are the easiest and the closer we get, the more we pull away/vanish. Intimacy is impossible. Or if you are like me meeting people is difficult/confusing, getting to know someone is a lot easier, but the next stage is difficult again - a lot of disappearing/reappearing, pushing and pulling. At some point it becomes just hilarious how out of control you are, and no amount of knowing it stops it.
I myself don't have avpd, but my best friend does and I've noticed that pattern. I definitely worry that she'll be like that forever and never be able to feel like she is really close to anyone. It makes me sad, because I love her a lot.
@@Aster_Risk Yeah, unfortunately I don't know what the solution for it is. I've tried multiple types of therapy for extended periods of time, I've been in relationships, and that pattern is quite stuck. I think it is due to the attachment trauma. There are a few facets to AvPD that kind of make up the disorder, and one of them is having a disorganized attachment pattern (also known as fearful avoidant). It's like yes/no'ing into infinity, there is never stability really.
@@lifewithavpd I found that it correlates more with the insecure attachment style...
"expecually" lol
I have bpd but i do this alot.
I disappear from peoples life.
I can make friends easily but the next step is always very difficult.
I can't bear them anymore.
I'll try my best to avoid them.
I'll hate them.
Is it a symptoms of avpd?
My heart goes out to anyone with avoidant personality. From what Dr. Grande said, it must be hell on earth. I always thought BPD is the worst.
I sincerely hope those lovely people can seek and get help. And live their lives more freely, see people and their judgment as less scary and see that there’s nothing wrong with them except the way they experience the world. That can be changed and there’s no need to suffer in silence.
Trust me, people are too involved in they own lives, mistakes, fears, happiness and achievements to pay too much attention to yours.
Big hug 🤗
Thank You Dr Grande... Mine Is BPD And It’s The Worst Ever, For Me... Everything I Feel Is Intensified Especially Depression. I Go Plunging Into A Really Deep Pit Of Depression When I’m Not Doing Selfcare. To The Point I Cannot Take Care Of Myself On All Levels. The Social Isolation Because Feel I Can’t Have Stable Relationships With Anyone &’ Chronic Fear Of Being Rejected &’ Judged It’s So Hard Because This Disorder Make You Feel So Helpless And Hopeless, The Trying To Figure Out What People Are Thinking About You &’ Hyperattuned To Facial Expressions The Paranoid Thoughts, Auditory Hallucinations, Identity Issues, Just Not Knowing Who You Are, Distorted Self Image Of Self And Seeing Self &’ Others Distortedly, Numerous Hospitalizations Emotional Swings, Self Destructive Behaviors, Impulsivity, Difficulty Regulating Self, (I Feel Especially In Social Settings) Behavior Instability, Splitting (One Minute We Cool, Next Minute We Ain’t) The Constant Shifting In Many Ways... All Of The Difficulty That Makes Up This Disorder... It Also Lies It Will Tell You ‘No One Likes You’, ‘You Aren’t Loveable’, ‘Everyone Will Leave You’ Etc It’s So Overwhelming I’m More Of Quiet BPD It’s All Internalized. I Have Had Experiences With Externally Expressing The Disorder Angry Outbursts I’m Not Proud Of What I Done But In The Past I Was In Conflict With Sibling And I Shattered My Moms Glass Table With My Bare Hands, And Broke Down Her Entry Door To Her Place I Couldn’t Manage Myself I Went To Jail &’ The Guilt After Is Consuming 😭 Everything Feels Unstable In My Life, I Cannot Keep A Job For Long I’ve Had So Many Jobs In The Past Within A Short Time Span It’s Ridiculous
i like reading the comments from other viewers...it is facinating to discover the ways different people interpret the same information.
I’m a 29 year old male. I feel like I have avoidant personality disorder. Extreme anxiety in social situations and wanting to avoid people in general. I have a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety on a daily basis just thinking of the idea of talking to someone or having to talk to people. It’s way way more than just social anxiety. Probably AVPD but I don’t know, but it really REALLY effects my life on a daily basis. 😔
I used to have this b/c of low self esteem caused by abuse. I have underlying cognitive disabilities. It was very uncomfortable. I was dx as avpd once but people said I didn't have it. I was too outgoing me being extroverted.
I appreciate the way you said “not Worse” because people who are affected/effected could delay treatment if they thought they were the worst. Thank you!
Wow. What a balanced view of these issues. That is so rare in the social sciences. Dr. Grande is amazing. Highly recommended watch. This video is worth your time.
Really excellent analysis. Concise, well orated, and comprehensive. I survived a relationship with someone I think has NPD/ASPD and I had to laugh when you mentioned the partner doesn't feel the relationship is going as well as the PD person. That is definitely spot on. Great share. Thanks, and subscribed.
Thank you so much!
Niagod glad you survived it,
Me too man, hope you are well!
The tendency for people with AvPD to stick like glue in relationships can actually be incredibly negative. They stay sometimes despite massive amounts of abuse because they don't feel worthy of anything better. In fact, being abused by the people they care about is used as proof that no one will treat them better, and that they deserve their ill treatment.
The abusers also exploit their victims financially, waste money, dont pay bills so it all falls on the victim. The narcissist attempts to burn all of your options by isolating you from friends, family and coworkers. Ideally this needs to be taught to young people before they get into any type of relationship. Education is important, especially about boundaries, personal interaction. Teach your kids early what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior and you must model the behavior as well.
@Lisa Rowe Narcissist does get thrown around a lot. Abuser, narcissist. Unfaithful, narcissist. Only a tiny fraction of abusers and cheaters are actual narcissists. People treat narcissist as a synonym for asshole. There are assholes everywhere and most of the don't have personality disorders. They are simply assholes.
@ck2d this is very true. I suffer from AvPD and my first relationship was incredibly negative and emotional abusive. Stayed for way too long with her and I can still feel the effects of it almost 5 years after I broke up with her.
I feel this at my core. AvPD is kind of lost/forgotten in the.shuffle, I think, particularly since it’s virtually indistinguishable from Social Anxiety Disorder.
@@paulvoorhies8821There's a very clear difference between SAD and AvPD.
Now I have an explanation for my SOs overwhelming workaholism--OCPD. He is the original "the only way you can do anything right is to do it yourself.". He almost lost me to neglect because he had so many things going on at once that he really did have too little time for me and didn't seem to care. After I finally really talked to him about "I have needs of my own and just what you're happening to toss my way isn't enough" we got things worked out--it helped that I made a specific request for more time and he has followed up on that very well. Give him a project goal and he does great.
A compare, contrast, and ranking of personality disorders in terms of effect on others would be very meaningful. A measure of mental health impact from contact with a disordered person is needed because the impact is downplayed in both society and mental health professions. I hear about mental issues of one person degrading the mental health of others, both intentionally and unintentionally. A measure of contagiousness appears to be lacking.
Your channel has taught me so much about the situation I grew up in, and how to work on myself to treat others better in the future.