OP said it wasn't a happy update but i actually think it was a happy update. instead of harboring a self-destructive unrequited love for someone who clearly didn't like them back she found a way to move on. its easy to fall in love with someone who aligns with your interests and hobbies so much
That point about unrequited love feeling safer than real love is wild because it's true. It's a solitary fantasy that has almost nothing to do with the object of affection and almost everything to do with how they make you the dreamer feel. It's a difficult thing to come to terms with, even more difficult to then make a change, stop pining, and move on. Sorry OP went through so much but her current life sounds idyllic in comparison. Thanks for sharing!
I’ve been in this situation before 😭 it really is like a high when they give you the slightest bit of attention. I’m so glad I’ve learned my lesson lol
had a pretty similar experience also around 5 years ago with one of my high school friends. my friends and even some of my teachers used to ask me what the deal between us was because even they could tell there was 'something' going on, and i was just so confused because while it meant it wasn't all in my head it was just... i don't know, even now it's hard putting it into words because i still feel somewhat hung up on the whole situation... it was like being on the edge of what could've been something, waiting for anything to happen and confirm that i wasn't crazy for thinking he might've liked me back. the difference between my situation and the one on the post is that he knew i liked him (i left a note on his locker and it was just really awkward lol) and even still he didn't do anything. and that was that. stopped talking to him for my sake after graduating, even now i still think about him and it's difficult to know if i'm truly over it or not... i think i am and then some months later something pops up that reminds me of him and some unresolved feelings come crashing back in. i relate to the post so much it's crazy... gives me hope that i won't be so hung up on him as time passes.
I don't think I'm ever going to understand why people think falling in love with a friend is so scary and ruins the friendship. My wife and I were basically besties for 4 years before we started a romantic relationship and eventually got married 3 years ago. I've developed and confessed I had feelings for them to like 4 or 5 of my friends ever since I started dating when I was 16ish. Got rejected every time except once, and it never ruined anything. It was awkward for a couple weeks during the "get over it" phase, sure. But the friendships stayed intact. Similarly, I was confessed to by friends twice and though I also rejected these two friends, I didn't lose their friendship after that. It just feels like OP put herself through so much pointless pain. This whole thing was such a non-issue that could've been resolved with a 3 minute talk that, based on how she describes her relationship with the guy, wouldn't have ruined a thing if she had gotten rejected. Would've spared her so much exhaustion, too.
As a dude in similar situations to this, he liked OP too but he was just as scared as her. All his seeming obliviousness and talking about other girls was probably because he knew she was dating too and wanted to get her response or even lessen his own hurt. It's a stupid thing twice shy crushes do but it happens all the time.
So she ghosted a friend (HER BEST FRIEND) who likely didn't realize she was into him who played commonly used answers guys use to "play it safe" (especially since this was early 20s) and just left him wondering why they vanished. What a classy person she is 🙄 Granted he used the common "Is your friend single?" to gauge her reaction so he wasn't the most mature either. Holy s**t early twenties is an awkward time in dating.
If he was her best friend, he knew of and saw her spiraling. She said she had to drop out of school, go back home and was depressed and had an alcohol addiction. All of that is VERY noticeable. If he has to wonder what happened to her, he either wasn't a friend or he is so oblivious that he doesn't need to be left in charge of a cup of water let alone human interactions
OP said it wasn't a happy update but i actually think it was a happy update. instead of harboring a self-destructive unrequited love for someone who clearly didn't like them back she found a way to move on. its easy to fall in love with someone who aligns with your interests and hobbies so much
That point about unrequited love feeling safer than real love is wild because it's true. It's a solitary fantasy that has almost nothing to do with the object of affection and almost everything to do with how they make you the dreamer feel. It's a difficult thing to come to terms with, even more difficult to then make a change, stop pining, and move on. Sorry OP went through so much but her current life sounds idyllic in comparison.
Thanks for sharing!
Yeah im 95% sure he didnt know, all of those examples scream yeah no he doesnt get it
This was such a sad story, but so unique because it is not a melodrama or tragedy, just sadness.
ok so the update 5.5 years later caught me super off guard lmao
Same 😂 i yelled “omg??”
I’ve been in this situation before 😭 it really is like a high when they give you the slightest bit of attention. I’m so glad I’ve learned my lesson lol
I think it's a happy update OP, you grew and you found your person. Life is not a romance movie so I'm glad life took you where you are.
had a pretty similar experience also around 5 years ago with one of my high school friends.
my friends and even some of my teachers used to ask me what the deal between us was because even they could tell there was 'something' going on, and i was just so confused because while it meant it wasn't all in my head it was just... i don't know, even now it's hard putting it into words because i still feel somewhat hung up on the whole situation... it was like being on the edge of what could've been something, waiting for anything to happen and confirm that i wasn't crazy for thinking he might've liked me back.
the difference between my situation and the one on the post is that he knew i liked him (i left a note on his locker and it was just really awkward lol) and even still he didn't do anything. and that was that. stopped talking to him for my sake after graduating, even now i still think about him and it's difficult to know if i'm truly over it or not... i think i am and then some months later something pops up that reminds me of him and some unresolved feelings come crashing back in. i relate to the post so much it's crazy... gives me hope that i won't be so hung up on him as time passes.
I don't think I'm ever going to understand why people think falling in love with a friend is so scary and ruins the friendship. My wife and I were basically besties for 4 years before we started a romantic relationship and eventually got married 3 years ago. I've developed and confessed I had feelings for them to like 4 or 5 of my friends ever since I started dating when I was 16ish. Got rejected every time except once, and it never ruined anything. It was awkward for a couple weeks during the "get over it" phase, sure. But the friendships stayed intact. Similarly, I was confessed to by friends twice and though I also rejected these two friends, I didn't lose their friendship after that. It just feels like OP put herself through so much pointless pain. This whole thing was such a non-issue that could've been resolved with a 3 minute talk that, based on how she describes her relationship with the guy, wouldn't have ruined a thing if she had gotten rejected. Would've spared her so much exhaustion, too.
Really should have just straight up admitted her crush to him
Lesbian experience for sure
As a dude in similar situations to this, he liked OP too but he was just as scared as her. All his seeming obliviousness and talking about other girls was probably because he knew she was dating too and wanted to get her response or even lessen his own hurt. It's a stupid thing twice shy crushes do but it happens all the time.
still wondering after all those years about those looks is so fucking real and human.
It had a great happy ending though.
The guy knew. He did. He was keeping her on a short string as a back up
I 100% guarantee If OP would have just told him how she felt about him. He would of said the same thing back, thats what them looks were.
He friendzone her
1 MINUTE AGO OMG
So she ghosted a friend (HER BEST FRIEND) who likely didn't realize she was into him who played commonly used answers guys use to "play it safe" (especially since this was early 20s) and just left him wondering why they vanished. What a classy person she is 🙄
Granted he used the common "Is your friend single?" to gauge her reaction so he wasn't the most mature either. Holy s**t early twenties is an awkward time in dating.
she wasnt wondering why they vanished if you listened. she fell into a deep depression smartypants
If he was her best friend, he knew of and saw her spiraling. She said she had to drop out of school, go back home and was depressed and had an alcohol addiction. All of that is VERY noticeable. If he has to wonder what happened to her, he either wasn't a friend or he is so oblivious that he doesn't need to be left in charge of a cup of water let alone human interactions
@@TheZombifiedFairy I think you meant "HE SHOULDNT BE left in charge of a cup of water" but otherwise I agree, he was not a real friend.
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