CRIMINAL Psychiatrists explores INCELS
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ส.ค. 2024
- INCELs - by definition, are a group of people who are “involuntarily celibate”
Often thought of spotty virgins, mostly male. They are upset that the rest of society have girlfriends and they are not getting sex (sounds like all of my puberty).
Whattup my Psych for Sore Guys (and gals)
This is partly a reaction video to posts by Incel members
Before then I’m going to explain what Incels are and some of their ideology
Why can they be dangerous?
Who are some high-profile incel-inspired mass murderers
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#incel #incels #incelcommunity
They are impossible to be with.
I dated one and he was awful (I'm female)
He refused to take me out for dinner, only to the pub and seemed to despise me.
I gave him one chance after he humiliated his mum and myself in a video call (don't ask me why).
We were meant to go out for dinner and he stayed at the pub!
They wonder why no woman would touch them. I reckon most are very low level narcissists that aren't blessed in the looks or charisma department
Incels are very insecure and narcissism is rooted in insecurity. Incels don't realize how they act is why they can't get woman. Girls hate insecurity. They also would be very jealous possessive and possibly abusive partners when the insecurity becomes too much for them. I had a guy ask me out once and when I told him I'm taken he kicked a fence and called me a bitch. It's their own fault really it is.
@@maliceinwonderland00 that's awful, they don't emphasise from our perspective at all.
I agree, they would be the violent domestic abuse partners and possibly the most volatile. I.e. the ones who kill their partners in a fit of rage on a drug or alcohol binge.
In fact this guy would be at the pub ALL the time, so maybe they try to self regulate with substances as they cannot find a woman to dominate or control.
It explains why they are so needy and quick to try and force a relationship status, despite never going on a proper date.
You shouldn't expect men to take you out on expensive dinners. A lot of women do this. Many men will refuse. Men should not waste money on dating.
@@ActiveAussie2024 I'm happy if my man just gets me a pizza from Walmart lol. I don't understand why girls expect their men to treat them like queens. A couple is supposed to be a team but I see woman expecting it to be more like master servant. I agree with you and besides I prefer to cook at home anyway. Eating out sucks.
@@ActiveAussie2024 heh, it doesn't have to be expensive or even a dinner. A proper date where they have thought about what to do would be nice. This man didn't even want to do that for me
This was insightful! I was only aware of extreme cases of inceldom. But I think it’s very dangerous regardless. The overlap of mental health issues and incels is something I hadn’t thought of but makes complete sense. These people are vulnerable, and the community distorts their world view. They feel accepted and start feeding into the ideation. Then leads to misogyny and hate. I empathize with them, they are just lost and found somewhere to belong. that closes them off from the rest of the world, and how great it is.
I live in the US and there’s a lot of hate and separation here right now.
The current statistics are that 28% of men between the ages of 18 and 30 haven't had sex since turning 18. That's a huge statistic. While it's easy to regard inceldom as dangerous, consider the ramifications that more that a quarter of young men fall in to the category that the extremists draw from. It's really a bigger issue than misogyny and hate. There is a huge population of young men is crisis who are not getting the attention on their issues in relation to the problem. Eight percent of men between 18 and 30 typically fall in to the category of no sex since turning 18, but the number has skyrocketed to 28% in the last 10 years. As long as this number remains high, there is going to be a growing amount of hate and separation.
Speaking from my own experiences with struggling to get/keep girlfriends in my teenage years and early adulthood, I can only say this: The "invisible walls" around women, which makes one fail to get in contact to them, are probably the "invisible wall" around oneself. Yeah, I struggled a lot back then, I got REALLY frustrated, I got to feel some hate towards women at times, but now I know that it didn't have to be that way. There WERE women, who wanted me (relatively many I might add), even some of those I was in love with but thought that they could't feel the same way towards me. It was all just in my head. I had constructed a cognitive "wall" around myself, out of fear of being an inadequate partner, externalizing the cause of my problems with women. Becoming an ideologized "incel" will only make that wall becoming thicker and thicker.
Thanks for sharing that. Much appreciated.
Lean to love yourself and show it.... in a modest way. How can you expect a woman to love you if you don't love yourself? You need to tare down the wall..... it's like a cage around you.... you wouldn't cage an animal you love would you? So why cage yourself?
Inadequacy is normal... but true love transcends those inadequacies.... it's warts and all!
Valuable honest insight - glad you have an understanding of your own framework now.
@@katee8147 Thanks, actually those days have long passed since then. I am 51 years old by now, live in a steady relationship of 7 years, basically I am a very different person than I had been back then. But it took me to become almost 30 to really make any significant and lasting progress considering those difficulties. I am just glad these times are over. It was dreadful having to sleep alone virtually all of the time, to live like a monk for months and months, sometimes years between short affairs or one night stands (which I don't even enjoy that much anyway). As I said before, I can totally relate to incels' frustrations about their hmmm...condition. There are some people who can live like that and still enjoy life, but most of us cannot.
YES! And many women have those feelings too. 😊 Thank you for sharing.
If they stopped focusing on trying to get laid (women sniff this out) and focus on building a friendship they'd get much further in their quest. Plus what makes them believe they are entitled to have another person's body!?
Women will make it clear if they are interested. For most men if they are making friends with women while they are trying to get a relationship then they are getting rejected because of their looks.
@@geraldtherat618It’s over.
Women don't care if a guy wants to get laid if the guy is attractive, even the ones looking for relationships. Making friends with women in order to date them eventually is not a good strategy. You express your interest, and if she doesn't reciprocate, you move on. That's the only way to do it that respects her and yourself.
@@geraldtherat618 Sounds like your projecting your own body dysmorphia.
Being an orbiter won’t help them get laid
About 15 years ago as a licensed counselor in the Seattle area, I noticed there being a high concentration of men with careers in high tech who were sweet people, incredibly intelligent and making a lot of money but they sometimes had never had a girlfriend, other times only a long time ago and occasionally they had a bad experience with someone taking advantage of them (which they were highly vulnerable to as they were rich, lonely and naive). I came into their lives and after learning about them and getting clear on what they were looking for and I helped them get comfortable with conversations with women period and also conversations on topics other than tech. I built up their confidence and helped them to see things much more realistically. These guys were catches and the best part was they had no idea. What I was teaching them were just muscles they weren't used to using, and once they pushed past their comfort zone they started to find an authentic way to connect. I never suggested faking it or pretending to be something they weren't. I built on their strengths and it was very very gratifying business based on referrals only and I had a long waiting list. Eventually, I took on clients who were isolated for different reasons such as a disability. One big difference from my clients and these incels is that my clients were good people. They were just shy and didn't have a lot of experience with women. They didn't blame anyone or hate women over it. I think there is definitely a lot more going on with men who belong to a group like this and carry around this kind of resentment. Incels would have scared me off and I'm sure that is what they do to most women. Could it be that these guys are just terrible people to be around? Being shy and awkward is one thing, but being hostile and self pitying is another thing entirely and nothing could be less attractive to a woman than that.
Most incels arent like that. Just like any group on the net, the radicals and extremist are the loud minority.
You nailed it! I wonder how many are in the spectrum and never developed life skills or matured over 12/13 years?
EXCELLENT COMMENT WITH INTELLIGENCE ! ESP THE LAST 3 SENTENCES !
Dr. Das it was the first time, that you actually scared me. This sounds like an abstract of a horror film. Thank you for explaining it well, I have never heard of Incel before and this is quite scary. Thank you for another great video.
de nada
Hats off to you sir for speaking on this topic and 17:04 LDAR in incel terminology means "Lay Down and Rot" which pretty much speaks for itself.
Thank You
I had an interaction with a chap this week where he blamed the victim of a machete attack by her ex, who she had escaped and got a TRO against. He said it was her fault for dating him in the first place. But he wasn't surprised because "women want crazy guys" over "nice guys". This showed him as bitter about his situation and completely misguided/under educated about, well everything. The more we talked in this thread, the more he sounded like an incel. It was scary.
There’s probably truth there. Such a tiny percentage of men are psychologically capable of violence yet so many girls talk about a violent ex. What are the odds of one third or even merely a quarter of girls ending up in a relationship with a male that’s part of a 1% demographic (like Eskimos or astronauts).
@@johnwilliams655 I'm not quite following this. But if I understand you correctly, you are saying that 1% of men are violent?
Here in the UK 8% of homes have reported DV, close to 77,000 cases reported in 2021. Of those only 38% of suspects were arrested (29,000), and 70% of those actually went to court (20,000). Those are reported numbers.
Given that most victims don't report, because arrest, court and conviction numbers are not in their favour, it's hardly surprising.
It's not that women "want crazy", it turns out that 1 in 40 men and 1 in 60 women are abusive.
In a study in 2018 on a college campus in the States, under the condition of anonymity, 1 in 12 men asked, confirmed they had committed SA. 1 in 12. The same respondents were asked if they *would* commit SA if they knew they could get away with it, 1 in 6 said yes. 1. In. 6.
The fault isn't with women not wanting "nice guys", and that we just happen to find the 1% that aren't. It's that there are less nice people than you'd think. These people feel entitled to slowly condition partners into accepting abuse and it being normal, and a lot of Incels buy into that narrative - they are entitled to a partner, they are entitled to blame others for their inability to genuinely relate to others and work on themselves in order to earn trust and a relationship.
We aren't teaching young kids and adults the right lessons here, and we are blaming their victims.
Usually people who have to make a point of saying they're nice are not nice.
The thing is, women aren't going to be with a guy who treats them like crap because they feel they are owed sexual relationships just because. I have a major issue with guys who think they have the god given right because they are male to dictate what a women does, look or act like simply because they are male. I am a 5'10 women who married a 5'7 man and Neither of us are run way material. I didn't marry him because of his looks. I married him because he is a kind and caring person. So this attitude of I'm owed this is basically shooting themselves in the foot and self sabotaging any hope of an actual relationship with women.
Cap. 90% of women want tall and attractive men.
Just found this great channel via his collaboration with Deadbug Says. As I am from Australia this content not shown here on domestic TV. Great to watch someone who knows their stuff. I have subscribed and now am in the middle of binge watching! 👍🏻👍🏻
Legion Forever!!!
enjoy the vids my man. Spread the love by telling everybody about my channel please
@@APsychForSoreMinds
Totally mate. Have shared all that I have watched around a very large family and I am sure they have all subscribed. They all think your take on these issues is super interesting.
Thank you for collaborating with Deadbug Says! He's arguably the most underrated, under-appreciated creator on the platform
The internet has made socializing so much harder and more toxic for the younger generations... people nowadays who already were at risk of feeling isolated feel exponentially more so. 😔
I think that's Def an issue. Also, the way the dating world is projected online, that everyone is beautiful and buff that date pushes false reality
The Ringmaster said it best.
I'm here based on your collaboration with Deadbug. You both are highly informative. I'm now a subscriber.
As someone from Plymouth, and an area that recently experienced incel violence, I genuinely hope that all involved can break the shackles of inceldom. Everything looks worse in a vacuum, so I implore all to seek assistance or help if needed. Much love x
Also... Q*bert on your table Sohom!!!
No help for one's face or height, I'm afraid.
My friends live in Keyham, and were ten minutes walk away from where the incel shot his victims. My friend Joe walked home from work along the road where the incel went on the rampage half an hour before it happened. If Joe had left work later, or been delayed on the way home, he would have been in the line of fire. Thankfully they were both at home when the shooting started. They heard the police helicopters overhead and got a phone call telling them to stay indoors.
Saw a recent collaboration with Deadbug, by far the best crime content provider i've seen and for him to choose you i think you're going places Soham, you certainly know your stuff mate.
Really glad you did the collaboration with Deadbug which is why I'm here. I can already tell, however, that your content will keep me here as well--newly subscribed! 🙌🙌🙌
welcome, fam
I don't understand why these men find it so hard to get a girlfriend. All they have to do is:
1. Have neat hair
2. Have neat facial hair
3. Go to the gym regularly and wear 'fitted' clothes that show off your physique
4. Have a gold tooth
5. Become a forensic psychiatrist
6. Smile at the world and tell everyone you love them twice a week
Job done!
Cope
Ha, ha! Great plan. Worked for me.
#justshowerbro
He is hot, isnt he? I think Doc knows it too, lol! Very humbpe and down- to- earth, and great content. Being hot doesnt hurt.
@@stompthedragon4010 I think incels would be really pissed to see a super attractive Indian chad basically explain to them how all you have to do is be nice in order to get girls. Lol, in the real world it barely ever works that way
Definitely my new favourite channel. I love how down to earth you are but so wise.
LDAR- Lay Down And Rot. Very sad.
Sent over from Deadbug Says...really great content!! I'm diving in!!
Welcome aboard!
Geez, the longer this video goes on the more this breaks my heart for these guys. It's really sad what they are struggling with.
lets be honest.....you dont care lol
No. They are into a culture of blame, misogyny, avoidance of personal responsibility.
@@tornagawn yeah, I settled on that in the end. But I have empathy for anyone struggling with mental health issues and it seems clear that many of them are. I hope they get the help they need to live happy lives.
These guys have way more to worry a out mentally than just not being able to get a ****. For one thing there more import things in life and no excuse for the hate and blame of others.
Just another false reasoning to put the blame of their problems on someone else.
I Could Murder a Podcast brought me here. I found myself enjoying your content as much as theirs, watched quite a few of your videos now and I find them fascinating!.
Really enjoyed your collab with deadbug! Glad he introduced me to your channel. Love criminal psychology. Kinda wish I would have finished my degree now lol
Love the collab with Deadbug says, hope to see more soon
Eliot Rogers (The Supreme Gentleman) wasn't bad looking at all.
What him, and guys like him, can't seem to comprehend is that it's their personalitys that turn people off.
What you, clever girl, can't seem to comprehend is that Eliot Rogers wasn't a stupid dude. Neither am I. I am fully aware that my personality turns people off, but I'm drowning in a downward spiraling swamp that my personality just gets worse and worse, like a wound left untreated so that it becomes infected and starts spewing PUS everywhere.
No, I'm 100% fully aware it's my personality. But I'm too defeated to change it now, and your ignorant comment does nothing but introduce more pain and hatred into this world. Shame on you. Seriously.
But thanks for your comment. My nastiest shits have more truth and meaning, more thought and effort, more kindness and consideration
“It's your personality, bro.”
@@HappyMan-ts1ys How short is short? I'm 5'2", my sister is 4'9" and my brother is 5'10".
so... if he WERE bad looking... you'd understand that he was a virgin??? So you admit looks matter.....
@@SuperHawk0413 I said ugly personalities make people ugly. That's why people like Elliott find it near impossible to get laid.
I like this concentrated, yet laid back style of going through even this kind of topics. From what I've ran into hateful content (which of I presume was some incel thing) it appears that they have a large proportion of bitterness and support highly sanctioning forms of criminal policies and wish people to have their lives tore down to extreme measures, even from the slightest reason. In a way they seem to support procedures which would make life miserable for everyone else, to the extent they find their own situation to be.
English is not my native language, but I think You understand what I mean.
Good topic. Is there anyone with similar qualifications to you who's on the internet making advice videos for the incel community? Reading their comments like this and giving feedback about it. Could be a helpful and distinctive video niche to get into! Maybe you, Dr. Das?
Unfortunately I don’t think the incels would listen to or accept advice. Part of their whole brand is blaming every single flaw in their life on others and never acknowledging or correcting their own behavior. They don’t think what they’re doing is wrong, therefore (in my opinion) they wouldn’t have any reason to seek or listen to advice.
@@cokedupgirlscout Sad but true. I think that you've assessed their mindset perfectly.
Unfortunately I don’t think sex trafficking victims would listen to or accept advice. Part of their whole brand is blaming every single flaw in their life on others and never acknowledging or correcting their own behavior. They don’t think what they’re doing is wrong, therefore (in my opinion) they wouldn’t have any reason to seek or listen to advice.
Some peopledo think like this last guy; 'a god given right'
P.S bought your book, should arrive tomorrow x
I see repeat examples of why indoctrination of children into strict religions can be damaging to them mentally. But we know this doesn't only result in incels, it can have other awful effects too. As far as I can see with incels, it's a lot of not taking responsibility for their own behaviours, surely anyone who is an incel should be very seriously assessed for cluster b personality disorders as well??
I hope the people who genuinely want out get professional help to see just how damaging and dangerous their behaviour is.
I genuinely wouldn't be surprised if the last example was not a troll, my experience as a woman on the internet has come across far more insane and entitled incels. People who think I exist purely for my body and them to decide which "class" of man I should be forced to sleep with and breed with.
I do hope more help is made available, but I also hope that incels are recognised as dangerous hate groups and help is a part of sentencing if someone who commits a crime is found to be a part of one of these groups.
How will therapy make someone taller or better looking? Your comments are beyond idiocy.
@@johnkeane1419 you assume others place a lot of value in the physical just as the incels do. Therapy can help them become reasonable, responsible and kind. Capable of being loving partners and in a relationship that has equality and love both ways as opposed to entitlement and cruelty due to a strange hatred of women and themselves.
Therapy can teach self love and acceptance and then they can have a real personality shine through, wouldn't that be beautiful?
Hope everything is ok at home, therapy is never a stupid idea, mocking the idea of people benefitting from feeling better due to therapy.....well....that's just mean at the very least, John.
@@smurfetteSar you don't know anything about incels ... .. every group there is always bad people on it... well if you want the definition on an incel means a person who's genetics are inappropriate for reproduction...😄😄😄 just because you're an incels doesn't mean you're a criminal 😆😆😆 lol
Deadbug said to say hi! Loved the co lab! Please keep them comming!
Came from Deadbug. Just looking through your videos, very interesting
Welcome!
I guess we can call out to parents to encourage their children to be respectful to all, lessons about consent, find groups to join/volunteer to learn social skills & broaden options for life partners & watch your boys & hold them accountable for their behaviour.
I'm a 28 yr old autistic woman and havent had a realtionship in 5 years but I dont blame men for it let alone want to kill or harm men as a result. I just havent had the energy to do the whole dating thing and I have had friends I could get soicaliation from. I think a lot of men, especially nerurodivergent men rely on a girlfriend to get socialisaiton and emotional support rather than from a group of friends (as men dont want to share feelings with men). This leads them to isolation and depresssion and vunerable to fall into the cult of incels/redpill/mra/migtows.
Of course this does not justify violence or means its okay. Go to therepy, find a healthy community that boosts you up rather than fuels self hate and hatred towards others.
Well different for you as a woman because lots of men on the autistic spectrum have never dated or never had a single girlfriend in their whole life, and since autism affects a person socially it makes sense that it's going to affect men more than women do to how men have always been expected and probably forever will be expected to do the pursuing, men always being expected to approach women and build the attraction
@@nobodysperfect06 yes Autistic women and men will be effected differently because of societies expectations. Autistic women are highly socialised to mask their autism from childhood as well as socialised to internalise distress rather than externalise it with agression as such are less likely to be diagonosed until adulthood.
Autistic women are also going to be able to find a partner easier as we are socialised to supress our wants and needs in order to put others first which sure, means we can find a boyfriend but are far more vunerable to manipulation and likely to end up in a abusive relationship.
Unhealthy gender expectations harm both Autistic men and women as they harm both men and women in general.
@@rosiejl2798 yeah but autistic women I'd still say have the better end of the stick because they're less likely to be perpetually single than autistic men are or forever alone
@@rosiejl2798 It is also purely biological, in that most men find most women attractive while most women find most men unattractive.
@@rosiejl2798 yeah but at least autistic women stand a much better chance than autistic men at getting into a relationship, even you admit and say that, due to the forever long unfairness of men always being expected to court women and be the initiators
Got to admit, I feel for some of these guys to an extent but I really don't get why they need to get like they do about the whole thing.
I don't mind outing myself as autistic and saying I've struggled over the years with dating and all that. The thing is, the older you get, the more mature you get and you can work on yourself if you want to. I've ended up going on plenty of dates over the years (some great , some not) and myself and my girlfriend will be celebrating our thrid anniversary in a couple of weeks.
There's defintely hope for these people, even if they are from a marginalised group or don't fit societies 'ideal' look. I've got a few quite good looking mates who still struggle to find a girlfriend so it can't be solely down to looks anyway.
Absolutely right, be yourself whether you’re ‘normal’ (whatever that is supposed to be) or not, but be comfortable with yourself and your personality quirks. As soon as you start thinking it’s about how you look or dress, you’re losing.
Do incels really believe they are such because of how they look, or how they act?
Ditch the resentful attitude, stop blaming others, be yourself, be human, form relationships based on friendship and not on the lust for sex. Who knows, you might get lucky and rejoin the human race.
@@tornagawn incels think sex is all a relationship is., They have superficial notions of what they think woman want. They would be very jealous possessive partners if they did get a woman anyway. Their insecurity is their biggest problem. Incels aren't single because of how they look. They are single because of how they act! Quite frankly they don't deserve woman with their attitudes.
Why do they get the way they do? Why do they seem so angry, depressed? I mean the answer is simple: loneliness and isolation kill your heart and your mind and your soul. It kills you. It’s really that simple. This is what happens when someone is isolated from society for years on end. They either withdraw more and then kill themselves, or they go online and wallow in their misery and then possibly kill themselves.
For some men, women will not like you no matter what you do. No matter how much you improve. No matter how much you evolve, women will not want you. That’s the harsh reality.
@@tornagawn bollocks. You can’t just be yourself. That won’t work. You have to change to be more appealing. This whole “be yourself” thing is played out, tired, garbage. Incels need to change pretty much everything about themselves, which is the direct contradiction to being themselves.
@@beeftestosterone4840 Interesting username! What I mean is you cannot be someone or something you’re not. If you fake your personality you are doomed to fail. It doesn’t mean you cannot change.
Here from DEADBUG SAYS...I'm looking forward to Future projects with you 2 guys. I'm subscribed to this channel & plan on binging while I'm in hospital recovering from back surgery 🤘🏻
The media defines who is acceptable and unacceptable and the sheple follow
They don't have a half lobe between them.
Rule number one in life: nobody owes you anything. As a woman, I wouldn't reject someone just because he's less conventionally attractive. There is a lot more to attraction than physical appearance. Confidence and kindness go a long way. What turns me off to a guy is entitlement and female objectification. When you aren't successful at something and you want to be, study those who are and apply what you learn to your own life.
Nobody owes anyone anything.
So let’s abolish, welfare, healthcare, the right to vote, the right to an attorney, affirmative action, right to an abortion, to own property etc.
Let’s just have total might is right anarchy, those who have the strength to take shall take what they please.
@@johnwilliams655 I'm not sure why you interpreted my statement as an endorsement for anarchy and blatant human rights violations. I should have prefaced my statement with the Bill of Rights so that it couldn't be misconstrued and stretched to obscenity. Why are you so hostile? I hope you have a better night.
But if nobody is owed anything, why should rights of any kind exist since rights are based on the belief that people can be owed something?
@@johnwilliams655 let me get this straight if one agrees with basic human rights, one should also agree that people should have the right to get sex any time anywhere?
Looks are the first test if you fail that completely you will never be allowed to take the personality test.
Being constantly rejected and insulted by women, and being treated badly by them, can certainly engender feelings of anger, resentment and biterness.
I wish I could share your belief, that the last one is just a troll, but I've seen that opinion voiced in one form or another far too many times. Some men have a sincere belief, that they have the right to women's bodies.
I'm always left with one question: Have you tried actually being a kind person? Just being kind with the only goal being company.
Grow relations out of common interests, find someone to laugh with, not someone to hate with. Sincere kindness will make others interested in getting to know you. Don't just focus on what other people can give you. Just like you don't owe others something, they don't owe you anything either.
The first time I fell in love, it was with a short, pale, redhaired nerd with freckles and glasses. He was sweet, shy and intelligent, and that was what mattered. Almost 20 years later I'm with a short, chubby man, who's funny, nerdy and simply good company.
It's a clichée for a good reason, that what matters is what's inside.
To answer your question yes i have tried those things they make no difference at all
@@thestoneddog, it sounds like you did it with the goal of finding a romantic/sexual relationship. And no, then it doesn't work, because you aren't sincere.
@@Raztiana right so i just have to put in decades of work get nothing for it and like it. Load of bs
@@thestoneddog, well, I can see why people avoid you. I would too.
@@Raztiana why because i got tired of getting nothing for the effort i put in?
Found you on Deadbug’s podcast. I loved the collaboration. Great work.
Thanks for coming
In their ideology they are completely overthinking the way people interact, male female. What most women don’t really like is overthinking of issues which leads to over controlling of their interactions with the man/men they are with. No wonder they are struggling, the further they descend down this dark hole the worse they are going to get and the worse their dealings with women are going to end up. I think I am too old for things these days 🫣🫣🫣
No, women resent objective analysis of their behaviour because exposing their obvious preference for tall, attractive white men makes them uncomfortable. And yes, Boomers and SiGens have no understanding of the modern dating market.
They have probably started to overthink in an attempt to find solutions to their problem.
Love you Dr. Das ❤️
Love you too
They need to just realize sex is not that big of a deal and there is much more to a relationship than just sex. Women have trouble dating too, it is normal for everyone. Honesty gets you a long way.
Let's be realistic: I think almost all incels aren't just after the sex. They're clearly craving love, attention, someone to share thoughts and interests with
It isnt just sex that involuntary celibate men are looking for with women, that is part but not the whole part of the equation, it is the connection and closeness as well as relationships that most men want. It is also the validation and being seen that is also missing from many mens lives, I have had periods of involuntary celibacy even when I wasnt even physically unnattractive due to having such a poor self image and low self esteem when it came to my own perceived self worth with women, no young attractive woman is ever going to be an incel, but you still can be as a man. I dont think most women realise how little connection most men get from women.
@@rjflores438 exactly. Women frequently take physical intimacy for granted when they criticize incels. Something you can easily get is rarely appreciated in the same way.
@@High_Priest_Jonko THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU ! you are 100% correct, I'm sad so few people understand this
Sex is a big deal
They don't understand how much personality matters
Or perhaps they do.
If personality matters so much, how come 90% of women on Tinder stipulate that only 6'+ men need apply?
@@johnkeane1419 I don't know but I'll tell you one thing. I won't want to hold on to a 6ft + man if I don't like his personality. Physical appearance only draws people initially, it doesn't keep them in a relationship
@@uyoebyik Agreed, but you're also admitting that short/ugly men never get a chance in the first place. These issues cannot be suppressed anymore.
@@johnkeane1419 short men do have a chance and nobody is ugly if they have a good personality. I warm to and get attached to people who are kind, funny, intelligent, helpful etc someone I can have a relationship with. I don't care how tall a man is if he's childish, self obsessed and can't help me out with doing a bit of DIY around the house. If a man isn't good at doing manly things that's a huge turn off. What good is a tall man who can't even put up a curtain rail because he doesn't know how to screw something to a wall properly? The height is wasted on him. I'd rather a man who had to stand on a ladder but knew what he was doing
I've known about incels for sometime and it's sad because here are a group of guy's who feel they have failed at being "men" due to circumstances beyond their control and are made fun of for it. From the very few I have met and the ones I have seen online, it seems to me that these individuals are "lost boys". It's strange how my life parallels with an incel only I never once considered it to be the fault of anyone else other than myself.
I've heard some say that they didn't grow up with a male role model and were raised around females which is why they never learned how to be "masculine" or attract women. I have had a couple of ex girlfriends whose fathers had essentially told me that because I missed out on having a dad in those early years, I will never truly be a man.
I never believed in this notion that true masculinity comes in the form the "alpha" and it baffles my mind that people still buy into it. The "alpha" is nothing more than a boistrious egotistical ass who don't really have anything else going for them other than being that. And it's unfortunate that our societies look at these types as being something all men should strive to be.
"Men" have always come in different shapes and sizes. "Women" have always been attracted to "men" of all shapes and sizes. I'm sure any incel would hate to hear that personality DOES matter. Sure, some people at first glance don't look all that attractive, but have you ever met someone like that, got to know them and one day you find yourself attracted to them?
So what if you aren't going to be the one women swoon over when you walk into a room. If those women can't see your worth then those women aren't for you. The lesson I learned that I think everyone needs to keep in mind is that not everyone is for you and you are not for everyone.
I am not one of those guys who got attention from women everywhere I went. I was the "best guy friend", you know, the one who the girls always came to cry on my shoulder everytime some guy was an utter douche to them. I won't lie, there was a time where I resented it but at the same time I was given an opportunity most guys won't ever get. I had the chance to learn about what women really want and it's not the "alpha".
A lot of people need to feel secure in their relationship, that doesn't mean you have to make a lot of money or have a buff body, it means trusting yourself. If you don't know who you are, or have a general idea of where you are going, then you're a mindless boring drone. Walking around all day long looking at the things you don't have is taking away from the things you do have.
Who are you? What are your interests? Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? It may sound cliche, but that doesn't make it wrong. Your whole identity isn't what you lack but if you sell yourself as that, that's what turns people away.
Yes, be yourself. Find out what sparks your passion. Who cares if it's comic books, video games or role-playing? Who are you trying to impress? Trying to impress someone whose ideals put you in a category that's unfavourable to your chance of being with them is not worth your time. Once again, you are not for everyone and everyone is not for you. I don't look like the brawny guy, but I still attract women and I even turn them down.
I had to stop telling myself the story that I'm somehow broken and repulsive and start treating myself with the understanding and compassion that I give to others. I had to come to terms with the a hard truth, I had been in a life-long abusive relationship with myself. If you truly believe you are someone worthy of love, then treat yourself like it. I'm not talking about becoming the version of Prince Charming from Shrek 2, don't hide behind falsehoods, nobody likes that guy.
Make mistakes, don't be afraid to laugh at yourself and lighten up. Whatever beast you have created in that head of yours is what you use to protect yourself but it comes at a high price. Take the time to humble yourselves and know that no one will remember the beast when the person who you become has won the hearts of the people around you for simply being you. That's all part of the journey.
I just love your comment so much! Thank you 🌻
Beautifully described.
Everyone wants someone real, not someone pretending. If you go into a relation with more than just the sincere wish to actually get to know someone, they will feel it and push you away.
I can understand if women around you find your knowledge of yourself attractive, because it's a wonderful trait in a person.
@@Raztiana Very well said... so true 🌻
How is it your fault that you are short/ugly or whatever?
There are things within your control for sure that can help improve your chances. But statistics definitely aren't on the side of the average man. Fewer men under the age of 35 are partnering than at any other point in history. Dating has been distilled down to an environment in which 80% of women only go for the top 10-20% of men. Even for those of us that actually make an effort to stay fit, earn a good living, and have interesting pursuits, it's still an uphill battle.
"fringe right-wing movements like 4chan" ?
You seriously had me completely captivated until you said that, which instantly shattered all credibility and made me extremely skeptical of everything I just heard and everything that followed.
My good man, 4chan is obviously not a movement. It's an online forum catering to a diverse number of people with a wide variety of different interests.
Please tell me I'm misunderstanding your meaning, because to me it's coming off as unfathomably ignorant at best.
It reminds me of when the "circle game" sign started getting toted by leftist media as a white power symbol, when the whole thing started as a joke to show how stupidly gullible leftists are in their pursuit of "scary right wing" movements.
@@derek96720 ok but you know just because there's a certain law in America, doesn't mean the same law exists outside of your country? Look on the other side of the big pond.
They may be suffering but to turn to hating someone for something you have an ability to change yourself (self improvement) at least to a degree, is selfish and sn easy out for them
Self improvement won’t change a man’s dating situation because a man’s value (in the eyes of women) is based on things he can’t change; his height, facial structure and banana size. The only form of self improvement that has some weight is bodybuilding however muscles are still nowhere near as important as face/height/banana size (though they are more important than money which is almost entirely useless).
@@johnwilliams655weird that that's what you think women are attracted to. It's not true. You're way off...
@@pickledragonrebel It's is true. There are many scientific studies that have been done on this. Looks is all that matters for both men and women.
@@ctrlaltdefeatx2898 you haven't got a clue
@@johnwilliams655 Also, the ability to gain muscle is strongly determined by genetics, over which the bodybuilder has no control.
Even good looking and decent looking guys can have large periods of involuntarily celibacy. I myself have had 2 long term girlfriends in my life. Im now in my mid 30s. However I have also gone on periods of 2 years without even getting a date, even when I have put myself out there, and Im not a bad looking guy.
Pornography wrecks sex drives.
Deadbug sent me here, but I’ll stay for yet another handsome man who knows his crime 💋
If women don't owe men sex, and that's fine, and men don't know women money, attention, time, and protection.
Came here for dead bug, glad I did!
I just found you.... where have you been my entire life?? I'm in Nova Scotia Canada.
I'm an Empath and your channel is quickly becoming my all time favourite!
Just the fact that these individuals have a label for people is violence itself.
I have a question. How long does it take to be a consultant psychiatrist /and or the process please 🙏
a Millennium
The problem with a lot of these guys is that they don’t want the nice, funny girl who may only be a 5/10. Many of them are angry that they can’t get the Stacys of the world because they feel entitled to hot women. I wonder how they would treat a plain Jane who approached them in a club. Would they be kind or nasty to her? 🤔
You're referring to the misogynists and not involuntarily celibate men generally. I consider myself involuntarily celibate (I'm turning 40 next month. Still a virgin and not by choice. Never had a date in my life ) and I've definitely approached and tried connecting with women less than 5. They've shot me down too (because they're still women and they still have the say in which men are worth their attention regardless of how the women themselves look and act. Otherwise it would be rape )
What fantasy movie or comic book did you base that assumption on?
If there’s a man somewhere out there with standards, what is his name? Are there photographs of him? Why hasn’t he made himself know and given TV interviews?
@@johnwilliams655 op obviously has completely bought the medias corruption of involuntary celibate men to mean just the small subculture of misogynists.
Stereotyping incels as only wanting Stacy is pure anti male propaganda garbage which has been peddled for too long. If anything foids have insane standard which everyone thinks is justified.
@@Slenderman63323 I'm not stereotyping. I said a lot. Not all. And yes, many lonely people (men and women) would be less lonely if they were willing to give less physically attractive people a chance. The facts of life are that good-looking people will date other similarly attractive people. Men AND women who complain that they can't find anyone and are lonely may be punching above their weight in terms of who they find physically acceptable to date. And a steady diet of porn viewing will skew perceptions about what is attractive, given the lack of make up and studio lighting on the street, and what is attainable.
A simple answer is that "plain" even unattractive men should target women who are equally plain. It's tiring that men who have little to offer...in terms of career, intellect, looks, personality.....think they "deserve better". Absolutely they do not "deserve". Women have every right to choose whom they like and express their options. But in short, a great deal of peace and contentment would be achieved by accepting one doesn't have the pick of the crop but still has plenty of options picking people within their "level". Needless to say, a sullen, lazy and angry man will have very few options in life in general. That side is a choice.
Virtually every guy exclusively goes for girls that are visually below them. There’s studies that show that the more conventionally attractive a woman is (cliche model types), they less they get approached by men.
Fake tinder accounts with disfigured women also get more messages from men than fake accounts featuring female models.
“Little to offer in terms of intellect...”.
The average man is smarter than the average woman so by default, the average man is offering enough in that regard.
However there are about a dozen women on earth smarter than I am and obviously those individual women shouldn’t settle for anything less than a genius male.
Really ironic for a foid to say this when every foid, even obese, extremely short and ethnic foids believe they are entitled to White Chad. Their tinder habits prove all of this.
What does the average woman offer besides being halfway attractive? A guy has to have a laundry list of boxes checked in order to get even the plainest woman's attention, whereas she literally just has to exist. In the old days, men expected women to be good mothers, know how to cook and manage a home, etc. Now women have literally one box they need to check, which is don't be horribly ugly. And fortunate for them, men are much more flexible when it comes to how attractive their partners are than women, and that's a statistical fact.
Sad but also scary how they think and feel 😕
Found you on Deadbug now subscribed 😊
Tres intéressant.
Merci❤
Perhaps woman can smell the desperation? Pheromones?
When I was a teen, guys said that once they finally had sex, they were then more attractive to other girls. Maybe it is pheromones?
Behavior
@@forrestfey behaviour?
Women like attractiveness and confidence, ideally both at the same time. An average man isn't going to have confidence, given most men aren't even on women's radar, which will in turn make him even more unattractive to women.
More like we can smell the poor hygiene beneath the Axe body spray.
Most incels sems to be focusing on looks instead of personality and social skills. A guy with a toxic personality is totaly unatractive.
Not if he is good looking. There is actually a dating app experiment on TH-cam showing a man who said he was a pedofile in the bio, but was a very attractive man. And he got countess matches unsurprisingly. Then you obviously have cases like Ted bundy, and others who get letters written to them by women after they have committed whatever crime they did. And also studies showing how what most people would call a negative personality trait can be attractive to women.
“It's your personality, bro.”
Looks are what get you the "yes" to a date. Personality and charm are what seal the deal. Without looks, you're just a "silly friend."
You will always be a virgin even if you have the best personality in the world.
The world si plenty of men with toxic personalities in relationships with women.
Accutane causes birth defects more than terminate pregnancy, right?
Also I feel like one big problem is that these people feel like they can view women as objects and not as actual people.
Handsome pick up artists view women as objects too but it never holds them back.
That's because they're put on the Internet by men as objects or put themselves on there to be viewed as objects.
Everyone is an object, both men and women. We're objects with attributes that make us appealing. Women are no different in how they view men.
Not getting laid is an ideology now? LMAO WHAT?!?
I notice that the only post saying 'maybe I can change for the better' is temp banned and their post flared 'bloopill cope'. Probably banned for that post.
😂😂😂 americans... we always gotta blame others for our own short comings. smdh
Cope. Inceldom is global.
Their problem is bullying not calebacy. 13:00 ty, that's helpful
I'm so glad you discussed this topic. I would love to hear you talk on MGTOW also (men going their own way).
Pretty much the same thing.
Not the same at all, all though recently there has been some crossover between MGTOW and incels. Some of the big MGTOW content creators I strongly suspect are in fact incels. I m not the only one who thinks this. They might not be truecel incels but still incels nevertheless. I am a location cell myself, one of the few who will openly admit it.
Men Sent Their Own Way, you mean.
Men like this will often be autistic or have other neurodevelopmental disabilities. This means that they will struggle with social communication, language, and relationships
Don’t forget that military veterans are also a big one too and also bipolar men I would actaully.
'Where we're going, we don't need spoons'
Great video, I also appreciate the immunity to standing in dog poop. What other channel has benefits like this?!
Sounds a very simplistic, reductive, and cynical view of the world and half the population that live in it
To stop becoming involuntarily celibate I had to go out there and speak to women I found attractive on a daily basis. And I had to be the one to break the ice and talk to women I didn't know. If your in a busy city centre you can even go up and talk to women on the street in a respectful way. Most men get 0 interest from.women and rarely get approached, even if theu are decent looking guys. We have to change our subconscious beliefs with real world evidence as we know that women are.not just going to come knocking on our door.
4chan and anonymous disliked that.
What category am i in? basically already decided my family line ends with me, the way i see it there is a percentage of people throughout history that never find a partner and die alone, i accepted that im probably in this percentage, at least i have my dogs and cats to cope. XD
I'd be interested in watching what your thoughts are of the videos Jake Davison made leading up to the Keyham shooting
Why aren't you in series six of ICMAP
Mr Currycel bhai you made some errors.
Elliot Rodger was not a self described incel.
The court found that Alek Minassian’s motivation was not inceldom, rather he used inceldom to be more notorious. This was found by a female judge btw.
With your lack of attention to detail I don’t know how you are an expert witness in court cases. Or maybe you left out these points for an agenda?
Why do these men think they are entitled I was not bad looking when I was young I'm a woman, and slept around when I was young for the wrong reasons I do suffer with depression and anxiety and had a need to be loved and that I never found but in my late 20 I had a baby and made the choice not to carry on with my behaviour my child was more important to me I didn't want men coming in and out of his life the one thing about not ever meeting anyone is the conpaniship, but I realise now it was my own fault I did what I did because of my childhood that was very unhappy and filled with fear not love, there is a song I love by the smith's' How soon is now ' but you don't have a right to be loved, I find that these type of men have there mind set all wrong and that women out there never find love eather but don't feel the need to go out and kill or hurt enybody.....
Unless a female is literally deformed, her situation is just not comparable.
The overwhelming majority of men don't hurt anyone either. More over, women act out their hurtful impulses in different ways, especially when in positions of power. That's why violence by women goes up when the victims are children.
LDAR (urban dictionary) - Lay Down and Rot
15:07
Someone needs to contact law enforcement on that guy. He’s advocating murdering his sisters child…
For every pot there is a lid .
@apsychforsoreminds Dr Das, can you please help me understand why I have been watching 3:22 on repeat? I am sure there are deep psychological reasons for this.
I’m outraged by the concept of social value based on appearance, not what you do or the things you might volunteer for. But just how you look. And then there’s the whole opinion that women use make up to increase their social value and that women should be made to not wear makeup. This is not how to attract a woman
Yet women freely objectify men based on height and appearance, as Tinder statistics make clear.
I have a copy of Elliot Rodger's manifesto (along with a few others, yes I'm a weirdo) and it's 137 pages of inane waffle
"Inane waffle" wow, very insightful comment. Are you a professional psychologist by chance? You sound so educated.
Hi I’m re doing a comment I’m not sure if my last one got deleted because I swore on it! I just wanted to say you may want to report that guy who was talking about drugging his sister, I noticed that his profile picture in the post was of the school shooter serial killer currently on trial from mass murder in America, Nikolas Cruz. If he needed to be any more worrying!
i think it is similar to some problem that is happening in brazil where black women feel isolated because they feel men only want them for sex and not for marrying because they see that famous black men are marrying white women. i think is about not feeling accepted by society and feeling no able to compete that makes people frustrated and depressed
Sounds like social skills and conscious relationships classes are urgently required for young people these days. The art of communication and manners offline are essential for a healthy, caring society. There's too much isolation behind screens and keyboards now.
The thing is, everyone has something they are good at; that needs to be the focus then friendships happen and blossom naturally rather than forced in a 'party' type environment.
Obviously with serious mental disorders, that requires professional help. But for people who lack confidence, feel depressed etc, get a hobby away from screens. Even those who prefer being indoors reading can find book clubs with like-minded people. People have become too reliant on that piece of technology glued to their hand! Try leaving your phone at home next time you go for a walk, like ditching watches, it's liberating.
Do you know, there are now, or were, cuddle parties where people go to cuddle strangers as we are becoming so devoid of touch? This is both great and desperately sad!
Hi Dr. Das. It seems to me that men that don't like women are really crazy. The reason I've been divorced twice & had boyfriends in the past is because no one is real. I know that it's impossible for people to be serious all the time because I love being happy & feel uncomfortable when people don't act "normal". Everyone in my life has had some type of disorder or mental disability. Is being real a thing of the past? Hope everyone is cool & having a wonderful evening, peace& fascinating times hopefully await you, love, Janine Smiley😎😏😀🙂😘☕🍪☕🥧☕🍩🍯🍫✌👍
Great video! Subbed
Thanks for the sub!
its over😭
I don't think Arthur Miller was a "chad" to put it that way.
No, but he was a long time before Tinder and women being financial independent.
I disagree with your definition of incel being reduced to men who are upset they can’t get laid/ get a gf, That’s just standard male loneliness, what I think defines them is the belief that women owe men sex and that they’re entitled to women’s bodies
That's nowhere in the definition. Incel means "involuntarily celibate." That's it. All the crap about "entitlement" is just people coming up with reasons to make male loneliness one more red flag on the mountain of toxic masculinity.
Over her from deadbug.
An interesting delve into the murky world of incels. To me, the icel movement looks pretty cultic- with it's own language and ways of denigrating the outgroup, but instead of thinking themselves superior seem to revel in feeling inferior, yet entitled. If I was giving advice to any- I'd say to leave the incel forums behind as it just continues a negative cycle that is counterproductive. Go out and join an evening class in something you're interested in- where there is no pressure to socialise too much but you have that option. Get a voluntary job where you meet people- expect to feel a bit uncomfortable- going outside the comfort zone in stages will bring the chances to grow that stewing on forums won't.
Are incels only heterosexual? Or can you be Gay & incel?
Most gaycels are volcels or standardcels. This means their standards are too high for their SMV, or Sexual Market Value. Like most women, most gay men can get sex very easily.
Is this what the NHS does when they're on strike?
I have trouble believing the "involuntary" part if the guys have been in this community very long. They could be joining groups that have women or getting advice from guys who are dating. There are plenty of people who aren't conventionally attractive who still date. Elliott Rodger wasn't unattractive on the outside. It sounds like rejection sensitivity and underdeveloped social skills for the less creepy of the group. The others have problems that won't be solved by finding a date.
I watched the interrogation video of Alex Minassian, who killed10 and injured 16 people in Toronto in April 2018. Very scary, as Count Floyd of 2nd City TV would say. Just real. As an adolescent in the 1970s I had ance and was awkward but ideas like this never crossed my mind. Instead, I worked on myself, much like what Jordan Peterson said to his audience in Tallinn on 20 June 2022, in his answer run the question : how do I find the perfect partner. The answer was make yourself a perfect partner. Sorry, a digression but it has some relevance here. This advice worked for me and, I believe, works in general. But I have another connexion to.this story through my sister, who lives near Toronto and believes in conspiracy theories. At about the same time there was a change of government in Armenia, which she attributed to Putin (Minassian is an Armenian name) and a meeting of the G7 was about to take place in Canada and my sister though Minassian was a Russian agent sent to disrupt the summit. Pretty hairy stuff but for me, a relatively sane person would struggle to develop the incel ideology ex nihilis. They also underline how internet groups can be harmful, magnifying harmful perceptions. That's why we need channels like this, run by knowledgeable professionals like Dr Das.
I was hoping you went into this topic!
Well one thing for sure is that I highly doubt there will ever be a female version of Elliot Rodger or George Sodini, as in, it doesn't seem possible or I just don't ever see a woman committing a massacre due to being angry and upset because she doesn't have a boyfriend or is unable to get a boyfriend.
But there have been numerous incidents like that from a male perpetrator in history, Elliot Rodger and George Sodini being examples.
Probably because most people and society agree that women always have options, another TH-cam user, Chris Williamson, he has done interesting videos on this topic
Before I clicked to watch, I was kind of hoping there would be a more thorough analysis of the *patterns* of behaviors these incels demonstrate, PLUS the underlying causes as to why these guys en masse spend their lives in a communal emotional black hole.
Because there _is_ a pattern (or more than one) that outlines if you take a closer look at the incel community.
I.e. leftover and current issues with the parents. (The "leftover" might come from as early as the Oedipal phase). Also, environmental factors such as - religious bigotry embedded in the family/culture which inevitably results in repressed urges and emotions. (OK this one you got covered)
More importantly, most (if not all) of them must struggle with certain forms or severity of attachment disorder. (See again: deeply rooted issues parents/primary caregivers.)
And finally. They constantly swirl inside of a dark hurricane of which they are *unable to see the way out*
They think there's a "recipe" or some sort of instruction manual which will tell them how to behave&/look to "be normal". Already an unhealthy approach. They are SO preoccupied with the "how-to's" that they don't realize they have broader problems than 'not getting laid'.
My opinion is that these incel dudes *channel all their frustration into ONE SINGLE (pseudo-)issue* so the question "why don't I have a girlfriend?" is misleading. They mislead themselves, they lack self-awareness, so they get deeper and deeper in the murky mud of mental disorders. As for the misogyny part, and entitlement ("Girls OWE ME sex!") It is a very common view in the incel world.
Elliot Rodgers was the prime example of it.
So that last comment you read WAS real, and a lot more representative as to what incelism is about than the others your "YT elves" picked for you.
The people who are considerate and/or more insightful are the minority in that community. And they surely reinforce one another's behaviours over and over again on these forums. It's a never-ending cycle - the hurricane never stops, and gets thicker and darker by the day.
So - wow, I typed a lot! - all in all, the core problems of these boys and men is what's to address.
The "I don't get sex" rage just distills all their anger, frustration, emotional disorders, etc And they happy to pinpoint their broader psychological problems to one single issue.
I'm done.