I think you should keep them for your boys, they will really appreciate it someday, if you just pack them away and give them to them someday! They will treasure them probably
Agreed. My parents divorce finalized when I was just over a year old and my Mum was so hurt about it that all photos og them together were destroyed. I understand why but I grew up not even knowing what my dad looked like and that stung. Of course, I imagined that he looked and behaved like Jesus, talk about disappointment when I did meet him at age 11! 😂
My dad got rid of all the pics of him & my mom including their wedding pics. Those are my parents. That was selfish & unfair of him to rob me, his grandkids & future generations of that history. Personally, I think it was his GF that caused him to do that or him wanting to forget the past. It was hurtful & selfish.
As a kid of divorced parents I really treasure the pictures I do have of my parents together. Their story is technically the beginning of my story so it's nice to have those to look at. I can also say my brother really appreciates those pictures too so it's not just a female thing 😂
Keep the pictures for the boys! I wish my parents would have kept theirs pictures together so we could have images of them - together. It’s nice to see them in one image the older we all get. Maybe do a “for the boys box” and store the good ones there. It could also just be me.
I agree, a memory box for the children to check in the future is a great idea. Just putting everything away in a box and forget about until the children are older. It's obvious she's not ready to make decisions now, and that's ok.
Hi, Mai. It is good to have you back! I've been divorced for a while and have 2 now-grown kids. I would put the memorabilia aside for a while (like a few years if possible). Obviously, feelings are raw and will be for a while. I recently went through stuff (I have been divorced for more than 20 years (and moved 4x in that period. But I found that there was a lot I wanted to keep for my children. They had 2 parents and I want them to have the pictures of us together as a family because it was part of their lives.
I went through a divorce with my son's father, and I too had the same process as you with the deleting the memories. But short story first My son's father passed away and I wish that I kept more photos of our life together for the sake of my son. My son had a very hard time dealing with his passing and all I wanted to do is give him all that I had to comfort him. I hope this helps.
As someone who's been through a separation and sharing a child with that person. I kept a few pictures so I can give them to our child when they ask about my past and how I met their father. There will be some pictures that will get you emotional so I suggest you go through them when your kids aren't home and take lots of breaks so it won't be too much.
I have gotten rid of mostly everything in my life that had bad memories. I don’t like having that energy around me. Learned that in my mid 30s. Tossed hundreds of pictures, all my yearbooks, cards, books, “sentimental” stuff that caused bad feelings. Feel much lighter because of it. I would put it all in a box and hide it in your attic. Set an alert for 1-2 years for now on your phone to revisit it. If you still feel the same way at that point then maybe it’s time to get rid of it. But your feelings may change in that time.
Speaking as a child of divorced parents, I was a toddler when they separated and I would be thrilled to see photos of them together. The photos no longer exist sadly 😥
Mai the last time I watched a video of yours was when my daughter was pregnant n you gave me grandma tips. My grandson is now 3 n I found you again. I am so sorry about yr divorce My take on the memory box is to keep it for the kids to show them that at one time you were a happy family. I wish you best in the future n enjoy yr trip.
I’m late on this, but save the stuff for your kids! My parents divorced in the 90s. When my mom died a few years back, I cherished those wedding pictures. I totally understand why my parents wouldn’t want those pics, but for me, it’s my history and it’s 2 people I love very much.
I separated from my ex in 1998. My kids were 2 & 3. I kept photos in a photo box in the closet. They were still accessible in case my kids wanted to look through them. Once grown, I gave my kids the photos. They are out of my house and my kids have the memories they cherish, even though they were memories I definitely did not cherish.
You always motivate me to clean with your fun attitude. With regards to pictures, someone once told me to give time time. You are going through the grieving 🔁cycle and things will feel different as time goes on. Hang in there Mai.
I would pack the memorabilia in those black heavy-duty boxes and stored them in the back of the attic - like behind the shelves; not one of the places you see every time you walk in. At some point in the future, it won't hurt that much and you'll feel strong enough to go through them.
Welcome back, Mai. I hope we see more of you this year. I need to update my cleaning cart. Put the photos away for awhile. Deal with them later. Take your time. Some photos may be important to your kids when they grow up.
My mom and dad got divorced when I was a baby so I have no memories of them together but it’s still nice to have some of their wedding/first year of my life photos. I did declutter a lot of them. My mom and stepdad divorced after 26 years of marriage and that one hit me harder and I am SO glad I have the memories to look back on as he’s still part of my life and they are why I have my half brothers. I would separate the ones of you and your ex from just you. Put the ones of you and your ex in a special box for your kids later and you never have to see it again. The ones of just you keep in a different box for looking back on later.
If you wanted to, you could probably get the pics digitized and saved separately (ex. in a hard drive). Yes, it could be a little pricey but it’s a one time expense and you may be comfortable getting rid of the physical pics. If down the road your boys want the pictures, they would have access but you aren’t physically saving something you don’t feel great about.
I hope you vid and post your 'zimmy' one of these days. I'll bet its adorable. I just love metaphors. This is such a good one. Its a metafive or even a metasix. Way beyond phor.
My previous life was from 16-35 with 3 kids, so almost the same as you 😊 I kept one wedding picture and some pictures from just me or me and the kids during that time, and of course the kids have their own photo albums. All the rest I shoved in a box and gave it to him. I'm 53 now and still don't regret my decision. You do whatever works for you, and that will be the best solution 😘
You are so beautiful! Take care. You will find someone of your dreams ❤❤ I did when I was 44. Divorced twice, but now I'm so happy and thankful. Put God first❤❤❤
Always love how REAL your videos are!! Thank you for sharing your content!!! For the attic question of the day, I hope that as you heal, those old pictures will be memories that you can look at and not feel triggered by! (Also been in a similar situation!) sending you lots of positive vibes!!
You are so strong. Not married yet but I haven't handled break ups well with one particular person let alone getting a divorce. I'd probably be really down but of course it depends on the matters that led up to it. I'm glad you've made your peace with it and are happier for it.
My parents divorced and I still appreciated having family pictures and pictures of my parents before I was born. I know it's easier said than done to keep pictures around for your kids, but there will be a time when you'll feel nothing (or less anger, sadness, annoyance, etc) when you see pictures of your ex.
I agree with the majority in the comments section. Keep the photos for the boys. Remember that they still love you and their dad even if you two aren't together anymore. Would love to see the attic re-organize if you plan on filming that! Also, my intentions for 2024 include making myself and my health a priority. I've really fallen off the wagon when it comes to my good habits. I lost over 15 lbs and dropped two pant sizes last year, only to gain back 12 lbs over the holidays and barely squeeze into my new jeans. 🤦🏻♀
I think box up the memorabilia and mark it so you don't open it accidentally. Your boys may like to visualize things from your past or see how they look like their dad. You can always get rid of it another time, but you can't get them back.
Okay so my ex and I weren’t together anywhere near as long, however we did go through some pretty big life events together. My advice would be to hang onto any pictures and other items, because some day you may feel differently. Maybe you won’t be able to look at pictures and think “oh that was a beautiful day spent with him” but you might remember the small things that will always bring you joy.
I used to buy from thrive market and it is a super cool thing to do….one day I’ll go back to them…..btw…great video❤ I was married 32 years and never regretted getting divorced….we are civil to each other….but my sons are the best thing that ever happened to me….I gave away a lot of the together pics…to my ex or sons and then I kept just the ones that gave me happy memories…the others got tossed….photo albums went through heavy organizing…most were tossed…I also took pics on my iPad and threw away the actual photo…less stuff….😊
Nice to see a longer video from you! Thanks! For the Q and A, Are you going skiing with a gentleman friend? And do you have another job? Thanks, Cindy 💗🌻
I would say give it and yourself time. Looking at them right now today may give you bad feelings but maybe in 5 years you could look at them and go ok it’s my childhood/ high school times. I wouldn’t get rid of them as they are such a big part of your life. Or if even in how many years you still don’t like to look at them, for sure keep some memories for your kids as they will enjoy looking back on how young you both were and the different styles and times.
So glad to see your post ! Been missing you. ❤❤ Put the photos away for now. Deal with it later. You boys will be interested in them so DON’T just throw them out. Some day you too may change your mind. Trust me I’m 62 now and now my EX and I are just grandparents to our grandkids, so that’s all good. Besides today it’s not a priority.
As a divorced mom of 3 kids now grown, I did keep the pictures of their dad and me with them . I wanted so badly to chuck them, but he’s still their father. The kids were very young when we got divorced, but I regress now my children are very happy that I’ve kept them. Especially my daughter, I think when my boys get married if they choose to or they are a lot older they will want to reminisce with each other. Keep the pictures, I even had our wedding pictures, my kids got a kick out of those, how young we were. Keep them for the kids, they can decide what they want to do with them
Super motivating, great video! I would keep the box out of sight for a couple of years and then go through and declutter them. It sounds like it’s still a bit too soon, and maybe later you can detach him from vacation memories
Something that has been therapeutic for me of pictures with my ex husband is shittly editing him our of the photos and keeping myself in them. They look terrible, but I now laugh instead of cry when I look at the memories.
I would definitely go through the box and separate all the things that bring that negative vibe and label it for the boys to go through when they are older and if they want to trash it at that time than they can but at least you don’t have to deal with it at that point
I appreciate your videos… thank you for sharing your process and thoughts… I am in the process of moving and same thing… ran across old pics of my ex husband. I am saving the pics for our son.
Hey! I just started watching some of your videos & came across this one. About the stain on the little mattress….. you can get men’s shaving cream Barbasol I think that’s how you spell it, anyways spread over stain & let set for at least 30 minutes to an hour & just scrub with a cloth. No water no nothing needed!! If it doesn’t work all the way or none at all then reapply & let it soak for a few hours. But most of the time it normally works in just a few minutes 😊😊😊 happy cleaning!! 😅😅😅😅😅
Oh and for all your pics & things of your life when you were married….. I was in the same situation & what I did was I saved what I could or wanted for my kids to have when they got older which they are grown now but I gave them the pics of our wedding & life together. Things I kept from our wedding I saved for them also. So it’s just whatever you still have & don’t mind keeping it packed for them for the future is totally up to you, my daughters were glad I did that. I hardly ever see him & or speak to now that my kids are grown so I hardly ever catch myself thinking about something we did or shared ect. But anyways, yea it’s totally up to you what those items are that you will pass down to them. ♥️
Keep the pics. You will want to share with the kids. They'll have projects for school. Plus They'll ask questions about things that happened in your lives. Eventually, you will be able to look back fondly at your past.
I would make a small album for the kids to keep in their rooms, and I would ask my mom to keep the rest of the pictures so the kids can go through them if they would like. I totally get not wanting to have bad memories in your house.
So good to see you back, Mai! I've missed you and hope you'll be on TH-cam more frequently this year. Your year in dating sounds like a great idea. Have fun on your ski trip! XXOO ❤️
My mom only kept one photo (from the wedding) of her with her first husband. She gave it to my brother (the only child they had together) when he was adult and he was happy to get that.
I've kept the photos of myself and my ex for our son. We had a bad relationship , he wasnt a very nice person and we were both very young and immature. But after 20 years we get along fine. Seeing him or talking to him doesn't bother me at all. Took a few years but were on good terms.
Keep all the ones of you and your ex with the boys! And keep a few of your wedding because your sons will likely want to see a few pictures of that one day :)
Finally!!! Yay Could not wait until you posted again... my fav youtuber☺️☺️ Also perfect timing. I have not had the motivation to clean my room and declutter my kitchen. Definetly overdue for a cleaning. This will be perfect to get me moving.
So I was married from 17-31, my high school sweetheart, 4 kids, and when we divorced as far as memorabilia you can get rid of some but when your ready for pictures which are the hardest part, keep what you think the kids will want and make a small box for them in the future. Facebook definitely make a new one and please please please do a de clutter organization video!! Lol hope it helped and love you!
Was w my ex husband since college & now divorced for over 8 yrs. I think u should wait before making any decisions on the photos. Many u can share w ur boys. I got rid of a majority of wedding pix & albums(had tons that friends made for me too). Saved one for my boys. Haven’t dealt w the albums that I have from vacays w ex before kids but I’m not worried about them nor ok not traumatized from my ex either. Good luck ur doing amazing!!❤
I’m so sorry to hear about that memento box thing. That is super tough. On the one hand I’m sure your boys will treasure it some days on the other the amount of stress and anxiety it brings you up would say get it completely out of your house, maybe give it to your moms for a few years. I’m sure soon you’ll be married to the guy of your dreams and then if you randomly run into that box it won’t hurt as much hopefully. I totally get what you mean about feeling like you wasted all your time but I promise that’s not what it was. It completely shaped you to ego you are today
So I went through the memorabilia thing with an ex husband who was my husband during twenty years. During a long time, I couldn’t even look at the photos. But I kept them for my sons. I don’t care for these photos even now, but I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t lived all this. My sons don’t have the same feeling as mine of course, and after all, it’s their father. So if I was in your shoes, I would put everything in a box and would keep them for when your children will be old enough to appreciate them, especially as you have boys, they will need to see how their father was before the divorce. I have two sons too and I see how they react as adults. That’s my point of view on this matter, now you do whatever you want with it.
The tub of pictures & memorabilia can easily go unseen & unnoticed for years & years in a corner of the attic 😂 just leave them til your 100% certain on what you want to do with them.
I'd make it a project. I would have 3 or 5 bins (you, ex, boys individually/ corporately) and a trash can. This way you can tackle item by item as what you want to keep, what is just of your ex for your ex, and what could be you two together for your boys as a corporate box or boy by boy individually. I'm sure you have some pictures of just you and other friends that don't include your ex that you want to keep and need to be separated from the pictures that are of or include your ex. But removing your ex's pictures from your life sounds healthy.
Not divorced, but my instinct would be to wait 3-5 years before you go through those photos. You'll have more clarity down the line about what you do and don't want to keep when the divorce doesn't feel so fresh. (Also, my parents are happily married, but have pretty much zero photos of the first 20 years of their marriage and it makes me as a kid so sad. Your kids will probably love to see those photos one day, even if they're painful for you.)
I’m kind of in your situation just still in the marriage. Three kids, I’m 34 about to be 35. We have been married for ten years and probably shouldn’t have but we found out I was pregnant two days before nursing school graduation. We both are figuring out where to go next.. I say keep these things but keep them away from you, put up somewhere. Your kids may want them one day. I love the pictures I have of my parents who divorced when I was six and they needed to divorce. But as their only child, I like having their old random pictures. Maybe toss certain ones and keep some for them in a little box. You are awesome and so glad I found your channel again! Second video watching and I’m like dang this is all super relatable on my level. lol 😆
When I divorced my ex, going on 14 years now, I gave him any pictures that were of him and the kids and his family. I kept pictures that were of me and the kids and my family I also kept any pictures of him and I and the kids ,or just him and I, for my girls to have one day. I've kept wedding pictures for them, too. I may have given him any duplicates of him, I and the kids (I don't really remember now). I don't look back on the time as fond memories but my kids might. I figure one day they can toss the pics if they want to. Mine are mostly in albums and are stored in a closet. I was going to put all the pictures into photo boxes but I asked my kids how they wanted to inherit the pictures one day and they said they liked the albums. So, albums it is. lol Glad to see a video from you!
Save the memorabilia for your boys. They will treasure them. If he’s not in your mind, you’ve blocked him out, put the lids on the totes and put them in the attic or basement and leave it.
I wouldn’t worry about that memory bin for now. Everything is still too fresh if it’s bringing on any stress. I would shove it in the back somewhere and see if I can better deal with it in 6 months. If not, put it back and find another time lol
I also went through basically the same thing as you. It took me a few years to be able to not go through the memory bins without emotionally shutting down, but eventually I paired it down to one rubber maid smaller tote. I do have a daughter and maybe she would want that stuff, I’m unsure but I’ll let her decide to keep or throw it once she is older. Also I threw away anything that didn’t fit in there like giant wedding photos… no one needs those around 😜
With my 1st husband from 20 to 35. Got rid of all pics with him including all wedding photos except one with just me and Mom. Never looked back, never missed them. (I’m 60 now). For ones that contain a child, I would put a few in their memory boxes and discard the rest.
I do feel like you need to keep the photos for your sons. That way they know mommy and daddy had a happy point of their life later on when they get to questioning things more. But I’d definitely put them in a fire proof box in a dark corner of your house you won’t think about them until you have to!
This is wild to me. I literally have a couple of natural multi purpose cleaners I use for everything; and some reusable cloths (for cleaning, dusting etc - toilet cleaned with toilet paper and then flushed away). Vacuum, mop. Sometimes use vinegar and baking soda. Easy. Fascinating to watch this though.
Everyone whos saying keep the photos. I would say keep one small album. The big moments. 3 wedding pics, family photos, holidays. Thats it. It shouldnt be your burdin to keep large boxes like that to hurt u. And if possible maybe ask your parents to keep the album so its not in your house and not thrown away? Maybe until the kids are older and see if one of them wants it
I would take it easy don't put too much pressure on yourself to deal with the pictures, you'll know when your ready ❤❤❤❤❤I maybe wrong just an opinion all the best
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Give the memories to your boys later on! Although y’all aren’t together, the boys will cherish to see their parents were once together and happy
I think you should keep them for your boys, they will really appreciate it someday, if you just pack them away and give them to them someday! They will treasure them probably
I was going to comment this. My husbands parents are divorced but he loves the pics that he has of them (his mom gave them to him recently)
Agreed. My parents divorce finalized when I was just over a year old and my Mum was so hurt about it that all photos og them together were destroyed. I understand why but I grew up not even knowing what my dad looked like and that stung. Of course, I imagined that he looked and behaved like Jesus, talk about disappointment when I did meet him at age 11! 😂
Agree! My parents are divorced and I literally have one photo of them together when they were happy together. I wish I had more of them together.
My dad got rid of all the pics of him & my mom including their wedding pics. Those are my parents. That was selfish & unfair of him to rob me, his grandkids & future generations of that history. Personally, I think it was his GF that caused him to do that or him wanting to forget the past. It was hurtful & selfish.
As a kid of divorced parents I really treasure the pictures I do have of my parents together. Their story is technically the beginning of my story so it's nice to have those to look at. I can also say my brother really appreciates those pictures too so it's not just a female thing 😂
Keep the pictures for the boys! I wish my parents would have kept theirs pictures together so we could have images of them - together. It’s nice to see them in one image the older we all get. Maybe do a “for the boys box” and store the good ones there. It could also just be me.
I agree, a memory box for the children to check in the future is a great idea. Just putting everything away in a box and forget about until the children are older. It's obvious she's not ready to make decisions now, and that's ok.
Hi, Mai. It is good to have you back! I've been divorced for a while and have 2 now-grown kids. I would put the memorabilia aside for a while (like a few years if possible). Obviously, feelings are raw and will be for a while. I recently went through stuff (I have been divorced for more than 20 years (and moved 4x in that period. But I found that there was a lot I wanted to keep for my children. They had 2 parents and I want them to have the pictures of us together as a family because it was part of their lives.
I went through a divorce with my son's father, and I too had the same process as you with the deleting the memories. But short story first My son's father passed away and I wish that I kept more photos of our life together for the sake of my son. My son had a very hard time dealing with his passing and all I wanted to do is give him all that I had to comfort him. I hope this helps.
In my opinion, I'm with the group that says keep them for your boys. At some point they'll want to see old photos and eventually show their kids.❤
As someone who's been through a separation and sharing a child with that person. I kept a few pictures so I can give them to our child when they ask about my past and how I met their father. There will be some pictures that will get you emotional so I suggest you go through them when your kids aren't home and take lots of breaks so it won't be too much.
I have gotten rid of mostly everything in my life that had bad memories. I don’t like having that energy around me. Learned that in my mid 30s. Tossed hundreds of pictures, all my yearbooks, cards, books, “sentimental” stuff that caused bad feelings. Feel much lighter because of it. I would put it all in a box and hide it in your attic. Set an alert for 1-2 years for now on your phone to revisit it. If you still feel the same way at that point then maybe it’s time to get rid of it. But your feelings may change in that time.
Speaking as a child of divorced parents, I was a toddler when they separated and I would be thrilled to see photos of them together. The photos no longer exist sadly 😥
Love the long video!!! Bring em back! You’re my fav! ❤️
Mai the last time I watched a video of yours was when my daughter was pregnant n you gave me grandma tips. My grandson is now 3 n I found you again. I am so sorry about yr divorce My take on the memory box is to keep it for the kids to show them that at one time you were a happy family. I wish you best in the future n enjoy yr trip.
I’m late on this, but save the stuff for your kids! My parents divorced in the 90s. When my mom died a few years back, I cherished those wedding pictures. I totally understand why my parents wouldn’t want those pics, but for me, it’s my history and it’s 2 people I love very much.
Hurray! A real video - I really miss your full videos (not a big fan of shorts) please make more ❤
I separated from my ex in 1998. My kids were 2 & 3. I kept photos in a photo box in the closet. They were still accessible in case my kids wanted to look through them. Once grown, I gave my kids the photos. They are out of my house and my kids have the memories they cherish, even though they were memories I definitely did not cherish.
Definitely save the memories for your boys. They need to see those pictures.
You always motivate me to clean with your fun attitude. With regards to pictures, someone once told me to give time time. You are going through the grieving 🔁cycle and things will feel different as time goes on. Hang in there Mai.
Girl! I LOVE your shorts but REALLY love your full length videos! Keep em coming! ❤
I would pack the memorabilia in those black heavy-duty boxes and stored them in the back of the attic - like behind the shelves; not one of the places you see every time you walk in. At some point in the future, it won't hurt that much and you'll feel strong enough to go through them.
Welcome back, Mai. I hope we see more of you this year. I need to update my cleaning cart. Put the photos away for awhile. Deal with them later. Take your time. Some photos may be important to your kids when they grow up.
Skiing vacation sounds fun!
Absolutely save photos for the kids. It's their history and they love you both. They originated out of love.❤
Yesss. Please more longer videos 😊 I missed them
My mom and dad got divorced when I was a baby so I have no memories of them together but it’s still nice to have some of their wedding/first year of my life photos. I did declutter a lot of them. My mom and stepdad divorced after 26 years of marriage and that one hit me harder and I am SO glad I have the memories to look back on as he’s still part of my life and they are why I have my half brothers. I would separate the ones of you and your ex from just you. Put the ones of you and your ex in a special box for your kids later and you never have to see it again. The ones of just you keep in a different box for looking back on later.
If you wanted to, you could probably get the pics digitized and saved separately (ex. in a hard drive). Yes, it could be a little pricey but it’s a one time expense and you may be comfortable getting rid of the physical pics. If down the road your boys want the pictures, they would have access but you aren’t physically saving something you don’t feel great about.
I hope you vid and post your 'zimmy' one of these days. I'll bet its adorable. I just love metaphors. This is such a good one. Its a metafive or even a metasix. Way beyond phor.
My previous life was from 16-35 with 3 kids, so almost the same as you 😊 I kept one wedding picture and some pictures from just me or me and the kids during that time, and of course the kids have their own photo albums. All the rest I shoved in a box and gave it to him. I'm 53 now and still don't regret my decision. You do whatever works for you, and that will be the best solution 😘
You are so beautiful! Take care. You will find someone of your dreams ❤❤ I did when I was 44. Divorced twice, but now I'm so happy and thankful. Put God first❤❤❤
Always love how REAL your videos are!! Thank you for sharing your content!!!
For the attic question of the day, I hope that as you heal, those old pictures will be memories that you can look at and not feel triggered by! (Also been in a similar situation!) sending you lots of positive vibes!!
Yay I’ve missed your longer videos! You are one of my favorite to watch because you keep mom life real!
Yayyyyyyyy!!! A full video! Thank you 💗and I need to try thrive market again so I will use your code/link if I do
So glade your back
🥰🥰💕💕
Yes, I have missed your videos so much.
You are so strong. Not married yet but I haven't handled break ups well with one particular person let alone getting a divorce. I'd probably be really down but of course it depends on the matters that led up to it. I'm glad you've made your peace with it and are happier for it.
My parents divorced and I still appreciated having family pictures and pictures of my parents before I was born. I know it's easier said than done to keep pictures around for your kids, but there will be a time when you'll feel nothing (or less anger, sadness, annoyance, etc) when you see pictures of your ex.
I agree with the majority in the comments section. Keep the photos for the boys. Remember that they still love you and their dad even if you two aren't together anymore. Would love to see the attic re-organize if you plan on filming that!
Also, my intentions for 2024 include making myself and my health a priority. I've really fallen off the wagon when it comes to my good habits. I lost over 15 lbs and dropped two pant sizes last year, only to gain back 12 lbs over the holidays and barely squeeze into my new jeans. 🤦🏻♀
I think box up the memorabilia and mark it so you don't open it accidentally. Your boys may like to visualize things from your past or see how they look like their dad. You can always get rid of it another time, but you can't get them back.
Okay so my ex and I weren’t together anywhere near as long, however we did go through some pretty big life events together. My advice would be to hang onto any pictures and other items, because some day you may feel differently. Maybe you won’t be able to look at pictures and think “oh that was a beautiful day spent with him” but you might remember the small things that will always bring you joy.
I already miss your long videos. Even though I watch all your short videos, I already miss the long ones, thank you 🫶🫶🫶
I used to buy from thrive market and it is a super cool thing to do….one day I’ll go back to them…..btw…great video❤ I was married 32 years and never regretted getting divorced….we are civil to each other….but my sons are the best thing that ever happened to me….I gave away a lot of the together pics…to my ex or sons and then I kept just the ones that gave me happy memories…the others got tossed….photo albums went through heavy organizing…most were tossed…I also took pics on my iPad and threw away the actual photo…less stuff….😊
Mai's cleaning service! ❤ love it
Adding avocado to the burger for more nutrients sounds like a win!
I use this cart for kids books. Keep the pictures, show them to your kids.
I’m in a similar situation and don’t want the photos but I’ve saved them for our son if he wants too see them one day.
🔥🔥🔥 Burn the wedding pictures and stuff with some friends! I forgot what you did with your wedding dress.
Nice to see a longer video from you! Thanks! For the Q and A, Are you going skiing with a gentleman friend? And do you have another job? Thanks, Cindy 💗🌻
I love the cleaning stuff in a cart
I would say give it and yourself time. Looking at them right now today may give you bad feelings but maybe in 5 years you could look at them and go ok it’s my childhood/ high school times. I wouldn’t get rid of them as they are such a big part of your life. Or if even in how many years you still don’t like to look at them, for sure keep some memories for your kids as they will enjoy looking back on how young you both were and the different styles and times.
So glad to see your post ! Been missing you. ❤❤ Put the photos away for now. Deal with it later. You boys will be interested in them so DON’T just throw them out. Some day you too may change your mind. Trust me I’m 62 now and now my EX and I are just grandparents to our grandkids, so that’s all good. Besides today it’s not a priority.
I can’t believe you’re looking through that bin of memories! I literally just watched your video of you filling that bin. Lol
Happy to see a new video from you, Mai. We've missed you!
As a divorced mom of 3 kids now grown, I did keep the pictures of their dad and me with them .
I wanted so badly to chuck them, but he’s still their father. The kids were very young when we got divorced, but I regress now my children are very happy that I’ve kept them. Especially my daughter, I think when my boys get married if they choose to or they are a lot older they will want to reminisce with each other.
Keep the pictures, I even had our wedding pictures, my kids got a kick out of those, how young we were. Keep them for the kids, they can decide what they want to do with them
Super motivating, great video! I would keep the box out of sight for a couple of years and then go through and declutter them. It sounds like it’s still a bit too soon, and maybe later you can detach him from vacation memories
Something that has been therapeutic for me of pictures with my ex husband is shittly editing him our of the photos and keeping myself in them. They look terrible, but I now laugh instead of cry when I look at the memories.
Your home is so beautiful!
Shoving that ish to the back of the attic for another time is a great idea 😂
I would definitely go through the box and separate all the things that bring that negative vibe and label it for the boys to go through when they are older and if they want to trash it at that time than they can but at least you don’t have to deal with it at that point
I appreciate your videos… thank you for sharing your process and thoughts… I am in the process of moving and same thing… ran across old pics of my ex husband. I am saving the pics for our son.
Hey! I just started watching some of your videos & came across this one. About the stain on the little mattress….. you can get men’s shaving cream Barbasol I think that’s how you spell it, anyways spread over stain & let set for at least 30 minutes to an hour & just scrub with a cloth. No water no nothing needed!! If it doesn’t work all the way or none at all then reapply & let it soak for a few hours. But most of the time it normally works in just a few minutes 😊😊😊 happy cleaning!! 😅😅😅😅😅
Oh and for all your pics & things of your life when you were married….. I was in the same situation & what I did was I saved what I could or wanted for my kids to have when they got older which they are grown now but I gave them the pics of our wedding & life together. Things I kept from our wedding I saved for them also. So it’s just whatever you still have & don’t mind keeping it packed for them for the future is totally up to you, my daughters were glad I did that. I hardly ever see him & or speak to now that my kids are grown so I hardly ever catch myself thinking about something we did or shared ect. But anyways, yea it’s totally up to you what those items are that you will pass down to them. ♥️
Keep the pics. You will want to share with the kids. They'll have projects for school. Plus They'll ask questions about things that happened in your lives. Eventually, you will be able to look back fondly at your past.
I would make a small album for the kids to keep in their rooms, and I would ask my mom to keep the rest of the pictures so the kids can go through them if they would like. I totally get not wanting to have bad memories in your house.
So good to see you back, Mai! I've missed you and hope you'll be on TH-cam more frequently this year. Your year in dating sounds like a great idea. Have fun on your ski trip! XXOO ❤️
I enjoyed this video ! Very nice and generous that you hosted those 14 people!
My mom only kept one photo (from the wedding) of her with her first husband. She gave it to my brother (the only child they had together) when he was adult and he was happy to get that.
I've kept the photos of myself and my ex for our son. We had a bad relationship , he wasnt a very nice person and we were both very young and immature. But after 20 years we get along fine. Seeing him or talking to him doesn't bother me at all. Took a few years but were on good terms.
She’s baackkkkk 🎉
Keep all the ones of you and your ex with the boys! And keep a few of your wedding because your sons will likely want to see a few pictures of that one day :)
Yes to the dating video!
Finally!!! Yay
Could not wait until you posted again... my fav youtuber☺️☺️
Also perfect timing. I have not had the motivation to clean my room and declutter my kitchen. Definetly overdue for a cleaning. This will be perfect to get me moving.
So I was married from 17-31, my high school sweetheart, 4 kids, and when we divorced as far as memorabilia you can get rid of some but when your ready for pictures which are the hardest part, keep what you think the kids will want and make a small box for them in the future. Facebook definitely make a new one and please please please do a de clutter organization video!! Lol hope it helped and love you!
Mai idk what it is but my 18 month old son loves your videos 😂❤️
Was w my ex husband since college & now divorced for over 8 yrs. I think u should wait before making any decisions on the photos. Many u can share w ur boys. I got rid of a majority of wedding pix & albums(had tons that friends made for me too). Saved one for my boys. Haven’t dealt w the albums that I have from vacays w ex before kids but I’m not worried about them nor ok not traumatized from my ex either. Good luck ur doing amazing!!❤
I’m so sorry to hear about that memento box thing. That is super tough. On the one hand I’m sure your boys will treasure it some days on the other the amount of stress and anxiety it brings you up would say get it completely out of your house, maybe give it to your moms for a few years. I’m sure soon you’ll be married to the guy of your dreams and then if you randomly run into that box it won’t hurt as much hopefully. I totally get what you mean about feeling like you wasted all your time but I promise that’s not what it was. It completely shaped you to ego you are today
So I went through the memorabilia thing with an ex husband who was my husband during twenty years. During a long time, I couldn’t even look at the photos. But I kept them for my sons. I don’t care for these photos even now, but I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t lived all this. My sons don’t have the same feeling as mine of course, and after all, it’s their father. So if I was in your shoes, I would put everything in a box and would keep them for when your children will be old enough to appreciate them, especially as you have boys, they will need to see how their father was before the divorce. I have two sons too and I see how they react as adults.
That’s my point of view on this matter, now you do whatever you want with it.
Put the memories in a box and move on! I was divorced many decades ago. You have a good man, cherish that 💓!
Nice to see you back!
The tub of pictures & memorabilia can easily go unseen & unnoticed for years & years in a corner of the attic 😂 just leave them til your 100% certain on what you want to do with them.
Glad your back ❤
Enjoyed the hang out, Mai. Felt like old times. Have fun on your ski trip! 😀
YOU JUST MADE MY DAY!!!!!
Mai Ziiiiiiiiimmmyyyyy!
Agree with the others. Save for the boys later for them to divide up the photos as they like.
I'd make it a project. I would have 3 or 5 bins (you, ex, boys individually/ corporately) and a trash can. This way you can tackle item by item as what you want to keep, what is just of your ex for your ex, and what could be you two together for your boys as a corporate box or boy by boy individually. I'm sure you have some pictures of just you and other friends that don't include your ex that you want to keep and need to be separated from the pictures that are of or include your ex. But removing your ex's pictures from your life sounds healthy.
Can you do an update on how you liked the products you tested out
Not divorced, but my instinct would be to wait 3-5 years before you go through those photos. You'll have more clarity down the line about what you do and don't want to keep when the divorce doesn't feel so fresh. (Also, my parents are happily married, but have pretty much zero photos of the first 20 years of their marriage and it makes me as a kid so sad. Your kids will probably love to see those photos one day, even if they're painful for you.)
I wonder if it’d help to put dryer sheets in the bags with the mattresses to keep them smelling fresh and clean?
I’m kind of in your situation just still in the marriage.
Three kids, I’m 34 about to be 35. We have been married for ten years and probably shouldn’t have but we found out I was pregnant two days before nursing school graduation. We both are figuring out where to go next..
I say keep these things but keep them away from you, put up somewhere. Your kids may want them one day. I love the pictures I have of my parents who divorced when I was six and they needed to divorce. But as their only child, I like having their old random pictures. Maybe toss certain ones and keep some for them in a little box. You are awesome and so glad I found your channel again! Second video watching and I’m like dang this is all super relatable on my level. lol 😆
Zout is my favorite stain remover
Don’t throw away the memories! Store them away for now. There will be a time when you don’t look back on those memories as negatively as you do now
Your boys might want it. Keep enough for them to decide in the future.
When I divorced my ex, going on 14 years now, I gave him any pictures that were of him and the kids and his family. I kept pictures that were of me and the kids and my family I also kept any pictures of him and I and the kids ,or just him and I, for my girls to have one day. I've kept wedding pictures for them, too. I may have given him any duplicates of him, I and the kids (I don't really remember now). I don't look back on the time as fond memories but my kids might. I figure one day they can toss the pics if they want to. Mine are mostly in albums and are stored in a closet. I was going to put all the pictures into photo boxes but I asked my kids how they wanted to inherit the pictures one day and they said they liked the albums. So, albums it is. lol Glad to see a video from you!
Ditto!!! Exactly what did for my ex and kids.
Save the memorabilia for your boys. They will treasure them. If he’s not in your mind, you’ve blocked him out, put the lids on the totes and put them in the attic or basement and leave it.
I wouldn’t worry about that memory bin for now. Everything is still too fresh if it’s bringing on any stress. I would shove it in the back somewhere and see if I can better deal with it in 6 months. If not, put it back and find another time lol
I also went through basically the same thing as you. It took me a few years to be able to not go through the memory bins without emotionally shutting down, but eventually I paired it down to one rubber maid smaller tote. I do have a daughter and maybe she would want that stuff, I’m unsure but I’ll let her decide to keep or throw it once she is older. Also I threw away anything that didn’t fit in there like giant wedding photos… no one needs those around 😜
With my 1st husband from 20 to 35. Got rid of all pics with him including all wedding photos except one with just me and Mom. Never looked back, never missed them. (I’m 60 now). For ones that contain a child, I would put a few in their memory boxes and discard the rest.
I do feel like you need to keep the photos for your sons. That way they know mommy and daddy had a happy point of their life later on when they get to questioning things more. But I’d definitely put them in a fire proof box in a dark corner of your house you won’t think about them until you have to!
Yay! Love your cleaning videos 😊
This is wild to me. I literally have a couple of natural multi purpose cleaners I use for everything; and some reusable cloths (for cleaning, dusting etc - toilet cleaned with toilet paper and then flushed away). Vacuum, mop. Sometimes use vinegar and baking soda. Easy.
Fascinating to watch this though.
Everyone whos saying keep the photos. I would say keep one small album. The big moments. 3 wedding pics, family photos, holidays. Thats it. It shouldnt be your burdin to keep large boxes like that to hurt u. And if possible maybe ask your parents to keep the album so its not in your house and not thrown away? Maybe until the kids are older and see if one of them wants it
I would take it easy don't put too much pressure on yourself to deal with the pictures, you'll know when your ready ❤❤❤❤❤I maybe wrong just an opinion all the best
Hold onto it until you feel differently about it. Then decide.