My family thinks the autism diagnosis is a cop out for my "bad parenting". They expect me to use fear and control to make my kids behave better. Its SO hard to explain to people without them thinking youre making excuses.
Ariel Lioness, maybe they could watch a few videos or do some research to get educated. They might even be able to go with you to a doctors appointment. Just thinking of ways for them to be involved and learn.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I appreciate the suggestions very much. Theyd be great if the family was open to it. Theyd rather judge us than try to understand or look at any thing that would help educate them. Its very frustrating. But your videos have helped so much. Between these videos a the book "boundaries", I'm learning so much and that I dont want to take or subject myself and my kids to judgment and criticism. Thank you for everything!!
Ugh so sorry you have to deal with this... what to do when the grandparent of what hes referring to as the FLK- (cute by the by)...but how frustrating when grandma herself HAS form of ASD as does some of her siblings; and simply cannot see that it needs addrressing, they are so unaware- so they assume its bad parenting...egads! no! anyway- you are not alone.
Thank you for giving your opinion. My daughter (17) is on the spectrum. And I usually feel like I can use all the help I can get. Especially from your perspective.
Oh my goodness. Yesss. My son has been asking me , "why?" Non stop. I have to remember to communicate in a way that gets through to him. This is great.
You are always on time. I was called to my son's school today. Although my son has not been diagnosed, I had a conversation with the director. Autism came up. It also came up in a conversation with a program I called. I will be getting him evaluated. I feel like you're reading my mind even though you don't know me. Thanks for being part of the team.
Being high functioning with at least one of my three kids on the spectrum (one of my two daughters) (possibly more of them and quite possibly even my wife), I definitely needed this. It is a reality check and a great bit of advice. Edit: It is made all the more challenging because of my anxiety, GAD, panic, depression, Social Anxiety, severe ADHD and SEVERE PTSD. This, again, is a big help in many ways.
I appreciate that you also discuss the fact that life is unpredictable and children on the autism spectrum have to learn the skills to deal with this. During those times it is very important to keep communication going. Another point I think should be mentioned is that building a good relationship with your childs teachers and special ed team is important. Keep the lines of communication with them open as well.
As a millenial on the spectrum, I approve this video. Since I studied Computer Science in college, I like to think our brains process instructions much like computers (I joked with a friend on the spectrum once that computers are Autistic), in the sense that if I tell my computer to delete a file but I clicked on the wrong one, unless I write a macro to detect certain file patterns, it's not going to say "This file looks important. Are you sure you want to delete it? You might regret it later". Assumung something tells it to, t's going to ask "Are you sure you want to delete that file? Yes/No". They are very literal and so are we.
Something very important is to never make them feel inadequate for how sensitive they are to lights or sounds. My parents had no regard for my sensory processing disorder (that is very often with Autism). They did not realize how exhausted I was from it and that it is why I had meltdowns. All I needed was the overhead light off and the tv turned down and I would have been calmer a lot of the time. My mom did figure out to only buy me cotton loose comfy clothes.
The sounds of cars in the road, nothing I can do. Bright lights? Ok, you just woke up, I'll star with less light and increase it. Labels? Fine, I'll cut it. Food? Try something new, you don't like it, it's ok, we'll try another time. But we screw up plenty. It's hard.
The clothes thing geez o Pete's! LOL I've just realized in the last week that my daughter has slighr aspergers or hfa whichever. We had her in Therapy at one point etc. We thought it was anxiety. Which it was but after considering absolutely everything I know I've found it. The clothes thi g used to drive me nuts. I'm coming to understand a lot more now. I just thought he was being a pain in the ass. But nope! It all makes more sense now. Every symptom she does have makes sense now. I'm sad about it but also relieved that I understand what it is now.
The more information for my high functioning child on the spectrum the better. He is 17 now and the part we are working through now is the depression and anxiety of being social. Thank you for great information.
Thank you for this. Could you PLEASE say more about high functioning children. You explain things in such a way that speaks volumes as opposed to reading books on the subject. You two are such special tutors. Love your videos (Marina in Cambs, England ) ❤️❤️❤️
thank you so much i have mild autism and dealt with horrific abuse as a child from my dad and stepmom and i really want my children to have a better childhood than me.
I wish you guys would post more content like this. Being a parent for an amazing kiddo who has special needs is hard on the whole family, not to mention the child that has to live through a daily struggle. It would be so nice to have ideas on ways to help your child have a better life and learn better parenting skills in the process.
Our eldest son is on a three year waiting list here in the UK to be assessed for autism, which is ridiculous! We tell him we love him and are here for him every day but his behaviour can be very challenging. He is a very intelligent boy but has classic autistic traits. I came to this video to help me be the best dad I can be, we all need help. Our youngest son might have ADHD too, he’s on a equally long waiting list to be assessed. Welcome to the uk 🇬🇧🙄. Thank you for the information 👍🏻
I have a 3 and a half old son with non verbal autism. what people don't understand the most is when something good happens with him that is a step forward is that 2 weeks later we might go 3 steps back. so it is hard to tell people any 'good news' that happens with him knowing that in a few weeks we will be back at square 1 again. I have really been struggling lately with this hasn't helped that I have lost both my parents to cancer within 11 months of each other in the past 2 years. so I hope to use this video for help with this thank you
Adster, we are honored to be on your team. It is difficult with an autistic child to not have the steady progress. Hang in there. Your child needs you.
The thing is: all of us on the spectrum have some similarities like routine and challenges with socialization. However, with Autism being a neurological condition, and everyone's brain is different, we are also very different.
Thank you so much for making this video because since I last messaged you on one of your videos. My son has been diagnosed as autistic at three years old. I’m learning so much how to become even more understanding to his needs. His name is Keith and his team and I are in constant contact to try many different ways to help him out with food, behavioral health and interest
Melissa Acers my daughter was diagnosed at 3 also! (She’s almost 8 now) early diagnosis is key! I’m so glad you were able to start your sons autism journey at a young age it’ll make a huge difference :)
I do know if I told my son that bathing to get more friends he needs to bathe...he would take that litteral and then think "that" is going to help make him friends. It would be too litteral for him. Gotta be careful with litteral and autism. He/ she may take things in a completely and litteral way, different aspect than it is explained. I have to be careful with my words.
I have a quirky teenage son and it made me smile that you used the hygiene/showering example bc we get frustrated with him for not remembering to shower. Thanks for the reminder to be clear in my expectations and to explain why since he often doesn't think the same way I do. As always, such a helpful video. Thank you for your videos!
My son is 11 years old with high functioning spectrum autism but it’s hard to deal with he is disrespectful to me, rude I straggler and stressed all the time. And I ask for help how to handle him😢😔
Have you done any counseling? Is your son in any programs to help him? Do you have resources through the school or are you a member of any parenting groups of autistic children? Find out what resources are available to you and seek counseling for yourself.
Thank you for this video! My son is on the spectrum and is high functioning and is becoming a Pre teen. He is finally starting to bath regularly now we are talking about hair next. At least he is letting me touch and play in his hair more often. Please check out his channel guys that would make his world!!! Take care guys!!!
@@LiveOnPurposeTV He did homework last night on his own. He usually has anxiety about it and has a meltdown because he is worried about making mistakes but he goes to class online without me asking and now do his homework and we played outside yesterday! I’m so proud of my son!!!! I’ll stay watching!
Great tips! My son has so many difficulties to deal with schadule changes, it gets better everyday, as we explain that life happens, but we are having issues to help him to deal with negative emotions, as disappointment, anger, etc. He uses hurtful words to attack, what got us by surprise as he is and always was this extra sweet and loving boy, any tips? I adore you guys, watching you give me the support to keep going! Tell my boys everytime they get upset, doesn't matter what, even if.🥰 thank you
This is old thinking about autism. Now we know the autistic can be social with another neurodivergent person, so they don’t get neuro typical people so easily and visa Versa. They like a different less intense environment and often less emotional set ups. They have more sensitivity to sensory overload and sometimes it’s showering that is overwhelming. So please allow your child autonomy to choose how to clean their body. Your way may not be their way. I won’t shower as an adult autistic but I will have a bath. Evening washing as we get soooo tired is difficult so a morning bath is my way, not necessarily all autistics like my way. I hope this helps.
My 18 year old high functioning autistic son is resisting help! We give him love, acceptance and offer assistance in many forms. He doesn't want any of it. Not sure where to go at this point.
Throw in PDA profile and this would be the opposite of a good out come! PARENTs if your child is high functioning and ODD behaviors look into PDA in children . Hope that helps as well . Good luck we are all in this together!
I am a widowed single mother with comorbid ASD & ADHD. I have four neurodiverse children: one Aspurgers, one moderate Autism, one ADHD, and one suspected ASD/ADHD. All your advice makes sense, but I have a very difficult time doing it because of my horrendous executive functioning, blurting out insensitive (honest) things, sensitivity to all the noise, and my own emotional deregulation. I am unable to keep consistent with any discipline. I am American living in the U.K. Do you know of anyone or any organisation that could help me?
Mollie Chippeck, first I'd like to express my sincere condolences for the loss of your husband. That in itself is a difficult circumstance. Now you have 4 children that depend solely on you. I can't give you a name for the U.K., however I will tell you about our offer, which is a free 25 minute call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches. The call is typically through Zoom. If you want to schedule the call, please go here: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall In the meantime, we have several videos dealing with autism and ADHD - just do a search with "Live On Purpose" plus the key word. There are many videos on our Positive Parenting playlist that assist in a variety of ways: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU.html . I also invite you to check out the new Live On Purpose Central, which has many resources to help you, including the Parenting Power-Up, open office hours with me, and classes with some of the other coaches: liveonpurposecentral.com/order-form1590696228507 We are here for you and hope you can find value at Live On Purpose.
My child. Has higher functioning autisim, my child is really struggling too listening too others and following instruction do you by any chance have and tools or tips how too teach my child too listen please 😊🙏
You cant tell people how to parent but, the thing with love is ofc very important. i have high functioning autism. so i know a thing or two about autism....🙃
I'm so happy to have you in my Team. The way you make your Videos is wonderfull. All these Informations, they fit into my brain so easy. Thank you for all your work. Could you make a Video about spirited children? Not as excuse but how to raise them, so they can learn to live with all the super powers? My kid is very sensitive, he is getting a social overload in Kindergarden and public Transport. He shows an ugly behaviour when his batteries are empty. After his burst out he feels guilty for caling me names of hitting me. That alone kicks him in a New tantrum vor self destruktive behaviour.
I love him. He is so kooperative, he cares for others, he detectes every little feeling. When he feels save. He can hear silent sounds, and yet, he is so intense, his screaming out of joy or frustration is hurting his own ears. He is hitting himself when all these feelings are strong in him. When he is affrait, He is running straight against the door. Ouch! He is suffering, all this to much input. And yet he is searching for more... All i can do is love him. Observe him, tell him when i See its to much for him. To be honest. He wakes up. And the transition from beeing asleep to beeing awake is too much. And in his developement Phase, he needs me by his side, even in kindergarden. This make them give up on him.
We are getting my almost three year old son evaluated for autism. Some days I feel like there is no question he is neurodivergent, other days I wonder if I'm overreacting. I suspect he is on the high functioning side. He has a number of delays despite high intelligence/hyper numeracy, and we're hoping this can be a starting point to find out exactly what supports he needs. I wish I could explain things logically to a three year old!
Mama Squid, that is a big order for any 3 year old. I hope you get the answers you want from the evaluation. There are so many resources available now and caught young he will be able to become the best he can. You are the mother he needs.
I see this video is old but trying to figure out how to handle them after high school my son is on the spectrum and well COVID almost took me out how do they survive this world without us ?
Hi Dr Paul, do you have any more tips on raising and parenting kids with Autism? My kids are little as well as special and I'm often uncertain how to apply discipline. I'm not always sure what they can understand. Right now it's mostly about teaching and redirecting them as needed. But what else? How can I be the best mom I can be? Aside from helping them with life skills they need extra help with, what else do I need to do? Whats next? I feel lost. My kids are pretty good. I'm not a yeller. Thank you.
@pateckaaron7013 Thank you for sharing. I would love to hear more about the herbs. I am open to try new things. One of our struggles is a healthy diet. What are the herbs? How do you get your child to take it?
Many of your suggestions are things I did with my son as he has grown up and worked great, he thrived under a structured schedule and routine. However as we have hit teen years (15) it has backfired Hard. He wants complete control over his life and to do what he sees his peers doing. Like walking to a store by himself. I "WAS" telling him that he is not capable of doing those things- but then a saw your video on toxic things Not to tell your teens. He started sneaking out at night to go to the store (probably to prove me wrong) However I am lost as to how to help him know that he is Not stupid, but isn't ready to do things some of his peers are doing, examples: having a girlfriend, driving, having a smart phone. He is unable to regulate his emotions and often struggles with basic showering, eating regularly and remembering his own schedule, but is rebelling from any suggestion I make. I would love some more ideas. Also, he is in weekly counseling and I have watched ALL your videos on teens! Thanks!
Layne Swift, are you able to let him know when he does (fill in the blank) that he will get a specific privilege. This should help him to become more open to showering, eating, etc. Give him a little privilege and let him know you are watching to be able to give him more.
I feel like this awful parent for crying and feeling so sad that my daughter may have autism. The therapist and my husband and and I were just told she may have it. I feel like a failure first for not realizing until she was 13! I also feel like I’m hurting for her 😭 then I feel like a jerk for being sad. She is high functioning and she has such potential. When I think of autism (because I don’t have autism knowledge) i think of group homes and non verbal etc and then I think of what if’s. What if she never has a family etc. now I feel even more awful because I’m scared. Please don’t be upset with my random thoughts fears etc
Katie M, not upset with you. You are never wrong about how you feel. What are you going to do from here on out? Time to get some more information so you can make good choices for her.
From everything I’ve seen, it seems that it is MUCH harder to spot in girls. Don’t be too hard on yourself. She’ll be able to take the tools you give her into her adulthood, as opposed to finding out as an adult. And that’s probably better. ❤️
Hi I’m Anna, and I also have high functioning Autism and also Functional Disconnection Syndrome (FDS). I was diagnosed with FDS in April 2016. My Agricultural Science teacher told me when I was 13 (I’m fifteen now). I don’t need a lot of accommodations in school, but I often take tests out of the classroom. I don’t get why some people say autism is curable, that’s just who we are. I feel the need to interact with people, but I may not always say the right thing. I may interrupt you, but I will apologize for it. By the way, what is your sons name?
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you, I also have other accommodations specifically for me, like I visited my school counselor once a month to practice my social skills. I have been in Occupational Therapy before (in kindergarten).
This video was so helpful and it was one of ur recommendation videos on autism I wanted to check the other videos that u have made on this topic but I have lost the recommendation list 🤦🏻♀️ i looked on my notifications but I cannot go back to the video 😀 it will Be great if u can tell me the playlist of the videos again Sorry 🤦🏻♀️and thank u U r have changed alot in my parenting skills
I am so honored, Zahra Ali. You can always search "Live On Purpose autism," or you can look for the playlist "Dealing With Kids with Special Needs" in the playlist section of my channel. For now, here it is: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCQLcx-1EjW7hyl-7SKU7BQ.html Thank you for your kind comment - I love having you here at Live On Purpose TV!
Dr Paul and Ms Vicky, thank you for your video. Many people around me say that my 3 years old is delayed compared to others children his age, he doesn't communicate appropriately with me eg: he doesn't respond to me when I ask him how he spends his day at kingergarden. He yells a lot also but he hugs me and is learning to say new words . I don't know if we can talk about spectrum here . Can you help me? I am desperate, I live in Algeria and this condition is still unknown here . You are my village guys.
Maji b, it sounds from your description that your son might be on the spectrum, I can't diagnose, I have never met your son. Have you talked to the teachers at the school? That is where I would start and then seek medical help and information. You might be in Algeria, but with the internet you can connect with groups and forums where there will be support.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you for your response, I talked to the school, they say in a scale from normal to autistic he's not totally in the middle but closer to normal, they say that he plays with others but then suddenly he starts singing alone turning around. But I feel that he understands everything, and I think sometimes that it is due to our divorce since he adores his father. I know that you can't give me any answer like this, but please doctor give me a name, a location anything that could help me, knowing that he will be 4 in May. 😢
Dr Paul- I come to you with hope because I can not get answers from my child’s regular doctors. I feel like she just gets brushed off. She was diagnosed at age 4 with mixed expressive and receptive language disorder. She is not passing school because she can not keep up. They have finally agreed to test her. What can I do at home to help her? I feel like discipline is hard. Is she really not understanding or is she being difficult? Hoe do I decide? I don’t want to be that mom fussing at her and she just wasn’t getting it. Help! Gosh I wish I was close to you so you could work with my child. We both feel so lost.
Ami Outlaw, you are taking the right steps to get the answers you need. After the testing you will have more information to work from. Until then, pick your battles, ignore what you can and show her love.
Can you please come to Georgia and educate the family court system here ! The worst thing to hear for parent who is slogging day and night , and put faith in the GAL to save the child from dad’s abuse is to say mom is alienating and is manipulative and teaching the kid to say stuff ! Argh . How can this information reach the bar so that thousands of kids can be saved from the ‘50-50 do not bend the rule proposition of the legal system ‘
@@LiveOnPurposeTV that would be so wonderful! The legal system for sure needs some insights into Psycolgy. It is sad that parents’ have a better understanding of Psycolgy than the people who need to be . Emotional and psychological abuse has been categorized as dv in Europe . America has not even turned its head towards that . Cluster B is increasing day by day , mental illness is triple and these kids will be the future of the country tomorrow.
The universe played a cruel joke when he created a mother with severe ADHD and and a son with moderate ASD. Apparently, researchers have noted that there does seem to be a higher incidence of mothers with ADHD giving birth to children with Autism. I know several woman who are in the same boat. All of have tried to create timetables and structure but most of us could not keep up the consistency. If anyone knows of someone who can advise a family with this type Of dyad, please let me know. On the upside, he has learned to be more flexible because with me as a mother, he has no choice.
I just want to clarify that my son is a well loved child. He is the centre of my world, and, I’d say the centre of my parents’ world as well. He is also loved by many others: my sister, my friends, his friends and, of course my ex-husband and his family. That’s one thing that is not lacking in his life and he knows it. In turn, he he affectionate (big hugs and kisses) and loving (says, “I love you” without prompts).
My daughter makes it difficult for me just to take care of her like I would have with my first daughter she doesn't co operate doesn't listen wants her own way screams or hits at you if she disagrees iv had to learn to be flexible with her.
She is in the process of Diagnosis and told Aspergers or High functioning Autism, I know each kid is not similar, but my daughter is clearly difficult and crawls on all fours often and lines everything up , was just highlighting the autism your are discussing and having to adjust to your responses as a parent for this type of behaviour. Thanks.
Keep encouraging your children, and hopefully they will mature soon and realize that what you have been teaching them about personal hygiene will sink in. Thanks for watching, Nichole Thewlis.
What if a special needs child rejects love at every turn? What if they are like a wolf with its paw caught in a trap, and every time you try to get close to help, the wolf bites you? What if your child is just goddam vile to their family and so you have no love left for such a mean child?
Please get some counseling on what you can do. If you are at a breaking point it might be time to consider other options. I am sorry that it has gotten to this point. The child must have very special needs.
Thank you. That has worked in the past. Thank you, again. Keeping myself from the pain of becoming discouraged can be hard but I have to remember the end goal and it’s not about me.
To be fair and honest, if you are far along enough on the spectrum, you could be a detrimental parent to children. Depends on the person obviously but it’s an uncomfortable truth.
My family thinks the autism diagnosis is a cop out for my "bad parenting". They expect me to use fear and control to make my kids behave better. Its SO hard to explain to people without them thinking youre making excuses.
Ariel Lioness, maybe they could watch a few videos or do some research to get educated. They might even be able to go with you to a doctors appointment. Just thinking of ways for them to be involved and learn.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV I appreciate the suggestions very much. Theyd be great if the family was open to it. Theyd rather judge us than try to understand or look at any thing that would help educate them. Its very frustrating. But your videos have helped so much. Between these videos a the book "boundaries", I'm learning so much and that I dont want to take or subject myself and my kids to judgment and criticism. Thank you for everything!!
@@ariellioness9384 Same here. I love the book Boundaries.
@@ms.anonymousinformer242 yes!! I'm almost done with that one and boundaries with kids.
Ugh so sorry you have to deal with this... what to do when the grandparent of what hes referring to as the FLK- (cute by the by)...but how frustrating when grandma herself HAS form of ASD as does some of her siblings; and simply cannot see that it needs addrressing, they are so unaware- so they assume its bad parenting...egads! no! anyway- you are not alone.
As a teen with high-functioning autism, I find this video perfect for my parents.
Andy, thank you for letting me know. Appreciate that.
@Midastouch One thanks
Thank you for giving your opinion. My daughter (17) is on the spectrum. And I usually feel like I can use all the help I can get. Especially from your perspective.
@@1Melody1963 no problem
As a parent looking for the best info on how to show up for my kid, your comment is a good, good sign. Thank you
Oh my goodness. Yesss. My son has been asking me , "why?" Non stop. I have to remember to communicate in a way that gets through to him. This is great.
Leanet Vasquez, thanks.
You are always on time. I was called to my son's school today. Although my son has not been diagnosed, I had a conversation with the director. Autism came up. It also came up in a conversation with a program I called. I will be getting him evaluated. I feel like you're reading my mind even though you don't know me. Thanks for being part of the team.
Lou Wren, honored to be on your team and glad you feel that way. We will do what we can.
Being high functioning with at least one of my three kids on the spectrum (one of my two daughters) (possibly more of them and quite possibly even my wife), I definitely needed this. It is a reality check and a great bit of advice.
Edit: It is made all the more challenging because of my anxiety, GAD, panic, depression, Social Anxiety, severe ADHD and SEVERE PTSD. This, again, is a big help in many ways.
Brandon Riggs, I am so happy it helps. Thank you.
I am asking out loud for help with my daughter, this came along at the perfect moment. Thank you. 🙏
I appreciate that you also discuss the fact that life is unpredictable and children on the autism spectrum have to learn the skills to deal with this. During those times it is very important to keep communication going. Another point I think should be mentioned is that building a good relationship with your childs teachers and special ed team is important. Keep the lines of communication with them open as well.
April Phister, good point. You need to build the team and the school support is golden to a child on the spectrum.
As a millenial on the spectrum, I approve this video. Since I studied Computer Science in college, I like to think our brains process instructions much like computers (I joked with a friend on the spectrum once that computers are Autistic), in the sense that if I tell my computer to delete a file but I clicked on the wrong one, unless I write a macro to detect certain file patterns, it's not going to say "This file looks important. Are you sure you want to delete it? You might regret it later". Assumung something tells it to, t's going to ask "Are you sure you want to delete that file? Yes/No". They are very literal and so are we.
Arturo, thank you for this analogy. It is illuminating.
Something very important is to never make them feel inadequate for how sensitive they are to lights or sounds. My parents had no regard for my sensory processing disorder (that is very often with Autism). They did not realize how exhausted I was from it and that it is why I had meltdowns. All I needed was the overhead light off and the tv turned down and I would have been calmer a lot of the time. My mom did figure out to only buy me cotton loose comfy clothes.
Thank you for sharing this information. The best thing we can do is to ask what another person needs.
The sounds of cars in the road, nothing I can do.
Bright lights? Ok, you just woke up, I'll star with less light and increase it. Labels? Fine, I'll cut it.
Food? Try something new, you don't like it, it's ok, we'll try another time.
But we screw up plenty. It's hard.
The clothes thing geez o Pete's! LOL I've just realized in the last week that my daughter has slighr aspergers or hfa whichever. We had her in Therapy at one point etc. We thought it was anxiety. Which it was but after considering absolutely everything I know I've found it. The clothes thi g used to drive me nuts. I'm coming to understand a lot more now. I just thought he was being a pain in the ass. But nope! It all makes more sense now. Every symptom she does have makes sense now. I'm sad about it but also relieved that I understand what it is now.
The more information for my high functioning child on the spectrum the better. He is 17 now and the part we are working through now is the depression and anxiety of being social. Thank you for great information.
Lyndsie Jones, good to hear from you, thank you.
Damm reached 17? amazing i guess he is way better this days 🙂
Thank you for this. Could you PLEASE say more about high functioning children. You explain things in such a way that speaks volumes as opposed to reading books on the subject. You two are such special tutors. Love your videos (Marina in Cambs, England ) ❤️❤️❤️
MARINA WILKINSON, We will add it to the topic development list.
Live On Purpose TV many thanks. ❤️
Yes yes please!!!
Yes please. Taking books and giving the main points would be super helpful.
thank you so much i have mild autism and dealt with horrific abuse as a child from my dad and stepmom and i really want my children to have a better childhood than me.
Scott Bean, I am glad you are learning new ways of doing things with your children.
I wish you guys would post more content like this. Being a parent for an amazing kiddo who has special needs is hard on the whole family, not to mention the child that has to live through a daily struggle. It would be so nice to have ideas on ways to help your child have a better life and learn better parenting skills in the process.
We wish you well.
Oh, my. It certainly would have been nice if there had been someone like you around, thirty years ago. 👏
C. Jeannie Vz-Brown, I am glad our paths have crossed.
Our eldest son is on a three year waiting list here in the UK to be assessed for autism, which is ridiculous! We tell him we love him and are here for him every day but his behaviour can be very challenging. He is a very intelligent boy but has classic autistic traits. I came to this video to help me be the best dad I can be, we all need help. Our youngest son might have ADHD too, he’s on a equally long waiting list to be assessed. Welcome to the uk 🇬🇧🙄.
Thank you for the information 👍🏻
I hope some resources are allocated to speed up the wait. You are the parents your children need.
I know how you feel, we also in UK and waiting for our son to be assessed, we are finding it hard with stealing food, money and electronics
I have a 3 and a half old son with non verbal autism. what people don't understand the most is when something good happens with him that is a step forward is that 2 weeks later we might go 3 steps back. so it is hard to tell people any 'good news' that happens with him knowing that in a few weeks we will be back at square 1 again. I have really been struggling lately with this hasn't helped that I have lost both my parents to cancer within 11 months of each other in the past 2 years. so I hope to use this video for help with this thank you
Adster, we are honored to be on your team. It is difficult with an autistic child to not have the steady progress. Hang in there. Your child needs you.
Crazy how on time your videos always are!! Content I need just when I need it ....it's almost scary
Shayla alyah$, I have heard that from many people. I think it just shows that we are all dealing with things and we have more in common than not.
The thing is: all of us on the spectrum have some similarities like routine and challenges with socialization. However, with Autism being a neurological condition, and everyone's brain is different, we are also very different.
Everyone is unique. You are the only you.
Thank you so much for making this video because since I last messaged you on one of your videos. My son has been diagnosed as autistic at three years old. I’m learning so much how to become even more understanding to his needs. His name is Keith and his team and I are in constant contact to try many different ways to help him out with food, behavioral health and interest
Melissa Acers, honored to be a member of your team.
Melissa Acers my
daughter was diagnosed at 3 also! (She’s almost 8 now) early diagnosis is key! I’m so glad you were able to start your sons autism journey at a young age it’ll make a huge difference :)
This was very much needed in our household. Thank you for this video
Glad it was helpful!
Once again thank you so much. My son loves bath time it’s just trying to eat healthy versus him eating unhealthy
Melissa Acers, you are not alone. Hang in there/
Melissa Acers I’m dealing with the same stuff with my daughter!
I do know if I told my son that bathing to get more friends he needs to bathe...he would take that litteral and then think "that" is going to help make him friends. It would be too litteral for him. Gotta be careful with litteral and autism. He/ she may take things in a completely and litteral way, different aspect than it is explained. I have to be careful with my words.
Good point, lots of explaining is needed and you know your child better than anyone else.
Very interesting, and timely… from an autistic parent with an autistic preteen!
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing I appreciate your time and your information
You are so welcome
I have a quirky teenage son and it made me smile that you used the hygiene/showering example bc we get frustrated with him for not remembering to shower. Thanks for the reminder to be clear in my expectations and to explain why since he often doesn't think the same way I do. As always, such a helpful video. Thank you for your videos!
Jaime Rinehart, he wouldn't be the first teen to need this explanation. Thanks for tuning in.
My son is 11 years old with high functioning spectrum autism but it’s hard to deal with he is disrespectful to me, rude I straggler and stressed all the time. And I ask for help how to handle him😢😔
Have you done any counseling? Is your son in any programs to help him? Do you have resources through the school or are you a member of any parenting groups of autistic children? Find out what resources are available to you and seek counseling for yourself.
Please as a mom
To mom look into PDA in children. If you haven’t already. Blew my mind , hope this helps in anyway 😊
Thank you bc this other person's comment is what I'm working with which is why I'm you tubing this stuff in the first place@@lanni8224
Thank you Dr. Paul! You and your wife gave some very useful information and strategies for parents to use with their children on the Autism Spectrum 😊
liz beth, honored to be on your team. Thank you for commenting.
You always seem to put out videos when I need them the most! Thank you for the video! And have a great day!!
Deidra Roberts, I hear that from some viewers. Just shows there are more similarities than differences.
Change their routine normally, naturally and spontaneously; warnings work all the time.
Evelyn Sierra, Thank you.
Thank you for this video! My son is on the spectrum and is high functioning and is becoming a Pre teen. He is finally starting to bath regularly now we are talking about hair next. At least he is letting me touch and play in his hair more often. Please check out his channel guys that would make his world!!! Take care guys!!!
You are so welcome! Thomas channel, you know it is small steps. You are the parent your child needs today.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV He did homework last night on his own. He usually has anxiety about it and has a meltdown because he is worried about making mistakes but he goes to class online without me asking and now do his homework and we played outside yesterday! I’m so proud of my son!!!! I’ll stay watching!
This is great. I have an FLK. And she is SO FUNNY.
Kate Hopper, our pleasure.
Great tips! My son has so many difficulties to deal with schadule changes, it gets better everyday, as we explain that life happens, but we are having issues to help him to deal with negative emotions, as disappointment, anger, etc. He uses hurtful words to attack, what got us by surprise as he is and always was this extra sweet and loving boy, any tips? I adore you guys, watching you give me the support to keep going! Tell my boys everytime they get upset, doesn't matter what, even if.🥰 thank you
Falastin Zarruq, watch for when he behaves appropriately and praise him. Model positive behavior and when you need to, give natural consequences.
Thank y’all so much for this video
Our pleasure!
This is old thinking about autism. Now we know the autistic can be social with another neurodivergent person, so they don’t get neuro typical people so easily and visa Versa. They like a different less intense environment and often less emotional set ups. They have more sensitivity to sensory overload and sometimes it’s showering that is overwhelming. So please allow your child autonomy to choose how to clean their body. Your way may not be their way. I won’t shower as an adult autistic but I will have a bath. Evening washing as we get soooo tired is difficult so a morning bath is my way, not necessarily all autistics like my way. I hope this helps.
Thank you.
Thanks so much for your super helpful videos
Glad you like them!
Simple and informative guidance.Thankyou
Susan Thomas, you are welcome.
My 18 year old high functioning autistic son is resisting help! We give him love, acceptance and offer assistance in many forms. He doesn't want any of it. Not sure where to go at this point.
Caitie, that is a challenging situation. Can you get guardianship? Maybe it is time to be in a group home.
Throw in PDA profile and this would be the opposite of a good out come! PARENTs if your child is high functioning and ODD behaviors look into PDA in children . Hope that helps as well . Good luck we are all in this together!
Thank you for your support of everyone here.
I am a widowed single mother with comorbid ASD & ADHD. I have four neurodiverse children: one Aspurgers, one moderate Autism, one ADHD, and one suspected ASD/ADHD. All your advice makes sense, but I have a very difficult time doing it because of my horrendous executive functioning, blurting out insensitive (honest) things, sensitivity to all the noise, and my own emotional deregulation. I am unable to keep consistent with any discipline.
I am American living in the U.K. Do you know of anyone or any organisation that could help me?
Mollie Chippeck, first I'd like to express my sincere condolences for the loss of your husband. That in itself is a difficult circumstance. Now you have 4 children that depend solely on you. I can't give you a name for the U.K., however I will tell you about our offer, which is a free 25 minute call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches. The call is typically through Zoom. If you want to schedule the call, please go here: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall
In the meantime, we have several videos dealing with autism and ADHD - just do a search with "Live On Purpose" plus the key word. There are many videos on our Positive Parenting playlist that assist in a variety of ways: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU.html . I also invite you to check out the new Live On Purpose Central, which has many resources to help you, including the Parenting Power-Up, open office hours with me, and classes with some of the other coaches: liveonpurposecentral.com/order-form1590696228507
We are here for you and hope you can find value at Live On Purpose.
Would appreciate more high functioning video 👍
OK, will do.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thanks so much😄
My child. Has higher functioning autisim, my child is really struggling too listening too others and following instruction do you by any chance have and tools or tips how too teach my child too listen please 😊🙏
Yes, check out some of the videos on the playlist, there are about 4 I can think of off the top of my head.
You cant tell people how to parent but, the thing with love is ofc very important. i have high functioning autism. so i know a thing or two about autism....🙃
Alaka 561, thank you for sharing.
I'm so happy to have you in my Team. The way you make your Videos is wonderfull. All these Informations, they fit into my brain so easy. Thank you for all your work. Could you make a Video about spirited children? Not as excuse but how to raise them, so they can learn to live with all the super powers? My kid is very sensitive, he is getting a social overload in Kindergarden and public Transport. He shows an ugly behaviour when his batteries are empty. After his burst out he feels guilty for caling me names of hitting me. That alone kicks him in a New tantrum vor self destruktive behaviour.
I love him. He is so kooperative, he cares for others, he detectes every little feeling. When he feels save.
He can hear silent sounds, and yet, he is so intense, his screaming out of joy or frustration is hurting his own ears. He is hitting himself when all these feelings are strong in him. When he is affrait, He is running straight against the door. Ouch! He is suffering, all this to much input. And yet he is searching for more... All i can do is love him. Observe him, tell him when i See its to much for him. To be honest. He wakes up. And the transition from beeing asleep to beeing awake is too much. And in his developement Phase, he needs me by his side, even in kindergarden. This make them give up on him.
Cheriou Shinigami, thank you for the suggestion, I will add it to the list. Honored to be on your team.
Cheriou Shinigami, Are you getting sensory therapy for your son? There are so many wonderful types of therapy that might help him.
Thank you for your answer, no sensory threapie. I will give it a try.
We are getting my almost three year old son evaluated for autism. Some days I feel like there is no question he is neurodivergent, other days I wonder if I'm overreacting. I suspect he is on the high functioning side. He has a number of delays despite high intelligence/hyper numeracy, and we're hoping this can be a starting point to find out exactly what supports he needs. I wish I could explain things logically to a three year old!
Mama Squid, that is a big order for any 3 year old. I hope you get the answers you want from the evaluation. There are so many resources available now and caught young he will be able to become the best he can. You are the mother he needs.
I see this video is old but trying to figure out how to handle them after high school my son is on the spectrum and well COVID almost took me out how do they survive this world without us ?
There are worker training programs provided by your state or federal government that help to find jobs for people with disabilities.
Thanks you guys godd bless u
Alpacino Djuric, honored to be on your team.
Hi Dr Paul, do you have any more tips on raising and parenting kids with Autism? My kids are little as well as special and I'm often uncertain how to apply discipline. I'm not always sure what they can understand. Right now it's mostly about teaching and redirecting them as needed. But what else? How can I be the best mom I can be? Aside from helping them with life skills they need extra help with, what else do I need to do? Whats next? I feel lost. My kids are pretty good. I'm not a yeller. Thank you.
Just what is on the video. I usually refer people out to others who handle this full time.
@pateckaaron7013 Thank you for sharing. I would love to hear more about the herbs. I am open to try new things. One of our struggles is a healthy diet. What are the herbs? How do you get your child to take it?
Thank you so much for this information, it’s what I’ve been waiting for, excellent information about Autism.
marie watson, honored to be on your team.
Its really useful..thankyou
Welcome 😊
Many of your suggestions are things I did with my son as he has grown up and worked great, he thrived under a structured schedule and routine. However as we have hit teen years (15) it has backfired Hard. He wants complete control over his life and to do what he sees his peers doing. Like walking to a store by himself. I "WAS" telling him that he is not capable of doing those things- but then a saw your video on toxic things Not to tell your teens. He started sneaking out at night to go to the store (probably to prove me wrong) However I am lost as to how to help him know that he is Not stupid, but isn't ready to do things some of his peers are doing, examples: having a girlfriend, driving, having a smart phone. He is unable to regulate his emotions and often struggles with basic showering, eating regularly and remembering his own schedule, but is rebelling from any suggestion I make. I would love some more ideas. Also, he is in weekly counseling and I have watched ALL your videos on teens! Thanks!
Layne Swift, are you able to let him know when he does (fill in the blank) that he will get a specific privilege. This should help him to become more open to showering, eating, etc. Give him a little privilege and let him know you are watching to be able to give him more.
Thank you!
You're welcome!
I feel like this awful parent for crying and feeling so sad that my daughter may have autism. The therapist and my husband and and I were just told she may have it. I feel like a failure first for not realizing until she was 13! I also feel like I’m hurting for her 😭 then I feel like a jerk for being sad. She is high functioning and she has such potential. When I think of autism (because I don’t have autism knowledge) i think of group homes and non verbal etc and then I think of what if’s. What if she never has a family etc. now I feel even more awful because I’m scared. Please don’t be upset with my random thoughts fears etc
Katie M, not upset with you. You are never wrong about how you feel. What are you going to do from here on out? Time to get some more information so you can make good choices for her.
From everything I’ve seen, it seems that it is MUCH harder to spot in girls. Don’t be too hard on yourself. She’ll be able to take the tools you give her into her adulthood, as opposed to finding out as an adult. And that’s probably better. ❤️
Hi I’m Anna, and I also have high functioning Autism and also Functional Disconnection Syndrome (FDS). I was diagnosed with FDS in April 2016. My Agricultural Science teacher told me when I was 13 (I’m fifteen now). I don’t need a lot of accommodations in school, but I often take tests out of the classroom. I don’t get why some people say autism is curable, that’s just who we are. I feel the need to interact with people, but I may not always say the right thing. I may interrupt you, but I will apologize for it. By the way, what is your sons name?
Ha An Nguyen, I am glad you have figured out accommodations that help. Sounds like you are learning great life skills.
I prefer to go by Anna
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you, I also have other accommodations specifically for me, like I visited my school counselor once a month to practice my social skills. I have been in Occupational Therapy before (in kindergarten).
This video was so helpful and it was one of ur recommendation videos on autism I wanted to check the other videos that u have made on this topic but I have lost the recommendation list 🤦🏻♀️ i looked on my notifications but I cannot go back to the video 😀 it will Be great if u can tell me the playlist of the videos again
Sorry 🤦🏻♀️and thank u
U r have changed alot in my parenting skills
I am so honored, Zahra Ali. You can always search "Live On Purpose autism," or you can look for the playlist "Dealing With Kids with Special Needs" in the playlist section of my channel. For now, here it is: th-cam.com/play/PLq2mRDkHEBPCQLcx-1EjW7hyl-7SKU7BQ.html
Thank you for your kind comment - I love having you here at Live On Purpose TV!
Live On Purpose TV thnks dr Paul
Live On Purpose TV thnks dr Paul
Please more videos dealing with autism
Dr Paul and Ms Vicky, thank you for your video. Many people around me say that my 3 years old is delayed compared to others children his age, he doesn't communicate appropriately with me eg: he doesn't respond to me when I ask him how he spends his day at kingergarden. He yells a lot also but he hugs me and is learning to say new words . I don't know if we can talk about spectrum here . Can you help me? I am desperate, I live in Algeria and this condition is still unknown here . You are my village guys.
Maji b, it sounds from your description that your son might be on the spectrum, I can't diagnose, I have never met your son. Have you talked to the teachers at the school? That is where I would start and then seek medical help and information. You might be in Algeria, but with the internet you can connect with groups and forums where there will be support.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you for your response, I talked to the school, they say in a scale from normal to autistic he's not totally in the middle but closer to normal, they say that he plays with others but then suddenly he starts singing alone turning around. But I feel that he understands everything, and I think sometimes that it is due to our divorce since he adores his father. I know that you can't give me any answer like this, but please doctor give me a name, a location anything that could help me, knowing that he will be 4 in May. 😢
Dr Paul- I come to you with hope because I can not get answers from my child’s regular doctors. I feel like she just gets brushed off. She was diagnosed at age 4 with mixed expressive and receptive language disorder. She is not passing school because she can not keep up. They have finally agreed to test her. What can I do at home to help her? I feel like discipline is hard. Is she really not understanding or is she being difficult? Hoe do I decide? I don’t want to be that mom fussing at her and she just wasn’t getting it. Help! Gosh I wish I was close to you so you could work with my child. We both feel so lost.
Ami Outlaw, you are taking the right steps to get the answers you need. After the testing you will have more information to work from. Until then, pick your battles, ignore what you can and show her love.
Can you please come to Georgia and educate the family court system here ! The worst thing to hear for parent who is slogging day and night , and put faith in the GAL to save the child from dad’s abuse is to say mom is alienating and is manipulative and teaching the kid to say stuff ! Argh . How can this information reach the bar so that thousands of kids can be saved from the ‘50-50 do not bend the rule proposition of the legal system ‘
ladybug, I would be happy to do some training in GA. Suggest it to the bar and we will see if something can't be worked out.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV that would be so wonderful! The legal system for sure needs some insights into Psycolgy. It is sad that parents’ have a better understanding of Psycolgy than the people who need to be . Emotional and psychological abuse has been categorized as dv in Europe . America has not even turned its head towards that . Cluster B is increasing day by day , mental illness is triple and these kids will be the future of the country tomorrow.
The universe played a cruel joke when he created a mother with severe ADHD and and a son with moderate ASD. Apparently, researchers have noted that there does seem to be a higher incidence of mothers with ADHD giving birth to children with Autism. I know several woman who are in the same boat. All of have tried to create timetables and structure but most of us could not keep up the consistency. If anyone knows of someone who can advise a family with this type Of dyad, please let me know. On the upside, he has learned to be more flexible because with me as a mother, he has no choice.
R. Liebgott, just remember to love your child no matter what and even if...
I just want to clarify that my son is a well loved child. He is the centre of my world, and, I’d say the centre of my parents’ world as well. He is also loved by many others: my sister, my friends, his friends and, of course my ex-husband and his family. That’s one thing that is not lacking in his life and he knows it. In turn, he he affectionate (big hugs and kisses) and loving (says, “I love you” without prompts).
Exactly
claire robertson, thanks.
It's frustrating for me that the host is not letting the expert (woman) talk. Therefore there is less information for us left in this short video
Thank you for the input.
My daughter makes it difficult for me just to take care of her like I would have with my first daughter she doesn't co operate doesn't listen wants her own way screams or hits at you if she disagrees iv had to learn to be flexible with her.
claire robertson, children don't come identical to one another. Hang in there.
She is in the process of Diagnosis and told Aspergers or High functioning Autism, I know each kid is not similar, but my daughter is clearly difficult and crawls on all fours often and lines everything up , was just highlighting the autism your are discussing and having to adjust to your responses as a parent for this type of behaviour. Thanks.
Would mosaic down syndrome fall into high functioning autism?
I don't get into diagnosing any longer.
But my kids say they dont care if other people can smell them or not... :(
Keep encouraging your children, and hopefully they will mature soon and realize that what you have been teaching them about personal hygiene will sink in. Thanks for watching, Nichole Thewlis.
I have Autism
You could probably give us great insight to help us understand what you go through.
What if a special needs child rejects love at every turn? What if they are like a wolf with its paw caught in a trap, and every time you try to get close to help, the wolf bites you? What if your child is just goddam vile to their family and so you have no love left for such a mean child?
Please get some counseling on what you can do. If you are at a breaking point it might be time to consider other options. I am sorry that it has gotten to this point. The child must have very special needs.
Autism - The Complete Guide for Parents getbook.at/Autism
Thank you for the resource.
What if you explain the best you can but meltdowns still happen?
Mollie Miller, you ride out the storm. Then you talk when it is calm and come up with different plans.
Thank you. That has worked in the past. Thank you, again. Keeping myself from the pain of becoming discouraged can be hard but I have to remember the end goal and it’s not about me.
When I was growing up in the early 70s we call that bratty kids, lol.
Evelyn Sierra, yes, times have changed.
Funny little kid?!?! 🤣🤣🤣
Kids can be sooooo funny.
A girl I was engaged to just said she won’t have kids with me bc I’m autistic
frawldog, sounds like it is time to move on.
To be fair and honest, if you are far along enough on the spectrum, you could be a detrimental parent to children. Depends on the person obviously but it’s an uncomfortable truth.