This is such an important topic, Jay. After 24 years of therapy and becoming a psychotherapist myself, I continue to work with the panic and anxiety that come with being no contact with my narcissistic parent, not having their connection, and not striving for their approval. I experience states of terror at times that I have realize are how I felt when I was abandoned because I took my own initiative. I’ve been working to heal these parts of me. I appreciate your insights about doing and tasking . It feels like a way to orient away from the inner pain and also continue the old strategy of achieving to finally gain the validation or unconditional love that can never come. Thank you so much for your videos! They are an invaluable resource.
I read your helpful and unhelpful therapists and I realized that I've only had unhelpful therapists and also I've only been unhelpful in my relationships to my spouse and kids. I want to be helpful
I had an amazing therapist for years. She retired and all of the therapists I have seen since have undone the healing work she helped me with. I no longer believe in therapy, one of them even said I was narcissistic when I tried to have a conversation about what I needed to be different to feel helped. She heard that she was a bad therapist, which I didn't think until she talked down to me for an hour. I feel worse than when I started out - and I AM a therapist. I can no longer work. It's probably not so bad out there if you're not Autistic, but if you are, the whole world gaslights you, so if you had a really bad start in life, finding your way with mental and physical disabilities as well is almost impossible. Anyway, make sure your therapist believes and understand you and isn't going to retire any time soon. Healing wishes peeps x
I am grateful for your insight and the courage you have to share it. We all need to be seen for who we are and you understand that like few people are capable of doing. ❤😌
Small increments, very true in turning once held very strong beliefs. My narcissistic mother tried her best to keep me under her control and she did for a long time. Then came a day soon after my father died of cancer at age 52, that things changed. I changed and my journey of turning that barge around started little by little. She no longer had my dad or I for her supply.
Hi Jay, love this new video. Fear is such a big topic as we recover. As I healed, I've looked for teaching that addresses walking through this fear. Wonderful, thank you!
I had excessively overgeneralised by assuming that any self direction was sinful, so that l would be rejected by God as well. Anything other than directions from an authority figure was considered wrong, and I felt guilty and bad when self directing. It was the unconditional love of Jesus that set me free from this extreme fear because I consequently felt accepted and loved no matter what.
Thank you Jay, each new video helps me understand better the source of my inner pain and how to heal. I'm doing this on my own, still looking for a therapist in Santa Barbara who specializes in this. I like the image of the barge.
Your videos are incredible. This is what I could never understand and could never explain to anyone, not even my therapist. The aloneness is unbearable.
This is such an important topic, Jay. After 24 years of therapy and becoming a psychotherapist myself, I continue to work with the panic and anxiety that come with being no contact with my narcissistic parent, not having their connection, and not striving for their approval. I experience states of terror at times that I have realize are how I felt when I was abandoned because I took my own initiative. I’ve been working to heal these parts of me.
I appreciate your insights about doing and tasking . It feels like a way to orient away from the inner pain and also continue the old strategy of achieving to finally gain the validation or unconditional love that can never come.
Thank you so much for your videos! They are an invaluable resource.
The number one fear of any narc is independence
I am in tears.
Your work is truly invaluable.
Healing IS possible!❤
I read your helpful and unhelpful therapists and I realized that I've only had unhelpful therapists and also I've only been unhelpful in my relationships to my spouse and kids. I want to be helpful
I had an amazing therapist for years. She retired and all of the therapists I have seen since have undone the healing work she helped me with. I no longer believe in therapy, one of them even said I was narcissistic when I tried to have a conversation about what I needed to be different to feel helped. She heard that she was a bad therapist, which I didn't think until she talked down to me for an hour. I feel worse than when I started out - and I AM a therapist. I can no longer work. It's probably not so bad out there if you're not Autistic, but if you are, the whole world gaslights you, so if you had a really bad start in life, finding your way with mental and physical disabilities as well is almost impossible. Anyway, make sure your therapist believes and understand you and isn't going to retire any time soon. Healing wishes peeps x
I am grateful for your insight and the courage you have to share it. We all need to be seen for who we are and you understand that like few people are capable of doing. ❤😌
Hi Jay, went nc with family in November. Your book and videos helped immensely. Thank you. You explain it all so well
Small increments, very true in turning once held very strong beliefs. My narcissistic mother tried her best to keep me under her control and she did for a long time.
Then came a day soon after my father died of cancer at age 52, that things changed. I changed and my journey of turning that barge around started little by little.
She no longer had my dad or I for her supply.
Hi Jay, love this new video. Fear is such a big topic as we recover. As I healed, I've looked for teaching that addresses walking through this fear. Wonderful, thank you!
I believe this is the root of depersonalization.
I had excessively overgeneralised by assuming that any self direction was sinful, so that l would be rejected by God as well. Anything other than directions from an authority figure was considered wrong, and I felt guilty and bad when self directing. It was the unconditional love of Jesus that set me free from this extreme fear because I consequently felt accepted and loved no matter what.
Thank you Jay, each new video helps me understand better the source of my inner pain and how to heal. I'm doing this on my own, still looking for a therapist in Santa Barbara who specializes in this. I like the image of the barge.
🚢Here For It ❤
I Look Forward To Greeting Other Barges On Thier Way To Calmer Water
Thank you for acknowledging what a slow process this is. The barge analogy is encouraging.
Yay it’s Friday and Jay has posted ❤
Thank you! Sometimes it feels like healing takes forever.
Solid; core. Thank you, Mr. Reid! -RKT.
Your videos are incredible. This is what I could never understand and could never explain to anyone, not even my therapist. The aloneness is unbearable.
Thank you Jay!
Thank you
Never safe!!!
Thx 😢🩷
Which way is up? I’ve been fed a pack of lies!!
Yes so what do I do???
🙏😇
Getting back..... You mean there was a before? Managing C-PTSD. 💜💙🪷
I know exactly what you mean also having C-PTSD. 🌙 💖