"Wanna hear a good joke, man?" "Yeah." "Jesus is in Heaven, right, walking around, checking everybody out, you know. Cause it is His job, right? And everybody's fucking blissful, you know, halo and that. He gets over to this little dark corner, this little fellow there, old guy, crying his fucking eyes out, right? And Jesus says, "Excuse me," He says, "Listen, this is Heaven, you understand?" He said, like. "This is special," He said, "people go to church five times every Sunday every week of their lives to get up here." He said, "We can't have people fucking crying, it's just gonna let the place down, you know, I mean people are gonna start copying you, and then where would we be, you know?" And the old guy says, "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to cause any trouble but," he said, "when I was on Earth, you know, I was just a poor carpenter, and I had fuck-all, you know. Me and the wife, we had this little boy, we were like that, me and him, see? I was hoping he'd go into the carpentry trade with me, you know, but," he said, "when he was about 30 he said he had to go off on this mission with these 11 other guys into the desert. And I never saw him again," he said, "And I was hoping," he said, "you know, that when I came up here I'd find him again, you know, I've looked all over the fucking place and I can't find him anywhere," he said, "and it's really cracking me up." And Jesus with tears streaming down His cheeks goes, "Father!" and the guy goes, "Pinocchio!"
Okay so, its about Jesus, who met a crying man in heavens. So Jesus asks the man "excuse me but, this is heaven, we cannot have people fucking crying in there" And the man responded "im sorry, but when i was back at the earth i was just a poor carpenter, and i have my dear son, which once walked away to the desert (im not sure but probably there was some part about spending 40 days on it), and i never met him again, so i was hoping that i will met him in there, but i cant find him eneywhere!" And the Jesus looks at him, hugs him, and shouts "Father!" And the man responds with "PINOCCIO!"
@@ludwigwittgenstein2422 So, Pinocchio's (the wood boy from shrek) father, was the same as Jesus's father, a carpenter, Jesus, similarly to Pinocchio spend some time at the desert, and most likely he (almost the same as Pinocchio) never saw his father again. So, when Jesus heard the story of this man, and when in the way the man described it, it was so similar to Jesus's father's story, Jesus was sure that old Guseppe is his father, so he hughs him. When the man is hugged by Jesus he starts to think that Jesus is Pinocchio, his beloved son, and shouts "Pinocchio!" because of it. I hope that despite my very experienced storytelling skills you will understand it now
I have it word for word. I don't understand why people don't understand Ozzy or Lemmy. They honestly speak quite clearly and enunciate their words. "Wanna hear a good joke man? (Yeah.) Jesus in heaven, right, walking around and checking everyone out. You know, that's his job, right? And everyone is all blissful, with halos and whatnot. He gets to this little dark corner, where this little old guy is crying his fucking eyes out. And Jesus said "Excuse me, but this is Heaven. Do you understand?" Right? Jesus said "This is special, people go to Church, five times every Sunday every week of their lives to get up here." Jesus said "We can't have people fucking crying, it's going to let the place down, you know? I mean people are going to start copying you. Then what would we be?" The old guy says "I'm sorry sir, I don't mean to cause any trouble but, when I was on Earth, I was just a poor carpenter. I had a wife and little boy, we were like that 🤞, *sigh* I was hoping he'd go into the carpentry trade with me, you know. But when he was about 30, he said he had to go off on this mission with these eleven other guys into the dessert. I never saw him again," he said. "I was hoping that when I came up here I would find him again. You know, I looked all over this freaking place and I can't find him anywhere. And it's really cracking me up." And Jesus with tears streaming down his cheeks goes "FATHER!" And the guy goes "PINOCCHIO!"
I have it word for word. "Wanna hear a good joke man? (Yeah.) Jesus in heaven, right, walking around and checking everyone out. You know, that's his job, right? And everyone is all blissful, with halos and whatnot. He gets to this little dark corner, where this little old guy is crying his fucking eyes out. And Jesus said "Excuse me, but this is Heaven. Do you understand?" Right? Jesus said "This is special, people go to Church, five times every Sunday every week of their lives to get up here." Jesus said "We can't have people fucking crying, it's going to let the place down, you know? I mean people are going to start copying you. Then what would we be?" The old guy says "I'm sorry sir, I don't mean to cause any trouble but, when I was on Earth, I was just a poor carpenter. I had a wife and little boy, we were like that 🤞, *sigh* I was hoping he'd go into the carpentry trade with me, you know. But when he was about 30, he said he had to go off on this mission with these eleven other guys into the dessert. I never saw him again," he said. "I was hoping that when I came up here I would find him again. You know, I looked all over this freaking place and I can't find him anywhere. And it's really cracking me up." And Jesus with tears streaming down his cheeks goes "FATHER!" And the guy goes "PINOCCHIO!"
Jesus Christ was born during the life and reign of Herod the Great who ruled Palestine at the end of the 1st Century B.C. on the 25th of December, which is celebrated by Christians every year in remembrance of the day Jesus Christ was born. Jesus was born in the town of Bethlehem in Judea by Virgin Mary in a manger. Joseph was the father of Jesus. Joseph was a carpenter. When Jesus was born the three wise men fro the east followed to star (Star of Bethlehem) to where Jesus was born. The three wise men bore with them gifts, Gold, Myrrh, and Frankincense. About that same time king Herod was deeply disturbed by the birth of Jesus Christ, because he heard a new king has been born. Herod became furious and sent his soldiers into Bethlehem to kill all the boys around two years and under. Joseph and Mary fled from Bethlehem to Egypt before the soldiers could get to them. Herod’s plan turned out to be a fiasco. When Herod died and everything had calmed down, Joseph and Mary with Jesus went to Galilee and settled down in a town called Nazareth, were Jesus grew up, where Jesus Christ was called the “Nazarene” (Jesus of Nazareth). Jesus was a leader all through his life even from birth. After the baptism of Jesus Christ the, Jesus was led by the Holy spirit into the wilderness where he could be tempted by the devil. He fasted in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights, without having anything to eat. The devil came out to Jesus and said ” if you are the Son of God change these stones to loaves of bread”. Jesus relied ” No! The scripture say man shall not leave by bread alone but by every word of God”. Then Jesus Christ was led by the devil to the highest point of the temple in Jerusalem, and then the devil told him to jump off that his angels will protect and nothing would happen to him, and Jesus replied “The scripture says, do not test the lord your God”. Finally the devil took Jesus to the highest mountain, and showed him all the nation and all it’s glory, then he said, “I will give it all to you, if only u knell down and worship me”. Jesus replied “Get out of here, Satan, for the scripture says you must worship the lord your God; serve only him”. Jesus Christ was a flawless leader. He overcame temptation, he would have change the stones to bread, or protected by the angels, but know he humbled h imself. Jesus Christ is an exemplary leader, which is why the Christians believe in him so much. Jesus Christ was no hypocrite. Jesus traveled throughout Galilee teaching and preaching in different synagogues and spreading the good news about the kingdom of God, by this time he had only four disciples, these were called the first disciples. Jesus Christ taught people a lot of things, he healed people of various kinds. News about him spread far beyond Galilee, and people with various illnesses and pain, the possessed, epileptic, and paralyzed people. Large crowds followed Jesus to wherever he went. People leart a lot from him, there were various teaching by Jesus: Teaching about Salt and Light Teaching about the Law Teaching about anger Teaching about Adultery Teaching about Divorce Teaching about revenge Teaching about Love for Enemies Teaching about Giving the Needy Teaching about Prayer and Fasting Teaching about money and possessions Effective prayers The Golden Rule The Narrow Gate The tree and its fruit True Disciples Building on a solid foundation And many others but these ones are the most important ones. The Golden is one of the most important teachings of Jesus Christ. The golden rule says: “Do for others what you would like them to do for you. This is a summary of all that is taught in the law and the prophets”. (New Living Translation Bible). “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the law and the prophet”. (English Standard Bible). “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets”. (King James Bible). Another important teaching of Jesus Christ was the Beatitudes. The great beatitudes: God blesses those who realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of haven is given to them. God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. God blesses those who are gentle and lowly, for the whole earth will belong to them. God blesses those who are hungry and thirsty for justice, for they will receive it in full. God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy. God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see god. God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. God blesses those who are persecuted because they live for God, for the kingdom of Heaven is theirs. (New living translation, Matthew 5) There were a lot of teachings, Jesus Christ cares about his people (Christians) that is why he tries to put us in the right path by telling the Christians, to do what is right and deviate from their wrong ways and doing. As time went on Jesus had twelve disciples: First Simon (Also called Peter) Andrew James (son of Zebedee) John Philip Bartholomew Thomas Matthew James (son of Alphaeus) Simon (son of Zealot). Jesus taught his disciples a lot; they passed through a lot of test. One of the tests they passed through was the heavy storm. Jesus and his disciples traveled across the lake to spread the gospel. Suddenly, there was a terrible storm. The disciples became petrified because Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went to him and woke him up, shouting that he should rescue them from danger and Jesus replied “why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” (New living translation). Then he stood up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly all was calm. The disciples were marveled at what he had done. Jesus went from city to city with his disciples, and kept on healing the demon possessed and paralyzed. Jesus kept on spreading the news and healing people in other to get more workers (Christians). He wanted a lot of people to hear the good news so they would help in passing the news to other people. At a certain time Jesus said to his people “Then saith he unto his disciples, the harvest truly is plenteous, but the labourers are few, Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest”. (King James Bible). ...Just fuckin with ya, this was all irrelevant.
@@shortlong8936 And if you haven't asked to have all your sins washed away and forgiven and accepted Pinocchio into your heart as your one, true, personal savior you're gonna be right there with him. Oh, and don't drink water, fish fcuk in it
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 76 | คู่เอก "ผึ้งหลวง vs สมิงดำ"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/9SBshmGQOIM/mqdefault.jpg)
"Wanna hear a good joke, man?"
"Yeah."
"Jesus is in Heaven, right, walking around, checking everybody out, you know. Cause it is His job, right? And everybody's fucking blissful, you know, halo and that. He gets over to this little dark corner, this little fellow there, old guy, crying his fucking eyes out, right? And Jesus says, "Excuse me," He says, "Listen, this is Heaven, you understand?" He said, like. "This is special," He said, "people go to church five times every Sunday every week of their lives to get up here." He said, "We can't have people fucking crying, it's just gonna let the place down, you know, I mean people are gonna start copying you, and then where would we be, you know?" And the old guy says, "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to cause any trouble but," he said, "when I was on Earth, you know, I was just a poor carpenter, and I had fuck-all, you know. Me and the wife, we had this little boy, we were like that, me and him, see? I was hoping he'd go into the carpentry trade with me, you know, but," he said, "when he was about 30 he said he had to go off on this mission with these 11 other guys into the desert. And I never saw him again," he said, "And I was hoping," he said, "you know, that when I came up here I'd find him again, you know, I've looked all over the fucking place and I can't find him anywhere," he said, "and it's really cracking me up." And Jesus with tears streaming down His cheeks goes, "Father!" and the guy goes, "Pinocchio!"
Lemmy bless you, very much my mate
this video is 7 y/o and you made a transcription exact at the same day ive watched it
@@user-ng3do7np1q looks like the algorithm is back at work 🍻
and jesus said "we can't have people fucking crying" lol Lemmy i love you
this is the best shit ever...
Maybe someone can translate it from the OzzyLemmyLanguage to Englisch.
Okay so, its about Jesus, who met a crying man in heavens.
So Jesus asks the man "excuse me but, this is heaven, we cannot have people fucking crying in there"
And the man responded "im sorry, but when i was back at the earth i was just a poor carpenter, and i have my dear son, which once walked away to the desert (im not sure but probably there was some part about spending 40 days on it), and i never met him again, so i was hoping that i will met him in there, but i cant find him eneywhere!"
And the Jesus looks at him, hugs him, and shouts "Father!"
And the man responds with "PINOCCIO!"
@@ludwigwittgenstein2422 Which part?
@@ludwigwittgenstein2422 So, Pinocchio's (the wood boy from shrek) father, was the same as Jesus's father, a carpenter, Jesus, similarly to Pinocchio spend some time at the desert, and most likely he (almost the same as Pinocchio) never saw his father again. So, when Jesus heard the story of this man, and when in the way the man described it, it was so similar to Jesus's father's story, Jesus was sure that old Guseppe is his father, so he hughs him. When the man is hugged by Jesus he starts to think that Jesus is Pinocchio, his beloved son, and shouts "Pinocchio!" because of it. I hope that despite my very experienced storytelling skills you will understand it now
I have it word for word. I don't understand why people don't understand Ozzy or Lemmy. They honestly speak quite clearly and enunciate their words.
"Wanna hear a good joke man? (Yeah.)
Jesus in heaven, right, walking around and checking everyone out. You know, that's his job, right? And everyone is all blissful, with halos and whatnot. He gets to this little dark corner, where this little old guy is crying his fucking eyes out.
And Jesus said "Excuse me, but this is Heaven. Do you understand?" Right? Jesus said "This is special, people go to Church, five times every Sunday every week of their lives to get up here." Jesus said "We can't have people fucking crying, it's going to let the place down, you know? I mean people are going to start copying you. Then what would we be?"
The old guy says "I'm sorry sir, I don't mean to cause any trouble but, when I was on Earth, I was just a poor carpenter. I had a wife and little boy, we were like that 🤞, *sigh* I was hoping he'd go into the carpentry trade with me, you know. But when he was about 30, he said he had to go off on this mission with these eleven other guys into the dessert. I never saw him again," he said. "I was hoping that when I came up here I would find him again. You know, I looked all over this freaking place and I can't find him anywhere. And it's really cracking me up."
And Jesus with tears streaming down his cheeks goes "FATHER!"
And the guy goes "PINOCCHIO!"
@@justinshannon6016 Hahaha... Thanks alot for this !
Geppeto!
Pinocchio!!! 😂😂
I can't make him out lol
I have it word for word.
"Wanna hear a good joke man? (Yeah.)
Jesus in heaven, right, walking around and checking everyone out. You know, that's his job, right? And everyone is all blissful, with halos and whatnot. He gets to this little dark corner, where this little old guy is crying his fucking eyes out.
And Jesus said "Excuse me, but this is Heaven. Do you understand?" Right? Jesus said "This is special, people go to Church, five times every Sunday every week of their lives to get up here." Jesus said "We can't have people fucking crying, it's going to let the place down, you know? I mean people are going to start copying you. Then what would we be?"
The old guy says "I'm sorry sir, I don't mean to cause any trouble but, when I was on Earth, I was just a poor carpenter. I had a wife and little boy, we were like that 🤞, *sigh* I was hoping he'd go into the carpentry trade with me, you know. But when he was about 30, he said he had to go off on this mission with these eleven other guys into the dessert. I never saw him again," he said. "I was hoping that when I came up here I would find him again. You know, I looked all over this freaking place and I can't find him anywhere. And it's really cracking me up."
And Jesus with tears streaming down his cheeks goes "FATHER!"
And the guy goes "PINOCCHIO!"
Didnt get it
💪💪
Hi guys i'm german and i'm doing hard to understand him ...can you write down the joke so i can read it 😅
Jesus Christ was born during the life and reign of Herod the Great who ruled Palestine at the end of the 1st Century B.C. on the 25th of December, which is celebrated by Christians every year in remembrance of the day Jesus Christ was born. Jesus was born in the town of Bethlehem in Judea by Virgin Mary in a manger. Joseph was the father of Jesus. Joseph was a carpenter. When Jesus was born the three wise men fro the east followed to star (Star of Bethlehem) to where Jesus was born. The three wise men bore with them gifts, Gold, Myrrh, and Frankincense. About that same time king Herod was deeply disturbed by the birth of Jesus Christ, because he heard a new king has been born. Herod became furious and sent his soldiers into Bethlehem to kill all the boys around two years and under. Joseph and Mary fled from Bethlehem to Egypt before the soldiers could get to them. Herod’s plan turned out to be a fiasco. When Herod died and everything had calmed down, Joseph and Mary with Jesus went to Galilee and settled down in a town called Nazareth, were Jesus grew up, where Jesus Christ was called the “Nazarene” (Jesus of Nazareth). Jesus was a leader all through his life even from birth.
After the baptism of Jesus Christ the, Jesus was led by the Holy spirit into the wilderness where he could be tempted by the devil. He fasted in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights, without having anything to eat.
The devil came out to Jesus and said ” if you are the Son of God change these stones to loaves of bread”. Jesus relied ” No! The scripture say man shall not leave by bread alone but by every word of God”. Then Jesus Christ was led by the devil to the highest point of the temple in Jerusalem, and then the devil told him to jump off that his angels will protect and nothing would happen to him, and Jesus replied “The scripture says, do not test the lord your God”. Finally the devil took Jesus to the highest mountain, and showed him all the nation and all it’s glory, then he said, “I will give it all to you, if only u knell down and worship me”. Jesus replied “Get out of here, Satan, for the scripture says you must worship the lord your God; serve only him”. Jesus Christ was a flawless leader. He overcame temptation, he would have change the stones to bread, or protected by the angels, but know he humbled h imself. Jesus Christ is an exemplary leader, which is why the Christians believe in him so much. Jesus Christ was no hypocrite.
Jesus traveled throughout Galilee teaching and preaching in different synagogues and spreading the good news about the kingdom of God, by this time he had only four disciples, these were called the first disciples. Jesus Christ taught people a lot of things, he healed people of various kinds. News about him spread far beyond Galilee, and people with various illnesses and pain, the possessed, epileptic, and paralyzed people. Large crowds followed Jesus to wherever he went. People leart a lot from him, there were various teaching by Jesus:
Teaching about Salt and Light
Teaching about the Law
Teaching about anger
Teaching about Adultery
Teaching about Divorce
Teaching about revenge
Teaching about Love for Enemies
Teaching about Giving the Needy
Teaching about Prayer and Fasting
Teaching about money and possessions
Effective prayers
The Golden Rule
The Narrow Gate
The tree and its fruit
True Disciples
Building on a solid foundation
And many others but these ones are the most important ones.
The Golden is one of the most important teachings of Jesus Christ. The golden rule says: “Do for others what you would like them to do for you. This is a summary of all that is taught in the law and the prophets”. (New Living Translation Bible). “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the law and the prophet”. (English Standard Bible). “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets”. (King James Bible).
Another important teaching of Jesus Christ was the Beatitudes. The great beatitudes:
God blesses those who realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of haven is given to them.
God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
God blesses those who are gentle and lowly, for the whole earth will belong to them.
God blesses those who are hungry and thirsty for justice, for they will receive it in full.
God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see god.
God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.
God blesses those who are persecuted because they live for God, for the kingdom of Heaven is theirs. (New living translation, Matthew 5)
There were a lot of teachings, Jesus Christ cares about his people (Christians) that is why he tries to put us in the right path by telling the Christians, to do what is right and deviate from their wrong ways and doing.
As time went on Jesus had twelve disciples:
First Simon (Also called Peter)
Andrew
James (son of Zebedee)
John
Philip
Bartholomew
Thomas
Matthew
James (son of Alphaeus)
Simon (son of Zealot).
Jesus taught his disciples a lot; they passed through a lot of test. One of the tests they passed through was the heavy storm. Jesus and his disciples traveled across the lake to spread the gospel. Suddenly, there was a terrible storm. The disciples became petrified because Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went to him and woke him up, shouting that he should rescue them from danger and Jesus replied “why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” (New living translation). Then he stood up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly all was calm. The disciples were marveled at what he had done.
Jesus went from city to city with his disciples, and kept on healing the demon possessed and paralyzed. Jesus kept on spreading the news and healing people in other to get more workers (Christians). He wanted a lot of people to hear the good news so they would help in passing the news to other people. At a certain time Jesus said to his people “Then saith he unto his disciples, the harvest truly is plenteous, but the labourers are few, Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest”. (King James Bible).
...Just fuckin with ya, this was all irrelevant.
@@shortlong8936 man i stopped on time...
@@Alonoda =)))))) i was close to hit it
@@shortlong8936 how.. How did u type all of that and why. Although it was very informative ty mate
Can't understand his accent 😔
I don't get it... :(
lol
Dick
Then you're going to hell, sorry to say.
@@shortlong8936 And if you haven't asked to have all your sins washed away and forgiven and accepted Pinocchio into your heart as your one, true, personal savior you're gonna be right there with him. Oh, and don't drink water, fish fcuk in it
Omg Subtitles are racists