@@dreameva1400ah yes, on the first date I’ll just ask if the person has any stupid family naming tradition and bring up kids! sounds like a perfect first date that definitely won’t scare anyone off. but hey, at least I didn’t waste their time
@@dreameva1400 sounds like that's the responsibility of the person who has the weird traditions that they want to force their partner to participate in.
@@tracychallice1099thiers and your time. If it's really that important to You. You have to have this things in consideration and bring them up early, before marriage or children.
If they give the kid a weird name, that kid is getting bullied 100%, even if it's a "family tradition". If anything, the knowledge that there's a whole family of people with that name is just going to lead to more bullying. She definitely should leave him. So many more red flags she's probably not even seeing.
Honestly, she’s not over reacting. Before marriage and kids is the perfect time to discuss these very real concerns. Some people will never understand that passing of a family name and some absolute want to do. Her feelings are valid and if you don’t want your kid to have a name no one can force you. If that’s a hill they’re both willing to die on then there’s no point to continue that relationship.
This is a good time to talk about expectations, OP might find out there are deal-breakers for both of them. Better to do it now before you get more invested in the relationship, it might save you from some difficulties later
I found it uncomfortable to give up my last name when i got married so i dragged my feet about changing my ID for about 8 yrs. Then when i finally when to change it i was told that i could keep my last name if i hifinated it with my husband last name .so i chose that option and we are both happy with it 😅😂😂😂😂
You can also both just keep your last name.My father is actually the first man in my state to change his last name to his wife's last name.So I'm not changing mine when I get married.In fact, I refuse to get married without the man changing his last name.If i'm going to get pregnant and rip my body and half the least he can do is change his last name
Where I live, women don't take their husband last name, never. And everybody has two last names: one from their father, one from their mother, in whatever the order parents decide (it used to be father's first, but now parents can choose). In you ID, drivers license, official documents... everywhere, it's your name and your two last names.
@EsoteriaHealing you just keep one last name from your father and one from your mother (I'm Susanna Riera G***, Riera is my father first last name, G*** my mother's. If I have a child, their last names would be Riera + father's one or father's one+Riera, order is up to the parents but if you have more than one kid all the siblings must follow the same order. So, just two last names. 😉
One of my husband's uncles is named John. Uncle John named his son after him and is called Johnny. Then my husband, who was born around the same time, got randomly named John, so he goes by John Allen (his middle name) when we visit his mom's side of the family. What makes it even more confusing is my bonus mom remarried a few years after my dad passed away and his name is also John. So things can already be complicated WITHOUT family traditions. Also, I am also in the same boat as OP in that I only had one sister and when we pass our last name will be gone. I decided to keep my last name when I got married and my husband had no problem with it. He just wanted to be married to me. Plus we live in The South and I moved here from The North, so I'm known as Mrs. Hubby's Last Name anyway since most folks only know me through my husband anyway. 😂
When my two best friends got married, they both hyphenated their last names since she was then an only child (her sister had passed away) and she didn't want to give up her family name. I thought it was a beautiful thing for them both to do.
I am sorta wondering what the name is, I guess what I’m thinking is if his grandfather has it and it’s an old name, it can’t be all that weird unless it’s like moustache man’s name or something, that would be a hard line obviously She has every right to have input on her kid’s name, I’m just really curious because I can’t think of any boy name that old that’s really all that weird
A woman's last name will eventually always die out because even if you hyphenate your name, the kids will still have the fathers last name. Including the hyphenated name in your kids name is just torture. (I have both my parents names, my name and our last name in my name and I have keep explaining myself every where and document problems)
I find that unlikely to believe even if it's a cultural thing, unless it's actively not allowed surely there's some women who chose to change or hyphenate their last names even if it's a minority. I think everyone regardless of gender should be able to choose what they wish to do with their last name after marriage, choice is more important than tradition, so I'll only be happy for your country if that's something the women choose for themselves.
The whole trend of saying “fuck tradition” this century is just cringe. Tradition is how culture is preserved. If we have no traditions our culture rots. Doesnt matter how silly you think it is. Tradition dies on the altar of self-indulgence and narcissism.
And isn't it narcissistic to expect your name to be carried on down the bloodline. Without realising/acknowledging a person who ISNT blood family has to consent to this for THEIR baby
It is HIS family tradition not HER tradition. It's irrational to expect that a new person need to leave their traditions for yours.
then go date someone who will agree with your traditions then.... don't waste anyone's time....
@@dreameva1400ah yes, on the first date I’ll just ask if the person has any stupid family naming tradition and bring up kids! sounds like a perfect first date that definitely won’t scare anyone off. but hey, at least I didn’t waste their time
@@dreameva1400 sounds like that's the responsibility of the person who has the weird traditions that they want to force their partner to participate in.
@@tracychallice1099thiers and your time. If it's really that important to You. You have to have this things in consideration and bring them up early, before marriage or children.
If they give the kid a weird name, that kid is getting bullied 100%, even if it's a "family tradition". If anything, the knowledge that there's a whole family of people with that name is just going to lead to more bullying. She definitely should leave him. So many more red flags she's probably not even seeing.
Honestly, she’s not over reacting. Before marriage and kids is the perfect time to discuss these very real concerns.
Some people will never understand that passing of a family name and some absolute want to do.
Her feelings are valid and if you don’t want your kid to have a name no one can force you.
If that’s a hill they’re both willing to die on then there’s no point to continue that relationship.
This is a good time to talk about expectations, OP might find out there are deal-breakers for both of them. Better to do it now before you get more invested in the relationship, it might save you from some difficulties later
I found it uncomfortable to give up my last name when i got married so i dragged my feet about changing my ID for about 8 yrs. Then when i finally when to change it i was told that i could keep my last name if i hifinated it with my husband last name .so i chose that option and we are both happy with it 😅😂😂😂😂
You can also both just keep your last name.My father is actually the first man in my state to change his last name to his wife's last name.So I'm not changing mine when I get married.In fact, I refuse to get married without the man changing his last name.If i'm going to get pregnant and rip my body and half the least he can do is change his last name
Where I live, women don't take their husband last name, never. And everybody has two last names: one from their father, one from their mother, in whatever the order parents decide (it used to be father's first, but now parents can choose). In you ID, drivers license, official documents... everywhere, it's your name and your two last names.
@@susannariera I'm curious how is the next generation named then? This way the length of the last name just keeps increasing 😅
@EsoteriaHealing you just keep one last name from your father and one from your mother (I'm Susanna Riera G***, Riera is my father first last name, G*** my mother's. If I have a child, their last names would be Riera + father's one or father's one+Riera, order is up to the parents but if you have more than one kid all the siblings must follow the same order. So, just two last names. 😉
One of my husband's uncles is named John. Uncle John named his son after him and is called Johnny. Then my husband, who was born around the same time, got randomly named John, so he goes by John Allen (his middle name) when we visit his mom's side of the family. What makes it even more confusing is my bonus mom remarried a few years after my dad passed away and his name is also John. So things can already be complicated WITHOUT family traditions.
Also, I am also in the same boat as OP in that I only had one sister and when we pass our last name will be gone. I decided to keep my last name when I got married and my husband had no problem with it. He just wanted to be married to me. Plus we live in The South and I moved here from The North, so I'm known as Mrs. Hubby's Last Name anyway since most folks only know me through my husband anyway. 😂
When my two best friends got married, they both hyphenated their last names since she was then an only child (her sister had passed away) and she didn't want to give up her family name. I thought it was a beautiful thing for them both to do.
She can keep her last name and her kids can and should have it too.
Nah both parents need to agree with the name.
Agreed. They both contributed DNA and they both get a say.
I would've have asked his family about that weird tradition before any confusion baby naming shenanigans .
No way he& the family get over it
I am sorta wondering what the name is, I guess what I’m thinking is if his grandfather has it and it’s an old name, it can’t be all that weird unless it’s like moustache man’s name or something, that would be a hard line obviously
She has every right to have input on her kid’s name, I’m just really curious because I can’t think of any boy name that old that’s really all that weird
Glad it got resolved I guess 😶
Nta. It’s not overreacting when you’re discussing your future with someone you think you’ll marry
😂😂 I don't know why but Dakota reminds me of Eric from boy meets world. Hi guys 😊❤❤❤
A woman's last name will eventually always die out because even if you hyphenate your name, the kids will still have the fathers last name. Including the hyphenated name in your kids name is just torture. (I have both my parents names, my name and our last name in my name and I have keep explaining myself every where and document problems)
So happy in my country women don't take their husbands last name! Never.
I find that unlikely to believe even if it's a cultural thing, unless it's actively not allowed surely there's some women who chose to change or hyphenate their last names even if it's a minority. I think everyone regardless of gender should be able to choose what they wish to do with their last name after marriage, choice is more important than tradition, so I'll only be happy for your country if that's something the women choose for themselves.
The whole trend of saying “fuck tradition” this century is just cringe.
Tradition is how culture is preserved. If we have no traditions our culture rots. Doesnt matter how silly you think it is.
Tradition dies on the altar of self-indulgence and narcissism.
A family having a naming tradition is a family tradition not a country's traditions. No ones heritage or culture is being squashed here.
And isn't it narcissistic to expect your name to be carried on down the bloodline. Without realising/acknowledging a person who ISNT blood family has to consent to this for THEIR baby