This is heartbreaking and absolutely beautiful. Please don't erase it ever Darren and PLEASE DON'T STOP VLOGGING..... You(and Britney) are such an inspiration to all of us. We love you dearly❤️❤️
Thank you, Dave! It's been a wild ride, and I was able to capture the straight up miracles God gave us, for her to be reminded of every day. He is SO good!
Me either...I look everyday for these videos....My heart breaks for you Darrin...But I know that God is with you...and Brittany too! She's in your and our hearts forever 😢🙏🙏🙏😢
Hi , I came across your page and wanted say hello. I'm very sorry your wife is sick. I lost my husband 6 years ago. Today is his Birthday. He'd be 61. same as me. This experience really changes a person. I completely know what your feeling.
It just now dawned on me...I loss my late husband in 2008 from kidney cancer...oh my I just now realized that was what Brittany past from...and I've watched all the videos...From the time you both started filming , then I couldn't find you not know that you both were not posting...So I'm so glad you started posting again so we could share this journey with you...wow it's still blowing my mind that I'm just realizing they both past from kidney cancer...No wonder I'm so drawn to you both...God is with you..
Hey Pixi! First, thank you so much! I really appreciate your comment. I'm sorry about your husband. I'm praying for your grief that God grants you comfort - right now. I know it was 6 years ago, but that kind of pain... It's always there a bit. Secondly, since you're new, lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022. The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives. Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
Carrie, God bless you as well! Yeah. Brittany had a rare case - it didn't present like the normal version of the cancer. It's supposed to appear in older males 60+. She was female, and under 30. So, it threw all the docs for a loop. It was also monstrously aggressive.
I tried, Jen. I really tried. I just kept my vows in mind - love her like Christ loved the church. He did so with sacrificial love. And while, I couldn't take her place, I could put aside anything and everything I could to make sure she was as comfortable and as loved as possible throughout every step of the journey. God gave me the strength to do as much as I did.
So Darrin has actually been my IRL Best Friend and Brother From Another Mother for going on 25 years now (well, co-Best Friend, along with Todd. Three Musketeers and all that). And he only just now told me about this channel (which is classic Darrin). We've lived a state apart for a while now, and one of my biggest regrets is that I never got the pleasure to meet Brittany in person before she passed. But I wanted to come here and give a shout out to my bestie. Through some of the happiest as well as many of the lowest and roughest points of my life, Darrin has been there for me. Through everything from celebrations and laughs, break-ups, to complete rock-bottom mental health collapse, Darrin was always there. His steadfast and unwavering friendship has literally saved my life. Whenever I take a moment to count my blessings in this world, his friendship is always one of the first things that come to mind. I say without any exaggeration whatsoever that he is one of the best people I know. Though we may not always agree or see eye-to-eye on everything, I've never for one moment doubted his genuinely good intentions. His integrity and character are, imho, beyond reproach. I can think of no words that can adequately describe how good and how large this man's heart is (sometimes too large for his own good lol). And I consider it to be a genuine privilege to have had him in my life. I've never really felt worthy of his friendship, but I will truly be forever grateful for it. It makes my heart swell to see that so many people have given him the love and support that he so richly deserves. And I want to thank every single person here who's ever given him so much as a kind word. Thank all of you. And thank you, Darrin. For everything. I love you, brother.
I honestly forgot you didn't know. lol. I just assume you have telepathy half the time. Regardless, the journey is long and well documented. Episodes 1-15, Brittany is uploading all the vlogging we did in real time, maybe a month behind or so. After 15, she became too sick to upload. BUT, we never stopped filming. Everything from 15 forward, I uploaded. When she came back from organ failure at 80, I caught the downright miraculous transition on camera in the proceeding episodes. 81 and 82 she her organs come back online and essentially stumped the doctors - medical mystery style. She just... came back. You can call it what you want, but... the real healing was what happened directly following her 180 deathbed turnaround. Her entire estranged family was reunited. I suddenly had another group of people that I never expected to meet. Reconciliation happened. Healing within her family was real. I have a father-in-law now. He comes in on one of the episodes too to just chat and talk about his day with her. Really wild stuff. The next few episodes, I captured my thought and feelings and words as she was passing away. It's gonna be rough. But... I don't show anything terrible.
Your faith and hers is a beautiful thing to see! We will all die someday but not all of us will get to glorify God in the process! May the Lord Jesus heal you and fill you with His Perfect Peace🙏💪🕊💕⚘
Thanks, Ava! I'm not sure what's going to happen as I go forward into the next Christmas season. I'll definitely have to keep that tradition up. I'll definitely catch it and upload it for you guys! 😊
@@Beyond_Cancer be sure you make photos of it all! I painted on a wall for a granddaughter before she was born, and they had to leave it when they moved. They didn't think to take pictures of it!
I absolutely love the writing on the wall. What a great tribute to God. It is such a thoughtful way to remind us all of Gods love for us. I see his blessings regularly. Rest easy Darrin, you have done great things 🙏🏻
I am in awe!! Wow, the wall writings are absolutely beautiful!! Such a wonderful thing to do for Brittney and for yourself. Thank you for sharing with us. I know that you had said recently, that the videos that you and Brittney had recorded are almost done now, but I hope that you will still make a video every once in awhile, just to let us know how you are doing ( and the dogs too). I will continue to pray for you. I wish you peace, comfort and happiness Darrin🙏🏻💛
I’m so sorry to see the look of grief on your face. It seems as you go about telling us of the writing on the walls…you are reflecting on every event, God moment, blessing, and promises that you and Brittany experienced together. Grief sucks, and sometimes it takes a long time for it to melt away. I pray for your peace of mind, body, and spirit! It has truly been a blessing to watch the story of your lives, so to speak. You let us peek behind the curtain, to witness the good, the bad, and the ugly…..but behind the scenes no matter what, God was there! Know you always will have a social media support group/extended family so to speak! Thank you my friend, for your time, your words, and sharing your beautiful wife with us! Hugs and prayer for peace to you, now and always!!!
Thank you, Tiffany! I really appreciate all the love and support. It's been a wild ride, and I'm grateful for everyone coming alongside me! God is good. And there's not enough praise in the world for everything He does for us!
I just found your videos and i am watching them all. Your wife had such a positive outlook on everything. Im so happy that you are letting us watch the journey you both went through. If i may ask, how old was she when she passed? ❤🙏
Hey All About Crime! Thanks for the question - but first, if you'll indulge me - the template: Not sure if you've been with us for awhile or not, so lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022. The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives. Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching! Okay, now that that's out the way, allow me to address your question. Brittany passed at 23. Her birthday was April 6th, so she was a few months away from 24. Now, to address the other question which you may or may not have implied or have been too kinda to ask (lol) - there's a 16 year age gap between us. We had a weird story, and I address how we started dating early on around episode 25ish? Which explains why on earth someone like her would want to date and marry someone like me, and vice versa. lol. I'm not trying to offend, and I'm not offended by the question - (if that was what you were asking at all!) Regardless, our early journey contained a bit of that too. Some of it was caught on camera, but by that point, almost everyone was concerned more about the cancer than our age gap. But, hey, it is what it is. lol.
@@Beyond_Cancer thank you so much for the reply. I hope I didn't offend you. I was only asking her age because I knew she was somewhat young and it saddens me when I see people so young get diagnosed with cancer. The age gap between you both was not even on my mind. My parents were 13 years apart. Age doesn't mean anything, unless of course it's a minor. I started watching a few videos back but I am of course going back and watching the older ones too. One of the first videos that came up for me was the ones where God performed a miracle on Brittany. That was so beautiful to see. I'm so inspired by the love you both had for each other and for the hope that Brittany displayed throughout her journey. I know I have watched some of the videos out of order but I will be watching them all. God bless you for letting us in on you and Brittany's journey. This must be so healing for you.🙏❤️
No offense at all! I usually make a much bigger deal about it than I need to. haha. Brittany always told me "no one cares, Darrin." But, I still did. Still do, I guess. I'm happy you're following along and I'm glad that with us!
I so love the idea with writings on the wall. Some people believe that it would be too hard to look at those writings and pictures. It's hard, but when my Mom died I kept her pictures all around. People told me I was making it harder on myself, but it gave me peace. I did cry a lot, but it needs to come out. Darrin I hope it brings you peace and keeps you close to Brittany. Don't ever change. God knew you would love and take care of her. God Bless. 🙏💕🙏
Thanks Darlene! And I relate! I keep a some pictures and the Provisions around. I'm sure I'll slowly move them around as time goes on. For now, they're comforting and helpful.
Just found your channel came up in my feed...the 4:20 timemark of this video....as I am bow age 65 and a widow twice, both died of long battle of heart failure...I can easily say, I can so relate....its been 10 years since the last has passed and I am still healing....please take your time to heal, dont fall back in love for years....trust me...till you know for sure that you are ready
Thank you, Diana's Dreams. I will certainly take my time and heal. I know the road will be long and tough, but God's got me. He'll get me through. He always has. Since you're new, lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022. The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives. Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
Thanks, Madgrace! It does "fit" my home, a bit. I'm a bit nutty myself. lol. But, I will be erasing it eventually. Not now, not soon... but eventually. I just don;'t know when.
A beautiful testimony to Brittany's faith, and of course your faith as well, Darrin. I'm Christian too, and the message that comes out of watching videos such as this one is very encouraging - that God is always with us, no matter what the circumstances. God indeed works in mysterious ways, and it sounded like He knew exactly what you both needed, so He provided as a good father does. God was also an important part of your marriage too which was great to see but is sadly rare these days. Brittany is no longer suffering and she's with her Father in heaven now. Obviously God wanted her back home with Him. So wonderful to see faith at work in your daily lives. You were indeed blessed to have Brittany as your wife. 🙏📿
Thank you, Carmel! You're absolutely right! I often have to remind myself of this little phrasing: "She was His, long before she was mine. And He's a much better provider than I can ever be. So, when He calls her home, what right do I have to keep her here, away from the better man." something along those lines. I appreciate you coming along with us for the journey!
You were a loving and caring husband and took good care of her to the end she was so young to have to leave but the only thing we can say is she is not suffering no more she is made whole again in Heaven. God be with you and cradle you in his arms as you go through this grief.
What a beautiful idea the writing on the wall. Heartbreaking but precious seeing Brittany writing as well ❤. Your love for Brittany and your faith together shine through.
Thank you, Karen. I think it brought her a lot of joy in that moment, getting to stand and write, what she was writing about and just taking part in what we were doing. She was couch-bound so much of the time.
oh my goodness i have tears flowing watching you all on ur last christmas together omg i’m so sad now . i’m not ready for the last of her videos . 😢i can honestly speak for everyone on here we all have grown to love Brittany and not ready to let her go ! Darrin i still keep you in my prayers my heart breaks for you !
This is a very emotional video. My heart is actually pounding. Watching Britney writing on the wall and then seeing the room filled with words. I could feel the loss, and your grief. I only feel the loss in real life, not videos. If that makes sense. I am no stranger to loss or grief. You were both blessed with caring friends who looked after you and Brittany. It just shows what special people you are. The doggie Christmas was heartwarming. ❤️
❤😢😮😮😢❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤oooooh I'm in tears..... I'm quite new to this channel and never realized she passed away. Sooo sad, you guys had a love that was so great, so close, so gentle. She never should have died, we're here on earth to give and share love, and that is what you both did. I'm glad you are sharing it through your channel, it awakes the love we all have and have forgotten to cultivate in our super busy lives
Thank you, Binebum. I tried. I always tried to keep our vows in mind - Love her as Christ loved the church. Christ died for us. So, I chose to sacrifice every little thing I could reasonably do for her love and comfort. I couldn't take the cancer from her - I gladly would - but I did everything I could to make sure we had a beautiful marriage and lead her always back to Christ. It was the least I could do.
@@Beyond_Cancer thank you for taking the time to reply,and thank you for what you did and try to do. Don't forget,you inspire and reawaken that inothers, through your channel. Although I'm sure, sometimes that is small comfort, for the grief and loss your going through. I lost my partner 2 1/2 years ago, to cancer. Strangely enough, I have decided not to move on, but leave time and priority for reflection,and to honor the love we had, the moments, the things we built together. It is a lonely life, people say I'm stuck in the past. But the past and present are really one, the past gives depth to the present moment, like the growth rings give majesty to a large tree. Keep well my friend, I hope you still have your three beautiful dogs to take care of🥰
I'm so sorry, Binebum! I'm praying right now for your peace and comfort. May he give you strength to hold the vigil as long as you would like. And, may that time be filled with memories and peace.
I love your beautiful pups. I have four myself. My guys would take from each other's boxes and fight over them! I imagine these babies comfort you so much in her absence. My colitis has brought us a lot of heartache and fear, and I turn to our great Lord for protection and relief and He fights the devil alongside us. Prayers for you, you wonderful disciple!
Thank you, Libranpoet! So much. The doggos do bring me comfort in her absence for sure. But, I had to give Butter back to Brittany's grandmother. He didn't like Brittany missing, and was fighting Milo all the time. But, the pack is thriving now.
I agree, Shugger! I miss her voice. The doggos do too. Every time I upload a vid with her in it, and she says Milo's name, he comes running to the computer. It's so sad, but he loved her too! Anyway, Hi! I'm not sure if you've been with us for awhile or not, so lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022. The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives. Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
Thank you Cindy!!! It's always the Milo show in this house. Seriously, that sound you heard in the last episode, I had to cut a segment of me yelling at him for "chewing" on a giant rock from the backyard. I don't know how this dog is still alive!
Oh Darrin, that's just beautiful. As you showed the lists, I was hoping you'd have kept it. So glad you did. It must be tricky not to smear it. What kind of marker?
So beautiful ❤️ this brings so much more meaning to the Quote "the writing on the wall". When my sister in law passed from multiple myeloma we had bracelets made with her handwriting from a card. It was so beautiful. ❤many prayers for healing n gentle hugs 🙏
Thank you, John! I wouldn't call our love for each other special or anything, but we did a lot of work to make sure we were as close as we were. A lot of work and a lot of prayer! Not sure if you've been with us for awhile or not, so lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022. The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives. Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
What a great idea to write history on your walls. It must be such a comfort to you these difficult days. Thanks for sharing your journey with us, it helps when we are struggling in a similar situation.
I’m so glad you had such wonderful friends to help you get through this difficult time. I can see why you two were so in love. You’ll see her again, I’m sure. God bless you and comfort you.
Bless your beautiful hearts ❤ this is so very beautiful and precious, and heartbreaking at the same time. Aww that made me cry when you were both giving both your beautiful three furbabies their Christmas gifts ❤❤❤ incredible video. I'm sending you so much love and prayers always ❤️ 🙏 xxx
I have watched each video but not commented. Her physical health didn’t diminish her utter grace and love for you. I hate that you’re in pain D (if I may still call you that) and wish I could hug you. -lil Sis
Calliopi, I certainly tried! Throughout this journey, I tried to keep my mind on my vows - I was to love her as Christ loved the Church. And He loved us so much that He died for us. So, since I couldn't actively "take" the tumor from her, I made sure that I sacrificed in every way possible to make sure she knew how much she was loved and bring her as much comfort and peace as humanly possible. I wasn't perfect, but I think I did okay. Additionally, I'm not sure if you've been with us for awhile or not, so lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022. The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives. Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
hey JustMarla! Not sure if you've been with us for awhile or not, so lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022. The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives. Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
You're doing great, it's perfectly normal for people to tear up talking about their loved ones even many years adter they passed away. Got a bit dizzy watching the background rotating and jumping all the time... ;-)
Thanks A! I tried to keep the movement to a minimum. It's especially bad in episode 80, 81 and 82. But, anytime I'm moving, I try and keep the camera fairly steady.
Heeeey! Since you're new around these parts, lemme give you the "template" - I try and post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022. The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives. Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
Im different in my belief about the wall, I would think it would be very detrimental to your mental health..I don't believe you can heal emotionally when you are confronted every moment of the day with these feelings, you'll always have those memories in your mind and heart, I just don't see how being forced to relive it everyday could be helpful for healing and moving forward.. hopefully one day you will be ready to put it behind you in order to look for a future without all those painful memories and instead of crying when you think of her, you smile ..but i dont see that happening when you are confronted with your walls every waking day..jmo ..
I look at it as a way to stay grateful by counting blessings. When we have to say an early goodbye to someone we love so much, we want to remember all the good things. We are all different and we need different things to cope with life on earth without someone so important in our lives. They are both believers so they will be together again. My brother and daughter are both in Heaven. I think of them as more alive than I am, just living in a different part of the universe. The tough parts do not affect me as much as they would if I thought of them as gone. Do you see what I mean?
He needs to erase all that eventually move on find someone new and have children. Your young a lot of life left actually u should move out find another house start fresh again. Life is not over u get another shot with new person eventually. Don't sulk in misery forever. Let go or u will never move forward.
Hey guys! You all have a point. The words on the wall have been both. A source of comfort and a source of torment. I've decided a long time ago that I will remove the writing. Just not yet. Not sure when - just when I'm ready. I had to at least do a video on them... which I have. I will move on, eventually as well. I know she would want me to. But, I can take my time. lol
@@Beyond_Cancer I don't pretend to know what's best , I just know that my heart hurts for you and i wish we could help you find your smile and contagious laugh again..
Hey Lisa! Great question! It would be easy for me to say, MDA did it. But, as time has gone on and as the cloud of grief has lifted a bit, I'm now in the - it was just the cancer - camp. Lemme explain. Recently, I looked up her tumor type and survival rates. Most cancers are presented as a percentage of patients who are still alive past the 5 year mark after being diagnosed. It's a good and balanced metric when describing cancers. The percentage is simply the average of patients still alive at that point. But Brittany's cancer is not categorized that way. It's so aggressive, it's just listed in average number of months the patient lives for. And that number is 18. Brittany fought her cancer for exactly 18 months, before passing. The certain that the docs abandoning her at stage they did had very VERY little to do with her death.
GRIEF NEVER ENDS BUT IT CHANGES. ITS A PASSAGE… NOT A PLACE TO STAY🙏🏻GRIEF IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS NOR A LACK OF FAITH. IT IS THE PRICE OF LOVE🙏🏻💙💖💘🎈🍁❤️🩹🥰👏🏻❣️🫶🏻❤️💗🍂
Margosia, great question! I cover this a bit in episode 25ish, I think? We had a 16 year age gap between us. It was not what I expected or what she expected. She was 19 when I met her. She was so business-casual and so mature, I (and EVERYONE around me) thought she was mid 20s. I was immature and goofy, she though I was mid to late 20s. I talk about how we connected in that episode, so I won't rehash it here. BUT, with a little nudging of the Holy Spirit, we decided we were getting married before we even went on our first date... or knew what each others ages were. At that point, we had a choice to make - give up what we had because of how we would be seen... or just trust what we felt we were being called to do. We decided to just push through and trust that our instincts were right. Best choice we ever made.
@@Beyond_Cancer Thank you for your reply :). I asked this question because just was curious. You were great and beautiful couple and some day you will meet again. I wish you all the best !!! Not everyone has luck to meet someone special in you entire life.
Who said you had to stop? Maybe you should keep adding to the wall for awhile. Just a thought. Brit's body died. Your love didn't, and neither did your journey.
Janelle, You're right. But, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just couldn't. And I still can't. eventually, I'll wind up erasing it, but for now... it stays. A reminder, not only to her while she was here, but to me as well, that she's with the Father in heaven.
If God loved her so much, why did he give her cancer and cause her so much suffering?Please accept that good people get sick and you need not cling on to make belive to comfort you
God doesn't give us diseases. Our bodies are imperfect and as such, we are prone to get sick. God doesn't punish us, make us sick, he doesn't "need another angel". We inherited death from Adam and Eve, and eventually, we all end up dying. It's sad that Brittany died so early. Everyone has their own way in grieving. Darin is doing it his way and what works for him.
Thanks, 132allie. Ladyalexm, part of our journey (the earlier episodes) you see us struggling with this concept. And ultimately, as faithful believers, we turned to the source of Truth for answers. And, contrary to popularism, there's a LOT there about the suffering servant. We don't have a savior who's distant. We have one that came to earth as a man. Lived as man lives, but did so perfectly. Experienced joys and devastation as a man. And ultimately, died as a man for a sacrifice for our sins. He rose again, fully man, fully deity. We worship a God that does not always spare us from pain and suffering, but will be with us while we are suffering. weep with us as we weep. Wrap us in his arms when we have nothing left to give. And ultimately die for us. Even the Father did not spare His son. God didn't give my wife cancer. Cancer grew within her, and our lives were already devoted to Him. How we walked this story out was how we chose to walk our journey with Him. I hope you would continue to watch. Some truly amazing things happened - episode 80 onward, my wife comes back from organ failure and downright stumps doctors. And I caught it on film.
This is heartbreaking and absolutely beautiful. Please don't erase it ever Darren and PLEASE DON'T STOP VLOGGING..... You(and Britney) are such an inspiration to all of us. We love you dearly❤️❤️
Thank you, Fia! I plan on continuing to vlog a bit. But, I probably will clean up the walls at some point. Not now, but eventually.
brother the idea with the sentences on the wall was so beautifull, you were such a awesome partner to her!
Thank you, Dave! It's been a wild ride, and I was able to capture the straight up miracles God gave us, for her to be reminded of every day. He is SO good!
I don't want Brittany's videos to come to an end ❤
You and me both, Wendy. You and me both.
Me either...I look everyday for these videos....My heart breaks for you Darrin...But I know that God is with you...and Brittany too! She's in your and our hearts forever 😢🙏🙏🙏😢
I'm crying watching this. Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted. (Beautitides)
Amen, Caroline. Amen!
Me too❤
Yes Amen Caroline...
Hi , I came across your page and wanted say hello. I'm very sorry your wife is sick. I lost my husband 6 years ago. Today is his Birthday. He'd be 61. same as me. This experience really changes a person. I completely know what your feeling.
It just now dawned on me...I loss my late husband in 2008 from kidney cancer...oh my I just now realized that was what Brittany past from...and I've watched all the videos...From the time you both started filming , then I couldn't find you not know that you both were not posting...So I'm so glad you started posting again so we could share this journey with you...wow it's still blowing my mind that I'm just realizing they both past from kidney cancer...No wonder I'm so drawn to you both...God is with you..
Hey Pixi! First, thank you so much! I really appreciate your comment. I'm sorry about your husband. I'm praying for your grief that God grants you comfort - right now. I know it was 6 years ago, but that kind of pain... It's always there a bit. Secondly, since you're new, lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022.
The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives.
Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
Carrie, God bless you as well! Yeah. Brittany had a rare case - it didn't present like the normal version of the cancer. It's supposed to appear in older males 60+. She was female, and under 30. So, it threw all the docs for a loop. It was also monstrously aggressive.
This is beautiful, you were an amazing husband to Brittany.
I tried, Jen. I really tried. I just kept my vows in mind - love her like Christ loved the church. He did so with sacrificial love. And while, I couldn't take her place, I could put aside anything and everything I could to make sure she was as comfortable and as loved as possible throughout every step of the journey. God gave me the strength to do as much as I did.
I love the writing on the wall!!! Looks great 😊 😇🙏🏻🌹🌹🌹
haha. Thank you!
So Darrin has actually been my IRL Best Friend and Brother From Another Mother for going on 25 years now (well, co-Best Friend, along with Todd. Three Musketeers and all that). And he only just now told me about this channel (which is classic Darrin). We've lived a state apart for a while now, and one of my biggest regrets is that I never got the pleasure to meet Brittany in person before she passed. But I wanted to come here and give a shout out to my bestie.
Through some of the happiest as well as many of the lowest and roughest points of my life, Darrin has been there for me. Through everything from celebrations and laughs, break-ups, to complete rock-bottom mental health collapse, Darrin was always there. His steadfast and unwavering friendship has literally saved my life. Whenever I take a moment to count my blessings in this world, his friendship is always one of the first things that come to mind. I say without any exaggeration whatsoever that he is one of the best people I know. Though we may not always agree or see eye-to-eye on everything, I've never for one moment doubted his genuinely good intentions. His integrity and character are, imho, beyond reproach. I can think of no words that can adequately describe how good and how large this man's heart is (sometimes too large for his own good lol). And I consider it to be a genuine privilege to have had him in my life. I've never really felt worthy of his friendship, but I will truly be forever grateful for it.
It makes my heart swell to see that so many people have given him the love and support that he so richly deserves. And I want to thank every single person here who's ever given him so much as a kind word. Thank all of you. And thank you, Darrin. For everything. I love you, brother.
I honestly forgot you didn't know. lol. I just assume you have telepathy half the time. Regardless, the journey is long and well documented. Episodes 1-15, Brittany is uploading all the vlogging we did in real time, maybe a month behind or so. After 15, she became too sick to upload. BUT, we never stopped filming. Everything from 15 forward, I uploaded. When she came back from organ failure at 80, I caught the downright miraculous transition on camera in the proceeding episodes. 81 and 82 she her organs come back online and essentially stumped the doctors - medical mystery style. She just... came back. You can call it what you want, but... the real healing was what happened directly following her 180 deathbed turnaround. Her entire estranged family was reunited. I suddenly had another group of people that I never expected to meet. Reconciliation happened. Healing within her family was real. I have a father-in-law now. He comes in on one of the episodes too to just chat and talk about his day with her. Really wild stuff. The next few episodes, I captured my thought and feelings and words as she was passing away. It's gonna be rough. But... I don't show anything terrible.
Your faith and hers is a beautiful thing to see! We will all die someday but not all of us will get to glorify God in the process!
May the Lord Jesus heal you and fill you with His Perfect Peace🙏💪🕊💕⚘
What a special video! The dogs getting their gifts! So cute! Loved seeing her write on the wall! That is such an amazing tribute to y'all's journey!
Thanks, Ava! I'm not sure what's going to happen as I go forward into the next Christmas season. I'll definitely have to keep that tradition up. I'll definitely catch it and upload it for you guys! 😊
@@Beyond_Cancer be sure you make photos of it all! I painted on a wall for a granddaughter before she was born, and they had to leave it when they moved. They didn't think to take pictures of it!
I absolutely love the writing on the wall. What a great tribute to God. It is such a thoughtful way to remind us all of Gods love for us. I see his blessings regularly. Rest easy Darrin, you have done great things 🙏🏻
Thanks Jennifer. I dunno about great things, but God can do with these things what He wants. I'm just trying to be a willing servant.
I am in awe!! Wow, the wall writings are absolutely beautiful!! Such a wonderful thing to do for Brittney and for yourself. Thank you for sharing with us. I know that you had said recently, that the videos that you and Brittney had recorded are almost done now, but I hope that you will still make a video every once in awhile, just to let us know how you are doing ( and the dogs too). I will continue to pray for you. I wish you peace, comfort and happiness Darrin🙏🏻💛
thank you, Cindi! I will continue to video. I'm like 90% sure of it now.
I’m so sorry to see the look of grief on your face. It seems as you go about telling us of the writing on the walls…you are reflecting on every event, God moment, blessing, and promises that you and Brittany experienced together. Grief sucks, and sometimes it takes a long time for it to melt away. I pray for your peace of mind, body, and spirit! It has truly been a blessing to watch the story of your lives, so to speak. You let us peek behind the curtain, to witness the good, the bad, and the ugly…..but behind the scenes no matter what, God was there! Know you always will have a social media support group/extended family so to speak! Thank you my friend, for your time, your words, and sharing your beautiful wife with us! Hugs and prayer for peace to you, now and always!!!
Thank you, Tiffany! I really appreciate all the love and support. It's been a wild ride, and I'm grateful for everyone coming alongside me! God is good. And there's not enough praise in the world for everything He does for us!
God bless you I hope god gives u the strength to get thru the loss of your life!
Thank you, Stephanie! He has. And He continues to do so!
Wow. That is absolutely amazing. Thanks for sharing this with us. The writing just gave me chills. What an amazing gift left of her beautiful life.
Yeah. I agree, Kristi! It is quite the gift!
I just found your videos and i am watching them all. Your wife had such a positive outlook on everything. Im so happy that you are letting us watch the journey you both went through. If i may ask, how old was she when she passed? ❤🙏
Hey All About Crime! Thanks for the question - but first, if you'll indulge me - the template: Not sure if you've been with us for awhile or not, so lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022.
The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives.
Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
Okay, now that that's out the way, allow me to address your question. Brittany passed at 23. Her birthday was April 6th, so she was a few months away from 24.
Now, to address the other question which you may or may not have implied or have been too kinda to ask (lol) - there's a 16 year age gap between us. We had a weird story, and I address how we started dating early on around episode 25ish? Which explains why on earth someone like her would want to date and marry someone like me, and vice versa. lol. I'm not trying to offend, and I'm not offended by the question - (if that was what you were asking at all!) Regardless, our early journey contained a bit of that too. Some of it was caught on camera, but by that point, almost everyone was concerned more about the cancer than our age gap. But, hey, it is what it is. lol.
@@Beyond_Cancer thank you so much for the reply. I hope I didn't offend you. I was only asking her age because I knew she was somewhat young and it saddens me when I see people so young get diagnosed with cancer. The age gap between you both was not even on my mind. My parents were 13 years apart. Age doesn't mean anything, unless of course it's a minor. I started watching a few videos back but I am of course going back and watching the older ones too. One of the first videos that came up for me was the ones where God performed a miracle on Brittany. That was so beautiful to see. I'm so inspired by the love you both had for each other and for the hope that Brittany displayed throughout her journey. I know I have watched some of the videos out of order but I will be watching them all. God bless you for letting us in on you and Brittany's journey. This must be so healing for you.🙏❤️
No offense at all! I usually make a much bigger deal about it than I need to. haha. Brittany always told me "no one cares, Darrin." But, I still did. Still do, I guess. I'm happy you're following along and I'm glad that with us!
@@Beyond_Canceryou can tell how much you both loved each other. Thank you and I really hope that you are healing and taking care of yourself.🙏❤️
I so love the idea with writings on the wall. Some people believe that it would be too hard to look at those writings and pictures. It's hard, but when my Mom died I kept her pictures all around. People told me I was making it harder on myself, but it gave me peace. I did cry a lot, but it needs to come out. Darrin I hope it brings you peace and keeps you close to Brittany. Don't ever change. God knew you would love and take care of her. God Bless. 🙏💕🙏
Thanks Darlene! And I relate! I keep a some pictures and the Provisions around. I'm sure I'll slowly move them around as time goes on. For now, they're comforting and helpful.
Just found your channel came up in my feed...the 4:20 timemark of this video....as I am bow age 65 and a widow twice, both died of long battle of heart failure...I can easily say, I can so relate....its been 10 years since the last has passed and I am still healing....please take your time to heal, dont fall back in love for years....trust me...till you know for sure that you are ready
Thank you, Diana's Dreams. I will certainly take my time and heal. I know the road will be long and tough, but God's got me. He'll get me through. He always has. Since you're new, lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022.
The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives.
Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
You have an awesome testimony! Aren't we blessed to know we will see our loved ones again one day. Very soon I hope!
Amen, 1955! Amen!
Puppies
Puppies
Everywhere
Thanks Brittany for being so kind
Rest in Peace
She loved her pups! haha.
Beautiful couple she’s watching over you all her babies too 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🥰🥰🥰🥰🦋🦋🦋🦋
Absolutely, Jackie!
Oh I love the “crazy” writing on the wall!!! It’s wonderful simply wonderful.
Thanks, Madgrace! It does "fit" my home, a bit. I'm a bit nutty myself. lol. But, I will be erasing it eventually. Not now, not soon... but eventually. I just don;'t know when.
A beautiful testimony to Brittany's faith, and of course your faith as well, Darrin. I'm Christian too, and the message that comes out of watching videos such as this one is very encouraging - that God is always with us, no matter what the circumstances. God indeed works in mysterious ways, and it sounded like He knew exactly what you both needed, so He provided as a good father does. God was also an important part of your marriage too which was great to see but is sadly rare these days. Brittany is no longer suffering and she's with her Father in heaven now. Obviously God wanted her back home with Him. So wonderful to see faith at work in your daily lives. You were indeed blessed to have Brittany as your wife. 🙏📿
Thank you, Carmel! You're absolutely right! I often have to remind myself of this little phrasing: "She was His, long before she was mine. And He's a much better provider than I can ever be. So, when He calls her home, what right do I have to keep her here, away from the better man." something along those lines. I appreciate you coming along with us for the journey!
You were a loving and caring husband and took good care of her to the end she was so young to have to leave but the only thing we can say is she is not suffering no more she is made whole again in Heaven. God be with you and cradle you in his arms as you go through this grief.
Thank you, Sonja! She is indeed with the father in heaven. That much is for sure! And she's healed entirely!
Thank you for sharing with us. The wall is beautiful and sad at the same time ❤
Thank you, Kyong! It's still a nice reminder of her and God's influence in the story. I will wind up erasing it one day, but I'll never forget it.
Words matter and are so important. I love the wall idea. Looking at that imagery must've been such a comfort to her.
I think so, Debra. I really do.
Such a beautiful soul!
She really was, Susan! For sure!
What a beautiful idea the writing on the wall. Heartbreaking but precious seeing Brittany writing as well ❤. Your love for Brittany and your faith together shine through.
Thank you, Karen. I think it brought her a lot of joy in that moment, getting to stand and write, what she was writing about and just taking part in what we were doing. She was couch-bound so much of the time.
Heartbreakingly beautiful.
Thank you!
oh my goodness i have tears flowing watching you all on ur last christmas together omg i’m so sad now . i’m not ready for the last of her videos . 😢i can honestly speak for everyone on here we all have grown to love Brittany and not ready to let her go ! Darrin i still keep you in my prayers my heart breaks for you !
Thank you, AJ. I not ready for these videos to end either.
This is a very emotional video. My heart is actually pounding.
Watching Britney writing on the wall and then seeing the room filled with words. I could feel the loss, and your grief. I only feel the loss in real life, not videos. If that makes sense. I am no stranger to loss or grief.
You were both blessed with caring friends who looked after you and Brittany. It just shows what special people you are. The doggie Christmas was heartwarming. ❤️
Thank you, Donna. I'm here for you as well. We'll all get through this!
❤😢😮😮😢❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤oooooh I'm in tears..... I'm quite new to this channel and never realized she passed away. Sooo sad, you guys had a love that was so great, so close, so gentle. She never should have died, we're here on earth to give and share love, and that is what you both did.
I'm glad you are sharing it through your channel, it awakes the love we all have and have forgotten to cultivate in our super busy lives
Thank you, Binebum. I tried. I always tried to keep our vows in mind - Love her as Christ loved the church. Christ died for us. So, I chose to sacrifice every little thing I could reasonably do for her love and comfort. I couldn't take the cancer from her - I gladly would - but I did everything I could to make sure we had a beautiful marriage and lead her always back to Christ. It was the least I could do.
@@Beyond_Cancer thank you for taking the time to reply,and thank you for what you did and try to do. Don't forget,you inspire and reawaken that inothers, through your channel. Although I'm sure, sometimes that is small comfort, for the grief and loss your going through. I lost my partner 2 1/2 years ago, to cancer. Strangely enough, I have decided not to move on, but leave time and priority for reflection,and to honor the love we had, the moments, the things we built together. It is a lonely life, people say I'm stuck in the past. But the past and present are really one, the past gives depth to the present moment, like the growth rings give majesty to a large tree.
Keep well my friend, I hope you still have your three beautiful dogs to take care of🥰
I'm so sorry, Binebum! I'm praying right now for your peace and comfort. May he give you strength to hold the vigil as long as you would like. And, may that time be filled with memories and peace.
@@Beyond_Cancer thank you!
That was such a beautiful way to celebrate way to celebrate life being surrounded by positivity, prayers and most of all your love and strength. ❤❤❤
Thank you, Joellen!
This video is most definitely filled with that once in a lifetime love, so beautiful to see it,Take care hun and God Bless xx
Thank you, Mumzee! We really tried to be marriage centric - focusing on keeping our marriage together with God between us, in everything we did.
I love your beautiful pups. I have four myself. My guys would take from each other's boxes and fight over them! I imagine these babies comfort you so much in her absence. My colitis has brought us a lot of heartache and fear, and I turn to our great Lord for protection and relief and He fights the devil alongside us. Prayers for you, you wonderful disciple!
Thank you, Libranpoet! So much. The doggos do bring me comfort in her absence for sure. But, I had to give Butter back to Brittany's grandmother. He didn't like Brittany missing, and was fighting Milo all the time. But, the pack is thriving now.
her precious voice...how sweet it is! ❤
I agree, Shugger! I miss her voice. The doggos do too. Every time I upload a vid with her in it, and she says Milo's name, he comes running to the computer. It's so sad, but he loved her too! Anyway, Hi! I'm not sure if you've been with us for awhile or not, so lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022.
The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives.
Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
She was so blessed to have you Sir as you were to have her❤❤❤
Thank you. I was definitely more blessed to have her, than she was blessed to have me! For sure.
Cause your good people and our lord has been with you 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thank you, Jackie! I tried my hardest to do right by her.
I pray for your strength my friend 🙏❤
Thank you, ASIF! I need it! For sure!
Hang in my brother please ❤
How sweet ❤ prayers 🙏 ❤️
Thank you so much, Karen!
Hi Darrin I’m so sorry 😭 but I’m so happy you have your little cuddle babies to help you through. Many prayers from Florida 🙏🙏😭😭
Thank you Cindy!!! It's always the Milo show in this house. Seriously, that sound you heard in the last episode, I had to cut a segment of me yelling at him for "chewing" on a giant rock from the backyard. I don't know how this dog is still alive!
Oh Darrin, that's just beautiful. As you showed the lists, I was hoping you'd have kept it. So glad you did. It must be tricky not to smear it. What kind of marker?
Thank you! It's just an Expo dry erase marker. Not so dry erase when its on paint. lol. It doesn't smear at all!
@@Beyond_Cancer That's great, I'm so happy to hear it!
Beautiful, praying for you.
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So beautiful ❤️ this brings so much more meaning to the Quote "the writing on the wall". When my sister in law passed from multiple myeloma we had bracelets made with her handwriting from a card. It was so beautiful. ❤many prayers for healing n gentle hugs 🙏
Hey Melanie! I appreciate those prayers! I can use them! And, I'm so sorry about your sister. How long ago was it? Do you still have the bracelets?
@@Beyond_Cancer she passed away about 6 years ago, I do have the bracelet ❤️
Thats awesome! And I'm so sorry for your loss!!
Your love for each other was so inspirational, Love never dies on this side or the other,, Keep talking to her she's listening.
Thank you, John! I wouldn't call our love for each other special or anything, but we did a lot of work to make sure we were as close as we were. A lot of work and a lot of prayer! Not sure if you've been with us for awhile or not, so lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022.
The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives.
Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
Beautiful!!
Thank you, Tawny!
What a great idea to write history on your walls. It must be such a comfort to you these difficult days. Thanks for sharing your journey with us, it helps when we are struggling in a similar situation.
Thank you, Jeff! I'm glad to share!
I’m so glad you had such wonderful friends to help you get through this difficult time. I can see why you two were so in love. You’ll see her again, I’m sure. God bless you and comfort you.
Thank you, Suemoo! I know I'll see her again! And the support I had was amazing. I'll never be able to forget what others did for me.
Bless your beautiful hearts ❤ this is so very beautiful and precious, and heartbreaking at the same time. Aww that made me cry when you were both giving both your beautiful three furbabies their Christmas gifts ❤❤❤ incredible video. I'm sending you so much love and prayers always ❤️ 🙏 xxx
Thank you, Hollie! It's definitely a tradition I'm going to keep!
I hope you have a great support system. What a tough eight months you’ve endured. Glad you have the doggies. I’m sure they miss her too! 😢🐶🙏🏻
They do, Nancy. They do. When I'm editing videos, they react to her voice, especially when she calls Milo's name. It's so sweet!
@@Beyond_Cancer 😢🙏🏻
I have watched each video but not commented. Her physical health didn’t diminish her utter grace and love for you. I hate that you’re in pain D (if I may still call you that) and wish I could hug you. -lil Sis
I love the writings on the wall! What a special thing for you both to have ❤
Thank you! I tried my best to make sure she was surrounded by God and the ways He showed up and showed out for us throughout our journey!
Britney's husband was very supportive and sweet!🙏
Calliopi, I certainly tried! Throughout this journey, I tried to keep my mind on my vows - I was to love her as Christ loved the Church. And He loved us so much that He died for us. So, since I couldn't actively "take" the tumor from her, I made sure that I sacrificed in every way possible to make sure she knew how much she was loved and bring her as much comfort and peace as humanly possible. I wasn't perfect, but I think I did okay. Additionally, I'm not sure if you've been with us for awhile or not, so lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022.
The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives.
Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
Thank you for sharing with us! Please continue to vlog so we know how you are!
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God bless and comfort you.
hey JustMarla! Not sure if you've been with us for awhile or not, so lemme give you the "template" - I post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022.
The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives.
Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
You're doing great, it's perfectly normal for people to tear up talking about their loved ones even many years adter they passed away.
Got a bit dizzy watching the background rotating and jumping all the time... ;-)
Thanks A! I tried to keep the movement to a minimum. It's especially bad in episode 80, 81 and 82. But, anytime I'm moving, I try and keep the camera fairly steady.
New subscriber 👍👍👍👍❤❤❤❤❤
Heeeey! Since you're new around these parts, lemme give you the "template" - I try and post this to all newcomers. If you've seen this before, or if you've been here awhile, and I just don't recognize you, please ignore this: This is Darrin, (Brittany's husband) She passed this January this year (2023) from Kidney Cancer. We filmed a lot of videos and Brittany wanted to upload them, and she was able to do so for awhile. But as she got sicker, she wasn't able to post them anymore. By the time she passed away, we were a year and some change behind in videos. So now, it's on me. I'm posting everything we filmed. And there's a lot! And I've got more to go, too! You'll notice on every video I list the date, including the year that the film was taken to help avoid confusion! The one you watched was from 12/20/2022.
The story is wild. God shows up in big ways (sneak back to episode 22.5 if you want to hear why I think you should keep watching despite the fact that she's gone) and God shocks EVERYONE in our lives.
Brittany wanted to touch lives, and she felt called to do these videos, and would often say if she could touch just 1 life, then it would have all been worth it. I hope you continue watching along with us for the journey! We do, get a miracle... a HUGE one. (Episode 80 and forward) It just wasn't quite what we expected. You've messaged me riiiiight at the point in the story where we see God move in some amazing ways! I hope you continue watching!
Sweet
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Love furbabies
Same here, Denise!
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Im different in my belief about the wall, I would think it would be very detrimental to your mental health..I don't believe you can heal emotionally when you are confronted every moment of the day with these feelings, you'll always have those memories in your mind and heart, I just don't see how being forced to relive it everyday could be helpful for healing and moving forward.. hopefully one day you will be ready to put it behind you in order to look for a future without all those painful memories and instead of crying when you think of her, you smile ..but i dont see that happening when you are confronted with your walls every waking day..jmo ..
Yes totally agree with you. I wouldn't like to see that each day. How sad poor Darrin. 😢
I look at it as a way to stay grateful by counting blessings. When we have to say an early goodbye to someone we love so much, we want to remember all the good things. We are all different and we need different things to cope with life on earth without someone so important in our lives. They are both believers so they will be together again. My brother and daughter are both in Heaven. I think of them as more alive than I am, just living in a different part of the universe. The tough parts do not affect me as much as they would if I thought of them as gone. Do you see what I mean?
He needs to erase all that eventually move on find someone new and have children. Your young a lot of life left actually u should move out find another house start fresh again. Life is not over u get another shot with new person eventually. Don't sulk in misery forever. Let go or u will never move forward.
Hey guys! You all have a point. The words on the wall have been both. A source of comfort and a source of torment. I've decided a long time ago that I will remove the writing. Just not yet. Not sure when - just when I'm ready. I had to at least do a video on them... which I have. I will move on, eventually as well. I know she would want me to. But, I can take my time. lol
@@Beyond_Cancer I don't pretend to know what's best , I just know that my heart hurts for you and i wish we could help you find your smile and contagious laugh again..
Dogs miss her too😢😢
mhm. Very true.
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*_*i love boxed fans, we have five.personal, but was it the size of tumor_*_ that resulted in her death, or md andersan turning their backs on her?_*
Hey Lisa! Great question! It would be easy for me to say, MDA did it. But, as time has gone on and as the cloud of grief has lifted a bit, I'm now in the - it was just the cancer - camp. Lemme explain. Recently, I looked up her tumor type and survival rates. Most cancers are presented as a percentage of patients who are still alive past the 5 year mark after being diagnosed. It's a good and balanced metric when describing cancers. The percentage is simply the average of patients still alive at that point. But Brittany's cancer is not categorized that way. It's so aggressive, it's just listed in average number of months the patient lives for. And that number is 18. Brittany fought her cancer for exactly 18 months, before passing. The certain that the docs abandoning her at stage they did had very VERY little to do with her death.
Keep recording your own journey. You are still left with processing your grief.
I will. For sure!
GRIEF NEVER ENDS BUT IT CHANGES. ITS A PASSAGE… NOT A PLACE TO STAY🙏🏻GRIEF IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS NOR A LACK OF FAITH. IT IS THE PRICE OF LOVE🙏🏻💙💖💘🎈🍁❤️🩹🥰👏🏻❣️🫶🏻❤️💗🍂
Agreed, Cindy!
I’m confused.. it says 12/23….isn’t that in the future
Sorry! i meant 2022! I just changed it. Thank you!!!
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What was the age gap between you and your wife?
Margosia, great question! I cover this a bit in episode 25ish, I think? We had a 16 year age gap between us. It was not what I expected or what she expected. She was 19 when I met her. She was so business-casual and so mature, I (and EVERYONE around me) thought she was mid 20s. I was immature and goofy, she though I was mid to late 20s. I talk about how we connected in that episode, so I won't rehash it here. BUT, with a little nudging of the Holy Spirit, we decided we were getting married before we even went on our first date... or knew what each others ages were. At that point, we had a choice to make - give up what we had because of how we would be seen... or just trust what we felt we were being called to do. We decided to just push through and trust that our instincts were right. Best choice we ever made.
@@Beyond_Cancer Thank you for your reply :).
I asked this question because just was curious. You were great and beautiful couple and some day you will meet again.
I wish you all the best !!!
Not everyone has luck to meet someone special in you entire life.
Who said you had to stop? Maybe you should keep adding to the wall for awhile. Just a thought. Brit's body died. Your love didn't, and neither did your journey.
Janelle, You're right. But, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just couldn't. And I still can't. eventually, I'll wind up erasing it, but for now... it stays. A reminder, not only to her while she was here, but to me as well, that she's with the Father in heaven.
If God loved her so much, why did he give her cancer and cause her so much suffering?Please accept that good people get sick and you need not cling on to make belive to comfort you
God doesn't give us diseases. Our bodies are imperfect and as such, we are prone to get sick. God doesn't punish us, make us sick, he doesn't "need another angel". We inherited death from Adam and Eve, and eventually, we all end up dying. It's sad that Brittany died so early. Everyone has their own way in grieving. Darin is doing it his way and what works for him.
Thanks, 132allie. Ladyalexm, part of our journey (the earlier episodes) you see us struggling with this concept. And ultimately, as faithful believers, we turned to the source of Truth for answers. And, contrary to popularism, there's a LOT there about the suffering servant. We don't have a savior who's distant. We have one that came to earth as a man. Lived as man lives, but did so perfectly. Experienced joys and devastation as a man. And ultimately, died as a man for a sacrifice for our sins. He rose again, fully man, fully deity. We worship a God that does not always spare us from pain and suffering, but will be with us while we are suffering. weep with us as we weep. Wrap us in his arms when we have nothing left to give. And ultimately die for us. Even the Father did not spare His son.
God didn't give my wife cancer. Cancer grew within her, and our lives were already devoted to Him. How we walked this story out was how we chose to walk our journey with Him.
I hope you would continue to watch. Some truly amazing things happened - episode 80 onward, my wife comes back from organ failure and downright stumps doctors. And I caught it on film.