So true. Something that our parents like, but that something is what we hate to do. It is a successful job but i have to do it because it is what my parents want, but i don't have to worry about money. Like. Seriously. So now i am not even married coz i hate my pretentious life.
Reminds me the Fight Club scene: "Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need, and the things you own, end up owning you."
Ngl, I got a little scared b/c it looked like he stuck a big magnet on the side of a desktop CPU tower and I'm like NOOOOO! THE COMPUTER! Thankfully there must be context I didn't know b/c the magnet didn't appear to erase the hard drive or mess up anything. Guess they make 'em stronger than they used to. But not stronger than Steven's dad going to school.
Steven gives great message about mental wellness. Steven's dad: When I went to school, mental health hadn't been invented yet. We didn't get stressed because we had to fight 2 lions on way to school and teach ourselves calculus from back of milk carton. When I was 9 I had 25 years work experience and my left foot was starting a business.
You must shave your record in half. Eight hours becomes four. Four becomes two. Two becomes one. One becomes an entire half hour. Then you can be closer to only a slight failure. No way I’m doing that tho.
Steven's Dad : "You need 20 hours of study" Steven : "That's not enough time to sleep" Steven's Dad : "Then sleep faster !" Life Speedrunners : _"Sir, you're a genius..."_
When i was being homeschooled mom made me study 16 hours a day for the first half of the school year. No breaks, just meals, the occasional bathroom break, and sleep
No joke, the moment I turned 22, my parents, who always strictly told me to NEVER date, asked me if I was gay since I didn't have a girlfriend. And not in a 'we'll support you regardless' manner.
"Thomas even had a girlfriend once" "Who's Thomas" "Exactly" This part got me laughing so hard my parents walked in my room then asked "What are you laughing at?"
I always felt bad for my asian friends growing up when they would tell me these stories. We would laugh about it together, but at the same time their parents were kinda nuts 🤣
@@BeargoBrrrr Okay, you are 9yo max, we get it. Sorry to tell you, but Santa isn't real, there isn't a god, or at least, your god isn't real and you are not going to be special, but are just going to be another nobody. One love ❤️
This is true. I have an aunt who always gets on my cousin's case about getting married, but every time she talks about dating, my aunt goes into extreme mama bear mode.
“Thomas even had a girlfriend once” Me and Steven: “Who’s Thomas?” “Exactly.” LMAO this is excellent writing. Another absolute masterpiece!! Steven, this is sooo good! Thanks for your continued hard work creating top tier entertainment for your audience!
My band teacher has three core rules for his class. One is “no dating until you’re thirty”, and one is “no dating in the band room”. Asian Dad is being too generous here.
The second one is a good rule. As a theater kid, couples backstage was awful. Nothing clears a room like a couple straddling each other and making out. We dimmed the light so the audience couldn’t see it on stage-not so you could set the mood :/
Apparently your mum wants you to be a meek virgin who can't talk to girls because of a hyper study focus lifestyle and suddenly be a chad without practice when she wants grandchildren. Luckily when you look like me relatives don't wonder why your still single, they know.
Stephen: "It's not enough to sleep!" Stephen's dad: "Then sleep faster, eh?" Also Stephen's dad: "Life is about doing things you hate to make money, ...... then using that money to flex on Instagram." Damn those got me laughing, very good lines Stephen, keep it up!
I think thats a adaptation or whatever its called of his true story. Him going a burger place and then his parent thinking he is talking about a girl because the words sounds the same
when you got off work at 11 pm and just wanted to chill for a bit before going to bed, and then that line hit, so you paused the video while pondering on your life
My wifi cut out 8 seconds into the video, and I watched Steven staring off blankly for a solid 2 minutes before I realized something was up. I was dying of laughter the whole time, thinking “this is the laziest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, but somehow the funniest as well” 😂
Oh my god, my mother actually did that ending to me. When she came to my college graduation, she asked me why I had no boyfriend prepared and what was wrong with me 😂😭
@@Kattywagon29 Alot of people do that, they fall asleep as soon as they put their heads on the pillow, some within 3 minutes, if only i could do the same. To sleep whenever i want. Imagine such power.
@@stephenjohn2131 Some people want their super power to be invisibility. I want to be able to get exactly how much quality sleep that I want, whenever I want, under any circumstances.
As someone who just got out of a long relationship last week when he said “why would you want to have feelings. You know what’s better than feelings? A job” that just hit different haha
Congratulations on 5 million subscribers Steven, you definitely deserve it. I also have a video suggestion: Steven’s grandfather comes in as a guest for failure management as his methods were used before physics was invented
Steven's Dad's Dad; is he going to tell Steven's Dad that he is a failure for raising a failure when SDD's son became the face of Beijing Corn. SDD then goes on to train Steven in high level acting, Steven gets an Oscar, then becomes EGOT. Finally, Steven is the face of Galaxy Corn. All in 5min.
@@drekky23 They are just spam/phishing bots, Don't click the links. The one that looks like its from Steven has that black v next to his name. Its a fake account made to look almost identical to the TH-camrs account so ppl will click it.
“Dating before College is how you fail school” Well, he’s not wrong. Everyone I know who dropped out or failed classes focused more on dating then school so… Wise Words by Steven’s Dad
This video unironicy has lots and lots of life lessons hidden as jokes. I know the dad is kinda just used for 1 line jokes but he isn't wrong most of the time. The line about a job you hate for money is what really caught my attention about these life lessons well played.
I remember during high school. My aunt said "Dating will lead to failure." Me who still is single and reaching 30. And my aunt is like "Aiyaaa why you still single?. Failure!"
My parents asserted this point almost verbatim, haiyaa.😱😂 I still wonder how and why some folks date before or during college and do relatively well. Here I am now, a recent pharmacy graduate aiming to pass board exams and secure a full-time job. All I can do is wait, watch, and seek until the right woman comes along.
The Wendy's thing reminded me of how when a university friend of mine moved to Canada he "kept wondering who the hell is this Timmy that keeps getting mentioned and why do all the girls keep wanting to go to this bastard's house". And then he found out that "Timmy's" is slang for a nationally popular coffee & donut franchise. 🤣
I’m graduating HS this year and I’m legit mentally preparing myself for the emotional damage of “why you not married yet in 4 years”. I know because it’s already happened to some of my cousins in their mid 20s.
I was with this guy since he was at 30K subs a couple years ago, I knew he was going to be famous because he had a talent I had never seen in any TH-camr before. I left TH-cam and came back now to check on him and he's at 5M, couldn't be more proud. Keep it up Steven ❤️
Aaah as an Indian.. I heard these words from my mum constantly.. However I do agree there is some merit in waiting till after college to get a serious relationship.. Relationships can really make or break your future.. Realization hits: Shit... I turned into my mum
I legit thought Steven's Dad was going to go out to spy on Steven and just see him go to a Wendy's restaurant and then leave but find Steven meeting a girl and it just cuts before Steven's Dad grabs the slipper to hit Steven. I was not expecting Steven's Dad to stay home and make a lot of links such as the magnets, which was really good
I will be honest...dating in college...if it is the wrong person...yep, definitely a good way to fail college. thankfully I've picked myself up and am doing much more excellent in university 😊
My mother told me all through primary school and high school that I had to prioritise studying at all times. There will be plenty of time to make friends as an adult. Same for dating. There would be plenty of time to find a partner when I was an adult. Now I am an adult, with awful social anxiety, which is my fault apparently. I struggle hugely to make friends in person, and the close online friends I do have "don't count". My parents pressured me for years after I graduated high school to find a partner so they can get grandchildren (despite them knowing I am asexual), and now that I am in a relationship my family constantly tells me to break up with my girlfriend because she isn't good enough for them. There is zero winning. The worst thing is that my brother was allowed to do whatever he wanted. Blow off studying for friends? Yep. Get bad grades? Yep. Date? Yep. Drop out of uni? Yep. Very sucky.
Dude I'm so sorry that your family did that to you. Unsolicited two cents from an internet stranger time: it kinda sounds like you need to cut off your toxic family? It's probably not going to get better if you don't draw a hard line. They can't just keep treating you like this--you absolutely deserve better. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck--these are hard situations to navigate--and hope that you and your real support system always remember your true value and that you are worthy of respect, including honoring who you are and the choices you make!
Look up "golden child", "scapegoat child" and "narcissistic parents". Hopefully you won't recognize the dynamic but if you do then finding others who experienced similar things will be very useful. Either way, I am so sorry. I hope you still are with your girlfriend and haven't listened to your parents.
I totally feel you. Went through the same type of experience and I was very screwed up. One time when we were visiting my aunt's, they told them that my younger brother worked in the steel mill I worked in. I was so mad and later on, asked my mom why she would make it seem like it was my brother that got my high waged union job and not me. She told me that being a female, they would think I was a slut. I worked in the office and not on the dock. Omg!! Right? I have my own personal therapist that I go to for 30 years now. 😂❤
3:21 As a Chinese female, I wrote 宝宝 to my 闺蜜 once and my mom saw it while scrolling through my phone. And guess what happens, no did not pull out her slipper. But instead pulled out a thin stick out of nowhere and slapped me on the leg. ( A thing that Fuzhou parents do 👍🏻 )
"You know what's better than feelings? A job."
I felt that on a spiritual level
same, time to get 3 jobs
He's totally correct 🤣🤣🤣
Hee is sooooo f**** right =)
Felt that dayum
why have babes when you can have mansion and a tesla.
"You're so useless you make Sakura look like Amazon Prime"
Talk no Jutsu: *Emotional Damage*
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE*
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
Watashi omae wa fastu kirai
Yorokobe
HA Emotional Damage no jutsu
This guy,
"Thats not enough to sleep"
"Sleep faster"
Wise words from Steven's dad.
batman only needs 2 hours
Then sleep faster, da?
So would u tell me how to sleep faster.....I am busy person
@@see_elsewhere yeah that's the point he is BATMAN
I'm surprised though that Steven's dad didn't tell him to study 25 hours or more.
“Thomas had a girlfriend once.”
“Who’s Thomas? “
“Exactly!”
Makes me die every time
Wait, but he became a famous tank engine, didn't he?
@@siyzerix Exactly
Why you fail dying eeevery time?
this is, very literally, what Asian parents say...
Exactly!
the social anxiety will last throughout adulthood, _very effective._
I read this in Stevens Voice😂👏
It sure does
VERY
I have it.
Extra emotional damage
“You don’t need straight pants you need straight A’s” wise words from Steven’s dad
@Stеvеn Не Shorts 🅥 stop
words to live by
@@StevenHe yep
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@StevenHe damage
"Life is about doing things you hate to make money"
This is the most disturbingly, depressingly accurate line.....EVER.
"Just to flex your stuff on Instagram" was what followed up which made it even worse
So true. Something that our parents like, but that something is what we hate to do. It is a successful job but i have to do it because it is what my parents want, but i don't have to worry about money. Like. Seriously. So now i am not even married coz i hate my pretentious life.
Reminds me the Fight Club scene: "Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need, and the things you own, end up owning you."
The "for someone else" is missing at the end.
so you mean Steven hates being a youtuber? ....or is it just his parents thing ?
"Magnet... Who you tryna attract!?" Best line 💀👌
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣he’s genius
Ngl, I got a little scared b/c it looked like he stuck a big magnet on the side of a desktop CPU tower and I'm like NOOOOO! THE COMPUTER! Thankfully there must be context I didn't know b/c the magnet didn't appear to erase the hard drive or mess up anything.
Guess they make 'em stronger than they used to.
But not stronger than Steven's dad going to school.
@@spoonimefan some audio component is magnetic, try sticking a fork all over a laptop it will attract somewhere
I expected that
i saw that one coming 😂😂😂
Steven gives great message about mental wellness.
Steven's dad: When I went to school, mental health hadn't been invented yet. We didn't get stressed because we had to fight 2 lions on way to school and teach ourselves calculus from back of milk carton. When I was 9 I had 25 years work experience and my left foot was starting a business.
best comment lmfao
don't forget the tyrannosaurus Rex with nunchucks, wait that was the neighbor, his T -Rex didn't have nunchucks😅
@@rzcrete2470 no you were right. Stevens dad fought t-rex w/ nunchucks. The neighbor said "you're t-rex had nunchucks?".
He had to walk uphill both ways in snow climbing a mountain with one foot the other was starting a business 🤣
Now the same two lions are doing his taxes
bro said sleep faster oh hell nahhhhh 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣
YESSSS
HAHA
You must shave your record in half. Eight hours becomes four. Four becomes two. Two becomes one. One becomes an entire half hour. Then you can be closer to only a slight failure. No way I’m doing that tho.
@Stеvеn Не 🅥 *DONT CLICK THIS!!*
@@StevenHewhen yr Outtake is more hilarious than yr sketch sometidos idk if ur dying from laughter or u just beinga goofball
Steven's Dad : "You need 20 hours of study"
Steven : "That's not enough time to sleep"
Steven's Dad : "Then sleep faster !"
Life Speedrunners : _"Sir, you're a genius..."_
When i was being homeschooled mom made me study 16 hours a day for the first half of the school year. No breaks, just meals, the occasional bathroom break, and sleep
Nothing that hasn’t been said before
"Sleep faster " is now my motto and advice to my teenager.
@@spencervance8484 ooooooooooooooooooooooooofff
@@s.bgaming6134 ooff indeed
“The entire future of family names is on your shoulder at 14” 😢 Cannot believe you have said exact same words my dad told me EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!!!😂❤
😂😂😂😂😂😂
No joke, the moment I turned 22, my parents, who always strictly told me to NEVER date, asked me if I was gay since I didn't have a girlfriend. And not in a 'we'll support you regardless' manner.
Same bruh :)
Bro! I finally dated at 22 then my family drove us apart. They wonder why I haven't dated since then.
@@generalrendar7290 rip
@@generalrendar7290 oof :(
hi im 16, cant relate yet
edit, i am failing school tho
"You know whats better than feelings."
"A Job"
No No, he has a point there
fINalLY it's herE
Fuck off bots
"Thomas even had a girlfriend once"
"Who's Thomas"
"Exactly"
This part got me laughing so hard my parents walked in my room then asked "What are you laughing at?"
Omg same
except the parents walking into my room part
It still was funny tho the way he whipped around and said
B\/
*_"exactly"_*
"What are you laughing at?"
"Thomas"
"Who's Thomas?"
"Exactly"
:))
me too omg too funny
I first read that as “pants walked in”😂😂
@@Sango23 same
I always felt bad for my asian friends growing up when they would tell me these stories. We would laugh about it together, but at the same time their parents were kinda nuts 🤣
Fr. I got some too and they ALL say the same crap. Its pretty much a universal constant. Asian parents are legitimately the worst
@@meyeneetuks4680 asian parents are giga wtf you talkin bout 💀
@@derpisole no they're not i want to run away and never come back!! 😁
well established asian parents are not like these...still these are quite relatable in the culture.
Lmaoaoa I think that’s sorta how my closest friend thinks of my parents cuz pf how I described them😂
As an Asian, I can confirm that my parents will tell me to sleep faster when I don't get enough sleep.
Now I can sleep 8 hours every 60 minutes
+ while reviewing mathematics.
"Do you know whats better than feelings?!
A JOB!" words of wisdom by - stevens dad
@Stеvеn Не 🅥 th-cam.com/video/MrbTXYKh7oc/w-d-xo.html
"Then sleep faster."
"You so useless you make Sakura seems like Amazon Prime!"
This episode was filled to the brim with gold!
Arnold Schwarzenegger said sleep faster once for a speech or something like at idk. I saved you I'm you're 667 like you are welcome
@@BeargoBrrrr Okay, you are 9yo max, we get it. Sorry to tell you, but Santa isn't real, there isn't a god, or at least, your god isn't real and you are not going to be special, but are just going to be another nobody.
One love ❤️
College students: "Write that down! Write that down!"
@@boyankovachev7982 what the that's why you think I am 9 because I took Jesus as my lord and savior, disgrace full
... What the frick is happening in my replies?
"you're so useless, you make sakura look like amazon prime" killed me
does it means he makes sakura looks like a paid service/videos character or something like that?
That killed me too! That was so freaking funny.
@@realreuben126 It's about the usefulness. Amazon prime is really useful and sakura is not.
@@aminaradakov892 Thanks for explaining😃
It ain't funny at all... like... no...
"Thomas even had a girlfriend once"
"Who's Thomas?"
" *exactly* ."
This line had me dying 😂😂😂😂😂😂
The most underrated line ever😂😂
Less funny to those of us named Tom. Just sayin. He isn't wrong, but, that was at least 8 points in Emotional Damage.
My parents legit have pulled 1000IQ plays like this on me
😂😂😂😂
“You dont need straight pants! YOU NEED STRAIGHT A’S!!!” Kills me 😂
I wanna leave a like but it's at 666-
Yes!!! That line totally slays me also!😂😂😂
The voice crack tho-
I'm the 1000th like
Always iron your A's... that's how to get good grades ;)
"dating before college is how you fail school" Steven at this point isn't a comedian but a good motivator, he's spitting facts
and people wonder why the birth rate is spiraling down
fr
I didn't had a girlfriend and I topped my class.
He didn't have to write original material here. He just repeated the top ten bits of advice his parents gave him repeatedly.
facts indeed
This is true. I have an aunt who always gets on my cousin's case about getting married, but every time she talks about dating, my aunt goes into extreme mama bear mode.
“Thomas even had a girlfriend once”
Me and Steven: “Who’s Thomas?”
“Exactly.”
LMAO this is excellent writing. Another absolute masterpiece!! Steven, this is sooo good! Thanks for your continued hard work creating top tier entertainment for your audience!
My... my name is Thomas. :(
@@eviltom17 “Exactly.”
@@eviltom17 who are u?
Da hell u say
@@eviltom17 you’re not supposed to be here…
My band teacher has three core rules for his class. One is “no dating until you’re thirty”, and one is “no dating in the band room”. Asian Dad is being too generous here.
What’s the third
@@jacks8092 “no social media in the band room”
did he put a foil hat over the band room to block social media and internet from coming inside
Yep, don't date band girls (as a marching band dude I can relate)
The second one is a good rule. As a theater kid, couples backstage was awful. Nothing clears a room like a couple straddling each other and making out. We dimmed the light so the audience couldn’t see it on stage-not so you could set the mood :/
“No dating ‘til you’re married.”
“Why don’t you have girlfriend?”
“Girlfriend must be super genius athlete, from Harvard.”
All from my Korean mom.
Apparently your mum wants you to be a meek virgin who can't talk to girls because of a hyper study focus lifestyle and suddenly be a chad without practice when she wants grandchildren. Luckily when you look like me relatives don't wonder why your still single, they know.
Here's Thomas XD
@@andi_1485 LOL
We found Thomas, guys...
You should've listened to your mom, bro...
Oh my god that’s too real 😂 I don’t doubt for a second those are direct quotes
Steven he - Who's Thomas
Steven he dad - Exactly..
Got me dying to laughter on the floor
Stephen: "It's not enough to sleep!"
Stephen's dad: "Then sleep faster, eh?"
Also Stephen's dad: "Life is about doing things you hate to make money, ...... then using that money to flex on Instagram."
Damn those got me laughing, very good lines Stephen, keep it up!
"steven"
his name is Steven with 'V'
Day something of trying to get a shoutout from literally anyone cause I made an bebu la intro
@@chamith256 Oops, sorry. I'm british so we spell it different...
Yeah "sleep faster lah!" had me laughing in the street 😂
"Contact lenses, okay okay, who are you trying to see?" I am trying to see how Stephen he makes such incredible content and such amazing jokes.
ah! I see what you did there 😏
@Ba Ba ! no stop doing spam dude
@Guys look👇🅥 its finally here! A reason that this meme should die like the show
@Guys look👇🅥 Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Steven being the icon of how hard asian parents are and being sponsored by a mental health service is hillarious to me
EXACTLY.
A mental health company
The emotional damage guy.
Perfect sponsorship
@@StevenHe Failure management dad for sure cooperates with them.
@@StevenHe EmOtIoNaL dAmAgE
@@StevenHe Exactly!
*EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!*
@@StevenHe my guy made a second meaning to the phrase "failure management"
1:35 “You don’t need straight pants,YOU NEED STRAIGHT A’S!” -Stevens dad
The son: "Imma head out, um imma go to Wendy's."
The Dad: "K."
*Few Minutes Later*
The Dad: "Who the hell is Wendy?"
hit me hard as heck😂😂😂😂😂
I think thats a adaptation or whatever its called of his true story. Him going a burger place and then his parent thinking he is talking about a girl because the words sounds the same
FR lolololololol lmaooooooooooo
You know what's bettet than feelings
A job
@@MehdiHajizade lol
Asian parents are similar to African parents th-cam.com/video/30K5HH5wcHc/w-d-xo.html
"Life is about doing things you hate to make money"
Yes, the way I relate to this so much.
The sad thing is there's a lot of people out there who do things they hate and they still barely get by
"And flex on Instagram."
when you got off work at 11 pm and just wanted to chill for a bit before going to bed, and then that line hit, so you paused the video while pondering on your life
“You don’t need straight pants.”
“You need straight A’s!” That had me laughing
So hard lol 😂
Lol
A is for average. A++ is for Asians.
"You know what's better than feelings? A job."
Wiser words were never spoken.
My wifi cut out 8 seconds into the video, and I watched Steven staring off blankly for a solid 2 minutes before I realized something was up. I was dying of laughter the whole time, thinking “this is the laziest thing I’ve ever seen in my life, but somehow the funniest as well” 😂
That made me laugh so mad hard. I’m totally the kinda of guy to hold on a black reaction for way too long
@@StevenHe Steven!!! Read your comment one more time🤣🤣
@@odinaabdurahimova2828 🤣🤣
@@odinaabdurahimova2828 ahahaha I just noticed
Your WiFi is a *FAILURE*
Oh my god, my mother actually did that ending to me. When she came to my college graduation, she asked me why I had no boyfriend prepared and what was wrong with me 😂😭
and then she'll be like you aren't getting younger, it's hard to have kids when you are older. Seriously, who was the one said no dating!!!
the hell did they expecting? You'll get a boyfriend once you graduate from college? Lmao
My Mom is telling me that since I was 16, no big deal
Seems to me that you had plenty of time between your final exam and your graduation.
Where were their grandchildren?
Same thing in India too 😂
The “All your aunties think something wrong with you now” gets me every time. 💀💀💀 the literal accuracy of it
tell them, something wrong is you dont have time and money, unlike them they must have time and money to think something wrong with you
Reply them
No money
No time
Born gay means something is wrong. So sad😭😭
My aunt literally sat me down to talk about this I don't even know if I should laugh or cry
1:54
"Magnet....WHO YOU TRYNA ATTRACT?!"
"Thomas even had a girlfriend once."
"Who's Thomas?"
_"Exactly."_
Genius line. Applause.
Man I don't understand joke, I feel dumb
@@littlebore7287 the joke is that because Thomas had a girlfriend he was forgotten
@@iAnonymous877 oh lol thanks, now I get it
Man this line hit so hard.😂😂😂
Instant realization of point
Man this line hit so hard.😂😂😂
Instant realization of point
“You’re so useless you make Sakura look like AMAZON PRIME”
I actually chocked laughing so much at this part.
exactly when i was reading your Comment this scene came on. i almost died
same lmao
Glad im not the only one
Sakura is as useless as you
That would been a funny line
That made me scream 💀💀
“You know what’s better than feelings ? A JOB.” got me laughing.
I want to leave a like but its 303
"Life is about doing this u hate for money ,money is for flexing thing on instagram"got me laughing soo much i fell off my bed
“Do you know what’s better than feelings? A job”
“Life is about doing things you hate to make money”
Pure fucking gold
And use that money to do things you like
and use that money to flex on Instagram
That was the most accurate Boomer Parent statement I've ever heard.
And wasting that money in psychologists.
The wise words from Steven’s dad: “just sleep faster”😂
If only that worked!
@@Kattywagon29 Alot of people do that, they fall asleep as soon as they put their heads on the pillow, some within 3 minutes, if only i could do the same. To sleep whenever i want. Imagine such power.
@@stephenjohn2131 Some people want their super power to be invisibility. I want to be able to get exactly how much quality sleep that I want, whenever I want, under any circumstances.
If only this worked 😂😂
2:02 "Why are you not married yet? All your aunties think something is wrong with you"
This line was felt by my spirit.
1:26 “instagram ok…….WHO YOU TRYNA DM!?”
"life is about doing stuff you hate to get money, and then flexing on insta"
Truer words have never been said
@Guys look👇🅥 I'm ok, thx for nothing
Theres one thing more true.
The reason humans are failures is because they are addicted to breathing. They feel like they need it to live.
0:49: “Life is about doing things you hate to make money.” Wise words 🤣
unfortunately for 90% of us, that is the straight truth
"and then using that money to flex on instagram" LOL
As someone who just got out of a long relationship last week when he said “why would you want to have feelings. You know what’s better than feelings? A job” that just hit different haha
you k mate
You know when I'm depressed I watch propaganda music..... They freakin slap
As a man named Thomas...this hit real close to home 🤣
Exactly 😳
"Then sleep faster" is my new favourite quote
Your consistency and quality of content never disappoints! ❤
B is for bot
1000th like !!!!!!!!
The bots are failures
I am the boss in bot failure management i wont help you with these types of bots deal with them yourself you failure
..
@@QuartzGhost I hate these bots
When he said: “No dating till marriage”, I felt that 😔
10 likes and 2 comments lemme fix that
Ooof..
Me too😥😥😭
F
@Rare one stop
I was not expectin the transition music. And the lil shift in ambience, i dig it
Congratulations on 5 million subscribers Steven, you definitely deserve it. I also have a video suggestion:
Steven’s grandfather comes in as a guest for failure management as his methods were used before physics was invented
THANK YOU! Good Idea, I've thought about bring in the grandad
Hello the real Steven
Steven's Dad's Dad; is he going to tell Steven's Dad that he is a failure for raising a failure when SDD's son became the face of Beijing Corn. SDD then goes on to train Steven in high level acting, Steven gets an Oscar, then becomes EGOT.
Finally, Steven is the face of Galaxy Corn.
All in 5min.
what the hell is here?
@@drekky23 They are just spam/phishing bots, Don't click the links. The one that looks like its from Steven has that black v next to his name. Its a fake account made to look almost identical to the TH-camrs account so ppl will click it.
"NO DATING UNTIL MARRIAGE"
ah yes, you can finally date after you finish dating
Umm have you ever heard of arranged marriages?
@@Chootajin But who is he gonna marry? He's such a failure, nobody gonna want him, unless the girl's family loves corn.
@@Chootajin If you have time for arranged marriage, you should be building a business instead
@@Chootajin common in india and sri lanka
@@Spartan_117--chief Pakistan and south china have it as well
"Life is about doing things you hate to make money"
WHY IS THAT TRUE THO
because you then want to flex it on insta.
Or you could just choose a job you like but maybe not get paid as much
“Dating before College is how you fail school”
Well, he’s not wrong. Everyone I know who dropped out or failed classes focused more on dating then school so…
Wise Words by Steven’s Dad
😆😆😆 this was a deep lesson ingrained in me
This video unironicy has lots and lots of life lessons hidden as jokes. I know the dad is kinda just used for 1 line jokes but he isn't wrong most of the time. The line about a job you hate for money is what really caught my attention about these life lessons well played.
@@finalformcooler511 then you flex on Instagram
@@ryanwoon3534 I don't even have instagram 😭😭😭😭😭😭
@@Mockingbird7504 then you flex to the gods
I remember during high school. My aunt said "Dating will lead to failure."
Me who still is single and reaching 30. And my aunt is like "Aiyaaa why you still single?. Failure!"
Same
"Magnet..... WHO YOU TRYING TO ATTRACT?!" These jokes are getting too good 🤣
I love that it makes no sense
Magnet... who you tryna attract?!
Steven's dad is taking this way too far.
"Who's Thomas"
"Exactly"
that hit me hard man, pure emotional damage
HAHAH
“You know what’s better than having feelings? … A Job!”
That job line cracks me up so much! 😂 🤣😂🤣
"Dating before college is how you fail school." I'm sure I've been told that. It's crazy how parents act so similarly.
And than there is that guy with straight As and his girlfriend who he has been dating for 2 years. Yeah life is not fair never was and never will be
My parents asserted this point almost verbatim, haiyaa.😱😂 I still wonder how and why some folks date before or during college and do relatively well. Here I am now, a recent pharmacy graduate aiming to pass board exams and secure a full-time job. All I can do is wait, watch, and seek until the right woman comes along.
@@verentyee5413 There is no "right woman". 90% of divorces are initiated by women among college educated, and remaining 10% keep their men miserable.
"Life is about doing things you hate for money, then using that money to flex on Instagram!"
Ahahahhahahaa
Steven’s dad is the one carrying this channel, that’s why his back is sore from steven’s failure 😂
It must be by now his third back surgery
That's why Steven's dad needs the Gucci backpack
"You don't need straight pants, you need straight A's. "
Well that is some motivation thank you Steven's dad.
Sincerely,
A FAILURE.
Might be A FAILURE but at least there's an A!
But no A+
Stupid!
When the magnet part came up, I knew exactly what the punchline was, and was so satisfied to see Steven’s dad bring it home!
Yes-it took me until “basketball court” to see the pattern
“ A magnet huh, … Who you trying to attract!” Lol😂!
I was waiting for that too! Pure comedy gold. Lol
"You gotta nake sure you study at least 20 hours a day"
"And what about sleep?"
"Sleep faster!"
The Wendy's thing reminded me of how when a university friend of mine moved to Canada he "kept wondering who the hell is this Timmy that keeps getting mentioned and why do all the girls keep wanting to go to this bastard's house". And then he found out that "Timmy's" is slang for a nationally popular coffee & donut franchise. 🤣
Is it Tim Hortons?
@@JAS0N_M00RE Sure is! Lol
Really.. When he said he's going to wendy's I first thought that it was the name of some sort of a cafe or something
@@rajninaik4154 Well, yeah - it's a fast food place.
😂 😂😂
I’m graduating HS this year and I’m legit mentally preparing myself for the emotional damage of “why you not married yet in 4 years”. I know because it’s already happened to some of my cousins in their mid 20s.
th-cam.com/video/QB7ACr7pUuE/w-d-xo.html
Finally it's here
I was with this guy since he was at 30K subs a couple years ago, I knew he was going to be famous because he had a talent I had never seen in any TH-camr before. I left TH-cam and came back now to check on him and he's at 5M, couldn't be more proud. Keep it up Steven ❤️
👑 that means so much to me man. You believed in me when few people did
@@StevenHe EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
U leave yt bcz emotional DAMAGE
"You know what's better than feelings? A job" xD
Every time a new video drops, we all get a case of the smiles! TY so much, Steven! And thank you for supporting mental health awareness!
We in China don't pay enough attention to mental health haha I laugh about it
Can we just take a moment to appreciate Steven's dads sunglasses. Its a good thing to whip off of your eyes when you want to be aggressive.
I have similar glasses but there is no way I wouldn't burst out laughing trying to look aggressive with them
True, that.
1:11 him taking a picture with the camera lid still on is so stupidly hilarious
HAAA you noticed
This is the first skit I have ever seen from you Steven He...and it's already my favorite😸
"Magnet. Who you tryna attract!"
I loved that line. Same as the contact lenses one.
Same, it was hilarious before but line absolutely killed me, lol.
What does he say after the basketball?
@@98MTBiker It is a bit hard to hear, but I think he says "who you trying to court"
@@jakeisdadambest Makes sense. Thanks
"You know whats better than feelings? A job." -Asian Dad. A quote that I can live by.
1:30 - your iron your pants. You don't need straight pants, YOU need STRAIGHT A's 💀😭😂😂
"That's why I dress you like a background extra on nickelodeon"
I've never heard something so cruel except I have
I wanna see a tutorial on how to sleep faster
I actually do sleep faster
@@hinakedragon8512 sure bud
I’m so quick, I’m even fast asleep!
Uberman sleep schedule will remain you 22 hours a day.
Aaah as an Indian.. I heard these words from my mum constantly.. However I do agree there is some merit in waiting till after college to get a serious relationship.. Relationships can really make or break your future..
Realization hits: Shit... I turned into my mum
I got that realization some days ago mate.... I know it's fucked up
College mein fail ho gya ?
Aaj se tu meri aulaad nahi, mar gaya tu mere liye.... Dafa ho jaa mere ghar se..................
Emotional damage X 100
I legit thought Steven's Dad was going to go out to spy on Steven and just see him go to a Wendy's restaurant and then leave but find Steven meeting a girl and it just cuts before Steven's Dad grabs the slipper to hit Steven. I was not expecting Steven's Dad to stay home and make a lot of links such as the magnets, which was really good
HAAAA my mom used to do that to me. Go all detective on my room
It's the basketball..... Who you tryna court?... for me 😂🤣
“You’re so useless you make Sakura look like Amazon prime” that line hit harder than my dads belt 😂
🤣🤣 ik right
1:19 ghost busters
"You don't need straight pants, you need straight A's!"
This quote is forever seared into my mind
Steven’s laugh is infectious!
Steven’s Dad: What do they all have in common?
Steven: They’re happy?
Steven’s Dad: THEY’RE ALL FAILURES
0:37
I will be honest...dating in college...if it is the wrong person...yep, definitely a good way to fail college. thankfully I've picked myself up and am doing much more excellent in university 😊
I’ve gone through that but still mid in college
Glad you’re better now
“You know what’s better than having feelings? A job” 😂😂😂😂
"Then sleep faster la"
I died there
I just binge watched a bunch of Steven's videos, my cheeks hurt from so much giggling. Thank You Steven
Same here leh
But back in my day pain wasn't discovered yet
My mother told me all through primary school and high school that I had to prioritise studying at all times. There will be plenty of time to make friends as an adult. Same for dating. There would be plenty of time to find a partner when I was an adult. Now I am an adult, with awful social anxiety, which is my fault apparently. I struggle hugely to make friends in person, and the close online friends I do have "don't count". My parents pressured me for years after I graduated high school to find a partner so they can get grandchildren (despite them knowing I am asexual), and now that I am in a relationship my family constantly tells me to break up with my girlfriend because she isn't good enough for them. There is zero winning.
The worst thing is that my brother was allowed to do whatever he wanted. Blow off studying for friends? Yep. Get bad grades? Yep. Date? Yep. Drop out of uni? Yep.
Very sucky.
Dude I'm so sorry that your family did that to you. Unsolicited two cents from an internet stranger time: it kinda sounds like you need to cut off your toxic family? It's probably not going to get better if you don't draw a hard line. They can't just keep treating you like this--you absolutely deserve better. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck--these are hard situations to navigate--and hope that you and your real support system always remember your true value and that you are worthy of respect, including honoring who you are and the choices you make!
Thats a hard life
@@babybaklavagus totally agree.
Look up "golden child", "scapegoat child" and "narcissistic parents". Hopefully you won't recognize the dynamic but if you do then finding others who experienced similar things will be very useful. Either way, I am so sorry. I hope you still are with your girlfriend and haven't listened to your parents.
I totally feel you. Went through the same type of experience and I was very screwed up. One time when we were visiting my aunt's, they told them that my younger brother worked in the steel mill I worked in. I was so mad and later on, asked my mom why she would make it seem like it was my brother that got my high waged union job and not me. She told me that being a female, they would think I was a slut. I worked in the office and not on the dock. Omg!! Right? I have my own personal therapist that I go to for 30 years now. 😂❤
"Sleep faster."
this guy deserves a nobel prize.
Arnold Schwarzenegger said this: There are only 24 hours in a day. Sleep faster.
3:21 As a Chinese female, I wrote 宝宝 to my 闺蜜 once and my mom saw it while scrolling through my phone. And guess what happens, no did not pull out her slipper. But instead pulled out a thin stick out of nowhere and slapped me on the leg. ( A thing that Fuzhou parents do 👍🏻 )
“Dont need straight pants, you need straight A’s” -Steven’s dad
😂😂😂😂
@Stеvеn Не Shorts 🅥 bot