Not me being too obsessive with tarot readings about him lately and saying «Okay, I swear that I will watch just one more reading to get THE info, and then I will stop doing it» and then opening my TH-cam home page to your Delulu Checkpoint 😂😂😂 And I want to say thank you very much! I got THE info. Pile 1, I’ve already known everything, need to trust my intuition more😊 love you!
Pile 2. Commenting again because omg I gained clarity girl. Decided to reconcile. You really called me out and I needed it. I pained him by my emotionally immature decision and I do realize I have a fantasy of love that is never going to manifest. You are apart of my healing journey and I need you to understand how much this reading really opened my eyes. I do my own readings and the world card has started to come up now with the judgement. It’s been a long journey of heartbreak and realizing my own faults and this is like the realization that finally has closed out a chapter for me. ❤❤❤❤❤
Pile 3 I noticed it’s better not to call it anything in particular. Let them feel safe until it’s just like “wow…are we together?” 😂🤭. I’m happy about the consistency & emotional safety, but I’m still remaining grounded and aware ❤
Pile 1 resonates, this is someone I met at a college club. I had a strong feeling about him the moment we locked eyes. And he flirted with me a LOT even in front of our whole group. I feel in my gut there's a lot to this but I just don't understand why there's been no movement; when my gut tells me there's smth there, I've not once been wrong. Maybe there's a lesson here that has nothing to do with us getting together but this is confirmation that there's something. I need to stop focusing on him so much haha, thank you much ❤🧿
Group 2… you clocked my tea plssssss I am so defensive and quick to upset lol but I did reach out and apologize sooooo at this point, it’s up to them and I’ve been focusing on myself :”) They’re very prideful from what I’ve seen and I think me saying I am going to pull my energy back wounded their ego pretty deeply; they’re typically the one who ghosts. I took the power from them by pulling my energy then gave it back by apologizing and I doooooo think they’re abusing that a bit which is rly a turn off and I think is what’s keeping me stuck. however, I think you’re so right that it was more of a fantasy than anything AND they were also projecting a fantasy onto me as well. So it’s up in the air and it does hurt my feelings at times but if it’s meant to be it will be and if not, I’m not losing any sleep over it!
Megan, if I haven't said it before, I'll say it again. It's not always you find the right people you connect with in the woowoo things but I'm grateful that I'm able to find your channel. You always share what we need when we need to and call us out with as much grace that only you can. I appreciate your presence on this digital space x1M. Thank you for this reading 😺💕
Pile 2😭 I opened up to him about how I felt about him and he rejected me. I'm heartbroken obviously but I'm just trying to let it go since he's been such a good friend to me. Not me "trying" to let him go but finding myself listening to your videos lol It hurt to hear but thank you for keeping it real!!
Pile 3 Yup he's out in the middle of nowhere fighting fires. I never know when he will be back in town. We have a BIG age difference, that's my only hangup
Megan I'm so glad you moved this video back up the cue. Even tho it's a month old, it's just so revelant to my Right Now. I can't even express to you how much I really needed to hear this right now! My person and I have a long ways to go improving our communication...and there's just so much that gets unsaid..misunderstood. You bring so much Insight and Clarity into Myself..into the Situation. It makes getting thru the Long Silences so much more bearable....and THIS is why you are my Fav tarot reader😊😊 You just Get me...❤❤ Thank You!
Choice 2. You exactly hit the nail on the head with this one for me. Sad but true. We texted each other occasionally, but I had no choice but to do the del lu lu on this one. Many fish in the sea people. Lol. Thank you for your awesome readings. ❤😊🙏🌟💫✨️
Gurllll yesterday i was watching ur old delulu check point and I was saying to myself “ man I wish she would post a new delulu check point video,” and here it is!!! Thank you soooo much 😩😩 I'm struggling being a hopeless romantic so my delulu emotion works overtime 🤣🤣🤣🤧🤧🤧
Always love the genuine realness because at the end of the day we all have free will and have to live with our own choices. Love your readings and couldn’t resist to be spiritually nosy. 😂
Group 1 thanks for the reminder my intuition really is right😂😂 wwhooo kneeww!? Im doing amazing besides this life is great i cant complain ❤️ it was funny u mentioned not watching you anymore bc when i watched where would i be in a year reading nothing resonated i took it as well shit u might not be watching her in a year 😢😂 made me sad but excited for whats to come 💗💗
Pile 3 spot on ❤😂 thank you. I kinda already knew all this already! We been split up a year ago and she’s 500 miles away back home.my initials are RW & hers are CK 🤗
Spot on again! 🤣 Pile1. The weird inner knowing that me and the person's chapter is not over yet is just so annoying when they're not here yet. 🙃 Hence I am here. 🤣 Thank you for confirming I'm not delulu. 🤣
Pile 2. I told him how I felt, and he rejected me; I’m a client of his, and he doesn’t want to date a client. He wasn’t cruel at all, and I was happy with the way I conducted myself, considering how high my hopes had been and how disappointed and hurt I was by the rejection. After all, we’re still on good terms. What bruised my ego more, I think, was the realisation I wasn’t as healed as I thought I was. This finally got me thinking about whether I might be neurodivergent, which is a label I’ve resisted all my life due to highly traumatic experiences with family abuse and social rejection. I’ve never been in an intimate relationship, and I’m 32. I moved to a new city a few years ago to escape my family, and I’ve been telling people I’m in recovery from an abusive ex because enablers made me feel as though I would be judged or persecuted for telling the truth. It seemed to me that people were more likely to side with me (without me having to explain myself and risk being triggered) if I said my abuser was an ex-partner; if I said they were a family member, they were more likely to side with my family and judge me, especially if they had conservative values. Realising a parent took advantage of me s*xually and having to rethink my entire life is painful enough without also having to deal with victim-blaming and people who assume I’ve just got an attitude problem. I’ve heard Spirit telling me for a while now that I’m ND, but I so desperately wanted it to not be true. I needed to believe that all the struggle in my life and the difficulty with fitting in was only because I was, for the time being, unhealed, not because I was fundamentally different. If I’m ND, then things won’t gradually get better; it’s not just a wound and won’t be healed by time. It feels like validation of my abuser, who had taught me I was too naive, fragile, and weak to survive without him. But I’m not sure it can be avoided any longer. This persistent problem with communication and “showing up wrong” energetically could be me masking. But it’s kinda hard to figure out how to stop doing that when it’s something I’ve done literally all my life. I suspect that’s where the work is that needs to be done. The good news is my crush has confided in me he’s also ND. At the very least, he won’t judge me for that.
Pile 3 resonates! We’re new grad school classmates, so we are on the same career path to be counselors. She’s still fairly new to me, so getting to know each other as friends first makes sense. We’ll be around each other for 2 yrs & I’m actually letting her live with me.
2. He got his friend to do an obsession love spell on me based on seeing my pic that i posted and then left me to obsess over him, and we haven't really talked much afterward. He is quite busy with work from what i heard his friends say. I am waiting for him to fess up, rather than approach him and the caster and appear crazy, lol. So I've decided to stay mostly quiet about it with only hinting at it. Avoidant, very much so. I've tried starting conversations, just not interested in talking. 😢 I can't believe someone did this to me, it's actually causing me physical pain, sleepless nights, anxiety and sadness and then I'm left alone in the dark. 💔 I don't even know how to break this spell, lol. Also he is a gamer and we met over in a game.
Pile 2 - I liked a Pisces. I knew him from school and I worked at his workplace. He didn’t remember who I was at all. He’s in a relationship with someone else. He’s not the only guy I’m crushing on though. I like another guy but I don’t know his zodiac sign at all. He gives off Aquarius vibes though but I could be wrong. I might consider watching one of the other piles for the other guy. And I am trying to let go of this Pisces. I’ve been stuck on him for awhile, idk why that is (or maybe I do know). He’s cute and I liked his deep voice and he was somewhat tall. (And this is tmi, but I know he’s packing down there 100%). I’m an Aries. I dream about him sometimes. A lot of them were intimate. I could even hear his voice in those dreams.
FUCK ok yeah. u right. group 1 here and i keep fantasizing about ways to push things forward like Now but i keep getting the sense that if anything at all is going to come of this, it will take more time than i want it to. but the thing that sealed the deal for me in this delulu checkpoint was when you said that my ego is getting hurt bc i'm lowkey taking it personally that things haven't moved along further yet. That hurts to fuckin hear but you're so right. my intuition keeps saying "Leave it!" like i'm a dog that keeps sneaking away to eat more grass. aka the best thing for me to do is focus on the stuff that is actually happening rn and get my own shit together - bc let's be real, i'm not really ready for this to be a full-blown thing yet just as much as they're not ready either! in my eternal piscean quest to find silver linings, i think having so much time in advance when i know this thing is coming up, and i know this person and i can feel the sparks, is giving me a lot of time to prepare and to make sure i am actually equipped to handle this. as opposed to being caught totally off-guard by a sudden connection that booms into something major overnight. it is HARD to just sit tight and let things unfold naturally, especially when i can see all of the potential between us and that feels so real and so vivid! i have to keep reminding myself that there are steps in between here and there, and we're not there yet. love this delulu checkpoint, please absolutely continue to do more! i really do feel like you just held up a mirror to me 💗
Pile 2 haha you pulled all the letters in their name and nerd which is how they describe their self 😅 i withdrew cause i met them when my life was very messy and it triggered me that i was getting in my feels about them. i didn’t have my ish together and they also had a lot of things going on so i just let it go. i’m not angry since our interactions were work-related/platonic and not intense but i miss them 😂
group 3: i do want him to be my husband. before we were together he mentioned that he didn’t believe in marriage and thinks its better to be a single parent for taxes. smh recently, he mentioned he was saving to by a house and i said “aww you’re buying me a house???” and he replied “that’s the plan” then i said “and next one of these?” and pointed at my ring finger and he said “i’ve never bought anything like that for anyone before” but didn’t say no. they do travel from another state and they are prob sleeping right now lol he does move slow so and i need to be more patient so great advice! kush is what i gave him last week lol. we r both part time smokers
girl i know that unsolicited advice is rudeness but this man is NOT your husband!!!! it is a TERRIBLE sign if a man literally tells u he PLANS on having children out of wedlock
You are justtttt!!! Amazingg Pile 2 was on point! I wasnt even thinking of coming back but today was feeling nostalgic and started having doubts but yeah i aint doing nothing unless…. A B and C happen.But he insnt going to do the unless… so time to let it all go… Thanks so much for your wonderful readings as always. I only check your readings when im ready to listen to the truth !
Yeah i put too much expectations on him and i know that was wrong. But still there’s so much pain, things that never happened that i hoped for as anyone would in any real relationship… done with the breadcrumps!! Feel better like this even if the pain was due to things i created in my head half the time…
Pile 2 - I’m the problem..and accepting the fact that I have healing to do that is very difficult to face. I’m not sure if I have the courage or strength to fight for relationship’s or love. But, in that case I gotta let it go right? I have to face myself again to find peace to earn I deserve. I want to make that journey.. thank you! I’ll try!
Pile #2 here. Phewee. I thought I moved on and I for sure did. I met him on a dating app three years ago. It was a whole week of us texting and talking to each other and we got along so well, we may have even love bombed each other. We went on one date that went well. He took a couple of days away from me and my anxious attachment got the better of me and I was also PMSing at the moment and I went bonkers on him. I tried reconciling with him but he said you're not "emotionally safe" for me and that was enough to let me take a hard look at myself. I put myself in therapy, did a lot of healing and have evolved ever since. I saw him on a dating app again and maybe a part of me fantasizes we could get back together. I reached out to him but I suppose he doesn't want to do anything with me since I've been blocked everywhere for three years now (ouch!). Maybe I haven't fully let this go and it's time to release it. Thank you for the reading even though it was a hard watch.
I appreciate your honesty. We all have our own stuff we should be looking at and it can be really helpful to get your feedback. You are supporting our spiritual growth by being honest. Thank you, Queen! ❤❤
felt drawn to pile 1&3. Picked 3. I don’t know how we’re going to end up together but I’ve been getting this unshakable feeling that we’ll end up married. It’s driving me nuts. We started off as a situationship that I moved to a friendship because it got complicated, but I did joke about marriage/honeymooning, which he played along with lol
So i listened to both 1 and 2 and they both resonate. Honestly this was hard hitting but in a good way. Would love more self reflective type readings because i definitely need to look more inwards
Pile 2 : ooof very true the person i have feelings for he is at a distance from me he recently came back into my life to apologize to me cause he ghosted me , he slowly opened up to me that he is broken and has trouble loving himself i understand that i dont mind not talking to him becasue i know that solitude can help find your inner light ,im also reassure him that im always here with him and accept him as is right now what matters is him being happy i dont mind helping and showing him love thro me even if we are nothing at the end . He is trying i can hear it in his voice god why people do this to others we have a sexual chemistry too like i never had with anyone else i FEEL his emotions sometimes or he is in my mind out of no where what IS THIS 😭
Its crazy you posted this bc I've been watching some of your videos & taking in your advice & I kept saying I need a more recent delulu checkpoint reading & here you go 🤣🤣 I appreciate it sm though thank you 😭💜
2: So I've liked this person for 2yrs. Things didn't really shift until Oct/Nov and I was shocked he was as interested as he was and we entered the talking stage. Unfortunately, that's where we stayed and I am a big part of that; this year I've been doing teacher training and it was the most emotionally gruelling, time-consuming process that I felt I only had the capacity to follow not lead and as much as I'd be willing to follow I felt if I couldn't also lead I shouldn't pursue but I was still getting a lot from what we had so I was fine with that. My plan was to purse moment the training was done, however, his energy suddenly felt absent this last month or so, so I kinda got put off and second guessed myself. As for communication, yh we both suck at that unless we're in a heated debate. Funny thing, he responds best when I'm spontaneously flirting in a bold way. I do it without thinking but can't control when it happens (my friends have taken to calling it my broken rizz) its actually how things shifted in the first place. You are right that he's not the outright romantic type, yes we do know each other from work and yes there have been moments that I have gotten annoyed but tend to correct myself. This reading made perfect sense. Thank you.
I think I need a monthly delulu checkpoint, or even better weekly😂 I'm so damn delulu these days because I'm single, lonely and the guys I'm interested in aren't interested in me
Leaning towards 3 initially but I felt drawn to listen to 2 first. Generally both of them together feels like a timeline difference.😂 Just need to check myself every now and then that I match the energy of the present. What he is giving out and what the vibes are. We get along well except one major thing (he is part of a cult) and at some point in the years to come he will wake up but it's going to take a huge thing to happen before that does so I need to wait and be patient and consistent 🎉
Group number 1, and I had my huge crush Khabib Nurmagomedov in mind (sport celebrity) The most unavailable man there is. Yes I am a bit sad over The fact that he doesnt really puts in the effort to pursuit me😜
Pile 2, omg 100% Every word was absolutely true. Down to him being a Pisces. I rejected him bc I was mad, regretted it, tried to get back with him, then he rejected me. 😢 I've tried reaching out again and no response. And no response is a response. 💔 But thank you for the confirmation ❤
Random number generation picked Pile 1. we met in a FB group years ago and recently have been dating. he's emotionally unavailable - childhood, divorce and more. HIs finances are in the tank as is his career. He's raising his teens on his own, one of whom is autistic and the kids were always around us. we rarely spent time alone then his former wife reappeared after years of not seeing the kids. He hid his finances etc and was tight lipped so I had conversations and didn't see change (although he offered me a relationship), i left. He told me he's working on himself. He needs to work on himself. I want him to be better for himself. I've interrupted his path long enough to show him what he needs to open up to. He's Pisces Sun and Venus and I'm Libra Sun and Venus. I want to listen to Pile 3 also.
This is crazy. I picked pile 1 and its par on par with my situation. Currently trying to let go someone that causes me confusion and frustration. We barely know each other yet he's willing to hang out only the two of us. That was enough to give me hell of confusion. He said he doesn't want relationship and im fine being friend but even so he lacks of contacts with me and at most we just share eye contact. There's always tension underneath and it's tiring. And he is indeed someone from my workplace so we see each other often. So i always wonder if me thinking there's some spark between us is just my delusional thoughts.
Pile 2: I can’t believe I legit found this on yt while I’m having a 🍃smoke and I was drawn to pile 2 before I even realised there’s a leaf behind her 😂😂😂😂 ain’t no way man 😂😂
2 - can’t remember how many times I went towards him so he would be comfortable to communicate with me, as I sens he’s nervous around me… yet seems to me like it works only for a time before he retracts into himself, don’t see him and even sometimes acts as if I’m not here 🤨 my feelings are getting hurt, how can I move towards him like that.. then we go back to we watch each other and don’t move forward. I’m exactly how you described at the beggining, despite all of these thoughts I still try to make some efforts yet he turns his head whenever I look at him 😂 hell no sir. I give many chances until I decide it’s enough, if they have a ego I have my pride. I don’t get how many times I will have to endure this same situation with men. They want the princess treatment I guess. It’s not even me who showed my interested in the first place, why they can’t leave me alone if they know they won’t come towards me with real intentions. I was fine by myself 😤 Anyways, I love straight to the point and honest readings. I guess people who come for tarot readings should take responsability and be ready to hear some harsh truth instead of thinking they will hear only what they want to, that’s how it is even if general readings messages don’t apply to everybody. It’s tricky but we still hear some guidance.
#2 Thank you for the realness. I am working on letting go... He's not what I want... I'm going to keep telling this to myself until the day I will actually move on and totally not care. Q1. Is he going to initiate contact with me online or in person by himself? Q2. Will I successfully move on from him if I just keep telling myself to do so?
Pile 2. (I also picked pile 3, and im even more confused!!) love your readings and you’ve always been accurate to me but now im confused. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way and maybe I’m exposing myself for being a dumb bitch. 😅 But the whole time I was in a connection with them I was watching your videos as we do have problems with communication and the whole time the readings would basically lead to the same message that I need to be in “Empress” mode and that I shouldn’t overextend myself. But now it’s saying I didn’t put in the work? (You definitely said that you don’t know the situation and I could’ve been putting in the work so it’s leading towards a no, which is fine!) also you were correct about me projecting my fantasy on romance onto this person. They’re definitely not the lovey type but they showed they loved and cared for me in their actions. I’ll never discredit that. I left the friendship because they definitely triggered my self esteem as they wanted to be friends. I didn’t want that and didn’t seem to want to put in effort into a friendship that passed the friendship barrier before. When I get into a committed relationship, I won’t even talk to him so why bother, right? But Pile 3, called to me and it resonates too! I also watch your next relationship videos and even future spouse and it describes our situation to the T and it’s never a new energy. Should I just stop watching tarot? 😅😂
@@kylahjaniah what ?? how stressful has this been for you? 😫 honestly , i’m so happy I’m not the only one haha! I even do my own readings and they point towards him.
Before I watched the vid, just seeing the title & that there were 3 piles: I knew I was watching each one for a different person lmao Pile 1 for a hot coworker I don’t really know & only talk to on a rare occasion since our schedules don’t match up almost ever. I was hoping to see if there could be a fwb (I guess cwb? lol) situation there. It’s fine if not, it was just a silly daydream type thing. Pile 2 for my old high school crush, a creative Cancer man. I adored him & really felt so much with him (this was 15yrs ago lmao) and to this day, I still imagine conversations with him in my mind. It was always whenever I felt unloved by my ex(of almost 16yrs) and just imagined that someone would find me appealing. He never said anything, so that’s why I chose my ex anyways, lol. My ex showed immediate interest and wanted to be with me, and the feeling when I first saw him was unlike anything I’ve ever felt before; in my mind I thought ‘he is mine, and I am his.’ It only took 15yrs to realize womp womp, nope. My ex always left me in silence, and I’d always yearn and hope for the days of my old Missy’s Mondays phone calls @7pm with my old friend Mr Cancer. I miss our conversations deeply, maybe just someone to talk to in that way, a someone who could be something more. I asked about him because I wanted to know if there could be more to our story. I’ve seen his updates on social media; he’s kinda getting himself together like I am. I keep imagining that after I achieve this one goal, that I message him and we meet up, just see where things go. It’s funny how the few words I’ve read from his profile still sound the way he does in my mind, the version of him I’ve delulu’d by my mental side lmao.
So…who is my Pile 3? Well, you see. I’ve dubbed him my Catalyst. Something I can’t explain happened back in August 2023, like a light switch went off and I couldn’t stop thinking about my life with my then bf, and it hit me SO hard: I didn’t love him and I didn’t want to be with him anymore. So I left, lmao. And since have been slowly, more slowly than I’d like but I am accepting of it; I have been improving my life, doing things I’d never thought I could. I’ve never met my Catalyst and constantly question if it’s even him in that weird IG page that I once would chat with in the dms. I completely broke off contact with him and had my page private because of an incident earlier this year. See I was in vacay, and I took a vacay within that vacay, all in hopes of actually meeting him & seeing if he really was this important person in my life. At the time, I imagined he was my TF, but have since completely rejected that idea; I am thankful and acknowledge him as solely my Catalyst for my growth and change towards a better life. Still. I wanted to meet him, see if maybe we could connect, not sex, but certainly some form of ..idk, comfort? Affection? Mm. It didn’t happen; there was no way to communicate with him so I never knew if he even knew I was there. I do believe he did. But oh well. A dream I had after really sealed the deal for me that meeting him was just a silly fantasy going forward. A month & half later, I found out that on that day where I had tried to meet him, or had hoped to meet him…he met up with some waif beautiful young blonde and clearly did Something with her, idk for sure, but it was obvious. And that hurt so much, to think this person who I cared so much for just disregarded me for temporary carnal desires. It’s fine, you know, he’s not mine. It’s not the act that bothers me; it’s the timing, and it made me completely block him off. Yet here I am, still drawn in and curious, always getting the same messages from different readers from different years/months/cards. I want to be his friend, nothing more, if we could even manage to ever meet, idk anymore. Did I mention I haven’t had any sort of intimacy for 10yrs, lmao omg?! I’m not saving myself or anything like that, it’s a thing I’m still healing from- my ex always said I wasn’t in shape, I needed to be the one to initiate. It hurt & I felt so undesirable. My sis in law told me before I left to my vacay that I should be prepared to get different answers from what I was seeking. After I returned, she said ‘you put in all this effort, but where was his? There has to be equal give and take.’ It was triggering, and it only hit me now thinking about it that that’s what it was last year with my ex, too. We were on a vacation where I had paid for everything, and even bought a pretty yellow lace bra for a much needed fun time. after the concert, at the hotel, I showed it off, and he smiled and said, ‘it’s very pretty, and you’re very pretty, but I drank tonight so I can’t.’ And it was devastating. A rejection I was so used to but still so hopeful of something else, something more. He only had one drink, same as I, and it was at the beginning of a two hour concert. I didn’t argue, just got on my separate queen bed and listened to music as he went out for a smoke. So a parallel event, a denial of affection on a vacay, and it really messed me up. Which is where Pile 1 comes in. He’s really cute, and we have a decent vibe. Maybe something could come of that, really just something physical. But that’s not really my way, not what I want to do, lol. And with Pile 3, I just feel like I’m talking to myself & I’ve gone beyond delulu into batshit cray cray land, lmfao. The silence is very triggering for me. So in comes the memory of Pile 2, and how I wish I could talk to him again. I’m sorry I’ve just ranted about all my madness here. There’s so much more I could tap about but I know y’all ain’t gonna read that, lmao, and honestly same. I’ll keep watching, lol, for the interesting messages, all the while knowing I’m probs just living in a cray fantasy. In time I know it’ll pass and I’ll get over this. Wish it were like my ex and how I very quickly was able to release him after waking up to how miserable I had been for so many of those 15 years. Thank you for reading all that, if you did. I love your videos and especially love giggling when you’re like ‘bitch!’ lol! Awesome videos that I love watching during my lunch break (did I mention I work overnight?) and that always provide excellent guidance and messages.
I'd be de lu lu to even consider being in "a relationship" with anyone as as option at this point. 😅 I'll watch anyway tho 😂 😄 Pile #2. Yep! Resonates! Edit: We had a storm come through today. I haven't heard anything from him in nearly 2 weeks. I texted him today just to say that I hope he's OK and that I was ok. I reached out to him last time. He was cold as ice. Yeah, it is time that I let this go. I never wanted a relationship in the traditional sense. Yeah, he's probably blocked me. It wouldn't surprise me.
Delulu checkpoint is the most earth sign concept the stars could come up with I love it 😂❤
My Taurus Sun is screeeaming rn 🤭😂😂😂😂😂
I need a delulu checkpoint for this delulu checkpoint 😭
Side note- Every time you start a reading and say "If you picked this sticker, then welcome to your reading, friends" I say it along with you😂😂😂
Looooove that!! 💗💗💗
Ain’t even started my reading yet and I been known I needed a delulu checkpoint 😭
Not me being too obsessive with tarot readings about him lately and saying «Okay, I swear that I will watch just one more reading to get THE info, and then I will stop doing it» and then opening my TH-cam home page to your Delulu Checkpoint 😂😂😂
And I want to say thank you very much! I got THE info. Pile 1, I’ve already known everything, need to trust my intuition more😊 love you!
@@juliazevakova4139 💗💗💗
@@juliazevakova4139 sis I haven’t even listened yet and I read your comment and I was like yeah this is most definitely my pile 😂
Pile 2. Commenting again because omg I gained clarity girl. Decided to reconcile. You really called me out and I needed it. I pained him by my emotionally immature decision and I do realize I have a fantasy of love that is never going to manifest. You are apart of my healing journey and I need you to understand how much this reading really opened my eyes. I do my own readings and the world card has started to come up now with the judgement. It’s been a long journey of heartbreak and realizing my own faults and this is like the realization that finally has closed out a chapter for me. ❤❤❤❤❤
Pile 3 I noticed it’s better not to call it anything in particular. Let them feel safe until it’s just like “wow…are we together?” 😂🤭. I’m happy about the consistency & emotional safety, but I’m still remaining grounded and aware ❤
Pile 1 resonates, this is someone I met at a college club. I had a strong feeling about him the moment we locked eyes. And he flirted with me a LOT even in front of our whole group. I feel in my gut there's a lot to this but I just don't understand why there's been no movement; when my gut tells me there's smth there, I've not once been wrong. Maybe there's a lesson here that has nothing to do with us getting together but this is confirmation that there's something. I need to stop focusing on him so much haha, thank you much ❤🧿
Group 2… you clocked my tea plssssss I am so defensive and quick to upset lol but I did reach out and apologize sooooo at this point, it’s up to them and I’ve been focusing on myself :”) They’re very prideful from what I’ve seen and I think me saying I am going to pull my energy back wounded their ego pretty deeply; they’re typically the one who ghosts. I took the power from them by pulling my energy then gave it back by apologizing and I doooooo think they’re abusing that a bit which is rly a turn off and I think is what’s keeping me stuck. however, I think you’re so right that it was more of a fantasy than anything AND they were also projecting a fantasy onto me as well. So it’s up in the air and it does hurt my feelings at times but if it’s meant to be it will be and if not, I’m not losing any sleep over it!
Megan, if I haven't said it before, I'll say it again. It's not always you find the right people you connect with in the woowoo things but I'm grateful that I'm able to find your channel. You always share what we need when we need to and call us out with as much grace that only you can. I appreciate your presence on this digital space x1M. Thank you for this reading 😺💕
🥹🥹🥹 thank you for your words! 💗
Pile 2😭 I opened up to him about how I felt about him and he rejected me. I'm heartbroken obviously but I'm just trying to let it go since he's been such a good friend to me. Not me "trying" to let him go but finding myself listening to your videos lol It hurt to hear but thank you for keeping it real!!
"that wand's gonna be bopping you in the face" made me chuckle 😂
P.3. Thank you for this, this situation has definitely been super confusing but I’m sure it’ll be worth it ❤
Pile 3 Yup he's out in the middle of nowhere fighting fires. I never know when he will be back in town. We have a BIG age difference, that's my only hangup
Fighting fires you say 🫦🥵🤭
Thank you, group 1 just gave me so much validation and clarification on recent energy check-ins, I needed this message badly today.
Megan
I'm so glad you moved this video back up the cue.
Even tho it's a month old, it's just so revelant to my Right Now.
I can't even express to you how much I really needed to hear this right now! My person and I have a long ways to go improving our communication...and there's just so much that gets unsaid..misunderstood. You bring so much Insight and Clarity into Myself..into the Situation. It makes getting thru the Long Silences so much more bearable....and THIS is why you are my Fav tarot reader😊😊
You just Get me...❤❤
Thank You!
“The wand is going to come bop you in the face” 😂😂😂 I cannot.
🤭 did I say that!? 😂🍿🥤
Choice 2. You exactly hit the nail on the head with this one for me. Sad but true. We texted each other occasionally, but I had no choice but to do the del lu lu on this one. Many fish in the sea people. Lol. Thank you for your awesome readings. ❤😊🙏🌟💫✨️
Gurllll yesterday i was watching ur old delulu check point and I was saying to myself “ man I wish she would post a new delulu check point video,” and here it is!!! Thank you soooo much 😩😩 I'm struggling being a hopeless romantic so my delulu emotion works overtime 🤣🤣🤣🤧🤧🤧
Babe I have a 12th house Venus, I live this delulu life!! 😤😂
@@shadowplaytarot 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Always love the genuine realness because at the end of the day we all have free will and have to live with our own choices. Love your readings and couldn’t resist to be spiritually nosy. 😂
Thank you SO much for the check points. They are hard to hear, I was group 2, but necessary. I appreciate it more than you know.❤❤❤
💗
Group 1 thanks for the reminder my intuition really is right😂😂 wwhooo kneeww!? Im doing amazing besides this life is great i cant complain ❤️ it was funny u mentioned not watching you anymore bc when i watched where would i be in a year reading nothing resonated i took it as well shit u might not be watching her in a year 😢😂 made me sad but excited for whats to come 💗💗
Pile 3 spot on ❤😂 thank you. I kinda already knew all this already! We been split up a year ago and she’s 500 miles away back home.my initials are RW & hers are CK 🤗
Thank you for the messages. Felt drawn to pile 3. Blessings to you and the tribe :)
Spot on again! 🤣
Pile1. The weird inner knowing that me and the person's chapter is not over yet is just so annoying when they're not here yet. 🙃 Hence I am here. 🤣
Thank you for confirming I'm not delulu. 🤣
"Spirit says here's a gift, but you're going to question it the whole time" 🤣 💀
Pile one, same as my own readings on the situation, glad to have someone else see it. Thank you!
Pile 2. I told him how I felt, and he rejected me; I’m a client of his, and he doesn’t want to date a client. He wasn’t cruel at all, and I was happy with the way I conducted myself, considering how high my hopes had been and how disappointed and hurt I was by the rejection. After all, we’re still on good terms. What bruised my ego more, I think, was the realisation I wasn’t as healed as I thought I was. This finally got me thinking about whether I might be neurodivergent, which is a label I’ve resisted all my life due to highly traumatic experiences with family abuse and social rejection. I’ve never been in an intimate relationship, and I’m 32. I moved to a new city a few years ago to escape my family, and I’ve been telling people I’m in recovery from an abusive ex because enablers made me feel as though I would be judged or persecuted for telling the truth. It seemed to me that people were more likely to side with me (without me having to explain myself and risk being triggered) if I said my abuser was an ex-partner; if I said they were a family member, they were more likely to side with my family and judge me, especially if they had conservative values. Realising a parent took advantage of me s*xually and having to rethink my entire life is painful enough without also having to deal with victim-blaming and people who assume I’ve just got an attitude problem.
I’ve heard Spirit telling me for a while now that I’m ND, but I so desperately wanted it to not be true. I needed to believe that all the struggle in my life and the difficulty with fitting in was only because I was, for the time being, unhealed, not because I was fundamentally different. If I’m ND, then things won’t gradually get better; it’s not just a wound and won’t be healed by time. It feels like validation of my abuser, who had taught me I was too naive, fragile, and weak to survive without him. But I’m not sure it can be avoided any longer. This persistent problem with communication and “showing up wrong” energetically could be me masking. But it’s kinda hard to figure out how to stop doing that when it’s something I’ve done literally all my life. I suspect that’s where the work is that needs to be done.
The good news is my crush has confided in me he’s also ND. At the very least, he won’t judge me for that.
LOL not you roasting me the entire reading (pile 3). XD Thank you for this. Made me smile!
Pile 3 resonates! We’re new grad school classmates, so we are on the same career path to be counselors. She’s still fairly new to me, so getting to know each other as friends first makes sense. We’ll be around each other for 2 yrs & I’m actually letting her live with me.
i got pile 2 but im not upset ngl im just confused like i am just chilling fr
Group 2 called my ass our 😂 you are always so accurate and I appreciate your honesty 🙂↕️
I really like your readings...than you for being so candid
Pile three was on point hahaha ❤thank you
Just saw him tonight he was so happy and nervous to see me. I’m scared but I’m in Love I told him. I feel so much for him.
2. He got his friend to do an obsession love spell on me based on seeing my pic that i posted and then left me to obsess over him, and we haven't really talked much afterward. He is quite busy with work from what i heard his friends say.
I am waiting for him to fess up, rather than approach him and the caster and appear crazy, lol. So I've decided to stay mostly quiet about it with only hinting at it.
Avoidant, very much so.
I've tried starting conversations, just not interested in talking. 😢
I can't believe someone did this to me, it's actually causing me physical pain, sleepless nights, anxiety and sadness and then I'm left alone in the dark. 💔
I don't even know how to break this spell, lol. Also he is a gamer and we met over in a game.
Pile 3 thank you ❤
You have no idea how much this message helped with my indecision thank you. ☺️ love your stickers too
Beautiful you read my mind😂😂😂. First time hearing you. Sending light and love 🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️
3 was so accurate and confirmed
You're so honest it's a first time for to me to come across such a reader....thank you for clearity
Pile 2 - I liked a Pisces. I knew him from school and I worked at his workplace. He didn’t remember who I was at all. He’s in a relationship with someone else. He’s not the only guy I’m crushing on though. I like another guy but I don’t know his zodiac sign at all. He gives off Aquarius vibes though but I could be wrong. I might consider watching one of the other piles for the other guy. And I am trying to let go of this Pisces. I’ve been stuck on him for awhile, idk why that is (or maybe I do know). He’s cute and I liked his deep voice and he was somewhat tall. (And this is tmi, but I know he’s packing down there 100%). I’m an Aries. I dream about him sometimes. A lot of them were intimate. I could even hear his voice in those dreams.
FUCK ok yeah. u right. group 1 here and i keep fantasizing about ways to push things forward like Now but i keep getting the sense that if anything at all is going to come of this, it will take more time than i want it to. but the thing that sealed the deal for me in this delulu checkpoint was when you said that my ego is getting hurt bc i'm lowkey taking it personally that things haven't moved along further yet. That hurts to fuckin hear but you're so right. my intuition keeps saying "Leave it!" like i'm a dog that keeps sneaking away to eat more grass. aka the best thing for me to do is focus on the stuff that is actually happening rn and get my own shit together - bc let's be real, i'm not really ready for this to be a full-blown thing yet just as much as they're not ready either!
in my eternal piscean quest to find silver linings, i think having so much time in advance when i know this thing is coming up, and i know this person and i can feel the sparks, is giving me a lot of time to prepare and to make sure i am actually equipped to handle this. as opposed to being caught totally off-guard by a sudden connection that booms into something major overnight.
it is HARD to just sit tight and let things unfold naturally, especially when i can see all of the potential between us and that feels so real and so vivid! i have to keep reminding myself that there are steps in between here and there, and we're not there yet. love this delulu checkpoint, please absolutely continue to do more! i really do feel like you just held up a mirror to me 💗
I was dying for one of these! Thank you for being real on here
Pile 2 haha you pulled all the letters in their name and nerd which is how they describe their self 😅 i withdrew cause i met them when my life was very messy and it triggered me that i was getting in my feels about them. i didn’t have my ish together and they also had a lot of things going on so i just let it go. i’m not angry since our interactions were work-related/platonic and not intense but i miss them 😂
Omggggg thank you I’ve been waiting for a delulu checkpoint ❤️
I enjoy hanging out with you so much! ❤
Pile 2 here …. I love this … I needed to hear this ❤️🩹
Pile 2: Thank you mucho for the slap lol 😂❤
group 3: i do want him to be my husband. before we were together he mentioned that he didn’t believe in marriage and thinks its better to be a single parent for taxes. smh
recently, he mentioned he was saving to by a house and i said “aww you’re buying me a house???” and he replied “that’s the plan” then i said “and next one of these?” and pointed at my ring finger and he said “i’ve never bought anything like that for anyone before” but didn’t say no.
they do travel from another state and they are prob sleeping right now lol
he does move slow so and i need to be more patient so great advice!
kush is what i gave him last week lol. we r both part time smokers
girl i know that unsolicited advice is rudeness but this man is NOT your husband!!!! it is a TERRIBLE sign if a man literally tells u he PLANS on having children out of wedlock
@@carol0301 right! Don’t get love drunk now
Pile 3❤❤❤❤ received 🎉🎉🎉 thank you
....
I needed a delulu checkpoint so bad 😂 Thank you Megan ♥️
Group 2 and I highly appreciate this reading 😌✨ thank you🩵
You are justtttt!!! Amazingg
Pile 2 was on point! I wasnt even thinking of coming back but today was feeling nostalgic and started having doubts but yeah i aint doing nothing unless…. A B and C happen.But he insnt going to do the unless… so time to let it all go…
Thanks so much for your wonderful readings as always. I only check your readings when im ready to listen to the truth !
Yeah i put too much expectations on him and i know that was wrong. But still there’s so much pain, things that never happened that i hoped for as anyone would in any real relationship… done with the breadcrumps!! Feel better like this even if the pain was due to things i created in my head half the time…
I choose the group number 2 and it was enlightening to me! Thank you so much
Pile 2 - I’m the problem..and accepting the fact that I have healing to do that is very difficult to face. I’m not sure if I have the courage or strength to fight for relationship’s or love. But, in that case I gotta let it go right? I have to face myself again to find peace to earn I deserve. I want to make that journey.. thank you! I’ll try!
Pile #2 here. Phewee. I thought I moved on and I for sure did. I met him on a dating app three years ago. It was a whole week of us texting and talking to each other and we got along so well, we may have even love bombed each other. We went on one date that went well. He took a couple of days away from me and my anxious attachment got the better of me and I was also PMSing at the moment and I went bonkers on him. I tried reconciling with him but he said you're not "emotionally safe" for me and that was enough to let me take a hard look at myself. I put myself in therapy, did a lot of healing and have evolved ever since. I saw him on a dating app again and maybe a part of me fantasizes we could get back together. I reached out to him but I suppose he doesn't want to do anything with me since I've been blocked everywhere for three years now (ouch!). Maybe I haven't fully let this go and it's time to release it. Thank you for the reading even though it was a hard watch.
Group 1, thank you for your advice!
Pile 3🤎 claim it
Pile 1. My TF and I haven't had contact in 15 months. We have a telepathic connection. I'm trusting in the Divine Timing.
I appreciate your honesty. We all have our own stuff we should be looking at and it can be really helpful to get your feedback. You are supporting our spiritual growth by being honest. Thank you, Queen! ❤❤
💗💗💗
Pile 2 yup 💯 thank you 🩷
“Make sure your little red flags aren’t flying to the point like you’re wearing them like a f@!kn cape” lmao thanks for the reminder 🙊
Don’t entertain that energy girl!! You’re doing PERFECTLY well!
The way I stomped my foot and said noooooooo 😂 (love my lil delulu fantasy) 🙃
😂
felt drawn to pile 1&3. Picked 3. I don’t know how we’re going to end up together but I’ve been getting this unshakable feeling that we’ll end up married. It’s driving me nuts. We started off as a situationship that I moved to a friendship because it got complicated, but I did joke about marriage/honeymooning, which he played along with lol
So i listened to both 1 and 2 and they both resonate. Honestly this was hard hitting but in a good way. Would love more self reflective type readings because i definitely need to look more inwards
Pile 2 : ooof very true the person i have feelings for he is at a distance from me he recently came back into my life to apologize to me cause he ghosted me , he slowly opened up to me that he is broken and has trouble loving himself i understand that i dont mind not talking to him becasue i know that solitude can help find your inner light ,im also reassure him that im always here with him and accept him as is right now what matters is him being happy i dont mind helping and showing him love thro me even if we are nothing at the end . He is trying i can hear it in his voice god why people do this to others we have a sexual chemistry too like i never had with anyone else i FEEL his emotions sometimes or he is in my mind out of no where what IS THIS 😭
Pile 1. Yes it's a secret fwb. He wasn't consistent so I felt like I had to end it despite the fact I didn't really want to.
Pile 3
7.19.24: deck 3 😆 yeeeeepp hahaha
Its crazy you posted this bc I've been watching some of your videos & taking in your advice & I kept saying I need a more recent delulu checkpoint reading & here you go 🤣🤣 I appreciate it sm though thank you 😭💜
Mad respect for your delusional ✔️ point readings❤!!!! You have great integrity 👍🏼
Thank you for the delulu checkpoint!! I get a little lost in the sauce sometimes
2: So I've liked this person for 2yrs.
Things didn't really shift until Oct/Nov and I was shocked he was as interested as he was and we entered the talking stage. Unfortunately, that's where we stayed and I am a big part of that; this year I've been doing teacher training and it was the most emotionally gruelling, time-consuming process that I felt I only had the capacity to follow not lead and as much as I'd be willing to follow I felt if I couldn't also lead I shouldn't pursue but I was still getting a lot from what we had so I was fine with that. My plan was to purse moment the training was done, however, his energy suddenly felt absent this last month or so, so I kinda got put off and second guessed myself.
As for communication, yh we both suck at that unless we're in a heated debate. Funny thing, he responds best when I'm spontaneously flirting in a bold way. I do it without thinking but can't control when it happens (my friends have taken to calling it my broken rizz) its actually how things shifted in the first place.
You are right that he's not the outright romantic type, yes we do know each other from work and yes there have been moments that I have gotten annoyed but tend to correct myself.
This reading made perfect sense. Thank you.
No like pike two resonated too hard I knew it for me😂😂 needed that reality check that I need to work harder in the connection as well
I think I need a monthly delulu checkpoint, or even better weekly😂 I'm so damn delulu these days because I'm single, lonely and the guys I'm interested in aren't interested in me
Leaning towards 3 initially but I felt drawn to listen to 2 first. Generally both of them together feels like a timeline difference.😂 Just need to check myself every now and then that I match the energy of the present. What he is giving out and what the vibes are. We get along well except one major thing (he is part of a cult) and at some point in the years to come he will wake up but it's going to take a huge thing to happen before that does so I need to wait and be patient and consistent 🎉
I am always here for the delulu checkpoints! ❤
Thank you spirit! She’s perfect
Group number 1, and I had my huge crush Khabib Nurmagomedov in mind (sport celebrity) The most unavailable man there is. Yes I am a bit sad over The fact that he doesnt really puts in the effort to pursuit me😜
Pile 2, omg 100% Every word was absolutely true. Down to him being a Pisces.
I rejected him bc I was mad, regretted it, tried to get back with him, then he rejected me. 😢 I've tried reaching out again and no response. And no response is a response. 💔
But thank you for the confirmation ❤
Thank you for your vision, your hands and your beautiful heart.
Random number generation picked Pile 1. we met in a FB group years ago and recently have been dating. he's emotionally unavailable - childhood, divorce and more. HIs finances are in the tank as is his career. He's raising his teens on his own, one of whom is autistic and the kids were always around us. we rarely spent time alone then his former wife reappeared after years of not seeing the kids. He hid his finances etc and was tight lipped so I had conversations and didn't see change (although he offered me a relationship), i left. He told me he's working on himself. He needs to work on himself. I want him to be better for himself. I've interrupted his path long enough to show him what he needs to open up to. He's Pisces Sun and Venus and I'm Libra Sun and Venus. I want to listen to Pile 3 also.
This is crazy. I picked pile 1 and its par on par with my situation. Currently trying to let go someone that causes me confusion and frustration. We barely know each other yet he's willing to hang out only the two of us. That was enough to give me hell of confusion. He said he doesn't want relationship and im fine being friend but even so he lacks of contacts with me and at most we just share eye contact. There's always tension underneath and it's tiring. And he is indeed someone from my workplace so we see each other often. So i always wonder if me thinking there's some spark between us is just my delusional thoughts.
I really needed this today ❤ like perfect timing on this because I been waiting for you to pop up with another reading 😂
Pile 2: I can’t believe I legit found this on yt while I’m having a 🍃smoke and I was drawn to pile 2 before I even realised there’s a leaf behind her 😂😂😂😂 ain’t no way man 😂😂
the way i was singing to myself yesterday "delulu checkpointttt!" ahaha
pile3
2 - can’t remember how many times I went towards him so he would be comfortable to communicate with me, as I sens he’s nervous around me… yet seems to me like it works only for a time before he retracts into himself, don’t see him and even sometimes acts as if I’m not here 🤨 my feelings are getting hurt, how can I move towards him like that.. then we go back to we watch each other and don’t move forward. I’m exactly how you described at the beggining, despite all of these thoughts I still try to make some efforts yet he turns his head whenever I look at him 😂 hell no sir. I give many chances until I decide it’s enough, if they have a ego I have my pride. I don’t get how many times I will have to endure this same situation with men. They want the princess treatment I guess. It’s not even me who showed my interested in the first place, why they can’t leave me alone if they know they won’t come towards me with real intentions. I was fine by myself 😤
Anyways, I love straight to the point and honest readings. I guess people who come for tarot readings should take responsability and be ready to hear some harsh truth instead of thinking they will hear only what they want to, that’s how it is even if general readings messages don’t apply to everybody. It’s tricky but we still hear some guidance.
Pile 3 😅😅❤🙏🏻🤍
Thankyou so much for this confirmation
#2 Thank you for the realness. I am working on letting go... He's not what I want... I'm going to keep telling this to myself until the day I will actually move on and totally not care.
Q1. Is he going to initiate contact with me online or in person by himself?
Q2. Will I successfully move on from him if I just keep telling myself to do so?
i was just thinking that i needed this today!
Pile 2. (I also picked pile 3, and im even more confused!!) love your readings and you’ve always been accurate to me but now im confused. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way and maybe I’m exposing myself for being a dumb bitch. 😅
But the whole time I was in a connection with them I was watching your videos as we do have problems with communication and the whole time the readings would basically lead to the same message that I need to be in “Empress” mode and that I shouldn’t overextend myself. But now it’s saying I didn’t put in the work? (You definitely said that you don’t know the situation and I could’ve been putting in the work so it’s leading towards a no, which is fine!) also you were correct about me projecting my fantasy on romance onto this person. They’re definitely not the lovey type but they showed they loved and cared for me in their actions. I’ll never discredit that. I left the friendship because they definitely triggered my self esteem as they wanted to be friends. I didn’t want that and didn’t seem to want to put in effort into a friendship that passed the friendship barrier before. When I get into a committed relationship, I won’t even talk to him so why bother, right?
But Pile 3, called to me and it resonates too! I also watch your next relationship videos and even future spouse and it describes our situation to the T and it’s never a new energy. Should I just stop watching tarot? 😅😂
omg i’ve literally been dealing with the same exact thing
@@kylahjaniah what ?? how stressful has this been for you? 😫 honestly , i’m so happy I’m not the only one haha! I even do my own readings and they point towards him.
Group 2 💙🖤✨
you are always spot on for me. when the marriage happens i’m sending you an invitation😂
Before I watched the vid, just seeing the title & that there were 3 piles: I knew I was watching each one for a different person lmao
Pile 1 for a hot coworker I don’t really know & only talk to on a rare occasion since our schedules don’t match up almost ever. I was hoping to see if there could be a fwb (I guess cwb? lol) situation there. It’s fine if not, it was just a silly daydream type thing.
Pile 2 for my old high school crush, a creative Cancer man. I adored him & really felt so much with him (this was 15yrs ago lmao) and to this day, I still imagine conversations with him in my mind. It was always whenever I felt unloved by my ex(of almost 16yrs) and just imagined that someone would find me appealing. He never said anything, so that’s why I chose my ex anyways, lol. My ex showed immediate interest and wanted to be with me, and the feeling when I first saw him was unlike anything I’ve ever felt before; in my mind I thought ‘he is mine, and I am his.’ It only took 15yrs to realize womp womp, nope. My ex always left me in silence, and I’d always yearn and hope for the days of my old Missy’s Mondays phone calls @7pm with my old friend Mr Cancer. I miss our conversations deeply, maybe just someone to talk to in that way, a someone who could be something more. I asked about him because I wanted to know if there could be more to our story. I’ve seen his updates on social media; he’s kinda getting himself together like I am. I keep imagining that after I achieve this one goal, that I message him and we meet up, just see where things go. It’s funny how the few words I’ve read from his profile still sound the way he does in my mind, the version of him I’ve delulu’d by my mental side lmao.
So…who is my Pile 3? Well, you see. I’ve dubbed him my Catalyst. Something I can’t explain happened back in August 2023, like a light switch went off and I couldn’t stop thinking about my life with my then bf, and it hit me SO hard: I didn’t love him and I didn’t want to be with him anymore. So I left, lmao. And since have been slowly, more slowly than I’d like but I am accepting of it; I have been improving my life, doing things I’d never thought I could. I’ve never met my Catalyst and constantly question if it’s even him in that weird IG page that I once would chat with in the dms. I completely broke off contact with him and had my page private because of an incident earlier this year. See I was in vacay, and I took a vacay within that vacay, all in hopes of actually meeting him & seeing if he really was this important person in my life. At the time, I imagined he was my TF, but have since completely rejected that idea; I am thankful and acknowledge him as solely my Catalyst for my growth and change towards a better life. Still. I wanted to meet him, see if maybe we could connect, not sex, but certainly some form of ..idk, comfort? Affection? Mm. It didn’t happen; there was no way to communicate with him so I never knew if he even knew I was there. I do believe he did. But oh well. A dream I had after really sealed the deal for me that meeting him was just a silly fantasy going forward. A month & half later, I found out that on that day where I had tried to meet him, or had hoped to meet him…he met up with some waif beautiful young blonde and clearly did Something with her, idk for sure, but it was obvious. And that hurt so much, to think this person who I cared so much for just disregarded me for temporary carnal desires. It’s fine, you know, he’s not mine. It’s not the act that bothers me; it’s the timing, and it made me completely block him off. Yet here I am, still drawn in and curious, always getting the same messages from different readers from different years/months/cards. I want to be his friend, nothing more, if we could even manage to ever meet, idk anymore. Did I mention I haven’t had any sort of intimacy for 10yrs, lmao omg?! I’m not saving myself or anything like that, it’s a thing I’m still healing from- my ex always said I wasn’t in shape, I needed to be the one to initiate. It hurt & I felt so undesirable. My sis in law told me before I left to my vacay that I should be prepared to get different answers from what I was seeking. After I returned, she said ‘you put in all this effort, but where was his? There has to be equal give and take.’ It was triggering, and it only hit me now thinking about it that that’s what it was last year with my ex, too. We were on a vacation where I had paid for everything, and even bought a pretty yellow lace bra for a much needed fun time. after the concert, at the hotel, I showed it off, and he smiled and said, ‘it’s very pretty, and you’re very pretty, but I drank tonight so I can’t.’ And it was devastating. A rejection I was so used to but still so hopeful of something else, something more. He only had one drink, same as I, and it was at the beginning of a two hour concert. I didn’t argue, just got on my separate queen bed and listened to music as he went out for a smoke. So a parallel event, a denial of affection on a vacay, and it really messed me up.
Which is where Pile 1 comes in. He’s really cute, and we have a decent vibe. Maybe something could come of that, really just something physical.
But that’s not really my way, not what I want to do, lol.
And with Pile 3, I just feel like I’m talking to myself & I’ve gone beyond delulu into batshit cray cray land, lmfao. The silence is very triggering for me.
So in comes the memory of Pile 2, and how I wish I could talk to him again.
I’m sorry I’ve just ranted about all my madness here. There’s so much more I could tap about but I know y’all ain’t gonna read that, lmao, and honestly same. I’ll keep watching, lol, for the interesting messages, all the while knowing I’m probs just living in a cray fantasy.
In time I know it’ll pass and I’ll get over this.
Wish it were like my ex and how I very quickly was able to release him after waking up to how miserable I had been for so many of those 15 years.
Thank you for reading all that, if you did. I love your videos and especially love giggling when you’re like ‘bitch!’ lol! Awesome videos that I love watching during my lunch break (did I mention I work overnight?) and that always provide excellent guidance and messages.
Pile 2❤❤❤
Head bop group 😂🎉 Totally my husband 😂😂😂 Resonates to the bone 😂 This message came exactly when I needed it ❤️
HEAD BOP GROUP IM DONE 😂😂😂😂😂😂 so glad you enjoyed the reading! 💖
4:30 beginning pile 1 6:20 accurate
I'd be de lu lu to even consider being in "a relationship" with anyone as as option at this point. 😅 I'll watch anyway tho 😂 😄 Pile #2. Yep! Resonates!
Edit: We had a storm come through today. I haven't heard anything from him in nearly 2 weeks. I texted him today just to say that I hope he's OK and that I was ok. I reached out to him last time. He was cold as ice. Yeah, it is time that I let this go. I never wanted a relationship in the traditional sense. Yeah, he's probably blocked me. It wouldn't surprise me.
The same. We will move on.