I'm self diagnosed at 42 taken me years to find out ive always thought I was different it all makes sense you've just described me and my life perfectly the videos are great thanks...
22 aspie girl here, diagnose at 17. But i was diagnose by accident, i was treating other things (long story) im currently enganged to by boyfriend and he really understands me even though sometimes i get really anxious (i really bother me whem im in my internal world and he keeps asking me if im.ok, that i look distant,angry, sad... no!just in my world!) But thanks to your videos (im mean really) i understand much much better this neurological thing and i can carry on better, even though... now i realise so many things of my past and... its really sad like... if i would have been diagnose earlier... oh by the way... in my family, only my bro knows about it ... I just... i dont know if I should say it... or keep it... i just... i cant find the words...i just dont want let them know... but deep inside i think that they would understand me better. The anxiety its really strong when im with them and they just say that i am grumpy... it hurts ...
The Aspie World thats funny because it went defrent for me.. I went to docters and it was hard for them to tell i had aspergers because of every thing else i had and i still did things like.. Scream when i ate hot food and throw up when i ate ham buger meat and nuggets. And more. I say having these dis abilities are realy a better vision of the world and how cruel it is. And how great it can be
The Aspie World My 14yrs old Aspie son is hyper focused on movies, video games, and TH-cam videos. He loves to compare one thing to another, say one type of movie to another type of movie. He even has a tendency to talk through a movie, so I tell him to be quiet and not be rude during a movie.
To me silence is often a blessing in disguise in a lot of social situations. Even with small talk more often than not for me conversations seem to come down to a competition of getting your point across. It’s exhausting. Especially with people who aren’t used to dealing with contrarian thought. I don’t won’t to have to pretend like I agree with people all the time just to get along with them.
My husband and step daughter have aspergers. All accurate! My husband doesn’t know how to do small talk... but it has never stopped him from talking to strangers..instead he launches into in-depth, intense conversations with strangers and skips small talk all together.
Leigh-Erin Davis my aspie hubby and does the same! My aspie daughter moreso memorises small talk and kind of reels it off from memory, but if the small talk deviates from the norm she gets in a bit of a pickle bless her xx
Exactly! I've always hated small talk, because I didn't know how to start a conversation without feeling weird, but I tend to just bare my heart and soul to about anyone who would listen. Now that time has passed, I've had several people ask me why I talk about my past, isn't some things embarrassing, but I never got what they meant by that. In general I'll avoid social scenarios, but when I'm in them I can't shut up once a conversation starts. They're gonna know I'm adopted, whatever new facts I've learned recently, and some foreign news stories for sure.
I tend to obsess about a particular subject until all the information I can acquire starts becoming repetitive and then I lose all interest and move on to another subject and repeat the whole process over and over again
I usually end up focusing on something for awhile and then dropping it and then coming back to it sometimes with just as much intensity. Some things I never drop.
I’m very much like this!!! I thought I was strange for this but I find something or a hobby I obsess become really knowledgeable and then I lose interest and I’m on to the next one
I'm 72, and I've wondered all my life why I couldn't fit in, keep a job, why I offended people so often, can't stand small talk (although I've learned how to do it enough to get by), need my rituals and routines, why smells are so important, why I only ever had one friend (and then she died), and on and on. I read a book called the "Kiss Quotient" and it opened this door for me. I am so excited to be creeping up on others who might be more like myself.
Have you ever experienced being with a group of people who chat with each others (in real life) and you think you found the right moment to talk but people will ignore you as if you weren't there at all and just keep on chatting with each others? Because that happens to me all the time and it makes me mad because I believe people are doing this to exclude me but then again, I have no idea how I'm coming across. Eventually I will say something in the lines of "excuse me, may I talk?" but this is even more awkward.
s125ish Yeah, sure, of course, that's what I think too. But when is the time to talk, then? Never? I'm talking about casual conversation here, not serious discussions. My theory is that these conversations are often a social competition and my awkward insecurity makes me a candidate for immediate disqualification.
Mathead - That happens to me also, and I don't have Aspbergers or autism. Perhaps they are too concentrated on their subject or perhaps they are just "bad people". I don't know, but it really isn't fun when it happens. 😢
i think that when this happens to us, we've said something that doesn't lead naturally to response in the conversation. I think that the way we express ourselves, we're signalling a break point, for a NT. I've learned a trick that I think works will with my aspie traits. I'll listen for someone to say something that sounds like it can lead to something interesting, or simply just to give them more to talk about, and ask them about it. For instance someone may mention that their dog was barking and kept them up last night. So this is an invitation to ask some questions about their pets. At this point, I've become part of the conversation, and that person in answering the question, is now talking to you. Because people like to talk about themselves, this makes it easier for us aspies. You can keep them talking. And because You are listening, they will grow to like you.
@Klaa2 early negative experiences in the 'game' can leave people hiding out on the sidelines, in the crowd, or even leaving the stadium. however, this is no fun. the fears must be overcome. i do though have empathy for those who have been scarred/scared by life. most of my existence has been one coping mechanism after another, they serve a function for a while until they dont. meeting the world without armour is dangerous. yet the armour is heavy and restricts movement/freedom. hurt people need a safe space to unfurl themselves first, so they can gain confidence in their own skin. they must also learn that the judgements of others are not scientific facts. they are hypotheses based on insufficient evidence and are open to challenge. confidence can be shattered over time, or even in one or two painful experiences. it takes time for that confidence to regrow like a lizards leg. some thoughts.
I am a parent, a partner, a loved one and a healthcare provider AND I also an autistic! Most of my life I was completely unaware and just thought people hated me for some unknown reason. I am so grateful for this community and TH-camrs like you. You’ve seriously changed our lives in big big ways! Thank you!
I was diagnosed with aspergers at age 32. I was so relieved because I used to think that I was weird because I'm a bit different. I'm proud to have aspergers.
@@madhut3042 diagnostic testing for adults with ASD hasn’t really been established as of yet; and not many providers specialize or offer testing for adults. You might check with a psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, or a neurologist to see what they can do for you. If they don’t feel qualified to evaluate you, ask for a neuropsychology referral.
When I sometimes make eye contact with people I almost feel like a deep energy connection that makes me avoid further eye contact..idk maybe I'm just weird
Yeah it can be pretty intimidating. I don't have aspergers but even I was afraid of eye contact once. You just gotta force it. Remember to smile slightly so that they'll be at ease
I am a 63 yr old grandmother. These videos finally help me figure out why I always thought something was wrong with me. Your videos are very informative. Thank You !
I'm so very glad you have answers. I know what a relief it was to find out I have adhd and was only diagnosed a year ago after seeing people who think like me, especiallyother women, I got tested. I'm 43... my boyfriend is just learning about Asperger. He's 54. I feel bad about somethings I'd given him a hard time about before I knew more. I'm so grateful for TH-cam.
@Lucas Milito Are you seriously suggesting that the herbs have cured ASD? because it is a neurological condition & therefore a person lives with it instead of 'curing it' as this is impossible.
I was recently diagnosed and I’m 32! You can’t imagine the hardship I went through, thinking I was the weirdest person in the world, until a friend told me that I have signs of ASD. I went to see a doctor/psychiatrist, and sure enough!!!!! It was a warm feeling to know I wasn’t alone!!!
Hi. I'm very glad and thankful that you're willing to share your knowledge and experiences with ASD. I'm a mom, with lower level of social skills. Not sure of any diagnoses for myself, but, I can really relate and it sounds like your describing my social experiences quite spot on. I recently had my adopted son tested for ASD as I suspected it since he showed early signs of Sensory processing issues. So, I've had him in early intervention programs since he was 12 months to 3 years old and maybe all through grade school. What struggles we had!! I wished I could say we've gotten through the worst but, he's starting high school soon, and of course I'm worried but, always hopeful and praying for him to have at least 2 good friends. I just wished people would be kind all the time. Thanks.😊
@@vanessabeaton the self employment is so me. I need to find another way to support myself because i cant work for too long. It drains me. Im 32 now and everything is making sense now why i feel weird. I always wanted to be alone ALL THE TIME
i piss off strangers sometimes because i dont know when to talk so i cut them off or stop talking and i have problems ending a conversation and i just talk about whatever is on my mind lol
Well, keep in mind that the "rules" they have for "appropriateness" are completely arbitrary, not fixed. So keep on doing exactly as you have been. It's fine. If someone doesn't like that, too bad !!
I find if difficult to start conversations too because every time I start a conversation with a stranger? They look at me like I stepped on their puppy.
You don't make eye contact with people because you're afraid to "weird them out" and you weird them out because you don't make eye contact. Then you hate yourself for not being able to make eye contact, which just makes it harder to make eye contact in the future, because it instills in you that you're "abnormal". You also dominate a conversation, while making this shit non-eye contact, and eventually, you just find that no one fucking likes you... Which just contributes to your eye contact staying nonexistent. Well, that's my version of hell, anyway. Yours may vary.
i cant hold a conversation more than 5 seconds unless someone else controls the conversation and i dont know how to talk most of the time but i can recognize non verbal signals in people, if you asked me to provide feedback about a movie ive seen 20 times i wouldnt know how, i also lack empathy . IS THAT ASPERGERS????
I'm the opposite with small talk, I treat everybody like my best friend. I'm beginning to feel like a stupid arsehole. I'm above average intelligence, but I don't seem to fit in anywhere, except with kids, cats and dogs. They all love me
@Karen Lee I do how old you are but maybe moving isnt the worst idea. Finding a tribe might be easier near a larger city where there are Aspie groups to join & special interest and hobby groups. Even going to an Aspie convention Or event could be a gateway to meeting more supportive people. ❤💛💚💙💜
Craig I know more than one pre-k or Kindergarten teacher who's on the spectrum. They are so great at their job and really have wonderful accepting classrooms - the kids love it!
I'm a dental student and I just want to learn as much as I can because I want any and all patients that come in my door to feel as comfortable as possible with me. I appreciate what you're doing and how you're allowing us all to learn from you and your experiences!
I wish all health providers were like you. I've had some really good ones and some who just couldn't understand even after I TOLD them, that you can't just come up behind me and touch me on the head, and that if you talk fast I can't follow you .
Dwalksauce... I'm a dental assistant and I've worked for dentists who express strong asperger's symptoms, etc. This may sound kinda dumb now, but treat your staff very well. Be mindful of who you're hiring and how you're treating them and whatever your personal limitations are, your assistants can smooth over with patients.
Yay! For me...just warmth. Like when they smile and are friendly and just fill you in about what to expect and ask if you have any questions. General friendliness. If someone seems dour I just like they hate me. Also...not whispering or making it seem like they might be gossiping because I always worry they are talking about me with their eyes and just laughing behind my back. Upfront polite. Oh.. Not being warm and then suddenly quiet or reserved. That is worse than being cold all the way through When I see that someone emotionally shifts all of sudden...especially when I have just spoken...that causes anxiety. And also honesty helps. Like if someone is having a bad day and is in a bad mood...I get it. If they say that...I know to not take it personally. But if I think they are otherwise happy with others but then are quiet or ignore me or seem cold...I get very stressed inside. Blunt honesty, humour, not giving odd looks...just engaging.
i got told in a job interview that i had a dead pan facial expression and no confidence because i struggled making eye contact only briefly then look away
People have told me that my entire life, it's very annoying. When someone tells me to smile I just want to say no and slap them across the face. I always thought that would be awkward if I were to walk around with a smile on my face. People would say " what are you smiling about.
@@aprils5881 this is me to a T! & then I can agonise for days over it, feeling I absolutely humiliated myself, have shared way too much personal information to someone inappropriate.
Hi there! I’m a teacher in special education and teach in a collaborative setting with 3-4 year old students…many with Autism. I know I’m an Aspie, but have never been diagnosed! Everything you say is so awesome and helps me know myself so much better! I’m going to retire this year and in my sixties! I have been “different” all of my life! But, I am so happy now because in the last few years there is so much more information out there that differentiates the many levels of Autism! You are an Angel for helping others see themselves, but also be able to express acceptance and a sense that it is ok! It’s ok and brilliant to have Asbergers!
So this guy at my old job was super cute. Everyone in the office thought he was just weird and anti social. He’d never make small talk, wouldn’t really talk to anyone and was always by himself. I suspected he might have Aspergers or something similar. Anyways, I had a crush on him but I swear every time I’d make an attempt to talk to him he’d just ignore me and pretend I wasn’t there. Others in the office tried being friends with him but he didn’t seem interested in making friends. One day he got up in the middle of work, yelled he was quitting and never returned. I felt bad for him because he probably felt no one understood him but the truth is, someone cared for him a lot and he never gave anyone a chance to get close to him.
OHHHHHHHHH GOD small talk is hell for me. I keep smiling awkwardly and saying things that make no sense at all, then spend the following hours super agitated and cringing at everything I said and did. Now, you probably don't remember me but I commented on previous videos and last week I talked a lot to my psychologist about Aspergers and I am going to a psychiatrist next month and hopefully we're getting in the way of getting a diagnosis. And your channel has been a huge part of that, so thank you
The worst is when someone's talking about something horrible saying, "it doesn't make sense" And then you in your problem-solving nature share input on what could have caused it and what people might have been thinking: Then they think that you "know too much" and are projecting the same evil. Smh...
I have come across so many acquaintances who have undiagnosed aspergers. I can spot signs very quickly now and wonder how they aren't aware. I think aspergers is more common than believed.
I'm not surprised! A ton of my friends (who are integral to our friend group) check all the aspie boxes. Without exception, their social awkwardness is more than made up for by their sincerity of character and depth of knowledge about their interests. Always fun to hang with, as long as you understand that certain things, like subtle facial cues or sarcasm, might fly over their heads and adjust accordingly 😊
I'm 80 yrs old. I'm pretty sure my sister had undiagnosed Aspergers. I probably have a couple of symptoms. I think my daughter and granddaughter have some symptoms. At 80 I just found a boyfriend 3 mos ago. I'm sure he has it too. Watching these videos help me understand what and how he thinks. It's different than me and the general norm. He has all 9 of the symptoms you talk about and I have one of them.Thank you for posting.
I'm a parent who believes his child is an extremely high-functioning Aspie. I find that it's not the Aspergers that is the main issue, but the affect the symptoms have on one's life that could lead to depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
I like this site. I figured out I had autism symptoms about 10 years ago and I'm age 70. My granddaughter has it, but she is high functioning. Just has problems speaking, just as I did at her age. My son-in-law also is on the spectrum. He is a professor at a university medical school. I'm having an easier time communicating now, since my neighborhood is very friendly, and most of my hangups about people talking behind my back or any other such nonsense, which would have bothered me in the past, just doesn't concern me now. I still dread going to events, but once there, I'm fine. Hope this helps someone.
Hi! I’m 45 & thus far undiagnosed...”they” (behavioral health ppl & their ilk), have somehow pigeonholed me as someone who has bipolar disorder. I don’t believe that’s accurate, though. I’m a 45 yo female. When I was in college, I asked my mother, over & again, “was I ever diagnosed w ANY sort of learning disability?” Tbh, I still have “imaginary friends,” & that might be foolish, but here we are, right? My mother never answered my questions sufficiently, although I’ve typically been “late to the show” on nearly every developmental milestone since I was very young. I’ve become a “classic (social) chameleon,” I guess. Thinking back, I watched all the gen-x pop-culture films and I actually remember trying to “become” whoever I decided was my favorite, or at least the strongest, character in those films. I guess I’m kind of a “professional” masker...that sucks bc I’ve never quite been able to identify just “who I am.” I mean, I remember asking friends for advice on how to become a “laidback person.” I’ve asked peers about what “balance” means in their lives to the end of achieving that myself... it’s frustrating, but even without an actual diagnosis, I’m fairly sure of where I stand. I’m definitely on the spectrum...I believe that especially now that I’ve taken some time to do research. I’ve never cared for psychiatry professionals, or even having therapists. I’ve never trusted those people for whatever reason. Maybe someone out there could be helpful-I’ve not found them yet... I’m not sure whether I’ll continue my search. Anyway, I’m given to ramble on in my comments & maybe this is an ok place to do that-I have old friends who live 2,000 miles away who have stopped communicating w me bc “sometimes (my) texts are overwhelmingly long,” & they’re “too busy,” “too tired,” too...”whatever” to take the time to respond. Now that I’m “just becoming myself,” no one seems to have the time for me & who I am. That makes me sad. I try hard to feel comfortable in my own company & I’ve done well w that so far. (Here’s where I apologize for the length of my comment; I never expect that anyone would ever read all these words, but thanks for the space to vent a little bit.) ☮️
I'm the mom of a 5 year old girl who has recently been diagnosed with aspergers. And i often worry so much about what her adult life will be like, but by seeing you and how well you're doing and learning how to help her deal with the world, i'm positive that she will be fineeeee! Thank you
Freja I wish my parents would watch videos like this to Learn what I’m going through they just think it makes me shy! It’s a lot more I get sensory overload and when I am stimming my parents make fun of me and sometimes call me stupid
Lunar Gem this makes me so sad to read. It’s never okay to make fun of your kids! If stimming helpes you feel calmer I think it’s awesome! And if you have great ideas on how to feel less stressed it’s super too. I’m not diagnosed but I still stimm, always have and I’m a 34 year old mom who works quite ok in society. Much love! 💕🌈
It's hard to have a job with it expectly in retail she will be good in office job setting. Retail will stress her out a lot and become overwhelm. It might help her through out the years but if you focus on a office job or tech job something away from people than she'll be fine. Teaching her how to be independent will help a lot. So credit cards and saving would be a big help. It does though get worse unfortunately but she will still be able to function like anyone else but may be a little mute from the world. Shy and quite at times some things will spark her interest and she'll talk for hours about it. Growing up Pokemon and video games help. Puzzles are great and drawing. Some of the things I like. I'm almost 30 but I am still living with my mom soon to find a place for myself Im scared to death but as long as my mom is there for me I'll be fine I also have help from others.
Self-diagnosed 2 years ago after seeing a documentary on adult women on the spectrum. Made so many things in my life make sense. Watching that doc was so weird, it was like someone was describing my entire life and personality. Since then I have discovered a whole community of adult women like myself, and we all celebrate and commiserate together. I really found a place where I feel like I naturally belong.
I don't mind talking to a stranger about something meaningful, or relevant/important to immediate surroundings. But "Hi, hello, nice weather" is pointless, boring and an unnecessary waste of time & energy. When you have something important to say, I'll listen and engage. Otherwise, I will probably ignore the person.
I mean, anything conversation is worth something since it keeps autistics from isolating themselves and helps them become more social. I am dealing with something where I just can't help but getting into arguments with others. It's natural for me to engage the jerk that gets on my nerves but likely not healthy.
That is, unless you are obsessive about weather, and studied minute details about since the person was nine (like myself) and any book I could get my hands on about it. Then a person has only opened a "whole new can of worms" to comment about the weather. LOL. Only thing is, it was not the only subjects I got wrapped up in as a kid. Other "ologies" besides meteorology. I always felt like I had two lives. One I spent isolated dwelling on the subjects at hand, and not really getting on well with people, and the life I spent muddling through conformity so I could get back to my subjects and isolation.
Franklin Taylor what if you are not good at what you are studying or change hobbies sporadically that it gets annoying to the person you are around? It is like talking about the weather one minute to you changing the subject quickly to politics when the person wants to talk about the weather and doesn't feel comfortable discussing politics.
Hellbound Iscariot I can shift and if it is a subject I know little about, I have learned to be honest. Saying well, I don't know about it. Decent or healthy people understand. Politics are a very touchy subject you probably shouldn"t talk to just anyone about LOL!
My doctor wrote Asperger's Syndrome in my card once when I was like fifteen, then I got some antidepressants to help me "open up" (I had severe social anxiety). During that time, I learned to avoid situations I couldn't handle like small talk, ordering things in restaurants (I only go there with someone who does the talking for me)... and then not my doctor or my psychiatrist mentioned Asperger's ever again... And my family started to think it's not Asperger's, that I'm just really shy... Be it AS or not, I stutter when I talk to strangers, and I talk much too fast and disorganized with people I know a lot... I don't get how people just start talking about random things, I don't get how they make and keep friends, and I really want to share my favourite things with people, but they are always so annoyed... Just wanted to tell someone. :)
You communicate well, via the written word. Maybe you could focus on that. Best to you. A lot of brilliant people have been "different." Nothing wrong with different.
I feel when a doctor feel something wrong like Asperger's they want to close the books on that by asking you,, " do you want to kill yourself ", . Most people automatically say, " no " which automatically would end a doctors appointment. They don't want to deal with Asperger's and they by law have to know your emotional state of mind. Asperger's is not an emotion. If you talk well, non violent and seem nice , to most people you are doing well even though you are dealing with Asperger's inside your head.
This is the best explanation of aspergers I’ve ever seen. Everyone thinks that we are all monotone sociopaths. But we are not. We just struggle. I have adhd aspergers and ocd. I relate so much to this guy
The imagination thing is definitely not a universal thing. It is more common in girls to be highly imaginative, but expressing it is more complicated. You've listed very typical male stuff but by the time women have grown up they have frequently taught themselves to avoid some things by rote i.e. I memorized small talk cues and I have a rota I can run through in my head of what is "expected" of me in such scenarios. It isn't natural, or comfortable, but I put on a very good concealment play.
I'm a proud parent! 🙋🏼 And yes so true my son can be rude to people at times. But not intentionally. He's just expressing himself out loud. For example when guest would come over and visit, he would come out of his room and say ... "what are you doing here? who invited you? how long are you gonna stay here? " So over the years I've learned to give him plenty of information before hand. To avoid any rude outburst. I've learned that if you explain everything ahead of time and prepare him things work out better. For everyone.
I'm dating a man on the spectrum and I absolutely love him dearly. I want nothing more then to understand him and how he thinks. I've a child with Down syndrome who displays unusual behaviour so I feel I'm open to various behaviors outside the social norm. Your videos are helping me a lot.
I’m a grandmother with a 2 1/2 year old grandson who is about to be evaluated for Autism. I’m trying to learn as much as possible to be “prepared”. He has so many signs of it and I want to advocate for him and make sure that he has every advantage possible...that boy is my every breath!
Obsess over his neurological tissue health and its going to be a stupidly unfair advantage. A lot of people take for granted the brain slows with age typically. The world has very interesting facts hidden in plain sight. People like us have the highest batting average to figuring that out.
@@bakerfritz4681 If only you knew the power of white matter precursory. NZT 48 exists. Thats why it sounds like ends ET ford he ate. To ford that river takes a certain kind of person to appreciate that a brain is basically at the end of the day just a biological computer. The truth is we also probably arent the only let alone wisest animal or sentience in this universe. Just because we dont immediately recognize them doesnt mean we are special snowflakes.
@@bakerfritz4681 Ill put it like this so its less cryptic. A healthier neurology leads to better memory. People underestimate their environmental exposures. Like black mold. Nearly impossible to avoid. Lots of damage costs pressuring people to call it an allergy. It might as well be sarin nerve agent, and its growing in our vents. This is just one insidious reality. Remember most people have no concept of what health is. Its a little more sophisticated a problem than going to the gym and eating healthy or taking a vitamin is going to necessarily cut it for. Its variable mostly because if you arent obsessed about it, then you probably arent going to appreciate it through to the long term gain.
I relate to most of these items but it may not always be easy to spot an Aspie in social situations right away. Many learn to “mask” and learn basic rules of social interaction enough to get by. It’s not until you get to know them a bit better you realize something is a bit “off”.
Yes! This! My son is 17 and has learned to mask it so well! It is after you get to know him, that you realize he says basically the same thing when in a group or social situation. He is very good at putting a big smile on his face and pretending he is not uncomfortable, but deep down he is wanting to run away from the entire situation. Everyone argues with me that he does not have Asperger’s until they really get to know him and see some of his behaviors, habits, and how he acts socially.
Totally on the spectrum here. I'm 27 and this has made so many things make sense. I definitely have "tics" that I've always done. Never been a social person & never wanted many friends. Always wanted as much time to myself as I could get. Don't do well in social settings & I rarely try and even talk since it never goes well. Anxiety, depression, it's all there. For me though the biggest thing is being focused on certain things, becoming obsessive over certain topics. I too am huge on UFO, paranormal, supernatural, odd things as well as true crime & history, and I've spent hours upon hours on here watching videos related to that, reading books, etc. It's like I'll learn about a popular crime I never knew about & I'll have to research it until I turn blue. Same with the UFO & supernatural stuff. It doesn't help having tons of free time at home either. I can't say it's a bad thing though, I enjoy these topics, but there's definitely a line there where it could become unhealthy. I have so many of the signs, though. Totally explains my entire life. Even if there's no cure it feels good to know why I am the way I am and that I'm far from alone in this. Wow. Mind=blown. Now I'll be researching Aspergers until midnight though lol
You just described my life. Especially the musician part. I was bullied all through school and dropped out of uni multiple times due to the social aspect. Only ever made friends through music. I'm 43 and just lost my job because of my "lack of empathy or compassion" and a pattern of "failed communications". I have now started the diagnosis procedure through Embrace Autism (Dr. Natalie Engelbrecht).
I’m 37 years old and just learned that I might have undiagnosed Asperger’s. I’m devastated. A lot of things are starting to make sense now. I’ve always felt “different” and like I’ve had imposter syndrome.
Why devastating? You actually haven’t changed at all, simply your awareness - and why is deeper awareness bad?? I’d think it would be interesting to understand yourself better. I certainly do.
The aspie world, do you have difficulty imagining/planning for the future? When people ask me what am I going to do in 5 -10 yrs time, my mind just draws a blank and I get anxious.
The mind isn’t where we experience emotion Bc it’s the data center -your gut feelings and intuition are your soul. The soul is energy and essence and is intact and our bodies are the “home” in which our soul resides in the body.
I usually can give such a detailed breakdown that it'll bore them to tears and they'll interrupt and/or change the subject, leaving me with a bunch of racing ants in my head, trying to put the pieces all back on their shelves.
@@cchevy936 Your emotions come from the limbic system and your "intuition" is actually implicit memory, which comes from the cerebellum, basal ganglia and motor cortex. There is no evidence or proof of the existence of a "soul", as of current.
so i'm 30, i have no friends, completely isolated had a drug problem, heroin. clean now, but was always "gifted" and had all these huge expectations because of how smart i appeared. very good at taking tests.i've always disected conversations or leave huge text walls in reply to anything. my narrowed interests actually cycle from about 3-4 main things. and everything almost ive tried or gotten into i eventually excel at it but it is very hard coming and people just dont understand taht it takes 100% of my intention focus and determination. i've always had a hard time holding down a job, i was eventually a carpenter but now finally getting off of drugs nad being on methadone i realize how dabilitating a condition like this is. its like everyone in my life even my therapists refuses to look at the clear and obvious truth about me being autistic. he goes so far to say the reasonn i dont like to go outside is agoraphobia when its really just people. its crazy. if my parents didnt support me i would be completely screwed. they think that its just my recovery and part of being on methadone but wont accept that my long history of social anxiety, d rug abuse, rejection of people, awkwardness, crazy obsessions which at one point included the people i was in relationships with..is really just autism. my life would be completely different if they would have understood that. i mean i check all the boxes from eating the same food every day, wearing the same clothes. doing routine stuff over and over the same.being completely fine having no friends and never understood why people hang out or chill, or anything like that even to this day. is completely incredulous. btw i'm 3 years clean now, i dont smoke cigarettes and my passion beyond all everything is growing/breeding marijuana.it's my everything.it saved my life.
One thing I’m curious about (as a person with Aspergers) are the scientific explanations as to why these symptoms exist in autistic people. What makes it an “autistic” trait rather than a regular personality trait?
For aspies, it is the way the brain is wired. This is not so with neotypicals. For them, exhibiting these personalities will be more like a habit and doesn't have anything to do with cognitive deficits.
From an evolutionary-psychology perspective: Non-pathological differences in personality or behavior can often be explained as conditionally/situationally beneficial. It's beneficial for some things, but detrimental for others. Introversion, obsessiveness, hyperfocus, and preoccupation with things vs. people would be advantageous for developing technology, including military technology. This would grant a decided advantage over neighboring tribes in a highly competitive environment. Such advantages are not everything, or the majority would behave this way.
Its the next generation of the human brain folks, survival of the fittest will route out those who cannot make the speed of connection between subject matter like an aspie can..
@@northofyou33 …Detrimental, because with poor social skills and interest you would be less trusted, liked, and understood. Besides mating consequences, you were more likely to be murdered, excommunicated, or executed by your own tribe.
Does anyone either a) find they are repeating the same sounds in their head over and over again - like a person's name, a long word, etc b) find that they are extremely sensitive to sounds - I.e. find police sirens extremely disturbing or perhaps feel that everything sounds like it is the same noise level - there is no difference between quiet and loud?
Every time I go on a road trip, I have to keep my eyes out of the window because when I see signs and store names I have to break the letters down into equal parts and count the spaces and commas and find a way to make it all balance somehow and if it’s an odd amount of letters and spaces, I feel so uncomfortable 😣 I don’t know if I have aspergers, I’m just researching bc I might, but that’s just one of many thing I got to deal with.
Daverson i definitely have those problems but with the first one its small parts of songs or one part of a song and another mashed together in the wrong order. and when i talk i might be too loud or quiet and i cant tell bc i cant hear that. it just sounds like me talking normally.
Omg yes. Unintentional rudeness. One of my biggest issues. I hate making others feel upset but it happens anyway, and somewhat frequently. *less now because I tend to tippytoe around conversations, thus why I dislike having conversations with most people.* My girlfriend *who is also on the autism spectrum* and I are very blunt with each other and we both like it that way. I don't like to read between the lines or sugar coat my opinions, it just doesn't come naturally for me, and doing such things wears me out. The imagination thing. I can sometimes imagine things people tell me but it takes a lot of focus. I myself am constantly lost in my own imagination though. I also love to daydream.
I've dealt with ableist tadgers my whole life. Most of them adults. Every time I hear an autistic person call themselves an arsepiece i restrain myself from having a go. LGBTQ folk are heroes. Yet someone who takes it up the bum is a creap. I am socially awkward and talk funny. Which has often led to persecution. I then persecute right back.
Psychopaths can see him thay see me sometimes follow me arownd the store make me feel like I should leave just thay can see him coming somehow im sorry
I'll watch this in full when I can, I'm now home schooling my son because he struggled so much with the school environment. Too many sounds, distractions etc. Thank you for sharing - it's good to hear from someone else, the struggles they face as it can help us to find ways in which to help them, thank you x
I'm a 38 year old engineer and my wife is an occupational therapist. She told me years ago that I am on the spectrum but I didnt realize this was true until taking an extremely stressful job in a loud,noisy, bright and hot environment. There are triggers galore and it drains me, creates me to blow up when plans are changed at last minute and I absolutely lose it. How have I missed this for 38 years? I am obsessed with numbers and noticing trends or patterns in anything.
Recently, I had someone ask me if I was autistic. Never been diagnosed, to my knowledge at least, but I’ve been obsessing in my mind about possibly being so. Before watching this video, certain idiosyncrasies of mine do make sense to being high functioning autistic. A lot of the points I thought, relate to EVERY point you made in this video. Thank you so much for simplifying this and I’m now subscribed to your channel cause of this and I need to talk to my counselor about possibly being autistic. I’m 30 years old btw. And I also have dyslexia like you do bro! And also some mental health issues mainly Cyclothymia. Again, thank you man!!!
Ever since I moved into my own place, I have finally been able to relax and have my routine. I have a very rigid routine and I can have a meltdown if it is interrupted especially constantly or in a huge way. Growing up, it was so hard to have a routine as my family was always doing their own thing. I'll have a specific spot for the spoons in the drawer, but they'll move it around 5 different spots. In my house now, everything stays where I put it and I control my routine as much as possible. Of course my family comes to visit and I am doing everything I can to not have a meltdown as they rearrange my house and mess up my routine.
Wow. The more and more I listen to this, the harder it is for me to accept. I literally resonate with everything you’ve said and it truly hits home. How could I have gone undiagnosed all this time at 37 years old? I feel like I’ve been hit by a freight truck.
I don’t tend to have trouble regarding small talk with strangers because of my Pure O. The only time my brain isn’t running in circles at 100mph is when I’m talking out loud so that literally gives me some peace of mind. For me, it’s so much easier to talk to someone that I know I’m never going to see again rather than someone I know because the pressure of being judged for saying something wrong isn’t as intense. Once it becomes a social situation with a familiar person, the situation flips entirely and I completely freeze up.
I'm a behavioral science major and my sister who is 14 was just diagnosed this week with asperger's syndrome and I really appreciated your insight because it helps significantly in my career and ability to understand my sisters actions and thoughts. Thank you for using your platform to educate people on these topics!
Hi. When I was 16 I was diagnosed ADD. Recently my adult daughter and her children were diagnosed asbergers and while researching, I quickly suspected I might have it as well. I was tested and tested high on the spectrum. Now I am learning things about myself I always found confusing.
living with asperger's has been difficult for me and this Dr imenherbal I meet on channel makes me feel great that someone knows what my life is like ..
SO helpful, thank you for your channel! My wife & I are so glad we came across your videos today. My wife, at age 64, was recently diagnosed with Asperger's. What a relief for her; looking back on her life she now understands & sees how much Asperger's played a part ! She had been putting herself down, thought she was a wierd or bad person ...all those years from childhood & Grade school onward. We will be watching MORE of your vids & hitting 👍 "LIKE" as well as sharing them with family & friends on Facebook. God BLESS ya !
Very happy to hear about your wife's diagnosis and new sense of self-acceptance! I'm age 60 and decided only the other day that I want to have a diagnosis as I've always suspected I'm on the spectrum. There's nothing more beautiful than to finally understand why we are who we are and be to able to fully embrace that and live life in a way that makes sense to a person with Asperger's.
I’m watching this video because I think I can have asberger syndrome. Since I was a little kid I have always felt that I was different from everyone else, that no one saw the world like I did. I loved to be alone and play, because then I could play like I wanted to and I just enjoyed begin alone. I hated party’s because I felt so uncomfortable around many people at the same time and I still do (I’m 26 years now). I really hate eye contacts, when someone ask me to look them straight into their eyes, it’s like pain for me. My mom many thought I was rude because I never looked her into the eyes when she talked to me even if she asked me to. I can do it if I really have to. And always when I get a new interest in something, it’s like I’m obsessed. Now for 7 years I’ve been really into Titanic, not the movie but the story and the fact about her and her sisters. People have been told me I could write a few books about what I have found out about the Titanic and her sisters. My parents don’t think that I have a diagnosis, they just think I’m little different but some teachers and a friend of mine who have asbegers can see a lot of her in me. I just realized this text will be really long ! I hope you will read it and I will give you creed if you do!
I hope you will find your answers, maybe get diagnosed. Because it can be so helpfull knowing You're not an Oddball, or weird. You might just be neuro atypical. Video's like these can be very educational.
I fall on the spectrum but my wife is the one who showed me to you and I'm glad she did. I was starting to feel clueless how I could manage myself and I think I'll learn a lot from you. Thank you for making it easier to find information on the subject, I'm starting to believe I suffer with nonverbal learning disorder and it wasn't always easy to understand things easily without it being an interest of mine.
Hi! New to your channel. I'm a teacher of English as a foreign language here in Spain. I have a Spanish student who has Aspergers and who also happens to be a brilliant engineer. He's learning to improve his English in order to pass interviews to get a job in Ireland, the Netherlands or Belgium. Once I knew about his Aspergers, it became my priority to learn more about this and to make his classes tailor-made to his condition. I also understand that most people know very little about this condition, so I highly encourage him constantly to mention it at the very beginning of every interview, since he's ashamed of something he shouldn't be ashamed of. Once his interviewers understand his condition, if they are intelligent enough, they'll see that his talent and experience has no boundaries. Poor man keeps getting rejected because of this and because he gets very anxious (he also has to deal with high anxiety and is medicated for this): having Aspergers *AND* having to do interviews in a foreign language. Imagine that! The guy is incredible. I really hope he gets a good engineering job soon. He really deserves it.
February 14, 2017 I married Andrew Benjamin Pearce who I did not know had Asperger's Syndrome. He disappeared from home September 20, 2017 without a word. Andrew is extremely intelligent, has a photographic memory, reads and writes in Japanese, taught his self 4 other languages as well. Andrew read a book about my BMW and knew how to repair it just from reading! Anything that has a pattern Andrew can Master! Things like musical instruments, mathematical equations, computers, cell phones, but Andy cannot drive and will not try! I believe something happened in his mind while I was away at work. I believe Andy is back living on the streets of Midwest City, Oklahoma. I'm doing all I can to locate him but this seems nearly impossible. Andy wears sunglasses so that he does not have to make eye contact. Andy was constantly confused except with me. I'm trying to learn as much as possible about his condition just in case I'm able to locate him again! Thank you so much for your TH-cam channel!
I have difficulty not just starting a short conversation, but also figuring out how to end it without leaving the other person cold. I tend to stay too long and then my mind goes blank and I slither away - awkward AF.
Damn, a lot of this sounds like me...except not being able to read emotions, I'm able to tell if people are irritated, excited, uninterested, etc. But everything else is me, spot on.
I’m an educator who has a young brother who has Asperger. I myself am legally blind. I love educating people about people who are differently-abled. Thank you for this video.
One of the things I dislike the most is randomly bumping into a person I used to know and then having to talk to them. Unexpected and unwanted social interaction, what a nightmare. I socialize more _easily_ online, though I hesitate to say "better" haha. I draw and write so I can imagine things that I have made up myself but when I'm reading books it's awful. I actually feel physically tense and frustration that manifests as an irritating sensation in the back of my head because I can't picture the characters or the scenes being described at all. I love it when movies for books come out because someone has put the world together for me so the next time I read it it will be enjoyable. I have the same problem with things like guided meditation, "Imagine you're on a beach.." me: *breaks out in a cold sweat* I'm curious about whether other people with ASD have problems with the following: Is anyone else terrible at remembering their left from right? I have found if I need to recall that info on the fly, like someone asks which direction to go for example, I always *always* get it wrong. Has anyone else had issues with learning to ride a bike and/or drive? I can't keep up between how fast everything is moving and the amount of things I have to remember to do at once. My parents attempted to teach me but I couldn't pick it up, I hated it in fact and even though I didn't want to learn to drive I was forced to. It took me 4 attempts to pass my driving test and in one of those I drove onto the wrong side of the road without realizing it LOL. I haven't driven in 12 years and never will again, it's awful.
The Aspie World I just wanted to add that my psychiatrist finally officially diagnosed me with ASD in my session today. It's a relief. 👍 I'm so glad I found your channel and can't wait for more awesome/relatable content! ❤
Im an adult with aspergers, diagnosised at 23, had struggled with feeling like i wasnt human, thought i was an alien. Suffered verbal and physical abuse as a child it mostly stopped in my early 20's but came back around 30 and has been increasing in magnitude and aggressiveness since. Currently i rarely leave my apartment out fear that everyone will attack me for no reason or for things they did. It has gone so far as to do damage to my heart from constant stress. I fight everyday now to not just end my suffering, because i used to be in awe of the world and people, but i find less and less reasons to stay here or to continue to exist
I understand you bro I’m also a Aspergers I feel like a Alien too but sometimes I’m sad but proud of what I am even though my life was a struggle with people and others I’m happy that I succeeded and I crushed those people because who are they to judge me I’m proud and I too believe you should Aspergers for life
I'm in love and in a relationship with a wonderful woman who auto-diagnosed herself with dislexia and Asperger syndrome. That's why i'm here :) Thank you so much for this video ! It helps me a lot to understand more about Asperger and understand her more!
Just a little add-on to the obsessive interests. In my last conversation with my psychiatrist about this he told me that oftentimes Asperger's tends to show differently in women, and instead of us heaving one obsessive interest, we tend to have multiple. (I know thats true for me.) That is part of why girls and young women with Asperger's tend to go un-diagnosed.
I could check most boxes here except the imagination part. I've always had a vivid imagination (extremely so as a kid/teen) and have always expressed creativity in some way or other. Social interaction is a completely learned skill for me. It didn't come natural to me at all until I was in my twenties. By then so much of my learned skills and behaviours had become ingrained and instinctual that they could come off as natural to people who don't know me.
Same. I don't have issues imagining things, books and fantasy is one of my main interests. But socializing with people I don't know can still be hard in my late 20s.
I’ve been doing a lot of research on high functioning autism and Asperger’s syndrome here lately. I’ve always knew I was different but just couldn’t really put a finger on it. I’ve always been reserved and I’ve never had friends. I’m almost 22 and I find it very hard to put myself in social situations, even with family because i tend to get a very overwhelmed and frustrated. Certain noises, too loud of noises, too many people talking to me or talking in general, when I’m not able to express the emotions I’m feeling,or when I feel like someone isn’t listening to me, all those tend to really make me feel very very “overwhelmed”. I’ve tried to explain that “overwhelmed” and “frustrated” feeling a lot to my partner but he doesn’t understand. He tells me I’m rude a lot and I never understand what he’s talking about. I never knew how to explain myself to him. I’ve mentioned to him before about this possibly being something I could have but he doesn’t think so, which is very frustrating. I’m afraid to go to the doctor in fear of them looking at me like I’m crazy but I just can’t help but feel like something isn’t right with me. And if I could get a diagnosis, then it would explain so many things about me. Any advice? My partner is the only one I’ve talked to about this.
Hey that’s super interesting. Did you see my playlist on girls and autism? It would probably be your best place to start I’ll link it at the end of the comment. Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :). th-cam.com/play/PLsnq_HpT7puSqNdqu3I___iAUAZ6GjNg7.html
I have only just received my diagnosis for aspergers and currently waiting for adhd testing. This has really opened my eyes as to actually how many traits I have that my parents didn't see, as I had an older brother had dyspraxia and aspergers.
Please I'd love to show this to my bf since all of these points fit like a glove. The awkward scripted small talk, the direct straight out dishing out of thoughts, the hyperfocus on interests. He's not diagnosed so I don't know for sure but some things start to make a lot of sense.
Yup. Talk about the weather or something superficial you have in common with that person. For example, if you're both standing in a line, you can talk about how long the line is or about the thing you're waiting for.
I find the older i get the more stronger my aspergers gets. Amazing video Dan i am so glad someone who has aspergers tell's the world how it is. If only more dr's and health professional had aspergers as only someone who has it knows what it's like.
I experience this as well. I think it's because I've spent 36 years masking and it's just catching up with me. I also think when I'm burned out it's more difficult to cope.
Wow, thanks for the video. I was diagnosed ADHD as a child and I always thought I just had sever social anxiety, but I think this might be closer. Only difference is I find I'm hyper aware of social situations, I can tell the instant someone is uncomfortable, I can tell if they had a rough morning, whatever they are feeling I feel it to but magnified to the point its overwhelming. I avoid social situations because it's to much to feel everyone else's emotions magnified plus deal with my own so I just don't. You've given me something to think about, thanks!
I remember reading different articles online and watching different videos that have basically said that with autism, sometimes it's not that you're unaware of cues and identifying emotions in social situations, but that you can be too aware of them. So if any of you feel that being too aware during socializing means you probably don't have autism, don't deny yourself because it can still be a trait! (By the way, I'm a person with ADHD and I've been researching autism in my spare time because I question if I have it myself, and I know other people with autism and I'd like to educate myself about it for them at least. )
I am always nervous when communicating. I know that I am awkward. People find I communicate funny, some like that. I feel like a 39yrs old child. I'm still stuck in the child phase where you ask a lot of questions. I need things to be precise to understand correctly.
I know what you mean since sometimes I myself need every detial before making a decision or answering, it can be tough for people that do not understand its necessary in order for myself to provide a proper answer
Don't mean to split hairs here, but Aspergers is technically no longer an official diagnosis as of the DSM-5. About five years ago, it was absorbed into the broader diagnosis of ASD or autism spectrum disorder. Don't mind me though, I can be a bit of a stickler.
You're allowing the PSYCHO-BABBLE pseudo-scientists to define or categorize things? Do NOT respect them, do NOT accept anything they have to say. They're idiots. You are you. Define yourself and ignore categorizations. There is a political aspect to these categorizations as well. Try to figure that out. Read "Brave New World" by Huxley. That may help.
You have a point. While I may not agree with every aspect of the DSM, it can be a helpful tool that people use to receive the accommodations that they need. However, I would not consider autism to define me as a person.
I totally relate to thinking about how I can take things apart & put it back 2gether. I always NEED 2 know HOW EVERYTHING works & WHY. I'm a female w/ ASD, ADHD, & OCD. I have a crazy imagination since as long as I can remember. I'm CONSTANTLY analyzing & questioning how & why things are, work, etc etc. I'm in my head 99% of the time thinking, like my brain is playing 1,000 movies all @ once. That's how I always describe it. & the obsessive need 2 want 2 know, learn, & understand EVERYTHING that crosses my mind - which is A LOT! Lol
it's amazing I can be 55 years old and just figure it out NOW. It began with general societal awareness, this year, 2024. Understanding has grown by watching your videos. I am sooo typical. I do know and understand other people's feelings - 30 years in medical field may have helped. I don't read standard body language well unless it's fairly exaggerated BUT I can read people's body if they are not feeling well, in pain or in distress, etc - again medical experience. Everything else.....almost 100% on the rest. Thank you for your great descriptions so we can understand ourselves better. Making friends has become easier as my awareness has increased and I practice typical interactions which I can tell makes others more comfortable. making friends when I was younger was very very very rare.
I think my husband may have something going on, if you could help me understand. Husband lisps and muffles his words sometimes when he's nervous, doesn't recognize social q's, can monologue and not recognize when he's not funny. He picks at his skin on occasion. Other than all that, he has a good job in plumbing and good income. He picked up on the trade very quickly. My needs are very simple and I love him very much.
I’ve wondered if I had aspergers for awhile. I’m not good with social situations at all. Never was. I got diagnosed with social anxiety at 8 and then depression later life. I always wondered if I had something else cause I feel like my anxiety is much worse than some of my friends who have it. I match all of these symptoms except the imagination one. I used to zone out a lot as a kid and my teachers/mom would always scold me and tell me to focus but I never can control it. And apparently I still do it now without realizing it unless someone tells me. I’m also a self learner, a lot of things I do I’m pretty decent at. My day always has to be a routine otherwise it freaks me out. People used to think I was rude growing up cause I never spoke to them even when I was 16-17. Thanks for this video. It was very informative.
Interesting. I also wonder if I have it but I am not sure. This all seems pretty accurate although my medical diagnosis is OCD, not Asperger's. When I was in school I'd get picked on for not paying attention, and then tell the teacher everything that we have done academically but never knew what was going on with social assignments such as group projects. I don't do a lot, but the things I do (skateboarding, guitar, computers) I excel in. I could never fit in because other kids seemed to know what they were doing socially a lot more than I did. Eventually school got boring because I wasn't learning anymore and my grades took a sudden decline because I simply couldn't find interest in any of my subjects besides Math. Edit: often when I am answering peoples questions, they seem to perceive my response as rude, even if I was not replying in a negative, but rather neutral (or so I thought) manner.
Yep. When someone is talking to me and explaining their day I can get HUNG-UP trying to imagine the scenario as all the while they keep on talking and I miss half the storey.
My 33 y/o son has recently been diagnosed ASD. He definitely fits with many of the traits. I watch and appreciate your videos because it helps me to better understand him and how he experiences the world. He also has PTSD and other diagnoses but I believe most of what he struggles with right now is related to Autism. Thank you for all you contribute to help people learn and be more aware. 🙏💜
I'm always trying to self diagnose myself. I have a hard time with small talk, but everything else that you mentioned I'm the complete opposite. Thanks for the insight.
Or when snow is falling. The thick, fluffy, snowman building kind of snow. I look up into it & watch how the flakes fall or swirl. I can get totally lost in it if I or someone else doesn't snap me out of it. lol
I’m 34 with aspberger’s and probably generalized anxiety disorder and I constantly feel that everyone around me is judging me or hates me and think I’m ugly and worthless I want to learn to drive but am terrified same with wanting a job I wish I could shake of years of self-loathing but I don’t know how
I already knew I have Asperger's or some form of mild autism, whatever you want to label it, and related to every single trait. Great video, thanks for making this one!
Being someone who has been diagnosed with high function asberger's I've always found it very hard to describe my condition to neuro-typical people. Because to me I'm just me, I instinctively don't know any different. I've been Listening to you I definitely have alot of those traits to point out and using your video's I think can explain better why I am the way I am, and why I can make the social faux pars that I do. So thanks, keep up the good work! 👍🏻
yes 1) bad in social situations yes 2) bad at small talk yes 3) bad at imagination yes 4) good at picking up facts of interests no 5) bad at empathy yes 6) good at zoning concentration yes 7) unintentionally rude yes 8) narrow interests maybe 9) routine yes 10) bad at making friends But I'm not aspie... unless I'm subconsciously functioning XD So, either I'm aspie or this video needed to be clearer about spotting symptoms of aspergers in adults.
Hello, I'm listening to this guy talking about the symptoms in about what he goes through and "I'm thinking oh my goodness we have so much in common"...I myself am also not all that great in social situations,also certain loud noises give me anxiety and am very introverted I prefer to be inside and keep to myself have a small circle a very little bit of friends and just love being my own company 😊
The things that makes us different is also the very thing that makes us beautiful. Our weaknesses isn't really a weakness IF we are honest and can share our experience to help others.....just like this guy! His disability became his ability!! Don't be sad, embrace it and master it! Wear it beautifully & teach others how to do so.
This is so helpful. I have a 17 year old son, who was diagnosed as a child, but his father argued the diagnosis. I have known his entire life that something was off, but I am glad that he is finally getting it diagnosed and finding some treatment for it! I am going to refer him to your channel. He is very very bright! I hope that with therapy he can get his life on track. He is struggling with job training and the trainers getting frustrated with him! 😢 Is there anything we can do to protect him as an employee? He is a hard worker, but the training being to fast paced is overwhelming for him because they are teaching him 20 step processes at once! 😢 I want him to find friends! He is bullied in school and is about to start virtual school 😢 I am hoping that by watching your Channel, he can see that Asperger’s can be both a blessing and a curse. It is Asperger’s that makes him such a unique and bright child, but it is also making school, social, and work life harder for him. 😢
A book that has helped me and a lot of people stop overthinking and be able to focus more is called “The Power of Now”. I highly recommend it. I believe Asperger’s is largely an anxiety disorder that can contribute to over thinking/ analyzing and obsessiveness and that meditating on letting go and detachment like the eastern philosophies teach can really help us grow spiritually and can help a lot with mental health. I also believe healthy diet (fruit-based in particular as Robert Morse nd teaches) can also help us heal and become more balanced.
Hi Dan ... I’m a parent of a 13 year old with aspergers syndrome. Your channel is so helpful. I have had my son in the preschool years in many therapy’s and read many books and I also follow Doctor Mark Hutten on TH-cam. At my sons age he is really doing well. But as his Mother and advocate I never stop researching for him and that is where I found you..... I think you are amazing and a big help to others on the spectrum, thank you so much 💖
I dated a guy whom I really liked, but he had some very rigid views and actions that I just could not understand. As I learn more about Aspergers, I see a lot of similar traits in him that align with Asperger's Syndrome and I am convinced that he has it. I don't think he knows or has ever been tested, or if he does know and just never told me; but, I wish I had known. It would have made things more clear. Thanks for making this video. It gives me a lot more clarity.
I get you. Could have saved me alot of heartache had I known it was just their autism instead of them being rude to me. I have had many guys I like ignore me and talk to me like I was a wall...
Im here because im certain my ex is on the spectrum, but i didn't know. Slowly the more i learn about it, the more im like, i know only one person like this....damn wish I woulda known then.
I also discovered that autistic people often latch on and become what is basically overattached to certain people. I am like that with my roommate. I get anxious if for example he leaves the house and I wake up and see him gone. It is enough to make me have a meltdown. I know that may sound like a dog with separation anxiety, but it is apart of aspergers/autism. Also, I get super happy and excited when he returns home. I am also super protective of those I care about.
Omg you just explained what I've been doing since I was a toddler! Every. Single. Morning. I would wake up and have a full blown panic attack because I didn't see my mom near by when I woke up (she was usually just in the kitchen having breakfast with my grandmother) but I still freaked out every day. That stopped for a number of years but now I'm the same exact way with my wife and Idk what to do. I just freak out and can't control a golf ball forming in my throat and choking back tears while running around the house like a crazy person
When I still lived at my moms I was just like that when she was somewhere else. She would usually tell me when she planned to come back pr leave a note on the kitchen table for me to find. Everything else: NO, NO,NO! She has not left a note? Has sth terrible happened? It is way beyond time and she is not back: Has sth terrible happened?!
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I'm self diagnosed at 42 taken me years to find out ive always thought I was different it all makes sense you've just described me and my life perfectly the videos are great thanks...
The Aspie World yew good vid
22 aspie girl here, diagnose at 17. But i was diagnose by accident, i was treating other things (long story) im currently enganged to by boyfriend and he really understands me even though sometimes i get really anxious (i really bother me whem im in my internal world and he keeps asking me if im.ok, that i look distant,angry, sad... no!just in my world!)
But thanks to your videos (im mean really) i understand much much better this neurological thing and i can carry on better, even though... now i realise so many things of my past and... its really sad like... if i would have been diagnose earlier... oh by the way... in my family, only my bro knows about it
... I just... i dont know if I should say it... or keep it... i just... i cant find the words...i just dont want let them know... but deep inside i think that they would understand me better. The anxiety its really strong when im with them and they just say that i am grumpy... it hurts
...
The Aspie World thats funny because it went defrent for me.. I went to docters and it was hard for them to tell i had aspergers because of every thing else i had and i still did things like.. Scream when i ate hot food and throw up when i ate ham buger meat and nuggets. And more. I say having these dis abilities are realy a better vision of the world and how cruel it is. And how great it can be
The Aspie World
My 14yrs old Aspie son is hyper focused on movies, video games, and TH-cam videos. He loves to compare one thing to another, say one type of movie to another type of movie. He even has a tendency to talk through a movie, so I tell him to be quiet and not be rude during a movie.
I'd rather have silence than small talk. I'm fine with the silence.
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To me silence is often a blessing in disguise in a lot of social situations. Even with small talk more often than not for me conversations seem to come down to a competition of getting your point across. It’s exhausting. Especially with people who aren’t used to dealing with contrarian thought. I don’t won’t to have to pretend like I agree with people all the time just to get along with them.
I hate small talk. I don't understand how to do it.
The imagination thing is only for male aspies.
@@spaceace4387 Stop stalking me, douchebag.
My husband and step daughter have aspergers. All accurate! My husband doesn’t know how to do small talk... but it has never stopped him from talking to strangers..instead he launches into in-depth, intense conversations with strangers and skips small talk all together.
Leigh-Erin Davis my aspie hubby and does the same! My aspie daughter moreso memorises small talk and kind of reels it off from memory, but if the small talk deviates from the norm she gets in a bit of a pickle bless her xx
This actually sounds cool. I hope I can meet your husband at a random bus stop.
Thats me
Exactly! I've always hated small talk, because I didn't know how to start a conversation without feeling weird, but I tend to just bare my heart and soul to about anyone who would listen. Now that time has passed, I've had several people ask me why I talk about my past, isn't some things embarrassing, but I never got what they meant by that. In general I'll avoid social scenarios, but when I'm in them I can't shut up once a conversation starts. They're gonna know I'm adopted, whatever new facts I've learned recently, and some foreign news stories for sure.
I do the same.
Ive developed a technique for it. Lots of people don't want to engage though.
I tend to obsess about a particular subject until all the information I can acquire starts becoming repetitive and then I lose all interest and move on to another subject and repeat the whole process over and over again
Yeah!!! I find that I hope around on some subjects but basically have a few core obsessions that I always turn to.
I usually end up focusing on something for awhile and then dropping it and then coming back to it sometimes with just as much intensity. Some things I never drop.
This happens to me too!
I’m very much like this!!! I thought I was strange for this but I find something or a hobby I obsess become really knowledgeable and then I lose interest and I’m on to the next one
I do the exact same thing.
I'm 72, and I've wondered all my life why I couldn't fit in, keep a job, why I offended people so often, can't stand small talk (although I've learned how to do it enough to get by), need my rituals and routines, why smells are so important, why I only ever had one friend (and then she died), and on and on. I read a book called the "Kiss Quotient" and it opened this door for me. I am so excited to be creeping up on others who might be more like myself.
Did you ever get married or have any kids? Was it difficult supporting yourself or was your family there for you.
My sincere compassion on the loss of your one Friend. Same here. Jesus is the One Friend Who will never leave you! Bless you!
Do you like to email? Text? A phone call here or there? Let me know if I can be of help.
Welcome to my world.
Rest in piece 🙏 I hope you’ll find a good friend. You deserve it!🌹
1. 0:55 Social Interaction
2. 2:00 Small Talk
3. 2:50 Imagination
4. 3:46 Fine Details and Facts
5. 4:45 Social Thinking
6. 5:44 Hyper Focus
7. 6:36 Unintentional Rudeness
8. 7:23 Obsessive Interests
9. 8:14 Routine
10: 9:10 Making friends
Thank you
TY
Great, thank you!
Thanks
Thank you,,
Have you ever experienced being with a group of people who chat with each others (in real life) and you think you found the right moment to talk but people will ignore you as if you weren't there at all and just keep on chatting with each others? Because that happens to me all the time and it makes me mad because I believe people are doing this to exclude me but then again, I have no idea how I'm coming across. Eventually I will say something in the lines of "excuse me, may I talk?" but this is even more awkward.
Mathead I get that too, I think if they expect your quiet
s125ish Yeah, sure, of course, that's what I think too. But when is the time to talk, then? Never? I'm talking about casual conversation here, not serious discussions. My theory is that these conversations are often a social competition and my awkward insecurity makes me a candidate for immediate disqualification.
Mathead - That happens to me also, and I don't have Aspbergers or autism. Perhaps they are too concentrated on their subject or perhaps they are just "bad people".
I don't know, but it really isn't fun when it happens. 😢
That happens to me too!
i think that when this happens to us, we've said something that doesn't lead naturally to response in the conversation. I think that the way we express ourselves, we're signalling a break point, for a NT.
I've learned a trick that I think works will with my aspie traits. I'll listen for someone to say something that sounds like it can lead to something interesting, or simply just to give them more to talk about, and ask them about it. For instance someone may mention that their dog was barking and kept them up last night. So this is an invitation to ask some questions about their pets.
At this point, I've become part of the conversation, and that person in answering the question, is now talking to you.
Because people like to talk about themselves, this makes it easier for us aspies. You can keep them talking. And because You are listening, they will grow to like you.
I'd rather sit and listen...it's more entertaining and I don't have to justify anything.
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That is me too. The things you can learn about anyone.
I get that
Is there a fear that if i say something it may be challenged or judged? Avoidance of taking risk to speak?
@Klaa2 early negative experiences in the 'game' can leave people hiding out on the sidelines, in the crowd, or even leaving the stadium. however, this is no fun. the fears must be overcome. i do though have empathy for those who have been scarred/scared by life. most of my existence has been one coping mechanism after another, they serve a function for a while until they dont. meeting the world without armour is dangerous. yet the armour is heavy and restricts movement/freedom. hurt people need a safe space to unfurl themselves first, so they can gain confidence in their own skin. they must also learn that the judgements of others are not scientific facts. they are hypotheses based on insufficient evidence and are open to challenge. confidence can be shattered over time, or even in one or two painful experiences. it takes time for that confidence to regrow like a lizards leg. some thoughts.
I am a parent, a partner, a loved one and a healthcare provider AND I also an autistic! Most of my life I was completely unaware and just thought people hated me for some unknown reason. I am so grateful for this community and TH-camrs like you. You’ve seriously changed our lives in big big ways! Thank you!
I was diagnosed with aspergers at age 32. I was so relieved because I used to think that I was weird because I'm a bit different. I'm proud to have aspergers.
How were you diagnosed?
Yes how did you get diagnosed how did you do it?
How do you get diagnosed?
@@madhut3042 diagnostic testing for adults with ASD hasn’t really been established as of yet; and not many providers specialize or offer testing for adults. You might check with a psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, or a neurologist to see what they can do for you. If they don’t feel qualified to evaluate you, ask for a neuropsychology referral.
@@nadiags9811 Is the RITVO a good tool? I consisting score around 140. I’ve taken it every 6 months for the past 2 years
When I sometimes make eye contact with people I almost feel like a deep energy connection that makes me avoid further eye contact..idk maybe I'm just weird
Yeah it can be pretty intimidating. I don't have aspergers but even I was afraid of eye contact once. You just gotta force it. Remember to smile slightly so that they'll be at ease
lets be friends bro hahaha
I look away whenever I make eye contact idk why but I heard it’s kinda rude
It is nearly impossible for me to look people in the eyes, it would be easy to walk a tightrope while juggling chainsaws than eye contact.
augusto ornelas I just tell people that I’m very uncomfortable looking people in the eyes. This might help you out too))
I am a 63 yr old grandmother. These videos finally help me figure out why I always thought something was wrong with me. Your videos are very informative. Thank You !
I'm so very glad you have answers. I know what a relief it was to find out I have adhd and was only diagnosed a year ago after seeing people who think like me, especiallyother women, I got tested. I'm 43... my boyfriend is just learning about Asperger. He's 54. I feel bad about somethings I'd given him a hard time about before I knew more.
I'm so grateful for TH-cam.
@lucasmilito7421 No you don't.
@Lucas Milito Are you seriously suggesting that the herbs have cured ASD? because it is a neurological condition & therefore a person lives with it instead of 'curing it' as this is impossible.
I was recently diagnosed and I’m 32! You can’t imagine the hardship I went through, thinking I was the weirdest person in the world, until a friend told me that I have signs of ASD. I went to see a doctor/psychiatrist, and sure enough!!!!! It was a warm feeling to know I wasn’t alone!!!
How did you know you had it? Is there a test? I feel I have Asperger’s but don’t know where to start
@@bubbaLV unfortunately not many doctors in the US diagnose it- it's a crying shame
@@bubbaLV you can find people though, just do your research!
Hi. I'm very glad and thankful that you're willing to share your knowledge and experiences with ASD. I'm a mom, with lower level of social skills. Not sure of any diagnoses for myself, but, I can really relate and it sounds like your describing my social experiences quite spot on. I recently had my adopted son tested for ASD as I suspected it since he showed early signs of Sensory processing issues. So, I've had him in early intervention programs since he was 12 months to 3 years old and maybe all through grade school. What struggles we had!! I wished I could say we've gotten through the worst but, he's starting high school soon, and of course I'm worried but, always hopeful and praying for him to have at least 2 good friends. I just wished people would be kind all the time. Thanks.😊
@@vanessabeaton the self employment is so me. I need to find another way to support myself because i cant work for too long. It drains me. Im 32 now and everything is making sense now why i feel weird. I always wanted to be alone ALL THE TIME
i piss off strangers sometimes because i dont know when to talk so i cut them off or stop talking and i have problems ending a conversation and i just talk about whatever is on my mind lol
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Same lol.
Well, keep in mind that the "rules" they have for "appropriateness" are completely arbitrary, not fixed.
So keep on doing exactly as you have been. It's fine.
If someone doesn't like that, too bad !!
I piss off friends for the exact same reasons 😁 I only have a couple tho.
Just remember to stay friendly with the most important person of all, yourself.
I find if difficult to start conversations too because every time I start a conversation with a stranger? They look at me like I stepped on their puppy.
LMAO samee!! I'm left thinking "what did I do?!" then I just remember I'm an aspergers and will never know.
You don't make eye contact with people because you're afraid to "weird them out" and you weird them out because you don't make eye contact. Then you hate yourself for not being able to make eye contact, which just makes it harder to make eye contact in the future, because it instills in you that you're "abnormal".
You also dominate a conversation, while making this shit non-eye contact, and eventually, you just find that no one fucking likes you...
Which just contributes to your eye contact staying nonexistent. Well, that's my version of hell, anyway. Yours may vary.
@@@manictiger
Described over 50% of my life
i cant hold a conversation more than 5 seconds unless someone else controls the conversation and i dont know how to talk most of the time but i can recognize non verbal signals in people, if you asked me to provide feedback about a movie ive seen 20 times i wouldnt know how, i also lack empathy . IS THAT ASPERGERS????
Well when i look at people in there eyes i feel like i can look into their soul than feel akward feel uncomfortable
I'm the opposite with small talk, I treat everybody like my best friend. I'm beginning to feel like a stupid arsehole. I'm above average intelligence, but I don't seem to fit in anywhere, except with kids, cats and dogs. They all love me
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Karen Lee That's AWFUL!!! I'm so sorry you're being victimized by your hateful peers-and I hope you keep your head up in spite of the haters!!!
@Karen Lee I do how old you are but maybe moving isnt the worst idea. Finding a tribe might be easier near a larger city where there are Aspie groups to join & special interest and hobby groups. Even going to an Aspie convention Or event could be a gateway to meeting more supportive people. ❤💛💚💙💜
Craig I know more than one pre-k or Kindergarten teacher who's on the spectrum. They are so great at their job and really have wonderful accepting classrooms - the kids love it!
Karen Lee maybe your an empath going through Narcissistic abuse?
we only found you a few days ago, and after 42 years of being married to my Aspie husband I'm still learning. Thank you,
I'm a dental student and I just want to learn as much as I can because I want any and all patients that come in my door to feel as comfortable as possible with me. I appreciate what you're doing and how you're allowing us all to learn from you and your experiences!
That’s an excellent thing to aim for!!! You are a hero! ✌🏼⚡️😬
I wish all health providers were like you. I've had some really good ones and some who just couldn't understand even after I TOLD them, that you can't just come up behind me and touch me on the head, and that if you talk fast I can't follow you .
Dwalksauce... I'm a dental assistant and I've worked for dentists who express strong asperger's symptoms, etc. This may sound kinda dumb now, but treat your staff very well. Be mindful of who you're hiring and how you're treating them and whatever your personal limitations are, your assistants can smooth over with patients.
Yay! For me...just warmth. Like when they smile and are friendly and just fill you in about what to expect and ask if you have any questions. General friendliness. If someone seems dour I just like they hate me. Also...not whispering or making it seem like they might be gossiping because I always worry they are talking about me with their eyes and just laughing behind my back. Upfront polite. Oh..
Not being warm and then suddenly quiet or reserved. That is worse than being cold all the way through
When I see that someone emotionally shifts all of sudden...especially when I have just spoken...that causes anxiety. And also honesty helps. Like if someone is having a bad day and is in a bad mood...I get it. If they say that...I know to not take it personally. But if I think they are otherwise happy with others but then are quiet or ignore me or seem cold...I get very stressed inside. Blunt honesty, humour, not giving odd looks...just engaging.
is having a blank facial expression part of aspergers because people always tell me to smile even though i feel fine and dont see the need to smile.
Yes!!!
Wow I'm the same way. People tell me that I always look high or zoned out, like my head's anywhere else but in the present moment.
i got told in a job interview that i had a dead pan facial expression and no confidence because i struggled making eye contact only briefly then look away
People have told me that my entire life, it's very annoying. When someone tells me to smile I just want to say no and slap them across the face. I always thought that would be awkward if I were to walk around with a smile on my face. People would say " what are you smiling about.
Omg always! I hate it when people tell me to smile. Rude!!
I get overwhelmed in public places. My social anxiety makes me stone-faced and inhibited. Sometimes I talk and don't even realize I cut someone off.
Heck yeah. Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
Aspergers is not shyness at all. Aspergers is far more serious as it has sensory problems and a very literal way of seeing things.
When I'm overwhelmed and nervous I can't shut up! My 5yo is the same way.
@@aprils5881 this is me to a T! & then I can agonise for days over it, feeling I absolutely humiliated myself, have shared way too much personal information to someone inappropriate.
@@wombat3256 yes.
Exactly!
Omg did I just tell the gas station clerk....😳
Hi there! I’m a teacher in special education and teach in a collaborative setting with 3-4 year old students…many with Autism. I know I’m an Aspie, but have never been diagnosed! Everything you say is so awesome and helps me know myself so much better! I’m going to retire this year and in my sixties! I have been “different” all of my life! But, I am so happy now because in the last few years there is so much more information out there that differentiates the many levels of Autism! You are an Angel for helping others see themselves, but also be able to express acceptance and a sense that it is ok! It’s ok and brilliant to have Asbergers!
So this guy at my old job was super cute. Everyone in the office thought he was just weird and anti social. He’d never make small talk, wouldn’t really talk to anyone and was always by himself. I suspected he might have Aspergers or something similar. Anyways, I had a crush on him but I swear every time I’d make an attempt to talk to him he’d just ignore me and pretend I wasn’t there. Others in the office tried being friends with him but he didn’t seem interested in making friends. One day he got up in the middle of work, yelled he was quitting and never returned. I felt bad for him because he probably felt no one understood him but the truth is, someone cared for him a lot and he never gave anyone a chance to get close to him.
It’s also possible he quit because no one would leave him alone.
Look, don't make up shit about some dude you had crush on. in other words don't put him on pedastal for no reason. Most likely he was just a dumbass.
@Luke Austin cause people attribute positive qualities on their crush without fully knowing them.
@@aminerkin9844 bruh lol
@@UserName-ii1ce It's true though haha
OHHHHHHHHH GOD small talk is hell for me. I keep smiling awkwardly and saying things that make no sense at all, then spend the following hours super agitated and cringing at everything I said and did.
Now, you probably don't remember me but I commented on previous videos and last week I talked a lot to my psychologist about Aspergers and I am going to a psychiatrist next month and hopefully we're getting in the way of getting a diagnosis. And your channel has been a huge part of that, so thank you
Yeah!!! Oh that is awesome! I am so happy my videos and channel helped 😬⚡️.
The worst is when someone's talking about something horrible saying, "it doesn't make sense"
And then you in your problem-solving nature share input on what could have caused it and what people might have been thinking:
Then they think that you "know too much" and are projecting the same evil. Smh...
Eduarda: I have Aspergers, what is the point of small talk?
Yes!! The smiling sometimes I smile other times I'm told to smile and that I have a blank expression.
I have come across so many acquaintances who have undiagnosed aspergers. I can spot signs very quickly now and wonder how they aren't aware. I think aspergers is more common than believed.
Oh interesting. Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
1 in 77 apparently
Definately!! & same ❤
I'm not surprised! A ton of my friends (who are integral to our friend group) check all the aspie boxes. Without exception, their social awkwardness is more than made up for by their sincerity of character and depth of knowledge about their interests. Always fun to hang with, as long as you understand that certain things, like subtle facial cues or sarcasm, might fly over their heads and adjust accordingly 😊
I'm 80 yrs old. I'm pretty sure my sister had undiagnosed Aspergers. I probably have a couple of symptoms. I think my daughter and granddaughter have some symptoms. At 80 I just found a boyfriend 3 mos ago. I'm sure he has it too. Watching these videos help me understand what and how he thinks. It's different than me and the general norm. He has all 9 of the symptoms you talk about and I have one of them.Thank you for posting.
I'm a parent who believes his child is an extremely high-functioning Aspie. I find that it's not the Aspergers that is the main issue, but the affect the symptoms have on one's life that could lead to depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
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I like this site. I figured out I had autism symptoms about 10 years ago and I'm age 70. My granddaughter has it, but she is high functioning. Just has problems speaking, just as I did at her age. My son-in-law also is on the spectrum. He is a professor at a university medical school. I'm having an easier time communicating now, since my neighborhood is very friendly, and most of my hangups about people talking behind my back or any other such nonsense, which would have bothered me in the past, just doesn't concern me now. I still dread going to events, but once there, I'm fine. Hope this helps someone.
Oh hey!!
Tamara Jones most beautiful people are different my dear... make your own space..
Hi! I’m 45 & thus far undiagnosed...”they” (behavioral health ppl & their ilk), have somehow pigeonholed me as someone who has bipolar disorder. I don’t believe that’s accurate, though. I’m a 45 yo female. When I was in college, I asked my mother, over & again, “was I ever diagnosed w ANY sort of learning disability?” Tbh, I still have “imaginary friends,” & that might be foolish, but here we are, right? My mother never answered my questions sufficiently, although I’ve typically been “late to the show” on nearly every developmental milestone since I was very young.
I’ve become a “classic (social) chameleon,” I guess. Thinking back, I watched all the gen-x pop-culture films and I actually remember trying to “become” whoever I decided was my favorite, or at least the strongest, character in those films. I guess I’m kind of a “professional” masker...that sucks bc I’ve never quite been able to identify just “who I am.” I mean, I remember asking friends for advice on how to become a “laidback person.” I’ve asked peers about what “balance” means in their lives to the end of achieving that myself... it’s frustrating, but even without an actual diagnosis, I’m fairly sure of where I stand. I’m definitely on the spectrum...I believe that especially now that I’ve taken some time to do research.
I’ve never cared for psychiatry professionals, or even having therapists. I’ve never trusted those people for whatever reason. Maybe someone out there could be helpful-I’ve not found them yet... I’m not sure whether I’ll continue my search.
Anyway, I’m given to ramble on in my comments & maybe this is an ok place to do that-I have old friends who live 2,000 miles away who have stopped communicating w me bc “sometimes (my) texts are overwhelmingly long,” & they’re “too busy,” “too tired,” too...”whatever” to take the time to respond. Now that I’m “just becoming myself,” no one seems to have the time for me & who I am. That makes me sad. I try hard to feel comfortable in my own company & I’ve done well w that so far.
(Here’s where I apologize for the length of my comment; I never expect that anyone would ever read all these words, but thanks for the space to vent a little bit.)
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I'm the mom of a 5 year old girl who has recently been diagnosed with aspergers. And i often worry so much about what her adult life will be like, but by seeing you and how well you're doing and learning how to help her deal with the world, i'm positive that she will be fineeeee! Thank you
Freja I wish my parents would watch videos like this to Learn what I’m going through they just think it makes me shy! It’s a lot more I get sensory overload and when I am stimming my parents make fun of me and sometimes call me stupid
Lunar Gem this makes me so sad to read. It’s never okay to make fun of your kids! If stimming helpes you feel calmer I think it’s awesome! And if you have great ideas on how to feel less stressed it’s super too. I’m not diagnosed but I still stimm, always have and I’m a 34 year old mom who works quite ok in society. Much love! 💕🌈
I have made it.. 6 kids and money.. Plus I am happy
I get yelled at by stimming because my mom makes fun of me and calls me weird
It's hard to have a job with it expectly in retail she will be good in office job setting. Retail will stress her out a lot and become overwhelm. It might help her through out the years but if you focus on a office job or tech job something away from people than she'll be fine. Teaching her how to be independent will help a lot. So credit cards and saving would be a big help. It does though get worse unfortunately but she will still be able to function like anyone else but may be a little mute from the world. Shy and quite at times some things will spark her interest and she'll talk for hours about it. Growing up Pokemon and video games help. Puzzles are great and drawing. Some of the things I like. I'm almost 30 but I am still living with my mom soon to find a place for myself Im scared to death but as long as my mom is there for me I'll be fine I also have help from others.
Asperger's.
My headstone will read,
"That was weird"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 ❤ it
My wife says she'll engrave my headstone with "He did it HIS way!" LOL.
Self-diagnosed 2 years ago after seeing a documentary on adult women on the spectrum. Made so many things in my life make sense. Watching that doc was so weird, it was like someone was describing my entire life and personality. Since then I have discovered a whole community of adult women like myself, and we all celebrate and commiserate together. I really found a place where I feel like I naturally belong.
😬⚡️!!!
What was the documentary? I am relating all too well with almost all of these signs but I’ve never been diagnosed.
It was from a series on public television called "Autism Grows Up"
I don't mind talking to a stranger about something meaningful, or relevant/important to immediate surroundings. But "Hi, hello, nice weather" is pointless, boring and an unnecessary waste of time & energy. When you have something important to say, I'll listen and engage. Otherwise, I will probably ignore the person.
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I mean, anything conversation is worth something since it keeps autistics from isolating themselves and helps them become more social. I am dealing with something where I just can't help but getting into arguments with others. It's natural for me to engage the jerk that gets on my nerves but likely not healthy.
That is, unless you are obsessive about weather, and studied minute details about since the person was nine (like myself) and any book I could get my hands on about it. Then a person has only opened a "whole new can of worms" to comment about the weather. LOL. Only thing is, it was not the only subjects I got wrapped up in as a kid. Other "ologies" besides meteorology. I always felt like I had two lives. One I spent isolated dwelling on the subjects at hand, and not really getting on well with people, and the life I spent muddling through conformity so I could get back to my subjects and isolation.
Franklin Taylor what if you are not good at what you are studying or change hobbies sporadically that it gets annoying to the person you are around? It is like talking about the weather one minute to you changing the subject quickly to politics when the person wants to talk about the weather and doesn't feel comfortable discussing politics.
Hellbound Iscariot I can shift and if it is a subject I know little about, I have learned to be honest. Saying well, I don't know about it. Decent or healthy people understand. Politics are a very touchy subject you probably shouldn"t talk to just anyone about LOL!
My doctor wrote Asperger's Syndrome in my card once when I was like fifteen, then I got some antidepressants to help me "open up" (I had severe social anxiety). During that time, I learned to avoid situations I couldn't handle like small talk, ordering things in restaurants (I only go there with someone who does the talking for me)... and then not my doctor or my psychiatrist mentioned Asperger's ever again... And my family started to think it's not Asperger's, that I'm just really shy... Be it AS or not, I stutter when I talk to strangers, and I talk much too fast and disorganized with people I know a lot... I don't get how people just start talking about random things, I don't get how they make and keep friends, and I really want to share my favourite things with people, but they are always so annoyed... Just wanted to tell someone. :)
You communicate well, via the written word. Maybe you could focus on that. Best to you. A lot of brilliant people have been "different." Nothing wrong with different.
Yeah, me too.
aspergers versus neurotypicals youtube channel addresses these things. how to understand the neurotypical.
Same
I feel when a doctor feel something wrong like Asperger's they want to close the books on that by asking you,, " do you want to kill yourself ", . Most people automatically say, " no " which automatically would end a doctors appointment. They don't want to deal with Asperger's and they by law have to know your emotional state of mind. Asperger's is not an emotion.
If you talk well, non violent and seem nice , to most people you are doing well even though you are dealing with Asperger's inside your head.
This is the best explanation of aspergers I’ve ever seen. Everyone thinks that we are all monotone sociopaths. But we are not. We just struggle. I have adhd aspergers and ocd. I relate so much to this guy
The imagination thing is definitely not a universal thing. It is more common in girls to be highly imaginative, but expressing it is more complicated. You've listed very typical male stuff but by the time women have grown up they have frequently taught themselves to avoid some things by rote i.e. I memorized small talk cues and I have a rota I can run through in my head of what is "expected" of me in such scenarios. It isn't natural, or comfortable, but I put on a very good concealment play.
Yes indeed!!
Yes ditto here, and very well said.
Same
Me too!! So many aspie ladies are artists and designers, I was blown away by the female aspie community on Insta 💕
How is it more common in girls to be highly imaginative? Some of the greatest thinkers like albert einstein had aspergers.
I'm a proud parent! 🙋🏼
And yes so true my son can be rude to people at times. But not intentionally. He's just expressing himself out loud. For example when guest would come over and visit, he would come out of his room and say ... "what are you doing here? who invited you? how long are you gonna stay here? " So over the years I've learned to give him plenty of information before hand. To avoid any rude outburst. I've learned that if you explain everything ahead of time and prepare him things work out better. For everyone.
Crazy4Disney, I us to say that when I was young lol
I'm dating a man on the spectrum and I absolutely love him dearly.
I want nothing more then to understand him and how he thinks. I've a child with Down syndrome who displays unusual behaviour so I feel I'm open to various behaviors outside the social norm.
Your videos are helping me a lot.
Hey that is amazing!! Thank you so much! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
Oh oki hope it works out for yoy😊
I’m a grandmother with a 2 1/2 year old grandson who is about to be evaluated for Autism. I’m trying to learn as much as possible to be “prepared”. He has so many signs of it and I want to advocate for him and make sure that he has every advantage possible...that boy is my every breath!
Obsess over his neurological tissue health and its going to be a stupidly unfair advantage.
A lot of people take for granted the brain slows with age typically. The world has very interesting facts hidden in plain sight. People like us have the highest batting average to figuring that out.
@@remasteredretropcgames3312 What?
@@bakerfritz4681
If only you knew the power of white matter precursory.
NZT 48 exists. Thats why it sounds like ends ET ford he ate. To ford that river takes a certain kind of person to appreciate that a brain is basically at the end of the day just a biological computer.
The truth is we also probably arent the only let alone wisest animal or sentience in this universe. Just because we dont immediately recognize them doesnt mean we are special snowflakes.
@@bakerfritz4681
Ill put it like this so its less cryptic.
A healthier neurology leads to better memory.
People underestimate their environmental exposures. Like black mold. Nearly impossible to avoid. Lots of damage costs pressuring people to call it an allergy. It might as well be sarin nerve agent, and its growing in our vents. This is just one insidious reality.
Remember most people have no concept of what health is. Its a little more sophisticated a problem than going to the gym and eating healthy or taking a vitamin is going to necessarily cut it for. Its variable mostly because if you arent obsessed about it, then you probably arent going to appreciate it through to the long term gain.
@@bakerfritz4681
Brace yourselves, neuralink is coming.
I have aspergers and anxiety and its so hard as every day is a challenge and sometimes i just feel like i have had enough.
Maple Mew just take each day as it comes and worry about yourself and not what others think 🙋♂️
J0NNY SiN Stay focused, life is beautiful open up to faith.
maria13corvette thankyou ✌
i haven't got anything and i find everyday a challenge, life is stressful. So don't worry just do your best. People will love you for you.
OoO meh too! Exactly the same!
I relate to most of these items but it may not always be easy to spot an Aspie in social situations right away. Many learn to “mask” and learn basic rules of social interaction enough to get by. It’s not until you get to know them a bit better you realize something is a bit “off”.
Yes! This! My son is 17 and has learned to mask it so well! It is after you get to know him, that you realize he says basically the same thing when in a group or social situation. He is very good at putting a big smile on his face and pretending he is not uncomfortable, but deep down he is wanting to run away from the entire situation. Everyone argues with me that he does not have Asperger’s until they really get to know him and see some of his behaviors, habits, and how he acts socially.
@@cynthiadingle7905 don’t try and convince everyone he has asberges ffs let him be
Totally on the spectrum here. I'm 27 and this has made so many things make sense. I definitely have "tics" that I've always done. Never been a social person & never wanted many friends. Always wanted as much time to myself as I could get. Don't do well in social settings & I rarely try and even talk since it never goes well. Anxiety, depression, it's all there. For me though the biggest thing is being focused on certain things, becoming obsessive over certain topics. I too am huge on UFO, paranormal, supernatural, odd things as well as true crime & history, and I've spent hours upon hours on here watching videos related to that, reading books, etc. It's like I'll learn about a popular crime I never knew about & I'll have to research it until I turn blue. Same with the UFO & supernatural stuff. It doesn't help having tons of free time at home either. I can't say it's a bad thing though, I enjoy these topics, but there's definitely a line there where it could become unhealthy. I have so many of the signs, though. Totally explains my entire life. Even if there's no cure it feels good to know why I am the way I am and that I'm far from alone in this. Wow. Mind=blown.
Now I'll be researching Aspergers until midnight though lol
Hey!!!
I'm exactly the same mate it's so frustrating
Same 😊👍
You just described my life. Especially the musician part. I was bullied all through school and dropped out of uni multiple times due to the social aspect. Only ever made friends through music. I'm 43 and just lost my job because of my "lack of empathy or compassion" and a pattern of "failed communications". I have now started the diagnosis procedure through Embrace Autism (Dr. Natalie Engelbrecht).
I’m 37 years old and just learned that I might have undiagnosed Asperger’s. I’m devastated. A lot of things are starting to make sense now. I’ve always felt “different” and like I’ve had imposter syndrome.
No need to be devastated.
Why devastating? You actually haven’t changed at all, simply your awareness - and why is deeper awareness bad?? I’d think it would be interesting to understand yourself better. I certainly do.
Isn't it great to realize what's going on?
@@TSquare7741because it can feel like your life has been abit of a lie? How has no one noticed? Etc
The aspie world, do you have difficulty imagining/planning for the future? When people ask me what am I going to do in 5 -10 yrs time, my mind just draws a blank and I get anxious.
Yes indeed I do.
I can't even picture someone I knew, I love or I see everyday with my eyes close, let alone imagine/plan for future!
The mind isn’t where we experience emotion Bc it’s the data center -your gut feelings and intuition are your soul. The soul is energy and essence and is intact and our bodies are the “home” in which our soul resides in the body.
I usually can give such a detailed breakdown that it'll bore them to tears and they'll interrupt and/or change the subject, leaving me with a bunch of racing ants in my head, trying to put the pieces all back on their shelves.
@@cchevy936
Your emotions come from the limbic system and your "intuition" is actually implicit memory, which comes from the cerebellum, basal ganglia and motor cortex. There is no evidence or proof of the existence of a "soul", as of current.
29 years later and my life makes a lot more sense now
so i'm 30, i have no friends, completely isolated had a drug problem, heroin. clean now, but was always "gifted" and had all these huge expectations because of how smart i appeared. very good at taking tests.i've always disected conversations or leave huge text walls in reply to anything. my narrowed interests actually cycle from about 3-4 main things. and everything almost ive tried or gotten into i eventually excel at it but it is very hard coming and people just dont understand taht it takes 100% of my intention focus and determination. i've always had a hard time holding down a job, i was eventually a carpenter but now finally getting off of drugs nad being on methadone i realize how dabilitating a condition like this is. its like everyone in my life even my therapists refuses to look at the clear and obvious truth about me being autistic. he goes so far to say the reasonn i dont like to go outside is agoraphobia when its really just people. its crazy. if my parents didnt support me i would be completely screwed. they think that its just my recovery and part of being on methadone but wont accept that my long history of social anxiety, d rug abuse, rejection of people, awkwardness, crazy obsessions which at one point included the people i was in relationships with..is really just autism. my life would be completely different if they would have understood that. i mean i check all the boxes from eating the same food every day, wearing the same clothes. doing routine stuff over and over the same.being completely fine having no friends and never understood why people hang out or chill, or anything like that even to this day. is completely incredulous. btw i'm 3 years clean now, i dont smoke cigarettes and my passion beyond all everything is growing/breeding marijuana.it's my everything.it saved my life.
I’m 25 and just now finding out. I feel different and I’m not sure how to take it.
lol me 28 years old, just realised i have Aspies
I’m 17 and never noticed most of this stuff
40 years for me. 🤦♂️
One thing I’m curious about (as a person with Aspergers) are the scientific explanations as to why these symptoms exist in autistic people. What makes it an “autistic” trait rather than a regular personality trait?
For aspies, it is the way the brain is wired. This is not so with neotypicals. For them, exhibiting these personalities will be more like a habit and doesn't have anything to do with cognitive deficits.
From an evolutionary-psychology perspective: Non-pathological differences in personality or behavior can often be explained as conditionally/situationally beneficial. It's beneficial for some things, but detrimental for others. Introversion, obsessiveness, hyperfocus, and preoccupation with things vs. people would be advantageous for developing technology, including military technology. This would grant a decided advantage over neighboring tribes in a highly competitive environment. Such advantages are not everything, or the majority would behave this way.
Its the next generation of the human brain folks, survival of the fittest will route out those who cannot make the speed of connection between subject matter like an aspie can..
@@AwestrikeFearofGods Very interesting.
@@northofyou33 …Detrimental, because with poor social skills and interest you would be less trusted, liked, and understood. Besides mating consequences, you were more likely to be murdered, excommunicated, or executed by your own tribe.
Does anyone either a) find they are repeating the same sounds in their head over and over again - like a person's name, a long word, etc
b) find that they are extremely sensitive to sounds - I.e. find police sirens extremely disturbing or perhaps feel that everything sounds like it is the same noise level - there is no difference between quiet and loud?
YES ✌🏼Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I have sometimes issues sleeping and I loop one song for a good hour before I manage to sleep
Every time I go on a road trip, I have to keep my eyes out of the window because when I see signs and store names I have to break the letters down into equal parts and count the spaces and commas and find a way to make it all balance somehow and if it’s an odd amount of letters and spaces, I feel so uncomfortable 😣 I don’t know if I have aspergers, I’m just researching bc I might, but that’s just one of many thing I got to deal with.
@@koridevereaux That never happened to me actually :/
Daverson i definitely have those problems but with the first one its small parts of songs or one part of a song and another mashed together in the wrong order. and when i talk i might be too loud or quiet and i cant tell bc i cant hear that. it just sounds like me talking normally.
Omg yes. Unintentional rudeness. One of my biggest issues. I hate making others feel upset but it happens anyway, and somewhat frequently. *less now because I tend to tippytoe around conversations, thus why I dislike having conversations with most people.* My girlfriend *who is also on the autism spectrum* and I are very blunt with each other and we both like it that way. I don't like to read between the lines or sugar coat my opinions, it just doesn't come naturally for me, and doing such things wears me out.
The imagination thing. I can sometimes imagine things people tell me but it takes a lot of focus. I myself am constantly lost in my own imagination though. I also love to daydream.
Yeah!!!
My partner has the same trouble he can be so rude but he is completely oblivious to it.
And i always cuss/insult people because reasons...
@Truthful News and Politics lmao.
@Truthful News and Politics i used to say faggot a lot.
My son is 23 and was diagnosed at 14. He’s an amazing person just run into the worse people who mistreat him.
I've dealt with ableist tadgers my whole life. Most of them adults. Every time I hear an autistic person call themselves an arsepiece i restrain myself from having a go. LGBTQ folk are heroes. Yet someone who takes it up the bum is a creap. I am socially awkward and talk funny. Which has often led to persecution. I then persecute right back.
@@zoologist1992 holy shit what
@@diddlez2 Piss off heretict. Do Not Forsake The Description Of A Deity!!! Be it God, Allah, Zeus, etc.
I can definitely relate to your son's situation.
Psychopaths can see him thay see me sometimes follow me arownd the store make me feel like I should leave just thay can see him coming somehow im sorry
I'll watch this in full when I can, I'm now home schooling my son because he struggled so much with the school environment. Too many sounds, distractions etc. Thank you for sharing - it's good to hear from someone else, the struggles they face as it can help us to find ways in which to help them, thank you x
I'm a 38 year old engineer and my wife is an occupational therapist. She told me years ago that I am on the spectrum but I didnt realize this was true until taking an extremely stressful job in a loud,noisy, bright and hot environment. There are triggers galore and it drains me, creates me to blow up when plans are changed at last minute and I absolutely lose it. How have I missed this for 38 years? I am obsessed with numbers and noticing trends or patterns in anything.
Recently, I had someone ask me if I was autistic. Never been diagnosed, to my knowledge at least, but I’ve been obsessing in my mind about possibly being so. Before watching this video, certain idiosyncrasies of mine do make sense to being high functioning autistic. A lot of the points I thought, relate to EVERY point you made in this video. Thank you so much for simplifying this and I’m now subscribed to your channel cause of this and I need to talk to my counselor about possibly being autistic. I’m 30 years old btw. And I also have dyslexia like you do bro! And also some mental health issues mainly Cyclothymia. Again, thank you man!!!
This is very similar story to how I was diagnosed. Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
Ever since I moved into my own place, I have finally been able to relax and have my routine. I have a very rigid routine and I can have a meltdown if it is interrupted especially constantly or in a huge way. Growing up, it was so hard to have a routine as my family was always doing their own thing. I'll have a specific spot for the spoons in the drawer, but they'll move it around 5 different spots. In my house now, everything stays where I put it and I control my routine as much as possible. Of course my family comes to visit and I am doing everything I can to not have a meltdown as they rearrange my house and mess up my routine.
Wow. The more and more I listen to this, the harder it is for me to accept. I literally resonate with everything you’ve said and it truly hits home. How could I have gone undiagnosed all this time at 37 years old? I feel like I’ve been hit by a freight truck.
I got my diagnosis at 27 but I had to search it out
I don’t tend to have trouble regarding small talk with strangers because of my Pure O. The only time my brain isn’t running in circles at 100mph is when I’m talking out loud so that literally gives me some peace of mind. For me, it’s so much easier to talk to someone that I know I’m never going to see again rather than someone I know because the pressure of being judged for saying something wrong isn’t as intense. Once it becomes a social situation with a familiar person, the situation flips entirely and I completely freeze up.
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I'm a behavioral science major and my sister who is 14 was just diagnosed this week with asperger's syndrome and I really appreciated your insight because it helps significantly in my career and ability to understand my sisters actions and thoughts. Thank you for using your platform to educate people on these topics!
I have learned to make small talk, but I’ll sometimes move to deeper subjects if I can. This skill took years to develop.
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Hi. When I was 16 I was diagnosed ADD. Recently my adult daughter and her children were diagnosed asbergers and while researching, I quickly suspected I might have it as well. I was tested and tested high on the spectrum. Now I am learning things about myself I always found confusing.
living with asperger's has been difficult for me and this Dr imenherbal I meet on channel makes me feel great that someone knows what my life is like ..
SO helpful, thank you for your channel! My wife & I are so glad we came across your videos today.
My wife, at age 64, was recently diagnosed with Asperger's. What a relief for her; looking back on her life she now understands & sees how much Asperger's played a part !
She had been putting herself down, thought she was a wierd or bad person ...all those years from childhood & Grade school onward.
We will be watching MORE of your vids & hitting 👍 "LIKE" as well as sharing them with family & friends on Facebook. God BLESS ya !
Very happy to hear about your wife's diagnosis and new sense of self-acceptance! I'm age 60 and decided only the other day that I want to have a diagnosis as I've always suspected I'm on the spectrum. There's nothing more beautiful than to finally understand why we are who we are and be to able to fully embrace that and live life in a way that makes sense to a person with Asperger's.
I’m watching this video because I think I can have asberger syndrome. Since I was a little kid I have always felt that I was different from everyone else, that no one saw the world like I did. I loved to be alone and play, because then I could play like I wanted to and I just enjoyed begin alone. I hated party’s because I felt so uncomfortable around many people at the same time and I still do (I’m 26 years now). I really hate eye contacts, when someone ask me to look them straight into their eyes, it’s like pain for me. My mom many thought I was rude because I never looked her into the eyes when she talked to me even if she asked me to. I can do it if I really have to. And always when I get a new interest in something, it’s like I’m obsessed. Now for 7 years I’ve been really into Titanic, not the movie but the story and the fact about her and her sisters. People have been told me I could write a few books about what I have found out about the Titanic and her sisters. My parents don’t think that I have a diagnosis, they just think I’m little different but some teachers and a friend of mine who have asbegers can see a lot of her in me. I just realized this text will be really long ! I hope you will read it and I will give you creed if you do!
or what about people who cannot connect with others and dont know how they shoild behave,,,
I hope you will find your answers, maybe get diagnosed. Because it can be so helpfull knowing You're not an Oddball, or weird. You might just be neuro atypical. Video's like these can be very educational.
I fall on the spectrum but my wife is the one who showed me to you and I'm glad she did. I was starting to feel clueless how I could manage myself and I think I'll learn a lot from you. Thank you for making it easier to find information on the subject, I'm starting to believe I suffer with nonverbal learning disorder and it wasn't always easy to understand things easily without it being an interest of mine.
Hi! New to your channel. I'm a teacher of English as a foreign language here in Spain. I have a Spanish student who has Aspergers and who also happens to be a brilliant engineer. He's learning to improve his English in order to pass interviews to get a job in Ireland, the Netherlands or Belgium. Once I knew about his Aspergers, it became my priority to learn more about this and to make his classes tailor-made to his condition. I also understand that most people know very little about this condition, so I highly encourage him constantly to mention it at the very beginning of every interview, since he's ashamed of something he shouldn't be ashamed of. Once his interviewers understand his condition, if they are intelligent enough, they'll see that his talent and experience has no boundaries. Poor man keeps getting rejected because of this and because he gets very anxious (he also has to deal with high anxiety and is medicated for this): having Aspergers *AND* having to do interviews in a foreign language. Imagine that! The guy is incredible. I really hope he gets a good engineering job soon. He really deserves it.
February 14, 2017
I married Andrew Benjamin Pearce who I did not know had Asperger's Syndrome. He disappeared from home September 20, 2017 without a word. Andrew is extremely intelligent, has a photographic memory, reads and writes in Japanese, taught his self 4 other languages as well. Andrew read a book about my BMW and knew how to repair it just from reading! Anything that has a pattern Andrew can Master! Things like musical instruments, mathematical equations, computers, cell phones, but Andy cannot drive and will not try! I believe something happened in his mind while I was away at work. I believe Andy is back living on the streets of Midwest City, Oklahoma. I'm doing all I can to locate him but this seems nearly impossible. Andy wears sunglasses so that he does not have to make eye contact. Andy was constantly confused except with me. I'm trying to learn as much as possible about his condition just in case I'm able to locate him again!
Thank you so much for your TH-cam channel!
I live in Oklahoma City Bethany, you haven't seen him since he left?
James Bennett
How in the world could you marry a person without getting to know him first?
I have difficulty not just starting a short conversation, but also figuring out how to end it without leaving the other person cold. I tend to stay too long and then my mind goes blank and I slither away - awkward AF.
Damn, a lot of this sounds like me...except not being able to read emotions, I'm able to tell if people are irritated, excited, uninterested, etc. But everything else is me,
spot on.
I'm the same way so I feel that
I’m an educator who has a young brother who has Asperger. I myself am legally blind. I love educating people about people who are differently-abled. Thank you for this video.
One of the things I dislike the most is randomly bumping into a person I used to know and then having to talk to them. Unexpected and unwanted social interaction, what a nightmare. I socialize more _easily_ online, though I hesitate to say "better" haha.
I draw and write so I can imagine things that I have made up myself but when I'm reading books it's awful. I actually feel physically tense and frustration that manifests as an irritating sensation in the back of my head because I can't picture the characters or the scenes being described at all. I love it when movies for books come out because someone has put the world together for me so the next time I read it it will be enjoyable. I have the same problem with things like guided meditation, "Imagine you're on a beach.." me: *breaks out in a cold sweat*
I'm curious about whether other people with ASD have problems with the following:
Is anyone else terrible at remembering their left from right? I have found if I need to recall that info on the fly, like someone asks which direction to go for example, I always *always* get it wrong.
Has anyone else had issues with learning to ride a bike and/or drive? I can't keep up between how fast everything is moving and the amount of things I have to remember to do at once. My parents attempted to teach me but I couldn't pick it up, I hated it in fact and even though I didn't want to learn to drive I was forced to. It took me 4 attempts to pass my driving test and in one of those I drove onto the wrong side of the road without realizing it LOL. I haven't driven in 12 years and never will again, it's awful.
Oh yeah, that can be difficult.
The Aspie World I just wanted to add that my psychiatrist finally officially diagnosed me with ASD in my session today. It's a relief. 👍
I'm so glad I found your channel and can't wait for more awesome/relatable content! ❤
Im an adult with aspergers, diagnosised at 23, had struggled with feeling like i wasnt human, thought i was an alien. Suffered verbal and physical abuse as a child it mostly stopped in my early 20's but came back around 30 and has been increasing in magnitude and aggressiveness since. Currently i rarely leave my apartment out fear that everyone will attack me for no reason or for things they did. It has gone so far as to do damage to my heart from constant stress. I fight everyday now to not just end my suffering, because i used to be in awe of the world and people, but i find less and less reasons to stay here or to continue to exist
I understand you bro I’m also a Aspergers I feel like a Alien too but sometimes I’m sad but proud of what I am even though my life was a struggle with people and others I’m happy that I succeeded and I crushed those people because who are they to judge me I’m proud and I too believe you should Aspergers for life
I love you
I'm in love and in a relationship with a wonderful woman who auto-diagnosed herself with dislexia and Asperger syndrome. That's why i'm here :)
Thank you so much for this video ! It helps me a lot to understand more about Asperger and understand her more!
Just a little add-on to the obsessive interests. In my last conversation with my psychiatrist about this he told me that oftentimes Asperger's tends to show differently in women, and instead of us heaving one obsessive interest, we tend to have multiple. (I know thats true for me.) That is part of why girls and young women with Asperger's tend to go un-diagnosed.
i'm a male and my interests change frequently aswell
It doesnt show differently. We see it alot less frequently, thats why they often think its adhd. I had that problem with my daughter
I could check most boxes here except the imagination part.
I've always had a vivid imagination (extremely so as a kid/teen) and have always expressed creativity in some way or other.
Social interaction is a completely learned skill for me. It didn't come natural to me at all until I was in my twenties.
By then so much of my learned skills and behaviours had become ingrained and instinctual that they could come off as natural to people who don't know me.
The imagination part is only some people not all :). Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
Same. I don't have issues imagining things, books and fantasy is one of my main interests. But socializing with people I don't know can still be hard in my late 20s.
That’s great Malcolm. Gives me hope that I’ll be able to learn social skills that some day will be instinctive. Do you have any tips?
I’ve been doing a lot of research on high functioning autism and Asperger’s syndrome here lately. I’ve always knew I was different but just couldn’t really put a finger on it. I’ve always been reserved and I’ve never had friends. I’m almost 22 and I find it very hard to put myself in social situations, even with family because i tend to get a very overwhelmed and frustrated. Certain noises, too loud of noises, too many people talking to me or talking in general, when I’m not able to express the emotions I’m feeling,or when I feel like someone isn’t listening to me, all those tend to really make me feel very very “overwhelmed”. I’ve tried to explain that “overwhelmed” and “frustrated” feeling a lot to my partner but he doesn’t understand. He tells me I’m rude a lot and I never understand what he’s talking about. I never knew how to explain myself to him. I’ve mentioned to him before about this possibly being something I could have but he doesn’t think so, which is very frustrating. I’m afraid to go to the doctor in fear of them looking at me like I’m crazy but I just can’t help but feel like something isn’t right with me. And if I could get a diagnosis, then it would explain so many things about me. Any advice? My partner is the only one I’ve talked to about this.
Hey that’s super interesting. Did you see my playlist on girls and autism? It would probably be your best place to start I’ll link it at the end of the comment. Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :). th-cam.com/play/PLsnq_HpT7puSqNdqu3I___iAUAZ6GjNg7.html
I have only just received my diagnosis for aspergers and currently waiting for adhd testing. This has really opened my eyes as to actually how many traits I have that my parents didn't see, as I had an older brother had dyspraxia and aspergers.
Join the club wasn;t diagnosed until late 40s suspected ADHD too....
Please I'd love to show this to my bf since all of these points fit like a glove. The awkward scripted small talk, the direct straight out dishing out of thoughts, the hyperfocus on interests. He's not diagnosed so I don't know for sure but some things start to make a lot of sense.
All my life, I was accused of not being able to make small talk. Now, though, I talk about the weather. That is small talk, right?
Definitely! 😁
I learned that recently as well. I am not really interested in weather but at least every one can say something about that
Yup. Talk about the weather or something superficial you have in common with that person. For example, if you're both standing in a line, you can talk about how long the line is or about the thing you're waiting for.
Yep, unless it's a tornado or hurricane
Absolutely
I find the older i get the more stronger my aspergers gets. Amazing video Dan i am so glad someone who has aspergers tell's the world how it is. If only more dr's and health professional had aspergers as only someone who has it knows what it's like.
Hexalina omg. I feel like this too. Was talking to Sally about this. Like are we less resilient?
I experience this as well. I think it's because I've spent 36 years masking and it's just catching up with me. I also think when I'm burned out it's more difficult to cope.
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Are you following a natural treatment or a pharmacology approach 💙
Wow, thanks for the video. I was diagnosed ADHD as a child and I always thought I just had sever social anxiety, but I think this might be closer. Only difference is I find I'm hyper aware of social situations, I can tell the instant someone is uncomfortable, I can tell if they had a rough morning, whatever they are feeling I feel it to but magnified to the point its overwhelming. I avoid social situations because it's to much to feel everyone else's emotions magnified plus deal with my own so I just don't. You've given me something to think about, thanks!
I’m this exact same way!! It feels like emotions are amplified and makes me super anxious
Wow this sounds like me
I remember reading different articles online and watching different videos that have basically said that with autism, sometimes it's not that you're unaware of cues and identifying emotions in social situations, but that you can be too aware of them. So if any of you feel that being too aware during socializing means you probably don't have autism, don't deny yourself because it can still be a trait!
(By the way, I'm a person with ADHD and I've been researching autism in my spare time because I question if I have it myself, and I know other people with autism and I'd like to educate myself about it for them at least. )
Same
My son is 7 years old wow his past actions make sense I’m so emotional right now 😢
Help support him then, instead of being emotional, ya dingus.
I am always nervous when communicating. I know that I am awkward. People find I communicate funny, some like that. I feel like a 39yrs old child. I'm still stuck in the child phase where you ask a lot of questions. I need things to be precise to understand correctly.
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I know what you mean since sometimes I myself need every detial before making a decision or answering, it can be tough for people that do not understand its necessary in order for myself to provide a proper answer
Me too
Same here.... im constantly worried if I said the "wrong" things. Like you, i asked alot of questions as well in order to understand better
Gina's Totally Bodacious Universe I know exactly what you mean. I have to force my self to talk to ppl!
Don't mean to split hairs here, but Aspergers is technically no longer an official diagnosis as of the DSM-5. About five years ago, it was absorbed into the broader diagnosis of ASD or autism spectrum disorder. Don't mind me though, I can be a bit of a stickler.
Scififan9000 :P that's true but it's still ok to identify as Aspie. 😁
Oh totally. I know some people use the term Aspergers still. I personally prefer ASD but to each his own.
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You're allowing the PSYCHO-BABBLE pseudo-scientists to define or categorize things?
Do NOT respect them, do NOT accept anything they have to say.
They're idiots.
You are you. Define yourself and ignore categorizations.
There is a political aspect to these categorizations as well. Try to figure that out.
Read "Brave New World" by Huxley. That may help.
You have a point. While I may not agree with every aspect of the DSM, it can be a helpful tool that people use to receive the accommodations that they need. However, I would not consider autism to define me as a person.
I totally relate to thinking about how I can take things apart & put it back 2gether. I always NEED 2 know HOW EVERYTHING works & WHY. I'm a female w/ ASD, ADHD, & OCD. I have a crazy imagination since as long as I can remember. I'm CONSTANTLY analyzing & questioning how & why things are, work, etc etc. I'm in my head 99% of the time thinking, like my brain is playing 1,000 movies all @ once. That's how I always describe it. & the obsessive need 2 want 2 know, learn, & understand EVERYTHING that crosses my mind - which is A LOT! Lol
it's amazing I can be 55 years old and just figure it out NOW. It began with general societal awareness, this year, 2024. Understanding has grown by watching your videos. I am sooo typical.
I do know and understand other people's feelings - 30 years in medical field may have helped. I don't read standard body language well unless it's fairly exaggerated BUT I can read people's body if they are not feeling well, in pain or in distress, etc - again medical experience. Everything else.....almost 100% on the rest. Thank you for your great descriptions so we can understand ourselves better. Making friends has become easier as my awareness has increased and I practice typical interactions which I can tell makes others more comfortable. making friends when I was younger was very very very rare.
I think my husband may have something going on, if you could help me understand. Husband lisps and muffles his words sometimes when he's nervous, doesn't recognize social q's, can monologue and not recognize when he's not funny. He picks at his skin on occasion. Other than all that, he has a good job in plumbing and good income. He picked up on the trade very quickly. My needs are very simple and I love him very much.
I think my husband has it too... I didn't know until I married him and moved in with him... it's very frustrating, but I still love him
I’ve wondered if I had aspergers for awhile. I’m not good with social situations at all. Never was. I got diagnosed with social anxiety at 8 and then depression later life. I always wondered if I had something else cause I feel like my anxiety is much worse than some of my friends who have it. I match all of these symptoms except the imagination one. I used to zone out a lot as a kid and my teachers/mom would always scold me and tell me to focus but I never can control it. And apparently I still do it now without realizing it unless someone tells me. I’m also a self learner, a lot of things I do I’m pretty decent at. My day always has to be a routine otherwise it freaks me out. People used to think I was rude growing up cause I never spoke to them even when I was 16-17. Thanks for this video. It was very informative.
Sounds like ASD :). Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
Interesting. I also wonder if I have it but I am not sure. This all seems pretty accurate although my medical diagnosis is OCD, not Asperger's. When I was in school I'd get picked on for not paying attention, and then tell the teacher everything that we have done academically but never knew what was going on with social assignments such as group projects. I don't do a lot, but the things I do (skateboarding, guitar, computers) I excel in. I could never fit in because other kids seemed to know what they were doing socially a lot more than I did. Eventually school got boring because I wasn't learning anymore and my grades took a sudden decline because I simply couldn't find interest in any of my subjects besides Math.
Edit: often when I am answering peoples questions, they seem to perceive my response as rude, even if I was not replying in a negative, but rather neutral (or so I thought) manner.
Yep. When someone is talking to me and explaining their day I can get HUNG-UP trying to imagine the scenario as all the while they keep on talking and I miss half the storey.
My 33 y/o son has recently been diagnosed ASD. He definitely fits with many of the traits. I watch and appreciate your videos because it helps me to better understand him and how he experiences the world. He also has PTSD and other diagnoses but I believe most of what he struggles with right now is related to Autism. Thank you for all you contribute to help people learn and be more aware. 🙏💜
I'm always trying to self diagnose myself. I have a hard time with small talk, but everything else that you mentioned I'm the complete opposite. Thanks for the insight.
Exactly, talking about yourself instead of talking about ideas? Asperger's is more self-centered.
Thanks for this. I have just been diagnosed with Asperger’s and trying to navigate my way through it. I am diagnosed at age 39 which is crazy...
Amazing.
On zoning in:
You ever stared at rain on a parking lot? I could stare for minutes on end.
Not autistic, yes I have and could for hours. Nature is beautiful!!!
I honestly really dont like rain, lol.
I'll zone in on the feel and sound of rain too lol
Waves at the beach do it for me
Or when snow is falling. The thick, fluffy, snowman building kind of snow. I look up into it & watch how the flakes fall or swirl. I can get totally lost in it if I or someone else doesn't snap me out of it. lol
My children have Asperger’s. All three of them - Two of my grandchildren have it.
You have hit the nail on the head!
I’m 34 with aspberger’s and probably generalized anxiety disorder and I constantly feel that everyone around me is judging me or hates me and think I’m ugly and worthless I want to learn to drive but am terrified same with wanting a job I wish I could shake of years of self-loathing but I don’t know how
I'm thinking of you, and I'd like you to know you're none of those things! Keep up the good fight!
@@Glassimagination thanks 😊
I already knew I have Asperger's or some form of mild autism, whatever you want to label it, and related to every single trait. Great video, thanks for making this one!
Being someone who has been diagnosed with high function asberger's I've always found it very hard to describe my condition to neuro-typical people. Because to me I'm just me, I instinctively don't know any different. I've been Listening to you I definitely have alot of those traits to point out and using your video's I think can explain better why I am the way I am, and why I can make the social faux pars that I do. So thanks, keep up the good work! 👍🏻
I was recently diagonsed with Aspergers. I also have BPD, PTSD, Bipolar and Chronic depression. Thank you so much for posting this I related so much!
Hope you’re doing well!!!!
yes 1) bad in social situations
yes 2) bad at small talk
yes 3) bad at imagination
yes 4) good at picking up facts of interests
no 5) bad at empathy
yes 6) good at zoning concentration
yes 7) unintentionally rude
yes 8) narrow interests
maybe 9) routine
yes 10) bad at making friends
But I'm not aspie... unless I'm subconsciously functioning XD
So, either I'm aspie or this video needed to be clearer about spotting symptoms of aspergers in adults.
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Same here even watching this video I wish you would have just gone straight to the facts
Hello, I'm listening to this guy talking about the symptoms in about what he goes through and "I'm thinking oh my goodness we have so much in common"...I myself am also not all that great in social situations,also certain loud noises give me anxiety and am very introverted I prefer to be inside and keep to myself have a small circle a very little bit of friends and just love being my own company 😊
I’m 20 years old. For the past few weeks I’ve been beginning to realize I have Aspergers. It explains A LOT. Makes me sad?
The things that makes us different is also the very thing that makes us beautiful. Our weaknesses isn't really a weakness IF we are honest and can share our experience to help others.....just like this guy! His disability became his ability!! Don't be sad, embrace it and master it! Wear it beautifully & teach others how to do so.
This is so helpful. I have a 17 year old son, who was diagnosed as a child, but his father argued the diagnosis. I have known his entire life that something was off, but I am glad that he is finally getting it diagnosed and finding some treatment for it! I am going to refer him to your channel. He is very very bright! I hope that with therapy he can get his life on track. He is struggling with job training and the trainers getting frustrated with him! 😢 Is there anything we can do to protect him as an employee? He is a hard worker, but the training being to fast paced is overwhelming for him because they are teaching him 20 step processes at once! 😢 I want him to find friends! He is bullied in school and is about to start virtual school 😢 I am hoping that by watching your Channel, he can see that Asperger’s can be both a blessing and a curse. It is Asperger’s that makes him such a unique and bright child, but it is also making school, social, and work life harder for him. 😢
A book that has helped me and a lot of people stop overthinking and be able to focus more is called “The Power of Now”. I highly recommend it. I believe Asperger’s is largely an anxiety disorder that can contribute to over thinking/ analyzing and obsessiveness and that meditating on letting go and detachment like the eastern philosophies teach can really help us grow spiritually and can help a lot with mental health. I also believe healthy diet (fruit-based in particular as Robert Morse nd teaches) can also help us heal and become more balanced.
Hi Dan ... I’m a parent of a 13 year old with aspergers syndrome. Your channel is so helpful. I have had my son in the preschool years in many therapy’s and read many books and I also follow Doctor Mark Hutten on TH-cam. At my sons age he is really doing well. But as his Mother and advocate I never stop researching for him and that is where I found you..... I think you are amazing and a big help to others on the spectrum, thank you so much 💖
Thank you so much for the support and kind words, and thank you for the awesome comment!!!
I dated a guy whom I really liked, but he had some very rigid views and actions that I just could not understand. As I learn more about Aspergers, I see a lot of similar traits in him that align with Asperger's Syndrome and I am convinced that he has it. I don't think he knows or has ever been tested, or if he does know and just never told me; but, I wish I had known. It would have made things more clear. Thanks for making this video. It gives me a lot more clarity.
Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).
I get you. Could have saved me alot of heartache had I known it was just their autism instead of them being rude to me. I have had many guys I like ignore me and talk to me like I was a wall...
Im here because im certain my ex is on the spectrum, but i didn't know. Slowly the more i learn about it, the more im like, i know only one person like this....damn wish I woulda known then.
I also discovered that autistic people often latch on and become what is basically overattached to certain people. I am like that with my roommate. I get anxious if for example he leaves the house and I wake up and see him gone. It is enough to make me have a meltdown. I know that may sound like a dog with separation anxiety, but it is apart of aspergers/autism. Also, I get super happy and excited when he returns home. I am also super protective of those I care about.
Omg you just explained what I've been doing since I was a toddler! Every. Single. Morning. I would wake up and have a full blown panic attack because I didn't see my mom near by when I woke up (she was usually just in the kitchen having breakfast with my grandmother) but I still freaked out every day.
That stopped for a number of years but now I'm the same exact way with my wife and Idk what to do. I just freak out and can't control a golf ball forming in my throat and choking back tears while running around the house like a crazy person
When I still lived at my moms I was just like that when she was somewhere else. She would usually tell me when she planned to come back pr leave a note on the kitchen table for me to find.
Everything else: NO, NO,NO!
She has not left a note? Has sth terrible happened?
It is way beyond time and she is not back: Has sth terrible happened?!
@@PridelessChickz how do you get wife ? Is your wife NT or in the spectrum ?
@@PridelessChickz congrats bro
@@aliefr2984 Thank you so much, sweetheart❤