As an adoptee, thank you for sharing your story. Adoption is not a fairytale. It’s rooted in trauma and loss for some of us. We need to talk about it and making it better for all involved.
Being adopted as a grown man still eats me up inside I found ways where I cope with it but it still remains inside not to know your blood makes you feel like you don’t know who u are
100% agree with this. I have a feeling it’s something we will have to learn to cope with for the rest of our life. I hope you have ppl in your life who’ll be there to guide you through it ❤️
You absolutely don’t have to go on not knowing who you are! I was raised by my mother but later found out she was being dishonest about who my BIO father was. If you want to learn more about yourself and find your family, you should order a Ancestry DNA kit! I’ve met my BIO father and built an unbelievable bond!
@@noemidominguez8168 You are not ungrateful because one's true identity is important to them and you not asking for too but longing to know your true identity.
This is an important video. Sometimes we (people who want to adopt) romanticize adoption and hearing the complexities in your story helps me, personally to think outside of myself.
Yesss!! That’s exactly one of the reason I wanted to share my story. Adoption is a beautiful thing and I am for sure glad I got adopted. However we do need to point out the hard parts of adoption. Often parents of adoptees are not prepared for the hardship that comes out of it because most of us take more time to romanticize the the process.
@@Karisbell I relate to this video. I was “adopted” within my own family. I was adopted by by godparents because they couldn’t have kids. When they realized that adopting me was never going to filled that void they started resenting me.
@@quelquun2018 I am so moved by your comment. You are a testimony that needs to be given for those of us who want to adopt. I tell foster parents and adoptive parents to truly be real about why within themselves. These blessings are not there to heal you.
@@Karisbell could u help me I found out about my adoption and I have been homeless since I found out. I have been targeted by people protecting my adopted family
I adopted my daughter when she was six months old. I'm a single mom and I've been in her life from before she was born as her mom and I were bestfriends. Shes only 2 now but I've been struggling on whether I made the best decision taking her from her extended family and Ethiopian traditions. She is as aware as she can be of her family but they are not in the best situation to care for her. I appreciate your perspective and it helps me in maintaining that contact and culture for her sake.
Are their Ethiopian organisations within your community? Can you travel to their conventions and events yearly? Can you cook their food? Buy books in the home watch certain movies? Does she have uncles and auntie's? Can you start relationships with them?😇
This kind of insight from an adoptee should be mandatory for potential adopter parents. It’s real sh!t, some, if not all, adoptive children have gone through sometime like you said in their life . The inner demons, down-talk, feeling abandoned, unworthiness, isolation, not wanting to get close to people/friends. If you are interested or have already adopted, make sure to attempt to have open discussions with your children about these issues. I’ll be willing to wager that 99% do. I didn’t know I did. But now I do and am working on it. And for anyone else out there that shares these….you’re not alone.
Thankyou. I struggle everyday with being adopted, it’s so reassuring hearing someone’s else’s story and realising some of the feelings you have experienced aren’t out of the ordinary.
@@Karisbell @MICHAELA LACEY Thank you for sharing your story. We adopted our daughter last year. Do you think you would have been happier in the orphanage/Home? What would your advice be for a parent like me?
I’m Ethiopian and I got adapted at the age of 9 and I feel like dying everyday. I feel so unwanted in this world and idk what to do. I googled being adapted in Ethiopia and I saw your video first. I’m writing this because I need help in wanting to live. I really hate myself
this just brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for the pain you're going through. I have been there. it sucks. I am not sure if this is available to you, but best advice is to go to counseling. Trauma is such a crazy thing. the things we experienced at a young age effect us more than we'll ever know, going to therapy has helped me work through those traumas properly. Most importantly know you are definitely not alone. I know it feels like it right now, but I promise there are so many ppl feeling just like you, and someday you will be able to get out of it on the other side of it being able to help so many others. keep pushing one day at a time. you got this ❤️
Above all, God loves us. No matter what happens to our parents, adoptive or genetic, we will always be loved by God as His children. I hope that this helps you in your struggle 🙏
Oh no please dont feel like that ..I cant understand the being adopted but I can understand sometimes not wanting to live and it sounds like maybe you feel your adopted parents dont love you either..whatever the situation God loves you & chose you to live and thrive in the life he gave you you can make it whatever you want keep pushing.
Thank you for sharing. I was adopted at the age of 6 from Ethiopia by a Dutch family. I see a lot of similarity between your story and my adoption experience. I always felt so quality and felt so alone. I went to a professional and I just realised that my adopting was a traumatic experience for me and I never saw it that way because everybody always told me that is was so lucky. Therapy gave me so much knowledge about myself and why I act and behave the way I do. Thank you so much for sharing.
Oh my gosh first of thank you for sharing your experience and for taking your time to watch my video. Crazy how similar our stories are! I’m so proud of you for doing the hard work and for seeking out for help! It’s going to benefit you so greatly! And I can tell it already has. Keep it up!
What was traumatic exactly? The fact that you lost you biological family as a child? Or the fact that someone wanted to take care of you at that painful time?
I’m a 30 single black woman. I’d like to adopt an older child. Preferably a black girl, because I understand the nuances of navigating through life as a black girl and how difficult it can be. I’d like a older child because I know they’re least likely to get adopted. They don’t have to look at me as their mom, I’m ok with that. They can call me their mom, their aunt or even big sister 🤷🏾♀️(my baby sister is 16 so I’m cool with it). Overall, I just want to be an aid to help her possibly change the trajectory of her life. I’ve heard foster care system kicks the kids out literally at 18. These young adults have so many odds against them and I really hate that. I appreciate you sharing your story! I do hate that ppl push a narrative that children that are adopted are lucky. I think that stifles them from processing certain events in their lives because they’re supposed to be “lucky”. Sending love your way💜
Are you married? You may want to consider maybe being a restbite Foster mum first. See hoe you deal with that. They allow you to look after children in short bites. Us adopted kids are coming from a lot of trauma. We need both parents in the home. Not just one. We need a lot of discipline and communication.
The racism in international adoption is what gets me. It's like a fetish. 1) Why are 75% of international adopted children (white people adopting non-white children) from East Asia (China, South Korea, Vietnam) and mostly girls (8 to 10 ratio). 2) If a westerner wants to adopt a black child it is in 99% of the time a boy.. Like wtf?! Just look to your right already 3 different stories with gIrLs fRoM cHiNa aNd kOrEa and 2 different white women adoption black boys.. And I know of like 5ish women + couples in my country who have adopted 1 or 2 black boys but never heard of 2 black girls being adopted in my country. Whereas I have heard of so many women + couples who have adopted 1 and even up to 3 chinese or korean girls.. It's like a fetish! I want to adopt as well, always had. There is a huge dislike for adopting black girls - therefore I want to adopt not just one but 3 or 4 black girls. Black children are literally starving to death in mio. each year in Africa and Haiti is one of the poorest countries on earth yet there is a waiting list for adopting from South Korea and I believe in China too (soon anyway, though China has a lack of women due to their 1-child policy) so white people who wants to adopt are draining and have been draining China for girls (women) for decades now. The hatred for blacks especially girls must be crazy. You shouldn't be allowed to chose the skin color or gender of your child, if you want to adopt. If you can't tolerate that you are not fit to adopt. Had this virtue been upholded, I would have adopted children of different skin color and gender. But I guess chinese and korean girls and black boys are more deserving of being loved and getting parents than black girls - who get's adopted the least of all children. In my country the last 50+ years less than 300 girls from Africa have been adopted whereas more than 8.000 girls from South Korea, China, Vietnam, Thailand and The Philippines have been adopted. What else than pure racism and hatred can explain this??? It makes me sick to my core. So much evil out there. Look whenever a celeb adopts a black child (Bullocks, Madonna, Jolie, Charlize Theron) it's all of a sudden a "trend - an obsession - an accessory". Whereas white people (John Mccain, Julia Andrews, Kathrine Heigel, Mia Farrow and oh look how that turned out! Pure f.. karma!) adopting chinese. korean, japanese or vietnamese children - especially girls since the 1950s in America is just good and fine - and "tHeSe pOoR sMaLl, sWeEt cHiLdReN nEeDs lOvE aNd pRoTeCtiOn!" What unlike black girls? Like we are only good for slave trading and stealing our features when we are not being degrated like Serena Williams, Leslie Jones and Michella Obama was called a man the entire presidency. John Mccain adopted a korean girl. Julia Andrews two vietnamese girls. Katherine Heigel 1 or 2 chinese girls. Ewan McGregor a girl from Mongolia. Meg Ryan a chinese girl. Mia Farrow 1 boy (I believe) and 2 or 3 girls from China or and Korea. None of these were accused of stealing babies - treating them as accessories - or making it a trend to adopt girls from far east. But when Madonna, Jolie, Theron and Bullock adopted black baby girls and Scarlett Johanson and Ryan Renoylds having considerd adopting a black child all hell broke loss. In the 1950s and 1960s afro-american children didn't even have equal rights as their fellow white americans and they where spat at in school. Yet white americans were all bussy sailing overseas (Japan and Korea) to adopt their children because they weren't black I guess.. So korean children adopted by white americans in the 1950's actually had better rights than black children already in America had. That is f* up.
Love your story honey, I am adopted as well, at 39 years old still working through the trauma and healing. I am so glad that you are honoring your feelings. Those feelings are all valid and important. As adoptees we are all told we are getting a “great opportunity” but sometimes, for whatever reason, it doesn’t work out that well for many of us but people still want you to “be grateful”. No one should be required to be grateful for being traumatized. I love my adoptive family dearly but my life (our life) was very traumatic. I too played the “good girl” role. Tried not to ever cause any problems because I felt like a burden internally. That rolled into a lot of issues with self esteem and not having a backbone as I became a working adult. I’m so glad you are processing this trauma earlier than I did, wishing you all the best, love and healing 💚!
Thank you for sharing this. As the parent of 3 adopted blessings and the foster parent of over 25 drug babies, I tell people all the time that we must try to understand what the children are going through emotionally. We celebrate the adoption days as well as their birthdays. We pray for their biological family as well as our family. My children have counseling services because no matter what I do for them, a part of them was traumatized by being adopted. It doesn't mean they love me any less it is just a fact.
Telling Your story as a child whom was adopted you are probably helping more people then you know 🥹✨ sometimes hearing or seeing someone else do something helps you to get help or see it’s ok too Thanks For Your Story 👏🏽👏👏🏻💕💫 May GOD Bless You Family And Friends 🙏🏽🙏🙏🏻
Am a new subscriber through one of your vlog ‘announcing you’re having twin’. Your story is highly emotional and real. You’re so right, that they think America is a little heaven on earth…. Very wrong impression though. People in America are just same human being with flesh and blood, going through life challenges like others. They experience same life situations just like others. Happiness is not wealth, a lot of things that make them happy in Africa is not all what you see in western world. They are very contented. The only difference is the opportunities. Nice upload🙌
As the adoptive mom of my nearly three years old little girl, I'm always eager to listen to adoptees sharing their feelings about being adopted. I also enjoy Angela Tucker videos about "flip the script", that are about listening to adoption stories not only from the point of view of adoptive parents. Did ever help you to have siblings who are also adopted in processing your feelings and traumas? Our child is an only child yet.
Thank you for sharing your pain! These are valid feelings for sure . I might have an impression that also what prevent you from healing from your traumas, apart from all the pain you went through was maybe the lack of attention, love and a real bond from your adoptee parents. I might be wrong but I guess when you have close, loving and very considerate adopteee parents they help you with love to walk this trauma journey and make all these trauma lessen with the time. Don't get me wrong, I dont want to judge anyone but being parents of 5 kinds and than breaking up, it really affects the family and how close you are to your kids and how strong is this bond between the parents and the children and like you said, adopted children have feeling, emotions, mental health issues that need healing and most of all love!
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s interesting to hear a different perspective about Adoption from someone from originally from a different country. Adoption trauma is real.
You overthink things and it is horrible, I do the same exact thing lol. Things get better once you accept yourself and learn to control it. I was not adopted but I can as an immigrant, with my family, from a poor communist country and was able to come to the "dream land". My dad is an alcoholic and I practically raised my brother whos autistic and forever mentally 4 years old. Life is hard wether you're adopted or not. I've had suicidal tendencies, feelings of emptyness and over all not wanting to exist, but Idk once I hit rock bottom I tried to better myself and help as many as I can. TY for your beautiful story ♡
Yes. I think this is a challenge for us adopted. There is a lot of overthinking. A lot of comparison. However it comes from a place of not feeling you belong. That's a tough experience. When you constantly feel like you don't belong Iver thinking becomes a coping mechanism.
I love this video and your willingness. Not a lot of people can easily relate to this topic. I was adopted from Ethiopia as well and thank you for being honest and completely juts be you. Girl, yess you’re 100% right being adopted isn’t easy, but if your see it the bright side, we are so lucky to come to a country where we can experience freedom and the love of family. So, I really appreciate you for making this powerful message. Btw your videos are touching and my favorite❤️❤️
Being here my entire life being forced to believe that only white people know anything that this country is the best. It's sad to think that even though you went through so much you still think this country is free and loving. There is very little love here I would love to see all of us return to Africa and make it the place it used to be before we were robbed of everything we had including ourselves. Sad to think sending our babies to the very people who kidnapped us is better for us. I feel we deserve more than that much love to you all
You have every right to your feelings. Just because luckily you were adopted doesn’t make it lucky that getting adopted was necessary. You have been through so much that I will never know or understand and you are thriving. You may be lucky for the opportunities but you put in the work. Do what’s best for you and be proud of yourself. Hugs❣️
You are not blood. But you have a choice between nothing or something. Even for those who have normal "family" it's not easy. There is no family perfection. When I adopted I was told that the kids that weren't adopted ended up as prostitutes, drug addicts or suicides. So yes, you will have heartfelt yearnings and disappointments, but someone helped you. Not all the way, but some of the way. It's now your job to figure that out, no matter how difficult it is. YOU have to get to "all the way". Have you ever considered that you are even more blessed than the "usual' kid? Because you are. You have knowledge and experience. You're closer to the ultimate questions of choice and life. You survive. You have strength. You are actually aware of the fact that power lies inside you.
Thank you for your video. I’m a mom of 3 adopted children. Our oldest (age 6) is starting to have more questions and I love hearing stories from others who were adopted. All of our boys have contact with their birth families which I hope helps them to have that moving forward. Praying for you that you are able to find peace in the things that you have experienced.
no problem! thank you for your sweet comment. best of luck to you as you continue to navigate all of this. I know being a parent on the other end of all of this cannot be easy. I admire you for watching videos like these and educating yourself! Let me know if there is every anything I can do to help 😊
This is me!!! I'm motherless twice. Trauma I've faced is heartbroken and now I'm a mother it hurts so bad because the way I love my son is what I longed for so long.. my biological Mom kept my sister that adds more to the trauma. I feel like a luxury bag when I turned 6yo I was trash.
🌄 Brave girl! Thankyou for honouring your late grandma & your goodly adoptive parents.life happens.it's wonderful that you now have a loving husband & a future fam of your own to love & raise in righteousness#GiveThanks 🎉🏁
@@Karisbell that is definitely much easier said than done, expecially when I try to talk to someone who doesn't acknowledge the fact that I'm black or the grief just because I was too young to remember... thank you for your kind words, I will try to feel better❤
Thank you for sharing queen, I’m tired of pretending adoption and being brought to a new country and a white space isn’t traumatic!! Ethiopian Adoptees and all poc adoptees deserve more!
You should ask yourself why your own Ethopian people did not value you and still don't. Why don't they take care of their own people. Why couldn't your parents take careof you? Where is your Ethopian family. Everone deserves more and better from the people that birthed them. If they were doing their job adoption would not be needed.
Being in a "white space" sounds traumatic - have you considered re-framing how you view people? A Person cannot be reduced to skin color - do you see love, history, hopes, free will in white peoples' faces? Do you see those aspects in POC peoples' faces? A radical re-frame that honors the wholeness of the Other may change your life for the better.
Karis im very impressed by you! Thank you for this very insightful video. Love your honesty and being so vulnerable ❤️ May God bless you abundantly with His love His grace and His peace 🥰
Wow I can relate to your story sooo much! I was adopted from Russia! I came to USA when I was 9 and also was in a orphanage! I just turned 30 and now i really want to go find my baby brother who is still in Russia! I want to make sure he is alive? Okay? No clue what happened to him! :/
I was adopted after being abandoned at the hospital by my parents and even though I never knew them I still feel sad and wonder why they didn't want me and just left me.
@@munix9351 and I am adopt to my birth Family was the worst 💔 but now there divorce and I can't see them Intel I am 18 aaaaa and I have a Teddy of them to remind me of them yessss I am 10 tho and I just have to be me and others do as well, Okkk
I wish I could give you a hug even though that wouldn't help much. Stay strong gorgeous, you're so beautiful inside and out. You definitely didn't deserve that. May life be filled with positivity and good energy from here on out.
I am not adopted, but I went through something similar where I started to process and acknowledge trauma from childhood and adolescence that I had bottled up once I was off on my own and in college. The memories and feelings and anxiety didn't creep up until about junior year of university and then I began flunking out of school. I hope you are able to sort it out and overcome it and not be consumed by it the way I was. Took me about 10 years to recover, partially, and overcome my depression enough to be productive again. I also tried to not be a problem to my mom. When I had issues, I didn't reach out and didn't feel I could reach out because she was always overworked and stressed. My father is adopted (from USA), and it has always been a struggle for him. I have considered adoption but I worry I won't be good enough to help my adopted child to be healthy, well rounded, feel loved, and overcome whatever adversities they face.
I was adopted when I was 9 and I totally relate to everything you said. I used to feel deeply empty and could not express myself. So I started to read the Bible and pray every day and ask God to feel my emptiness and heal my emotions. I am way better now. I feel like I can move on with my life. I also had counselling too
Iam not adopted but did end up in foster care for a yr when I was 8 until my dad found out & came to get custody of me..but I was thinking about adopting myself one day and came across your video to get some ideas on what to expect on how the different feelings they may have and just wanted to say you are a strong beautiful woman..Thank you for sharing your story and iam sure your helping alot of ppl.
I hope you won’t be afraid to talk to your mom and seek help. You’re beautiful in and out. I’ll suggest also if you can go and visit Ethiopia and try to connect with adoption centers. It can help you to know it’s no longer allowed to adopt from Ethiopia but internal adoption are allowed. You’ll got to see and find peace I hope. 🙏🏼❤️
My son is adopted. It’s an open adoption and he has amazing parents! We just visited together last weekend for two days. His parents are also good at keeping in touch with me- we text almost everyday sometimes, but life happens. They’re such good people. I think it’s important that if you are considering adoption, if the bio parents aren’t terrible people and they respect boundaries, having a relationship with the bio parents will really help the child in the long run. It’ll also make you and your child bond stronger. My son loves his parents so much.
@@serenadelfosse8962 it was difficult for me because I didn’t do it when my baby was a new born. I did it when he was 2. I dont have parents or a close family and it was very difficult to raise a child the way I was doing it. I made the best decision ever for myself and for my son. I gave myself another chance at life- to escape poverty and to make better choices. And I also gave my son a stable home with a father figure- and close family.
@@serenadelfosse8962 it also took me a long time to decide because I kept hearing bad things about adoption. But I knew it was the right decision for me.
I am so so sorry. You are such a strong person who’s been through a lot. I knew you were Ethiopian when I saw that thumbnail. Can you still speak any Ethiopian language? Also your eyelashes are gorgeouss
Aww thank you so much for this sweet comment. I actually can’t speak Amharic anymore :( that’s funny you knew I was ethiopian right away. I’m the same way. I can spot an Ethiopian from anywhere 😂
Thank you for sharing your story!!! I never comment on stories. But YOURS REALLY touched me!!!! We/I am parent of an adopted child/grown 23 adult now. Me and her adoptive Mom my ex wife who is now deceased adopted her she was very young around 1 or 2 years old. But we had her since she was 2 or 3 months old. We kept it a secret the best that we could. The both of us and our other children. So that she could have a childhood of her own. In 2013, around the time that my sister died her grown daughter decides to take it upon herself to tell My daughter that she was adopted. For what reason I have no ideal and still to this day, do not understand. Things seemed to change over night. Me and My Daughter have a hard relationship. It seemed to has even gotten worse after have Mom died. Your story has opened up my eyes to how she must of felt and feels. And I am understanding a little bit better. We/I always kind of felt like we was her saviors. But We/I always felt that We could not imagine life without Her being apart of Us or We apart of her life. FAMILY/MY DAUGHTER..
When I go back to Ethiopia they feel bad for me that I was taken.. that I didn't grew up with Ethiopian culture and I can't live there..I never ever heard them say I should be happy. So no not all africans think the west is the best Like the dutch people..
Sadly this why its best to place children into families that match their race, or even look a little like them. Sadly in the UK there aren't as many BAME adopters to.mert 'demand'
@@kellyk.8000 What is pathetic? Do you think it is easy to find out you are adopted as a grown woman with children. Your whole life is literally shattered and everything you have ever known was a lie.
I have an adopted son. I love him to life, and we are very close.I made a decision not to tell him because I didn't ever want him to feel like he didn't belong or no one loved him. I just pray and ask God to help me find the right time to tell him. I also ask God to forgive me if I'm wrong.
Being adopted feel like hell on earth . I hate it so much. Luckily you have opportunity in a first world country to change things for the better where some of us are stuck. Adopted parents expect you to be something that your not and when they force you to believe in their religion and culture. All it does is pushing me away from it even more . Now I have a hate for their religion that is next level. It has been used so many times against me to a point where I see how fake it is. I'll never believe or pray to their god. When I'm at a better place I will write a book of how horrible it is . I believe it's the worst thing that can happen to a child !!!
adoption is traumatic for babies. let alone for a 9 year old, especially a 9 year old from a foreign country coming to a new environment. so not only did you have a traumatic experience when your grandmother died you had a traumatic experience of being adopted into a family and moving countries. I'm not surprised that you have trauma from that. what I wanna know is how your adoptive parents didnt realize that....i am glad you got the help you need now! i feel for you and I am glad to learn more about the trauma that comes from adoption from your point of view!
Adoption is just a peace of paper. When you take care of a child, they become yours. I mean like biological. Having a good family is most important. Your parents like you also have emotions. When you marry and have your biological children, that is when you understand the pressure of taking care of children. Let bygones be bygones. 80% of parents that adopt are the sweetest people. They took you when your biological parents gave up on you. When they refused to face reality, some people were ready to processed that. The future is what matters.
I think it may be difficult for those who feel abandoned to let “bygones be bygones “ . When we have this perspective , it negates the adoptees feelings and doesn’t create a safe space for them to explore their feelings about adoption . This is coming from someone who is adopted . My adoptive mother is EXCELLENT but it doesn’t take that pain away . Thanks for your comment though, as I do hear this often .
We Ethiopians have no clue about adoption especially the one that are living in Ethiopia. We don't think other people will be so cruel and evil to children's. But the Ethiopian that live abroad we know how other people can be so cruel to children, especially to African children.. me and others Ethiopians we Fight Night and Day to shutdown Ethiopian adoption because the adoption in Ethiopia was not good. It's not good for the children and it's not good for the parents and families. Adoption in Ethiopia has brought so much pain and 😢grief Ethiopian mothers and fathers. It was documentary that the children in the Ethiopian was stolen by the orphanage .. the parent has left the children in the orphanage to be taken care of but when they came back to take their children they were gone .. their were mothers who killed himself because their children were disappeared .. a lot of crime has been committed against Ethiopians by the adoption industry but thank God is shut down now..be strong and believe in the Lord Jesus because he is faithful God and best friend you can have that Will Never Let You Down. God bless you ❤️ 🙏 🙌
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I'm not sure all Africans view America as heaven. I'm African and grew up viewing America as dangerous and racist due to the endless violence and racism depicted in hollywood films and the Civil rights centered films about people like Medgar Evers, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, etc. I decided very early that America was a place I would not want to live in, although I was enthralled by the ivy league universities and their reputations.
I’m African and the MAJORITY does. 90% does. Get off your plane in an African continent and see how the African people greet you. AFRICANS THINK AMERICA IS EASY AND HEAVEN.
I have thought about adoption but after listening to your thoughts some others also I dont think it's worth it. Because you want to help the less fortunate but if they are affected in a negative way then its not worth it. So I wont consider adopting anymore. It seems like unessasery stress for person doing the adoption. Because you are only trying to do something nice to help but then if the child is unhappy it's better to leave them in the situation that they're in then! It seems like taking them out of that environment will only cause depression for them.
Hmm but you are not just adopting to be nice🙄🤐🤐 adoption means you get to be loved back and given a title as a mother. adoption is not a one way win. The adoptee is not a saviour.
Do you have your biological parents name? Please contact EBS ethiopian tv show they are helping to help a lot of people together contact them people out their to try to find their children.
I know this video is old but I hope u see this comment because you mentioned something I've been dying to pick someone's brain about, especially because you remember being taught about America and coming here. Why do so many foreigners from so many countries all around the world have this view of life in America? The consensus I have gathered from immigrants (my mom is one and my husband is one but they can't even answer this question for me!) is that people think that all you need to do is arrive in America and suddenly you will just be rich. They don't realize how hard americans have to work to have the big house or whatever it is and that not everyone has a life like that. Also, our food is not any good compared to other countries...now is mass produced basically cardboard seen as a sign of wealth? Lastly, I'm pretty well traveled and life in america is so BORING and lonely compared to other countries. What looks to be so appealing to foreigners about life here, that they perceive they can buy a huge house and just sit in it alone all day? Doesn't the life here look boring and lonely to them? People separated by large homes, no life out there on the street, nothing much going on in public areas, not very walkable, boring and sad looking (lack of color, etc) architecture. Is it Hollywood that made America seem appealing? Is it all because of tv and movieS? Which movies and tv shows painted the picture of such a life in America, and what about it stood out to foreigners that made them think life here was so great? Thanks so much!
First world 🌎 problem move forward with your life yes get that mental health of yours checked seriously cause ...you are privileged you are not seeing your blessing...to be in your situation..so if you are depressed from all the trauma from childhood why not count your blessings of not being in that situation anymore... do you want to return to Ethiopia then do it cause clearly you need a reality check ...if you were adopted by cruel people jus imagine what you woul be saying 😮... someone else would love to be as privileged as you ..help someone and stop the ungratefulness vhange your mental thought pattern
I often wonder how traumatic it is for a child used to living around people that look like them and coming into a very white world...nice things and plenty of food are not the same as having bio family around....but it is what it is....adoption is surely more positive for the little child over living in poverty with bio family passing away.
1st world problems. Weak western mindset. I get it, good to talk about, but you really think living in an African orphanage... the chances you would even be alive right now. The fact that this is one of your biggest issues means your life is pretty good.
As an adoptee, thank you for sharing your story. Adoption is not a fairytale. It’s rooted in trauma and loss for some of us. We need to talk about it and making it better for all involved.
Wise words. The trauma is real. The rejection and abandonment can not be fixed. Nothing resolves adoption not even meeting your biological family
Being adopted as a grown man still eats me up inside I found ways where I cope with it but it still remains inside not to know your blood makes you feel like you don’t know who u are
100% agree with this. I have a feeling it’s something we will have to learn to cope with for the rest of our life. I hope you have ppl in your life who’ll be there to guide you through it ❤️
Me too, particularly as I was told I was a product of rape
Thank you for explaining how I haven't all these years. People don't understand and call you ungrateful 😒
You absolutely don’t have to go on not knowing who you are! I was raised by my mother but later found out she was being dishonest about who my BIO father was. If you want to learn more about yourself and find your family, you should order a Ancestry DNA kit! I’ve met my BIO father and built an unbelievable bond!
@@noemidominguez8168 You are not ungrateful because one's true identity is important to them and you not asking for too but longing to know your true identity.
This is an important video. Sometimes we (people who want to adopt) romanticize adoption and hearing the complexities in your story helps me, personally to think outside of myself.
Yesss!! That’s exactly one of the reason I wanted to share my story. Adoption is a beautiful thing and I am for sure glad I got adopted. However we do need to point out the hard parts of adoption. Often parents of adoptees are not prepared for the hardship that comes out of it because most of us take more time to romanticize the the process.
@@Karisbell I relate to this video. I was “adopted” within my own family. I was adopted by by godparents because they couldn’t have kids. When they realized that adopting me was never going to filled that void they started resenting me.
@@quelquun2018 I am so moved by your comment. You are a testimony that needs to be given for those of us who want to adopt. I tell foster parents and adoptive parents to truly be real about why within themselves. These blessings are not there to heal you.
@@Karisbell could u help me I found out about my adoption and I have been homeless since I found out. I have been targeted by people protecting my adopted family
I adopted my daughter when she was six months old. I'm a single mom and I've been in her life from before she was born as her mom and I were bestfriends. Shes only 2 now but I've been struggling on whether I made the best decision taking her from her extended family and Ethiopian traditions. She is as aware as she can be of her family but they are not in the best situation to care for her. I appreciate your perspective and it helps me in maintaining that contact and culture for her sake.
Are their Ethiopian organisations within your community? Can you travel to their conventions and events yearly? Can you cook their food? Buy books in the home watch certain movies? Does she have uncles and auntie's? Can you start relationships with them?😇
I adopted three children. So important to hear your perspective. Thank you
Thank you for taking your time to watch!
This kind of insight from an adoptee should be mandatory for potential adopter parents. It’s real sh!t, some, if not all, adoptive children have gone through sometime like you said in their life . The inner demons, down-talk, feeling abandoned, unworthiness, isolation, not wanting to get close to people/friends.
If you are interested or have already adopted, make sure to attempt to have open discussions with your children about these issues. I’ll be willing to wager that 99% do. I didn’t know I did. But now I do and am working on it.
And for anyone else out there that shares these….you’re not alone.
Thankyou. I struggle everyday with being adopted, it’s so reassuring hearing someone’s else’s story and realising some of the feelings you have experienced aren’t out of the ordinary.
First off sorry to hear you have been struggling but I am glad my story can help you A little. You’re definitely not alone ❤️
@@Karisbell @MICHAELA LACEY Thank you for sharing your story. We adopted our daughter last year. Do you think you would have been happier in the orphanage/Home? What would your advice be for a parent like me?
I’m Ethiopian and I got adapted at the age of 9 and I feel like dying everyday. I feel so unwanted in this world and idk what to do. I googled being adapted in Ethiopia and I saw your video first. I’m writing this because I need help in wanting to live. I really hate myself
this just brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for the pain you're going through. I have been there. it sucks. I am not sure if this is available to you, but best advice is to go to counseling. Trauma is such a crazy thing. the things we experienced at a young age effect us more than we'll ever know, going to therapy has helped me work through those traumas properly. Most importantly know you are definitely not alone. I know it feels like it right now, but I promise there are so many ppl feeling just like you, and someday you will be able to get out of it on the other side of it being able to help so many others. keep pushing one day at a time. you got this ❤️
I'm sorry sweetheart 😞, you are wanted by your Heavenly Father 🙏. I'm going to pray for you. I love you because I've been in a smiler situation.
Above all, God loves us. No matter what happens to our parents, adoptive or genetic, we will always be loved by God as His children. I hope that this helps you in your struggle 🙏
Be strong
Oh no please dont feel like that ..I cant understand the being adopted but I can understand sometimes not wanting to live and it sounds like maybe you feel your adopted parents dont love you either..whatever the situation God loves you & chose you to live and thrive in the life he gave you you can make it whatever you want keep pushing.
Thank you for sharing. I was adopted at the age of 6 from Ethiopia by a Dutch family. I see a lot of similarity between your story and my adoption experience. I always felt so quality and felt so alone. I went to a professional and I just realised that my adopting was a traumatic experience for me and I never saw it that way because everybody always told me that is was so lucky. Therapy gave me so much knowledge about myself and why I act and behave the way I do. Thank you so much for sharing.
Oh my gosh first of thank you for sharing your experience and for taking your time to watch my video. Crazy how similar our stories are! I’m so proud of you for doing the hard work and for seeking out for help! It’s going to benefit you so greatly! And I can tell it already has. Keep it up!
I'm also adopted from Ethiopia living in the Netherlands.
What was traumatic exactly? The fact that you lost you biological family as a child? Or the fact that someone wanted to take care of you at that painful time?
I’m a 30 single black woman. I’d like to adopt an older child. Preferably a black girl, because I understand the nuances of navigating through life as a black girl and how difficult it can be.
I’d like a older child because I know they’re least likely to get adopted. They don’t have to look at me as their mom, I’m ok with that. They can call me their mom, their aunt or even big sister 🤷🏾♀️(my baby sister is 16 so I’m cool with it).
Overall, I just want to be an aid to help her possibly change the trajectory of her life. I’ve heard foster care system kicks the kids out literally at 18. These young adults have so many odds against them and I really hate that.
I appreciate you sharing your story! I do hate that ppl push a narrative that children that are adopted are lucky. I think that stifles them from processing certain events in their lives because they’re supposed to be “lucky”.
Sending love your way💜
Are you married? You may want to consider maybe being a restbite Foster mum first. See hoe you deal with that. They allow you to look after children in short bites. Us adopted kids are coming from a lot of trauma. We need both parents in the home. Not just one. We need a lot of discipline and communication.
The racism in international adoption is what gets me. It's like a fetish.
1) Why are 75% of international adopted children (white people adopting non-white children) from East Asia (China, South Korea, Vietnam) and mostly girls (8 to 10 ratio).
2) If a westerner wants to adopt a black child it is in 99% of the time a boy.. Like wtf?!
Just look to your right already 3 different stories with gIrLs fRoM cHiNa aNd kOrEa and 2 different white women adoption black boys.. And I know of like 5ish women + couples in my country who have adopted 1 or 2 black boys but never heard of 2 black girls being adopted in my country. Whereas I have heard of so many women + couples who have adopted 1 and even up to 3 chinese or korean girls.. It's like a fetish!
I want to adopt as well, always had. There is a huge dislike for adopting black girls - therefore I want to adopt not just one but 3 or 4 black girls. Black children are literally starving to death in mio. each year in Africa and Haiti is one of the poorest countries on earth yet there is a waiting list for adopting from South Korea and I believe in China too (soon anyway, though China has a lack of women due to their 1-child policy) so white people who wants to adopt are draining and have been draining China for girls (women) for decades now. The hatred for blacks especially girls must be crazy.
You shouldn't be allowed to chose the skin color or gender of your child, if you want to adopt. If you can't tolerate that you are not fit to adopt. Had this virtue been upholded, I would have adopted children of different skin color and gender.
But I guess chinese and korean girls and black boys are more deserving of being loved and getting parents than black girls - who get's adopted the least of all children.
In my country the last 50+ years less than 300 girls from Africa have been adopted whereas more than 8.000 girls from South Korea, China, Vietnam, Thailand and The Philippines have been adopted.
What else than pure racism and hatred can explain this??? It makes me sick to my core. So much evil out there.
Look whenever a celeb adopts a black child (Bullocks, Madonna, Jolie, Charlize Theron) it's all of a sudden a "trend - an obsession - an accessory". Whereas white people (John Mccain, Julia Andrews, Kathrine Heigel, Mia Farrow and oh look how that turned out! Pure f.. karma!) adopting chinese. korean, japanese or vietnamese children - especially girls since the 1950s in America is just good and fine - and "tHeSe pOoR sMaLl, sWeEt cHiLdReN nEeDs lOvE aNd pRoTeCtiOn!"
What unlike black girls?
Like we are only good for slave trading and stealing our features when we are not being degrated like Serena Williams, Leslie Jones and Michella Obama was called a man the entire presidency.
John Mccain adopted a korean girl.
Julia Andrews two vietnamese girls.
Katherine Heigel 1 or 2 chinese girls.
Ewan McGregor a girl from Mongolia.
Meg Ryan a chinese girl.
Mia Farrow 1 boy (I believe) and 2 or 3 girls from China or and Korea.
None of these were accused of stealing babies - treating them as accessories - or making it a trend to adopt girls from far east.
But when Madonna, Jolie, Theron and Bullock adopted black baby girls and Scarlett Johanson and Ryan Renoylds having considerd adopting a black child all hell broke loss.
In the 1950s and 1960s afro-american children didn't even have equal rights as their fellow white americans and they where spat at in school. Yet white americans were all bussy sailing overseas (Japan and Korea) to adopt their children because they weren't black I guess.. So korean children adopted by white americans in the 1950's actually had better rights than black children already in America had. That is f* up.
No matter how lucky they are to get adopted they are definitely not lucky they needed to get adoted
Love your story honey, I am adopted as well, at 39 years old still working through the trauma and healing. I am so glad that you are honoring your feelings. Those feelings are all valid and important. As adoptees we are all told we are getting a “great opportunity” but sometimes, for whatever reason, it doesn’t work out that well for many of us but people still want you to “be grateful”. No one should be required to be grateful for being traumatized. I love my adoptive family dearly but my life (our life) was very traumatic. I too played the “good girl” role. Tried not to ever cause any problems because I felt like a burden internally. That rolled into a lot of issues with self esteem and not having a backbone as I became a working adult. I’m so glad you are processing this trauma earlier than I did, wishing you all the best, love and healing 💚!
Awww, I love your thoughts :)
We didn’t necessarily get a “better” life, we got a different life. It’s not always better. Love and light to you
Thank you for sharing this. As the parent of 3 adopted blessings and the foster parent of over 25 drug babies, I tell people all the time that we must try to understand what the children are going through emotionally. We celebrate the adoption days as well as their birthdays. We pray for their biological family as well as our family. My children have counseling services because no matter what I do for them, a part of them was traumatized by being adopted. It doesn't mean they love me any less it is just a fact.
“Drug babies”? I’m not tryna come for you, but avoid that kinda label on the baby, please. They’re babies.
Telling Your story as a child whom was adopted you are probably helping more people then you know 🥹✨ sometimes hearing or seeing someone else do something helps you to get help or see it’s ok too Thanks For Your Story 👏🏽👏👏🏻💕💫 May GOD Bless You Family And Friends 🙏🏽🙏🙏🏻
Why is everyone from Ethiopia so beautiful
Am a new subscriber through one of your vlog ‘announcing you’re having twin’. Your story is highly emotional and real. You’re so right, that they think America is a little heaven on earth…. Very wrong impression though. People in America are just same human being with flesh and blood, going through life challenges like others. They experience same life situations just like others. Happiness is not wealth, a lot of things that make them happy in Africa is not all what you see in western world. They are very contented. The only difference is the opportunities. Nice upload🙌
As the adoptive mom of my nearly three years old little girl, I'm always eager to listen to adoptees sharing their feelings about being adopted. I also enjoy Angela Tucker videos about "flip the script", that are about listening to adoption stories not only from the point of view of adoptive parents.
Did ever help you to have siblings who are also adopted in processing your feelings and traumas? Our child is an only child yet.
Thank you for sharing your pain! These are valid feelings for sure . I might have an impression that also what prevent you from healing from your traumas, apart from all the pain you went through was maybe the lack of attention, love and a real bond from your adoptee parents. I might be wrong but I guess when you have close, loving and very considerate adopteee parents they help you with love to walk this trauma journey and make all these trauma lessen with the time. Don't get me wrong, I dont want to judge anyone but being parents of 5 kinds and than breaking up, it really affects the family and how close you are to your kids and how strong is this bond between the parents and the children and like you said, adopted children have feeling, emotions, mental health issues that need healing and most of all love!
I was adopted at age 3 and a half from Bulgaria.....I'm in my late twenties now and it's a constant open wound...thank you for your video...❤🩹
You are very welcome. Our trauma is valid and our healing matters
Thank you for sharing your story. It’s interesting to hear a different perspective about Adoption from someone from originally from a different country. Adoption trauma is real.
Thank you for taking your time to watch! And j agree adoption trauma is definitely real. I wish more people knew about it
That's very courteous of you to share, I was adopted myself from Haiti, I see myself related to some of the things you are saying. Thanks for sharing.
You overthink things and it is horrible, I do the same exact thing lol. Things get better once you accept yourself and learn to control it. I was not adopted but I can as an immigrant, with my family, from a poor communist country and was able to come to the "dream land". My dad is an alcoholic and I practically raised my brother whos autistic and forever mentally 4 years old. Life is hard wether you're adopted or not. I've had suicidal tendencies, feelings of emptyness and over all not wanting to exist, but Idk once I hit rock bottom I tried to better myself and help as many as I can. TY for your beautiful story ♡
Yes. I think this is a challenge for us adopted. There is a lot of overthinking. A lot of comparison. However it comes from a place of not feeling you belong. That's a tough experience. When you constantly feel like you don't belong Iver thinking becomes a coping mechanism.
I love this video and your willingness. Not a lot of people can easily relate to this topic. I was adopted from Ethiopia as well and thank you for being honest and completely juts be you. Girl, yess you’re 100% right being adopted isn’t easy, but if your see it the bright side, we are so lucky to come to a country where we can experience freedom and the love of family. So, I really appreciate you for making this powerful message. Btw your videos are touching and my favorite❤️❤️
Yes totally agree! Definitely glad to have been adopted and have this opportunity! Thanks for watching the video!!
Being here my entire life being forced to believe that only white people know anything that this country is the best. It's sad to think that even though you went through so much you still think this country is free and loving. There is very little love here I would love to see all of us return to Africa and make it the place it used to be before we were robbed of everything we had including ourselves. Sad to think sending our babies to the very people who kidnapped us is better for us. I feel we deserve more than that much love to you all
You have every right to your feelings. Just because luckily you were adopted doesn’t make it lucky that getting adopted was necessary. You have been through so much that I will never know or understand and you are thriving. You may be lucky for the opportunities but you put in the work. Do what’s best for you and be proud of yourself. Hugs❣️
You are not blood. But you have a choice between nothing or something. Even for those who have normal "family" it's not easy. There is no family perfection. When I adopted I was told that the kids that weren't adopted ended up as prostitutes, drug addicts or suicides. So yes, you will have heartfelt yearnings and disappointments, but someone helped you. Not all the way, but some of the way. It's now your job to figure that out, no matter how difficult it is. YOU have to get to "all the way". Have you ever considered that you are even more blessed than the "usual' kid? Because you are. You have knowledge and experience. You're closer to the ultimate questions of choice and life. You survive. You have strength. You are actually aware of the fact that power lies inside you.
You're so right. I was thinking about adoption but hell no. I'm not going to cause pain to anyone. I'm going to do IVF or get a sperm and egg.
Thank you for your story. i don't feel alone anymore in this. Much love from Belgium!
Aww so happy to help ❤️
Thank you for sharing 💜🙏 l am an adoptee only child, 48 yrs now and this was exactly my story, this so resonates
I’m so glad I came across your video. I was adopted in 2009 from Ethiopia!
Thank you for your video. I’m a mom of 3 adopted children. Our oldest (age 6) is starting to have more questions and I love hearing stories from others who were adopted. All of our boys have contact with their birth families which I hope helps them to have that moving forward. Praying for you that you are able to find peace in the things that you have experienced.
no problem! thank you for your sweet comment. best of luck to you as you continue to navigate all of this. I know being a parent on the other end of all of this cannot be easy. I admire you for watching videos like these and educating yourself! Let me know if there is every anything I can do to help 😊
This is me!!! I'm motherless twice. Trauma I've faced is heartbroken and now I'm a mother it hurts so bad because the way I love my son is what I longed for so long.. my biological Mom kept my sister that adds more to the trauma. I feel like a luxury bag when I turned 6yo I was trash.
🌄 Brave girl! Thankyou for honouring your late grandma & your goodly adoptive parents.life happens.it's wonderful that you now have a loving husband & a future fam of your own to love & raise in righteousness#GiveThanks 🎉🏁
Thank you for sharing your story❤
I was adopted too from Ethiopia when I was only 10 months, but I still feel guilty about those feelings.
Never feel guilty for those feelings. Which is much easier said than done. Glad you were able to come across this videos!
@@Karisbell that is definitely much easier said than done, expecially when I try to talk to someone who doesn't acknowledge the fact that I'm black or the grief just because I was too young to remember... thank you for your kind words, I will try to feel better❤
Thank you for sharing queen, I’m tired of pretending adoption and being brought to a new country and a white space isn’t traumatic!! Ethiopian Adoptees and all poc adoptees deserve more!
You should ask yourself why your own Ethopian people did not value you and still don't. Why don't they take care of their own people. Why couldn't your parents take careof you? Where is your Ethopian family. Everone deserves more and better from the people that birthed them. If they were doing their job adoption would not be needed.
Being in a "white space" sounds traumatic - have you considered re-framing how you view people? A Person cannot be reduced to skin color - do you see love, history, hopes, free will in white peoples' faces? Do you see those aspects in POC peoples' faces? A radical re-frame that honors the wholeness of the Other may change your life for the better.
Karis im very impressed by you!
Thank you for this very insightful video.
Love your honesty and being so vulnerable ❤️
May God bless you abundantly with His love His grace and His peace 🥰
This just made my day. Thank you so much ❤️❤️
I think Africa is heaven
Wow I can relate to your story sooo much! I was adopted from Russia! I came to USA when I was 9 and also was in a orphanage! I just turned 30 and now i really want to go find my baby brother who is still in Russia! I want to make sure he is alive? Okay? No clue what happened to him! :/
Oh wow how crazy! I hope you get the closure you're looking for. I can't imagine how hard it must be living with those questions!
I was adopted after being abandoned at the hospital by my parents and even though I never knew them I still feel sad and wonder why they didn't want me and just left me.
@@munix9351 my sis parents passed away 😢
@@munix9351 and I am adopt to my birth Family was the worst 💔 but now there divorce and I can't see them Intel I am 18 aaaaa and I have a Teddy of them to remind me of them yessss I am 10 tho and I just have to be me and others do as well,
Okkk
Thank you 🙏🏾 for your honesty and clarity on this topic. Your story is so important for both parents and adopted children.
I wish I could give you a hug even though that wouldn't help much. Stay strong gorgeous, you're so beautiful inside and out. You definitely didn't deserve that. May life be filled with positivity and good energy from here on out.
I am not adopted, but I went through something similar where I started to process and acknowledge trauma from childhood and adolescence that I had bottled up once I was off on my own and in college. The memories and feelings and anxiety didn't creep up until about junior year of university and then I began flunking out of school. I hope you are able to sort it out and overcome it and not be consumed by it the way I was. Took me about 10 years to recover, partially, and overcome my depression enough to be productive again. I also tried to not be a problem to my mom. When I had issues, I didn't reach out and didn't feel I could reach out because she was always overworked and stressed. My father is adopted (from USA), and it has always been a struggle for him. I have considered adoption but I worry I won't be good enough to help my adopted child to be healthy, well rounded, feel loved, and overcome whatever adversities they face.
I was adopted when I was 9 and I totally relate to everything you said. I used to feel deeply empty and could not express myself. So I started to read the Bible and pray every day and ask God to feel my emptiness and heal my emotions. I am way better now. I feel like I can move on with my life. I also had counselling too
Iam not adopted but did end up in foster care for a yr when I was 8 until my dad found out & came to get custody of me..but I was thinking about adopting myself one day and came across your video to get some ideas on what to expect on how the different feelings they may have and just wanted to say you are a strong beautiful woman..Thank you for sharing your story and iam sure your helping alot of ppl.
Your story is so unique. wow. and thank you for watching my video!
Thank you for sharing! Appreciate very much
Thanks so much for sharing. I am so sorry for your pain. God bless you abundantly ❤
I hope you won’t be afraid to talk to your mom and seek help. You’re beautiful in and out. I’ll suggest also if you can go and visit Ethiopia and try to connect with adoption centers. It can help you to know it’s no longer allowed to adopt from Ethiopia but internal adoption are allowed. You’ll got to see and find peace I hope.
🙏🏼❤️
My son is adopted. It’s an open adoption and he has amazing parents! We just visited together last weekend for two days. His parents are also good at keeping in touch with me- we text almost everyday sometimes, but life happens. They’re such good people. I think it’s important that if you are considering adoption, if the bio parents aren’t terrible people and they respect boundaries, having a relationship with the bio parents will really help the child in the long run. It’ll also make you and your child bond stronger. My son loves his parents so much.
@@serenadelfosse8962 it was difficult for me because I didn’t do it when my baby was a new born. I did it when he was 2. I dont have parents or a close family and it was very difficult to raise a child the way I was doing it. I made the best decision ever for myself and for my son. I gave myself another chance at life- to escape poverty and to make better choices. And I also gave my son a stable home with a father figure- and close family.
@@serenadelfosse8962 it also took me a long time to decide because I kept hearing bad things about adoption. But I knew it was the right decision for me.
I was adopted from Ethiopia 🇪🇹 too. When I was 9 too. The journey was not easy. Your gorgeous. I relate with your story.
Thank you so much for sharing your story!! Blessings to you and your mind!
You are such a beautiful, brave, intelligent, and strong soul! I admire you so much! Thank you for sharing....
Thank you so much! Thanks for watching ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss of your mother and grandmother. I hope you feel better soon. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I'm also adopted and just hearing this I'm in tears... cause it's not easy
I am so so sorry. You are such a strong person who’s been through a lot. I knew you were Ethiopian when I saw that thumbnail. Can you still speak any Ethiopian language? Also your eyelashes are gorgeouss
Aww thank you so much for this sweet comment. I actually can’t speak Amharic anymore :( that’s funny you knew I was ethiopian right away. I’m the same way. I can spot an Ethiopian from anywhere 😂
Thank you for sharing your story!!!
I never comment on stories.
But YOURS REALLY touched me!!!!
We/I am parent of an adopted child/grown 23 adult now. Me and her adoptive Mom my ex wife who is now deceased adopted her she was very young around 1 or 2 years old. But we had her since she was 2 or 3 months old. We kept it a secret the best that we could. The both of us and our other children. So that she could have a childhood of her own. In 2013, around the time that my sister died her grown daughter decides to take it upon herself to tell My daughter that she was adopted. For what reason I have no ideal and still to this day, do not understand. Things seemed to change over night. Me and My Daughter have a hard relationship. It seemed to has even gotten worse after have Mom died.
Your story has opened up my eyes to how she must of felt and feels.
And I am understanding a little bit better.
We/I always kind of felt like we was her saviors. But We/I always felt that We could not imagine life without Her being apart of Us or We apart of her life. FAMILY/MY DAUGHTER..
Thank you for sharing your story. 💕
Nice insights of truth with a gentle tone.
You are beautiful and courageous, smart, and kind thinking about others
Ow my dear !!!!! Am from Adiss Ababa ....u r beautiful and strong !!! ❤❤
Beautiful and resilient girl! God be with you.
Thank you so much!
When I go back to Ethiopia they feel bad for me that I was taken.. that I didn't grew up with Ethiopian culture and I can't live there..I never ever heard them say I should be happy. So no not all africans think the west is the best
Like the dutch people..
Thank you so much for making this amazing video. You are a strong woman and are so brave to make this!
Hy um from Ethiopia and I'm searching for my two twins sisters they were adape in Canada we can't find them can you help me how can I find them please
Who disliked this video? You're pathetic. Thank you for sharing your story ❤
Thank you for sharing your story. ❤️
Sadly this why its best to place children into families that match their race, or even look a little like them. Sadly in the UK there aren't as many BAME adopters to.mert 'demand'
You are beautiful inside and out. Be strong ❤❤
Loved hearing your story.
Thanks for listening!
I just find out and I am 32 years old married with kids. I am depressed
Are you for real???pathetic
@@kellyk.8000 What is pathetic? Do you think it is easy to find out you are adopted as a grown woman with children. Your whole life is literally shattered and everything you have ever known was a lie.
@@karabojackson2852 thank u just didn't have to energy to explain that to her. Thank u!
I have an adopted son. I love him to life, and we are very close.I made a decision not to tell him because I didn't ever want him to feel like he didn't belong or no one loved him. I just pray and ask God to help me find the right time to tell him. I also ask God to forgive me if I'm wrong.
@@bunny12989 Don't tell if you can keep it to your grave.
Thank you so much for telling your story
Thank you for sharing this.
no problem! Thanks for watching!
I want to adopt a teenager in America so, thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry about your pain and what happened to you.
You are beautiful!!
I just met my biological mother. After 56 years. Have u tried to find your bio father???
For real :)
Being adopted feel like hell on earth . I hate it so much. Luckily you have opportunity in a first world country to change things for the better where some of us are stuck. Adopted parents expect you to be something that your not and when they force you to believe in their religion and culture. All it does is pushing me away from it even more . Now I have a hate for their religion that is next level. It has been used so many times against me to a point where I see how fake it is. I'll never believe or pray to their god. When I'm at a better place I will write a book of how horrible it is . I believe it's the worst thing that can happen to a child !!!
Great video!
Thank you!!
Thank you for sharing!!
Thanks for watching!
My heart goes out to you ♥️🌿🕊️
Please get help from professionals. You are a bright young lady, think positively for your future. I wish you love and happiness. Thanks.
I like u are very positive that is the way to be strong
thank you!
Thank you so much ❤️
Any time!
adoption is traumatic for babies. let alone for a 9 year old, especially a 9 year old from a foreign country coming to a new environment. so not only did you have a traumatic experience when your grandmother died you had a traumatic experience of being adopted into a family and moving countries. I'm not surprised that you have trauma from that. what I wanna know is how your adoptive parents didnt realize that....i am glad you got the help you need now! i feel for you and I am glad to learn more about the trauma that comes from adoption from your point of view!
thank you
You are so pretty
Thank you!
Adoption is just a peace of paper. When you take care of a child, they become yours. I mean like biological. Having a good family is most important. Your parents like you also have emotions. When you marry and have your biological children, that is when you understand the pressure of taking care of children. Let bygones be bygones. 80% of parents that adopt are the sweetest people. They took you when your biological parents gave up on you. When they refused to face reality, some people were ready to processed that. The future is what matters.
I think it may be difficult for those who feel abandoned to let “bygones be bygones “ . When we have this perspective , it negates the adoptees feelings and doesn’t create a safe space for them to explore their feelings about adoption . This is coming from someone who is adopted . My adoptive mother is EXCELLENT but it doesn’t take that pain away . Thanks for your comment though, as I do hear this often .
Thank you for your video.
We Ethiopians have no clue about adoption especially the one that are living in Ethiopia. We don't think other people will be so cruel and evil to children's. But the Ethiopian that live abroad we know how other people can be so cruel to children, especially to African children.. me and others Ethiopians we Fight Night and Day to shutdown Ethiopian adoption because the adoption in
Ethiopia was not good. It's not good for the children and it's not good for the parents and families. Adoption in Ethiopia has brought so much pain and 😢grief Ethiopian mothers and fathers. It was documentary that the children in the Ethiopian was stolen by the orphanage .. the parent has left the children in the orphanage to be taken care of but when they came back to take their children they were gone .. their were mothers who killed himself because their children were disappeared .. a lot of crime has been committed against Ethiopians by the adoption industry but thank God is shut down now..be strong and believe in the Lord Jesus because he is faithful God and best friend you can have that Will Never Let You Down. God bless you ❤️ 🙏 🙌
I am adopted and it's not easy at times
No it’s not…
Very, very similar story.
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I would be happy if you could advise me, as I am ready to go the passive income path.
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I like your hair. I wish mine to grow longer like that
I'm not sure all Africans view America as heaven. I'm African and grew up viewing America as dangerous and racist due to the endless violence and racism depicted in hollywood films and the Civil rights centered films about people like Medgar Evers, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, etc. I decided very early that America was a place I would not want to live in, although I was enthralled by the ivy league universities and their reputations.
I’m African and the MAJORITY does. 90% does. Get off your plane in an African continent and see how the African people greet you. AFRICANS THINK AMERICA IS EASY AND HEAVEN.
I have thought about adoption but after listening to your thoughts some others also I dont think it's worth it. Because you want to help the less fortunate but if they are affected in a negative way then its not worth it. So I wont consider adopting anymore. It seems like unessasery stress for person doing the adoption. Because you are only trying to do something nice to help but then if the child is unhappy it's better to leave them in the situation that they're in then! It seems like taking them out of that environment will only cause depression for them.
Your story comes accross as cold, as doing adoptees a favour
Hmm but you are not just adopting to be nice🙄🤐🤐 adoption means you get to be loved back and given a title as a mother. adoption is not a one way win. The adoptee is not a saviour.
I want to adopt a baby less trauma for them this makes me so sad
its actually just as traumatic to adopt infants and babies if not moreso.
That's the thing. Adopted kids might idealize biological families but they can be just as damaging.
Do you have your biological parents name? Please contact EBS ethiopian tv show they are helping to help a lot of people together contact them people out their to try to find their children.
You’re BEAUTIFUL 😍 😅
I know this video is old but I hope u see this comment because you mentioned something I've been dying to pick someone's brain about, especially because you remember being taught about America and coming here. Why do so many foreigners from so many countries all around the world have this view of life in America? The consensus I have gathered from immigrants (my mom is one and my husband is one but they can't even answer this question for me!) is that people think that all you need to do is arrive in America and suddenly you will just be rich. They don't realize how hard americans have to work to have the big house or whatever it is and that not everyone has a life like that. Also, our food is not any good compared to other countries...now is mass produced basically cardboard seen as a sign of wealth? Lastly, I'm pretty well traveled and life in america is so BORING and lonely compared to other countries. What looks to be so appealing to foreigners about life here, that they perceive they can buy a huge house and just sit in it alone all day? Doesn't the life here look boring and lonely to them? People separated by large homes, no life out there on the street, nothing much going on in public areas, not very walkable, boring and sad looking (lack of color, etc) architecture. Is it Hollywood that made America seem appealing? Is it all because of tv and movieS? Which movies and tv shows painted the picture of such a life in America, and what about it stood out to foreigners that made them think life here was so great? Thanks so much!
Also you look like Genzebe Dibaba
Ahh No way! She’s so pretty
First world 🌎 problem move forward with your life yes get that mental health of yours checked seriously cause ...you are privileged you are not seeing your blessing...to be in your situation..so if you are depressed from all the trauma from childhood why not count your blessings of not being in that situation anymore... do you want to return to Ethiopia then do it cause clearly you need a reality check ...if you were adopted by cruel people jus imagine what you woul be saying 😮... someone else would love to be as privileged as you ..help someone and stop the ungratefulness vhange your mental thought pattern
I often wonder how traumatic it is for a child used to living around people that look like them and coming into a very white world...nice things and plenty of food are not the same as having bio family around....but it is what it is....adoption is surely more positive for the little child over living in poverty with bio family passing away.
You still sound like you are dissociative.....have you explored that part at all? It may be worth looking into
I know my father and mother, but im still depressed !!! what's ur excuse again ???
Who made you the validator of reasons? The audacity.
Are you done....
@@daisiesandpandas1218 right. What a waste of space
I'm sorry l have to say ... WILL YOU PLEASE LET THE POOR GUY TALK AND SHUT UP! MYy GOD. U TALK WAY TO MUCH!
1st world problems. Weak western mindset. I get it, good to talk about, but you really think living in an African orphanage... the chances you would even be alive right now. The fact that this is one of your biggest issues means your life is pretty good.
This isn’t your life. Shut the fuck up. I don’t even think you watch her video. You’re stupid