My transphobic dad just saw I was watching this but couldn't hear anything cause I have headphones and he said: what a nice girl, who is she? And I was like HUEHUEHUE
Hey everyone! I just wanted to put a disclaimer out there, based on some of the feedback I have received from this video. I DO NOT support ageism and nor do I have anything against couples with large age gaps. I am aware the man in the thumbnail is not a typical looking 43-year-old, I simply used the image for comedic purposes, as I gathered most of you would understand. For me personally, having a first date that included a man who was 23 years older than me was uncomfortable purely from a maturity standpoint. I was not prepared for this encounter, and I felt very vulnerable as this was only my second date ever. I only share these story time videos as a way to raise awareness about the dangers in dating, and in the hopes for others to learn from my mistakes. It's also not ok for certain individuals to label me as an ageist hypocrite based on the fact that I am transgender, and therefore must fit some kind of "all-accepting-standard" anymore than a cisgender person. In addition, I did not EVER judge this man who told me he was 43. It was he who expressed his discomfort at our age gap several times throughout the evening, to which I responded with nothing but kind reassurance so as to divert his feelings of awkwardness. I apologize if I have offended any 43-year-olds watching this video, but it is my preference to date people closer to my age. I did not sign up for this encounter and I believe my reaction is justified. To me there is definitely a power dynamic difference based on age, and I felt intimidated in this moment, and my feelings should not be invalidated by accusations of ageism. Thanks for taking the time to read my response, and I hope you can better understand my reasoning. Maya xx
+Maya I'm a 45 year old cisgender woman. I was doing online dating and hookup things long before there were apps and iPhones, but some things have not changed. There are exceptions to this, but in general, the only thing a guy my age wants from a person your age is sex-- transgender, gay, straight, whatever. Second, try to limit your chemical intake around people you've just met. Get something with ice, drink it down halfway, then order another and let the ice melt. This way you can go along to get along, but still have your wits about you. If you don't want to drink, tell them it makes you throw up. Everybody hates vomit and most people will stop pressuring you to join them if you tell them you'll barf all over the table. You might also tell the server ahead of time to bring you non-alcoholic cocktails regardless of what is ordered so you can keep up a facade. Last I would advise you to have someone know where you are and what you are doing-- not just for safety, but to give you some kind of bailout call or text if you need or want it, and someone who can come and get you if you are leaving alone. The next time someone acts like this, LEAVE regardless of their age and make sure they don't follow you. I don't think you are an ageist hypocrite at all. I think you just got caught in an awkward situation that could have happened no matter what age the guy was. You are far more mature than he was or will ever be.
Hi Maya! Sorry you had to explain yourself. I know the video pic was purely for comedic value, but some people like to take everything seriously. I think because the video's attracting a lot of outside attention from new viewers, that's why you're getting more troll and hateful comments. Hope that doesn't discourage you from making more videos :( Always enjoy your videos!
+Maya Keep trying, you'll find a cool person eventually. My friend met a girl on the internet and they're getting married next month, so you never know.
+Maya Honestly if they're that stupid to bitch about age when you merely acted on your human instincts it's on them. If they're that stupid and didn't get the story once again it's on them and you shouldn't be apologizing for their incompetence. I'm a straight guy with long hair, i like long hair, but that doesn't save me from being judged by people on the street. I don't blame them from having a natural reaction on a subjective matter known as beauty. I've received compliments, I've heard some trash talk about me behind my back and i couldn't give a fuck less. Would you call this "Hair-ism"? i think not. It wasn't "Ageism" (this god awful PC language is making me want to participate in a involuntary protein spill a.k.a vomit) We've downgraded from having some sort of mental condition to being offended by anything at anytime, fucking hell.
+Maya Don't feel the need to indulge the offended idiots by apologizing for your preferences. Most of the people who are calling you out are people who are searching for something to be offended about. Even if the thing they're offended about has nothing to do with them.You do you. And you keep making your videos and exercising your right to speak freely. Screw everyone else.
Sweetie, as a 43 year old "middle aged" woman, I need to tell you this. Nobody can force you to drink. They can pressure you, but not force you. Also, never get drunk when you are nearing someone new. I don't know how you got home, but what would you have done if he followed you? You could have gotten really hurt. Consider yourself lucky, but be more protective of yourself next time.
+Marci Konopa _I need to tell you this. Nobody can force you to drink. They can pressure you, but not force you._ Thank god. I really thought this would not be in the comments section.
Please, please, please be careful out there! Please don't meet people for the first time in bars by yourself. I suggest you meet first to have coffee or lunch during day with lots of people around. It is so dangerous out there and people could really take advantage of your sweetness. Please stay safe!!!🙏✌️😍
@steven roscoe SOME men do assault women. Telling women to take safety precautions is not objectifying men. From the description of the date the guy was a liar and a creep. Then again TINDER? She really does deserve better.
I didn't say it was ok, I'm only pointing out what exists. All kind of evil exists. Why the fuck are you saying I came up with this or condone it? There's a huge human trafficking syndicate providing that age group btw. I don't advocate that either.
I've had guys tell me they want to rape me. And dudes that force feed me liquor hoping for sex. It's so fucking scary what men think they're entitled to and what predators will do to women, especially if you're trans.
I'm not being rude, but u have to be more careful. it's not a good idea to drink when ur on a first date. u have to protect yourself. I hope u didn't drive home.
+vanessa issaka My thoughts exactly! Was just about to say that when I saw your comment. Luckily for her, she wasn't too drunk and was still able to look out for herself, but a few more drinks and who knows what could've happen. She shouldn't have put herself in that risky situation with a total stranger. Furthermore, I was surprised she even gave this date a go, with everything looking so sketchy right from the start, she should've just bailed, but each to it's own I guess.
Kyle D I agree! It's s dangerous out there. It was dangerous when I was dating years ago but it's way worse now. Ppl have to be afraid to dress a certain wY now a days or even walk out their front door, depending on where they my live.
I am 63 years old man. I want to say that if I was 25 again I would love to meet you. You are a strong, attractive, and intelligent female. Hang in there because you have so much going for you. You have so much to offer someone that is deserving. Have a wonderful life.
+Elina Olegovna Obeh Why would you call me a pervert? I have raised 7 kids, 6 girls and 1 boy. They have all turned out good. One daughter is gay. I am very sympathetic to gays and transgenders. I was giving the girl a compliment. I know you don't understand that an older man can give compliments unless they are a pervert. I pity you.
+Elina Olegovna Obeh You are just a little hate filled idiot. She never uses the term lesbian. She just says she is gay if she ever mentions it. Am I not politically correct by using the term gay. So what she is gay. Your opinion doesn't matter.
Maya, on a first date always have someone near you for support and rescue from a situation like this. Maybe a friend who is in the same bar in eyeshot you can give a look to and he/she comes over and assists you in getting out of there. Another option a friend who will call at certain predetermined times asking you how things are going and if you say a predetermined code word will either pick you up or arrange for someone to do so. This could have gone so bad for you. Two guys in bar with one girl they're forcing to consume alcohol.......AARRRGGGHHH!! You are so lucky they didn't slip a roofie into your drinks. ALWAYS, ALWAYS have an escape plan and exit strategy!!
That was creepy :( Older men giving you drinks? Forcing you to take shots? "I wanna take advantage of you"?? Please stay safe next time, something really bad could've happened :(((
+flokwiatkowska - People should be careful no matter what age group they date. I'm assuming you're telling her to be careful because he was an older man, and if that's why you said it, it shows denial that young people can and do actually do crazy shit too. I'm older and my last two long term relationships were with younger early 20's and they were as normal/typical as any other relationship. We've got to get it out of our heads that age has something to do with a person being potentially dangerous. If the man is a potential danger at 43, he most likely was the same at 23. We don't know his relationship/dating history.
Phil Maestro noo I didn't mean because he was older at all! It;s just dangerous to get drunk with two strange men, and it seems like he was trying to make her drink as much as possible. He was acting inappropriately too, I would be really scared...
+flokwiatkowska - Yes, her story (as I continued listening) was a scary one. However, she used click bait to watch her video by announcing the older man's age in the headline and for most of the braindead drama queens and keyboard warriors who frequent TH-cam, they will ignore that there was a young 26 yr old in the mix being just as predatory. I'm glad at least someone else (you) realizes that age has nothing to do with danger. It comes in all age groups. I dated older when I was younger and I was more afraid of the young people in my neighborhood as I walk down the street than I'd ever been with the older person I was going to meet up with.
+Phil Maestro Dude , I'm not even sure how you read that into what was commented . even if it was in a topic of the video being commented about . If I had to put money on it , I’d bet you actually do have an issue with age when you say it is not . . just based on your projection of flokwiatkowska 's comment .
+beth magelaner She is still so young and naive. Poor thing. I was like "omg run, 2 guys who give you beers and wanna do shots!", stuff like this hardly ever ends well. So glad she is safe.
Meeting people for the first time on your own is a VERY bad idea, especially if they attempt to get you intoxicated and are openly making sexual innuendos. For your own safety NEVER go anywhere unfamiliar with people like this and when you get that strange feeling in your gut about someone, LISTEN to it. There are very real dangers out there including and much worse than sexual assault.
+Martin Kingston Exactly....I do not understand this video at all....there were obvious signs and she brought it upon herself by just deciding to meet someone she knew nothing about. If you DO decide to do that then you take precautions...if you don't take those precautions...WHAT DO YOU EXPECT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I mean this video is basically just explaining cause and effect and showing how not having common sense gets you in tricky situations.
I can't believe you think 30 or 40 is old to date! Most of my friends are in their mid to late 30s and are dating guys in their early 20s. I think that's totally normal especially if the older guy is good-looking and successful. I'm 38 and 95% of the guys who hit on me are 10+ years younger. It sounds like in your situation this particular guy was really inappropriate. Not all older guys are though
The first red flag should have been being "forced" to drink Sambuca shots - honey no one can force you - you should never feel obligated or guilty. If someone is pressuring you into drinking early on they clearly have an agenda. NEVER drink something you don't want to or feel obligated to drink something because they paid for it. It is important especially on a first meeting - to not put yourself in a position where you are not thinking clearly or have impaired judgement. I hope if this happens in the future you can simply tell them that you are not comfortable being pressured into taking shots and decline. That being said - you are absolutely adorable :) I hope future dates go a bit better for you ;)
Damn... That's so crazy. Maya you need to be careful. I hate to say it but there are even worse guys than those lurking on tinder and sites like that...
I don't want to come of as rude or disrespectful but you take way too many risks my dear. Drinking more than one glass of alcohol on a first date, ignoring red flags and giving into pressure from perverts. You gotta be more careful because if this continues things could end up very badly for you and i would hate to see something happen to you.
+TheIcelandicPrincess Yea, anti trans crimes are really common, she gotta be careful. Rules of going on dates: Meet the person 1 on 1 in a public place with a friend being nearby to check the situation out from afar. Or keep correspondence with a friend via the phone. Always carry pepper spray too, you cant ever be to save. Better save than sorry. Dont overdo it with alcohol, drink non alcohol beverages to be on the save side. This goes for men and women. Stay safe everyone, and Maya, dont get into these kind of things like that anymore please.
zallow Bars are fine, just go with someone else and always keep in contact with someone. Dont drink too much and dont take drinks you didnt see someone pour.
bullshit... if you have any intentions... or if you can tell he has intentions.,.. then yes... you are MORALLY obligated NOT to damage someone else with such a shocking revelation. YES dumbsheets... YOU ARE YOUR BROTHERS KEEPER!
You are obligated to tell someone you are interested in. There are men who want to have babies with the woman they marry. You don't want to waste their time.
"I felt bad because he kept buying me beers..." That was the point of him buying you beers - then you'll feel like you "owe" him something. Always insist on going dutch on first dates. If they STILL get pushy to pay for your drinks, that's not sincere generosity, that's a red flag they're manipulative. And for those who may reply, "that's not always true"... no, it is most certainly ALWAYS true. Considerate people will respect that boundary, that you want to pay your own way, and won't pressure you. Whether they want sex, your admiration/gratitude for their "generosity", or something else entirely, it's manipulative and they're making it "all about them" with zero consideration for your feelings. Proceed with great caution. The pressuring behavior is likely to get worse, not better.
That's so sad but you are right on. All of that is exactly correct. Maybe I'm different but I'm really good at maintaining my line in the sand. When someone steps over my boundaries, they get 1 reminder. Do it again, and that's the end of the conversation. We're done. I leave or they leave. Buh bye. This isn't baseball. You don't get 3 strikes.
+Maya hi,i have some interesting question for you and would like to talk little about this tell me what you think about gay guys,what is the story about them,are they SICK,WEAK IN MIND,OR IT IS JUST OK TO BE GAY(like everyone should choose which person to love and which sex) so what do you think about this?which from this three is your opinion or there is something else i see that you are smart person by looking the way you talking and moving,so i know you will answer mature on this
Next time you go on a date with someone you have never met, get a friend to stay somewhere close to where you are meeting the person and text them if this stuff happens so they can come save you :) Or have them call you and then say you have an emergency and you have to leave!!
+salman sultane I'll have to disagree with you. I met my husband of three years on an RPGMMO. I think it is okay to meet people in real life that you have met online but I also think that precautions should be taken whenever you do.
Eck! this was so gross to hear, i hate when people think they can just pressure people to do shit. without trying to victim blame, people need to start realizing that literally anyone you met could be a creep (not just strangers either) and to keep your wits about you, that means not getting drunk, and saying NO! when ever you feel you need to as its your right. Scumbags are everywhere and its a shame.
Another suggestion, maybe dumb, but when I used to date I found the bar, club scene not conducive to getting to know someone, so I got the idea of dating people in a different way. Instead of bars and clubs, I'd go to a museum, go for a bike ride together, go to a fair--browsing arts and craft and so on, drive to a small quaint town and explore. Movies and dining out worked better after we were more comfortable with each other. Well, you get the idea. Also, always better on a first date if you both meet at the place so you are not dependent on them to be driven home. Meeting people is tough. You go through a dozen until you find a good and attractive person. Most of the time, you meet them when you least expect it, not necessarily when you are looking. Bon chance. :-)
Repeat after me: "I don't owe men shit. I don't owe men shit." If somebody buys you a drink, that's their decision. Hell, if they buy you 5-course meal and a bottle of champagne, you still don't owe them shit, except a "thank you". That kind of behavior - giving you something so that you feel indebted and not because they want to do something nice for you is a huge red flag. I'm not even gonna go into the fact that those "gifts" have the dual purpose of lowering your inhibitions and making you vulnerable. Of course, women are trained by society to feel obligated to offer sexual access in those situations (it doesn't matter that you're trans - you still got the same messages of how you "should" act as a woman when you were growing up!) even if men don't treat it as a transaction. So pay attention if those kind of thoughts come up and if somebody tries to elicit them in you. You don't owe anybody shit. We women are also trained to be nice and polite so people will like us. We are trained to stop listening to the inner voice that tells us to run, lest we offend somebody. Fuck that! I'm sure you are aware of the statistics, how common experiencing sexual violence is for women and how much worse it is for transwomen. If you can get your hands on it, read "The gift of fear". Always put your safety and comfort first. Everyone who doesn't respect that isn't worth a second of your time. Our fucked-up society teaches men that sex is something they are supposed to "get" from women instead of something people choose to explore together. It encourages coercion and manipulation (like "negging"). It paints world in really bleak colors. I'm afraid that as a young and beautiful trans girl you'll meet plenty of frogs (=creeps, manipulators, chasers). Just remember. You don't have to kiss them. They will not turn into a prince. Leave them in the shit creek where they belong.
Marta Jaworska sounds like you don’t know men very well. We are all people, no? Learning mutual respect for other fellow human beings is important regardless of gender or identity etc. peace
Thank you for sharing your experience about this. It definitely does give awareness of how meeting someone can be for anyone. I did not see any problem with how you described anyone and also how you described how you felt in this situation. Never apologize for how something made you feel uncomfortable. People need to keep an open mind when listening to someone and they need to judge less. You are a beautiful person inside and out. Stay safe!
You´re lucky he was honest with you....and you had a choice.Otherwise it would have been a different history.You have to be careful with guys you don´t know from anywhere!Always tell someone where you are Maya!
I just watched a few of your videos and must say, If I was a person who was scared and confused about how they feel about themselves and their gender, you have been the best I've seen in educating them and making them feel normal as they should. Your simple and honest expression of what you have gone through and what you share because of that is a blessing. Thank you young lady for being you.
Be careful Maya , there are sexual predators out there don't understand when to back off , when I was in my 20's I was continually mistaken for a girl/woman. Most guys who approached me disappeared quickly when they discovered the truth , however I had a guy in his late 50's spike my drink and put extreme pressure on me to go back to his place , luckily my friend was there to get me out of the situation. Trust your gut instinct Maya , if the situation doesn't feel right , it's probably not.
It's easy to monday morning quarterback, but 3 rules come to mind: 1) no one is worth waiting 20 min for 2) no one who shows up with a friend unannounced is worth your time and 3) the first mention of "equipment" is time to leave. I'm a cis gender GF to a transitioning grandkid. I gave her this same advice. I LOVE YOUR WORK. Thank you for all that you do.
This was like the first video from you I watched but I was drawn in for some reason. Like, I felt like you were literally talking to me, as if we were in the same room. It was weird, but nice.
My concern about you in regards to this video and your other date video is that you do not practice safety when on dates. Meeting people from online can be dangerous enough, but drinking to where you feel drunk or getting in a car with someone you don't know is not looking out for your well-being. I know you are inexperienced when it comes to dating, but these are things you should be aware of. Not everyone can be trusted and just because they say they are okay with you being transgender doesn't mean that they really are. There are cruel and dangerous people out there and I just hope you, and everyone else in the dating world, take better precautions to ensure your safety. Best wishes to you.
Well said. I got really nervous when she said these guys were forcing her to take shots. No one is "obligated" to see a first date through (let alone kiss them or doing anything sexual) if they feel endangered. I love Maya and hope she stays safe!
I reccommend doing activities for dates. Coffee or a meal is pretty tired. I've had the best dates doing things like painting and board games. I have a pretty long list of activities to pick from so it's easy to get a buy in for something, and then they know they can just have fun if the attraction part doesn't work. Good luck to you in dating.
Excellent advice! Like a cooking class or maybe an art class or something like that. Meeting a guy for the first time at a bar was big mistake. Hopefully Maya you learned from this, at 20yoa you are still quite young and didn't know what to expect. You also must appreciate that when someone has a few drinks they become a different person.
"Interesting" experience? "Strange" experience? I like your stories and all Maya, but you just didn't seem to be aware of the severity of this situation in your re-telling; the things he was saying, the way he was behaving, and what he wanted to do to you... It was all way beyond interesting or strange. I'm not trying to be rude or mean, it just got me really worried for your safety. I hope this never happens again, please take care
+Kendra Masonchuck Yeah, she seems a little too naive about this. She could have been taken advantage off and gotten hurt or even killed. Trans people get killed in massive numbers as it is.
well although she is now a she and identifies as a woman, she grew up in a boys world for the most part and im sure she still has a male sense. i could be 100% wrong but im guessing her perspective on the situation came somewhere from her experiences growing up? just maybe?
DirkAustin well then why does everyone think she should take it more seriously? Because shes a woman? Like whats the reason for thinking a certain way in certain situations? I think most of us get our rationale from past experiences and the way we were raised. I know its not that way for everyone, obviously life isnt a "one size fits all" type deal, but i was speculating. I did not say i was right or that was the ultimate truth. I was just stating maybe thats how she feels because of her past.
43 is not ,,”’middle aged,”’ it is the perfect age you can hit on anyone from 20 till 60, it is ageless in a way. Mildly attracted as you state. He just had the wrong talk imo.
***** : Check again. He is saying that he wants to have sex with her. Him just saying that does not force Maya to do anything. She could have left the bar at any time, and eventually she did.
all the people commenting about her being ageist have obviously never been in the same situation. People are allowed to have preferences, especially if the guy claimed to be younger and lied about his age. You start to wonder what else they're going to lie about. Maya, you did absolutely nothing wrong and shouldn't have to apologize.
I'm sorry that you were treated like that by people of my gender. Truly they have not absorbed any of the rules of politeness given by their parents. Thanks for sharing. If I ever meet someone trans, I hope they are as bright and articulate as you are
when I'm single and am dating I never do liquor, night outings. I always meet them , go to lunch, dinner or something where there are a lot of people in the day time.
A real man would not have treated you like that no matter if he's young or old. A real man treats a woman with respect. As a older man I can tell you by experience with dating I like to get to know a woman. So not all older men are the same and by the way like your videos.
Downside of being a woman... You have to deal with pigs like that once in a while... gross... you're so pretty and nice that you will find a decent guy in no time :)
+Ord Grill _Downside of being a woman... You have to deal with pigs like that once in a while... gross..._ Being a guy myself, I have to say you would be surprised how gross some girls are as well. Do everyone a favor and do not think "dealing with gross people" is the sole domain of women.
***** personally i don't really care what she calls herself. if she wants to be a girl, act like a girl, dress like a girl, but still has a dick, it is not really my problem. As long as she is honest before initiating any sort of personal contact, It is not like she is hurting anybody by calling herself a woman/girl/platypus.
+Livthru I'm a woman, and I agree completely. Because of feminism and them being brainwashed by trashy popstars like Nicki Minaj who taught them that acting like the worst men is cool for a woman, a lot of girls of the new generation have become awful.
Livthru Not at all do i think is a "women vs men" issue ... I'm sure there are plenty of women like that unfortunately. My comment was stated that way because she is going out with guys.
I admire your bravery in sharing your journey not an easy thing to do opening yourself for criticism beyond your own circle. You look stunning and from watching your videos your beauty is your soul not your appearence.
Ok listen to the people saying she's a hypocrite: she was straight forward about her age and sexuality, he lied about his age to her! If she doesn't want to date older people that's her choice?
Your genitals are your business. I hate when people say trans people are "lying and tricking and deceiving" men. Like what, she tricked you into being attracted to her and then you found out she's trans and now you're freaking out? That's called transphobia.
+doombuggy123 I agree, and in this case, he tricked her by making her think he might be a decent individual. I'm glad she is OK and did the smart thing.
Way too dangerous, what you did... Please, next time two guys instead of just the one you have a date with show up, bugger off! Also you drinking behavior is not safe with ppl you don't know - not even having mentioned the knockout drops , they could have put in your drink. Girl, please be more cautious next time!
You are a very beautiful young lady. That man was being such a pig. Asking if you have a D*** and then making these advances was just wrong. You should not have felt guilty about him buying you drinks, BUT you need to be careful when you go to the bathroom, as someone you don't know can slip something into your drink! There are a lot of creeps out there!
should've told him to his face he was being rude, if he got violent or angry (not saying that it's reasonable for him to be that way) I'm sure people would back you up.
Love you Maya, I'm a Cis Pano chic but love hearing about your experiences with dating and everything. Very informative. The trans community is like a flower garden. So very beautiful :)
Maya you gotta be careful! So many red flags were going up when you were talking about this... Don't let someone make you feel guilty because they bought you drinks and don't drink just because you feel obligated to!
Advice First, never meet someone you done already know alone. Bring a friend. Second, first meeting is never in a bar. It sends the wrong message. Like wearing a sign that says - Hey, I'm easy. Third, pepper spray at the ready. And finally, you MUST have an escape plan. At least have 911 on speed dial. Girl, take care! It's dangerous out there.
What a story, Maya! So scary. I would be scared to be a victim of knockout drops in those drinks. This danger is real out there. You are really brave, please be careful. You deserve much better.
+randomuser1105 Has nothing to do with "handling"...it has to do with a completely different perspective and approach to life. Most over 40 women are settling into aging and the predictable, mundane life that comes with it. Forget the looks of younger women; at least the young ones have more zest for life and are in tune with modern culture, etc. I'd know, I've dated both, and I won't date my age or older ever again (and I"ve had ltr with two women 7+yrs older than me...never again).
Regardless of age, your date was a total jerk. It is so rude for any guy to view women as objects. What he tried with the kiss was creepy and the nerve to ask you about your D?!? I'll be looking forward to hearing about a date that went well.
I just wanted to say i love your channel Maya. I've not transitioned full time yet, but its nice to hear your personal experiences post transition x :)
You're young. You're gonna learn over time, no matter how many times you tell someone clearly "I'm not looking to date right now", or anything similar, it will never sink in. I have tried so hard to protect others feelings, but they they still try and get upset when you reject them. They whole thing in frustrating.
Sweetheart, oh my god, this freaked me the hell out! I know you were posting this because you want other people to learn from your mistakes, but I also hope you do; you're way too sweet to let yourself be treated like shit just because some guy is paying for your drinks or whatever. Don't ever feel like you're obligated to stay in a situation that you are intimidated by, uncomfortable with, and/or generally not enjoying. So many red flags: The constant drinks, forcing those shots, the repulsive things he said to you about taking advantage of you and repeatedly asking you about sex-related things, the fact that he was as late as he was and brought someone else... all of it is weird and scary as hell, and not what you need or deserve from anyone, let alone someone you were hoping might be potential boyfriend material. You are totally allowed to leave as soon as you want to, to call a friend or family member or someone you trust for help, hell you can even tell someone else at the bar that you're uncomfortable like the bartender or some other woman or whoever. Point is: Just get out of there if you don't want to be there. You seem like an absolutely lovely woman. Please, PLEASE don't become one of those statistics because of something as minuscule as who picked up the check. *offers virtual hug*
+Arijeet Das Look, no decent people care that you're offended enough to try and take the attention away from the old(for her) sketchy lying pervs in this story. I don't know if that's your age too so you're needlessly offended or what's going on, but stop. Sorry if you thought the funny pic in the thumbnail was supposed to be an accurate representation of anything, but it's very clear it wasn't. And also, to answer your frankly silly question, both Brad Pitt and George Clooney are men in their 50s. They're my parents age. I thought they were attractive...in their movies from 20 years ago. And the vast majority of women in their 20's are not interested in men old enough to be their fathers. Hollywood movies are lying to you. Old dudes aren't a hot commodity for all age groups, nor should they be. So next time, when you of your own free will decide to listen to someone tell a story of something sketchy that happened to them you could try to be compassionate instead of showing everyone your insecurities. It sucks that what you wrote is the only thing you got out of this story. Check yourself.
![PASULOL รามเกียรติ์ ตอนที่ 4 นนทกพบรัก [Ramakien Ep.4: Nonthok in love]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tMUQgmZzf_A/mqdefault.jpg)
My transphobic dad just saw I was watching this but couldn't hear anything cause I have headphones and he said: what a nice girl, who is she? And I was like HUEHUEHUE
LMFAO
+Miru Bauer lol!
+Miru Bauer
ask him if he wants to meet her :D
+Miru Bauer what the fuck is transphobic?
+Rewjik
it's a fear of being raped by a trans
Hey everyone!
I just wanted to put a disclaimer out there, based on some of the feedback I have received from this video. I DO NOT support ageism and nor do I have anything against couples with large age gaps. I am aware the man in the thumbnail is not a typical looking 43-year-old, I simply used the image for comedic purposes, as I gathered most of you would understand. For me personally, having a first date that included a man who was 23 years older than me was uncomfortable purely from a maturity standpoint. I was not prepared for this encounter, and I felt very vulnerable as this was only my second date ever.
I only share these story time videos as a way to raise awareness about the dangers in dating, and in the hopes for others to learn from my mistakes. It's also not ok for certain individuals to label me as an ageist hypocrite based on the fact that I am transgender, and therefore must fit some kind of "all-accepting-standard" anymore than a cisgender person. In addition, I did not EVER judge this man who told me he was 43. It was he who expressed his discomfort at our age gap several times throughout the evening, to which I responded with nothing but kind reassurance so as to divert his feelings of awkwardness.
I apologize if I have offended any 43-year-olds watching this video, but it is my preference to date people closer to my age. I did not sign up for this encounter and I believe my reaction is justified. To me there is definitely a power dynamic difference based on age, and I felt intimidated in this moment, and my feelings should not be invalidated by accusations of ageism.
Thanks for taking the time to read my response, and I hope you can better understand my reasoning.
Maya xx
+Maya I'm a 45 year old cisgender woman. I was doing online dating and hookup things long before there were apps and iPhones, but some things have not changed. There are exceptions to this, but in general, the only thing a guy my age wants from a person your age is sex-- transgender, gay, straight, whatever. Second, try to limit your chemical intake around people you've just met. Get something with ice, drink it down halfway, then order another and let the ice melt. This way you can go along to get along, but still have your wits about you. If you don't want to drink, tell them it makes you throw up. Everybody hates vomit and most people will stop pressuring you to join them if you tell them you'll barf all over the table. You might also tell the server ahead of time to bring you non-alcoholic cocktails regardless of what is ordered so you can keep up a facade. Last I would advise you to have someone know where you are and what you are doing-- not just for safety, but to give you some kind of bailout call or text if you need or want it, and someone who can come and get you if you are leaving alone. The next time someone acts like this, LEAVE regardless of their age and make sure they don't follow you. I don't think you are an ageist hypocrite at all. I think you just got caught in an awkward situation that could have happened no matter what age the guy was. You are far more mature than he was or will ever be.
Hi Maya! Sorry you had to explain yourself. I know the video pic was purely for comedic value, but some people like to take everything seriously. I think because the video's attracting a lot of outside attention from new viewers, that's why you're getting more troll and hateful comments. Hope that doesn't discourage you from making more videos :( Always enjoy your videos!
+Maya Keep trying, you'll find a cool person eventually. My friend met a girl on the internet and they're getting married next month, so you never know.
+Maya
Honestly if they're that stupid to bitch about age when you merely acted on your human instincts it's on them. If they're that stupid and didn't get the story once again it's on them and you shouldn't be apologizing for their incompetence. I'm a straight guy with long hair, i like long hair, but that doesn't save me from being judged by people on the street. I don't blame them from having a natural reaction on a subjective matter known as beauty. I've received compliments, I've heard some trash talk about me behind my back and i couldn't give a fuck less.
Would you call this "Hair-ism"? i think not.
It wasn't "Ageism" (this god awful PC language is making me want to participate in a involuntary protein spill a.k.a vomit)
We've downgraded from having some sort of mental condition to being offended by anything at anytime, fucking hell.
+Maya Don't feel the need to indulge the offended idiots by apologizing for your preferences. Most of the people who are calling you out are people who are searching for something to be offended about. Even if the thing they're offended about has nothing to do with them.You do you. And you keep making your videos and exercising your right to speak freely. Screw everyone else.
Sweetie, as a 43 year old "middle aged" woman, I need to tell you this. Nobody can force you to drink. They can pressure you, but not force you. Also, never get drunk when you are nearing someone new. I don't know how you got home, but what would you have done if he followed you? You could have gotten really hurt. Consider yourself lucky, but be more protective of yourself next time.
+Marci Konopa
Maya not that intelligent, like a lot of folk... plus she needs a good story for the filth that is youtube.
This is really true !! 😔 be careful people!!
+Marci Konopa _I need to tell you this. Nobody can force you to drink. They can pressure you, but not force you._
Thank god. I really thought this would not be in the comments section.
Please, please, please be careful out there! Please don't meet people for the first time in bars by yourself. I suggest you meet first to have coffee or lunch during day with lots of people around. It is so dangerous out there and people could really take advantage of your sweetness. Please stay safe!!!🙏✌️😍
Be careful, have a plan, make sure a friend knows where you are, and please don't drink and drive.
@steven roscoe what?
@steven roscoe ok
@steven roscoe SOME men do assault women. Telling women to take safety precautions is not objectifying men. From the description of the date the guy was a liar and a creep. Then again TINDER? She really does deserve better.
@steven roscoe Are you saying that if you buy a woman some beer she owes you sex?
Age doesn't matter... if you're rich.
+Jeremy Feit Age doesn't matter within reason, money or not.
+Jeremy age matters, so it's ok for a rich old man to date a 12 year old
I didn't say it was ok, I'm only pointing out what exists. All kind of evil exists. Why the fuck are you saying I came up with this or condone it? There's a huge human trafficking syndicate providing that age group btw. I don't advocate that either.
i know i was just kidding jeremy but it is wrong you'd agree
+Jeremy Feit Depends on whose age and who's rich.
hahahaha "i wanna take advantage of you" wtffff xDDDD
ikr xD xD
I've had guys tell me they want to rape me. And dudes that force feed me liquor hoping for sex. It's so fucking scary what men think they're entitled to and what predators will do to women, especially if you're trans.
+doombuggy123 trans trany tran ...it means the same thing please get over it
+Dorota Gniadkowska well go find a safe space then ..this is youtube not safe at all
+doombuggy123
I've had women tell me they have rape fantasies then they sleep in my bed as I was studying for med school.
"Dad is that you?" IM DEAD 😂😂😂
+Phuong Quynh haha epic, that guy honestly "CHECKS OUT" huehueh =p
I'm not being rude, but u have to be more careful. it's not a good idea to drink when ur on a first date. u have to protect yourself. I hope u didn't drive home.
+vanessa issaka My thoughts exactly!
Was just about to say that when I saw your comment.
Luckily for her, she wasn't too drunk and was still able to look out for herself, but a few more drinks and who knows what could've happen. She shouldn't have put herself in that risky situation with a total stranger.
Furthermore, I was surprised she even gave this date a go, with everything looking so sketchy right from the start, she should've just bailed, but each to it's own I guess.
Kyle D I agree! It's s dangerous out there. It was dangerous when I was dating years ago but it's way worse now. Ppl have to be afraid to dress a certain wY now a days or even walk out their front door, depending on where they my live.
If it was the man in the picture that brought me to this video then you date a 73 years old man not 43.
I am 63 years old man. I want to say that if I was 25 again I would love to meet you. You are a strong, attractive, and intelligent female. Hang in there because you have so much going for you. You have so much to offer someone that is deserving. Have a wonderful life.
Pervert.
+Elina Olegovna Obeh Why would you call me a pervert? I have raised 7 kids, 6 girls and 1 boy. They have all turned out good. One daughter is gay. I am very sympathetic to gays and transgenders. I was giving the girl a compliment. I know you don't understand that an older man can give compliments unless they are a pervert. I pity you.
+Elina Olegovna Obeh How the hell is he a pervert 😑
Ken Holland Your daughter isn't gay... she's lesbian.
+Elina Olegovna Obeh You are just a little hate filled idiot. She never uses the term lesbian. She just says she is gay if she ever mentions it. Am I not politically correct by using the term gay. So what she is gay. Your opinion doesn't matter.
Maya, on a first date always have someone near you for support and rescue from a situation like this. Maybe a friend who is in the same bar in eyeshot you can give a look to and he/she comes over and assists you in getting out of there. Another option a friend who will call at certain predetermined times asking you how things are going and if you say a predetermined code word will either pick you up or arrange for someone to do so. This could have gone so bad for you. Two guys in bar with one girl they're forcing to consume alcohol.......AARRRGGGHHH!! You are so lucky they didn't slip a roofie into your drinks. ALWAYS, ALWAYS have an escape plan and exit strategy!!
That was creepy :( Older men giving you drinks? Forcing you to take shots? "I wanna take advantage of you"?? Please stay safe next time, something really bad could've happened :(((
For real
Girl, you're lucky it ended the way it ended. Please, be more careful!
+flokwiatkowska - People should be careful no matter what age group they date. I'm assuming you're telling her to be careful because he was an older man, and if that's why you said it, it shows denial that young people can and do actually do crazy shit too.
I'm older and my last two long term relationships were with younger early 20's and they were as normal/typical as any other relationship.
We've got to get it out of our heads that age has something to do with a person being potentially dangerous. If the man is a potential danger at 43, he most likely was the same at 23. We don't know his relationship/dating history.
Phil Maestro noo I didn't mean because he was older at all! It;s just dangerous to get drunk with two strange men, and it seems like he was trying to make her drink as much as possible. He was acting inappropriately too, I would be really scared...
+flokwiatkowska - Yes, her story (as I continued listening) was a scary one. However, she used click bait to watch her video by announcing the older man's age in the headline and for most of the braindead drama queens and keyboard warriors who frequent TH-cam, they will ignore that there was a young 26 yr old in the mix being just as predatory.
I'm glad at least someone else (you) realizes that age has nothing to do with danger. It comes in all age groups. I dated older when I was younger and I was more afraid of the young people in my neighborhood as I walk down the street than I'd ever been with the older person I was going to meet up with.
+Phil Maestro Dude , I'm not even sure how you read that into what was commented . even if it was in a topic of the video being commented about . If I had to put money on it , I’d bet you actually do have an issue with age when you say it is not . . just based on your projection of flokwiatkowska 's comment .
Some people are a little more adventurous. Besides not much can happen in public. especially if there's in house security.
I don't find this funny at all, I don't get why people are laughing. This sounded really dangerous.
+E M M A How?
It's funny because we know, based on her story, that "Steve" was just plain messing with her.
43 year old man.. You make it sound so old.. just wait till you're 40. You'll still feel the same!!
Yeah seriously lol. People can live to...86, 100+!
Too old for her...what would they have in common, lol.
Okay boomer
It is old to her.
slackdave
It's all relative. If you're barely 20 years old 43 seems ancient.
You know what? you are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen
Girl, don't ever "feel bad"! He bought the beers for you with bad intentions.....
+beth magelaner She is still so young and naive. Poor thing. I was like "omg run, 2 guys who give you beers and wanna do shots!", stuff like this hardly ever ends well. So glad she is safe.
+DirkAustin Thought the exact same.
Mira2015 This is why i subbed to her, she needs to hear from experienced people how the world works.
Meeting people for the first time on your own is a VERY bad idea, especially if they attempt to get you intoxicated and are openly making sexual innuendos. For your own safety NEVER go anywhere unfamiliar with people like this and when you get that strange feeling in your gut about someone, LISTEN to it. There are very real dangers out there including and much worse than sexual assault.
+Martin Kingston Exactly....I do not understand this video at all....there were obvious signs and she brought it upon herself by just deciding to meet someone she knew nothing about. If you DO decide to do that then you take precautions...if you don't take those precautions...WHAT DO YOU EXPECT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I mean this video is basically just explaining cause and effect and showing how not having common sense gets you in tricky situations.
I can't believe you think 30 or 40 is old to date! Most of my friends are in their mid to late 30s and are dating guys in their early 20s. I think that's totally normal especially if the older guy is good-looking and successful. I'm 38 and 95% of the guys who hit on me are 10+ years younger. It sounds like in your situation this particular guy was really inappropriate. Not all older guys are though
The first red flag should have been being "forced" to drink Sambuca shots - honey no one can force you - you should never feel obligated or guilty. If someone is pressuring you into drinking early on they clearly have an agenda. NEVER drink something you don't want to or feel obligated to drink something because they paid for it. It is important especially on a first meeting - to not put yourself in a position where you are not thinking clearly or have impaired judgement. I hope if this happens in the future you can simply tell them that you are not comfortable being pressured into taking shots and decline.
That being said - you are absolutely adorable :) I hope future dates go a bit better for you ;)
Damn... That's so crazy.
Maya you need to be careful. I hate to say it but there are even worse guys than those lurking on tinder and sites like that...
Don't go alone on dates, have a friend with you or in a distance to watch you. Cause people are very rude and creepy these days.
I don't want to come of as rude or disrespectful but you take way too many risks my dear.
Drinking more than one glass of alcohol on a first date, ignoring red flags and giving into pressure from perverts.
You gotta be more careful because if this continues things could end up very badly for you and i would hate to see something happen to you.
+TheIcelandicPrincess So true. I am afraid for her o.O
+Claudia Machado Me too.
+TheIcelandicPrincess Yea, anti trans crimes are really common, she gotta be careful.
Rules of going on dates: Meet the person 1 on 1 in a public place with a friend being nearby to check the situation out from afar. Or keep correspondence with a friend via the phone.
Always carry pepper spray too, you cant ever be to save. Better save than sorry.
Dont overdo it with alcohol, drink non alcohol beverages to be on the save side.
This goes for men and women.
Stay safe everyone, and Maya, dont get into these kind of things like that anymore please.
+DirkAustin can't carry pepper spray in Canada, it's illegal. Not going to bars would be a good first step. :)
zallow Bars are fine, just go with someone else and always keep in contact with someone. Dont drink too much and dont take drinks you didnt see someone pour.
If you're not getting into a serious intimate relationship, than you're not obligated to disclose anything.
@etru6 There are guys out there who need to be in prison.
bullshit... if you have any intentions... or if you can tell he has intentions.,.. then yes... you are MORALLY obligated NOT to damage someone else with such a shocking revelation. YES dumbsheets... YOU ARE YOUR BROTHERS KEEPER!
You are obligated to tell someone you are interested in. There are men who want to have babies with the woman they marry. You don't want to waste their time.
"I felt bad because he kept buying me beers..." That was the point of him buying you beers - then you'll feel like you "owe" him something. Always insist on going dutch on first dates. If they STILL get pushy to pay for your drinks, that's not sincere generosity, that's a red flag they're manipulative. And for those who may reply, "that's not always true"... no, it is most certainly ALWAYS true. Considerate people will respect that boundary, that you want to pay your own way, and won't pressure you. Whether they want sex, your admiration/gratitude for their "generosity", or something else entirely, it's manipulative and they're making it "all about them" with zero consideration for your feelings. Proceed with great caution. The pressuring behavior is likely to get worse, not better.
That's so sad but you are right on. All of that is exactly correct.
Maybe I'm different but I'm really good at maintaining my line in the sand. When someone steps over my boundaries, they get 1 reminder. Do it again, and that's the end of the conversation. We're done. I leave or they leave. Buh bye. This isn't baseball. You don't get 3 strikes.
you re so stunning and we want more
+Aybeniz Montgomery Thank youuu!
+Maya OMG
your profile pic... marina and the diamonds?
Couldn't have said it better! More!
+Maya hi,i have some interesting question for you and would like to talk little about this
tell me what you think about gay guys,what is the story about them,are they SICK,WEAK IN MIND,OR IT IS JUST OK TO BE GAY(like everyone should choose which person to love and which sex)
so what do you think about this?which from this three is your opinion or there is something else
i see that you are smart person by looking the way you talking and moving,so i know you will answer mature on this
Next time you go on a date with someone you have never met, get a friend to stay somewhere close to where you are meeting the person and text them if this stuff happens so they can come save you :) Or have them call you and then say you have an emergency and you have to leave!!
People shouldn't date people who have never met before .
+salman sultane I'll have to disagree with you. I met my husband of three years on an RPGMMO. I think it is okay to meet people in real life that you have met online but I also think that precautions should be taken whenever you do.
+Emi Wakeshima Ah yes we do ^_^
Eck! this was so gross to hear, i hate when people think they can just pressure people to do shit. without trying to victim blame, people need to start realizing that literally anyone you met could be a creep (not just strangers either) and to keep your wits about you, that means not getting drunk, and saying NO! when ever you feel you need to as its your right. Scumbags are everywhere and its a shame.
Carmen H You're right, she shouldn't have pressured the older man into Feeling bad. Very sad to hear.
Another suggestion, maybe dumb, but when I used to date I found the bar, club scene not conducive to getting to know someone, so I got the idea of dating people in a different way. Instead of bars and clubs, I'd go to a museum, go for a bike ride together, go to a fair--browsing arts and craft and so on, drive to a small quaint town and explore. Movies and dining out worked better after we were more comfortable with each other. Well, you get the idea. Also, always better on a first date if you both meet at the place so you are not dependent on them to be driven home. Meeting people is tough. You go through a dozen until you find a good and attractive person. Most of the time, you meet them when you least expect it, not necessarily when you are looking. Bon chance. :-)
Repeat after me: "I don't owe men shit. I don't owe men shit." If somebody buys you a drink, that's their decision. Hell, if they buy you 5-course meal and a bottle of champagne, you still don't owe them shit, except a "thank you". That kind of behavior - giving you something so that you feel indebted and not because they want to do something nice for you is a huge red flag. I'm not even gonna go into the fact that those "gifts" have the dual purpose of lowering your inhibitions and making you vulnerable. Of course, women are trained by society to feel obligated to offer sexual access in those situations (it doesn't matter that you're trans - you still got the same messages of how you "should" act as a woman when you were growing up!) even if men don't treat it as a transaction. So pay attention if those kind of thoughts come up and if somebody tries to elicit them in you. You don't owe anybody shit.
We women are also trained to be nice and polite so people will like us. We are trained to stop listening to the inner voice that tells us to run, lest we offend somebody. Fuck that! I'm sure you are aware of the statistics, how common experiencing sexual violence is for women and how much worse it is for transwomen. If you can get your hands on it, read "The gift of fear". Always put your safety and comfort first. Everyone who doesn't respect that isn't worth a second of your time.
Our fucked-up society teaches men that sex is something they are supposed to "get" from women instead of something people choose to explore together. It encourages coercion and manipulation (like "negging"). It paints world in really bleak colors.
I'm afraid that as a young and beautiful trans girl you'll meet plenty of frogs (=creeps, manipulators, chasers). Just remember. You don't have to kiss them. They will not turn into a prince. Leave them in the shit creek where they belong.
Just don't call the guy a faggot if he doesn't buy you a drink.
That is why you pay for your own items when you first meet. To assume the other party is going to pay for you is rude.
But if it's a Big Mac and a small Coke it's no ass for sure.
Marta Jaworska sounds like you don’t know men very well. We are all people, no? Learning mutual respect for other fellow human beings is important regardless of gender or identity etc. peace
What's that i smell? Ah, another spiritual shrimp FOR THE BARBY!
Whaaaaat. So creepy! I hate when people buy you drinks with the objective to get you drunk enough to agree to sleep with them. That's just so slimy.
+Abigail D You're slimy for taking the drinks and not fucking.
+ReliveTheDream just because you don't want to hook up doesn't mean you're a bad person
He probably only brought his work mate and they only forced her to take shots because they were hoping for a threesome
"I felt like Lana Del Rey in Ride" I'M DYING
Maya, you forgot to say SHAME
+Luna Kaisi HAHAHAAA, Yesssssssss, I loved that ! :))
+Luna Kaisi I died that week !!
Thank you for sharing your experience about this. It definitely does give awareness of how meeting someone can be for anyone. I did not see any problem with how you described anyone and also how you described how you felt in this situation. Never apologize for how something made you feel uncomfortable. People need to keep an open mind when listening to someone and they need to judge less. You are a beautiful person inside and out. Stay safe!
Just gotta say, the thumbnail on this is hilarious! I like how Moses is creeping in from the side, while you give him the side/stink eye!
That is terrible! I hope you don't have that experience again. That guy was a total creep.
You´re lucky he was honest with you....and you had a choice.Otherwise it would have been a different history.You have to be careful with guys you don´t know from anywhere!Always tell someone where you are Maya!
Her skin is ridiculously perfect. I'm so jealous.
I just watched a few of your videos and must say, If I was a person who was scared and confused about how they feel about themselves and their gender, you have been the best I've seen in educating them and making them feel normal as they should. Your simple and honest expression of what you have gone through and what you share because of that is a blessing. Thank you young lady for being you.
Transgender or not it does not matter. You are just gorgeous!!! :)
Be careful Maya , there are sexual predators out there don't understand when to back off , when I was in my 20's I was continually mistaken for a girl/woman. Most guys who approached me disappeared quickly when they discovered the truth , however I had a guy in his late 50's spike my drink and put extreme pressure on me to go back to his place , luckily my friend was there to get me out of the situation. Trust your gut instinct Maya , if the situation doesn't feel right , it's probably not.
It's easy to monday morning quarterback, but 3 rules come to mind: 1) no one is worth waiting 20 min for 2) no one who shows up with a friend unannounced is worth your time and 3) the first mention of "equipment" is time to leave. I'm a cis gender GF to a transitioning grandkid. I gave her this same advice. I LOVE YOUR WORK. Thank you for all that you do.
"I felt like freaking Lana Del Rey in Ride" IM DYING😂
I only saw the title and thumbnail wtf do you think 43 year old men have Gandalf beards😂
+Dennis Van haarlem lol! exactly
+Dennis Van haarlem Woof, you read my mind. I was thinking the same thing.
Yeah, the guy in the thumbnail looks old enough to be God.
+Eclectic Jon 101 pretty sure it was a selfie from his insta😂
I'm 19 and my last boyfriend was 43. No issues there, we just weren't compatible. Age doesn't matter dude.
What I love about this channel is that most of her experiences are the experience are quite relatable with the audience
"I feel like Lana Del Rey in 'Ride'" I SCREAMED
+Basic Bitch Yaaaas!
This was like the first video from you I watched but I was drawn in for some reason. Like, I felt like you were literally talking to me, as if we were in the same room. It was weird, but nice.
+Nahari Eudora this is weirdly accurate
I remember how ancient people in their 40s seemed when I was your age ... and how ... the idea of kissing someone that much older was just gross.
My concern about you in regards to this video and your other date video is that you do not practice safety when on dates. Meeting people from online can be dangerous enough, but drinking to where you feel drunk or getting in a car with someone you don't know is not looking out for your well-being. I know you are inexperienced when it comes to dating, but these are things you should be aware of. Not everyone can be trusted and just because they say they are okay with you being transgender doesn't mean that they really are. There are cruel and dangerous people out there and I just hope you, and everyone else in the dating world, take better precautions to ensure your safety. Best wishes to you.
Well said. I got really nervous when she said these guys were forcing her to take shots. No one is "obligated" to see a first date through (let alone kiss them or doing anything sexual) if they feel endangered. I love Maya and hope she stays safe!
I reccommend doing activities for dates. Coffee or a meal is pretty tired. I've had the best dates doing things like painting and board games. I have a pretty long list of activities to pick from so it's easy to get a buy in for something, and then they know they can just have fun if the attraction part doesn't work. Good luck to you in dating.
Excellent advice! Like a cooking class or maybe an art class or something like that. Meeting a guy for the first time at a bar was big mistake. Hopefully Maya you learned from this, at 20yoa you are still quite young and didn't know what to expect. You also must appreciate that when someone has a few drinks they become a different person.
"Interesting" experience? "Strange" experience? I like your stories and all Maya, but you just didn't seem to be aware of the severity of this situation in your re-telling; the things he was saying, the way he was behaving, and what he wanted to do to you... It was all way beyond interesting or strange. I'm not trying to be rude or mean, it just got me really worried for your safety. I hope this never happens again, please take care
+Kendra Masonchuck Yeah, she seems a little too naive about this. She could have been taken advantage off and gotten hurt or even killed. Trans people get killed in massive numbers as it is.
I agree with you. I'm worried for her too.
well although she is now a she and identifies as a woman, she grew up in a boys world for the most part and im sure she still has a male sense. i could be 100% wrong but im guessing her perspective on the situation came somewhere from her experiences growing up? just maybe?
Nope Nope Um, no? Men and women dont think differently on this based on gender, its personality.
DirkAustin well then why does everyone think she should take it more seriously? Because shes a woman? Like whats the reason for thinking a certain way in certain situations? I think most of us get our rationale from past experiences and the way we were raised. I know its not that way for everyone, obviously life isnt a "one size fits all" type deal, but i was speculating. I did not say i was right or that was the ultimate truth. I was just stating maybe thats how she feels because of her past.
I would've left so fucking fast lmao. 40 min late? And he brings another older guy? Heelll no im out of this bitch
You should probably remove the alcohol factor from your dates from now on.
43 is not ,,”’middle aged,”’ it is the perfect age you can hit on anyone from 20 till 60, it is ageless in a way. Mildly attracted as you state. He just had the wrong talk imo.
how can I be in love with this girl?!
only a few hours ago i wasn't even aware she existed , and now ...
His age didn't make him a creep he already was a creep regardless.
Yeah that dude was creepy, I would have booked it the moment he asked you about your body.
"Steve" is a prime example of what rape culture manifests as in the dating world what a weirdo, sorry that happened to you Maya!
+Rebekah Silva :
Fuck you, "Steve" at no time was insinuating rape..
+Ottee2 last time I checked saying "I want to take advantage of you" insinuates rape.
***** :
Check again. He is saying that he wants to have sex with her. Him just saying that does not force Maya to do anything. She could have left the bar at any time, and eventually she did.
@@Ottee2 Steve that you?
all the people commenting about her being ageist have obviously never been in the same situation. People are allowed to have preferences, especially if the guy claimed to be younger and lied about his age. You start to wonder what else they're going to lie about.
Maya, you did absolutely nothing wrong and shouldn't have to apologize.
I'm sorry that you were treated like that by people of my gender. Truly they have not absorbed any of the rules of politeness given by their parents. Thanks for sharing. If I ever meet someone trans, I hope they are as bright and articulate as you are
is maya the prettiest transgender person on youtube or what?
ssnader a she and msblaire
YES!
Her, Blaire White and Eden the doll are the prettiest ones lol
Didn’t even think she was!! Like some girl just try tooo hard and still look good but it’s like calm it down on the makeup!
No
"I'll keep buying you drinks and then ask again" hell no!! Glad you got away from him!
How about next time you meet for coffee. Meeting in a bar for drinks just makes it easy for bad things to happen. Date smarter.
+Linx M +1 (:
when I'm single and am dating I never do liquor, night outings. I always meet them , go to lunch, dinner or something where there are a lot of people in the day time.
A real man would not have treated you like that no matter if he's young or old. A real man treats a woman with respect. As a older man I can tell you by experience with dating I like to get to know a woman. So not all older men are the same and by the way like your videos.
Downside of being a woman... You have to deal with pigs like that once in a while... gross... you're so pretty and nice that you will find a decent guy in no time :)
+Ord Grill _Downside of being a woman... You have to deal with pigs like that once in a while... gross..._
Being a guy myself, I have to say you would be surprised how gross some girls are as well. Do everyone a favor and do not think "dealing with gross people" is the sole domain of women.
***** personally i don't really care what she calls herself. if she wants to be a girl, act like a girl, dress like a girl, but still has a dick, it is not really my problem.
As long as she is honest before initiating any sort of personal contact, It is not like she is hurting anybody by calling herself a woman/girl/platypus.
+Livthru I'm a woman, and I agree completely. Because of feminism and them being brainwashed by trashy popstars like Nicki Minaj who taught them that acting like the worst men is cool for a woman, a lot of girls of the new generation have become awful.
+Ord Grill IKR some guys are fucking pigs
Livthru Not at all do i think is a "women vs men" issue ... I'm sure there are plenty of women like that unfortunately. My comment was stated that way because she is going out with guys.
If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been on hormones? You're a prettier, more feminine version of me, but I'm not trans.
1 year. You can check her earlier videos
The ignorance in this comment section is so real -_-
I admire your bravery in sharing your journey not an easy thing to do opening yourself for criticism beyond your own circle. You look stunning and from watching your videos your beauty is your soul not your appearence.
Ok listen to the people saying she's a hypocrite: she was straight forward about her age and sexuality, he lied about his age to her! If she doesn't want to date older people that's her choice?
Lana Del Rey in Ride! Hahaha I died at this comment. Just discovered your channel, it's amazing! Love your voice xo
"I felt like fricking lana del rey in ride" LMAAAAO oh my god
😂😂😂
aaaah creeepy!! stay safe please
some of us have nowhere to meet 100% safe guys and must try our luck
+IchibanOjousama Doooont, meet in daylight :(
Maya, the guy pictured in your thumbnail isn't 43. He looks more like 123.
Your genitals are your business. I hate when people say trans people are "lying and tricking and deceiving" men. Like what, she tricked you into being attracted to her and then you found out she's trans and now you're freaking out? That's called transphobia.
+doombuggy123 I agree, and in this case, he tricked her by making her think he might be a decent individual. I'm glad she is OK and did the smart thing.
What's with that thumbnail? 43 isn't old.
haahhahah
+Grim Divine lol
+Grim Divine Yeah, lol "dating 43 year old" and picture of 80 years old guy.... Lol, this 10 year old bitch should learn difference.
+Bieseger It honestly sounds like you're the "ten year old bitch". Leave Maya alone.
ayy lmao, salty sjws
Way too dangerous, what you did... Please, next time two guys instead of just the one you have a date with show up, bugger off! Also you drinking behavior is not safe with ppl you don't know - not even having mentioned the knockout drops , they could have put in your drink. Girl, please be more cautious next time!
You are a very beautiful young lady. That man was being such a pig. Asking if you have a D*** and then making these advances was just wrong. You should not have felt guilty about him buying you drinks, BUT you need to be careful when you go to the bathroom, as someone you don't know can slip something into your drink! There are a lot of creeps out there!
just bc he's buying you drinks don't feel like you owe him anything! he did that willingly. if you're uncomfortable feel free to leave.
should've told him to his face he was being rude, if he got violent or angry (not saying that it's reasonable for him to be that way) I'm sure people would back you up.
Love you Maya, I'm a Cis Pano chic but love hearing about your experiences with dating and everything. Very informative. The trans community is like a flower garden. So very beautiful :)
you dated steve not the "old guy", title could be better
+Musser's Bows, Boats and Science Channel
Trying her best to get all the clicks.
I think so, and santa clause guy in the photo is at least in his 60's...
There are a lottt of men who will keep buying you drinks to keep talking you into going home with them. Creeps.
Maya you gotta be careful! So many red flags were going up when you were talking about this... Don't let someone make you feel guilty because they bought you drinks and don't drink just because you feel obligated to!
Advice
First, never meet someone you done already know alone. Bring a friend.
Second, first meeting is never in a bar. It sends the wrong message. Like wearing a sign that says - Hey, I'm easy.
Third, pepper spray at the ready.
And finally, you MUST have an escape plan. At least have 911 on speed dial.
Girl, take care! It's dangerous out there.
What a story, Maya! So scary. I would be scared to be a victim of knockout drops in those drinks. This danger is real out there. You are really brave, please be careful. You deserve much better.
I am 44 and because I am rich and handsome all I get is super hot 20 year olds!!
+uncklebuck1 Yep, rich handsome chick magnets are usually the types who hang out in TH-cam comment sections.
+uncklebuck1 I've never been able to understand why old guys can't handle women their own age...kinda sad.
+uncklebuck1 ...who these days all act like they're 9 and a half...
+randomuser1105 Has nothing to do with "handling"...it has to do with a completely different perspective and approach to life. Most over 40 women are settling into aging and the predictable, mundane life that comes with it.
Forget the looks of younger women; at least the young ones have more zest for life and are in tune with modern culture, etc. I'd know, I've dated both, and I won't date my age or older ever again (and I"ve had ltr with two women 7+yrs older than me...never again).
You sound like a complete idiot.
plz be safe & don't date someone just b\c they are OK with you being trans.
I love to hear you talking. It's so fun to hear you speaking your slangs and stuff. I learn a lot from you.
Thank you for being so candid and honest. Watching your videos is like listening to an old friend.
Regardless of age, your date was a total jerk. It is so rude for any guy to view women as objects. What he tried with the kiss was creepy and the nerve to ask you about your D?!? I'll be looking forward to hearing about a date that went well.
"I want to take advantage of you" Wow, that's quick way to ruin a first date LOL
"I felt like Lana del rey In ride" IM SCREAMING I Stan Lana but so true 😭😂😂😂
I like these stories! Could you post a video talking about a good date instead of bad ones? I'd like to hear about the good encounters
I just wanted to say i love your channel Maya. I've not transitioned full time yet, but its nice to hear your personal experiences post transition x :)
SHAME! SHAME! *ding ding ding* 😂😂😂😂
Yup, that's dating as a woman. Get used to it, and more comfortable with just getting up and leaving around creapers.
You're young. You're gonna learn over time, no matter how many times you tell someone clearly "I'm not looking to date right now", or anything similar, it will never sink in. I have tried so hard to protect others feelings, but they they still try and get upset when you reject them. They whole thing in frustrating.
Sweetheart, oh my god, this freaked me the hell out! I know you were posting this because you want other people to learn from your mistakes, but I also hope you do; you're way too sweet to let yourself be treated like shit just because some guy is paying for your drinks or whatever. Don't ever feel like you're obligated to stay in a situation that you are intimidated by, uncomfortable with, and/or generally not enjoying. So many red flags: The constant drinks, forcing those shots, the repulsive things he said to you about taking advantage of you and repeatedly asking you about sex-related things, the fact that he was as late as he was and brought someone else... all of it is weird and scary as hell, and not what you need or deserve from anyone, let alone someone you were hoping might be potential boyfriend material.
You are totally allowed to leave as soon as you want to, to call a friend or family member or someone you trust for help, hell you can even tell someone else at the bar that you're uncomfortable like the bartender or some other woman or whoever. Point is: Just get out of there if you don't want to be there. You seem like an absolutely lovely woman. Please, PLEASE don't become one of those statistics because of something as minuscule as who picked up the check. *offers virtual hug*
would you have had a problem if your date had brought along a George Clooney or a Brad Pitt? and that guy in the thumbnail looks 70 !!! not 43 !!!
Exactly! On both accounts.
+Arijeet Das Look, no decent people care that you're offended enough to try and take the attention away from the old(for her) sketchy lying pervs in this story. I don't know if that's your age too so you're needlessly offended or what's going on, but stop. Sorry if you thought the funny pic in the thumbnail was supposed to be an accurate representation of anything, but it's very clear it wasn't. And also, to answer your frankly silly question, both Brad Pitt and George Clooney are men in their 50s. They're my parents age. I thought they were attractive...in their movies from 20 years ago. And the vast majority of women in their 20's are not interested in men old enough to be their fathers. Hollywood movies are lying to you. Old dudes aren't a hot commodity for all age groups, nor should they be. So next time, when you of your own free will decide to listen to someone tell a story of something sketchy that happened to them you could try to be compassionate instead of showing everyone your insecurities. It sucks that what you wrote is the only thing you got out of this story. Check yourself.
Alice L have you not read the "title" of the video? she made a big deal about the guy's age. my point.