I think a true test of friendship is if they can be happy for you. Anyone can pity you but it takes a true friend to be happy for you and not be jealous of your fortunate circumstances.
@@vikramadoddamani I think you can tell by their reaction. Or if they ask you about it when you've not even brought it up... Fake friends won't even bother to fake it
A true friend would share his happiness with you or sacrifice his happiness for you. A true friend wouldn't allow himself to be happy until he saw you happy.
Yeah the part "we are friends with everyone"... I remember you talked about 'Spurious infinity- false universals of liberalisation' Whereas our love actually isolated people. Even the hegelian quote that evil is not binary of one good or evil, but the evil is the good which thinks itself absolutely-- universally good... universally available love, you are and you too...all of you are my friend
Great explanation! Although I think friends even in this sense don't antagonise each other "mercilessly", it's exactly the trust in expectation of absolute mercy and willingness to empathise that makes the antagonism and interrogation a safe mode of conduct. Mind you I get that it's probably a turn of phrase here, rather than a technical term :)
Hey, I just watched this, and on the one hand I found it a reasonable analysis of the fake-friendliness overtaking our commercial/conventional interactions with strangers, I'm also wondering: isn't Zizek confounding two quite distinct things here, namely intimate communication in long-standing friendship and friendliness to strangers? It seems to me that the character of being without safety equipment, of having sufficient trust in the solid, almost unshakeable nature of the other's interest in us and benevolence towards us develops over time. One friend of mine says he never applies the term 'friend' to anyone he hasn't known for a minimum of 10 years. This has little to do with the fact that the fake friendliness that is spreading like cancer through the field of social interactions is a cover-up for most members, or at least a very significant portion of our civilization living out miserable lives of oppression, in circumstances in which most wild animals would choose to die...
The flaw with this argument is that those close to us can justify abuse through brutal honesty by expectation of forgiveness. Its not not important to be honest in a friendship, but friendliness as understood to be politeness and courtesy to strangers isn't to be neglected either to friends. If Zizek means a calculated and temporary test of offensiveness to reveal boundaries, that could makes sense, but it doesn't mean to constantly push these boundaries.
Their job role implies that they are working in the interest of capitalists. So they kind of have to act as an oppressor and work against your class interest to do their job.
I disagree with Zizek here the most cause what his idea of a true friendship I would argue is more subjective than based in his philosophical principles. Being vulgar, crude and insulting to someone's face is pretty one dimensional way of thinking about friendship, this can very well be someone who claims to be your friend but does secretly hate you and want you to fail. I think this way of friendship comes from his time in the Yugoslav army and if I were to analyse this I would say that this kind of friendship is more of a forced ritual in masculine settings like the army to desensitize each other to acts that would usually be considered rude or a social faux pas cause with the nature of being in the army there's a chance they might end up witnessing or doing horrible things no matter how justified, legally or morally so in a way it's forced onto these men as a survival mechanism so their mind don't crack. He draws an extreme opposite example of people being nice but fake to your face but those are for everyday interactions with the public, people don't want to be insulted or be told the truth everywhere every time. If wake up looking horrible one day, you don't need the barista to tell you that cause you both know that. Of course you can be true friends with someone without the vulgar ritual and be truthful to one another with good intent. Ultimately it will come down to the level of trust and commitment to your principles of friendship.
any relationship that is mandated by and falls under the capitalist structure is not going to be friendship. also, just because someone treats me like shit, it doesn't automatically mean they are my friend omg please there is more to friendship than linear correlations based on 1 datapoint.
I think what’s being described is MALE friendship and male behaviour. Female friendship is not generally characterised by joshing, teasing etc. In actual fact these are passive aggressive - potentially damaging. - behaviours and women recognise it as such.
Male friendship is not generally characterized by pretence, duplicity, etc. In actual fact these are passive aggressive - potentially damaging. - behaviours and men recognize it as such.
You ever hear the old expression, "with friends like that, who needs enemies?". Here's a hot take. Try being kind and caring towards your friends and save your ire for your enemies. Crazy I know, but just try it... please.
I think what is said here is almost the complete opposite, or perhaps a case of; of course care for your friends, but it's no real friendship without challenge, antagonism etc. Simply caring is what your boss does whilst reserving the right to fire you.
Zizek seems to be mistaking an adult relationship with that of a child. The simplicity and the nostalgia of a childhood friendship… compared to the complexity of wants, needs and desires of an adult. Zizek wilfully misunderstands the complexity inherent in all relationships, but especially in pair bonding. It is easy to kid and joke with colleagues, because they’re acquaintances. But most people want something deeper, a connection and an understanding. Free from ridicule and derision. Unfortunately for Zizek, he wasn’t built with an innate proclivity for overt sensuality. Not unlike Barry White, he can in words evoke its presence… but has little actual practical experience. Except to just lay there… a voyeur to the act of his own intimacy. If this is all there is… then you would, downplay the solemnity of the rest of the intricacies of a meaningful relationship.
What you are describing is a weak sense of self and lack of self confidence. Unfortunately, a lot of adults do indeed have that and can’t see the beauty in derision and ridicule. Very unfortunate.
@@Hamiltonianmcmc I don't believe I have yet met a women who enjoys being derided and ridiculed. Maybe I need to dig deeper into the trough of existence like you have... in order to find them?
Is this why our society is so sensitive at large in America? It is a certian type alienation and atomization. Our lack of genuine care for others turns us into a sort of niceness by force. That makes it all sound compensatory, if I dare label Zizek a psychoanalysit of sorts. I definetly agree that friends give me the most shit.
I disagree 100% with this concept. In fact, I'm gonna write a video myself discarding this theory. I love Zizek but, just as he is wrong about the Bhagavad Gita, he is wrong on this one too.
Question: is the audio-level better this way? I thought by holding the camera closer to my face it might be more audible
Yeah this was better...
Sounds clear and resonant 👍
It is better.
The audio was better this way; however, the trade-off is that your face is closer to us.
Sounds way better this way.
“ don’t tell me about your culture, tell me about a dirty joke” -Žižek I think
Tell me -about- a dirty joke.
Omg!!! This man is so beautiful!! I want to put my face next to the arch of his foot!!!
I think a true test of friendship is if they can be happy for you. Anyone can pity you but it takes a true friend to be happy for you and not be jealous of your fortunate circumstances.
Yes, both happy and sad depending on the situation. However, the question is how do you identify that they’re not faking or acting out? 😊
@@vikramadoddamani I think you can tell by their reaction. Or if they ask you about it when you've not even brought it up... Fake friends won't even bother to fake it
A true friend would share his happiness with you or sacrifice his happiness for you. A true friend wouldn't allow himself to be happy until he saw you happy.
What a great video and way to start the workday. Thank you, Julian.
Yeah the part "we are friends with everyone"...
I remember you talked about 'Spurious infinity- false universals of liberalisation'
Whereas our love actually isolated people.
Even the hegelian quote that evil is not binary of one good or evil, but the evil is the good which thinks itself absolutely-- universally good... universally available love, you are and you too...all of you are my friend
Omg!!! This man is so beautiful!! I want to put my face next to the arch of his foot!!!
Great explanation! Although I think friends even in this sense don't antagonise each other "mercilessly", it's exactly the trust in expectation of absolute mercy and willingness to empathise that makes the antagonism and interrogation a safe mode of conduct. Mind you I get that it's probably a turn of phrase here, rather than a technical term :)
Here’s me with my 110% lovable boss, wishing he’d call me out once in a while’ Thanks Julian for the great, consistent content. As always!
Love you, J.
you're so in love, and i love to see it 🥰
Bring back the desk lamp.
3:21 The expectation is to exchange superficial pleasantries-but we also love the tea too sometimes..
Hey, I just watched this, and on the one hand I found it a reasonable analysis of the fake-friendliness overtaking our commercial/conventional interactions with strangers, I'm also wondering: isn't Zizek confounding two quite distinct things here, namely intimate communication in long-standing friendship and friendliness to strangers? It seems to me that the character of being without safety equipment, of having sufficient trust in the solid, almost unshakeable nature of the other's interest in us and benevolence towards us develops over time. One friend of mine says he never applies the term 'friend' to anyone he hasn't known for a minimum of 10 years. This has little to do with the fact that the fake friendliness that is spreading like cancer through the field of social interactions is a cover-up for most members, or at least a very significant portion of our civilization living out miserable lives of oppression, in circumstances in which most wild animals would choose to die...
Julian, a Request : Please explain zizek's lottery election in first as tragedy second sa farce -qouting Kara tani proposal
The flaw with this argument is that those close to us can justify abuse through brutal honesty by expectation of forgiveness. Its not not important to be honest in a friendship, but friendliness as understood to be politeness and courtesy to strangers isn't to be neglected either to friends. If Zizek means a calculated and temporary test of offensiveness to reveal boundaries, that could makes sense, but it doesn't mean to constantly push these boundaries.
Great essay
Great ❤
Is it correct to imply that every employee/boss relationship defaults to one of oppression?
Depends on what you mean by correct.
@@Schlynn really?
Their job role implies that they are working in the interest of capitalists. So they kind of have to act as an oppressor and work against your class interest to do their job.
They have to work against your class interest to do their job, so yes.
@@data-dylan really?
*Looking for some friends*
Requirements: Mom jokes, self degrading humour too
My bosses critise me all the time, yet i wouldn't call it friendship 🥲 The line between friends/patient/coworkers/bosses/teachers is soo blured.
insulting and teasing each other is different than being criticized by your boss
I disagree with Zizek here the most cause what his idea of a true friendship I would argue is more subjective than based in his philosophical principles. Being vulgar, crude and insulting to someone's face is pretty one dimensional way of thinking about friendship, this can very well be someone who claims to be your friend but does secretly hate you and want you to fail. I think this way of friendship comes from his time in the Yugoslav army and if I were to analyse this I would say that this kind of friendship is more of a forced ritual in masculine settings like the army to desensitize each other to acts that would usually be considered rude or a social faux pas cause with the nature of being in the army there's a chance they might end up witnessing or doing horrible things no matter how justified, legally or morally so in a way it's forced onto these men as a survival mechanism so their mind don't crack.
He draws an extreme opposite example of people being nice but fake to your face but those are for everyday interactions with the public, people don't want to be insulted or be told the truth everywhere every time. If wake up looking horrible one day, you don't need the barista to tell you that cause you both know that.
Of course you can be true friends with someone without the vulgar ritual and be truthful to one another with good intent. Ultimately it will come down to the level of trust and commitment to your principles of friendship.
any relationship that is mandated by and falls under the capitalist structure is not going to be friendship. also, just because someone treats me like shit, it doesn't automatically mean they are my friend omg please there is more to friendship than linear correlations based on 1 datapoint.
can you criticise them back?
@@hotto5150 the basrista is not your friend though
❤
I think what’s being described is MALE friendship and male behaviour. Female friendship is not generally characterised by joshing, teasing etc. In actual fact these are passive aggressive - potentially damaging. - behaviours and women recognise it as such.
Male friendship is not generally characterized by pretence, duplicity, etc. In actual fact these are passive aggressive - potentially damaging. - behaviours and men recognize it as such.
So true
You ever hear the old expression, "with friends like that, who needs enemies?". Here's a hot take. Try being kind and caring towards your friends and save your ire for your enemies. Crazy I know, but just try it... please.
I think what is said here is almost the complete opposite, or perhaps a case of; of course care for your friends, but it's no real friendship without challenge, antagonism etc. Simply caring is what your boss does whilst reserving the right to fire you.
Except Zizek and Badiou had a major falling out and aren't friends anymore 😢
Zizek seems to be mistaking an adult relationship with that of a child.
The simplicity and the nostalgia of a childhood friendship… compared to the complexity of wants,
needs and desires of an adult. Zizek wilfully misunderstands the complexity inherent in all relationships,
but especially in pair bonding. It is easy to kid and joke with colleagues, because they’re acquaintances.
But most people want something deeper, a connection and an understanding. Free from ridicule and derision.
Unfortunately for Zizek, he wasn’t built with an innate proclivity for overt sensuality.
Not unlike Barry White, he can in words evoke its presence… but has little actual practical experience.
Except to just lay there… a voyeur to the act of his own intimacy. If this is all there is… then you would,
downplay the solemnity of the rest of the intricacies of a meaningful relationship.
What you are describing is a weak sense of self and lack of self confidence. Unfortunately, a lot of adults do indeed have that and can’t see the beauty in derision and ridicule. Very unfortunate.
@@Hamiltonianmcmc I don't believe I have yet met a women who enjoys being derided and ridiculed. Maybe I need to dig deeper into the trough of existence like you have... in order to find them?
What is this thumbnail from?
Bonding with your besties, Zizek style! th-cam.com/video/r-ECvI5rD40/w-d-xo.html
Is this why our society is so sensitive at large in America? It is a certian type alienation and atomization. Our lack of genuine care for others turns us into a sort of niceness by force. That makes it all sound compensatory, if I dare label Zizek a psychoanalysit of sorts. I definetly agree that friends give me the most shit.
Underrated comment
Friends will be honest with you and tell you what you need to hear but don't want to hear. Acquaintances will just not rock the boat
To me it seems like Zizek has a problem with simplifying things.
People get too hung up on power dynamics.
could you please say more? you mean power dynamics among friends when they rib each other?
Are these written or do you just speak like that? Wow!
If I help you move we are friends.
I disagree 100% with this concept.
In fact, I'm gonna write a video myself discarding this theory. I love Zizek but, just as he is wrong about the Bhagavad Gita, he is wrong on this one too.
What's all this talk about ideology and oppression?
I think I'm out of my depth here.
He is lucky he is not my friend.