“Stay positive”- a manager told me this when I was trying to explain my boss not adhering to the accommodations we discussed. It tells me not only am I not being listened to, but my concerns are fully being dismissed.
As someone with an invisible disability, when I reveal that I am disabled, people often say "wow you're so brave" and, one day, I'm going to lose all sense of social awkwardness and respond with "I'm brave for living? So I'm brave for not ending it all? So basically, if you were me, you would end it?". Like you didn't think I was brave yesterday so please don't think I'm brave for managing to have a good life as a disabled person
Ppl can say the worst things when trying to be supportive or complimentary🤦🏻♀️ For ppl who just have to say something do you have any suggestions for responses that are appropriate?
As someone who uses a wheelchair, my biggest pet peeve is when people speak only to the person pushing the wheelchair and ignore me completely. It's so disrespectful. I'm also autistic, and I need all the practice with conversation that I can get.
Not speaking from experience since I haven’t used a wheelchair, but I can imagine it’s just dehumanizing to be ignored like that! I imagine it’s similar to when someone with Autism is talked to like a baby all the time because either the person is ignorant (thinking that if you have autism then you must act like a toddler) or just had some weird hate and feeling of superiority towards people who aren’t like them
I've seen people do that and it seems like the worst, I always feel so bad for the person being ignored. Whenever I have a customer at work who's in a wheelchair and is with someone pushing them, I try to make sure to make eye contact with both people equally when I talk even if my interactions are less full conversation and more general "hello/goodbye/do you need a receipt" type stuff... but I just wanna make it clear that their presence is acknowledged. Hey, I see that you're here too, hello. I see too many people who will basically act like there's not even a person in the chair. Like they interact the same as if the other person was pushing an empty chair, it's terrible.
I was in a wheelchair for 6 weeks when I broke my ankle, and OMG the lessons I learned about how to not be an a$$hole to disabled people. I was like a slap in the face.......
When I started working at an Easter Seal’s camp, we each had to spend 24 hours in a wheelchair. Even that was eye opening! Now that I use one myself, and go out in public, it really is wild how you’re treated.
As a chronically ill and disabled person I HATE the phrase "stay strong". It's such a slap in the face. My strength one thread away from breaking. Always. And to not yet be deemed worthy of SSI is crushing me. I'm waiting on my first (likely) rejection since they tend to reject everyone the first go around. Please pray that I get approved and am approved long-term. Thank you.
omg, I have gotten this before and it is just such a bizarre thing to say. I was just so taken aback I was like “heh, yeah…” but I wish I would have said something more :/
You inspire me to stay positive with my own disability. It has no known cure and no proven cause, and it's still sometimes difficult to accept for me. You being positive when talking about your disability reminds me that I can still carry on and do things, they just need to be adapted. You remind me that I can ask for help if I need it and that I shouldn't feel bad for it. Thank you for making your videos. They mean so much to me and other disabled people ❤️
Handicapable? That’s a new one, huh. Here to hoping (I think that’s the term) that you, or anybody else, doesn’t have to be referred to by terms that make you uncomfortable.
@@-MarbleHornetsFan- it’s not new. Was totally started with the best of intentions to foster positive self esteem in ppl with disabilities but the term doesn’t make everyone happy. When talking about a young and still developing child with a disability it can be seen as a positive way to talk about the child’s development. Disabilities are different- physical vs developmental, delayed development vs permanent disability, adult vs child, I could go on. There is no one term that will make everyone happy when you are trying to cover such a widely diverse population of ppl of all ages and disabilities
I was at the store with my mom using my crutches (they’re pink forearm crutches that I decorated and use for a permanent disability) and a lady came up to me and complimented my crutches and said “I hope you get better soon!” Which is sometimes funny, but other times it’s just.. so uncomfortable.. cause occasionally they’ll just be telling me I’ll get better. No, I won’t, thanks. I don’t know what it is about being visibly disabled that makes people so comfortable with talking to you in such a weird manner…
I think sometimes people are a bit silly and forget that crutches, like wheelchairs, are, surprise surprise, not just for people with a broken leg! I think parents should be teaching people that you shouldn’t automatically assume that just because someone has something that can sometimes assist someone with an injury (wheelchairs, crutches, etc.) it doesn’t mean that the person just broke a leg, it could be more than that.
I'm always so scared to use the door button because where I grew up our neighbors got so angry if we used it since it was "just for wheelchair users". But I have hsd and a birth defect in my hands and every year I get more pain and weakness in my hands so I'm trying to teach myself that it's okay to use it and that I can defend myself if someone says something.
@@orava931I feel the same about bathrooms! I think many people get confused because the sign often pictures a wheelchair. I imagine it would become easier if the sign showed what the room is (bigger etc) or what happens when you push the button (door opens).
@@gulplastgaffelI’m assuming you mean like how public bathrooms usually have signs with a girl stick figure and boy stick figure (at least here where I live)? I’m not sure about how it is where you live but usually if there’s a sign with a person in a wheelchair it’s usually accompanied by whichever gender bathroom. I imagine it’s confusing if not though.
Something that gets on my nerves is whenever people see someone that's disabled, there's a flood of responses along the lines of "I'll never let the small things bother me again 😮" (lot of rhetorical "you"s not directed at anyone, just easier grammatically) Sure, you should be grateful... but why should you have to repress your feelings just because other people have things on their plates? A disabled person is absolutely allowed to be annoyed or upset by something "small" as is everyone else. You're entitled to how you feel. It's also just not a productive road to direct energy. With the same effort you could learn a bit more about various disabilities, or if you have the means to you can donate/spread awareness
Or when people say "Wow I wouldn't be able to live like that" "You're so brave for keeping up" like... thank you; today I really needed to hear for the 16th time that someone would end their life if they were in my position because the thought of having a disability is too unbearable. You can have your opinions, of course, but maybe just try not to tell me those when I'm the one who HAD to live through that and wasn't given an option.
I'm autistic and have adhd. I hear these things online all the time and it's frustrating. I'm disabled, I sometimes struggle but I do struggle. Just because I don't struggle as a level 3 doesn't mean I don't. Or just because it's sometimes doesn't mean it goes away. I am not differently abled because I'm not able to socialize for example and it brings me lots of anxiety. I am simply not able to do that the same way they do. Also I find that people who do that are basically trying to find a nicer way to be ableist. Basically a non offensive way. Because dismissing someone's symptoms is ableist.
@@nikitatavernitilitvynova You are right and I’m sorry you have to deal with that super weird social interaction. Yes many ppl are ableist and so many don’t know or understand. There are some ppl who are really trying to say something positive to you and don’t know what to say or know not to say anything. Even when well meaning it’s insulting. That’s why I love these videos educating ppl to respond and relate better
My personal pet peeve is the phrase “ being in a wheelchair.” I use a wheelchair. I also use knives and forks. I see my wheelchair as a tool, not a state of being. Otoh please use whatever phrase works for you.
The biggest pet peeve for me is when people talk down to me. They assume that my mind is as feeble as my body. Some people have cognitive challenges, some have physical, some have mental, some have varying combos of them. Assume I’m capable until I tell you otherwise.
I have an invisible disability from being rear ended twice. I cannot stand it when people tell me to feel better which won't happen since I have had chronic pain for over 11 years. It aggravates me when they think I can work from home when some nights I am awake for over 24 hours straight due to pain. They assume that now all my surgeries are taken care of that now I can just move on. They don't understand that every entity of my life has been affected and I have PTSD from all of this. Making a full recovery is not going to happen to me either.
I hate being told I'm not disabled, but I have osteoarthritis of the left midfoot and right knee. No one sees the nights I can't get out of bed due to ankle pain. Or hobbling or crawling because its hard to walk.
Yeah, I think the 'disabled' thing is really important. 'Disabled' describes us because the world isn't designed for us for whatever reason. It isn't a slur, it's just stating the truth. I don't like it to be sugarcoated.
I totally hear you on everything. Re the inspiring comment- I believe I have commented that you are that in the past and it didn’t mean just because you are living life with a disability. It was because of your advocacy work and attitude and sense of style. There are lots of reasons people have to be inspired ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I use a cane most of the time to get around and my son always runs ahead and presses the buttons for me. He’s only 3 so most doors are too heavy for him to open by himself and hold open. He’s my big helper.
Omg pet peeves are really so-peevy. #4 is so relatableeee tbh-Like being disabled is absolutely NOT a bad thing-It's just how we were made or shaped depending on the circumstances, and we don't wanna feel ashamed of our identity! As a high-masking(trying to come out of it) autistic person, I have an amazing support system but it can still be really hard to embrace my identity, despite my strengths-Once again and I shall repeat this-OUR DISABILITIES ARE NOT FOR DIETING AND WE WANNA LIVE OUR LIVES-NO MATTER WHO WE ARE WE ARE JUST AS WORTHY OF LOVE AS ANYBODY ELSE!!!❤*P.S: Sarah Todd tysm for posting these videos! They feel so educational and relatable at times!😊*
Girl you put on makeup with one good hand better than I can with two. 😂 I love how bold and honest you are about addressing things like this. I would implode if I had to deal with people saying things like that. I hope you have a wonderful day!
My daughter was born parapeligic and people say the strangest things like the full recovery. I have to tell them she feels sorry for all the walkers (people that walk). Her disability does not define her but it does define them. 😢
This might be a dumb question but do you workout/ able to work out? Are there any forms of exercise you prefer vs things that aren’t accessible to you?
Although I do not have a disability, I really love your channel because it educates me and I am seeing things from a different lens of life! Thank you for your videos. Wishing you many more years of happiness and prosperity😊 Happy holidays 🎄⭐️
The "I hope u make a full recovery" is sth I personally never understood, like ofc I would hope for the person to have one (if they so desire) but I think it's also kinda rude to the person to wish them that like put of the blue? Cause like it's none of my business, and also if it's not possible for them I can imagine it being upsetting to hear this, knowing u won't have one, if that makes sense Edit: if a person has a medical condition they're in treatment for I usually just tell them that I hope for the best, what said best is can change depending on the situation if yk what I mean
People really have no idea how to even talk to disabled people. Theyre so afraid of anything different from themselves. Embarassing. Here's what I have to say to people with disabilities, I hope the world gets better for us. I hope you feel seen and respected. I wish you a good day. I'm doing what I can to help make the world easier for you and encourage others to do the same.
I have a few chronic health conditions and I hate it when people are like how are your legs feeling today and I am like they are the same and they are not going to change. Maybe people don’t really understand what chronic means? I also have kidney disease and people will say can you just get a kidney transplant right now instead of waiting until my renal function is much lower and I have to explain that is not how it works lol! I know they mean well but it’s frustrating
For the 2nd one my parents have knee problems and knee surgery’s so it would be horrible for them to have to walk from one side of the parking lot to the store thank you Sarah for telling people about this!
My mother is a disabled veteran but looks perfectly fine. One time a cop thought she was parking illegally in the disabled space, and approached her preparing to give a ticket (she had JUST parked so her placard wasn't up yet) and as he started talking she just put up her disabled veteran placard for him to see. As soon as she did that he lost all his confidence and started apologizing profusely. My mother and I still laugh about this. I think he learned a lesson about not assuming.
I have scoliosis and other medical issues. So it has taken me a while to accept I’ll never be 100% healthy but that’s okay…. There’s still good that come out of it like I know who my real friends are…
yes! like our needs are not “special”…ew! they are necessary accommodations, protocols, equipment, etc that we have to have to simply go on with our lives. it’s like people are trying to make it all sound cute✋🏽 and don’t get me started on the tone in which they say it too! sounds like they’re talking to a puppy😭
Watching you and other content creators advocate for your accommodations literally inspires me to advocate for the accommodations i need at work and home. So that is why i find you inspiring. And i hope thats not the kind of inspiring that bothers you. 😊
the dancing around the word disabled never fails to make me mad. it's a word! you're meant to use it to make sure people understand what you're saying! it just makes everyone uncomfortable
“Full recovery” absolutely sends me into the stratosphere rage wise. Idk what it is, but it’s just…infuriating. I think it also serves to make me feel less than when, up to that point, I felt equal to the public, I just go about things a lil differently. I know I won’t make a full recovery, I’ll just manage my issues, and, before someone says that, again, I felt whole already, but now I don’t, even if just for a fleeting moment.
My biggest one is when they say they'll pray for you. Like wtf you just stopped me going about my day to single me out and assume I'm wishing for a cure.
I wish my sis and BIL would stop telling me they think I’ll make a full recovery. The only way that’s gonna happen is if I wake up one day healed. And what’s worse they tell me I’m wrong like I don’t know my own disability.
I was born with a birth defect and ALL of these I relate to. I own a cute dachshund (weiner dog) & he relies on pain meds for his back issue. One day, I came into the vet's office to refill my dog's Rx. An older man asked me what was wrong with me in a joking manner, mimicking my limp, & I had to explain I was born with a bad foot... the guy apologized, telling me he was just "joking" while internally I was very upset. I don't mind when people ask as my limp I can't hide, but to mimic my limpimg...to me that's going too far. ☹️
I have Lupus so I can relate to almost all of this. When people say "get better" I'm like "Sure, Jan. There's no cure, but ok." The inspirational one is a funny one too, like, I'm a hot mess, not an inspiration.
I was literally cringing the whole timeeee all those phrases are so ridiculous 😅 As someone with ASD, ADHD and decently bad anxiety, some of those have been said to me as well, and they make me cringe SO much! I get people trying to be thoughtful, and they think they’re helping or somth, but NEVER say any of those to literally any kind of disabled person. Please🙃
Ive never understood telling people a version of get well soon for chronic conditions. It may be the fact that i have a chronic illness myself, but it's always made more sense to me to say something like I hope your flare up lessens soon/return to your baseline instead or just like not saying any of it at all. And thats like only when youre having a personal discussion of symptoms with another, not like just randomly telling people you see out and about. That part of strangers saying it has always weirded me out
i thought i was alone in this. its not that im not still adjusting to my disability, but ive come to terms with it. i cant describe why it gives me the ick when people tell me to stay strong, but i absolutely relate ❤ love your content 😊
Oh dear heavens, not the “differently abled” one! I get it, you’re not trying to offend anyone, but a lot of people use the term disabled. (Hopefully) no one is going to punch you in the face and “expose” you on TikTok for using the word disabled. You can use another term if you want, but make sure it’s okay with the person you’re speaking about!
Yes to all of the above! Though I am in a wheelchair and need the accessible parking spot for obvious reasons.. I’ve been disabled for 20 years now, it’s not going to get better if anything some things have gotten worse!
I Have A Few Disabilities Mostly Invisible And I Hear These Things All The Time “Stay Strong” “Your Not Disabled” “Your Inspirational” 🙄 I Appreciate The Thought But It Doesn’t Come Across How You Think It Does
I always appreciate your videos and you for educating others about these topics. If someone feels they need to compliment you or express support do you have any suggestions of things that would be appropriate to say?
hi there! i know i’m not sarah todd, but as a disabled person i do have a bit of insight if you’re interested. honestly don’t think too hard about it! if you want to compliment her for her advocacy for the disabled community and accessibility, you can just say that! for example: i really appreciate how passionate you are and your willingness to speak out about access needs and accommodations! i don’t know if this is exactly what you were looking for, but i hope it helps! of course this is just my perspective and i don’t speak for anyone else /genuine😊
@ thank you for taking the time to respond. Responses will vary from person to person so I think all feedback is good. This is a situation where people are well meaning but not well educated in how they should respond so the more examples of appropriate ways to respond the better! I love your suggestion. Happy holidays and have a wonderful new year!
I get the recovery one. I have a minor disability that is completely alleviated by a medication and I still get family asking when I will be cured so I can stop taking the medication. But like, I feel I'm very lucky. It took years, but I found something that worked. Many people don't. I feel it should be enough to be satisfied with a solution, you know?
Ooh do I have a double pet peeve in one example. I had an international friend once. Apparently she was telling her boyfriend about me. She said to him that I 'was so resilient and positive.' His response was "Yeah that's a typical American." I feel that I'm neither positive nor resilient, I just do the best I can with the health issues I've been dealt. How is that 'so American'?
Im multi disabled but I don't want that to define me. We are all different so maybe we could try to accept each other for who we are. We come in all kinds of shapes, colors, and abilities so get over it. Would people address a person of color and tell them they are colorabled?
hi there! disabled person here! while i’m not sarah todd and i’m absolutely not trying to speak for her, i do have to say that even though you aren’t calling her inspirational for simply being disabled, many of us still don’t like to be called it. many of us prefer to be complimented in other ways and using different terminology. i do agree with your overall message! i love her content and her advocacy for the disabled community /genuine😊
“Stay positive”- a manager told me this when I was trying to explain my boss not adhering to the accommodations we discussed.
It tells me not only am I not being listened to, but my concerns are fully being dismissed.
Yeah because smiling is totally going to suddenly make wheelchair ramps appear out of thin air, and give people the ability to regrow limbs!
@@-MarbleHornetsFan- I love your sarcastic humor. Merry Christmas and I hope 2025 is your best year yet
@@leobuddy1518 you too!
Edit: too! not too’
As someone with an invisible disability, when I reveal that I am disabled, people often say "wow you're so brave" and, one day, I'm going to lose all sense of social awkwardness and respond with "I'm brave for living? So I'm brave for not ending it all? So basically, if you were me, you would end it?". Like you didn't think I was brave yesterday so please don't think I'm brave for managing to have a good life as a disabled person
Ppl can say the worst things when trying to be supportive or complimentary🤦🏻♀️ For ppl who just have to say something do you have any suggestions for responses that are appropriate?
most relatable comment ive seen all day!!! ❤😂
It’s the same with me bro expecially when they deny your disability
Oh god the invisible disabilities are tough. “But you don’t LOOK disabled!”
Not the compliment you think it is.
I'm a chronic pain sufferer, and I get this SO BAD. "Brave" for doing what everyone else does every day?
As someone who uses a wheelchair, my biggest pet peeve is when people speak only to the person pushing the wheelchair and ignore me completely. It's so disrespectful. I'm also autistic, and I need all the practice with conversation that I can get.
It is disrespectful and it’s demeaning as well. Sorry you have to deal with that so much.
This is so relatable, I’m also an autistic wheelchair user
Not speaking from experience since I haven’t used a wheelchair, but I can imagine it’s just dehumanizing to be ignored like that! I imagine it’s similar to when someone with Autism is talked to like a baby all the time because either the person is ignorant (thinking that if you have autism then you must act like a toddler) or just had some weird hate and feeling of superiority towards people who aren’t like them
I've seen people do that and it seems like the worst, I always feel so bad for the person being ignored. Whenever I have a customer at work who's in a wheelchair and is with someone pushing them, I try to make sure to make eye contact with both people equally when I talk even if my interactions are less full conversation and more general "hello/goodbye/do you need a receipt" type stuff... but I just wanna make it clear that their presence is acknowledged. Hey, I see that you're here too, hello. I see too many people who will basically act like there's not even a person in the chair. Like they interact the same as if the other person was pushing an empty chair, it's terrible.
I was in a wheelchair for 6 weeks when I broke my ankle, and OMG the lessons I learned about how to not be an a$$hole to disabled people.
I was like a slap in the face.......
When I started working at an Easter Seal’s camp, we each had to spend 24 hours in a wheelchair. Even that was eye opening! Now that I use one myself, and go out in public, it really is wild how you’re treated.
As a chronically ill and disabled person I HATE the phrase "stay strong". It's such a slap in the face. My strength one thread away from breaking. Always. And to not yet be deemed worthy of SSI is crushing me. I'm waiting on my first (likely) rejection since they tend to reject everyone the first go around. Please pray that I get approved and am approved long-term. Thank you.
when people say they “don’t know how you do it.” what else am i supposed to do? self-delete? so blatantly wrong
omg, I have gotten this before and it is just such a bizarre thing to say. I was just so taken aback I was like “heh, yeah…” but I wish I would have said something more :/
You inspire me to stay positive with my own disability. It has no known cure and no proven cause, and it's still sometimes difficult to accept for me. You being positive when talking about your disability reminds me that I can still carry on and do things, they just need to be adapted. You remind me that I can ask for help if I need it and that I shouldn't feel bad for it. Thank you for making your videos. They mean so much to me and other disabled people ❤️
The 'differently abled' and 'handicapable' are a pet peeve of mine also! This as a person born with a birth defect.
Handicapable? That’s a new one, huh. Here to hoping (I think that’s the term) that you, or anybody else, doesn’t have to be referred to by terms that make you uncomfortable.
@@-MarbleHornetsFan- it’s not new. Was totally started with the best of intentions to foster positive self esteem in ppl with disabilities but the term doesn’t make everyone happy. When talking about a young and still developing child with a disability it can be seen as a positive way to talk about the child’s development. Disabilities are different- physical vs developmental, delayed development vs permanent disability, adult vs child, I could go on. There is no one term that will make everyone happy when you are trying to cover such a widely diverse population of ppl of all ages and disabilities
@@leobuddy1518 I figured it wasn’t new- just meant it was one I hadn’t heard before. Sorry if I worded that confusingly!
I was at the store with my mom using my crutches (they’re pink forearm crutches that I decorated and use for a permanent disability) and a lady came up to me and complimented my crutches and said “I hope you get better soon!” Which is sometimes funny, but other times it’s just.. so uncomfortable.. cause occasionally they’ll just be telling me I’ll get better. No, I won’t, thanks. I don’t know what it is about being visibly disabled that makes people so comfortable with talking to you in such a weird manner…
I think sometimes people are a bit silly and forget that crutches, like wheelchairs, are, surprise surprise, not just for people with a broken leg!
I think parents should be teaching people that you shouldn’t automatically assume that just because someone has something that can sometimes assist someone with an injury (wheelchairs, crutches, etc.) it doesn’t mean that the person just broke a leg, it could be more than that.
Love how you share your personal perspective on these things.
Thanks for watching!
I hate it when people tell me I'm brave or inspirational, just because I use a wheelchair!?
I'm always so scared to use the door button because where I grew up our neighbors got so angry if we used it since it was "just for wheelchair users". But I have hsd and a birth defect in my hands and every year I get more pain and weakness in my hands so I'm trying to teach myself that it's okay to use it and that I can defend myself if someone says something.
@@orava931I feel the same about bathrooms! I think many people get confused because the sign often pictures a wheelchair. I imagine it would become easier if the sign showed what the room is (bigger etc) or what happens when you push the button (door opens).
@@gulplastgaffelI’m assuming you mean like how public bathrooms usually have signs with a girl stick figure and boy stick figure (at least here where I live)? I’m not sure about how it is where you live but usually if there’s a sign with a person in a wheelchair it’s usually accompanied by whichever gender bathroom.
I imagine it’s confusing if not though.
@@gulplastgaffel what I heard was no more stick figures. Start drawing ppl as circles so I feel better. Thank you! This has been a long time coming
Something that gets on my nerves is whenever people see someone that's disabled, there's a flood of responses along the lines of "I'll never let the small things bother me again 😮"
(lot of rhetorical "you"s not directed at anyone, just easier grammatically)
Sure, you should be grateful... but why should you have to repress your feelings just because other people have things on their plates? A disabled person is absolutely allowed to be annoyed or upset by something "small" as is everyone else. You're entitled to how you feel.
It's also just not a productive road to direct energy. With the same effort you could learn a bit more about various disabilities, or if you have the means to you can donate/spread awareness
Or when people say "Wow I wouldn't be able to live like that" "You're so brave for keeping up" like... thank you; today I really needed to hear for the 16th time that someone would end their life if they were in my position because the thought of having a disability is too unbearable.
You can have your opinions, of course, but maybe just try not to tell me those when I'm the one who HAD to live through that and wasn't given an option.
I'm autistic and have adhd. I hear these things online all the time and it's frustrating. I'm disabled, I sometimes struggle but I do struggle. Just because I don't struggle as a level 3 doesn't mean I don't. Or just because it's sometimes doesn't mean it goes away. I am not differently abled because I'm not able to socialize for example and it brings me lots of anxiety. I am simply not able to do that the same way they do.
Also I find that people who do that are basically trying to find a nicer way to be ableist. Basically a non offensive way. Because dismissing someone's symptoms is ableist.
@@nikitatavernitilitvynova You are right and I’m sorry you have to deal with that super weird social interaction. Yes many ppl are ableist and so many don’t know or understand. There are some ppl who are really trying to say something positive to you and don’t know what to say or know not to say anything. Even when well meaning it’s insulting. That’s why I love these videos educating ppl to respond and relate better
My personal pet peeve is the phrase “ being in a wheelchair.” I use a wheelchair. I also use knives and forks. I see my wheelchair as a tool, not a state of being. Otoh please use whatever phrase works for you.
The biggest pet peeve for me is when people talk down to me. They assume that my mind is as feeble as my body. Some people have cognitive challenges, some have physical, some have mental, some have varying combos of them. Assume I’m capable until I tell you otherwise.
I have an invisible disability from being rear ended twice. I cannot stand it when people tell me to feel better which won't happen since I have had chronic pain for over 11 years. It aggravates me when they think I can work from home when some nights I am awake for over 24 hours straight due to pain. They assume that now all my surgeries are taken care of that now I can just move on. They don't understand that every entity of my life has been affected and I have PTSD from all of this. Making a full recovery is not going to happen to me either.
I hate being told I'm not disabled, but I have osteoarthritis of the left midfoot and right knee. No one sees the nights I can't get out of bed due to ankle pain. Or hobbling or crawling because its hard to walk.
Yeah, I think the 'disabled' thing is really important. 'Disabled' describes us because the world isn't designed for us for whatever reason. It isn't a slur, it's just stating the truth. I don't like it to be sugarcoated.
I totally hear you on everything. Re the inspiring comment- I believe I have commented that you are that in the past and it didn’t mean just because you are living life with a disability. It was because of your advocacy work and attitude and sense of style. There are lots of reasons people have to be inspired ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
You can do it! You get in there and make it yourself. #inspiring
I use the door buttons all the time as a mom!
I use a cane most of the time to get around and my son always runs ahead and presses the buttons for me. He’s only 3 so most doors are too heavy for him to open by himself and hold open. He’s my big helper.
Thank you for letting us know what some pet peeves are, I'm glad to learn more and more about disabled people
Omg pet peeves are really so-peevy. #4 is so relatableeee tbh-Like being disabled is absolutely NOT a bad thing-It's just how we were made or shaped depending on the circumstances, and we don't wanna feel ashamed of our identity! As a high-masking(trying to come out of it) autistic person, I have an amazing support system but it can still be really hard to embrace my identity, despite my strengths-Once again and I shall repeat this-OUR DISABILITIES ARE NOT FOR DIETING AND WE WANNA LIVE OUR LIVES-NO MATTER WHO WE ARE WE ARE JUST AS WORTHY OF LOVE AS ANYBODY ELSE!!!❤*P.S: Sarah Todd tysm for posting these videos! They feel so educational and relatable at times!😊*
Girl you put on makeup with one good hand better than I can with two. 😂 I love how bold and honest you are about addressing things like this. I would implode if I had to deal with people saying things like that. I hope you have a wonderful day!
I often say “stay strong” but it’s usually for people in crisis, I’m sorry if I’ve ever done this
My daughter was born parapeligic and people say the strangest things like the full recovery. I have to tell them she feels sorry for all the walkers (people that walk). Her disability does not define her but it does define them. 😢
Your pet peeves are so true ST! Keep being your awesome self! ❤❤❤
Thanks for watching!
This might be a dumb question but do you workout/ able to work out? Are there any forms of exercise you prefer vs things that aren’t accessible to you?
Happy holidays sarah todd!!!❤
You too! 🎄
Although I do not have a disability, I really love your channel because it educates me and I am seeing things from a different lens of life! Thank you for your videos. Wishing you many more years of happiness and prosperity😊 Happy holidays 🎄⭐️
Aww thank you! ❤️
The "I hope u make a full recovery" is sth I personally never understood, like ofc I would hope for the person to have one (if they so desire) but I think it's also kinda rude to the person to wish them that like put of the blue? Cause like it's none of my business, and also if it's not possible for them I can imagine it being upsetting to hear this, knowing u won't have one, if that makes sense
Edit: if a person has a medical condition they're in treatment for I usually just tell them that I hope for the best, what said best is can change depending on the situation if yk what I mean
People really have no idea how to even talk to disabled people. Theyre so afraid of anything different from themselves. Embarassing.
Here's what I have to say to people with disabilities, I hope the world gets better for us. I hope you feel seen and respected. I wish you a good day. I'm doing what I can to help make the world easier for you and encourage others to do the same.
I have a few chronic health conditions and I hate it when people are like how are your legs feeling today and I am like they are the same and they are not going to change. Maybe people don’t really understand what chronic means? I also have kidney disease and people will say can you just get a kidney transplant right now instead of waiting until my renal function is much lower and I have to explain that is not how it works lol! I know they mean well but it’s frustrating
For the 2nd one my parents have knee problems and knee surgery’s so it would be horrible for them to have to walk from one side of the parking lot to the store thank you Sarah for telling people about this!
My mother is a disabled veteran but looks perfectly fine. One time a cop thought she was parking illegally in the disabled space, and approached her preparing to give a ticket (she had JUST parked so her placard wasn't up yet) and as he started talking she just put up her disabled veteran placard for him to see. As soon as she did that he lost all his confidence and started apologizing profusely. My mother and I still laugh about this. I think he learned a lesson about not assuming.
Don't need to "stay strong" when uR already a badass advocate living her best life 😎
I have scoliosis and other medical issues. So it has taken me a while to accept I’ll never be 100% healthy but that’s okay….
There’s still good that come out of it like I know who my real friends are…
#1 is so true. Ive been sick since i was 6, i highly doubt I'll ever fully recover. I just adapt to where I'm at now and manage new issues
I will encourage you to keep dressing like an absolute queen! Love the girly girl fashion inspo
My daughter is disabled and our extended family still doesn't understand that ot isn't going to get better.
I feel like calling it "Special needs" is so dumb. We have the same needs, all of us. We simply require different things for those needs to be met!
yes! like our needs are not “special”…ew! they are necessary accommodations, protocols, equipment, etc that we have to have to simply go on with our lives. it’s like people are trying to make it all sound cute✋🏽
and don’t get me started on the tone in which they say it too! sounds like they’re talking to a puppy😭
Your needs for additional support is not the same as everyone else. I think that’s what it means.
@@PennyJackson123 hi! i just want to clear this up because i’m a little confused. are you talking about the meaning of “special needs”?
Watching you and other content creators advocate for your accommodations literally inspires me to advocate for the accommodations i need at work and home. So that is why i find you inspiring. And i hope thats not the kind of inspiring that bothers you. 😊
the dancing around the word disabled never fails to make me mad. it's a word! you're meant to use it to make sure people understand what you're saying! it just makes everyone uncomfortable
“Full recovery” absolutely sends me into the stratosphere rage wise. Idk what it is, but it’s just…infuriating. I think it also serves to make me feel less than when, up to that point, I felt equal to the public, I just go about things a lil differently. I know I won’t make a full recovery, I’ll just manage my issues, and, before someone says that, again, I felt whole already, but now I don’t, even if just for a fleeting moment.
My biggest one is when they say they'll pray for you. Like wtf you just stopped me going about my day to single me out and assume I'm wishing for a cure.
I wish my sis and BIL would stop telling me they think I’ll make a full recovery. The only way that’s gonna happen is if I wake up one day healed. And what’s worse they tell me I’m wrong like I don’t know my own disability.
I was born with a birth defect and ALL of these I relate to. I own a cute dachshund (weiner dog) & he relies on pain meds for his back issue. One day, I came into the vet's office to refill my dog's Rx. An older man asked me what was wrong with me in a joking manner, mimicking my limp, & I had to explain I was born with a bad foot... the guy apologized, telling me he was just "joking" while internally I was very upset. I don't mind when people ask as my limp I can't hide, but to mimic my limpimg...to me that's going too far. ☹️
I literally had a family member tell me he would unalive himself if he had my health problems. I was so shocked i didn't know what to say.
I have Lupus so I can relate to almost all of this. When people say "get better" I'm like "Sure, Jan. There's no cure, but ok." The inspirational one is a funny one too, like, I'm a hot mess, not an inspiration.
I was literally cringing the whole timeeee all those phrases are so ridiculous 😅
As someone with ASD, ADHD and decently bad anxiety, some of those have been said to me as well, and they make me cringe SO much! I get people trying to be thoughtful, and they think they’re helping or somth, but NEVER say any of those to literally any kind of disabled person. Please🙃
Ive never understood telling people a version of get well soon for chronic conditions. It may be the fact that i have a chronic illness myself, but it's always made more sense to me to say something like I hope your flare up lessens soon/return to your baseline instead or just like not saying any of it at all. And thats like only when youre having a personal discussion of symptoms with another, not like just randomly telling people you see out and about. That part of strangers saying it has always weirded me out
i thought i was alone in this. its not that im not still adjusting to my disability, but ive come to terms with it. i cant describe why it gives me the ick when people tell me to stay strong, but i absolutely relate ❤ love your content 😊
Yes! Thanks for watching ❤️
What spoken sentiments make you feel good? I think people admire you for different reasons.
Thank you for helping educate us! Wishing you all the best ❤
You put it all so elegantly. Could've not said it better!!
Oh dear heavens, not the “differently abled” one!
I get it, you’re not trying to offend anyone, but a lot of people use the term disabled. (Hopefully) no one is going to punch you in the face and “expose” you on TikTok for using the word disabled.
You can use another term if you want, but make sure it’s okay with the person you’re speaking about!
Yes to all of the above! Though I am in a wheelchair and need the accessible parking spot for obvious reasons.. I’ve been disabled for 20 years now, it’s not going to get better if anything some things have gotten worse!
You actually are inspirational.
I just said it was my pet peeve - it’d be courteous to come up with a different compliment 😉
@@SarahToddHammer This entire comment section is filled with people insisting on calling you inspiration and it's truly pissing me off
I Have A Few Disabilities Mostly Invisible And I Hear These Things All The Time “Stay Strong” “Your Not Disabled” “Your Inspirational” 🙄 I Appreciate The Thought But It Doesn’t Come Across How You Think It Does
Yes my father in law had cancer and had a disability parking badge.. he could only walk a little bit before being exhausted!
I always appreciate your videos and you for educating others about these topics. If someone feels they need to compliment you or express support do you have any suggestions of things that would be appropriate to say?
hi there! i know i’m not sarah todd, but as a disabled person i do have a bit of insight if you’re interested. honestly don’t think too hard about it! if you want to compliment her for her advocacy for the disabled community and accessibility, you can just say that!
for example: i really appreciate how passionate you are and your willingness to speak out about access needs and accommodations!
i don’t know if this is exactly what you were looking for, but i hope it helps! of course this is just my perspective and i don’t speak for anyone else /genuine😊
@ thank you for taking the time to respond. Responses will vary from person to person so I think all feedback is good. This is a situation where people are well meaning but not well educated in how they should respond so the more examples of appropriate ways to respond the better!
I love your suggestion. Happy holidays and have a wonderful new year!
@@leobuddy1518 thank you so much! i’m glad i could help and happy holidays to you as well😊
Thank you so much for this education!
I love your make up can you do a full on makeup video please ❤❤❤
I didn’t knew that some of those could be pet peeves.
Thanks for sharing it ❤
I get the recovery one. I have a minor disability that is completely alleviated by a medication and I still get family asking when I will be cured so I can stop taking the medication.
But like, I feel I'm very lucky. It took years, but I found something that worked. Many people don't. I feel it should be enough to be satisfied with a solution, you know?
That shirt looks beautiful on you!!
Hii I’m Alyssa and I love u so much I’ve been here almost 2 years ❤❤❤❤
omg your so pretty also where is your shirt from i love it 💞
Dress from LoveShackFancy :)
Yes, very good points
Ooh do I have a double pet peeve in one example. I had an international friend once. Apparently she was telling her boyfriend about me. She said to him that I 'was so resilient and positive.' His response was "Yeah that's a typical American." I feel that I'm neither positive nor resilient, I just do the best I can with the health issues I've been dealt. How is that 'so American'?
I appreciate the wisdom here ,tyvm for sharing 😊
I completely agree.
I love your content thank you for sharing your story
Im multi disabled but I don't want that to define me. We are all different so maybe we could try to accept each other for who we are. We come in all kinds of shapes, colors, and abilities so get over it. Would people address a person of color and tell them they are colorabled?
You are inspirational but not because of your disability but because of the person you are. I agree on your other points though.
hi there! disabled person here! while i’m not sarah todd and i’m absolutely not trying to speak for her, i do have to say that even though you aren’t calling her inspirational for simply being disabled, many of us still don’t like to be called it. many of us prefer to be complimented in other ways and using different terminology. i do agree with your overall message! i love her content and her advocacy for the disabled community /genuine😊
Thank you for this video
All of this!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!
❣️
All of this!
Don’t worry you can survive without social media 💗🥂🎀