We found this to be excellent advice, and really appreciate that the subject of inappropriate self touching was covered as well. At less than 500 views, this is a greatly underrated video.
Thank you so much for your sharing! It is indeed a concern for all parents to know. When We really understand our children from their perspectives instead of ours, we can love them as who they are no matter what happens. God bless!
This is great advice but what about if grandparents aunts or uncles are looking after the kids for any reason? What happens then if you say it’s only mum and dad that can do that? They might get confused and say no when the grandparent or other family member helps get them dressed or bathed etc
That's so true. Even if that is the case, though, boundaries can still be talked about and skills to enforce those boundaries can be learned and practiced. If there is another adult in that child's life that is invested in keeping them safe, I would hope that they would take the time to equip the child with needed safety measures.
This is great however most of the abuse that takes place is within the family or friendship network and some children like to be touched by their parents because its done in a gentle grooming type of way and the child likes attention from the parent and becomes confused, so what do you say in these circumstances?
That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too! If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information: teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/ I hope this helps!
What about forcing your kids to give hugs and kisses to relatives? If you teach kids to accept forcible touching, then how will they tell the difference? If you force your kid to hug uncle Ralph, what will she say when he hugs her from behind and he pushed his crotch against her? She'll think it feels icky, but she won't tell her parents, because she's been taught that grownups have a right to hug her.
I think it's totally appropriate to discuss boundaries with physical touch. Explain that some people will expect certain kinds of physical touch, but that if your child feels uncomfortable, then they can politely say "no thank you" and not participate. If the other person persists, then your child can walk away. Come up with a play for what to do in uncomfortable situations and role play it (physically act it out so they have a reference). If you feel the need, you could take the extra step to reach out to family members who could be "offenders" of your boundaries and let them know what your new family policy is regarding physical touch with relatives. I hope that helps!
I guess so. I always believed that with all the horrible things going on in the world, a kid refusing to give hugs won't upset the order of the universe.@@TeachingSelfGovernment
Contrary to popular belief, this is actually very easy for a 4-year-old to comprehend. My daughter uses this language with her 19-month old and the toddler understands very well. They can't respond with all of the verbiage just yet, but they understand everything very well. My grandchild can follow instructions, accept "no" answers, and even disagree appropriately. It just takes deliberate teaching and action.
How to Calm Down a Temper Tantrum - th-cam.com/video/Q7xtdQ0ikdc/w-d-xo.html
We found this to be excellent advice, and really appreciate that the subject of inappropriate self touching was covered as well. At less than 500 views, this is a greatly underrated video.
Sorry I'm just now getting to this. I'm so glad this was helpful! Please feel free to share it so more people can benefit too!
I showed this clip to my son because of certain issues that have came up. Thank you for this video. Much appreciated 💕
My son is 6 and he was in school when he put his hands down his pants.. is this normal? His mother is blaming me for it
Thank you so much for your sharing! It is indeed a concern for all parents to know. When We really understand our children from their perspectives instead of ours, we can love them as who they are no matter what happens. God bless!
Wow!! Amazing, thanks 💕❤️You put this in words that I could t seem to find. I’m grateful that you exist!
Happy to help!
This is great advice but what about if grandparents aunts or uncles are looking after the kids for any reason? What happens then if you say it’s only mum and dad that can do that? They might get confused and say no when the grandparent or other family member helps get them dressed or bathed etc
This convo is beyond average very small child
I’m really sad that as a big sister I need to do this. Because my parents are narcissist and just give up
It's hard to fill in sometimes, but I'm so glad you're helping your siblings learn about this. It's important!
This was perfect !
What makes this talk so hard is when the child's abuser is their own parent
That's so true. Even if that is the case, though, boundaries can still be talked about and skills to enforce those boundaries can be learned and practiced. If there is another adult in that child's life that is invested in keeping them safe, I would hope that they would take the time to equip the child with needed safety measures.
This was great advice. Thank you.
You're welcome!
This is great however most of the abuse that takes place is within the family or friendship network and some children like to be touched by their parents because its done in a gentle grooming type of way and the child likes attention from the parent and becomes confused, so what do you say in these circumstances?
Thank you I m learning to try to talk to my son about stuff like that its hard ha
❤this, well said.
Thank you!
If they show themselves, do I suppose to report it? Bc I was told i supposed to have
Amazing Advice
Glad you found it helpful!
You are welcome
Thanks so much.
You're welcome!
Thank you!
Can you teach more on this subject I have an 11 year old daughter
That is a great question! The full response to your question is too long to type up here, but I'd love to learn more about your situation and have the opportunity to answer your question on one of my weekly Support Group calls that happen Wednesday mornings at 8am MST. That way, other people that have similar questions and concerns to yours can hear the answer too!
If you’re interested in talking with me more about it, check out the link for more information:
teachingselfgovernment.com/store/support-group/
I hope this helps!
You are so smart!!!
Thank you
You're welcome!
What about forcing your kids to give hugs and kisses to relatives? If you teach kids to accept forcible touching, then how will they tell the difference? If you force your kid to hug uncle Ralph, what will she say when he hugs her from behind and he pushed his crotch against her? She'll think it feels icky, but she won't tell her parents, because she's been taught that grownups have a right to hug her.
I think it's totally appropriate to discuss boundaries with physical touch. Explain that some people will expect certain kinds of physical touch, but that if your child feels uncomfortable, then they can politely say "no thank you" and not participate. If the other person persists, then your child can walk away. Come up with a play for what to do in uncomfortable situations and role play it (physically act it out so they have a reference). If you feel the need, you could take the extra step to reach out to family members who could be "offenders" of your boundaries and let them know what your new family policy is regarding physical touch with relatives.
I hope that helps!
I guess so. I always believed that with all the horrible things going on in the world, a kid refusing to give hugs won't upset the order of the universe.@@TeachingSelfGovernment
Lifesaver
God bless you 🙏 ❤
The approach and vocabulary is too advanced for a 4 year old to understand.
Contrary to popular belief, this is actually very easy for a 4-year-old to comprehend. My daughter uses this language with her 19-month old and the toddler understands very well. They can't respond with all of the verbiage just yet, but they understand everything very well. My grandchild can follow instructions, accept "no" answers, and even disagree appropriately. It just takes deliberate teaching and action.
Thank you
Thank you
You're most welcome!