I love the concept of the POV character honing in on one or two features of another character rather than noticing all of their features with equal detail at first meeting and then introducing more about them over a bit of time. One could even manipulate that progression by how the characters meet each other. If they met via a video conference where only their face was on camera, the initial description is constrained by default.
4:46 this makes me think of how, in one book, Hercule Poirot had suspects describe the room in which the murder took place. They complied, but thought that they were indulging him by answering a silly and unimportant question. They didn’t realize that he took into account that what they would notice (or would not notice) told its own story about them as people.
Something I’ve noticed that I appreciate as a reader is when the amount of description is proportional to how significant that character will be. I’ve read stories that every POV gave a full name and detailed physical description of almost every character no matter how insignificant. It very quickly becomes too much and I lose track of what’s important and what isn’t. I subconsciously focus in more when a character is being described so it can be disorienting when I’ve expended extra focus only for it to not have been relevant at all.
You could use that example of the character who doesn't notice things very well suddenly describing something in great detail as a way of showing that the character actually cares about that person or thing, so much so that it grabs his or her attention where nothing else really does.
In writing my current novel, I’ve disregarded people’s attention spans. I wrote a book that I love. I can’t possibly write a book, that will make everyone happy. I love listening to long audiobooks it’s relaxing, may not be everyone’s cup of tea. You beautiful ladies drop the best advice. You’re both are like glistening pink diamonds; pink diamonds are in my novel. 10,000 thanks!
Hahaha disregarding people’s attention span😂 if I write a book I’ll first make a chapter that’ll just describe all the acronyms in the book and I’ll write with only acronyms 😅talk about attention lol
Do be careful. Readers tend to have a longer attention span than most already, and if you push it too much, it’s a sign that your pacing is wrong. That said, if your first chapter or two can give the reader of the general speed of the story, they can make an informed decision on whether or not that’ll be a problem for them. Not every story benefits from fight scenes or adventurous excitement around every corner, but you have to work at a pace that people for your genre and feel would appreciate. You are first and foremost writing for yourself, and if it feels right to you, you’re likely into something, but if you want an audience you sometimes have to realize that even when a scene is beautiful, if the pacing is off, it may be grueling to read.
The improved description of the honey suckle sky eyes person was wonderful. I’m always afraid to stop the moment to describe someone because I don’t want to seem desperate to get my vision across but that was time stoppingly wonderful
Sometimes movie adaptation outrage isn't caused by a lack of description in the book, though, but rather some fans not accepting the description. Like in the case of Rue from The Hunger Games. Great video! I'm so excited to use all these tips in my WIP :D
I've been a nightschooler in further education for more years than I care to remember. I'm now a subscriber to your 'channel' (I'm pushing 70) and I'm absorbed, I'm back in the classroom and back to the typewriter. Thank you, ladies.
Welcome to the I''m pushing something club. I'm pushing 80 this year and love listening to these two elegant Vermont ladies! Their information and suggestions are so practical and informed I'm imenselyl pleased I discovered their blogs.
In my 60s and doing the same. I find the advice on this channel extremely good. Find it hard to believe both women have the amount of knowledge they do, would have thought they'd be older. But I know that age doesn't indicated wisdom. Keep up the great work on this channel!
I took 6 paragraphs to describe one of my characters. Another character was interacting with him for the first time and the paragraphs describe him noticing different details as he noticed them. E.g. from my own story... He placed it down onto the workbench where the tall, slender machinist ran his worked hands over it, feeling every dent and imperfection on its surface. “Wait up,” he said, his sharp, chiselled face curious. He noticed Harry’s long, slender arms were covered in scars similar to his own and to the majority of the men in the camp. His face was angular, resembling an ancient Greek statue. Harry, impressed with Ned’s work, looked at him with his riveting green eyes
Thank you both so much! I've been concerned that I was putting in a bit too much description of the main MC by the main FC (and POV narrator), though it comes out in little dribbles: a mention here of his black curly hair, a reference there to eyes so dark one would hardly notice they were blue, all the while insisting that she paid him no attention whatsoever. (It soon comes out in a conversation with her neighbor that she dislikes blue eyes, particularly in men.) It's not that I want the reader to know just what he looks like; I'm hoping that this provides evidence of her unreliability as a narrator and her unwilling attraction to him despite the fact that he managed to annoy her right off the bat and a few times thereafter. Since she really can't say much to describe describe her own appearance, less is known of that for the first few chapters, though her nature is better revealed, both by her thoughts and actions and by her conversations with her neighbors. I think (hope) that some important ideas will be revealed by such lines as >
I love your content Abbie! You've helped me so much on my writing journey, and figuring out my novel! So exited for your new book can't wait to read it! 🥰
Hey Abbie Emmons I love your videos! Your are very good at explaining story writing in a way that I can understand. You inspire me a lot as a writer! I’m having problems writing Male characters. As a female I can write female characters but I struggle a lot with writing male one. I wanted to know if you could make a video on that. Thank You!
I'm a new writer on Kindle Vella, and your videos are very helpful. Watching this made me realize I'm not spending anywhere near enough time on character description.
Thank you for sharing your views on, how much is too much or too little. What I find very helpful is your template - an indispensable tool for me, Thank You, Ha Ha Katie's observations on the characters in the book and the same character in the movie are so different, sometimes shockingly so. I'm learning to Rock! off stage thanks to you. I can perceive my emergent game plan ( Moving towards me like a parchment shrouded in a mysterious cloud) to round off my writing protocols...A large part of my grounding is owed to you'll 🙏✍🙏
when I'm reading a book and read physycial descriptions I tend to mentally "cast" famous celebrities as these characters since I already know what they look like so it's easier to picture the characters
Can you please do a video on Media Literacy? I was taught by my professors in college thar good writers & storytellers are also good researchers who are able to effectively analyse and deconstruct how fiction and media works It would at least help against the flood of atrocious hot takes that pollute the internet nowadays
Something I really like, which is demonstrated well in the book Priest by Matthew Colville, is when you can infer things about the character by their actions. For example you never get a description of the main character Heden, instead they say stuff like ‘he tried to run after them but his bones rattled in disagreement’. In other words we now know he’s old👍🏽
0:56, honestly you could describe them with a specific feature three times and a lot people will swear they were never described like that in the book. (*cough cough* Rue *cough*)
When I'm reading, if they don't give me much description of a character than I come up with an image in my head of what I imagine that character looking like. Then two books later they mention her auburn hair. "Wait! What?!" I personally become annoyed at this. But I started writing my book then realized. I haven't put any character descriptions in here! It is because I already see the character in my head so I don't feel the need to write it down. Although sometimes I don't write descriptions because I'm not sure what I want them to look like yet. So I definitely struggle with this.
“Small” Character Description of a character I’m writing: She has bright sapphire blue eyes that look as though they have seen heaven and hell all at once. Her complexion is dark; and if you get close enough, you can see the freckles littering her smooth skin. Her hair is the color of gold coins that have seen much age and have passed hands many, many times. She’s tall, but not quite enough so to stand out. She is far beyond conventionally attractive- she’s beautiful; her build is fair, and slim, and smooth. She catches attention, sure, but she keeps to the shadows and keeps her distance- as though she believes she is an object of observation, not one to be communicated with or understood. More for me than from a POV of another character, but it could be.
I only need a few basics, especially if they are noteworthy or unusual. Like I will assume they are average height (so tell me if they are not). Hair color/texture is nice to know. But brow? Jaw? Don't care. 😆 Almost like a caricature, just show us the most standout features. Scent only seems to appear in romances. I couldn't tell you my friends' scents. 😉But great video and points, thank you. 💛
My story starts through the eyes of the main character waking up after an accident, still at the scene of the accident. They have temporal memory loss so they don't know who they are and they are aware that something bad just happened, but they look over themselves and and I loosely describe their black combat boots, cargo pants and thin white vest. I don't yet mention their gender, or their hair or skin colour. Does that sound okay? It's only later when they are at a place of temporary safety that they see themselves in a mirror and that's where I describe their reflection as they see it. It's as if they are looking at a face for the first time. Do you think that's okay? It only takes a few pages to get to that point so the reader is not guessing for long? Do you think that would be okay?
Great video and great advice. The biggest call out to me was the context question...what do you want to feature or call attention to given the circumstances. Why are you describing what you're describing for that character.
What are the rules for secondary characters? Besides the fact that they need to be related to the main plot one way or another, what do we have to keep in mind? How can we know it's a good idea to bring back a specific secondary character? In general, what do we need to keep in mind?
Make them contrast the main protagonist in a compelling way that highlights a character flaw. For example if you have a grizzled and cynical middle age man who is world- weary, have an naive and optimistic young child/pre-teen/teenager for them to interact with, and see how their worldviews and life experiences conflict Basically think of Joel and Ellie in The Last of Us HBO series
There was an episode of CSI where two people gave their description of a subject to the police sketch artist. The 20-something girl who flirted with the perpetrator describes him using flattering words and idyllic features, the other account is from a young girl, who describes the assailant as a monster. Both are describing the same individual, but their personal bias tainted how they recollected this man's image. As an author, you can play with this concept and have the POV character's bias influence how the reader perceives the world. OR, you can choose to remove their stance from the descriptions and state everything a objectively as possible. As always, use your best judgment to see what works for your writing style and the characters in your story. But be aware that not all characters in your story need to see someone the same.
Generally, third person limited follows only one character (at a time/per chapter). The narrator can only access that character's thoughts and point of view (though it's still in third person). Third person omniscient is where the narrator can access the thoughts and point of view of multiple (or all) characters. Basically: Reading one person's mind versus reading everyone's minds.
In third limited, you are stuck focusing on one character and their thoughts. In omniscient, you essentially tell the story from multiple characters simultaneously. I'll update with examples as soon as I can. (and hopefully explain better.) Examples: Third Omniscient: Dune (basically no spoilers, this is from the first chapter, and nothing plot relevant happens in these lines) Bold means inner monologue for those confused. It's in italics in the book, but I couldn't figure that out. *Damn that Jessica!* the Reverend mother thought. *if only she'd borne us a girl as she was ordered to do* Jessica stopped three paces from the chair, dropped a small curtsy, a gentle flick of left hand along the line of her skirt. Paul gave the short bow of his dancing master had taught-- the one used "when in doubt of another's station." Jessica's hand went to Paul's shoulder, tightened there.For a heartbeat, fear pulsed through her palm. Then she had herself under control. "thus he had been taught Your Reverence." *What does she fear?* Paul wondered. As we can see, we access the inner thoughts of three separate characters in this scene. There are only paragraph breaks in between the transitions, whereas a third person limited novel would only have to focus on, say, Paul's emotions and POV, and would have to make a POV transition very clear, I'll update with an example of third limited soon. Here's your third limited example: Grab a book off your shelf and read it. 60% it's third limited.
In S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders, she did a great job at not giving too much detail. I was quickly able to make a mental image of them in my mind, mostly because I watched the movie first.
Love it if you would do something for those who might want to do a graphic novel or comic book. I'm into drawing right now because writing seems to have stalled for the moment. Thank you. But I still watch the retreats and enjoy writing and creating with others and you.
I think I'm just too autistic for character descriptions like these. When I meet a person for the first time, I don't notice if they are a walking ray of sunshine. I notice a few things about their looks, sometimes I get aesthetic attraction. I might notice their clothing style. And that's it for the first impression. Except when they talk. I will probably get more info from the subtext of their speech than I get from their looks.
Hey Abbie, I thought I had nailed it, thought I got everything right for my debut middle grade historical fiction 😅from the descriptions to the inciting incident to the pinch point, the internal/external conflict, etc...but just the other day saw on Goodreads 😢my book Escape from Bussorah Street received a 2-star rating from two readers, without giving their reviews! Where did I go wrong 🤔
Day 2 of asking for a video on your favourite romance troupes list Also great job on this video I really loved how you explained how to describe a character! It really helps! THANKS!
I'm assuming you add all these details in a full length novel, but I'm working on a short story and I'm not quite sure how much detail is too much detail. I know it takes place in the winter time, (miid December), and there's one main character is home from college and babysitting his three teenage siblings and at least four other people show up through-out the story. (This story has nothing to do with Christmas...it's just the time of the year it takes place). But one draft I feel like I haven't added enough detail, and another draft I feel like has too much detail. Can you help guide me into the perfect amount for a short story?
A pragmatic way of looking at it disregarding POV is only mentioning details as they are relevant or are going to be relevant. So if we're in a room where a high tense scene with a confrontation between two spies from different organizations fighting, I would before the scene starts describe the room with details relating to the mood of the room, the intended importance and use, and listing any objects that will become useful in the fight later. So mood and intended importance to contrast the misuse and current antithetical mood during the fight, and the objects in the room to show how they are important during the scene. So Summary: 1. Every description has a use. Just think about the use of the description and how it will be relevant. 2. Keep in mind the use and utility within the story, so you don't make it unclear.
With regards to physical descriptions, there is nothing that will turn me off faster than a full paragraph describing what a character is wearing...like, we get it your character is so alternative and *~edgy~* but I literally do not care about their stripey red and black sweater, studded platform boots, and ripped black jeans. I do not care, lol.
I feel it's fairly simple. You don't describe every single thing about people you see daily or normally. Those things become invisible. Doing that in writing is just flat out info dumping. Tell me what I need to know when I need to know it.
I actually prefer Jane Austen's lack of physical descriptions. She tells almost nothing about her characters' appearances because that's not important for the story. It doesn't matter what color Elizabeth Bennet's hair is. All we need to know is that she's not as pretty as Jane so we understand why Mr. Darcy doesn't find her attractive at first but finds her more beautiful as he falls in love with her.
It's also interesting that adaptations have generally gone with a blonde Jane and a brunette Lizzy, giving away a lot about our societal beauty standards.
@@SR-zp4je Which might even be one of the reasons why Slipper and the Rose is my favorite Cinderella adaptation--first one I ever saw in which Cinderella was brunette (and as a brunette myself, it always grated when blonde/blue eyes was equated with prettier than brown hair/brown eyes).
My dear beta reader (who is close to me) keeps wanting me to slow down and include extra description of characters (in what should be a quick flashback) whom we will never see again. They were only included to show how the main character struggled with the kids who were around her early in life. How much should I slow down for these?
Writing a book was always my dream. But how do you deal with finding out that another author alteady had the same idea as you in the past? I struggle with that a lot.
It’s all been done before, but that doesn’t discredit your book. Your ideas and character arcs will be different than the other author. What you should hon in, I think, is the internal conflict and their transformation. If it makes you feel better, change some details, make them distinct.
@juliancocaesario most stories are good versus evil, how you want to show and give the lesson of good versus evil is up to your imagination. You are uniquely you so it will be a different story.
Hi Abbie! I love your videos and your advice, as they have helped my writing tremendously. I just wanted to pop in and see if I could get your opinion on something: I have been thinking about signing up and participating on a writing platform that allows writers to publish their novels chapter-by-chapter and receive feedback. However, I plan to attempt to traditionally publish the novel I'm currently working on and am not sure whether posting my work on a platform like that would affect my chances of being traditionally published. Do agents and publishers look at that sort of thing? Any information you might have about this would be great :)
Sorry. I know I'm not Abbie, but if the platform actually has you "publish" each chapter (for anyone to read), then most publishers would reject any queries bc your book was already "first published," so it's risky. I heard that Goodreads is one place (as well as trusted family members) to find beta readers who can read your book and give you their general impression and advice (that you can take with caution depending on each person's taste and experience).
How would one describe a character’s height? Because I can’t think of a single book I’ve read where any of the characters were described like “he was 5’9”.
The two examples you mentioned..is it weird that I liked the first one more..I'm not a professional nor do I read novels that much neither is english my first language needless to say this video was for professionals aiming to become writers and not for me... Edit : on second thought flat example is not better than the other😅
Currently writing a character who went through a magical shape change seeing herself in the mirror for the first time. I plan on writing it as an experience rather than a observation. Trailing a finger over her freckles. Running a hand trough her new hair. Stuff like that. Here is to hoping I don't make it creepy
Same! He was also blonde, which we knew at the very end of the book. But while reading the book, I pictured him as a red-head instead of blonde and felt weird when it was revealed he was blonde.
Hello Abbie. For the longest time i've always stuggled to write good descriptions for my story characters, But not just their facial and body looks. My stories are based off Tokusatu shows and dramas, such as Kamen Rider & Super Sentai/Power Rangers. My question is, what is a good way to better describe the body suits/Power armor, masks and helmets my characters wear without going overboard on a info dump, but still giving my readers a good description on how they look?
@@Headtheif101 sorry. It just made me feel bad because it’s not the kind of request that receives a response. That said have you made any progress with the descriptive language issue?
To avoid info dumping, you should choose the most important descriptions of the item. (In this case, suits. Color, material, purpose, etc). People are more likely to remember a function over an exact description (bulletproof police suit). You probably cant get readers to see exactly what you do, but people know in general what a helmet looks like. (And you can get more specific: Bike helmet, motorcycle helmet, astronaut helmet, etc). Try not to over-describe anything unnecessary. Does it really matter if the reader knows exactly what the helmet looks like? Give big descriptions with a well-chosen word sprinkled into the story. Example: info dump description: The pink suit was made of bulletproof material that reflected in the sun. The helmet's visor was clear, while the rest of the helmet was the same shiny pink as the suit. The suit was as tight as catwomans. Descriptions within action example: She shoved up the helmet's visor as she dove at the attacker firing his gun. The pink fabric of her form-fitting suit deflected the bullet.
I may be a unicorn in this community, but I continually struggle to visualize characters regardless of how well they are described. I still love reading and writing. Unfortunately, my mind struggles with this skill.
There are some writers I know personally, who will describe a character with one trait, and then halfway through their book, I find out the character is Indian (from India). Some writers are waaaaaaaaaay too vague with their character descriptions. YOU, Abbie, are one of those writers. I understand that you are purposely vague because then your audience can insert themselves into the character, but for me, if I don't have a clear vision of the character, I get confused easily. When I was reading "The Best Christmas Ever" I just assumed YOU were the main character and pictured you. BUT (a big BUT) if people hadn't seen your YT videos or saw a picture of the author, I would have been completely lost as to what the character looks like. I guess you could use the metaphor of salt. Too much really sours the piece, whereas too little leaves the meal bland. I don't think "Honeysuckle hair and sky blue eyes" is a very good description, because one, I have no idea what honeysuckle looks like. I googled it, and depending on the age one the honeysuckle, it can be strong yellow to white, and two, with "sky blue eyes" you've got to understand, the sky is a 1000 different colors during the day. When I do magic tricks, I have a bit where I ask people, what color is the sky? They always say blue, but the joke is that I always ask this at night, when the sky is black. I know when you say sky blue that you mean blue, but is it a hazy blue? A saturated blue? A pastel blue? Greenish blue? Grayish blue? Teal? I don't know what "sky blue" is referring to and I found the description confusing.
I really dislike when authors explains way too much so thats a full page of description or way too less like a sentence or some words.describing should be moderate and not too much so the readers can enjoy what they're reading.
I have a pov character who is good at describing new characters but I can’t find a not awkward way to describe existing characters because my MC already knows what it looks like.
As just a reader I’ve noticed this feels most natural when the MC is in situations that they can watch how the existing characters interact with others. Particularly letting the MC describe how others respond to the known character. Maybe the MC has a best friend is very attractive. The MC might not be attracted to their friend themselves, but the MC probably would notice that others always seem to comment on how attractive the friend is. Or the MC notices that certain things just come easier to the friend because they are attractive. Just a thought. 😊
But, people's jawlines can differ a ton from person to person and have a huge impact on a viewer's impression. If the jawline is "double," maybe that person struggles with self-discipline or has health issues (or personal challenges) that have affected his or her inner perspective.
POV: *Me a foreigner* " w a i t what's a honeysuckle? * lolz honeysuckle🤠* can - can i eat it ( •-•)? yeah noo i sweetly don't care about her smiling days in june.. or what symbole girl has on her anckle today! HONEY iʼm tattooed in *Time* here 😭📱 - only shot i got today😑🔭 A.. ✨ *sCREEnSH0T* ✨ 👁️👄👁️🤳🏻
Why should I describe at all. What about the name someone throughs on the protagonist? Does it not describe him? Why should I describe his hair when there is a scene on the beach when he has to pull his curly, blond, brown, thin, dirty hair out of his face? I do not describe my protagonist. It comes piece by piece.
Hey…I’m in love with her, but You’re too much a part of me to let go. She’s completely fine with it if I meet you… because she understands that I never had a choice and she’ll give it to me. I believe that it’s only right if we actually try and see what happens. Will you come to India, princess Jasmine?
I like you Kate but: Then the movie comes out and there is outrage because nobody thought that the character looks like that, sounds to me like a writer's luxuary problem.
I don't like that in the example you mentioned: "She makes everybody around her smile", or so. It is telling, not showing. I'd prefer see this behavior by the story, not description.
Your very beautiful girls. I'd love to be there while you were doing this. Awesome---Very very good. I have to start- NOW! in doing this. I write fair and even good story projects. But You don't see the characters, You don't feel the emotions of the characters. It's yes- Formatted in Pro software but it lacks the thing when some one reads it - Do they feel the film.
I appreciate you addressing this issue, but your math is a bit off. You say you need two or three out of four things, but really, your list is 10, and just two of those could equal an info dump.
@@starstruckmanic Characters only become real when their worldview, expressed through their actions, conflicts with the world they live in. Who cares if he had sandy hair and his favorite color was green? Maybe he was wearing a plaid shirt too but that didn't matter because the gunshot in the bedroom told him his five-year-old found his service revolver. You see, Mac was only good at one thing, or at least he thought so before he was laid off. For the last eight months, he had been feeling worthless as the financial pressures closed in on him like a boa around his throat. It's hard to demonstrate the idea in a few words without sounding completely melodramatic. HTAYQ.
To any aspiring writers reading this, pls don’t listen to this advice.. When I read, I’m imaging a movie in my head. I can’t do that without a good description. I can fill in the blanks and make up my own character designs in my head, sure, but I would much rather know that I’m envisioning the scene the way the author intended I get what u are saying don’t get me wrong, but there is an importance to character descriptions
I love the concept of the POV character honing in on one or two features of another character rather than noticing all of their features with equal detail at first meeting and then introducing more about them over a bit of time. One could even manipulate that progression by how the characters meet each other. If they met via a video conference where only their face was on camera, the initial description is constrained by default.
Beautiful idea
4:46 this makes me think of how, in one book, Hercule Poirot had suspects describe the room in which the murder took place. They complied, but thought that they were indulging him by answering a silly and unimportant question. They didn’t realize that he took into account that what they would notice (or would not notice) told its own story about them as people.
Cards on the table, if I'm not mistaken? For anyone wondering.
@@roshpotter06 exactly. Hi, fellow Christie fan! 👋
Something I’ve noticed that I appreciate as a reader is when the amount of description is proportional to how significant that character will be. I’ve read stories that every POV gave a full name and detailed physical description of almost every character no matter how insignificant. It very quickly becomes too much and I lose track of what’s important and what isn’t. I subconsciously focus in more when a character is being described so it can be disorienting when I’ve expended extra focus only for it to not have been relevant at all.
So relatable. Sometimes the info dumping gets too much, msking me putting the book aside.
You could use that example of the character who doesn't notice things very well suddenly describing something in great detail as a way of showing that the character actually cares about that person or thing, so much so that it grabs his or her attention where nothing else really does.
In writing my current novel, I’ve disregarded people’s attention spans. I wrote a book that I love. I can’t possibly write a book, that will make everyone happy. I love listening to long audiobooks it’s relaxing, may not be everyone’s cup of tea. You beautiful ladies drop the best advice. You’re both are like glistening pink diamonds; pink diamonds are in my novel. 10,000 thanks!
Hahaha disregarding people’s attention span😂 if I write a book I’ll first make a chapter that’ll just describe all the acronyms in the book and I’ll write with only acronyms 😅talk about attention lol
Do be careful. Readers tend to have a longer attention span than most already, and if you push it too much, it’s a sign that your pacing is wrong. That said, if your first chapter or two can give the reader of the general speed of the story, they can make an informed decision on whether or not that’ll be a problem for them. Not every story benefits from fight scenes or adventurous excitement around every corner, but you have to work at a pace that people for your genre and feel would appreciate. You are first and foremost writing for yourself, and if it feels right to you, you’re likely into something, but if you want an audience you sometimes have to realize that even when a scene is beautiful, if the pacing is off, it may be grueling to read.
The improved description of the honey suckle sky eyes person was wonderful. I’m always afraid to stop the moment to describe someone because I don’t want to seem desperate to get my vision across but that was time stoppingly wonderful
Sometimes movie adaptation outrage isn't caused by a lack of description in the book, though, but rather some fans not accepting the description. Like in the case of Rue from The Hunger Games. Great video! I'm so excited to use all these tips in my WIP :D
I've been a nightschooler in further education for more years than I care to remember. I'm now a subscriber to your 'channel' (I'm pushing 70) and I'm absorbed, I'm back in the classroom and back to the typewriter. Thank you, ladies.
Welcome to the I''m pushing something club. I'm pushing 80 this year and love listening to these two elegant Vermont ladies! Their information and suggestions are so practical and informed I'm imenselyl pleased I discovered their blogs.
In my 60s and doing the same. I find the advice on this channel extremely good. Find it hard to believe both women have the amount of knowledge they do, would have thought they'd be older. But I know that age doesn't indicated wisdom. Keep up the great work on this channel!
I took 6 paragraphs to describe one of my characters. Another character was interacting with him for the first time and the paragraphs describe him noticing different details as he noticed them. E.g. from my own story...
He placed it down onto the workbench where the tall, slender machinist ran his worked hands over it, feeling every dent and imperfection on its surface.
“Wait up,” he said, his sharp, chiselled face curious.
He noticed Harry’s long, slender arms were covered in scars similar to his own and to the majority of the men in the camp. His face was angular, resembling an ancient Greek statue.
Harry, impressed with Ned’s work, looked at him with his riveting green eyes
thanks for the example...its gonna help me
Thank you both so much! I've been concerned that I was putting in a bit too much description of the main MC by the main FC (and POV narrator), though it comes out in little dribbles: a mention here of his black curly hair, a reference there to eyes so dark one would hardly notice they were blue, all the while insisting that she paid him no attention whatsoever. (It soon comes out in a conversation with her neighbor that she dislikes blue eyes, particularly in men.) It's not that I want the reader to know just what he looks like; I'm hoping that this provides evidence of her unreliability as a narrator and her unwilling attraction to him despite the fact that he managed to annoy her right off the bat and a few times thereafter. Since she really can't say much to describe describe her own appearance, less is known of that for the first few chapters, though her nature is better revealed, both by her thoughts and actions and by her conversations with her neighbors. I think (hope) that some important ideas will be revealed by such lines as >
This was heaven sent *
Jesus loves you my brother or sister
I love your content Abbie! You've helped me so much on my writing journey, and figuring out my novel! So exited for your new book can't wait to read it! 🥰
Hey Abbie Emmons I love your videos! Your are very good at explaining story writing in a way that I can understand. You inspire me a lot as a writer! I’m having problems writing Male characters. As a female I can write female characters but I struggle a lot with writing male one. I wanted to know if you could make a video on that. Thank You!
I really love your side-by-side comparison, this was sooo helpful! great video, you two, helped me a lot =)
Thank you Kate and Abbie for your time and wisdom ❤
I'm a new writer on Kindle Vella, and your videos are very helpful. Watching this made me realize I'm not spending anywhere near enough time on character description.
U successful now?
Thank you for sharing your views on, how much is too much or too little. What I find very helpful is your template - an indispensable tool for me, Thank You, Ha Ha Katie's observations on the characters in the book and the same character in the movie are so different, sometimes shockingly so. I'm learning to Rock! off stage thanks to you. I can perceive my emergent game plan ( Moving towards me like a parchment shrouded in a mysterious cloud) to round off my writing protocols...A large part of my grounding is owed to you'll 🙏✍🙏
when I'm reading a book and read physycial descriptions I tend to mentally "cast" famous celebrities as these characters since I already know what they look like so it's easier to picture the characters
Can you please do a video on Media Literacy? I was taught by my professors in college thar good writers & storytellers are also good researchers who are able to effectively analyse and deconstruct how fiction and media works
It would at least help against the flood of atrocious hot takes that pollute the internet nowadays
Something I really like, which is demonstrated well in the book Priest by Matthew Colville, is when you can infer things about the character by their actions. For example you never get a description of the main character Heden, instead they say stuff like ‘he tried to run after them but his bones rattled in disagreement’. In other words we now know he’s old👍🏽
0:56, honestly you could describe them with a specific feature three times and a lot people will swear they were never described like that in the book. (*cough cough* Rue *cough*)
When I'm reading, if they don't give me much description of a character than I come up with an image in my head of what I imagine that character looking like. Then two books later they mention her auburn hair. "Wait! What?!" I personally become annoyed at this.
But I started writing my book then realized. I haven't put any character descriptions in here! It is because I already see the character in my head so I don't feel the need to write it down. Although sometimes I don't write descriptions because I'm not sure what I want them to look like yet. So I definitely struggle with this.
“Small” Character Description of a character I’m writing:
She has bright sapphire blue eyes that look as though they have seen heaven and hell all at once. Her complexion is dark; and if you get close enough, you can see the freckles littering her smooth skin. Her hair is the color of gold coins that have seen much age and have passed hands many, many times. She’s tall, but not quite enough so to stand out. She is far beyond conventionally attractive- she’s beautiful; her build is fair, and slim, and smooth. She catches attention, sure, but she keeps to the shadows and keeps her distance- as though she believes she is an object of observation, not one to be communicated with or understood.
More for me than from a POV of another character, but it could be.
I only need a few basics, especially if they are noteworthy or unusual. Like I will assume they are average height (so tell me if they are not). Hair color/texture is nice to know. But brow? Jaw? Don't care. 😆 Almost like a caricature, just show us the most standout features. Scent only seems to appear in romances. I couldn't tell you my friends' scents. 😉But great video and points, thank you. 💛
My story starts through the eyes of the main character waking up after an accident, still at the scene of the accident. They have temporal memory loss so they don't know who they are and they are aware that something bad just happened, but they look over themselves and and I loosely describe their black combat boots, cargo pants and thin white vest. I don't yet mention their gender, or their hair or skin colour. Does that sound okay? It's only later when they are at a place of temporary safety that they see themselves in a mirror and that's where I describe their reflection as they see it. It's as if they are looking at a face for the first time. Do you think that's okay? It only takes a few pages to get to that point so the reader is not guessing for long? Do you think that would be okay?
Great video and great advice. The biggest call out to me was the context question...what do you want to feature or call attention to given the circumstances. Why are you describing what you're describing for that character.
What are the rules for secondary characters? Besides the fact that they need to be related to the main plot one way or another, what do we have to keep in mind? How can we know it's a good idea to bring back a specific secondary character? In general, what do we need to keep in mind?
Make them contrast the main protagonist in a compelling way that highlights a character flaw. For example if you have a grizzled and cynical middle age man who is world- weary, have an naive and optimistic young child/pre-teen/teenager for them to interact with, and see how their worldviews and life experiences conflict
Basically think of Joel and Ellie in The Last of Us HBO series
I love this video. I learned a lot. Phenomenal content, for which I'm grateful.
There was an episode of CSI where two people gave their description of a subject to the police sketch artist. The 20-something girl who flirted with the perpetrator describes him using flattering words and idyllic features, the other account is from a young girl, who describes the assailant as a monster. Both are describing the same individual, but their personal bias tainted how they recollected this man's image.
As an author, you can play with this concept and have the POV character's bias influence how the reader perceives the world. OR, you can choose to remove their stance from the descriptions and state everything a objectively as possible.
As always, use your best judgment to see what works for your writing style and the characters in your story. But be aware that not all characters in your story need to see someone the same.
Any chance u can explain the difference between Third person limited and third person omniscient?
Generally, third person limited follows only one character (at a time/per chapter). The narrator can only access that character's thoughts and point of view (though it's still in third person). Third person omniscient is where the narrator can access the thoughts and point of view of multiple (or all) characters. Basically: Reading one person's mind versus reading everyone's minds.
In third limited, you are stuck focusing on one character and their thoughts. In omniscient, you essentially tell the story from multiple characters simultaneously. I'll update with examples as soon as I can. (and hopefully explain better.)
Examples:
Third Omniscient: Dune (basically no spoilers, this is from the first chapter, and nothing plot relevant happens in these lines) Bold means inner monologue for those confused. It's in italics in the book, but I couldn't figure that out.
*Damn that Jessica!* the Reverend mother thought. *if only she'd borne us a girl as she was ordered to do*
Jessica stopped three paces from the chair, dropped a small curtsy, a gentle flick of left hand along the line of her skirt. Paul gave the short bow of his dancing master had taught-- the one used "when in doubt of another's station."
Jessica's hand went to Paul's shoulder, tightened there.For a heartbeat, fear pulsed through her palm. Then she had herself under control. "thus he had been taught Your Reverence."
*What does she fear?* Paul wondered.
As we can see, we access the inner thoughts of three separate characters in this scene. There are only paragraph breaks in between the transitions, whereas a third person limited novel would only have to focus on, say, Paul's emotions and POV, and would have to make a POV transition very clear, I'll update with an example of third limited soon.
Here's your third limited example: Grab a book off your shelf and read it. 60% it's third limited.
I had to look up the colour honeysuckle. I've heard it but never knew what it looked like. Abbie, what colour would you describe your hair as?
In S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders, she did a great job at not giving too much detail. I was quickly able to make a mental image of them in my mind, mostly because I watched the movie first.
this was help full. ty.
Love it if you would do something for those who might want to do a graphic novel or comic book. I'm into drawing right now because writing seems to have stalled for the moment. Thank you. But I still watch the retreats and enjoy writing and creating with others and you.
I think I'm just too autistic for character descriptions like these. When I meet a person for the first time, I don't notice if they are a walking ray of sunshine. I notice a few things about their looks, sometimes I get aesthetic attraction. I might notice their clothing style. And that's it for the first impression. Except when they talk. I will probably get more info from the subtext of their speech than I get from their looks.
Thank you! I'm writing a book from the perspective of Death, so I needed this badly.
Thank you guys this helped a lot❤💯
I'm such a big fan of you, Abbie! You both rock!
Hey Abbie, I thought I had nailed it, thought I got everything right for my debut middle grade historical fiction 😅from the descriptions to the inciting incident to the pinch point, the internal/external conflict, etc...but just the other day saw on Goodreads 😢my book Escape from Bussorah Street received a 2-star rating from two readers, without giving their reviews! Where did I go wrong 🤔
Hi Abbie! I just wanted to say i really liked 100 days of sunlight! I read it all day because i literally couldn’t put it down
Day 2 of asking for a video on your favourite romance troupes list
Also great job on this video I really loved how you explained how to describe a character! It really helps! THANKS!
I'm assuming you add all these details in a full length novel, but I'm working on a short story and I'm not quite sure how much detail is too much detail. I know it takes place in the winter time, (miid December), and there's one main character is home from college and babysitting his three teenage siblings and at least four other people show up through-out the story. (This story has nothing to do with Christmas...it's just the time of the year it takes place). But one draft I feel like I haven't added enough detail, and another draft I feel like has too much detail. Can you help guide me into the perfect amount for a short story?
A pragmatic way of looking at it disregarding POV is only mentioning details as they are relevant or are going to be relevant. So if we're in a room where a high tense scene with a confrontation between two spies from different organizations fighting, I would before the scene starts describe the room with details relating to the mood of the room, the intended importance and use, and listing any objects that will become useful in the fight later. So mood and intended importance to contrast the misuse and current antithetical mood during the fight, and the objects in the room to show how they are important during the scene.
So Summary:
1. Every description has a use. Just think about the use of the description and how it will be relevant.
2. Keep in mind the use and utility within the story, so you don't make it unclear.
What's the book that's backward above Kate's shoulder?
Love your examples.
With regards to physical descriptions, there is nothing that will turn me off faster than a full paragraph describing what a character is wearing...like, we get it your character is so alternative and *~edgy~* but I literally do not care about their stripey red and black sweater, studded platform boots, and ripped black jeans. I do not care, lol.
I feel it's fairly simple. You don't describe every single thing about people you see daily or normally. Those things become invisible. Doing that in writing is just flat out info dumping. Tell me what I need to know when I need to know it.
Great info! Love the hair Abbie!
Do I have to describe my character when I 1st talk about him or I can Always do it later on in the story
Congrats on the video, buddy! You nailed it! 🎉💪
I actually prefer Jane Austen's lack of physical descriptions. She tells almost nothing about her characters' appearances because that's not important for the story. It doesn't matter what color Elizabeth Bennet's hair is. All we need to know is that she's not as pretty as Jane so we understand why Mr. Darcy doesn't find her attractive at first but finds her more beautiful as he falls in love with her.
It's also interesting that adaptations have generally gone with a blonde Jane and a brunette Lizzy, giving away a lot about our societal beauty standards.
@@SR-zp4je Which might even be one of the reasons why Slipper and the Rose is my favorite Cinderella adaptation--first one I ever saw in which Cinderella was brunette (and as a brunette myself, it always grated when blonde/blue eyes was equated with prettier than brown hair/brown eyes).
My dear beta reader (who is close to me) keeps wanting me to slow down and include extra description of characters (in what should be a quick flashback) whom we will never see again. They were only included to show how the main character struggled with the kids who were around her early in life. How much should I slow down for these?
Writing a book was always my dream. But how do you deal with finding out that another author alteady had the same idea as you in the past? I struggle with that a lot.
It’s all been done before, but that doesn’t discredit your book. Your ideas and character arcs will be different than the other author. What you should hon in, I think, is the internal conflict and their transformation. If it makes you feel better, change some details, make them distinct.
@juliancocaesario most stories are good versus evil, how you want to show and give the lesson of good versus evil is up to your imagination. You are uniquely you so it will be a different story.
Thank you 🙏🏽
Hi Abbie! I love your videos and your advice, as they have helped my writing tremendously. I just wanted to pop in and see if I could get your opinion on something: I have been thinking about signing up and participating on a writing platform that allows writers to publish their novels chapter-by-chapter and receive feedback. However, I plan to attempt to traditionally publish the novel I'm currently working on and am not sure whether posting my work on a platform like that would affect my chances of being traditionally published. Do agents and publishers look at that sort of thing? Any information you might have about this would be great :)
Sorry. I know I'm not Abbie, but if the platform actually has you "publish" each chapter (for anyone to read), then most publishers would reject any queries bc your book was already "first published," so it's risky. I heard that Goodreads is one place (as well as trusted family members) to find beta readers who can read your book and give you their general impression and advice (that you can take with caution depending on each person's taste and experience).
How would one describe a character’s height? Because I can’t think of a single book I’ve read where any of the characters were described like “he was 5’9”.
Just straight up say if they’re tall or short. Or compare your protagonist’s height to their height.
Love this
The two examples you mentioned..is it weird that I liked the first one more..I'm not a professional nor do I read novels that much neither is english my first language needless to say this video was for professionals aiming to become writers and not for me...
Edit : on second thought flat example is not better than the other😅
Currently writing a character who went through a magical shape change seeing herself in the mirror for the first time. I plan on writing it as an experience rather than a observation. Trailing a finger over her freckles. Running a hand trough her new hair. Stuff like that. Here is to hoping I don't make it creepy
... describing not just how they look, but who they are... (9:48) I would like to call this describing the character's external and 'Internal' beauty
It reminds me of when you described how weston looked. I had no idea he was tan. I thought of him as kinda pale
Same! He was also blonde, which we knew at the very end of the book. But while reading the book, I pictured him as a red-head instead of blonde and felt weird when it was revealed he was blonde.
Hello Abbie. For the longest time i've always stuggled to write good descriptions for my story characters, But not just their facial and body looks. My stories are based off Tokusatu shows and dramas, such as Kamen Rider & Super Sentai/Power Rangers. My question is, what is a good way to better describe the body suits/Power armor, masks and helmets my characters wear without going overboard on a info dump, but still giving my readers a good description on how they look?
That just ruined my night
@@arzabael ok?
@@Headtheif101 sorry. It just made me feel bad because it’s not the kind of request that receives a response. That said have you made any progress with the descriptive language issue?
@@arzabael oh, ok. and still struggling a bit.
To avoid info dumping, you should choose the most important descriptions of the item. (In this case, suits. Color, material, purpose, etc). People are more likely to remember a function over an exact description (bulletproof police suit).
You probably cant get readers to see exactly what you do, but people know in general what a helmet looks like. (And you can get more specific: Bike helmet, motorcycle helmet, astronaut helmet, etc).
Try not to over-describe anything unnecessary. Does it really matter if the reader knows exactly what the helmet looks like?
Give big descriptions with a well-chosen word sprinkled into the story.
Example: info dump description: The pink suit was made of bulletproof material that reflected in the sun. The helmet's visor was clear, while the rest of the helmet was the same shiny pink as the suit. The suit was as tight as catwomans.
Descriptions within action example: She shoved up the helmet's visor as she dove at the attacker firing his gun. The pink fabric of her form-fitting suit deflected the bullet.
⭐️
I struggle writing descriptions as I hate reading them and after reading the first thing mentioned skip over the rest.
I may be a unicorn in this community, but I continually struggle to visualize characters regardless of how well they are described. I still love reading and writing. Unfortunately, my mind struggles with this skill.
The predicament I'm in is figuring out how to describe someone as pretty without sounding horny
There are some writers I know personally, who will describe a character with one trait, and then halfway through their book, I find out the character is Indian (from India). Some writers are waaaaaaaaaay too vague with their character descriptions. YOU, Abbie, are one of those writers.
I understand that you are purposely vague because then your audience can insert themselves into the character, but for me, if I don't have a clear vision of the character, I get confused easily. When I was reading "The Best Christmas Ever" I just assumed YOU were the main character and pictured you. BUT (a big BUT) if people hadn't seen your YT videos or saw a picture of the author, I would have been completely lost as to what the character looks like.
I guess you could use the metaphor of salt. Too much really sours the piece, whereas too little leaves the meal bland. I don't think "Honeysuckle hair and sky blue eyes" is a very good description, because one, I have no idea what honeysuckle looks like. I googled it, and depending on the age one the honeysuckle, it can be strong yellow to white, and two, with "sky blue eyes" you've got to understand, the sky is a 1000 different colors during the day.
When I do magic tricks, I have a bit where I ask people, what color is the sky? They always say blue, but the joke is that I always ask this at night, when the sky is black. I know when you say sky blue that you mean blue, but is it a hazy blue? A saturated blue? A pastel blue? Greenish blue? Grayish blue? Teal? I don't know what "sky blue" is referring to and I found the description confusing.
I have literally no idea how to describe facial features.
I really dislike when authors explains way too much so thats a full page of description or way too less like a sentence or some words.describing should be moderate and not too much so the readers can enjoy what they're reading.
Like morning mist morphed into a white forest that stands tall, reflecting the sun with its emerald waters
I have a pov character who is good at describing new characters but I can’t find a not awkward way to describe existing characters because my MC already knows what it looks like.
As just a reader I’ve noticed this feels most natural when the MC is in situations that they can watch how the existing characters interact with others. Particularly letting the MC describe how others respond to the known character. Maybe the MC has a best friend is very attractive. The MC might not be attracted to their friend themselves, but the MC probably would notice that others always seem to comment on how attractive the friend is. Or the MC notices that certain things just come easier to the friend because they are attractive. Just a thought. 😊
Me, an artist drawing a few illustrations for my story to avoid too much descriptions:
Putting the jawline in your list of basics is psychotic
But, people's jawlines can differ a ton from person to person and have a huge impact on a viewer's impression. If the jawline is "double," maybe that person struggles with self-discipline or has health issues (or personal challenges) that have affected his or her inner perspective.
@@brandic89 you mean they fat
POV: *Me a foreigner* " w a i t what's a honeysuckle? * lolz honeysuckle🤠* can - can i eat it ( •-•)? yeah noo i sweetly don't care about her smiling days in june.. or what symbole girl has on her anckle today! HONEY iʼm tattooed in *Time* here 😭📱
- only shot i got today😑🔭
A..
✨ *sCREEnSH0T* ✨
👁️👄👁️🤳🏻
I ❤ this video 😊
👍🏻
Why am I watching this? My novel will be about animals. I think people know what a fox looks like. 😂
I NOT GOOD AT WRITING THAT THINGS I ONLY LOVER WRITING
Why should I describe at all. What about the name someone throughs on the protagonist? Does it not describe him? Why should I describe his hair when there is a scene on the beach when he has to pull his curly, blond, brown, thin, dirty hair out of his face? I do not describe my protagonist. It comes piece by piece.
Hey…I’m in love with her, but You’re too much a part of me to let go. She’s completely fine with it if I meet you… because she understands that I never had a choice and she’ll give it to me. I believe that it’s only right if we actually try and see what happens. Will you come to India, princess Jasmine?
I like you Kate but: Then the movie comes out and there is outrage because nobody thought that the character looks like that, sounds to me like a writer's luxuary problem.
I don't like that in the example you mentioned: "She makes everybody around her smile", or so. It is telling, not showing. I'd prefer see this behavior by the story, not description.
Your very beautiful girls. I'd love to be there while you were doing this. Awesome---Very very good. I have to start- NOW! in doing this. I write fair and even good story projects. But You don't see the characters, You don't feel the emotions of the characters. It's yes- Formatted in Pro software but it lacks the thing when some one reads it - Do they feel the film.
I appreciate you addressing this issue, but your math is a bit off. You say you need two or three out of four things, but really, your list is 10, and just two of those could equal an info dump.
Hi…wanna talk?
Don't describe characters.
Wdym
@@starstruckmanic Characters only become real when their worldview, expressed through their actions, conflicts with the world they live in.
Who cares if he had sandy hair and his favorite color was green? Maybe he was wearing a plaid shirt too but that didn't matter because the gunshot in the bedroom told him his five-year-old found his service revolver. You see, Mac was only good at one thing, or at least he thought so before he was laid off. For the last eight months, he had been feeling worthless as the financial pressures closed in on him like a boa around his throat.
It's hard to demonstrate the idea in a few words without sounding completely melodramatic. HTAYQ.
To any aspiring writers reading this, pls don’t listen to this advice..
When I read, I’m imaging a movie in my head. I can’t do that without a good description. I can fill in the blanks and make up my own character designs in my head, sure, but I would much rather know that I’m envisioning the scene the way the author intended
I get what u are saying don’t get me wrong, but there is an importance to character descriptions
@@ShahadA10agreed